Trying Blossom’s Fake Food Life Hacks 

I love how in order to test if the food is real you have to destroy it beyond enjoyment first

"Teresa, my roomate-" *cuts to cute girl waving and smiling* "Has a fucking FLAMETHROWER" This was a cinematic masterpiece on it's own

“Flamethrower” Jarvis that’s a blowtor- Shh don’t ruin this for him

I love the idea of Jarvis walking through a park and stopping, his girlfriend goes "Jarvis, what's wrong?" And he just goes "I think I smell... the prophecy"

My fave part of the rice thing is that if it was true, do you think people wouldn't notice hard pieces of plastic in their soft rice??

It would literally be cheaper to have a pound of rice than a pound of rice with 1/3 of it being plastic. Company’s would lose money using plastic bits

That fucking rice thing, I live in an Asian country and somehow my father saw that video on a local "news channel" here. Since then, he has stopped eating rice.... I have been trying to convince him for a year that it was a dumb internet thing

“ You hear that kids, eat your weed” I CANT STOP LAUGHING

“Luckily my roommate has a f*cking flame thrower.” - Jarvis Johnson

The only reason the “natural” cheese melted like that is because it has more fat than the processed cheese

"Everything's a rock." *I'm an earth elemental*

“This is like a metaphor for America. Processed, artificial, um... *orange* ”

“My roommate has a flamethrower” she is a cool roommate

Did you know oxygen is poisonous? Every person who has ever breathed oxygen has died

I have a few things to explain about the Food-Related statements this channel has put out. I am in no way an expert, and only know what I know by doing research. So please, do not take it that I know all things about food. This is only things that I have discovered by doing a bit of homework on the subject. Thank you. 1. High-fat cheese will burn, due to how flammable fat is, no matter what kind, it will always be flammable. Meanwhile, Low Fat cheese will not burn as easily, due to the opposite reason. 2. Yes, some pills do burn in the oven, however, it depends on what they contain. If they contain sugar, they will burn into a crisp. This most likely would be a Chewable Tablet, meanwhile, some other things will only burn in small spots, due to containing one thing that burns, and multiple other's that don't. This will give them a kind of dapple effect. Capsules will melt, and whatever fluids or powders inside of them will react to the heat depending on their ingredients. 3. Rice being mixed with Plastic has been disproven several times. So this point is basically useless. 4. Said "Ground-up-Rocks" in Babyfood are most likely crushed Magnets, which will gather in one area when pulled by a stronger Magnetic Force. The code of conduct for producing Baby Food is very strict, and is not allowed to contain any harmful products, however, checking the ingredients is always recommended as to be sure that there are no ingredients your baby may be allergic to. 5. When the seaweed was added to the "Fake-Milk", it was more than obvious that Dye was added to the milk. Even Jarvis covered this fact. The camera was zoomed in just enough to hide the dye being added, and even aside from that, Seaweed contains no blue to its colour, only very dark green. If it let off any colour at all, it would most likely be the same green colour you get from most plants, just a different shade due to the plant's hue. 6. Ground Coffee will always sink eventually, no matter what is in it, however, the speed in which it floats depends on how, and when it was ground, The additives, and things like that. However, the speed can also be altered if there is a disturbance in the water, i.e. the glass shaking, as the water no longer stands still, forcing the grounds to fall quicker. 7. Salt making the water cloudy does not contain Chalk, but instead another additive. It contains a powder which keeps it from clumping. This additive is entirely safe to consume, however, if you do not want this additive in your salt, you can buy a Salt Grinder, which allows you to ground the salt yourself, and does not give any chance of the salt clumping, leaving out the need for the additive entirely. 8. A small clip shown in this video involved a cut of Steak, this is a complete lie which states that if you find a stretchy, white material in your steak or any other meat, it is Meat Glue. This is not Meat Glue, this is Fat, or horrible even Connective Tissue. (Connective tissue is very Thin, Transparent, and Tough, Far is chunkier, more Opaque, and much, much stretchier.) Meat glue, however, is in a granulated state before it is added. It is rubbed on dry, then the meat is rolled together tightly and chilled. If separated, said Meat Glue is very mushy and still has a granulated texture, nothing like Connective Tissue, or Fat.

if Jarvis gets popular enough that fans do "out of context" compilations, I want 5:31 to be the intro clip for at least 8 of them

I hate channels that feed people bad information for the sake of farming content. Thanks for debunking them.

The “natural” cheese just has a higher fat content, that’s why it melts

my brain didn’t process the fact that there’s a cameraman i just thought there was another jarvis holding the camera or it was floating or something

So, salt has a small amount of anti-caking agents, usually some form of sugar or polysacaride such as maltodextrin or dextrose. They wouldn't use chalk because A: It wouldn't work as an anti caking agent. and B: It's more expensive than salt.

Jarvis: Anyone got a lighter? His roommate: *Well yes, but actually no.*

Those “plastic bits” are just rice, the starch in it underwent some chemical reactions, it’s the same if you put rice in a rice cooker and get that plastic like film around the edges of the pot, it’s just starch

Spinach? Rock! Broccoli? Rock! Dwayne Johnson...? Rock! They’re all rocks! This had me absolutely rolling

How I imagine their conversation went: Jarvis: Do you have a lighter? Teresa: No, but I got a flame thrower Jarvis: WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT???????

“luckily, my roommate teresa has a f***ing flamethrower” +100 *RESPECT*

If rice was mixed with plastic, then my Asian ass would’ve died years ago 🙄

“This is like a metaphor for America, artifical, processed, _orange_ ” I CANT-

"Minerals bad" Literally everyone: well, guess I'll die.

If you’re interested, then Ann Readon made a wideo about this and she explains, why these reactions actually happen.

Robber: robs jarvis's house teresa: so you have chosen......death

I was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when you said “If peanut butter and jelly tastes good to you, you have 5 years left to live. Sorry” Nice

"I'm you from the fancy future" God, this mutiverse story from jarvis just keeps getting more complicated huh

What I've learned from that food lifehack video is: trees are synthetic because they burn.

Thanks to Blossom's food hack I found out I've been eating a Land Rover Range Rover Evoque 2.0 TD4 E-Capability 4x4 HSE Dynamic 4 Door Capacity

I love how Jarvis is both really funny and really informative at the same time, like I learn a lot of new things watching his videos lol

Jarvis: *going on about how smart he is when it comes to coffee* Me, an avid tea drinker: Trust me, your knowledge is being wasted on me, friend.

I love that you replaced “face” in Facebook with a real face

Trees burn, so trees are not natural. Take that teachers!

Jarvis: IT SMELLS LIKE THE PROPHECY! Harry Potter: No, don't like that.

13:28 jarvis looks like he's gonna kill Steve if he didn't say march

so if cheese melts, its real, but if supplements melt theyre artificial? Oh boy, hope I dont get those two confused

Jarvis: My lighter just ran out of fluid so... Theresa: *_Allow me to introduce myself._*

funny how my grandma is more educated than middle-aged facebook moms that fall for this crap

It's funny that they act like synthetic supplements are bad, when in reality a lot of what's "man made" is really good for you and can help solve problems surrounding deficiencies.

"When you're folding laundry and decide to turn yourself into a hoodie crab... We've all been there." -The greatest quote of all time

I think blossom is trying to cancel the life source of Asians

In just the first five minutes, I laughed so hard that I cried, ran out of oxygen, and curled up on my bed in a blind, wheezing heap. Past the roommate blowtorch "flamethrower" comment, everything else was just cruel overkill. Lmao

In case you’re curious, the channel How To Cook That also reviewed this video and gives a slightly more factual reasons for how this video is wrong I think Jarvis’s points are great, but the person from How To Cook That is actually a baker and understands the real science behinds some of these “hacks”

the rock: " YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'?" me: "Baby food."

"Alright, now back to the history of coffee." *coffee grinder noises* "SEE, IT ALL STARTED WITH A COFFEE BERRY-"

I don’t have a reason, but this is one of my favorite videos of Jarvis… I’ve been watching this at least once a month for the last 3 years… takes me back to a little bit better time and plus my brother really liked it… maybe that’s why

That whole coffee bit was pure gold lmao.

This whole video was an excuse to use a flamethrower

“This is like, a metaphor for America. Processed, artificial.... orange.” Can I get that framed?

I had to pause the video and laugh for awhile before I was prepared for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson joke punchline

"Udder-wise" I'm living for this

"i'm you from the fancy future" can we just appreciate how Jarvis makes the sponsor worth watching

Blossom: "Ground up rocks are being put in your baby food!1!1!1!1! Fear for your life!1!1" Also Blossom: *advocates that you eat pure uncut salt, a **_rock_*

“Everything’s a rock!” TOP TEN QUESTIONS SCIENTISTS STILL CAN’T ANSWER

"After all... this was roasted in March- HAHAHAHAHAHA" i loved that so much.

My broccoli water is green that means ‘THEY ARE ADDING FOOD COLORING TO MY FOOD’

Jarvis: Dang it my lighter ran out of fluid Teresa: Wanna use my flamethrower? Jarvis: Why do you have this? Teresa: Don't worry about it.

That "TRUST NO ONE" made me cackle like a witch!😂😂😂😂

“If you’re fancy like me, which you are because we are FØRĘVËR ŁĮŃKĘD”

"Eat your weed" -Jarvis Johnson 2019

I would never buy something that burns when I burn it

I love how they showed how synthetic supplements burn while natural ones don't when the whole point is that they are supposed to burn/break down the same way in your stomach so they are digested, unlike the "natural" ones

Shows jarvis's roommate a really calm looking person also Jarvis: Luckily my roommate has a flipping flame thrower...

"When you decide to turn yourself into a hoodie crab" *We'Ve aLl bEeN thErE !*

The difference in the way processed and natural cheese melts when held to the flame is due to its fat content. Natural cheese has a higher fat content than processed cheese. Also all cheese is processed in some way. Cheese just doesn’t occur naturally.

the magnetic mineral baby food thing is something a science teacher made us do to test the different levels of iron in cereal that was marketed as fortified. the only hack is seeing if you're getting what you pay for

ok but the production quality is so good on that beginning skit

okay but I can't believe you actually did the hoodie crab thing

“luckily, my roommate teresa has a f***ing flamethrower” She's a keeper

fruits and vegetables DO have wax, but it's completely harmless and is used to ensure that your food doesn't go off in like 5 days!!

also. if you get skim milk. they do something to color it more white because when you take all the fat out of milk it NATURALLY is blue, and they didn't think that would be as appealing

very fake fact on coffee: Jarvis, an intellectual: iT's mY tIMe to sHInE

"Heating up rice is an unavoidable part of the cooking process." - Jarvis Johnson, 2019

the last three minutes of the video are absolutely priceless.

i've watched this video about 5 times now and i still cant get over how much i love the endling

Smooth with the sponsor ad actually enjoyed it lmao

"This is like a metaphor for America. Processed, artificial, o r a n g e." best quote ever

I'm not that person, but I really miss THIS jarvis 😢 i miss his old sketch-style comedy

So I do remember living in China when there was a scandal about fake rice being sold in stores. Yes, it was allegedly made of plastic. The country had some food quality assurance issues at the time. Not sure if that's still the case.

“My roommate Teresa” Me: (sees sweet asian girl) “Has a flame thrower” Me:...I have questions...

“Aww man, the lighter ran out of fluid!” “nah bro I got you I have a spare flamethrower under my bed”

“It smells like... the prophecy?l “precisely” lol

15:08 DE- [lip warble? I have no clue what to call this sound is]

Anyone else feel like Jarvis is a good role model for millennials, like all his friends are cool, he looks fit, he is a big brain boy, and he is really funny.

Just remember people, all your meat has Elmer's glue in it and your ice cream is made of dishwashing liquid. Three smiles for disappointment!!! :)))

11:22 as a non coffee drinker, that straight up looks like dirt the way it disperses

Talking about how you HAVE to heat rice to cook it gave me the most intrusive thought of someone just chowing down on uncooked rice and the crunch that would make.

Also fun fact about Calcium (element/salt calcium at least) - it’s not magnetic. In order for it to be magnetic, it has to have free electrons (basically be a negative ion). It can be magnetic through lab shenanigans, but there’s no way standard calcium can be magnetic. Especially with the iron (I’m pretty sure that’s iron at least) magnet they have.

"SALT CONTAINS CHALK! Making it CLOUDY!" We are gonna pretend oceans don't exist k?

“It smells like... the prophecy?” I was laughing so hard the first time I heard that

i did the math and a grain of rice is worth approximately $0.00011, while an equally-sized average piece of plastic is worth approximately $0.0019, indicating plastic of a similar size is worth 15-20 times more. makes no sense they would use it as a filler.

I feel ashamed for laughing out loud at the AD... “Wow, this smells like.. THE PROPHECY”

"Hey, what'cha up to?" "Oh nothing. Im BURNING CHEESE,"

I love how this man made watching an advert fun

I'd imagine there's never a dull moment being his roommate