Unrealistic Beauty Standards Made Me Waste My Money 

Have you ever been influenced to buy something by ads on social media? by peer pressure?

before social media I didn't have a problem with my appearance. walking around in real life, nobody looks like these IG models. social media is the problem.

I was always considered "ugly" based on societies expectation of beauty. It was very hard to live in a society that only sees beauty from the outside. I am almost 55 and don't care what people think about how I look. I take care of myself and allow my true beauty from within to shine. I choose to dress my eyes with kindness. Choose to dress my lips by speaking with compassion and dress my heart with love. Women are Goddesses deep down and it is time to put down the beauty products and share our divine essence. As always, great video. Thank you for being an inspiration

I can relate when you say you didn’t know there was something “wrong” with you until someone else pointed it out.

I find your natural beauty more appealing. Nowadays it’s actually a flex to look naturally pretty. You look more authentic and more trustworthy. Just wholesome :)

And aging is huge too. This whole hitting the wall Era , shouldn't I be happy to be able to live past 30? Let me finish enjoying my late 20s

"You are more profitable unhappy and discontent, than happy and fulfilled"

Yes!!! As a girl with curly hair I’ve felt this. The curly hair community really paints this idea that you need to spend a lot of money on so many products and spend so much time on your hair. I got tired of it and I was going to go get a keratin treatment because I just thought that I had no other choice except to spend a bunch on different products. But then I realized how ridiculous that was. Now I spend hardly any time on it and I only use coconut oil to style. It’s crazy how social media, ads and influencers can really make you believe that you need these unnecessary things

"no one is Not born ugly... We are just Born in a very Judgemental Society" you are absolutely on point 👍

Wow this was so raw and honest, it must have been challenging to talk about all this! It definitely makes me feel less alone when I have my bad days and judge my appearance. Great video!

It’s such a common Asian trait - growing up in Singapore, the first thing uncles and aunties would say on seeing me is remark on my appearance… in the same night, someone would say “hey you’ve put on weight”…. And someone else would say “hey you’ve lost weight”… and of course I’d hold my tongue from replying “and hey you’ve lost your manners!” 😂 I treat it as a game now whenever I go back to visit and silently count each remark - at least have some fun with it! 🤷🏻‍♀️

As a 19 year old who is facing skin issues it was so important to be reminded that every scar, pimple and patches are normal and temporary. I have been buying skin care products to get that glass clear skin. I have been trying all kinds of home remedies but nothing seems to work. I was so scared to even go out to meet people. I slowly am coming to the realization that no matter how my skin and body looks I still am a beautiful human being. For anyone feeling the way I do remember that you're the most beautiful human being to exist on earth!!❤

Your story can also apply to men. I've always been insecure about my wavy hair, that for a while I used Japanese straightening treatment. Media has always promoted that straight hair is more attractive. Eventually I got tired of maintaining that straight hair, plus my hair my heavily damaged from all that blow drying. So I decided to stop and let the curly hair reign once again. Sure I miss all the compliments, but I slowly learned to embrace what the creator has given me naturally and been happy with my hair ever since.

" Your adornment must not be merely external-braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." 1-Peter 3:3,4

I love how quiet your voice is- it’s calming and I can actually listen to the info / watch video without feeling stressed! These are really inspiring / well done. Thank you!

We have this same judgemental beauty standard here in the Caribbean, having a more curvaceous body or lighter in skin complexion, blemishes free skin. Im have acne scars and my mom is always pushing creams and soaps to clear my skin; but ive learned to be happier and kinder to myself. I remember the first time I've found your channel and thought to myself wow she's so tan for a Korean and I was instantly drawn & loved you, not because you're tan but because you weren't trying to live up to the beauty standards 😊💕

The world needs more people like you. Social media needs more influencers like you!

After going through some health challenges I feel grateful to be alive. I don’t care about all these beauty standards anymore. I actually haven’t for a while. I’ve embrace my grays. I don’t mind the fine wrinkles between my brows. I enjoy my tan. It’s proof I’ve been outdoors. My focus now is to stay healthy and enjoy my simple life with my wonderful husband and beautiful kids.

I constantly hear woman pitting themselves down with sarcastic self depreciating jokes, and it breaks my heart everytime I wish I could show them all how beautiful they are.

Girl I feel you. I'm a 3rd culture kid, filipino parents living in dubai since birth, but I didn't grow up being told off about my physical appearance. but now that I'm married, married to a Chinese man and relocated here in China. here they are always constantly picking at your appearance. I don't actually have tan skin but became tanned especially when I came here (and still becoming tanner while I live here who knows why. haha) and I have a baby and they just constantly pick at her about her tanned skin, monolid eyes, curly hair and also feet size. FEET SIZE. Ridiculous. She's not even 2 yet calling her wide foot . Everyone's feet here is particularly smaller. But not mine, Not my daughter. It's harder to find shoes here too. I'm just sick of this honestly. Thank you for sharing, I feel the weight on my shoulders slightly fall away knowing there are others who don't prioritize trends. But reality is we have to keep facing these people, I can only pray for God to protect the identity of my daughter as she grows.

I used to feel bad when comparing myself online but then when I went out to the real world there’s rarely attractive people cuz they’re only on social media. If anything being around actual humans made me see how beautiful I am

Why is your monologue in the beginning so relatable? No matter where you come from the STANDARD is impossible. What is worse, I've noticed in recent years different ethnicities becoming in and out of style. LIKE WHHHYYYYY??? 😬😱🙃 When can we stop treating women's appearance like fashion.

It’s crazy how our perceptions of ourselves is often so different from what others perceive about us. Like you are stunning to me, and I wouldn’t have guessed you had insecurities growing up. I’m glad you are more accepting of yourself now though.

I was always proud of my unassuming mostly grey and black clothes, until friends and family pointed out I should dress up.. more colors, more dresses. So I tried, but although some look ok on me, I just don't feel myself. And I noticed that the people I feel closest to, never try to push my fashion sense in a different direction. Its mostly people who are a little further away from me, and actually quite different from me. So I wondered, why do I let people influence me that are actually not really in tune with who I am? Its a little like that fight club quote "impressing people we don't really like or know well". Now I'm slowely back to my simple, basic clothing, and I feel much better. Sometimes I long for the time we didn't see sooo much influenced content around us. I really like what you said, it's time for us to reflect back to what we actually want to see.

As a first generation Filipino American growing up in Alabama, I never felt that I checked off any boxes for beauty standards. I really resonated with you when you commented how it was culturally common for family members to comment on physical appearance (for me it was being called thunder thighs since I’m taller/bigger for a classic Asian build - now 5’7” 130lb). Along with that, just growing up in the south led me to believe that I was brown and ‘dirty’ even scrubbing my skin harder in the shower and being teased all through grade school for having flat facial features (I remember boys would ask me if a truck ran over my face). Flash forward to today, it’s people like you that makes me appreciate my features and accept myself for who I am. I too think it’s important to appreciate our health and our happiness and feeling confident will fall afterwards. I really hope many young girls watch your video because you are a great role model!

I wish I've seen this video when I was 14, I struggled so many years with my appearance, feeling ugly and now in my 30s I finally started to love me and accept me the way I am, I hope your video reaches all the women who are struggling with low self esteem, thank you Sophie, blessings and love to you

Thank you for this! I've considered quitting wearing makeup because I dont want my young daughters to have the impression that they need to look a certain way or do certain things to look or feel beautiful. I'm overweight now but honestly, there are times when I have never felt more beautiful... to realize what my body has done for me, to be grateful for my health... I think growing older and raising my girls have helped me realize that it's more important to feel beautiful than to look like society's (often dysfuctional) standard of beauty. ❤

lol i'm Chinese and it's super common to get these comments growing up too. I didn't like one bit of it and sometimes i wonder why people in our family feel like they need to give unsolicited advice. Sometimes these are remarks about things one person can't change like facial features. But then again it's possible that the people giving out this advice and criticism that they themselves have bought into the beauty trends/standards you mentioned, and are the ones that lack self esteem. But when you're young, you don't know how to filter and discern whether their remarks should matter to you. At that age we are easy to mold and shape and trust what adults say without questioning whether it applies to us or if it's a projection of their own insecurities.

I pretty much stopped wearing makeup (and also shaving my legs and armpits) when my daughters got old enough to ask me why I was doing it. I do NOT want them to think there is anything wrong with the way they are and exist naturally as a human.

I never used anything to my skin. Nothing. No make up. No cream nothing. I am in my late 20. I really don’t care of others judging me. I hate creams make ups on my skin. I feel that my skin can’t breathe. I like myself. And that is most important.

I enjoy Korean music and drama .I am Japanese and born and raised .so many social media introduced a lot of makeups , I’m overwhelmed ! And so many beauty youtubers declutters 50 eyeshadows ! I’m not feeling well . For myself , I need a diet , I’m diabetes and I felt ugly sometimes but I realize I’m working on yoga, choose what to eat carefully . Be yourself , you are beautiful !

Great video as usual! This is what I completely don't understand about society. Especially as a grown-up, I would NEVER negatively comment randomly on someone's appearance right in their face. WHY? Either you compliment someone to make their day, or you just shut your mouth! It is that simple. All my life I've been judged and commented by people without asking for their opinion. That's why I hated school and working in an office. I also got many compliments, but my mind developed the habit to focus on the negative. I wish society would just stop this behaviour, mind their own business and compliment each other. I also realized, whenever I'm too much on social media, I start to concentrate on my flaws instead of the things I love about myself. All of those fake perfect life accounts, filters and the overuse of facetune on social media trick our brains regarding fiction vs. reality. Weekly social media detox and surrounding yourself with the right people is key to me.

You are radiantly beautiful - inside and out. Your husband is a lucky man.

namjoon's another quote/tweet "sometimes we should just be respected for staying alive" is something i think everyone should abide by before pointing out "flaws" on anyone >:( also, loved this video 💗

It's funny how people point only the "disadvantages" they think we have and never say a good word! Giving compliments to people is so easy and the joy in their faces the best reward you get!! Your videos are so to the point each time!! Thank you for the inspiration!!🐱🌷🌷

She already fits the beauty standard and felt insecure shows that no one is ever good enough for media’s beauty standards

You’re so important Malama ✨thank you for this video

I really relate to this. My Taiwanese family would mildly criticize me when I visited. “You would be pretty if you didn’t have…” some version of that. Then growing up in the states, there weren’t many non-western looking models of beauty. I had to learn to let go of physical appearance as a measure of my worth at 35. But it’s still really hard!

Sophie, I don't know why you ever even worried about how you looked. From my point of view you're very stunning with a warm smile. As you stated makeup is cool, exercise is good to stay fit, etc. I don't know why you would ever fall into the thinking that you needed more to be beautiful.

In my culture every women has thick dense hair...so born in this culture with thin and sparse hair always made me insecure....even today the first thing I notice about a person is their hair. But slowly I have learned to embrace every bit of my existence....❤️

This was so refreshing & meaningful 🥰 Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece of content ♥️

Nice to hear that you are from Korea, I live in Seoul, Korea. From a few days ago, I have always heard your video clips every day. I will keep in touch with your channel. thank you a lot. Have a good day.

I wish there were more people like you Sophie! Using social media not just for their own profit and selling purposes but to make people realise they are perfect as they are. ❤

Yeah, I find all of this very disturbing, sad, really one has to ask oneself what are we doing to ourselves and our children, so damaging,.....

Society pushes a standard of beauty that is unrealistic! I am so lucky to be surrounded by strong beautiful women that most times never wear a stitch of makeup or care to filter their image. Maybe that comes with living in rural Canada? Maybe it’s being in my early forties? Even still we are constantly shown in the media that we need to do more by spending on this or that product but as I grow older I’m growing wiser to this time old trick. I really empathize with girls growing up today with social media.

I wish i had learned this earlier on my teen days. But still, i am happy i am finally overcoming this “fear” to fit in with the society’s “set beauty standards”--having pearl white skin color, straight hair, long nose, just to name a few it’s really depressing knowing I’m a total opposite of all these so-called “beauty standards”

I rebel from beauty standards by liking what I look like 💕

Your videos have always resonated with me but the fact that you shared a quote from Kim Namjoon just made me love you more!!!

I know exactly how other people will make you insecurities, the problem is that they love me and they wanted me to be perfect. I didn't want to be perfect before that point and I don't need to be perfect it's impossible to be. now I have my daughter to make sure this won't happen to them. Thank you for sharing this video ❤

Social media is horrible. All the Instagram influencers use lots of filters and all celebrities/models use photoshop and have gotten a lot of work done on their face / body and don’t want to admit to it. Most models/ celebrities/ social media influencers know that there is no such thing as the perfect body and face . Even they don’t have the perfect face or body however they want to sell you their products that don’t even work! We need to stop judging people by the way they look and value people’s personality, their intelligence and how kind they are to others and to themselves. I always felt that people that live a standard of life that is unrealistic they must be so hard on themselves and if you continuously are hard on yourself then how are you kind to yourself. If aren’t kind to yourself then you can’t be kind to others because you will always judge others if they don’t meet your unrealistic standards.

Thank you for this inspiring message. You’re a beautiful person both inside and out!

Thank you Sophie! I was just talking about this with a friend last weekend on how much pressure beauty standards puts on women, always expecting us to look beautiful by purchasing their products. I gave up with putting on make up. I wasted so much money on products that didn't really work. I decided to accept and love myself the way I look, and my skin looks better! 🤗 Love your videos! 🙅🏽‍♀️💝Thank you for all the work and wisdom you put into them!

I'm also Korean, and I had so many experiences where people would make comments about my appearance. one time I was taking a vocal lesson and my coach told me that I should lose weight. I was absolutely baffled at how someone could tell me what to do with my own body while I was completely happy with it and didn't feel the need to change its shape. what's funnier is that one day she would tell me that my hands were so pale and that she was jealous. she sounded like she was so desperate to have pale skin, yet her skin tone was nowhere near as dark. Even if it was, I don't see a single reason to try to lighten it. the main reason that I think this whole narrow beauty standard is so toxic is that if everybody fits the mold of what is considered beautiful, they would all look the same. we're not clones. we are beautiful individuals that have our own beauty in us.

Kim Nam Joon was current in his words. We live in a very judgement world 🌎😕 Sophie another inspiring video. Wish you blessings 🙌 peace ✌and light 🙏✨ Have a wonderful week 🙏❤

You're drop-dead gorgeous! You're right about everything, big companies through social media try to make women unhappy with their bodies to make them consume more! The thing is: why don't they try more to do the same to men?? Men also have unrealistic expectations and seem to feel entitled to "demand" many things, while women almost never put pressure on men's appearances.

What's interesting about Asian beauty standards (in general) is that most of those "standards" are human made. Meaning, creams, excessive cover from the sun, etc. My wife is Chinese and I am very familiar with the issues you've discussed.

Greetings from Greece sweetheart! I love your aesthetic,your opinions and your calmness!

This is exactly why I don't wear makeup much at all. Society calls me a tomboy and I get labeled as not being so girly when I am in fact girly and feminine. It's sick when you think about it as if makeup makes you feminine 🙄.

I agree! And my mom was right… being beautiful on the inside makes you beautiful on the outside. The more kinder and good I am to others, the more my flaws are not even noticed. But if you talk to a mean beautiful person for a while, they are no longer beautiful.

I'm 18..when I was younger people would compare me to my sister who "in their eyes" more more beautiful than me, I remember that everyone would ignore me in every family gather and talk to her gently, I grew up hating every single detail about myself, I remeber when I was only 7.. I was using creams to make my skin look flawless and to make myself beautiful for them!!.. Today I suffer from depression and find difficulty in going out with my sister..the world is tough

Every girl and woman should see this video!! ❤️

If we keep on renewing our minds as much as we apply products on our skin, we'd be way happier and less bothered by the world...

Wow, Sophie. You did it again. Thank you for this encouraging message. Love you.

this hits close to my heart. thank you for the video and kind words, Sophie!

LA is a house of culture code mirrors hosting everything but your own reflection. Fortunately found my way out during quarantine. Hollywood’s worst nightmare. We were never meant to see ourself. Good luck to all on this journey. Your true reflection only exists within.

I just cannot stop myself from saying you...that girl you are literally spreading Islamic points regarding women's beauty . so nice to hear this things. Keep it up.

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!! I feel this type of videos are so helpful for the younger audience, since it's easier to manipulate younger minds..but when they will hear you..pause think about and YES!! they can relate.I recommend your channel to my younger neighbor and gave me such a JOY when she run over and told me isn't that the TRUTH I will embrace who Iam and not what other companies want me to be so they can make a PROFIT She laugh and said my beast friend COCONUT OIL.I use it for everything and LAUGH as I was saying Iam with you Kid..

Thank you for these valuable ideas, we are living in the greed-driven society that creates faults and problems, they profit from our unhappiness, and for those who due prematurely from depression or some other condition, these greedy advertisers keep targeting the most vulnerable in society. They’re robbing the cradle! Push back, say no! And by the way, you are beautiful!

It's such a relief that there are people who feel the same. Thank you for this. We are thankful for you taking the time to be transparent and make a video that truly touches our hearts.

Beautiful means real and authentic. Nature is beautiful. Natural is beautiful. Of course we have to take care of ourselves and we will bring out our natural beauty. Good for you, i like your videos and the messages you pass.

Omg omg you tras my thoughts. THIS EVENING, I was just thinking the same. These unrealistic beauty standards made me THROW MY MONEY OUT THE WINDOW. And this thought came to my mind after I saw Kylie Jenners new birthday collection(just an example but I guess I’ll just have to unfollow). And I was simply thinking “but why would someone buy a 25€ LIP BALM when you could get one that has exactly the same benefits, but for 4€”. Anyway, as usual you speak right to my heart and soul! Forever grateful that I found your channel. Thank you.

First of all you are SO beautiful, in and out.. thank you for such an inspiring message. I love your channel, you are a great influencer talking about real things, and what really matters.. having a healthy and mindful life.

Sophie, I’m also Korean and know all too well about the unfiltered comments that family members make. I’m sure it’s had a huge impact on how I view myself, but I also look on the flip side - I have such thick skin because of it! Family can be so toxic at times… unfortunately it’s just a cultural thing across many different Asian countries. Great topic ❤️

I just want to say thank you for uploading this. I hope we all can find peace within ourselves than conforming to the trends that society wants us to be.

This is such a wonderful message. The only counter point I would add is that if there is a plastic surgery or mainly “cosmetic” procedure that would improve function or comfort for you and you have the financial ability to do it, I am telling you DO IT. We have the technology to improve your quality of life and you deserve, you deserve to never be ashamed of helping your body. I got LASIK as well as lip injections to prevent my chronic and extremely painful angular cheilitis (a rash at the corners of the mouth) and I also need several nose surgeries for my safety because I also have severe asthma. All of these procedures conform to the beauty standard, which is admittedly a bonus, but the ability to see and the freedom from the painful rashes has given me so much mental space and peace. It’s crazy that something I worried about constantly and was suffering from daily is just gone with a few needle pokes, I saw my topical ointment in my purse the other day and almost cried because I realized I hadn’t even thought about it in two months since I got the lip injections, and my lips don’t even look that much different. I’ve thought about backing out of the nose job, even though my family would do everything they could to get me to go through with it because of the risk if I don’t. But I was laying in bed last night with the feeling like I have 20 pounds of wet cement in my face because my nose was particularly inflamed inside and I know that I am going to get better quality sleep, and have fewer asthma attacks, and I trust the surgeon to give me a nose that fits my face well so I’m calling my doctor today and I’m going to try and set a date. If it stops you from living your best life and you have the opportunity to fix it, you should. I’m going to treat myself when I’m healed by taking singing lessons, which is one thing I love doing that my nose makes incredibly difficult. If it helps you do more of what you love or experience less pain you will not regret getting plastic surgery. Someone literally took me from legally blind on my license to beyond 20/20 vision and I am so appreciative. It sucks that my nose is so horrible but I’m just focusing on how grateful I’m going to be even for little things I don’t get to experience now like breezing through a morning run or smelling all the nuanced scents as I bake cookies. It’s going to be GOOD. The beauty and cosmetic industry can be really scary and degrading and crooked but if you need something done don’t be ashamed of getting it.

I just look at you and see perfection, flawed perfection. I deleted all social media, besides YT of course and it's been liberating.

There's always something that isn't perfect on us or that we don't have. It's impossible and too much work and maintenance and money to look perfect. It's exhausting. It's not only our looks but wearing the right clothes and makeup too.

Thank you for this!!! Growing up, I've always struggled with accepting myself for who I am and how I look. Only recently have I begun to appreciate myself and not compare myself to other girls!!

Every word you spoke was literally so true. I'm glad I watched this video.

Agree...be yourself... embrace your originality....

It’s weird that someone so naturally beautiful like you doubt herself you already have a romantic warm look ... i wish you happiness

My sentiment since highschool, I always thought how people consider someone beautiful. I believe everyone has their own beauty, we just used to listen to people's comment, that's why we thought we're not beautiful. I always received comments like, i am not pretty and my walk is so ugly, but I don't care... That's why i love watching your videos, because you always remind us to be ourselves, to do what we love and to relax our mind....

I really appreciate your perspective on this. It can be so tough sometimes, especially with social media. But I am learning to accept my body, understand that aging is a natural process…we are part of nature. Aging is just living. And like you said, I am also just so grateful to be healthy and happy!

This is a really lovely video Sophie. It's a really poignant look at how even the most naturally beautiful people like yourself are pressured to conform to the ever changing beauty standards of the media. I'm a professional portrait photographer and I'm always blown away by the amount of insecurities that people share with me while in front of the camera. Everyone is taught to judge themselves so harshly, and all the things they're nervous about are things that I would never have noticed about them because instead I see their beautiful smiles, laughs, the way the move, and their energy. The quote you shared is so true 'no one is born ugly'. Thank you.

This video is like a big hug, i needed it.

Beauty Industrie dont want us to feel happy or pretty, only when buy the "ultimative" product XY...recommended from a very well trained sales person, we get an "oh, this makes you pretty and you are so lucky because I have sales discount for you" and we buy the product.....this is marketing. Needless to say that the product is as good/as bad as the others. Happend to me not long, purchased a very very expesive makeup. Well, lesson learned....Dont trust sales personal and keep confident!!! Great Video 😍

Social media paints this unrealistic picture and places pressure as well on how we should look. I’m glad you had the courage to share this video!

Happy and healthy should be the beauty standard, well said ! Thank you for sharing this expce !

Just the fact that the comments you made to yourself during the intro are the exact words I have been repeating to myself for a very long time.. Thank you for making this video

Sophie I love your channel! You’re an inspiration! I have purged 5 times and recently, so now I am more aware of not wasting my money. Now I will concentrate on my food and eat even more healthier. Thankyou Sophie!❤️

You fit into my perspective of beauty because you are kind

honestly when i was in my elem & highschool days i always thought I'm pretty, like everyone was pretty to me, I'm contented what i had physically and was confident, but when my friends (sad to say) told me about my differences in my appearance i started to compare myself with other people and noticing what i dislike in my body, faces and everything, my confidence really drop from 100% to 0%. but now I'm trying to change that negative mindset of mine and accepting everything within myself little by little😊

I appreciate you. Please continue to advocate and give awareness to our viewers the true important of beauty is not how you looks in the society. I hope people appreciate their own skin and imperfection.Life is not about how you look like but how you inspire people to trust them selves.

Hi, Sophie. Love this images 6:37 , 7:30 , so peaceful and beautiful. I really like your vanity !

Hi! I’ve been subscribed to your channel for awhile but have just started watching your videos more. I’m adopted from China and thoroughly relate to your general comments about unrealistic beauty standards, but specifically appreciated your discussion of Asian culture on our mindsets and self-perception, even if I have grown up in a mostly non-Asian community.

Firstly....you are absolutely stunning & your inner beauty also shines through. Secondly, your message is both powerful and truthful and needs to be seen by as many people as possible. 💕💯💕.

Everything about you is so gorgeous. What a beautiful message ❤️

When I first saw you I thought Oh she s sooo gorgeous! I love asian features and unique beauty. Every part of the world is beautiful and their people are beautiful. We are all unique and have beauty that doesnt need to be modified. 💕😊

You are absolutely gorgeous. I completely understand feeling bad about the way you look since i severely struggle with this.

You made a very precious video, thank you! This is what our society needs, especially young girls. ❤ When I was a teenager, I felt very insecure about my tooth gap. It was horrible. Later I realized that it's a part of me and my body and that it makes my person unique. I'm happy that I don't care about it anymore.