[Vinesauce] Vinny - Awful Pizza Review #1 

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Tags: mindbreak, pizza, comedy_pizza, italian

i love how the Brazilian dude just stabs the shit out of the pizza with a drywall mudding knife to cut the slices

Vinny was OFFENDED this whole video. I've never seen him this upset over anything

We went from "Come to Brazil" to "Brazilians...contact me."

Vinny shows literal pizza gore for 36 minutes and chat just whines about olives.

Brazilian here. 10:51 Yes Vinny. They are, they are quail eggs. Why? Just... because they can... The creamy white stuff is called 'Catupiry', is a type of "cream cheese", but more processed and soft. I don't know, it's tasty but people just go crazy with it. Sometimes, as seen here, it's too much. All of those crazy Brazilian pizzas are from a specific pizzeria called "BatePapo" (ChitChat Pizzeria, in a loose translation) that wanted to drawn more clients and just started to create hell on earth. If we can call it comedy pizza, well, it better tell good jokes, because now I'm depressed.

I love showing that Brazilian pizza video to people because I feel like there's always more to notice. The torn dough, the complete lack of effort to spread the sauce around, the three olive garnish carelessly thrown on at the end, the fact that it's literally trash-fired pizza, the guy chopping it into slices with a putty knife, the toppings/ingredients that are unidentifiable to outsiders. It's amazing from start to finish.

The Korean pizza bit had me in tears. 30:16 sounds like something out of Ren and Stimpy

he sounds so stressed most of this VOD its hilarious

I used to think my pizza was a tragedy pizza... But now I realize it was a comedy pizza

*Vinny at the start* "Okay, gather around young vines we're going to talk about pizza." *Vinny by the end* "Why are we still here... just to Crust stuffer?"

That third olive that fell within the gap of slices is poetic

This looks like an alternate dimension in where Brazilians were the first to invent pizza instead of Italians.

To me, Vinny saying, "Brazilians, get in touch...why?" is the funniest thing I've ever heard him say🤣🤣🤣

23:20 My girlfriend has been (and still is) an assistant manager at a Pizza Hut for over six years now, and she HATES making the specialty pizzas they come up with. Not only do they look bad, they take a ton of time to make and are tedious.

His visceral reaction when the Korean pizza guy tipped the canned corn on it was… *chef’s kiss* delicious

12:17 You can really hear Vinny's subdued rage when he says "we're putting jars on pizza now."

Some of these pizzas looks ai-generated. Or at least cooked while following ai-generated recepie.

You can hear Vinny’s soul leaving his body after he says “peepzza”

"OH, canned vegetab- BLAUFHDHD" THAT MADE MY. DAMN. DAY.

I've heard addng corn and hot dogs to something is other countries to make it "American" style. Other countries think we eat hot dogs way more then we typically do

he just sounds traumatised at the end after 30 minutes of 'pizza' torture

Re: that Korean pizza. After the Korean war there was food scarcity, and a lot of dishes were created using surplus food from army bases like hotdogs and canned corn etc, and some of those dishes became a permanent part of the food culture. That being said, I’m not Korean and I have no fucking clue how much of that pizza bit was a joke. I hope it was.

Vinny almost legit dying at the Korean pizza almost killed me

me: it can't be that bad- vinny: *shows the most nightmarish pizzas in existence* me: oh

To all my fellow Brazillians in these comments, just know that everyone appreciates your extensive damage control. Last thing we need is people thinking all our pizzas are H.P Lovecraft eldritch horrors

17:30 Full 4 second pause. "Why are we doing this?" As haggard and exhausted sounding as possible. That absolutely slayed me.

Vinny to multiple countries: " *turn your location on I just wanna talk* "

I didn't know "Pizza Music" was a catagory

There was NO hesitation for adding the veg on the authentic Korean pizza. Fucker made me cry from laughing.

this whole vinny and joel pizza italian showdown is really funny especially because vinny has no idea that joel likes bananas on pizza. joel said it back in one of his real old earthbound streams and im not sure if he was being ironic but usually you can tell when he is. i think he need an intervention

18:54 You may live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension…

This is the most I've laughed at anything in a long time, hearing Vinny get steadily more indignant and seeing the increasingly stupider Pizza just killed me.

"You can call it a pizza. I'd call it a travesty" This reminds me of when I went to a local hipster pizzeria. There was no option to have a regular pineapple pizza, but you could get one with weed and CBD oil on it and the menu seemed to imply it's the best thing ever. The staff all looked like they spent 15 years in jail. The menu also had the option to order extra sauce, priced at 300PLN (roughly $75) - which I assume was a misprint, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was the actual asking price.

12:58 Vinny managed to phase out that the cake looked a lot like the one from Portal.

"You cannot eat the tire" I'm glad that Venus Soz told me this otherwise I might have tried

Binyot cannot mentally handle the creation of Brazilian pizza

Brazilians in the comments explaining things are my heroes

5:00 as a person that spent 3 years tossing and cooking pizza, this guy is just awful LOL.

It warms my heart to see all the brazilians informing Vinny on what our pizza is actually like; but I can't help but wonder where are the koreans to contextualize what korean pizza is actually like.

'No pizza, left beef' is the best pizza

That Korean pizza brought back some memories. When I was stationed in South Korea, I went out with some squadmates and we got a pizza at one of the local restaurants. The sauce tasted like ketchup. It had kernels of corn on it. I think there may have been mayo drizzled on it, but it's been so long that my memory's fuzzy. The Korean pizza in this video was like a caricature of that, with elements of truth but highly exaggerated. Also, just gonna put this out there, but fruit on pizza can work if done right. I once had a pizza with mango and prawns, and it was fucking delicious.

"Comedy Pizza" If the pizza was ON THE TIRE, that would be the standard serving method in a hipster gastro-lounge

29:32 vinnys inner Italian came out for a second here

This town is full of monsters. How can you sit here and eat pizza?

10:49 the only pizza BY bodyguards, FOR bodyguards! It's got crow's eggs, so you know it's good!

Vinny explains pizza: "You cannot eat the tire."

Hey, greetings from Brazil. The few ones you showed are considered abominations by most of us, even here. And most of the image ones are from bate-papo, a restaurant that makes it a point to deliver whatever people bring as a topping if they request it so. The kind of pizza that is shown in the video that you mentioned is famous is somewhat more common than what bate-papo offers but still falls into the very-low-quality side, so while I'm saying that those are not the 'average brazilian pizzas', there definitely are others similar to the tragedy depicted in the video that can be found here and there. In regards to the cream/white-sauce that is widely used on the images and in the video. You can think of it as a sort of cream-cheese, like philadelphia, maybe that would be the closest to it while not quite being 'it'. It's a product known as 'Catupiry' here because that was the name of best brand of said cream in the markets, and it was very popular for a long time. 'Catupiry' is good and *can* fit well with some toppings on pizza to give it a nice flair/flavor if you use just a little bit, like some selected spots or thin lines here and there. Sadly, it gets overused(as in too much of it in the topping) in a lot of places. Not only that, a lot of restaurants use cheap knock-offs of the product and advertise it as 'catupiry'. This is pretty common, and you can see/taste the low-quality cream-cheese being used in pretty much most places, said quality being low enough to not even qualify as the same kind of product. As for the green olives, a lot of friends and family like these or don't mind them at all, people just grew used to these around here, I guess... Be it in pizza or some other meals. I personally dislike them and can't eat olives no matter what, I've tried a few times with different meals and even the olives by themselves, it's just not for me, so I can't really say I understand why so many places like to use them. Edit: it seems some other people already typed this, I hadn't scrolled enough before commenting to read anything else. I should have guessed since the video has been up for a few hours, but I'm gonna leave it here for anyone who doesn't mind a long read or wants to ask further questions on the subject of cursed pizza or cursed meals in general that we have here.

A lot of this was gross/weird but it was so funny to see Vinny so emotional when in the beginning he was playing it cool.

That Korean pizza was straight up struggle food

Q&A from local huehueland inhabitant: "Mystery cream" - Thats a cream cheese from a local brand called "Catupiry". Has a soft texture and isnt too salty, so its used a lot for cooking. 10:46 "Are these quail eggs" - Yes, these are quail eggs. "Why the olives?" - I honestly have no idea. We put olives on pizza since forever. "Why the eggs?" - Lots of pizza use boiled eggs around here. Its good. "Why the dessert pizza" - We love dessert pizza around here. People always think you NEED tomato sauce and cheese to make a pizza, we say "No" and put chocolate for sauce, bananas, strawberries and MMs for toppings. 11:47 "What is this thing?" - Thats a Jackfruit. I personally dont like it, but it has a strong, sweet taste and meaty texture, I heard its used as meat replacement on vegan recipes. Its an invasive species in some parts of Brazil. 12:42 "Is that a muffin?" - Thats a chocolate coated panettone. 12:52 "I dont know that is that thing in the middle" - Trakinas, a local brand of cookie sandwiches. Chocolate with strawberry cream. 14:04 "Are they in a pumpkin? HUERGH" - Its based on a popular dish called "Camarão na Moranga", which is a creamy shrimp stew served inside a pumpkin. 15:30 "The fuck is that" - Its a milk box from a local brand (Parmalat) and a container of chocolate milk mix (Toddy).

I like how Vinny starts out by saying he'll post some examples of actual good pizza places at the end of the video, then his brain gets so broken he completely forgets. But seriously, I grew up near Pepe's pizzeria in CT and I'm just as mortified and depressed by these travesties as he is.

That Pizza Hutt add is actually better than like, 80% of the other stuff here. Like I could actually see myself eating that if it were at a party or something. Not sure if that's sad or just a sign of how horrible the bottom of the barrel really is.

There were some weird, terrible and funny ones on here but the "roadkill pizza" and the "centipizza" (that one looks less intentional and more some unsanitary place just caught a centipede in the bottom dough and cooked it because "fuck it" and "fuuuck youuu") caused me to go dorceless, and even caused my gag reflex to turn dorceless too.

I love how the frantic Italian music sounds like terrified screaming.

18:59 That looks almost exactly like the hair I've pulled out of my mother's shower drain after it had been marinating in built up soap slop for five years

As a Brazilian I can confirm that I have eaten a cessar salad pizza once, an other strange pizzas

i want to rip my eyes out and put them on a pizza. also, whoever it was in chat who called the candy corn pizza at 27:50 "HOMESTUCK PIZZA", youre my hero

As a fellow Italian, the salsa in my veins is boiling

The pizza al 27:22 is something you could find in Italy, the option to add fries on pizzas is common enough, and the right side is just a ham and mushroom pizza ("prosciutto e funghi") which is quite popular, adding hard boiled eggs isn't unheard of either. However combining the two is a bit strange, so I bet it was ordered by an eccentric customer and it isn't something that's normally on the menu.

As a brazillian, i must say this for the good of the image of Brazil and brazillian people, most of us don't know what the fuck are these either Also that creamyness you're curious about is Catupiry, a type of Requeijão which is a type of ricotta-like creamy cheese, it's tastes pretty good And i swear we have normal pizza here, some of it, you can taste it ITS GOOD pls believe me

12:51 Those are cookies, Vinny. They literally put cookies on the middle of the pizza.

"Whaddya do, pick the food off? Just put it on a plate!" Little does he know pizza was invented to be an edible plate.

I need a First We Feast style vlog series where Vin goes around NYC trying various cursed pizzas

There's no way you see that white tile wall and don't think about Brazil

The vinsound at 14:04 got me rolling lmao

11:08 I'm not brazilian but i'm from Paraguay, as people already pointed out in the comments, the creamy stuff is called catupiry and is originated in Brazil. In Paraguay we have that stuff too, there's a copule of local pizza places here that has catupiry pizza in their menu. It's delicious tho, at least for me, although idk what that guy was thinking that's way too much catupiry (of course, ignoring the fucking bananas in the middle of the pizza). And here's the funny thing, doing a little bit of research, apparently the catupiry was created by an Italian immigrant, so there's the italian authenticity.

31:00 *Man made this!* This phrase is not a corruption of "I made this by hand!" It is a corruption of "Do you think God stays in Heaven because he, too, is afraid of what he has created?"

I absolutely needed this hearty dose of laughter today. Vinny getting triggered over cursed pizzas lifted my spirits. I hope he rewarded himself with a non-cursed pizza to emotionally recover from this.

Things pizzas have: - At least 2 of these: Bread, Cheese, Sauce - All Elements have to be edible - You HAVE to be able to pick up a slice using your hands without removing elements - It cannot exceed a height of 5 Feet tall Those are the 4 things I say a pizza needs to qualify as a pizza. Deluxe pizzas share those elements but: - Are Made by Italians - Are officially approved by the TPS

7:05 "Carve up that Slop" is highly underrated.

16:07 I’d love a slice of cross-contamination pizza!

brazilian here, I'll try to answer some of your questions: - the comedy pizza: they are literally made for the memes. the first pizza (the corn-filled one) is actually a regular pizza (and believe it, it looks weird but tastes awesome), but the ones with weird shit in the middle and a thousand mixed flavours are literally made for the memes. the restaurant shown in the beginning of the compilation video is called "pizzaria batepapo" and they made these atrocities to get some internet fame - the "creamy-ness": it's literal cheese. well, a kind of cheese called "catupiry". it's pretty famous and tastes decently. probably a bit too fast-food-y. if you go to a fancy pizza place, they'll serve real expensive cheese, but catupiry is alright for cheap regular brazilian pizza. note: catupiry is actually the name of a brand and cheap regular restaurants actually use a knockoff. - why only a few olives?: it's just for decoration. for some godforsaken reason most brazilian pizzas are decorated with a few olives, even the expensive "totally italian" ones

Vinny's commentary over Mestre da pizza is exactly what I needed today.

"Italian-Newyorker Gordon Ramsay rates your pizzas for 36 minutes and 7 seconds."

30:23 this is the most distress I've ever heard a human being in

12:45 Those in the middle are chocolate cookies with strawberry filling (the same ones in the background); note the brocolli in the middle too! Also, the lack of olives is pretty common in brazilian pizzas, and its as bad as Vinny makes it up

When I saw the title last night I thought it was going to be a serious pizza review. I was falling asleep but after a few minutes in, I woke the *F* Up because I was bursting out in laughter. I hope Vinny does more of these, I'd love to send him some non-joke pizzas that are totally real.

17:40 THIS PIZZA HAS ITS OWN SOLAR SYSTEM

14:18 Hank Hill pizza dream

I WAS HOPING VINNY WOULD POST THE PIZZA THAT HAD A LIVE CHICKEN STANDING ON IT YES

Hello vinevinesauce, Im brazillian im here to explain you the things. First of all, those are all fucking jokes, they were probably made by some godknows pizzaria as an ephemeral attempt at fame by disgracing a common pizza, as far as i know at least ( I do humor them tho). The cream can possibly be catupiry cheese, its very common in brazil to use catupiry as a partner to chicken. At 11:55, thats a jackfruit, also known as "Jaca" At 12:17 those are little chocolate doodads know as bomboms, theyre made out of some nut stuff dipped in chocolate, very common in my land. At 12:42, thats a panettone, very common in christmas, i dont know what its made out of i dont like them. At 12:50, those are Trakinas, a common "cookie", as your people would call it, one could compare it to Oreos, its sold basically everywhere and few are the ones who dislike them, we call those who dislike them Birinildos. At 13:56, thats twice the average wage in money, very funny. At 14:39 thats a very common household item in brazil, its called a Silviosantson, its mostly used to ward-off evil spirits. At 19:04, holy shit. Fun fact! We dont use Pepperoni here, its very rare, mostly you'd see it in fast food stuff, but the "pepperoni pizza" in brazil is actually the Calabresa Pizza, it banks less on the hotness from the spices for a more smoked flavor, very good with cheddar. (Do take all of this with a grain of salt, as im from the south, the 5 main brazillian areas tend to hate each other.)

Brazilian here, at 11:41, I think that's a Jaca. It's a fruit that grows on trees and can weight up to 15kg. Sometimes people die from getting hit in the head by a Jaca. The orange substance is cheddar cheese. 12:43 that's a chocolate pannetone. 12:47 those are cheap chocolate and strawberry cookies, Trakinas. 15:30 milk + chocolate powder, a common mix that children drink here I'm actually dissapointed that the Brazilian pizza compilation didn't include the rice + beans + farofa + fried potatoes pizza. Also, aside from the comedy pizzas that Bate-papo makes, here in Brazil we have sweet pizzas, such as condensed milk pizza, banana and cinnamon pizza, chocolate and strawberry pizza and others.

15:54 even he looks uncomfortable with his own creation

After seeing these, I feel a lot less bad about the common pizza here in Denmark which is just unspiced ground beef, chemical shredded cheese and cocktail sausages.

The pizza hut hot dog crust pizza abomination is absolutely the best random promo pizza they've ever done and I'm willing to fight anyone that says otherwise. The little Ceasars pretzel pizza slaps, too.

If vinny doesn't do more of this I'm gonna cry, this is the hardest I've laughed in months.

The reaction to the corn on Korean pizza is straight up genuine retching

Don't tip the delivery boy.

is very funny to see vinny very angry with the guy making pizza in Brazil (the name of this pizza is frango-catupiri) i would like to know what his reaction would be to find out that this type of pizza is the most popular in brazil and that pizzas in brazil would be considered war crimes. there is the potato and fries pizza no joke

Italian here. This 36 minute showcase makes my spine shiver. Mamma mia, i can hear my mother sensing disgust from a mile away.

one of vinny's best streams. please do more of vinny just reacting to things in disgust

They just give pizza making license to anybody these days huh

Norwegian Streamer triggers Boston Streamer

Thank you Vinny for making this and fullsauce John for the upload. This is amazing.

I'm Brazilian and I must say that as an enjoyer that have experiment a huge assortment of diverse pizzas in a different establishments through my country, I have to say that I never ever seen such atrocities reach my eyeballs and neither have I heard anyone talk about those, at least in a positive way, so don't take these as standards for what the quality may be here. Some may definitely go over the top on toppings and just make what I call an erupted calzone like one of first examples in there but I'm lucky that I haven't ran in too many of those and as a quick note, the "mysterious cream" is called catupiry as other fellow commenter members have mentioned.

36 minuti di puro dolore. Anche se sono in una regione diversa, posso sentire da qui tutte le nonne della campania rantolare

the "cupcake" was a whole panettone. considering the "fuck you" energy of a lot of these, i believe the cheese and meat on top of the bowl was a brick of gouda and a small shank of Iberico ham. (the warm sushi one makes me want to vomit, holy shit) i believe one of the "gourds" was a beefsteak tomato, too.

12:55 I like how vinny totally glosses over the fact that the cake from portal is in the middle of the pizza.