But you are enough like listen man I’m here for ya if you need someone to talk to you I’m just a message away and same thing for the RU-vidr of this video and for anybody who might see this comment
listen I was ugly growing up and felt the same way. Don't worry about it or think about it. Alot of men don't hit their prime until they are in their 30s anyway and that is normal. Who cares what others think. Focus on enjoying your life and being happy and feeling good. Because it is the most logical and selfish thing you can do. You can choose to be happy, you just have to be strong enough to do so. When you get older if you put the work in that will all change and before you know it women will throw themselves at you without you even trying. If you focus on how bad your life is it will only make you feel horrible. You have to focus on changing your internal world and subconscious and what thoughts you constantly put in your head, what you focus on. You can change your reality slowly but surely in time but it starts from within first. At the very least you will start to feel better and good about your life even if it doesn't match objectively on the outside at first.
As a female this is a real thing. I am 71 years old and it's been a factor my whole life. Prettiness is equated with goodness, and not-prettiness is equated with badness and low quality. So we, the unattractive, have an extra handicap on the playing field. No boyfriends, no dates, and it hurts. You try to tell yourself not to be shallow but that doesn't really help either. Crooked Lady, I do have to mention here, you are prettier than I ever was and you have great hair and are not fat. Best wishes to you and you are not alone.
Oh i really want to know as you stated that u're 71. If you constantly felt like you're unattractive, no one would want to date you (?) I think about this constantly. I'm 19 and no one ever confessed to me or asked me on a date. Being made fun of my appearance in school left me with huge insecurities. So i wanna know, did anyone asked you on a date? I just wanted to know can anyone else find us attractive?🥲
@@Poddle_eI'll turn 19 this year. I've had two boyfriends in my life. The first one was an in love kind of relationship. Then he ghosted me suddenly. He left me with so many insecurities. Was I not enough? Am I ugly? Am I too fat? Am I repulsive? Am I annoying? The second one dumped me. I was left so confused. The funny part is that they initiated the relationships. They confess to me. But they leave me in the end. I feel downright ugly, it's laughable.
@@skhulilengema4094 omg:( I am so sorry. Oh and now I remembered the time when I commented this. Ok so if they initiated the thing then you would be attractive to them right? And I've learnt this thing in these past days: no one is ugly istg. And you're not ugly!!!! And ykw even if you're one of those girls whom everyone thinks is so pretty, if she doesn't accept herself being pretty, it's the same tragedy. It's all in our head! Just look yourself in the mirror and think about all the attractiveness you find about yourself. It's not about looking and stuff(ik it's so fkin hard) it's how we feel. If you feel pretty girl i tell you it's over the world typa feeling. Ik not all days are same. Some days you'll feel horrible about yourself but just try to feel good about yourself. FK all
22F for context I’ve STRUGGLED with BDD (face specifically) for literally 7ish years, and I’m just now starting to get better with the right help. You and I are very self aware and judgmental of our looks and others. The good thing is, most people don’t think like this, they don’t pay attention to it like that. You are not what you look like, but who you are as a person. Objectively speaking, you are not ugly and you could definitely be someone’s pretty girlfriend. Confidence is one of the main factors to attracting people. Less people will be inclined to talk to you if you look closed off or anxious/depressed. One thing that really helped me too was deleting social media!! Nothing you see on there is real and it starts to fuck with your head. Just try it. I’m sorry you’re going through this too, it sucks
Well good for you and this girl, your bdd is based on a false perception of your faces. Its really fancy to hate your face when you are actually Nice looking. My BDD is an objective perception of my face. And here I am Wishing i was like this girl. An actual Nice looking person who had bdd (which means à Matter of time before you recognize yourself as pretty Nice looking)
@@biglupullive9317body dysmorphia. A condition in which you hate your body or your face or the two of them. You can have BDD no Matter if you are beautiful or ugly.
There is no doubt that the 5'2 balding Indian janitors would have the same amount of fame and success with women if they had Francisco Lachowski or Henry Cavill's confidence
ughhh so real 😭like when ur ugly literally nobody wants you in anything more than a friendship (if that)... and no matter how you try to change yourself you'll never be up to standard bc you just weren't made that way. Literally so real when you said "I'm just there" like nobody really pays attention to my existence either ☹. And btw, ur honestly SO gorgeous... like I wish I looked like you 😭, u literally look like Olivia Rodrigo and im NOT just being nice (I wouldn't say this to just anyone) I genuinely find you beautiful from the bottom of my heart ❤
Girl, you are beautiful!! Keep doing you, I'm going through the same thing.. I've been single for 2 years haven't gone on any dates or can't even get a guy to be interested in me and it's a horrible feeling so I understand, wanting to be in love but seems like nobody wants to get to know you, really sucks.
I feel the exact same way I don’t have BDD but I just feel like nobody looks at me and thinks of me sexually or romantically. I don’t think I’m ugly and I don’t think other people find me unattractive. I just think I’m nobody’s type l
I've had BDD since I was a toddler, I'm 25 now, 1-2 years older then you I think, since I've been 25 I've been recovering from BDD a lot, seeing your youtube videos is crazy, like hearing myself talk, all the words you say I've literally said myself, finding your channel was really trippy for me. it's so painful to see you go through this because you truly are pretty and you just don't know it, until your 30 looking back at these videos and you're gonna be like "how the heck did anyone ever let me think I was ugly!" and reflecting on all the years you wasted hating yourself will be so painful. I say this cuz I'm living it. You are peoples type! trust me, but you spend all day in your room and cover your face with band aids, your too shy to talk to people in real life so they think you're not interested, people are interested in you but because you're so insecure you appear very closed off. Please trust me, I know you won't cuz I've been you, but please consider it. Have you tried just some like tinted chap stick and mascara? A brand I like for sensitive skin is ilia. try going out more, to concerts, raves, etc, I found a lot of solace in the rave community, everyone there is a weirdo, people don't try to be "normal" everyone and anyone is fully accepted with open arms.
Uhhh but shes like a 10/10 in my opinion as a dude. Did a bunch of dumb girls make fun of her and call her ugly growing up? She doesn't even need make up to look good. Shes stunning looking. She has really good genetics, a really beautiful face. She looked average in her earlier videos but she looks above average now. Listen I speak from experience. Alot of those beautiful and popular mean girls when they are young. By the time they are in their 30s are going to be ugly and lonely. Meanwhile some of the most beautiful women when they are older where average or even ugly looking when they were younger. People hit their primes at different ages. And it also comes down to taking care of yourself and not letting yourself go as you age. Don't listen to girls about beauty they don't know what the hell they are talking about. And dudes when they are young tend to be idiots and take women for granted due to being immature. She looks like someone who will grow into her beauty well as she gets older. All she is lacking is confidence. That and she seems so sad. I can see young dudes overlooking her due to being idiots, most of them are when they are young, but thats on them and not her. Whats crazy is if you take away alot of those pretty girls make up, they would actually look less good looking then you do. Besides men care things more then looks. They want women that are feminine and nurturing and kind and empathic. You already have the looks and they are only going to improve over time as you age into your prime, just maintain it and focus on maintaining your health and improving it over time. Do it for you to feel good and consider being attractive to men as an added bonus but not the main reason you do it. Just focus on becoming the kind of person you want to be. Do it for you and not someone else. Express yourself like a work of art, creative self expression and be proud of it. Who cares about fitting in. Humans are cruel and dumb especially when they are young. But as you get older you will find there are alot of good people in the world that have been where you are, you just have to find them but they do exist. All that b.s from your earlier years doesn't matter. You have decades ahead of you and when you are older you will look back with an entirely different perspective.
I agree. She doesn’t need make up (which makes most women look like clowns anyway). I like the natural and straight long hair look. No make up, no hair dos. She looks great AS IS. I don’t care what she thinks of herself.
Is everyone in your area a super model or something? I think you look good enough to attract plenty of people, but I'll take your word for it if you think you're below average maybe in your area. Its possible that your mindset is playing a huge role here, but maybe you'll yield better results by just moving to a new place where maybe you're considered somewhat exotic, that usually helps.
I’ve had acute anxiety and panic attacks due to something traumatic that happened in my life. It was a mental illness that tricked me meaning my mind was lying to me just like yours is to you. Teach your mind you’re beautiful because you are and this disorder will pass. Don’t be afraid to try different dresses and makeup ❤😊 read a book called “hope and help for your nerves” by Claire Weeks. Although it’s more for panic attacks same principles apply to your cure
just found your channel, wanted to let you know that you’re definitely not bad looking at all, dark hair and dark eyes are my personal preference, so your niche is 100% out there, keep your head up big dog
the good part is that by accepting you are ugly you can say objective things about others and not call other people who are ugly too or more ugly than you pretty. you basically become enlightened cause you see through people's bs automatically.
You are a really beautiful woman, never compare yourself to anyone, no one is perfect, don't focus on things that cannot be changed, we just have to accept them and move on, I tell you again, you really are a beautiful woman.
When I was in special ed in high school I went to prom with an autistic girl and fell in love with her it was an unreciprocated love meaning she didn't love me the same way for 9 years I loved her longed for her desired her until recently I decided I was wasting my time and I needed to move on and that's what I'm prepared to do I tried to put myself out there on Tinder and hinge and Bumble I hate dating apps that are useless especially for me being disabled no one wants a cerebral palsy guy so but CL if you'll have me I would like nothing more than to show that someone can care about you so much to the point that you start caring just as much about yourself and start seeing yourself from their eyes that you are beautiful and wonderful and loved in so many ways
The funny thing is i’m actually an average looking guy and i still get zero female attention😂 idc why though. There is literally nothing wrong with my appearance and yet girls still don’t like me
You desire many things, and thats a good thing. Just don’t forget that after you get those desires, you are not gonna want it anymore literally. Life itself is ugly. Desires keep us happy until the moment we get them. Most couples find unbearable to listen to each other except if they are eating something, drinking or smoking something together, in a way they numb themselves to be able to listen to each other. They desired each other before being a couple and now they gotta live tolerating each other using food drinks goinbf outs to cope with that relationship. The day you get the desire of being in a relationship and not having dismorphya syndrome is gonna happen one day and then you already know whats gonna happen. Most people are happier when they are by themselves alone with pets. What you see on social media is just people and couples getting their desires literally their last moment of happiness, then they gotta think about new desires. Desires keep us happy, so dont try to be happy all in day, better achieve desires little by little. Good luck 🍀.
Love yourself from the inside first and the outside will follow. As you said yourself about codependency accept and love yourself first and you will eventually encounter someone that loves you the way you are, but you must love yourself first. I had the same but what I went through are the judgments of my family that really f….. my mental state up. So I started reprogramming myself and can do it also. You are the way you are and God created you exactly the way you are. You are currently just unable to understand, which is ok. Tune into your Heart chakra and feel. You are beautiful.
I commented on a video you did about 3 years ago and I'm so sorry you still struggle with your view on your appearance. I just have to tell you, you are very attractive and have nothing to worry about. I wish you saw yourself how other people see you. You are very much more attractive than the women I see here in Ohio. I hope you feel better about yourself soon.
Complicated subject, maybe you could talk this with your friends to widen perspective? But nice to see you at neutral/happy mood (+color coordinated outfit) 👍
I know exactly where you’re coming from. I am also thin and feel like it’s the only conventionally attractive thing about me. I panicked because I’ve gained a few pounds recently. It really sucks. You may not be everyone’s type, but I’m sure you are the perfect type for some. I really like your red shirt/bandaid combo btw 😊
There’s plenty of people who aren’t everyone’s type who get into a relationship even without trying. I’m turning 30 in a couple of weeks. I’ve never been in a committed and authentic relationship, I’ve never been hit on by any guy and asked out on a date. Me asking men out has always been ending in a rejection or them trying to use me only for sex. This has happened even when I was younger. Some of us truly are invisible to the opposite gender, for some inexplicable reason. It happens.
I can relate to your thoughts about dating and feeling like no one could ever love the person behind the facade. I can relate to feeling like you don't belong anywhere, more than you could possibly know... You are physically very beautiful, no doubt. However, your ability to be honest about what you think and feel in a quite public setting is actually very attractive. This is not something I see a lot in life, but is something that would really peak my interest in someone that I was dating. The typical attractive women (looks and personality), I tend to think are boring and unrelatable, and thus I'm usually not attracted to them. I tend to be more attracted to so called "weird" (I hate the word "weird"...) women because there's often so much more depth to someone who's not like everybody else. Weird people are so much more relatable to me as I'm very weird myself. And it's much more exciting talking to someone who is truly unique. In other words, there are most likely guys out there who would consider you a very interesting person. I don't know you, but I suspect I'd be in that group of men.
I'm gonna say this in a harsh and direct way now: You look beautiful and attractive. Optically you're definitely my type. The thing that is probably making men say you're not their type is you being so insecure. This is what puts men off. You need to realize that you are very attractive and it is just the insecurity that scares away men.
its the exact opposite...men dont care or are even attracted to insecure women on the other hand...insecure men are absolutely hated by women unless they are super attractive.
Can I ask, what are the bandaids for?? Also, you’re not alone with these thoughts. I feel the same way, but I gotta say, I find you absolutely beautiful. Hopefully one day you’ll see that
I realised one thing. I really find you attractive. I find you pretty. I like your smile and your hair and your face. How authentic you are! I want you to know this. But then it crosses my mind, I was made fun for my skin, face and skinny body everyday at school. I'm in college now and my face is my biggest insecurity. I just can't take my mind of the fact how ugly I look to others while I'm speaking or eating or just existing. I really can't even imagine that nobody will even want to date me. It's so hard for me to take a compliment. So yeah when I say you're really so pretty, you would find it hard to accept. I totally understand. But really to me you're so pretty and attractive. I'm not lying, I mean it 🤍
Hey C-Lady, rly dig the new cherokee warband look. All you need is a head bandana and a feather and you got yourself my favorite cosplay. Where's the super-thanks button ?
@@nicklame2647 Thanks for replying Nick Lame. Although there are a lot loopholes in what you just said. 1st - "Petite" is not => "Small" 2nd - "Attracted" is not => "Fear" 3rd - "A lot of men" is not => "Most men" But i appreciate you taking your time to interpret it anyways
You have a lot of subs. You get a lot of likes, and a good many Dudes think your gorgeous....and you are. Attractiveness isn't always about being "pretty" or what appears to be everybody's definition of "pretty". A great many of the so called pretty women work so hard being "pretty" that they have nothing else left to offer other than just their looks or the ability to fashion themselves with the right clothes and makeup. But underneath it all, at a cellular level, they are no better than anyone else. You have a soul and you are unique, own it. You are vulnerable and have opened yourself up to the world. That's courage, and love will find you because you have this courage. We are not the 100% best we can be 100% of the time so give yourself a break. Know that others do think you are attractive, wantable, desirable. You just have to find a way to accept yourself, hard as it is. You don't fit within society? Neither do I, nor do a million other people and that's ok. Stay gold.
Hi, just found your channel and so far I can relate to a lot of the BDD videos. For what it's worth I don't agree with your self-assessment. I don't find you ugly at all you're actually really cute but I know BDD won't allow us to accept these perspectives. I think what has been helping me out is radical acceptance of how I look and remembering that others are more focused on themselves more than your "imperfections" it's hard though sometimes I am not as confident and my self esteem tanks. *sigh* this shit is a constant battle but I'm glad I found your videos!
There's a lot of overthinking going on here. I don't like to preach, but here are some things for you to think about. Identity isn't a constant. It's always changing in response to life events and who you are today will seem incredibly foreign to the you ten years from now. There is no such thing as blind love. It's a myth, a harmful one at that, because there is no way to "love someone for their inside," and having that unrealistic expectation is a sure way to a lifetime of misery. We love people relationally: how they make us feel, how we grow together, how we look in their eyes and how they look in ours. Trying to fight against your own psychology is a doomed effort. I'm not suggesting that you take everything in your mind as immutable, but that there are some very primitive, inaccessible parts of the mind that are effectively unchanging, judging people based on limited information being one of them. You are still young, so don't be so hard on yourself. It's good that you are thinking through these things on your own and I don't mean to come in and overthrow your ideas, but you should at least try to look past some of your unchallenged assumptions and ask deeper questions. Best wishes to you.
Truly falling in Love means falling in Love with the Heart and Soul. Most People just fall in Love with the Body. Only the viewer are able to see beyond this Body. And I see in you Warmth, Heart, Passion and Joy but it’s just covered. Your Moment will come just start to Love every Inch a Cell of your Body.
Are you a part of a group who deal with BDD? If not, doing that may be beneficial. Life is too short. Enjoy what life has to offer you. Time passes by so fast, one day you will wish you had. The world is made for the young whether we like it or not. Your time and youth is now. Go out and make the most of it. Learn everything you can and enjoy all Mother Earth has to offer safely and within reason 😉
I'm supposed supposed to be cooking my dinner but I cannot stop watching your gorgeous face. If I was a young man I would perfect you to the end of the earth. This is so hard to believe. I hope you find a young man who really has a good heart and s good enough for you❤️.
You are literally my type, I find you extremely pretty and I would date you if I could (I love your long dark hair and I think you have a beautiful face). So yeah you definitely are somebody's type, and I suspect many men other than myself would tell you the same thing. As someone with OCD myself I understand it is sometimes very hard to see the truth through all the horrible thoughts one may have, so please stop torturing yourself with this idea because you are a very beautiful girl and you are someone's type, I hope you can realize this and someday find a loving relationship. I hope this helps.
Her comments are full of this and she would have 99% matchrate on Tinder. You have 0% chance as a man with her. When women say they can't find anyone what they mean is they can't find a 6'4ft male model Chad with a prestigious job.
I'd re-think giving any time to the fantasy that physical attraction doesn't play a part in looking for a romantic interest. It obviously does for almost everyone if they are being honest with themselves. I've always raised an eyebrow with scepticism at anyone who states they are only into someone for their "personality", I just don't believe that is ever true. You're already introspecting about this stuff, which is more than most mindless girls do on the internet, just don't over obsess about it either. Although it's clear you obviously have some dysmorphia at play if you think physical looks is your problem here.
Great video. There's a short in RU-vid by an artist named Jack Stauber named OPAL which I think will resonate a lot with you. It's about a girl who just wants to be seen by the people around her and reminded me a lot of this video
You need to get some self confidence. You're not ugly, actually very pretty. You should stop worrying about how you present yourself so much. Just find out what your passions are (outside of what people think about you) and do what makes you happy. People who are worth being around will notice you. Probably when you least expect it. Ditch the social media. There is no 'fit in' that is all in your head. Stop judging yourself and just go out and do what makes you happy. The rest will fall in place.
ik this probably won't mean anything but this girl is genuinely conventional looking. idk if its cuz she changed her hairstyle or what but she's above average, and this is without makeup lol
Don't listen to people who want to say your ugly, I'll tell you straight up you would not have any problem getting a boyfriend, in fact your very pretty don't ever think your not
You know what I have encountered when I started to think about myself if I am ugly or not, when I look in the mirror under bad lights I look like the worst looking guy in the world and when I am in the broad daylight I kinda look "okay"ish so you never know basically how you look like, my mind is tricking myself and I don't believe that so It is going to stay a mystery for me. I might be the worst looking guy in the world , average, or the best looking guy in the world... who knows. There are some many people who might think you are the cutest ever, and there might be so many people who doesn't think that way. Standards will always exist and they are diverse for each person in this world.
yoiure actually so pretty you just cant see it because youve rewired your brain by focusing on the negative thoughts so much and accepting them as fact. i used to have body dysmorphia too! youre not attracting people because your energy and the way you carry yourself is based in insecurity, inferioritym and feeling less than which people can defintily pick up on. unless you want to feel lke this forever youre going have to choose to think and believe what serves you and not what doesnt
Hun you are DEFINITELY NOT UNATTRACTIVE!! You instead a very pretty woman and I’m not just saying that as I wouldn’t do that as I’m very straight forward and tell or call it as I see it!
I think you just have to work on your confidence and learn how to be sweet, flirty and fun. You'll have dudes falling over themselves to date you. You've got all you need.
I feel like im developing BDD every single day i feel hopeless and ugly unattractive and people literally used to ignore me (im saying used because im still on summer break)
Saying that you’re no nobody’s type is just untrue. I could’ve said it about almost everyone else that is not pretty or handsome. As a matter of fact, you know perfectly well how easily you could find a person who would like you, the thing is that if you’re going for the very attractive type of guy and the most successful ones don’t wonder why it doesn’t work out for you. We are all suffering from the gap between what we want and what we actually can have/afford/achieve in our life. I’m sorry if it comes off as rude but I truly believe you shouldn’t be deprived of this perspective, even if it’s not the most pleasant one. By the way, I’ve been single all my life and not because I’m the most unattractive person in the world but rather because of my high level of standards, so I’m saying so out of my own experience in life and come across this reality on a daily basis level.
Id be very happy if my girlfriend looks like you. Ive felt ugly earlier in my life, but ive realized im actually pretty attractive for a male. Hope you realize you're actually beautiful. I wouldn't be surprised if men are anxious around you because of your looks actually.
If you cant find someone to date or struggle to find people who find attractive. You have to lower your standards. I know plenty of people who would want to date you and find you attractive.
I have reasonable standards. Sadly, most people don’t meet the basics such as “don’t be an asshole” and “genuinely care about me” lol. I’m not concerned about looks at all, unlike most people in the current dating scene. We just don’t vibe.
@@CrookedLadyFor some peoples, those traits might come with age, think about your own journey. Perhaps this is more like "game" for typical human at your age.
3:00 Are you being left every time? Did you really liked all of them or were you just grabbing them like person drowning? Enjoy while it lasts, let go, mourn for a while and towards new adventures? Isn't it better to break up after few months instead of eight years with words "I never truly liked you but there was no one else"
Actually you're not unattractive, take this from a stranger on RU-vid - because a stranger on RU-vid has more reason to talk shit about anyone because there are no consequences. I wouldn't waste time if I didn't think it was worth my time. And I think your attractiveness will benefit a lot from just smiling more, even if you don't feel happy. A smile makes you more approachable, makes it look like you have less baggage and are generally content. Guys like simplicity because guess what, we're simple ourselves. All the complexity that comes with emotional trouble is not something guys generally want to deal with, but I guess that goes both ways. Look a guy in the eyes and give a small smile, that's often enough reason for him to say Hi PS: Also, get a pair of cats, it really helps keeping you mentally stimulated!
My dear, I have a serious advice for you. Start dancing to happy songs from tomorrow. Go in front of the mirror and dance to the music. He loves himself and sees himself as beautiful as he is. Because you are really beautiful, only you don't realize it.
I used to be bothered by society and men not accepting my looks, I have a whole different outlook now I'm actually feeling blessed that ppl don't like me I know that sounds crazy but I know it means I'm one of a kind, learn to not give af it actually helps.
There’s a couple from austria whose upload youtube videos vlog. They moved out from austria to the island tenerife, spain. They explain in english that now that they live in the island they dont care much about competitiveness, so they dont care to impress anyone in any way but when they lived in austria they did because everyone lives like that over there. Big cities are like that. You should try moving out to an island, it could be an american island. The couple channel is lens vagabonds, video: tenerife from tourists to locals. I live in an island as well, its a dutch island, and yeah things are very chilled over here 😄. It could be the weather too cuz in Tenerife or in the island where im ‘bonaire’ its almost summer the whole year. Here where im is hotter than tenerife. Big cities plus a lot of technology is the perfect combination for depression, the best example is japan the seksless country, the country with the most singles in the world. Girl you need to mature, the best recipe i could give you for that is stop living with your parents, pay your own rent, i remember i had self image doubts and depressive episodes when i was 15, but then i moved out and start paying my rent, working hard, living with strangers, then i didnt have time for depressive episodes, i was under pressure to work hard, i had two jobs, im from peru and lived in california for 8 years, wouldn’t live there again, would go there again only for vacations sometimes. And if you are looking for men who dont care body types or face or whatever, most men think like that after 30, poorer or ugly men hit maturity a little bit earlier 😀 Good luck 🍀
You are attractive, maybe you are a quite different than the rest and that's perfectly well too! I'm also in a solitaire season, but you know what, I found peace knowing through the pain that I'm also valuable and I have people around me that loves me for who I am... I also have people who tries to harm my soul, but I don't let them. If you try to focus more on the good things that happen in your life, maybe you'll start attracting more people with the same mindset :) Also... last but not least, I found Jesus in the way... I've found a deepest purpose in my life, and I can guarantee that now I'm filled with happiness.
