me and my sister were listening to conan gray and my mum went “his voice is quite high…is he…you know…like noah?” so you’ll be glad to know your name has replaced trans in my mums vocabulary (also i did inform her trans is not a bad word, and men can also just have higher voices without being trans)
I’ve heard this so many times. It’s like, “well Brenda. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t be LGBT at all. I’d rather not live my life with discrimination and hate for just existing. But thanks for the input”
OMFG RIGHT my bestie is non binary and they have a gf and she kept misgendering them and I was like “THEY!” and she goes, “can I still say gf”, and I’m like, “if they’re comfortable with it”, and she goes, “I know! Theyfriend!” And I’m like, “noooooo!! Just say partner if you’re not sure!! Please!!!” Why it no make sense to the cis?!?
@@CasperTheDadLover cis people can be so confusing- like you don’t call people ‘hefriend’ or ‘shefriend’ so why is it different with nonbinary people 🤨🤨🤨
my sister once brought home a cis guy to cheat on her bf and he did a better job addressing me than my entire family did for years. dumped her for deadnaming me, then we talked a bit about life over a cup of tea, he was rlly surprised i'm actually older than him, found out my sis is actually in relationship, etc. it was weird and my sister was mad at me for few weeks but totally worth it
It always irritates me how people use children as an excuse to be bigots. They'll be like "What about the children?? Think of the children!!" meanwhile kids themselves never give a fuck and are always on board with it. Its only the ones who are taught to be bigots that might give you trouble but otherwise kids couldn't give less of a shit what your gender or birth sex is lol. Your nephew sounds adorable and I'm glad you have him in your life.
i love how the title slightly seems like an attack on cis people yet in the video you’re just going over things and explaining shit trying to help cis people and learning them how to do better catch attention with aggression but treat with care, that’s the way to fucking go hell yes
I see so many people who are upset with the “are the straights okay” videos/etcetera, it looks like they haven’t actually seen any of them. I’m cisgender and I don’t get all wound up over people laughing at people who are confused about trans people, there are so many snowflakes in this world and it’s always the people who call others “snowflakes”.
"just be gay" doesn't work on me(trans woman) - i mean I'm gay now(lesbian), yeah, but that's probably not how it's meant :3 Let people be who they are.
the overcompensating thing is hitting so hard for me - my dad does the "oh look at my masculine manly son!!" thing so often despite also making very transphobic and sexist comments pretty often sometimes and i'm guessing he's trying to move away from them and be more accepting but bro does it feel performative and weird, just call me your son. that'd make me so much more happy 😭
It sounds like that is probably more for him than you in some ways. Like he's trying to find a connection with you, and society teaches men to connect through hypermasculine pride of your MANLY ACHIEVEMENTS. So I guess he's trying... but also, it's kinda self serving? Which is probs why it feels (and is) so performative. Like he needs to do that work internally, not try to validate your gender to himself, out loud in front of you when you're like 'Dad please, Im just a regular son, stop it' lmao I'm sorry he's a hot mess right now but I hope he is changing. Also maybe that last part, if you tell him that, it might do something for him??
It sounds like its coming entirely from a place of love. He's trying to make you happy by saying the things he thinks you want to hear? Maybe show him this video and the penny will drop. Or just sit down and speak to him about it. As long as he knows, that you know that its not intentionally meant to hurt you i'm sure once you explain.....
I love what you advised about just saying "yes" and not overly explaining yourself to nosy cis people. Cause I also tend to overexplain. And it's so nosy, they really don't deserve an answer at all
I feel like at some point if someone asks me a really nosy question to just overexplain so much that they would not ask a question like that again, so just really explaining EVERYTHING to make them really not want to ask it again
@@alenefitzgerald4454 I got u but at the same time as a cis person I feel like it's really not a question you should be asking. At least not in those words. And only if you're really close friends already
Once had a regular at the cafe I was working at call us and get all nosy about why my name had changed after she noticed. I admittedly have some trouble saying no, so after a few minutes of prodding I just said "I'm transitioning, so I'm also changing my name. Is there anything food related I can assist you with?" and that turned into a whole ordeal where she first asked me if the business just "hired anybody off the street now" and then complained to management about the information she practically harassed out of me. Have learned that "None of your business" IS a good enough answer, and often times the best.
my mum came home from work one day and told me all about how she "defended the gender-nonbinaries today :D" and i had to keep a straight face while she explained that one of her co-workers was transphobic and how she'd said "well, as the mother of a nonbinary child--" like okay mum thank you :,)
today the italian government rejected a law against homophobia, ableism and discrimination of other minority groups, i've cried a lot but this video made me smile so thank you :>
Have been asked if I'm uncomfortable with going to the restrooms. Not for the right reason. I've been assumed as a Trans Man because I haven't came out and start my transition yet. I'm actually a Trans Woman. People would say "Thank you ma'am...um I mean sir. Sorry." I'm just over here thinking "NO! YOU HAD IT RIGHT!!"
I remember getting a "What can I get you, man? Uh, ma'am?" and I think there was a quick, mumbled apology. I was also happier prior to the attempted correction - but I could still appreciate the confusion in general. I was more interested in just getting some food than in explaining to some stranger that I'm nonbinary, though. ^^;
@@SomeOnlinePerson I once was at a Walmart store and was paying for something and I had makeup on and a dress. The male register clerk(is that the term for someone you pay to scan your groceries?) was surprised when I spoke from a male register(yes, I know, a horrible pun/play on words). I'm AMAB and non-binary. I enjoyed his initial shock, but what actually shocked me was that he didn't question it and was kind and respectful towards me.
I'm cis and I get so confused when other cis people mix up gender and sexuality. I've heard people say something like "I'm not trans, I'm straight" and it makes me so confused. They're two completely different things and I don't understand how you can mix that up.
As a cis dude I can confidently say, I do not treat anyone different by there gender or sexuality, I treat people differently based on their taste of music (I.E. if somebody dislikes Noahfinnce's music I dislike them. Stock photo models need to learn.
@@nevviedarling Yes, freedom of speech means that you're able to voice your opinion, but also that others are free to dislike you for that opinion, as long as no one gets hurt
@@nevviedarling I would argue that basing one’s view of another on their opinion is good, actually. Out of all the metrics, a person’s opinions (as opposed to race, gender, nationality, fashion sense, drawing skills, etc) is usually an accurate and a more fair indicator of their character. On what do you base your view of other people, if not their opinions?
@@SindriMjolnir No, I think their point is something like, 'So since someone doesn't like the same stuff you do, you don't and won't like them?". But then again, I'm not them , so I can't tell you.
HI NOAH I'M A BIG FAN AND BECAUSE OF YOU I FOUND MY TRUE SELF I WAS CONFUSED ABOUT MY GENDER FOR A LONG TIME AND THEN WHEN I STARTED WATCHING YOU I FOUND OUT I WAS TRANS,SO THANK YOU
God, I love it whenever transphobes try to scream at a trans guy saying"You'Ll nevEr be a wOman!" I mean, not that I'm happy those transphobes exist in the first place, but still. They're so confused it's hilarious.
I remember when the gender clinic asked if I'd consider just being a masculine girl, I tried to picture it and I littlerally started crying so yea I'm kinda confident that yes, I am in fact trans
Something I've noticed is how people will use your pronouns with no issue up until the point they realise you're trans... like what? It's like they'll be perfectly fine with using let's say he/him for you until they find out you're trans and then they'll be wary to use them and will often become a bit off with you. Of course this doesn't go for everyone, but it's just something I've noticed
As a cis-male and psych researcher of social identity formation, I really appreciate videos like this! It's important to me that I'm fully respectful to others and how they identify. it's also SUPER HELPFUL in being able to hear directly from people in the community, in order to have a richer understanding of how people end up having to negotiate their social environment. Thank you! 😄
Nobody : Literally nobody : Noah: "I like using big words that I'm not entirely sure what they mean" Lmao I do that too sometimes, just say it and hope they get what I mean lol
@@aceatlasska4343 yeah ill be talking to someone then they bring up a word they dont understand and the conversation will go like this friend: do you know what (insert a word cant think of one rn) means? me: yeah friend: what does it mean? me: idk friend: but you just said- me: I know I just said I knew what it mean't I just don't know how how to explain it friend: could you at least try to explain it me: well um- its like- no uh its like when this happens and then you do this friend: What??? me: IM NOT GOOD AT ENGLISH OKAYYY some times my friends forget that just because i know difficult words and English is my first language doesn't mean im good at explaining stuff and it does not at all mean im good at English lmao
@@ilikedarknes3351 haha yeah that'll happen to me when my mum (she's Polish) will ask me if I know what a word means, and I know how I'd use it but I can't explain it and she ends up googling it lol
ok but when he said “you don’t have to be manly to be a guy” my day got so much better especially since I’m not out to any of my family (except one person) and I still dress feminine. (Just for reference I’m genderfluid)
i feel like what people don’t understand about genderfluidity is that we don’t choose when it changes. i phrase it as “my gender changes” rather than “i change gender” because i think people tend to misinterpret the second one as if it’s a choice, which makes no sense. no one would choose discrimination and being called a gender they think they aren’t just to be “quirky”, it never happens yet some cis people act like it’s common.
Oh maaan, the "How can you be sure you won't regret this" made me think of my mom. After coming out, but before taking testosterone, we had a conversation in the car where she was telling me about how difficult it would be to live the way I was trying to live. That life would be difficult, that people were not going to understand, that it would cause me a lot of turmoil I otherwise wouldn't have to face going through medical transition. Meanwhile, I was like, "I'm???? Mother, I am living it??? Already? The turmoil is present." Anyhow, I'm almost four years on T now, feeling much better overall and she's been supportive, a lil confused but she has the right spirit.
5:24 I was with my dad, telling him it was pride month, and reminding him that my pronouns are they/them, he looked at me and said, "Can they bring this to mum?" It took me a while to realise he meant me. I'd say he's a well meaning cis het. He meant well, but was just a bit off.
@@osheridan Just a bit of banter from the discord. This is exactly what Noah put in the discord: Everyone i have a new video out and i think we should confuse everybody who’s not in the discord by commenting “noah what you’ve done is unacceptable” or “i thought u were cool ://“ or “can’t believe you’ve done this” LMAOO GO DO IT
AHH that thing with "dude" and "guys" rmeinds me so much of myself lmao. I f.em use the words bro and girl for every gender because its kidna gender neutral for me(same with guys) and my friends know that, but I do have a trans friend who is uncomfortable with the word girl even tho he knows I mean it gender neutral, so I dotn use it anymore, so jsut check how a person if feeling if u call them that and if they r ok with it it's not a problem I mean since I'm gender fluid the words girl and boy(referring to me) r sometimes making me uncomfortable and sometimes making me feel very good and I cna understand if these terms may make anyone feel uncomfortable
i came out as genderfluid to a fried at school, and asked her to use they/he pronouns for me that day because i was feeling more masculine. she said: ''yeah no thats a bit confusing for me, i mean i look at you and youre not dressed like a boy, so i just see you for you, ya know, a girl. so ill just use she/her. see you in class.'' like ma'am CLOTHES HAVE NO GENDER AND YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND! i also have vocal tics, and after a while she realised what my triggers were, and she started purposely triggering my tics, because she thought they where ''cute'' ugh
I am a cis bi girl and when I came out to my cishet mom she told me something similar to "THAT'S JUST A PHASE, YOU ARE DISCOVERING WHO YOU ARE AND YOU WILL CHANGE SOON". Don't say bad things about her because I love her
After seeing my best friend for the first time in 4 months, I introduced him to my new best friend and my significant other, after a while of all of us speaking, I brought up a memory of us two from when we were kids! But I accidentally said his dead name and I felt SO bad. I didn't freak out, I just said I was sorry and corrected myself then moved on. Love you Mateo, Sorry lovely.
As a well-meaning cis person I really appreciate videos like this, because language keeps evolving and I'm never super confident about the correct ways to say things. So I can see why some people might avoid saying trans for example. On the other hand it's generally pretty easy to just not comment on stuff that falls in the area I don't know well enough. A lot of the time it's none of my business in the first place, and I'm just not curious enough to ask the questions. If any of my friends for any reason want to talk to me about trans things I can always listen, but honestly I prefer talking about dogs rather than anything too personal with anyone 😄
My favorite is the "When did you change gender?" Just cause I like to interpret it as a grandpa who is very supportive of their grandkid, and hasn't seen them for years, and when they finally see them again, they're like, "When did you transition? You look great, I'm so proud of you!"
Question about the "have you considered living as a masculine girl?" thing, is that something transfems get asked as well? Like, feels like cismen aren't really allowed to be feminine the same way ciswomen are, so that seems really strange that transmasc people would get asked that.
I'm a fellow trans guy and so many people at my school were mad at me because I still liked pink and I would wear earrings, it was kinda funny watching them stress over it ngl 🤣
how I feel about the word dude as a trans woman, is I'm fine with it in certain context I explain it like this right I'm your dude, I'm everyone's dude, I'm your bro BUT I'm not "A DUDE" Theres a difference in my mind between using it as a form of endearment and using it to describe gender Because you can use it for both contexts
At 13:49 when he said “here is my absolute favourite” while shaking the apple juice bottle, I really thought that sentence was going to go in a different direction and was very surprised.
my dad was talking about how he was out with a trans woman and another friend (they didn't know each other) and his friend went "wow she's really pretty" and my dad went "yeah, and she's trans." great job dad. great job outing people /s
WAIT DON'T SCROLL PAST! Lgbt+ ppl in Ghana are under attack. A politician has stated that under a new bill that they would be stoned to death. A new bill they are trying to pass is that LGBT+ people and their allies can be sentenced to 10 years in prison. Please research this and help save them!
12:32 reminds me of the conversation about ffs (face feminization surgery ) with my mum, i show her some pictures of trans woman and shes like "i can tell they were born a guy, you can with all trans woman" so i get some mash of cis woman photos and trans woman photos without telling her that some were cis and i scroll through and ask "what about this one and this one, can you tell this one" and checkmate she's a huge liar
My sibling is enby (and vegan) and whenever someone asks "is your friend... you know?" they always say "vegan? yeah" (or no, depending on if the person is vegan but yeah)
i regret coming to see you in manchester on tour i am not longer going to leeds to see you again my tickets are going in the BIN i can’t believe you’ve done this ://
@@osheridan since it's been 15 hours and a lot of people have already said it, I guess I will too lol- in Noah's discord, he told everyone to say things like this about something horrible he did in order to confuse everyone who's not in the discord
casually brought up the fact that i'm bi in conversation and my mom was like "i thought u were trans?" then said it was all too complicated when i tried explaining they're different things LOLJLIKHUHFLUEHF
16:47 i spent almost a decade in the closet because i wasnt taught what being trans was, my family sheltered me and my siblings into never consuming any media that had lgbt representation so the sims 2 was my first experience with lgbt representation and i thought it was a glitch in the game because i was never taught that some families have two moms or two dads or anything in between. I lived such a sheltered life that i didnt know being trans was a thing until i was 17, then it all clicked. My emtire childhood i would play by roleplaying, and i always had either a character that i woukd say "you cant tell if im a boy or a girl" so i knew the concept of nonbinary before it was ever taught to me. Later on in my early teens i would roleplay online as male only characters and this was my awakening. This was when i really started questioning why it felt so natural portraying myself as male and never played a female role. Sure i see the point where role-playing doesnt define ones gender HOWEVER this was my sheltered way of gender exploration as a kid. I was a hotwheels and dinosaur kid growing up and was considered a tom boy for the entirety of my childhood. Ive always leaned more masculinely in presentation as i hated dresses with a burning passion growing uo and i wanted to wear suits and cut my hair short. My parents never let me do these things because "id look like a boy", but when they said that it only made me more realize how badly i wished i were born a boy. Sure coming out when i was 18 shocked everyone since they thought i was just a butch lesbian, but this was YEARS AND YEARS of gender exploration for me, and they dont realize that. Everyones journey js different, some people dont explore gender identity until theyre in their late 30s and thats okay! Youre never too late to explore your options and being late to explore doesnt make you any less trans that someone who explored it in childhood like me. Everyones trans experience is different and thats the beautiful thing about it🎉
i’m a cis girl but i have a trans friend. genuinely one of the only reasons i watch noah lol. it’s genuinely super helpful tho so i know how to be there for him and understand him more, i remember in a video you said somthing about never wanting to call ppl because of your voice, and my friend never likes to call. somthing clicked all of a sudden and it made sense. tysm noah we love you 💕
Noah, I can't believe what you've done. It's unacceptable. I hope you will be hold accountable for that and we deserve excuses. I really can't believe you've done this :/
@@nicoletta_777 I'm going to assume nothing. It's like all the people that comment on anything Garth Brooks posts asking about their families. Just a bunch of people that say words for no reason. They think it's funny.
Back when I was new to being a trans ally, I remember someone telling me they wear a binder and I said I respected that because it sounded painful to be. They were nice enough to explain to me that binders don't hurt unless you put them on incorrectly or you've been wearing it too long.
so... everyone in my art class has asked me at one point, "What's your REAL name?" like... if I don't want to be called that... why would you ask!? So I respond with the name I prefer and then they ask again. I would switch out if I didn't want to have to change my whole schedule and I want to be in art. Also my art teacher likes to either say my name incorrectly or straight up deadname me... god damn it... I hate school-
I am a restroom attendant at a night club. I run the bathroom. I welcome all trans women into my restroom and even gay men... They love me as much as I love them... I don't know if this is pc, but it makes me happy to congratulate my regulars on their new V after their bottom surgery.... It's good to see a friend so happy.
7:19 my mom did something like this. She said that “oh, if you’re non-binary, why aren’t you just bisexual? Does it have anything to do with being bisexual?” …how are non-binary and being bisexual related?
everytime i tell someone I'm trans, it's always the "Transitionquestions" but when I tell them I only want Testosterone and Top-Surgery they're like: SO YOUR NOT TRANS BECAUSE ALL TRANS-PEOPLE DON'T LIKE THERE "DOWN-THERE'S" and it always makes my questioning myself...like am I really Trans and NOT wanting Bottom-Surgery?
I'm not trans but I can relate to the "deadname". I really don't want people to know about my childhood. People who know my childhood don't know me. I get treated worlds better by people who have no clue about my childhood because they get the chance to get to know the real me. My home town is my "dead home town" to me.
