Why You Care So Much & How To Stop... 

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It's sooooooo freeing and relieving when you finally "stop caring"

This video should be shown to kids in school so they never suffer like i did all my life people pleasing.

Heyyy there !! Julien...I'm Shalini from a very small village of india...i have been watching your video for 17or 18 days and honestly man my mind is being so care free...and you won't believe that this is my first comment of my life I'm doing on...actually your made me do this .thank you man from the bottom of my heart❤

Here is a summary of the key points from the video: 1. Most people try to control how they come across to get approval from others. But this backfires - people see through it and it makes you appear less confident. Instead, stop betraying yourself and hiding parts of who you are. 2. Don't worry so much about what others think or try to control their thoughts. You can't please everyone, so don't betray your true self to do so. Embrace freedom of speech and thought, even critiques of you. 3. Life is not as serious as we make it out to be. Learn to laugh at yourself - have inside jokes, be willing to embarrass yourself and go into the cringe. This builds confidence. 4. Underneath the need to control is a lack of trust in life and other people. Examine where this distrust comes from via introspection. 5. Make being your true, authentic self the goal - not some supercharged external version of you. Harness all your emotions and moods, not just happy ones. 6. Visualize yourself as the hero of your own life movie. Play, use imagination, create - don't just consume entertainment passively. Get bored sometimes rather than constantly distracting yourself. 7. Let go of control, embrace unpredictability and chaos. See life as an action-packed video game you are immersed in. Make every year epic by living fully. 8. Stop waiting for a magical perfect ending. There is no "happily ever after" - embrace the messiness of life. Collect as many bold memories as you can. 9. Self-love comes from releasing self-hate, not surface level affirmations. Identify and resolve sources of distrust in yourself so you can unlock authentic confidence. Made with AI by taking the video transcript to chatgpt.

Never look for acceptance and approval as that's giving away your power

Those are the stuff kids should learn at school not the crap they are filled with it today,this is golden

I am so much more confident by just one thing that you said: letring go. I stopped being focusing on having certain "confident" body language, I let go of neediness of people validation and I don't care that even my present friends will stop like me, I let go of trying talking with people who really don't care about me . Also I accepted being alone and myself and that helped me also

your videos are the main ones i have ever watched that ACTUALLY help me progress forward. I overcame a good amount of my social anxiety because of you, thank you Julien 🙏

Yes. And love the chainmail battle gloves. Battling the false beliefs that society, and we, put on ourselves

Love him being bold, real, raw and honest and relatable

I wish you THE BEST. These videos are ESSENTIAL for everyone not just for people pleasers or low confident people. just THANK YOU JULIEN.

By far the best fucking ensemble julien has ever fucking worn. Although that blue wizard jacket with the stars does go hard.

When someone body shaming us, anger should kick up actually. But instead emotions kicks up for me. How to let go of that resistance, Julien.

I relate so much with the "mental numbing" part. People who work in retail and customer service often have to live like this for hours-on-end because customers don't like seeing the real people that employees are. Customers just want perfect service with a perfect smile and a perfect attitude. Until we can fix this issue as a society, there will always be people having to put on the mask daily because their entire career requires them to be fake.

Here's a nuance to "Who cares what other people think of you! No one can approve or disapprove you": - Logically I agree that you should not have any emotional charge ( or get triggered) whenever you feel threatened on what will other people think of you for the words you speak or the course of action/behaviour you just put out. - But it's also true that you have to be open for feedback because it's so easy to end up on either extremities (I listen to everybody AND I don't give a damn what other people think of me). It's like you should not care of what other people think of you but you should also be socially calibrated. Let's say in a social group, you have something to say that you found in a self-help book and you truly believe it's true and it makes sense to put it out there because of the context of conversation. Now most people who don't read self-help books, somewhere subconsciously believe that people who read self improvement books are somewhat losers. People reading those books can also feel that other people somewhere think that self-help readers are somewhat losers. Now if I alter what I'm about to say by dumbing it down and get rid of all self-help jargon so that it's easier for them to understand, am I socially calibrating myself or became a slave to other peoples opinion of myself? Also, second nuance is that: Sure you shouldn't care of what other people think of you. But if you keep telling yourself "I don't care what they think", even though deep down you care or say you have emotional charge or subconsciously care about what they think of you, it'll be just like working on an effect rather than cause. So the actual question is "Why do you care what other people think of you?" rather than forcing the right answer.

Julian taught me so much in my self help journey. I think a common goal of mine would be to be happy; and knowing what that means. A lot of people use that counterproductive advice to “be happy”, but never follow up what that means. To me, to be happy is to do the things you love. Doing the things that ultimately give you joy; the gym, reading, yoga, etc. Doing these things continually made me see that the stuff I looked for acceptance, a girlfriend, a nice car and stable job, the less those needy distractions came to be when I was having a damn blast with my life. It made me question and ponder the idea of, if I’m genuine and happy with everything I’m doing, does anything else really matters much as it did???? Not really :) god bless

I've made a lot of progress on undoing a lot of conditioning with the help of these videos and others, but every few months or so I need a reminder and this video was that. Thank you as always Julien.

I have to say you are doing a lot of good for a lot of people. I lost my way maybe 25 years ago, and I’m starting to feel a little more myself these days. Keep up the outstanding work!

You are the GOAT!! Helping out so many people is a blessing for real. I feel fortunate to have found your RU-vid channel. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Julien and Mark Manson. The duo world needs!

Holy crap that last line is so obvious yet so elusive. 🤯 Thank you, Julien! 🤩

Ever since I was diagnosed with epilepsy, I've changed my mindset to go out and do the things that would've held me back every time before (primarily because of SUDEP). I've loved every choice I've made since because it gives me new places to go, new people to meet, and something to look back on. I always listen to people, no matter what they're talking about. Even if it's something I have no interest in, I can use that information to help me engage with others who are interested in that topic. Adopting just the art of listening and engaging will take you far.

Guy in the front row gets a lesson in learning embarrassment is simply a reaction. Life ain’t so serious 😊

You're my God, you're my father, you're my brother ,you're my mentor and you're my uncle😢😢😢❤❤❤

Awesome video Julien! Appreciate your content bro it's helped turn my life around recently! Thanks man! Been watching your videos the last couple weeks and it's changed how I approach life already; sure there's still a lot of work to be done on my end but it's kickstarted something positive I didn't even realise I needed until I stumbled along your vids! Cheers man!

Wow this guy rocks!!What great common sense knowledge a real world advice!!Heis teachings should start in elementary schools to high school because kids need a lot more of this in life then social studies or home economics!!Live the advice

You have your own battles and you choose to teach others and walk others through life. It’s inspiring. Thank you.

People have something to say about what you do, but they don't have to live with the consequences... You do. So be yourself, because you're the one who's going to have to live with yourself.

I found this channel like a week ago, this channel will have had 10+ million sub if people cared about their deep desire their life more than games and where to find the next dollar from

"a little tight" ayyYYOO!

This is exactly how I thought back when I was 19 20 yo. Thanks for reminding me my life philosophy! Looking back I was making core memories almost every single week when I was at that age.

“ Its not something u turn on. Its who u r Don’t change urself. Embrace urself”

That was simply amazing. Great speech 🎉

True genius who looks like a fashion victim but I don't give a damn and neither does he. Just be real and don't forget to play. Thanks Julian!

A new Julien skin has been unlocked! Noice.

Thanks for the free therapy sesh as always Julien.

This was great bro. you speak with such honesty and come from a place of being grounded.

Man..great,great great, im gonna finnish my first big documentary film because of you, and hopefully send it to you,to watch and enjoy ! you are awakening my innerchild in me.thanks!!

This is totally a metaverse where you totally are the embodiment of Rick Sanchez ! Love it ! Nice cover Rick !

Julien rockin’ that Teezo Touchdown fit.

People forgot on an emotional level that life can be exciting and fun

It really is amazing how acting on your ideas and working on them have made my life much better! Thanks Julien

Thank you for this much of valuable content . Im a young man trying to learn social skills and increase my social status, please give me some advice or something

Regardless of freedom of speech, I still don't think that we should simply dismiss the impact words can have on others. It shouldn't just become an excuse of saying whatever, having to put up with potentially hurtful behavior or even guilt-tripping people into believing that it's not okay to feel upset or bad about it. We still have certain degree of personal agency and it goes both ways. I think and feel a lot of stuff about random people too, but I don't just act upon fleeting and oftentimes deceptive emotions and judge people that I don't truly know.

julien himself this is abenezer himself 🧐 from ethiopia and i thank you so much for making my life easier and for teaching me to be myself i mean himself 😄. i wish you good of everything.

Thank you for your videos. It has really helped me a lot overcoming anxiety and boosting my confidence and self esteem

Great video Julien. Can you put this audio on your podcast?

It is a big deal what people think of you if you're lonely. It's all fun and games until you realize you are not enough to satisfy your need for connection.

Lovely, as usual, Julien...

Julien, just wanted to say thank you.

Wow, you’ve come so far julien

I thought you were talking to me when you were pointing out someone touching themselves… and no it wasn’t because of your hair or your smile or the shape of your head but because of that outfit… seriously gave me a little woody.. I’ll definitely be hiring you for some fashion coaching 😂

Fuggin Julien lookin like a character out of world of warcraft. Those bracelets give him +10 defense. 😂 OMFG. He's wearing crocs. That is fucking unreal. LOL

God, I love your seminars, Julien! ❤️💯😎

I needed this reminder Julien❤🙏🏾

Love the outfit❤

omg. I asked myself so many times why youre wearing sunglasses. finally the big reveal.

When trying to be uninvolved with others think of you it also moves into how the group around you thinks of you like for instance I told my sibling when I found their fancy special dishes in the dishwasher that they're hand wash only says so on the underside well later that day I over heard the sibling saying how this concern I showed for their fancy dishes was to their POV was me bitching about them washing their stuff wrong which in turn had their half of the family thinking I now bitch a fit if they hurt & destroy their own things. Lesson I'll let them destroy their own things if the sibling is so unaware as to put hand washed items into a machine they get the result that will result whatever it is. It sucks and was hurtful this sibling thinks this way & couldn't see the concern what they saw is complaining/bitching which seems to be their mindset on anything you tell them that isn't a compliment or a fun idea or invite to something.

17:34... Stellar explanation process!

omg this look is giving ✨ Lady Gaga ✨ and I'm here fot it 💁💅 I can even hear the ✨MOMOMOMO✨ 💁

Just fun helpful videos it's funny how insanity is same thing all over again vs being unpredictable funny and authentic is actually scarier.

Notification SQUAD!! Have a nice weekend!🔥🔥🔥

Introduction: Controlling How You Come Off - 00:00 Hiding Yourself Lowers Confidence - 00:19 Why Caring About Judgments Is a Trap - 02:04 The Importance of Authenticity - 03:12 Letting Go of Control and Trusting Yourself - 04:33 Self-Amusement and Laughing at Yourself - 06:55 The Power of Inside Jokes and Lightness - 07:22 Embracing Embarrassment and Pushing Boundaries - 09:37 Breaking Out of Comfort Zones - 09:54 Trusting Life and Letting Go of Control - 10:58 Be the Hero of Your Own Movie - 16:36 Living Life as an Adventure, Like a Video Game - 17:37 The Dangers of Numbing Yourself to Life - 19:57 Creating Core Memories Through Living Fully - 21:25 Honoring Your Younger Self - 22:46 Trusting Yourself and Practicing Self-Love - 26:44 Stop Consuming and Start Creating - 28:18

Julien's the best

I was there! 😎👊 I volunteered but looked too eager 😂

so bassically you have to be around people that dont care so much

I hide my confidence to look charming and nice. But in reality i'm just a disgusting fake people pleaser..

I have one question, where did you get those mittens, or are those sleeves?

How dare you!!! My bad Just got me crazy 😂?😂?

Thank you thank you thank you 🙏

you do good job

I love his crazy outfit it reminds me of me how I wear crazy outfits 😂

I never commented under his videos until I heard baldurs gate 3. i love baldurs gate ahhhh

Is Julien coming to Dallas or did I just miss it?

Is having this,uncontrollable all day about everything ADHD? Or?

baldurs gate is so freaking good

Hell yea 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Don’t play god with other people’s emotions or thoughts🎉

Shiaaat everything you say makes sense, but dam I struggle so much letting go of the self hate, and caring about particular people’s opinions. Been doing this so long that my turtle shell has become hardened and constantly reacting in the same old way. When my crush talks to me my heart rate beats so fast that I become retarded.

Great 👍

My zeisty teacher

lol that apparel thoughXDXD

My greatest inspiration❤️❤️❤️

broadly applicable does not always equal successful so why be a people pleaser?

I unironically love your outfits.

This is fucking deep shit. But I think everyone who is prone for anxiety or overthinking should biohack hormones, neurotransmitters and micronutrients.

Nice outfit tday

What if you have a psycho parent who just steal your energy you need to grow and find the path

🙌

He looks like a New York quidditch player

You're hilarious 😂😂

resonates, much appreciated julien.

The Truth 🙏♑📿

What IF there are legit reasons to care what people think? What IF you DON'T have a foundation of social norms and zero etiquette and manners? What if you grew up in a dysfunctional place where you don't even know how to interact? Exaple like if you dont't even know how to say hello or greet people?

13:07

Hello @JulienHimself, Thanks for your great conversation ,which I lastly taste it with Hac Sahin Xutba. Please read the Quran ,and try to feel it as you are, I believe you deserve it. Happy infinite, interesting life.

do you wear crazy outfits to defy social anxiety?

This guy is hilarious

Whats up