Why You Should Never Loan Money To Family - Dave Ramsey Rant 

My dad used to have a saying in Spanish. “Si no te da pena pedir, a mi no me da pena decir no.” If you don’t get ashamed to ask for money, it doesn’t shame me to say no.

I used to loan money to my family all the time and it was always such a headache having to chase your money your family acting as if you’re the one being annoying asking to be payed back ! Not worth the hassle at all

A friend taught me anytime you feel someone is about to ask for money just hurry up and ask them first!

I remember when my cousin asked me to co-sign a loan for her, I told her no, and she got offended, but I explained to her why I will never co-sign for anybody. Then I ask her why she needed a loan anyway, and it turns out she wanted me to co-sign for a loan, that she wanted to take out, to loan to her friend who "couldn't get a loan". It was the dumbest thing I've ever heard, and I made sure she knew that.

One of my wife's friends wanted her to co-sign a car for her. I shut it down immediately. I reminded her how this girl is constantly going on trips, buying new clothes, going out to eat, etc. She's horrible with money and I'm not confident she'd make the payments. She got indignant and upset that we wouldnt do it and ended the friendship. Good riddance!

My family knows not to ask me for anything. I have mastered the art of saying NO and let’s sit down and figure out what you can sell or do to raise that money. They hate that mess!

My grandma used to say, " Neither a borrower nor a lender be. Live within your means. If you can't afford it then you don't need it!"

Believe it or not I had a tenant ask me to co-sign for a new car for him, and he's two months behind on his rent, now that's balls.

When you live beneath your means people assume you are poor and don’t ask for money. Never talk about how much you have.

My daddy used to say, there's no such thing as a loan to friends or family. It's a gift.

Fastest way to destroy a relationship.

The best $20 I ever loaned to a relative was to my scumbag nephew. He now avoids me like the plague. Best $20 I ever loaned out.

I gave my business partner a “bridge loan” of 80k to help with the down payment on his house. He said that he just needed it until his current house sold and that he would pay it back as soon as it did. His house sold 3 months later and he never paid it back. However, I kept that “loan” on the books for 5 years until our business was acquired and we liquidated our assets. When we were diving up the proceeds I took an additional 80k plus interest. He did get bent out of shape, but he had no choice because it was in writing. The value of our company was in the millions so it really wasn’t a big deal for him to pay it. But it just goes to show that even when people have means, they never want to pay you back unless they are legally required to.

I was used and abused by my mother and sister for years. Loaned them thousands and NEVER saw a penny back. They would turn on the guilt when I refused. I had to walk away. It hurt, but I got over it.

I needed to hear this today. My parents are buying my brother a house. They aren't buying me one, even though my brother and I are equally successful. It stung. But I realise that I feel a huge sense of relief at thinking of all the freedom I have in disentangling myself, financially and emotionally, from a toxic family dynamic.

Nothing irritates than seeing someone you lend money going on a vacation... “Can you please give me my money back first before you go on vacation! I saved this money following the baby steps and it wasn’t easy”

I give my mom money every month. NO expectations of getting anything back from her. 18 years of her working and putting me through an expensive college as a single mother it's the LEAST I can do.

In my youth I co-signed a boyfriend's car, because "I was going to be with him forever." I was so freaking lucky that he paid it, and eventually refinanced it only in his name. Looking back I was so stupid.

Pop told me when I was 10yrs old... “you wanna lose a friend or family member, loan em money.” 😂 He wasn’t lying

When my dad wanted to buy a new house and had a contingency on his old home he took a short term loan for $220k, his sister called the bank and paid it off, she said he shouldn’t pay interest. When his house sold he paid her back plus interest. She flew out to California to see the new house. When she left she’d left the interest he’d paid her in the guest room in a cashiers check. They got along great, it was a rare relationship, In a different time (the 90’s).

I learned this lesson the hard way. My friend's car died and he couldn't afford to fix it and he needed a car for work and upcoming doctor appointments. But he didn't have a credit card so the car rental companies wouldn't rent to him so I gave him my card and he promised to pay half with this next check and then the other half the following pay check. Well time comes for the first payment and he asks "Do I really have to pay you now? Can't you wait till the 1st?" He eventually did pay me back, but never again.

Don't loan money to family at all. Period. It does not make them stronger.

Ever loan a lawnmower to a family member? Remember how long it took to get it back? Well, there ya go.

The person who disliked this video owes their son 100 bucks.

I love when people ask to borrow money. I had to learn the hard way to never loan ANYONE money: friends, family, your kids...NOBODY. Now, I love the satisfaction of turning people down because it's the right thing to do.

I've lost "family" and "friends" who considered themselves family over lending money. Its always been a bad decision. The only good that came out of it was I learned how people truly are. Listen to Dave!

Never loan any money that you can’t afford not to get back. That goes for friends, family, and co-workers. The fastest way to end a relationship is by loaning money. If you’re uncomfortable saying no, just tell them you’re paying off a loan too.

When people ask me to borrow money,i say you have the wrong person,you need to go talk to the bank.

My wife asked if we could loan her friend (who was in a really tough spot) several thousand dollars. I insisted that instead of a loan we gift her friend that money because if it's a loan then she would lose their friendship. Despite doing that I think her friend felt some underlying guilt or shame and they don't really keep in touch any more. So even a gift of money can set up that "I owe you" dynamic in the heart of the recipient.

I lent my sister $10000 for her divorce. She paid me back every single cent... As soon as she did I gave her $5000...

My car was about to be repossessed and I asked a lot of people even cousins that I knew had money just for a couple hundred so I wouldn’t lose the car and I have kids... the only 2 people that helped me out was one of my cousins $500 and another church friend another $300 and I put the rest so the car wouldn’t be repoed. I knew I was going to be getting money the next month so I told them I would pay then back the next month.. and I did pay them back.. I’m forever grateful for the help from them. This was about 2 years ago...we still stay in contact and see one another but I don’t ask anyone for money anymore. I’m learning to save and got a better job.

I spent weeks in my 20’s pissed off over being berated by my mother in law for refusing to give money to my husbands idiot sister. I was listening to Dave on am radio at that time. I am so glad I acquired a backbone. It was much easier for me to manage mom in law being mad at me than me being mad at myself for allowing the abuse.

Never ever give any indication you have money. It's like this ego thing. A lot of wealth is silent. Fake rich/new rich is loud.

When I get a phone call from a relative, I'm sure to interject in the first five minutes how I am barely making ends meet. Suddenly they remember some task they have to do and say they "just wanted to call to catch up with me".

My husband learned to ask for collateral. They soon quit asking.

Let my brother borrow $1500. He had previously borrowed 5k from my mom which he never paid back. Anyways, I KNEW exactly what I was getting into. However, I let him borrow money on the condition he would pay me back within 6 months or less. In exchange, I had him give me collateral in a higher amount than what I borrwed: 500$ worth of PS4 and games as well as his car keys and title SIGNED which was worth around $1500. I made it clear that there would be NO extensions. At the end of the 6 months, whatever wasn't paid would be taken from the things he gave me. I would sell the games or car to get the money back. Period. Since he lived with me, I knew he could easily take the stuff back so I packed it in a box and kept it at work. He was still driving the car but I had the title. Needless to say, he wanted his stuff back and he paid me in four months.

My thinking is, If you can't afford to lose it, don't loan it. That means, money, tools, your car, your boat, your time. Any thing. This his serviced me well thru the decades.

One time my coworker borrowed$8 from me for lunch and she just started to avoid me afterwards. Remember I didn't even asked her for my $8 or made any big deal out of it. It's amazing how some people are. Well, I never got the money back and I just brushed it off. She truly shows me her character, lol.

Likewise don't loan your parents money. Give it or not at all.

I once let my sis borrow 60 dollars. It took her 3 months to pay it back. In those 3 months they went out to dinner every week, nails done, going out, etc. It was always awkward asking when she would be able to pay me back, even more awkward when she'd say "oh next pay day"..but would proceed to go out to a restaurant every weekend. I will never loan money to family members again.

I loaned $5k to help my cousin buy a house. 7 years now he won't even pick up the phone when I call now. We used to be the best of friends. Never lending money to anyone ever again. I could have sued him, but he's family still I didn't. And no I didn't chase him for it, I rarely mentioned it. Maybe once every 3 months. Even after 2 years I offered them to pay me back $100 a month.

Grant cardone once said: Dont let anyone borrow money cuz theyll be mad. Theyll be mad at you if you say no or theyll be mad when they have to pay it back.

I loaned a friend $700 when I was 18. Took him 6 months to pay me back. Ruined our relationship. Now I never loan money to anybody. When somebody asks I just say simply, “ I don’t lend friends money.”

I pretend like I'm broke 24-7 I be saving my money lol

There is a saying: Friendship & Family ends with Money.

What still bothers me though, even though I give my family things freely, they will still say "I'll have it right back to you". That makes me so sad, because they've never once paid me back. I wish they would just say thank you instead of lying.

I made this mistake once and it will never happen again

This is Dave on steroids, I love it. Lots of wisdom here.

It's absolutely true my aunt and I had a handshake agreement on a second car that I owned and wasn't using, she agreed to give me 500 dollars for the car whenever she got it and pay the insurance on it every month. Somehow over time she started playing a different tune of I gave her the car and I'm pocketing the money she's giving me toward theinsurance every month. It was a HUGE falling out between us over this long story short its been six yrs we haven't spoken one word to one another since I've gotten married have a kid and one on the way, got my CDL and have a great career truck driving and she hasn't been around for any of it and this woman practically was my second mom growing up. NEVER EVER mix family and business....

I once had a boyfriend ask me to co sign for a new car, he was like I'll pay $700 a month until it's paid for, I'm glad at age 22 I had common sence, I didn't co sign and we broke up shortly after.

I've seen this happen time and again when someone is naturally very sweet and generous and people pick up on that and guilt trip you to lending them money. The friendship always turns bitter. Same with going into business with family. Don't do it.

I use it to my advantage, my father always said "if ever you have someone in your life that you just want to get rid of, let them borrow some money and trust me, you'll never see them again!"

When I was 19 I had an apartment with my best friend and worked at the same place.. when he got fired for missing to much work, I moved out immediately.. I didnt want our friendship to be ruined by me paying all the Bill's and being resentful the rest of our lives.

You think that if you loan a family member or friend money, that they will have a sense of obligation to pay you back. It's the exact opposite. They are thinking "oh, they are my family/friend, they won't expect me to pay them back." Just don't do it. Ever.

My inlaws helped us. We tried to give it back later and they wouldn't take it. They NEVER asked for a penny. SO sweet. i love my inlaws so much. More than my own parents, really.

I gave my grandma like 150 bucks once and told her that it was a gift and if she WANTED AND COULD give back then i might accept it. But it was a gift. I never went looking for that money. I never asked for it. Turns out a few months later I was in a rough spot and needed a 150 bucks. My grandmother just so happened to call me up to tell me she wanted to give that gift back. She didn't know i was in a bad spot, but that's what happens when you give freely.

I learned that lesson very early in life. In school everyone came to me for lunch money and i thought that the right thing to do. No one should be hungry because they forgot their lunchmoney at home. After a while i noticed everyone around me owed me money. About 80€ at the time. NOT ONE OF THEM payed me back without me asking. When i asked they were annoyed or even denied that they owe me. At that moment i stopped loaning money.

Got burned $80k on a real estate deal for my in-laws. NEVER sign for anyone. They can't get the loan, that's their problem.

My sister asked me to cosign a loan on her car back in 2010. I was freaking out about it, but she never missed a payment. If she was going to be short she told me, and I was able to help her out. She's honestly the only person I would cosign a loan with because I've done it for her a second time, and she's done it with me a couple of times. I'm thankful it worked out, but I wouldn't do it for anyone except her because we have this history. With my new focus on paying cash and not getting loans, I hope it will never be an issue again.

I loaned a coworker some money and when I asked for the money back she reported me to HR saying I was harassing her and they fired me the next day. 😕

Only loan someone money if you're willing to GIVE the money

IF the BANK won't loan money to someone to buy something, when they have ALL that ability to check people's credit history, what makes anyoen think that YOU will make a better decision than the bank when lending or co-signing to someone who has no prayer of paying it back?!?!?!? There's a reason why the bank won't lend to Jr or your buddy, and it's NOT because the bank is "mean".

Another good hint: BEFORE anyone asks you for money or a loan, make clear in daily conversation that you do not and will not lend money to anyone. Keep hitting that note when the conversation about loans is NOT taking place. THat way, you probably won't ever be asked. They KNOW your policy on lending money!

Let’s talk about simply giving money to “struggling” relatives back home to Africa, South America, Pacific islands and Caribbean. The sending money is based on guilt of living and working in America. If you don’t send money, when you go back to your family’s country you are ostracized. So really, you end up paying to keep a community. They act like you

It also affects the relationships between siblings too, especially when it is the same sibling constantly asking for money. Very damaging. I love Dave Ramsey's wisdom on this subject.

Don't give money to people, period, unless they are short on gas money and need a few bucks to make it to the gas station. Anything else forget it.

If you loan money to family, make it with condition that they cannot borrow any additional money from you until they pay back the full amount they borrowed the first time. Make sure they agree to that when they borrow money the first time. Lets you shoot down any additional requests for money they make to you since they agreed to that condition in the first place.

My paternal grandparents lent my parents money for a house and some land after my brother and I left the house and were adults. My grandparents insisted on not losing the interest they could have earned by cashing in some Treasury Bills and so my parents paid the going rate to avoid jumping through hoops at their bank. They paid back the loan in full over ten years. It ruined their relationship for the rest of their lives. My Father refused to go to his Mother's funeral or be associated with his Mother after his father died. My grandparents could not understand what they had done wrong and felt isolated from their only son until they died. I saw what money and control issues can do. Now I understand why.

Wow I’m surprised how many irresponsible people there are. My uncle had to co-sign for my first car and and finished paying the car loan two years early. I guess I’m one of the few that actually does the right thing.

I lent a guy $100 at a racetrack when I was in my early twenties. He laughed at me when I asked to be paid back. Cheap lesson. I have a standard answer when someone asks me to borrow money. "I don't have it."

$50.00 in cash as a Gift friends or family...Also do not Ever ask me for money Ever again...

I wish I would’ve watched this before co-signing for my sister. Worst mistake I’ve made

I lent a friend at work money to pay his rent that month. That way he and his kids wouldn’t get booted. Got paid back $100 and that was it. Didn’t get anything else back and he has sense gotten married and moved out of state. I won’t give anyone any money these days. My Dad does live at my house.

You end up feeling used and it causes huge divisions. They often wont repay the favors. Let them figure it out on their own.

I'll tell you why you shouldn't do it...chances are they already think you owe it to them somehow, then when you do it, they won't appreciate it and then continue to disrespect you in myriad ways!

What gets me is they call it a "loan" knowing darn well they have no intention of paying you back. That's why I do not do it any more. Stopped that a loooong time ago. I don't care if you have only two cigarettes left. I don't smoke so it's not my problem! 😠

My spouse let her sibling who had no job run up about $13,000 debt in her name on credit cards. They also lived with us and paid no rent for about three years. They went out to eat too many times while living with us and I would complain about it. After a while they got a job and they paid off about $3,000 on the credit cards and now their mother is paying back the rest. This was very terrible and put a strain on our marriage. They finally moved out thankfully. Do not lend money to family or let them run up the debt in your name.

"Lending money to your friend turns friendship into master-servant relationship. Borrowing money from your mother means your mom's got a control issue as she is tring to interfere with her grown-up child. And it thanksgiving dinner would feel different to sit with your mom vs to sit with a master." Favorite lines of the video. Well said. So wise 😭

If you ever want to get rid of someone in your life, just wait till someone ask you for money you know you wont get back lol.

My father lend me 3000 10 years ago and I paid it back. A year later, he co-signed for my car loan, wich I paid back. If nobody gave me a chance long ago when I needed it the most, I would probably still be living paycheck to paycheck. The saying should go: always pay your debts, and absolutely always pay your debts to your family.

My sister owes me. She pays me $250 every time she gets paid. I’m not a kind woman and she knows why will happen if I don’t get it back in full🥴🤣🤣

I was helping my sibling out but not anymore. She can keep going to the payday lender places

I loaned $2500 to my brother in law and I never got it back even though he promised no matter what. Apparently I'm not important enough to return what is mine. Now I don't lend money to anyone.

If someone borrows money from you and you lose them because they refuse to pay you back, you didn't lost a friendship, you expose a user for what they were and losing them was worth the money you lost.

Unfortunately Dave is right . If a relative is grieving and crying for funeral money and begs you with tears ... DON’T LOAN THEM THE MOBEY!!! Trust me they won’t pay you back

My brother has been borrowing money for 25 years. He usually pays back but sometimes not. My mum nagged me when i was young to loan him 700 for a used car and i eventually gave in. His loan fell through and he couldn't pay me back so he just avoided me. Later he asked me to cosign for his rent and i said no.

I loaned a co-worker money. Made him sign a contract. He paid it back, but his attitude towards me wasn't the same thereafter. Oh well, I've been down that road before with others, didn't bother me making him sign a contract. Nowadays, the answer is "no" or I just help out without expecting back.

I loan to my kids fairly often, and occasionally friends. The trick is to never "loan" more than you can give without upsetting your own financial plan. For about 10 years, have been writing my budget on a spreadsheet out six months in advance, much easier than the paper version. This allows me to see how actions in the present will affect future plans.

My brother drained me with non stop money requests, until I yelled at him while mom also picked my side. He didn't call me for the next eight months. Up to that point he called me sweetly and stressed how he regretted how he always asked for money. Right after the apology he just happened to need some money. After giving him the money another incident of needing money followed up. And that's where I hung up during the second call. Isn't it always fishy how their money problems are way too long and detailed. They do that on purpose which will make you lose track of the story, because they don't have real money problems. It takes a few words to utter what's going when you're really in trouble.

I use to help my daughter and family... I paid a $42,000 student loan for my deceased son to help him. Bought a car for my daughter ( she crashed it😡) besides helping her with a couple of grand! They controlled me making me feel bad...... I changed that, now I don't and I am the bad one! I am happy cause I learned the hard way!! I am saving for me and my retirement!! 😌

I was told if your going to loan money always get and hold collateral. People seem much more willing to pay you back when your holding their property.

My mortgage is through my father. 4% interest rate 15 year mortgage. I have never been late. $37000 or 7 years to go. Our relationship has only changed for the better. Since I’m in baby step 6 I should be done sooner than 7 years.

On a positive side, this is good way to get rid of the annoying guy always asking for a loan. Just give 100$ and mention that you want the money back asap and no more money before this loan is paid.

I've rather just GIVE the money then loan it. Loaning money to friends/family always is awkward and basely ends well.

My cousin asked me to cosign her student loan when we were 19. I wiggled my way out of it. I didn't want the financial responsibility, but even more I didn't want a bad relationship due to her falling behind on payments (which did happen).

I always figure if you give money to family, never expect to get it back even if you they tell you they will pay you back.

If you lend $20 and your in law never talks to you again, was it worth it?

I agree. Still waiting for my sister to pay me back for paying her cellphone bill more than three years ago. She just received $50,000 in inheritance and she still refuses to pay me back. Lord please help me to let it go.

I think the relationship is already shot by the time someone says "hey, can I borrow $X?". Giving them only ensures you lose $X on top of the relationship.

I want to tell this to my in-laws. They had my wife get a loan in her name for them to purchase a home. Long story short my wife had to file bankrupt because they couldn't pay. Family is not always best for many situation in life.