I don't like kids and never have, I don't care about other peoples kids either. I love animals more than kids and people in general. Animals make me happy, people and kids not so much 🤷♀️.
I never really felt like I wanted kids, and now I’m at the point where I entertain the idea long enough to remind myself of why I don’t want kids. I love my peace and my quiet time, it makes my head hurt when people tell me oh you say that now but you’ll change your mind. Why is it so bad to not want kids????
I would say it's definitely hard being a single, black women with no kids. In the black community, there is this stigma on single black women having all these issues. When in reality, I'm doing just fine and started a new career. I like not taking care of kids and I'm not settling for the wrong guy. Is that a crime?! Geesh 😂
@@anastasiassecret3837 yes! That is so true! I didn't even think about that directly. They must be upset or needing gossip which is why I get the remarks. I thought people were just confused lol
I think it's becoming more popular to not have kids. I've never wanted to get married either. My mum used to say, when I was a kid " see who YOU marry". I used to say " I'm not getting married". When I was an adult she'd say " When I was your age, I had x number of kids to look after, AND I worked". I used to say she couldn't criticise me for not looking after kids that didn't exist!
I have never once in my life EVER had a desire to be a mother. I have plenty of younger siblings, and because of family trauma, I spent a great deal of MY OWN childhood raising kids. I don’t have any desire to do it again. At one point in my life, I slacked on taking my pill as prescribed and became pregnant. I ended up having a miscarriage when I was relatively far along and it almost killed me in the process as well. When women say they don’t want children, BELIEVE THEM, say OK, shut your mouth, and don’t pry. End of story. Lately, I’ve decided to start telling people those very personal reasons when they have the nerve to ask me WHY I don’t want children. If you ask me a deeply personal question, I’m going to give you the deeply personal truth and I’m not going to apologize while you sit there and squirm in your discomfort. I enjoy my freedom as an adult. I’m making up for the lost time that I never got as a child. Imagine if child free women started asking women with children why they wanted a baby with the same “I pity you” tone of voice.
Funny thing is I do pity them 😂. They are forever attached to someone else due to those kids and will most likely stay through cheating/ abuse/various other scenarios where they would otherwise not think twice about leaving all “for the kids.” Women (and some men) also lose their youthful body and their telomeres even shorten. Too many points to list, but you get the idea. So many reasons to pity them, yet some have the nerve to pity us. HA! I always turn the tables if they take that tone with me.
Being parentified as a kid and having to be the "mom" figure for my younger siblings and trauma is another reason I'm not interested in doing it all again. I'd like to have a happy life I've never had before thank you very much.
@@vanissaberg5824 I can feel you, but it was with my aunt's kids that she didn't want to deal with emotionally and that's why I don't want to repeat that trauma again or worse lifetime of trauma because it's my own kids this time and I don't want that. NEVER!
I follow her channel. I love her!!! Even as a kid I didn't want kids. I had 2 younger siblings and the tiny responsibility I had as a big sis was annoying to me I do know people who are only children who say they want kids because they were lonely as kids.
I tried to make myself want to be a mom from Ages 37-43. Big mistake. I wanted so much time trying to confirm. I wish I had as much clarity as her. I did not get the memo on momhood. I’ve never dreamed or desired to be a Mom! It is what it is! Most importantly…I. LOVE. MY .LIFE
I remember being teased by my brother as a child. He said: Haha you have to get pregnant and have babies! I was very shocked and scared by his words. I think that was a turning point for me and definitely contributed to my child free choice.
Oh my goodness yes! In every way. Lol. If others want children that is perfectly fine and I hope they are happy. I just don't and it's animals all of the way for me.
Tbh, I never kept a wedding binder? I think I would label that obsessive behavior? I am American and I never had it in my mind that I had to marry, much less pop out a couple kids. My husband is Egyptian and he acted ashamed when he told me he did not want kids....I laughed so hard I nearly choked...after my laughter subsided I told him no problem!! He was shocked because like me he comes from a large family. It does not help either that he is the oldest son and it is expected of him to carry on the name. The online dating thing is not something I would be comfortable with. I hated dating and always thought it was way to much effort and stress. I did not marry til in my 40s but I don't regret it. I feel blessed to have found someone with a similar mindset as me. As far as the prying questions, they never go away they just change from a tone of sorrow to regret. Most all my friends had kids and we drifted apart. We really have nothing in common anymore. At my age I get ask about grandchildren, I always just smile and tell them no, I am fine as I am. They still give u a pity look, I guess u can't change that!!! Great video Hannah!
Oh lord. I am 40. I am child free and I had a hysterectomy almost 3 years ago. After the hysterectomy people tell me, “you can still adopt.” I just look at them like they are dumb. Yesterday someone said it to me. 🤦🏻♀️ Also in the last year one of my stepsisters forgot I had had a hysterectomy and asked me when I was going to have kids. Never. I like kids, I just never wanted them. I have never wanted to take a kid to soccer practice or entertain them and their friends. My best friend has a 14 month old. She is the cutest and I love to hangout with her. But it’s not a life I would want all the time.
LOL! Recently my co-worker told me that she was going to have a baby. I automatically asked "What for? You've such a nice life"... Don't do it... I regret...
My mental and physical health would dive down straight to hell if I were to have children. I'm skipping this "milestone". I honestly feel truly blessed that I have never been burdened with maternal instinct and the insane drive to reproduce. I adore animals and the people I already have in my life. I have no desire to create another human just so I can love it. Oh and on the wedding binder. I'm an American woman and I've never seen this especially if you don't even have a partner. That's funny.
Never been interested Kids. I didn't have a great childhood & got bullied at school a lot by boys 😡. Marriage never even crossed my mind at all once growing up either. No clue why that is & never heard of a marriage binder either LOL 😂😂😂
That's a stupid out of date view that women should be get married and have kids it's someone's free decision i don't want to have kid's either but it seems to be less critical and judemental for men to say that your awesome and beautiful the way you are you don't have to have kids to make you the awesome person you are love you so much
If I was ever asked why I don't want kids, I tell them I just never saw a reason to have them or want the responsibility. I like kids, they're just not for me.
I always thought it was interesting when women have their whole weddings planned as a child. I remember when I was like 13 and my friends would talk about their weddings and I couldn't even think of a color I wanted. Im not pressed about being married. If I get married good, if I don't food but I don't think it'llll make or break my life. My life is already great as it js
The only time I had a wedding binder was when I was actively planning my wedding. Kept everything in one place. Super useful. Not an aspirational binder though haha.
Can relate to being an 85-year-old crotchety old man as well. I don't like your loud music and flashy clothing and I definitely don't want your kids running around my yard. /shuts window blinds/
I always suggest offering to bet them money that You won't regret it/change Your mind etc by age "x". If they take the bet keep upping the amount untill they realise that You're serious and they fold. Or make some money. Make the bet in front of others as they won't want to back down and lose face in public.
"typically within 90 minutes I'm like ok you can go now, I've called you an uber" :D LOL, I feel the same way I cannot imagine living with a man, especially if he snors and doesn't help with chores and I also need a lot of quiet time alone
I have a maternal instinct, but I don’t want kids. I think of it in a utilitarian sense… what’s the point? It’s extra stress for no reason. I want to be free.
I'm a Hannah that doesn't have/want kids too! Thank you so much for your videos! I think something that might be worse than people telling me I'll change my mind is people telling me, "well I said the same thing at your age, now I have x amount of kids." Firstly, I'm 32. I'd totally have at least hinted I wanted kids if that was the case. Secondly, it's incredibly disturbing that they admitted they had kids despite on the surface at least, never wanting them. I usually say, "well...I ACTUALLY mean it and am taking precautions to ensure my life stays the way I want it," and usually that makes them pipe down. If it doesn't I talk about scheduling a bilateral salpingectomy.
I think I can sympathize with the childfree because I very heavily considered whether I wanted to have children. A lot of people simply know they want them, but I considered other options & I can see the appeal. I also like seeing alternative lifestyles because as a mom of 1 who might stop here (I love my quiet time & being able to focus on my daughter!) it doesn't make me feel invalidated the way certain aspects of parenting culture can. CF, 1 kid, multiple kids, all great choices.
TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Intro 01:45 The most common response CF people get 03:05 Not other people's business 04:10 When you just don't like kids 05:26 Not less of a woman 06:30 This is good for the childfree soul 07:17 Lacking mothering skills 08:13 Did you have a wedding binder? 09:50 Respecting parents 10:48 Living as a minority 11:50 "Looking for the mother of my children" on a dating app Video I reacted to: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-B8-_8G51qrE.html
So happy I found your channel! For years, I felt like I was the only one who didn't want kids....the people I know have two or more. What is the best thing to say and how to tell a man that you don't want kids?
Welcome to the community! I think just being honest and bringing it up sooner rather than later is a good way to go. This might be helpful: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-bRG7GMPFhzY.html
Thanks for ending the video with remember you are never alone 🙂 coz it feels like that in the place and culture I come from...I am yet to meet another person in person who thinks that being childfree is actually a choice!!
when it came to my mother and me when i was younger, my mother never asked me if i was going to marry or have kids. she had 2 bad marriages and had to leave. only child she had was me. She was more happier with me being happy and having a life that was caring , peaceful ,and also helping others. some relatives would always ask her if i would marry and have kids. She being most wise and also enlightened said " I need her help more than i need her to be married or have kids." They would stop when they would hear that from her.
I definitely don’t want children, I MAY and that’s a HUGE MAY adopt one day. But I don’t want to be pregnant and give birth and all of that. BUT I DEFINITELY HAVE dreamt of my wedding and planned it :)
I didn't have friends with a wedding binder, but I did have a friend in high school who had already named her children. She wanted two sets of twins (I guess she didn't want to give birth four separate times) and wanted two boys and two girls. She had names picked, but I only remember Taylor (she had a thing for Taylor Swift and Jonathan Taylor Thomas). I was happy with my Sims family and didn't have any ideas about my future reproduction plans.
I'm glad there's other women who never really cared about the whole wedding thing and getting married and picking out the big princess dress and all that. All my friends were and I was just thinking that I definitely don't want to have a traditional wedding at all when I went out with them wedding dress shopping for their weddings. I was totally fine with the idea of meeting the right person later on and just living together in a long term relationship. The reason we agreed to get married was so we could be together in the same country without having to be separated. So we got a court marriage and that was it! My mom was a little disappointed that I didn't wear the dress she picked out for me or that I didn't change my last name to his, but she got over it thankfully.
I’m American and I’ve never had a wedding binder and I don’t know anyone that has a wedding binder. The thought of having a wedding binder when you’re not engaged sounds cringy and weird.
Validation is a very power motivator, I'm a guy but universally when you make a choice that goes against someone's life choices there is always a is grass greener on the other side that comes up. The projection they have of you sort of invalidates the approval they are seeking from other's, it just so happens it's validation combined with biological factors which is why it's such a big deal to people.
I think, “some people” don’t put a lot of thought into become a parent. They were having sex and they made a baby. I’m not saying they’re bad parents or that they don’t love the children. But so many parents don’t wake up in the morning and say “I want to be a parent, with this person” before having sex.
Thanks for sharing, and it nice to have childfree friends online and offline. No to a wedding binder. I am enjoying my new baby, a Grundig Satellite 3400 radio.................................................................................. going hiking outside in the sunlight, its nice here 80 degrees, USA
