You Don’t Lose People. You Return Them | Stoic Philosophy 

That sounds like how we are supposed to achieve to be one in marriage. It’s actually one of the twelve mysteries of G. written about in the B.

Words with an impact... beautiful suggestion. I really needed to hear that. Ty

i needed that thanks

da m n

wow

"Stop breaking your own heart by exaggerating your place in someone else's life." This! I did not understand this for the longest time. Thank you for putting it into words so clearly and concisely.

"Be afraid of losing yourself, when you trying not to lose someone else." That's something I am personally afraid of. I don't want to let my love for someone turn me into something bad if its taken away

💯🏆

Definitely

Im going to screenshot this 🥰😊☺️ gracias Felix

Thats what she said

@@MortyMT 😂😂

I don't know why...but your fears you attract more then your dreams. There are exceptions but a lot of people never dream some of there's achievements.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

I love this quote

Beautifully said!

🤯

It's also a shared bond, even when your feelings are your own... The bonds the moments you share the memories That's what's ultimately left behind. They may be your feelings, but they're never one-sided.

I’m gunna put it here because this gave me ease. I left everything and everyone over a PROMISE my ex gave me. I had never felt more alone in my life. I kept letting him, and every time even when it was sporadic, I felt used. He would say “I do miss you” while having a gf this whole time. This made me realize I can’t let this make me feel sad after leaving him for good. I lost me. I lost everything that made me .. me. I was love. Thank you ❤️

I'm sorry to hear that Marcela. I lost myself too. 13 years single now. I pray you are healing

Wow that’s resonated with me

@@jamesmcmccray8255 same brother same 😅

This.

so true!

Mientras más tratamos de controlar algo, al finalizar, nos controla más de lo que queríamos controlar.

“It’s not about winning or losing it’s about how you play the game”

Isn't that Nihilism? 🤔

Its not about to achiving but experiencing and leaving.

Life is about nothing, you decide what is important for you.

@@farnhoune4237 "Knowing that it can't be perfect but you try to make it as perfect as you possibly can . We all are different, so dance in your box in the best way you possibly can. Choose your own box and just be you . There's no gimmick "

I can attest to his. I was in several relationships before I finally found someone who I felt genuine love for. He broke up with me through text just today. Thank you for your comment. It honestly helped me feel a little better to know that this kind of reaction to something like this is okay.

So other people feel that "gut" feeling? I thought it was just me😢

@@slimshidy2451yes

I finally found the love of my life. But, he was a fraud. Big lesson learned.

@@wonnieramy girlfriend broke up with me just yesterday. We were coming up on our year anniversary. I feel your pain and hope you’re okay

Amen.

Amen

Yes that’s true

💯

Amen

Who are you . That was sick reall neeed to read that ty sm

Even ourselves ain't permanent though. Ourselves are just the only thing we can control.

So true

Thanks, brilliant thoughts, I agree ..

Easier said than done

Like a space shuttle

This is very true!

We all die alone.

The top of the mountain is lonely

@@Halonoobs1000 it already seems to get lonlier on the way up the mountain. Life seems after a certain point to take away more than it gives.

OMG so profound. Well put.

Needed to her this!

😢true

Thank You

Once you see her true form, the future shouldn't matter. But once you learn F-nature and accept it for what it is, life gets so much better!!!

@@johnstamos4325 Her true form was that she had an eye on one of my "best friends" for who knows how long. Still, I could've had a family with her (I didn't want to at the time) and now I'm left pining with no one to make one with, and time just seems to be disappearing. I messed up 😔

It all comes down to expectation. We aren’t mad that they left, we’re mad because we didn’t think they would. It’s brilliant. Everything that brings us suffering stems from our expectation. All it takes to get over it is switching you perspective. Reframe the meaning of the action to something positive or neutral and it doesn’t hurt anymore, at least not in the way it did.

@@MikeJackson690 people who have kids with people and got married are still left, so there is no antidote or guarantee for her not leaving other than true love. But if she eyed your friend and left you for him, then you have no business being with such person as a partner. Just be open, focused and patient you will get someone that deserves you and worths you especially if you are a good person. I wouldn't want to be with someone who left me for my best friend.

@@alexconfidence2354 What do you mean “ such a person “. Is a girl in the wrong for choosing whoever she feels more righteous being together with? Maybe at first she liked the guy but then ended up falling in love with his friend, I don’t think that makes her a bad person, just the way the universe plays it out p

Ekdum sahi gyaan choda Bhai

Wise words. Will the soul remain though after death?

How?

@@philipoconnor2236 According to Hinduism, it does. That means you gotta work the most on that. Keeping the soul pure.

There is no soul. It's an invention of the narcissistic monkey brain

I just broke up 2 days ago days brother. It's always a tough road, but we'll come out stronger out of the other end.

Yea a 7 yrs guys we in this together

Letting go of the pain is one of the hardest steps

I totallly understand how you feel. I’m a year post break up and its still rough to let go.

I am of the same situation with you and the pain is suffocating. But we can do this. Eventually, we’ll get through this. 🫂

Breathe deeply into that sensation

I know that one too well, having suffered much abandonment as a child

Lost my love after 5 years. The rational part of me wants to move on and heal, the animal part of me wants to be a monster.

That feeling doesn't go away until long after. And only when u stop thinking about wanting That feeling to go away.

That's just acid reflux 😂

Einzelgänger, or the guy behind this channel, is a very wise traveler. Always come back for some calming thoughts, eye and mind opening anecdotes and words. Much love and energy to you my man! Whatever happens, happens. 🚬

Hang in there, I lost my mother back in 2010 to cancer when I was 19, my dad was never the same again and lost his mind, except he wasn't "crazy enough" to be admitted to an institution, but rejected a therapist as well. From November of 2021 until March of this year, I lost him to covid, my grandma to natural causes, a friend to a drug overdose as well as another friend to a rare, aggressive form of arterial cancer. Among all this, I had to stop seeing the girl that I loved dearly. I was losing my mind for a few weeks and was crying every day, but I'm ok now 3 months later. I've lost 25kg and now training for a marathon as well as changing careers. Things get better, they always do. I wish you the best!

@@vincentdimitri169 amazing the resilience you showed trough this years 👏👏

@@vincentdimitri169 No. Tough times DO last, and sometimes one hasn't the time or chance for things to turn around. You are young and you have time. Life can get better, eventually, and relative to WHAT? I went through very similar circumstances the past few years, and I can say, having lived through that and looking at the world, that if I had God's skill-set, I'd be a MUCH better god! Of course, a true stoic wouldn't believe in God, right? Life's a real piece of shit, so stop sugarcoating it - it's just then a sugarcoated turd. I live in Buffalo. Share your BS with a mass shooting victim's family and let's see how well that is received, oh Swami! Maybe I'm too much of a realist/cynic to truly be a stoic, because I can't help but give a fuck.

@@noo2le868 I got the young man beat, having lived through that and more, and I can say life is a turd, no matter how you sugarcoat it.

So then what’s your definition of love ? Just letting people go ? 🤔

Love to me is a very sweet selfless light-hearted playful emotion.. Love to me is childlike.. And relationships should be loose and that someone can be 100 percent who they want. And if that means that someone doesn't want to be with me anymore then I accept that choice and I still love them at a distance.. When you realize that everything in life is constantly moving and that you never have any grip on anything or anyone, life is going to be so much easier.. Just my thought 🤷🏼‍♀️

@@felicityduijkersloot6043 but what if someone wants to have an open relationship but doesn’t want to leave bc he loves you. He just wants a different flavor every now and then . If you love him just as much as he loves you , would you stay even tho it makes him happy to sleep around ?

@@felicityduijkersloot6043 Great perspective!

@@bitofwizdomb7266 Any relationships required open communications. Why couldn't an open relationship work out? The couple set the rules and tones of the relationship so if one person want to explore a little more and the other person respect that urge so both communicate and continued to communicate about the new dynamic until they can come to an understanding. The communications open space for both to speak their thoughts and fear and emotions without judgement, whether it's good or bad. Once a conclusion has been reached and both decide to open their relationship with the continued open communications, who can say it won't work out?

❤

Nice ❤

From which book is it?

Reminds me of one of my dad’s quotes: “A ship may be safe when it’s in harbor but that’s not what ships are built for…"

💔

I am sorry for your loss. May god be with you. Somebody will love you dear, be hopeful.

=life

Desire = attachment = fear of losing = trying to control = suffering

Realizing how you contributed In the losing= realizing that you ain't shit=replaying that over and over=not fixing things=thinking about what they think of my family and life choices=feel even more shitty=cry when nobody is looking=do it over again while getting no job car or freedom to be a normal functioning adult in the world so you die and resurrect into the house

@@john-paulhunt6943 Afb?

stupid advice. I fear of losing a place to sleep, so I'm supposed to let it go and become homeless?

@@joannasekua6273 Let it go from your mind. You don't have to be homeless or even not have a family to let go of all of them ahead of time in your mind. I've already let go of everyone I love so when they pass it will be of no consequence. I've let go of all the possessions and items I have in my life including the house over my head so if it ever burned to the ground I would simply get up and move on. You cannot control the circumstances of your life so stop holding on to them so tightly. They are out of your control and they are impermanent. Detachment is true peace.

Yeah kina like if I fake it I don't have it

​@@joannasekua6273yes now get started 😂

I love that quote my goodness. Thank you random RU-vid woman.

It's 323 in the morning. This random RU-vid clip and your comment hit home. Thanks.

That's a thought provoking message since I was psychically connected to my loved one o.o no wonder I was so attached

The quote that i need😭

@@EL-ee4czlol same except it’s 12:29 in the morning 😅

So they say but it just works this way in the romcon

☠️

Sir🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

✍🏻✍🏻✍🏻✍🏻

This is how I'm feeling about someone right now LOL

BARS

yea, it should spark you to be more FULLY PRESENT when you are with them, knowing they could die tomorrow. That is what I take away, never take someone for granted because they could be gone. I learned that the hard way...

They may dump u after some time.

U wont feel happy if ur friend suddenly dump u.

Wow! That’s so true.

Balance IS, the way!

true!! it's a dance. It's about balance and change. Accept both sides of the coin when you live them.

Its a matter of choice.

It's the matter of accepting the reality means everything good and bad all , everything exists in whole

Como decía Buda Gautama el camino es el medio, una cuerda de la guitarra suena en el punto medio

This translates to damned if you do and damned if you don't 😂

Why did u let them go? They sent u this which means they might have expected you to put some efforts to be back

@@shama7201 I tried.. they ghosted me. 😔

I don't understand how friendships end. It's not like a romantic relationship where people can't be with each other any more?

@@TrangNguyen-hx3ko Personally, I just left without saying a word- my relationship with my (only) two, longest lasting friends had turned into something that made me more angry, annoyed and infuriated on a regular basis compared to feeling fulfilled, happy, worthwhile. I suffered and suffered and realized that the situation isn't going to get easier- it's only getting worse. It got to the point that where just even seeing their name pop up in a message, call, or a simple greeting made me shift from completely calm, at peace with myself, to instantly angry. So I left. I took a long, rational look at the situation and realized that I've been covering all these negative emotions for a LONG time with the idea of "friendship", not even realizing how harmful these emotions were to my well being. Once I realized this, I took up a metaphorical blade, and swiftly, without any hesitation, cut everything that tied me to them. In practice, I started immediately practicing zero contact. After that- my overall well being has immensely improved. My anxiety is lower, I'm eating better, I've managed to quit Alcohol altogether (that's freaking big for me.), my head is clearer, I find immense enjoyment in things again that were mundane and boring before, and most of all, I feel so much more at peace while sticking to my own motions. Sorry for the long comment, think I needed to write this out even once, for the record.

Thanks

Thank you so much for this

@@azmeecruz1080 my pleasure. Cheers mate

peace brother

I needed this 🥰 Thank You!!

Sensational

May God grant you ease

Peace to your beloved and yourself 🙏💚

What happened Kryzs?

@@anudeepshetty2751 She's just very old, in constant pain, has dementia, won't eat, won't drink. It's that deep connection between us, which makes it hard for her (and me) to leave her life. She's struggling to let loose. But now it's getting better. She's on her way to fall asleep and never wake up again. Still unbearable pain for me. I stay with her all the time since Tuesday.

@@kryzs_kornhell I can relate to it man, it's unbearable. I still haven't recovered from the pain. I wish you good energy.

Thank you for this , she just left me and I feel so terrible about it ,I was obsessed with her . I was too attached

thank you darling

She left me 😭 changed everything and moved

Well said

~Osho

Dman

Hope you are doing good

I hope you have healed. No need to hold resentment against that person for walking out. It happened to me too after an almost 30-year relationship! No need to wish that person well, no need to curse. Treat it as a chapter in your life book, and your story hasn't ended! You'll meet new persons as you continue to live your life! If you do not believe, just look at the population % in your country! New friendships & relationships will come your way, just love yourself and treat yourself best! Remember: when flowers bloom, the butterflies naturally come! 🌻🦋🌻🦋🌻🦋

@@cloudyday1617 well that's the point : you will meet new people as you continue to live, so him too!! He will also be meeting new people and that's what really sucks actually 😁😣😅😒

Same bro x

"I've always found Anakin's story similar to mine." Me: *Whispering out of sheer dread* "The younglings!!!!"

It's a nightmare, not a dream

This makes me not want to love it all. What’s the fucking purpose. I hate God for making us suffer. I’m with Anakin.

@@djsurferdude Your identification with your personality is an illusion. It’s a phenomenon called ego. It’s a result of perception of separateness . There is no external reality other than the internal reality. (I know that can be a bit confusing) As long as you think there is a God or some force outside of you, separate from you, you will be in an eternal conflict with it. Realize there are no lines, it’s all imaginary. Why do you have consciousness and sentience to experience all these things? Logic tells us that nature/universe evolved this way. Paradox’s and mysteries are not meant to be solved, but lived. Do yourself a favor and come to terms with this first. Reality is not what you think it is, it all depends on what software you’re running. Matrix , unplug, reload.

thank you for ur perspective, it means a lot to me as im going through a tough attachment crisis╭๐_๐╮

Life has meaning. We are not meant to detach, but to feel both joy and pain and grow.

That's one of the most beautiful parables I've ever read. Thank you.

Perhaps i missed something. But that means that cicero realized he cant be stoic? What was his response to this?

I'm not sure I understand the last part.

@@naturesfinest2408 yes from the info given it would seem so. He couldn't practice what he preached.

Thank you. I will definetly read his works.

You REPEATEDLY POST 'to the WORTHWHILE PERSON....' PLEASE stop this - EVERYONE is worthwhile. Your grammar is excluding people. Do you want EVERYONE to feel valued, or just the 'worthwhile people'??

@@JohnM... I don't think that a person who doesn't see that comment is going to feel excluded or get offended 🤔

Thanks but I'm still not joining the dark side

As someone who has lost their father sister and child within the space of a few years I understand finding purpose in the face of grief takes huge strength and determination, I see your statement as kindness in the face of adversity.

That brought tears to my eyes, thank you

You are not alone ❤

Update??

@@annietang5945 can't be at a better place, I healed and met someone too, thanks for asking, wish you a fulfilled new year ahead!!!

Reflection is truly key. Humanity should dare to look deep within, but it should also accept that more than mere physical Reflection is required for true, celestial enlightenment. "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In Time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the Universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (series)

Same here

Good luck to you all, I have a brother with bpd and I know how hard it could be living with it

Daily writing and running will help

We have the same story Brother, hang in there youre not alone!

Im sure you will learn to deal with this kind of problems. It's something we all try to learn on a daily basis

Going through the same situation.. I hope you are in a happy place right now

How are you now? This is exactly what I'm going through now

@@aprilrains3163 What about you? I’m going through a similar thing and I wonder when I’m not gonna think of them

@@marining you do.. but in olas... In waves... Each wave softens even the toughest edges. Trust that forcing that door to stay open will not allow you to turn around and see the right one open to the path you should be on.i can't tell you how much energy I poured into the wrong person. I journaled. I walked. I cried. I distracted myself with TV and animals and slowly I realized I went a whole evening without the thoughts. Then a week went by and it had been days. Now.. I cannot explain the glow in me. It is my own energy. And no more vampire to drink it dry

Going through same

Yes.

I relate to this so much…

I feel this to my core.

Perhaps it's a natural reaction? We still care, but there is a stone where attachment used to be.

From personal experience, I feel like we still care, we just shift these emotions around in other uses. I personally care for people, but could really care less if we see each other or not. It’s not that I hate them, Iv just learned to accept MY truth in life and live for me, life is a fickle thing and it will always matter what YOU make of it in the end.

So you know what not to do, do you have a recommendation on what to do?

I feel the same. I started feeling disconnected from people. Guess it’s not truly acceptance but a backhanded way of making you feel secure before the pain, again there’s still fear of sudden loss. Acceptance should make you want to live your emotions with people freely and fully and even mourn for them without desperate need of having them back, not repressing them

@@dsoule4902It is like the line in Kipling's well known poem: " If all men count with you, but none too much, " . Idon't know what happened.

⬆ This

Exactly. When I had the mindset from The video, I wasn’t enjoying life. Because if At the end I was going to return something, then why bother enjoying it lol

@@rollercoaster8881 yea this mindset isnt for me either. i am just someone that loves my close ones deeply. if the price for making my people feel loved is devastating grief, then i am more than willing to pay for it. thats just how i roll

Let him go and do not bother about him again. You are no longer responsible for his wellbeing, safety or feelings. Yes sometimes you may remember him and we all do remember our ex, but just brave up and move on with your life especially if the break up was not by you. Gather your self and be courageous enough to move on, that's life. Do not give a hoot about him and whether he is well and where he is, he should be fine there.

@@alexconfidence2354 she hardly sounds like the type to "not give a hoot about him". Nor does the Stoic philosophy seem to be encouraging such a cavalier attitude toward those we lose. I believe it says "grieve in moderation" and move on. She appears to be doing just that.

@@FriendofDorothy she is conforming. Still loving him but accepts fate.. .I don't understand this behavior.

Reflection is truly key. Humanity should dare to look deep within, but it should also accept that more than mere physical Reflection is required for true, celestial enlightenment. "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In Time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the Universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (series)

(To me) the reason doesn't really matter.

Hey, how are you doing now?

@Mateus I know it's gard, how are You ti this day?

@@deanvo503 Still hard, but we've gotta keep moving, the past is the past.

@@TheMSRXD Yeah man, I had a tough breakup a few weeks ago myself, that had a few weeks of no contact before that, so it was super hard, but finally got to see her and talk and have a closure understanding moment with her and we hugged it out and cheered up ourselves even and all the things, then this whole week now has been so much easier, i cried like a bitch and all that jazz but it's fine, you let that out of your system and spend the impressions of it from the soul, as they say, and then you move on. Fortunately for me, this girl is very cool and understanding and conscious of a lot of things, which is why we had the closure that we had and the understanding. A girl prior to her, it was much much worse, and it was hard on me for a year until i met this one. It's all a process. Just wanted to share this, cheers!

Same here. And with no cloture too! We just stopped talking 2 months ago. The last conversation was normal and all. But it was obvious he lost interest. I didn't mention it to him and he didn't say a world. And that's how we necer spoke again. I think he started dating someone else a month ago. From what our friends told me. Still cry every night but I know itll get better sooner or later

Totally agreed. We'll said 👏🙌😊

Great comment to end the stoic nonsense. Grieving is a part of living and losing.

Agree.

Well said, my kindred! 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFULLY PUT! 💫 I couldn’t have said it better myself! I LOVE your heart consciousness! ✨♥️✨

Attagirl

I gave up some things years ago that were obviously an emotional rollercoaster and I'm much happier with the tranquility that has come from that decision. Recently I have considered giving up some other happy-unhappy cling-repel things that are more difficult to give up. But if it leads to more tranquility as did my earlier decisions then I think it will be worth it.

You are right, friends don't last forever, but that doesn't mean you cannot make new friends when the "old" ones leave you. Since your child probably radically changed your life, it could be that your old friends weren't ready for that big change, and that's normal, but there are many people out who either already have children or are willing to link with people with children. Friends are important, you don't want to become your child best friend, for her own sake

You need more to your life than just tour children, they grow up and fly the nest , you need a life to return too then.

People with children and people without usually don't hang out much together. It is normal. Just find some friends with children through the school or activities you do with your kids...

Remember that you will need to return them to the world as well eventually. Too many parents in an effort to keep their children with them will literally arrest their development to subconsciously keep them from growing up.

I also lost all of my friends and keep going strong!

You ve been a real one dude! Never ever let someone makes you feel unworthy! What you did show your strenght and your good intentions,you will find someone that will appreciate this kind of respect🙂letting her go was an act of respect to you in the first place but also for her. Good job man🫡 I wish you can get the best girl ever😊

@@theknight3093 thank you, for a long time I felt like I was a terrible person. I will admit that I wasn’t the best of friends towards her but I needed to do what’s best for me. I’m not going my to say that I found the one just yet. Me and my friends of five years have been getting closer and closer. We are taking our time and placing realistic goals like marriage. It’s a big commitment, she’s a single mom with 2 teenage daughters. We are doing what best for us and becoming a family

I hope u mean returned to the streets and not back to you. Cause if u allow any woman to leave u and return ur a jackazz an being played a fool. So I really hope u mean she returned to the streets

Hope you’re doing alright❤ they live in you, they make up your DNA, if you ever feel alone remember that your parents make up who you are. Your features were once on their physical self, and now they live on with you. As long as you’re alive, they live vicariously with you.

Be strong, mine has gone in september. Still can't wrap my head around it...

Hang in there homies. Focus on yourself, and things will realign in time. Got dumped a few years back, was devastated for some time. During the recovery, ran into a lovely girl in the kitchen at work. It wasn’t time for another relationship, yet we bonded anyway. She is so loving, I’m glad I got out of the previous relationship against my will.

I lost my husband in December and recently acknowledged to myself that I wanted back the person in his prime and also the opportunity to fix mistakes I'd made. The fact that he had dementia helped me to this insight and to understand the roots of my grief at loss. I still grieve but I also now know I can't hold on to anything except the ever changing present. I pray that you can reach a place that gives you some comfort in your heart. It's cold comfort but seems to fit our physical reality and aids in moving forward in our evolution.

God bless all those who have lost a loved one, may they rest in peace. ❤

@@thisisnotoleg thank you for sharing. Was lovely reading. I just lost who I thought was the love of my life a few days ago.

I wish these were the words she said🤧🤧🤧

Not yet but in ten yrs and hundr3ds of gallons of wine and mountain of kitty litter, then youll realize you through a good man away for greener grass. Only then youll be old. That is your life.

@@rev.jimjonesandthekool-aid4488 please shut up

😂 @ your YT user name! 😂 😂 😂 I LOVE IT! ♥️ Thanks for the laugh!

I've been there.

It's the pain to forgive yourself to love that person, the delusion and cruel reality. I've been there too and takes courage to move away and be in peace with whoever triggers you

It's because both love and hate are in same frequency and at extreme poles of the spectrum, it only takes self control and sometimes a brutal reprimand or pep talk to make you control your emotions. Self worth is also a reason not to bother much.

Been there and done that; It takes almost everything from you at first but as time goes on, the pain lessens and blurry things becomes more and more clearer, that's where you slowly start to accept every pain and every feelings you feel and you eventually move on. I'm still healing this day even 3 years almost 4 years has passed.

I just got broken up with someone for the same reason. He was my first love and and he always told me that we would grown old together, have kids and all that. We had problems that I thought were fixable but he didn’t, he told me that he still loved me and respected me and said he was going to miss me. I don’t understand why he let me go if he claimed that he cared and loved me that much. Since you’re on the other end of this kind of situation, why did you end it?

@caa9ify there was a bug disconnect between us. We had emotional support with each other but with time I learned that our definitions of love were very different, it caused tension, and eventually started to feel too platonic. All the same emotions and care and feelings remained but the compatibility did not. So while it hurt to leave and while I wanted to find every reason to stay it was unfair to both of us to do so. They deserved someone on the same wavelength of love and I deserve someone whom understands and can handle my form of love as well. Neither of us are at fault, neither toxic, I hope one day to rekindle a truly string friendship because we obviously care for each other but we are right emotions but wrong people situation. It's actually a good thing, it means we are both good people, it means we never meant to hurt each other, it means if things went truly bad for me I know they would be there even if it hurt us for a moment. It is harder to grasp though because it's not toxic, it's not the normal reason to leave someone. I did not give up on us, I gave up on myself. I ignored my true feelings because I enjoyed their company and we had a strong connection even though deep down I knew we just weren't the right people for each other. I hope this helps. Don't beat yourself up, I don't think you've done anything wrong, and don't feel they don't care. I bet they care more deeply than you imagine but love is not enough sometimes and that's okay. It's healthy, it's how we grow and learn :) Hope this helped. I can talk further about my experience if you're curious

Update for anyone who cares. Me and that person are friends again. Learn from your mistakes

@@judahriggins8403 Good to hear. I'm happy for you.

My "friend" needed my services. Then the betrayal came. I am smarter now and I have a hedge around my heart.

You'll get through it Priya. People tend to say that time heals, but I've learned that time only heals once we accept our situation and the conditions we must endure. Accepting the fact its difficult to let go, accepting the feeling of no progress, accepting the struggle of growing and expanding beyond the boundaries of our previous shell. More importantly, that it's okay to experience it and feel discomfort as we do. And yet choosing to move forward anyway. Learning to accept and empathize with ourselves is a moment where we cant resist and hide from our pain. Our emotions can be sporadic, so the challenge our acceptance has to face varies on a day to day basis, so stay patient with yourself Priya. Progress is equally microscopic as it is perceived on macro scale, and sometimes we just have to repeat a routine of thoughts or small decisions (that are not our normal) long enough for it to change the behaviour of our mind in the long run, and its not instantly noticable. I remember hearing that progress is just an accumulation of small choices that bring changes in the most subtle ways, until theres so many changes that its not subtle anymore. I wish you the best Priya, I believe in you :) Stay patient with yourself as you heal and release

@@MoMo-qy1vx thankyou for this. :)

@Priya Being self aware of the problem is still progress. Anything worthwhile takes time, practice, and discipline. No progress is completely linear, patience with yourself has to be central with your journey. During this time you will learn a lot about life and about yourself, you will be so grateful for having to go through this journey as time goes on because it will only increase your resilience and emotional strength. The pain is not optional, it is necessary for us to move forward, even though it is hard and it hurts so much. The suffering is optional, and I don’t believe you have chosen suffering, so I am very proud of you. Time will march forward, and things will not get better unless you put in the effort. From what I can see, it appears that you are doing that. Be patient, kind and loving towards yourself. It is the most important principles to keep on this journey. Best of luck. 🙏

@@gabrielgarcia7554 Hi.. thankyou for this beautiful comment. I am so grateful to read this. Yes, the journey is tough and perhaps this is what I needed to read today. There is guilt, frustration and what not. But your words put things in to perspective again. Every time I feel low, I somehow get such comforting words from kind strangers like you. People I've in real life are never so kind. I am so grateful that human being like you exist. Thanks a lot stranger. You really made my day. Wishing you a nice day. :)

No one can be taken from you without their consent, this does not include death or sickness.

@@alexconfidence2354 you did not understand my meaning, but it's ok.

@@calvinjackson8110 OK, I thought I did. I am just adding to what you said though.

Nonsense

Great opener. Love is Loyalty. I Agree. Many do not understand what love really is and Hollywood beta minded programs about it doesn't help

Bingo.

🎯 Well said. VERY well. ✨♥️💫

Hi Reyna! ✋️😄

I think balance is the watch word as stoic can be a double edged sword. Narcissist can claim to exert stoicism, even those who hurt others and never care can claim same. Human relates to the word humanity, humane and emotion. Even animals exhibit some level of emotions, if we base on stoic alone we will be nothing but vile heartless beasts with no feeling or empathy all we need is balance.

If you guys love each other enough you would not break up, but for him to say he was forced into marrying you is one of the most insensitive, unloving and cruel thing to say. You can only try your best but if it doesn't work you can't force anyone atleast you tried. but never cite love here because obviously the love is not balanced or doesn't really exist especially from his comment.

🎯

The wisdom of Kung Fu Panda! My two daughters used to watch this film on DVD when they were young….they are now leading their own lives elsewhere but the DVD still sits on the shelf collecting dust! I let my girls go (as they must) but not their DVD collection……do I count as a True Stoic?

Same, only person i ever cared about. My biggest dream right now is for her to come back but it s very saddening that most likely that dream won t come to reality

Nothing lasts. Everything changes. It's just a matter of when and how. Your understanding is realistic. And it can help you to practice gratitude, now.

Wise

Been there, my ex broke up with my 2 years back and jumped right into a relationship a week after we broke up. Took me a good two years to get over her, now I could care less. U too will be okay.

I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you’re both okay. I’m thinking about you.

@@waynesworld686 goddamm bro alot wasted time. Stay Blessed

@@waynesworld686 she was cheating with that person. Monkey branching narcs call it

@@gargoyliangaming6556 nah. I'm cool now. I'm 27 just bought a house and a car (Merc C200) I had nothing when I was with her. I wish she left me sooner.

Yes, you're not supposed to be detached to your partner or spouse. But if they leave then you have to accept your feelings sadness, mad, frustrated, disappointed etc. And grieve. Grieving and forgiving is a process. You have to go through different stages after separation or death of a loved ones. You can't deny the reality of what you feel for that person. But in a healthy way you can learn to move forward without them.

Basically be your own person and always have boundaries I’d say. If you both go in the relationship as partners and not put too many expectations on each other then you can’t be disappointed. Don’t listen to me I’m bitter lol

Celebrate your own individuality, and respect your partner's individuality. People change -- their interests, principles, even their feelings -- and we should accept that it is beyond our control, as we do not own them. But then you also don't have to be extremely anxious about it. We have to understand that love is a choice, and it is a choice to love and accept every version of that person.

By loving them and yourself altruistically. For example, you walked into a mentally abusive relationship. They can do anything they want, those actions hurt you but you love them altruistically. You are capable to leave them because you love yourself altruistically by walking away from this pain n love them from a distance. You are capable to leave them because you love them to do what is right by them, the relationship is toxic n both suffer. Real love doesn't end, real love doesn't hurt. What hurts is ego, the attachment n need to possess by a piece of paper to feel secure, etc. Another example, very good within successful polyamorous couples. They altruistically love each other exactly for who they are and not who they expect each other to be. Truth is everyone changes. Can you love a person's essence? That's forever changing? Versus that secure concept of a person that you love to have by you forever?

@@valvihk3649I’m of the opinion a polyamorous relationship is even harder (not impossible)than a monogamous relationship because it’s hard enough for two people to coexist

😢

You'll receive what you believe. Look to change some beliefs to get your mind to bring more favorable circumstances.