“I have no friends” and why it’s okay 

REAL

too real

Frr. When there are a lot of friends, most likely you dont get to really know each of the person in that group. Also, when you have lots of friends, they tend to gossip a lot of each other.

@@Moon_lulu yes! I agree as a person who had lots of friends

@@Moon_lulu this is true, my ex had a lot of friends and they gossip a lot. lol

I have definitely felt this 😢

If you haven’t experienced this you haven’t experienced life

I totally agree, I feel like that a lot with my siblings. They are very cliquish and exclude me. Even when we're together I don't feel like I am part of their group. I didn't miss them during the pandemic-- it was a relief not to have to socialize with them.

I always say this to myself. It helps not to choose to be with the wrong people and appreciate being with yourself.

me

me

I would say we have way more acquaintances than friends.

Yeah, I believe it is soul-speaking to us that the people around us Are just seeing and reacting to us based on how we look and what we possess. So intuitively we know it and we feel alone even with friends. Some of us need soulful connections, we do not like people who love us based on material possessions and beauty but our mind and soul. We crave it. And that's why most of us choose solitude. I think these souls are heightened souls.

OMG YES BBY

And that's ON PERIOD🥳💅🏻

That's absolutely right mate

this made me feel so much better cause i felt like having more friends made you happier i guess not !!😊

👏👏👏❤️

Now that's the most beautiful line I've ever heard😊😊

part of me still believes it

@@may_0reo816 For the longest time I did too but I’m trying to stop thinking like that. Me and my beat friend from elementary school are now distant and not as close, but that’s only because our interests are different! There nothing wrong with you 🫶🏾

People always leave me especially during times when I struggle the most. It’s always me, me, me. I’m at fault. And I believed them. I always believed that I am the one in the wrong, that I’m such a terrible person to hang out with which crushed my self esteem and made me isolate even more. But if I think about it, were they really my friends to begin with if they leave me when I’m in my most vulnerable state of my life? Am I in the wrong for rejecting my friends love after them confessing to me that they’re into me romantically? Isn’t that my right so how am I bad for voicing my opinion? „You should have been more upfront“ „You‘re too upfront and direct“ OK what am I now? You’re definitely not my friends and never have been.

🎸Roxanne!! You don't have to turn on the red light 🚨🕯️🎤🎼🎵ROXAAAANE🎶🎵🎼

Some friendships last forever

sadly it is.

Yess it tooked me a lot of time. Now i am suffering destroyed phase. 😢

Jesus loves you and he died for you. The Love of God Love is sooo big. He can listen to your sorrow, to your doubt, to your depression, to your joy, to your anxiety... Literally everything ! He cares about you, start to care more about him. Read the Bible if you want to learn more ❤

YES

People are grumpier these days.

i am glad that you feel happy ❤

Are you a misanthrope? That’s what I hate about people so much, to get genuine connection from people you have to be a charismatic person I hate making new acquaintances as much as small talk, it gets annoying after awhile when there’s no connection people are garbage, I would rather have pets then friends anyway especially with my autism. People don’t like me so therefore I hate them back

@@xdrazormon454 Probably. I can fake charisma at times but it is EXHAUSTING. I have a high-level corporate job and I'm the head of two functions so I have to lead many meetings, manage people and interview job candidates. Before and after each meeting, I feel like killing myself. Some people talk about having to "code switch" at work. I have to "persona switch" and maintain this veneer of being neurotypical and "normal." To the world at large I have a dream life making good money, traveling to fancy meetings, traveling between homes and calling the shots. But nobody knows that I am barely able to pull myself together at 8:55 to do a 9:00 meeting (remotely, thank goodness). I'm living proof of faking it 'til you make it.

I dedicate to you the song "Greens and Blues" by the Pixies.

All of that is and was me. Except I am married with kids and still miss "friends" and family (all of them live 12hrs away, 16hrs away or the whole pacific ocean across) thanks for sharing and getting me closer to be ok to be with no friends. I just feel ungrateful to want more people when I have my husband and kids.

💯 %

I have to agree with you

So true! 💯

Ya..absolutely

Solitude and quietness is so serene. I enjoy being an introvert. 💚

@@asiababy-gn3dw I’m sorry to hear that :/ but life is so long we can figure it all out no matter if with someone or alone, in the end we’ll have the people we need next to us.

@@asiababy-gn3dw Got to understand that it isn't a friend's job to pay your bills or babysit you. Part of making friends means you have to learn how to become independent first. If they see that you are a mess, they won't even want to hang out with you. Look at this. Your only friend betrayed you. If you depend on friends now, all they will do is take advantage of you. You aren't gaining anything from having friends and if they barely know you, they aren't going to hold your hands through this. If you are homeless, the #1 rule of survival is not to depend on people you barely know. If you can't impress, you are not ready to gain a friend. It won't make your life better if they turned out to betray you and make you owe them something. Even if you found a friend, it does not mean you will magically get a job interview and pass an elevator pitch. If you are struggling to impress making new people, you won't even be ready to do job interviews. No matter where you choose whether it is job interview or making friends, you got to work on knowing how to take care of yourself. The minute you make friends or go to job interview with the mindset of not wanting to take care of yourself, you will automically be rejected.

@@asiababy-gn3dwI don't want to be rude at all, but thinking you NEED someone is wrong and unhealthy. All you need is yourself. You don't need any other shitty human around you to be strong and to build in your life. All you need is yourself. Period. Most people will let you down. But, if you choose to support yourself, be your own best friend, you will never let yourself down. Stay strong.

hihi, i read all these comments. Actually, i used to have many friends group, but after much loading jobs, i rarely go outside and hang out with my friends. Then nearly i feel behind them and lost in these friends groups. I want to ask how their life, but they dont ask me first. So i leave it as it is. Maybe we are not really good friends of each others. Recently, i focus on studying and working much. Only two friends i knew when we were in primary school, whom i am still keeping contacts with. Less friends, but high quality friendship. A group of old friends who told me that i was so strange with them since i talked to them so politely which they hate. I allowed myself to let it go, no need to change myself for adapting with others. All fine now. Even alone, dont forget to love yourself, please ✓ Nothing is wrong for putting yourself as first priority

Exactly- I have done everything I have wanted to do in my life --

This is so true, when other people in the group talk a lot but you don't have much to say and when they have secrets that they can't discuss in your presence. These hurt more than being alone by yourself 💯

This is why I spent so much time alone when I was at school. I started off in a small group, didn’t like a couple of them and felt lonely when they were all present. I realised I’d rather be alone than with people who I don’t like or who I don’t feel comfortable with.

I have no friends because I'm not much social and I don't know why I'm not comfortable with other Felos. I'm happy when alone

Group friendships are the absolute worse scenario to be in. Its better to have individual friends from different places

This is my dilemma right now. Surrounded by lots of friends but also not feeling like I belong in that group.

I find it hard to see the positives when I'm struggling so much.

same girl

I'm with you

hope you are doing well@@riphugo

Being labeled as complicated is subjective. I've been called too much by some due to my realness and directness. Others love me instantly. Hope you'll find like-minded people ❤.

Such a beautiful thought

‘no one really cares’ is a mind blower but it’s ultimately true. Ppl are too concerned with their own situation (myself included)

but some people really cares, u just have to be comfortable w that

This is called the "Spotlight Effect," and it's a beautiful realization to have.

You gave me a better Insight of something I never expected I would an I am very grateful for your wisdom Thank you❤

yep! like i’ve said in the video, don’t close yourself off from people. being alone has its pros but be open to meeting new people when they come by :)

I love your happiness and being my favorite vlogger friend so much @via.ilyouu ❤ I’ll give this a 10/10

So poignant of you to point out the health consequences of feeling lonely!! Extended periods of isolation and loneliness can be as detrimental to human health as smoking 2 packs of cigarette a day!!! The positive relationships in our lives can truly make a seemingly worhless life of endless suffering feel worthwhile and give us the strength to continue on. Via, I'm so happy that you've come to peace with your relationship to others and with yourself but I also feel very sorry that you had to experience the path that you did to come to this level of self acceptance. It must have been very hard on you in the past, especially when you were a lot younger. I'm sorry you had to deal with it all alone.

That person is literaly God for me :) But i agree so much with you !!!! You’ re right 💯 (sorry for my english I am French).

It’s true but some people just don’t have friends and can’t make them, what are they supposed to do? Force a friendship with people? Hold a gun to someone’s head and say you better be my friend or else 😂

me too. im a junior and i regret being such an awkward person and not building close friends through my first two years of hs. im always getting left out and not really close to anyone. its the worst feeling

@@hvrtrie i'm also a junior too ! rn i'm learning how to be alr with being alone again & also building my confidence back up after being down for a while. ( Back story ) my bf is a senior and he's the only person i'm the closest to.The school we currently go to we both came there last yr & met each other the same yr we were both new. Now i did meet some ppl but they all ended up not be real ppl etc, but the thing is my bf is the one who is more outgoing so he knows more ppl etc which made me feel lonely ( and also bcs when i tried being outgoing it didn't work out which made me depressed for half of this whole month, but i was viewing it in the wrong way. So now i'm really working on bettering my self etc for my future self and ik true ppl will come into my life eventually just how my bf did. The main thing to focus on is really not giving up on yourself

I get you, I’m a sophomore and I hang out with this group of people but they really are not my friends, they all are close with each other but somehow I’m always left in the corner. What hurts even more is when you see the new kid manage to find a friend group almost immediately or super quick, make you feel that there is something wrong with you and that people are constantly judging you, thinking you weird, awkward, etc. It makes me feel better to know that other people feel the same…

Sending you love! You’re not alone ❤

@@Winter3590 thank you so much for this :)) i’m so glad to hear that things are better for you!

Yep. After leaving high school, I feel way less lonely and overall happier at college. I was really tired of the same static environment I think

@@caroline-gx5cs damn Its my last year of high school and I think once I graduate I will be the happiest person ever, coz dealing with ppl who don t give a fuck about u really really sucks. I don t wanna see any of their face I am done with this shit. Just a year to go

@@passionforMed4you sound just like me when I was in highschool 😭 keep going and stay strong ❤

yes this! esp being an outsider as a kid, it’s hard to let that go as an adult :(

I used to feel this way in my early 20s even childhood but I've learned to embrace whatever makes me feel different including interests and way of thunking. I never relate to most people's thought processes and don't feel like keeping up with trends but i just keep telling myself that i am just unique and there's nothing wrong with me. Now in my mid 20s and I don't feel that way anymore. I've fully accepted my fate and however i was goddamn built by the higher power or something lol What i did is to accept whatever's makes me different or uncomfortable about myself which takes tremendous amount of sht in my part. But it's all worth it 😂😂

@@via.ilyouu that's so true

Also u just feel like ur soooo bad or there is snt wrong with u and u just believe u can't even talk with people or do stuff cause u just can't

Ah that’s me

exactly. ❤

Where does one find dependable people lol

i literally do nothing when i’m alone but let my negative thoughts consume me and my being until i can’t take anymore of it ak go to sleep

⁠@@ongakiralife is hard, it’s so hard to be positive most of the time… I hope you find peace and positivity😢

so so so true

Wow. What a comment. I agree!

Same here, but i am also the person who gets surprised when they mention they have other friends, but not because i dont think they cant make friends, but because i get jealous and scared of being abandoned.(Maybe this could apply to some of your friends too)

Once you are in a situation where you feel you need to prove yourself, then don't hang out with them. You will only live a lie pretending to have friends. Don't sell yourself way too high because you don't want to end up lying about what value you have. Like for example, you don't want to end up going into I show you and then messing up with a skill you don't even have. If you hang out with someone who is popular, that is what will make you feel intimated and then that will make your mind think everybody is worthy of friends. If you start with someone who is not popular and does not hang out, then you won't be claiming every person you interact with are worthy of friends. The reason why they were worthy is because they were not desperate. The reason why they were worthy is because they believe in themselves. If you make friends, you got to give a vibe that you also want to be independent. If you give a vibe that you depend on them to pull you out of solitude life, this is when you remind yourself it isn't their job to hold your hands, pay your bills, and babysitting you.

Let’s be friends I don’t want to be alone and meet new people too but it’s a struggle

it's good to see u talking about it via, i used to be dependent and when i realized i should be able to find peace in being alone+enjoying myself i grew up/learned soo much and also that made me better person for those i love.

Honestly, I grew up the same way Via. There were points in my life I didn't genuinely have friends, and it did hurt a lot. Specifically, there were moments where I felt okay and rejoice in being alone, but then there were moments were I felt lonely and I always kept shaming myself about it. I just felt like it was on and off with them. Nonetheless, I was able to find my group of peeps who I'm proud to say I have in my life (although, I have been ghosting them via my stress mechanism....I will get back to talking to them soon 😅, but the way they support me is comforting, but weird admittedly for sure).

I understand entirely every inch of what you are saying. What was said in this video was NOT insinuating that it is better to have no friends. I can you not; my jaw dropped to the floor when I saw you post this video because it is SO prevalent to what I am going through now. My time of loneliness and isolation is only out of depression from "friendship breakups," but I am slowly coming out of it little by little. No, this video is not insinuating that everyone should just cut off people from their life, but it is speaking to those coming out of friendships that made you feel more lonely than when you're alone. My time of loneliness is not because I am a loner, hermit, or whatever people want to say. My time of loneliness, as you said, is to better myself, find who I am, find nurturing and healthy friendships, which is what I desire, and enjoy my solo adventures. I so appreciate you making this video. I am not lonely now because I am unworthy of friends. I am in a time of solitude to build myself up and to find happiness where good friends will come. Thank you! xx P.S. Yes, if you have family, significant other, therapist, etc., that is in your life to be a support system, that is great, but NOT EVERYONE HAS THAT. This video is about not making yourself feel unworthy, as society puts it, when you go through a time of loneliness. You have so much worth; I have so much worth, regardless of who is around you. People don't give you your value. Let's be in a time of quality, wellness, and prosperity in passions together!

@@annawmccauley Well said 😊

So basically to have no friends is fine, to have friends is also fine :)

I've lost my friendgroup two weeks ago, i didn't expected that, so i felt myself bad and sad, like a loser. I only had one online friend supporting me and no one at school, I went to school all this time alone, it affects my life so much. I strive for your actions and hope that I can spend time without friends

@@lsmmhy I can imagine your frustration :( try to think it in a positive way. Honestly I realised that being alone you will give off a more mature aura, you might think it’s embarrassing or loser type but actually it’s not that bad. We tend to overthink a lot without realising and that’s the main reason why we feel this way. I am glad you had someone by yourself side throughout this situation and I hope it gets better. Try to find new hobbies or expand your creativity, trust me I’ll help you ease yourself off negativity

Same also 20 and I feel you really

This is exactly what I’ve been thinking lately.

thank you so much for this, i've been in a really dark place and am an introvert so I have no friends, but i'm realising that its ok.

This is the best mindset ❤

I am struggling a lot to make friends, I was treated so badly in the past that I have little confidence. I don't have anyone in life, only acquaintances. 😢

Yes , but there is thing we call NORM ...and it's very hard to avoid or ignore , cuz you pay . Having friend , even bad and fake ones it easier than not having them . When you don't fit in , and you don't have friends you're out of the NORMS ..and it's hard to deal with .. Yes it's ok in itself , but it's too heavy . Sorry for my bad English .

People are trash. Who cares.

I have been there, I still don't have close friends but there are some with whom I am on friendly terms kinda. It might feel difficult and very dark right now but soon this dark moment will pass away. You will meet some good people later and will soon learn to be happy whether with others or by yourself. You already having a positive thinking about this will help in your healing too. You are already good as even trying to be good is good and I am sure you will become better! Let's never give up!

I too has no friends, so i am thinking of building a society if he/she thinks alone anxious or even depressed can say hii , trust me I will never hurt anybody

Hope you Will find your true friend someday✨

I am in a slightly similar situation. I use to have “friends” in the past, but they cut me off from the group. For me, middle school is where I build the closest friendships with people and felt the most happiness, so I was attached to those middle school friends, long after middle school. In high school, I made friends but I was never really myself with them and we didn’t bond the way I did with my middle school friends. So I would talk to my middle school friends throughout high school and college but my middle school best friend would cut me off completely on August 2021 after leading me on that he wants to rekindle our friendship by meeting in-person. I always knew they were fake and disingenuous people but I let the good memories and attachment I had to them cloud my judgment and let them mistreat me for years until they decided to cut me off from the group. It took a while but I got over it and tried to reconnect with my high school friend group. Things went okay and certain people was mature compared to high school which was great but I can sense there was jealously towards me because I ended up in a better position in life than they did even though we had the same opportunity and I sacrificed hanging out to study while they partied and skipped classes. So I have no friends. I struggled with loneliness and social anxiety for the longest time, but thank goodness I am learning to make myself a better person and just enjoy my life the best I can. I accepted having no friends is okay and I just praying whoever and wherever the right people, the right genuine friend group is for me finds me soon, i don’t reject them or do anything stupid to make them leave and we can enjoy each other’s company.

I want to say that I’m in the same situation as you. Though I do not cut them off completely, I just couldn’t bring myself to be close to them as I used to be. And I have always struggled with making new friends. So it has come to the point where there were nights that I cried so much just bc I felt that I have no friends now. I’m all by myself now. So Via’s video just came at the right time to remind myself that it’s gonna be Ok. I’m growing and healing.

Same here ! Its crazy how lonely we all feel yet theres a comment section full of people going thru similar things, my friends all started college without me and my abandonment issues became so bad, now ive decided to go to a college this year completely alone just to work on myself and choose my own friends for once yk? Loneliness is one of the most depressing feelings in the world but i seriously need to learn that even if i only get a one or two friends that is completely fine. I need to be okay with being alone and not feel constant shame ab it

It's part of the journey my friend, embrace it and don't force it. Maybe it's time to meet new people. Focus on yourself and try new things.

But you are not alone in this situation. Grateful gor this video. Help me a bit to heal.

I spend many years with no friends ,Its ok ,,people are like a trip,they come to your life for a while and left maybe in years or months,some of them we are thankful-for them ,,no one who will be with us rest of our life , Sorry if my English is bad :)

thanks for sharing your story. I'm still growing up as a 16 year old and I wanted to know that I'm not alone in this experience.

@@omilet6658 I have a 19 year old son and he is the life of the party bur very much a loner. You get to know who you really are when you spend time with yourself. Don’t worry about being alone. The people that are supposed to be in your life will be their. And if you have people in your life that leave you will be just fine because you have experience and enjoyed the stressful life without others. Hopefully this makes since. Don’t think about being alone as a bad thing think of it as a time in your life for development and to fall in love with yourself!! 🥰🥰

I find that I spend some time building support community but after two years they are gone. Felt like it's wasting time. So I am back to my loneranger self. 😂

I bet your place is awesome. People who thrive in solitude always have incredibly inviting things around the house. But it's not for anyone else but us 😀

@@harshy4nope as a 26 year old please find people your age and enjoy you childhood!

@@Izzy-gh1yjIs it ok to be friends with people over the age 18 and I’m a minor?✨

omg same :/ i always feel so bad about it as well.

hey😢 same here

@@Lica13684 fellow minor here, I dont wanna be a buzzkill but you can get taken advantage of ive seen my fair share of horrors including an 18 yr old who was a tad creepy

Great point. What is your career

I agree with this I also think that I can't be someone else's best friend because I created my own kinda space yeah this is how I'm feeling

In my case, it seems like everyone has already their own circle of friends and it's hard to be part of an existing circle of people because it feels like I'm out of place

Same! I missed some sort of crucial moment where everyone found a friend group and ended up drifting between the outskirts of different groups

⁠​⁠@@wendyjung4616I relate to this too! Trying to be apart of a existing circle feels so weird and it’s hard to me to fit in. It’s funny cause whenever other people had tried to find into my existing circle with my former friends, they got along better with my former friends than me and it was like I was the new kid.

i'm on the same boat, sister! your comment inspired me so much ❤

@@user-lw5xo9kr3w so glad 🩷🩷🩷

The “I only feel ashamed when I am around other people with friends” part is so true🥺 When I’m in my own company, I just be myself not overthinking things. But whenever people are around, I couldn’t help but to feel ashamed and less than them…it’s a bad thing I know, but I really enjoy my time alone because I didn’t compare myself

Spot on! Also I have noticed most people open to make friends will bring their own dramas/conflicts/problems to the friendship which it's a disadvantage to me as I have my life well organized and balanced. Since we're social creatures that's a primitive behavior but I'd rather to stick to acquaintances :)

I’m with you!! ✨✨✨I’m a great conversationalist and I communicate well, but as I got older. I noticed that people would get jealous because of the attention that I would get and they would try to embarrass me and or make comments about subjects they didn’t understand. I prefer my own company and it’s better for me.

We are selective

yesss me too✨✨

Same. I'm at the point where I'm genuinely content with my own company, but it does hurt when my mum brags to anyone who will listen that my older brothers (both well into their 30s) are still close with all their high school friends. Like yay for them but it always feels like she's saying I'm a failure for not being like them :/

😭😭😭

Agree 😕

Can we be friends

Literally me

Same. I make them, I think we're on the same page, and then they move on. At this point there's no one close to me anymore.

I believe in you. ❤

Hey just letting you know , it will be okay , I know it might not seem like it now , but eventually it'll be okay ❤

Praying for you and your peace! God is there for you!

I am so sorry. I really am. I don't know who you are or what your name is, but I'll think about you and I hope you'll be okay.

I'm so sorry. Sending you lots of love, strength and hugs.

Those aren’t friends. They’re colleagues.

Exactly. Friends and work can't collide. If It Is meant to be, you will keep in touch outside the business, otherwise we are still a billion or more peeps on earth, go on.

Of course colleagues can be friends. Not every nice colleague is your friend automatically, but you technically can make genuine friends at work, depending on the environment of course.

I know many people who’ve made genuine friends at work. Also, when you don’t have friends, it’s easy to get paranoid and think people don’t like you when you start making new ones. Everyone likes you just fine!

That's kinda what i'm going through right now. Im very used to being in a big group but they've all been so fake recently and its really scary

I'm on the same boat

i'm literally going through that phase as well! I was an extrovert from a "cool gurls" group, but they all turned out to be my fake friends. Felt like they were just using me. I've been kicked out of 3 groups in three months😢It's just so hurtful and really sad. Everytime my teacher asks to find a group, they all stare at me weirdly and I'm always the left out one

@@juliegrom that's f up

@@lamaridechambao2105 seriously. yes. i mean now i love being alone so doesn't really matter tho. They're getting scolded from every teacher for being loud and swearing to teachers. Now I feel very glad to break friendships with them lmao.

I feel like one of my best friend's are like not answering text hardly or talking to me anymore but idk what to do. I don't even really consider her my best friend anymore

@@AUGHHHHHBBGIf you haven’t already I would talk to her about it before making a decision. You said you feel like she isn’t rly ur best friend anymore, that partially answers ur question. But I would still communicate to her🫶🏽

​@@AUGHHHHHBBGI was there... it had been going on for years and really sucked. You need to understand that they're also just a person and have their own life, but if they're ignoring you for a long time and not even seek conversation then they're a bad friend. I'd try talking to her about it and if she doesn't care/understand let her go. Either are going to be hard but you'll feel sooo much better after a while :) Good luck

same, I would be reaching out to her but she would not answer me back until a few days later, bc she has a bf and only message’s me about her problems. To be honest I was mad and hurt bc we both known each other since 2nd grade. Rn I am doing things alone and I can say I am still learning about myself and feeling more comfortable and confident 👍 love yourself 💜

I feel like I'm losing my best friend in college. She used to look out for me, always wanted to hang out,talk and always reserved the seat next to her for me. But nowadays I can see that she wants to have new friends and join to new groups, while ignoring me. She doesn't talk to me much anymore and when she does usually it's about her boyfriend. Apart from being "best" idk if we're even friends anymore and seeing her running for different girls on recess, not even looking back hurts so much. I feel like a disposable friend that she used until she met new ones. We've been so close for five years and this is our 6th. Our school numbers are back to back so I'm going to see her every day, every class, every exam until the day we graduate so I'm worried if I cut relationship it's gonna be awkward for the rest 3 years. If anyone read until here, what do you recommend? I'm too emotional to think clearly

♥️♥️

❤

Same here....(36) and it is the most painful thing I've ever been through. I also had to quit my job and question when/how I will meet new ones if not through work. Lot of unknowns in the air, best of luck to you !

I concur.

I did the same in my 30s.

I was in a toxic friends grp where they used to uk think I'm not in their level? Idk what made them think that but i can say I was not involved in all those friends activities normally they do, Maybe bec I liked my zone even if it kinda felt lonely I had my bestfriend but sad thing is she turned toxic too and I had to break our friendship,ngi i really miss everyone all those fun even if for a small time I miss but it won't be justice for my younger self if I get myself back into a toxic circle of people so yaa life has and will be lonely for people like me but that doesn't mean we are weak we are just peace loving and anyhow we meet kind people's~ In the end mate we online friends are with you🫶

@@prangya44 I can relate to this so much... I don't know why people think class is everything.. I feel our peace of mind is more important than any friendship or relationship... Thank you 🫶

@@070kd ikr they used to judge me on my study level I won't say I was bad but not that topper kinda good too but I was blind enough not to see that for straight 5 years..

@@prangya44 that's just terrible... I mean not everyone is book smart... I've met alot of people who aren't necessarily book smart, but they knew alot of things I didn't yk... and that just goes to show that being smart, doesn't make up for a good personality..

@@070kd facts ✨✋😌

Your story is so similar to mine. I lost most of my friends due to being traumatised and depressed. And struggled to make any new ones, I'm not sure why, I often wonder if people think I'm weird or something. I have started to think I'm just meant to be a lone woman with animals, who I get on much better with than a lot of people. I would like to have a few local friends too though, people who like and accept me whether I am depressed or not.

@@katec9893 Wow yess You totally get it. Being traumatized and isolated during those teenage years, those key socializing, developmental years feels very damaging to how I process socializing now. Like I have to work harder than other people and over think more. Some days I just am working very hard to keep myself together and my critters love me regardless. Their consistency is comforting. It is SO hard to make new friends. Especially ones that understand. Just knowing someone's out there to grab coffee with every now and then would be a nice feeling. Honestly knowing you relate so much makes me feel less alone, though I am so sorry you are going through the same struggle.

I’m the same way. If I want to go out and do things if I don’t have a friend or people I can hang out with I become less motivated to do it. Especially going out to eat alone

i struggle with making friends bc im always afraid of not even being considered a 2nd choice bc in middle school i was always the last person to get picked when it came to choosing partners or being in groups@@katec9893

Same. As also a shy person making freinds is kinda of challenging. But I have also realized that sometimes freinship can make you be conformist and streap away your identity and value as a person. Being in a toxic freindship and now out. I can feel that I live a life where I can fully be myself without validating my opinions from another person.

@@irambonajasmine8155 You explained it so well, I agree. Friendship can strip someone of who they are. Also came out of a toxic friendship not too long ago, and I find myself even more liberated. It’s nice to be able to learn more about yourself as time goes on.💯💯

Yeah, I hate we associate doing certain things with friend groups😟 I am going through a phase of my life where I am lonely and have only a few friends (which idk how long the friendships will last-hopefully mire than a couple of years🙏) and now with new years eve I feel really pressured to go out with friends. It is not like I don't want to but I believe nobody will invite me unless I invite ppl- and that is always very stressful for me. In adittion to this, I have about five college projects to hand in until the beginning of january. But the problem is that I put this pressure in myself bc this is what is socially accepted and if you don't go out with friends on the new year's eve, ppl will find it very strange but won't try to actually help you. I live in a small town where I grew up. Thankfully I have my parents and my sister by my side🙏. Here ppl associate new year with going out with friends for drinks and clubs and it honestly leaves ppl like me apart. In your case, however, if you have a couple of childhood friends that you still feel very comfortable with, maybe you could do what I did on my bday party. I went out for dinner with two childhood friends, my cousin and her girlfriend. They got on really well with each other that we started hanging out a lot this year☺️

I relate to this. I been lonely in the friendship space all my life as well. Yes, I had friends in elementary but they wasn’t really my friends, it was just people I associated with during school hours. I never really had “real” friends until middle school, but I never really cared for friends back then, I kept to myself and focused on school and I was fine. In middle school, things started to change cause I was in a new school and I started thinking about having friends. So I met my middle school best friend after play fighting in the playground. Apparently he had no friends too. We talked after and we shared the same interests and quickly became best friends. He actually introduced me to the complete world of video games as well as expanding on my interest in superheroes. Things were going good in our friendship and it looked like I found a friend for life. Unfortunately, I didn’t know this but he was the most hated and most bullied kid in school, teachers, other students and staff didn’t like him. Even the special education kids bullied him. So one day when we was walking and talking in the playground, the special ed kids playfully attacked my friend from behind. When they saw me, they greeted me with handshake. I guess my friend was pissed because the special ed kids didn’t attack me too. I think this the first seed of jealously and hatred my friend started to feel towards me. Things got worse as time went on, the popular girls would hug me and say “ew” to him and the popular boys would ignore me and give me a handshake. Despite the way everyone treated him, I never treated my friend negatively and always considered him an equal. I guess it wasn’t enough because he wanted my life I guess. So my friend started doing shady stuff, he lied to the teacher on me, accusing me of doing something wrong and when I confronted him about it, he was smirking like it was a joke. I let it slide but looking back down, I should have stopped being friends with him. Unfortunately, my goofy ahh remained friends with him and in middle school, there was no other options because the majority of the boys were troublemakers while I was a goody two shoes. Not only that but when me and him were cool, we would have some great talks about topics we both enjoy unlike anyone else I met, so I felt attached to him despite him being a complete asshole. The sad thing I thought he would mature and change but he just got worse, at least towards me. After he ended our friendship, I was completely alone and hasn’t met anyone who shared the same interests we did or cared enough to want to be my friend. It hurt when I saw my friend hanging out with other people and wishing they were my friends because we shared the same interests and if they put their jealously towards me aside, we could have great times. I eventually got over it and now I am chilling. I am glad I am not friends with him anymore, I have matured and learnt a lot. I think it’s better to be alone than to be in a friend group with people who secretly or openly are jealous of you and despise you. That’s why now, even though I have no friends yet, I am happy by myself and rather have genuine, loving friends in my life. I know they are out there and can’t wait until I find or they find me.

proud of you too love! but trust me, your people will come someday but as of now, you gotta live your best life 🩷🩷

@@via.ilyouu 🫶🥹uk i always asked myself why people are afraid to be alone?? Like it doesn't make u look like u are weak bec we fight alone we cry alone we admire alone like that we shine alone so why can't we normalize being alone? Ik being depressed typa lonely is kinda bad but then it's different right? Why people just assume u are not a good/kind/fun person to hangout with just because you like being in peace?? Like whyyyy

@@prangya44my thoughts exactly.

@@prangya44 people who judge others for being alone most of the time, i feel, are actually projecting their insecurity i.e., the fear of being seen alone

@@hopefaraway_ facts 😌✋✨

Hey your not alone in this i just unfriended my uni friends and im alone all the time sometimes its good but some othet times its very challenging

@@ayra5964 oh thank u, it is reassuring to know other ppl feel similar things. hope ur doing well with uni and everything 🤎

Keep going ❤❤❤

@@emilymiles1219 Thank you 🥹🖤

This reminds me of a book called "The Little Prince". Hopefully you find good friends you feel safe to be around with! 🤍

Well said. ❤

thank you for this because i am dealing with the same thing currently. I guess its because we also want stability and it seems like we search it in friendships?

@@ella7513 Right! To live a stable life, it would mean to have stable friendships. But obviously that’s not always the case. Sometimes being alone is what makes you stable.

@@tiff7080 We all live a life where even making friends is all about making a good impression. When you go to job interview, that same rules also apply as well. In job interviews, there is a term called elevator pitch where you have to impress a job interviewer in a short period of time. For you to have someone to adore you, you need to adore yourself. If people sense you are desperate to get out of solitude life, you will not impress them. So if you enjoy solitude life, you can be at a right track because nobody likes to be your babysitter 24/7. So if you give an impression that you like your solitude life, then people do respect you. You may have long ways to go so if you got nobody, you just need to be willing to look out for yourself and not ever let it be there job to get involve. If they voluntarily be there for you, then great. You have a stable friend.

I relate to this. I always gave too much attention and care to others and when they failed to do the same in return for me, it made me so sad and disappointed. Which eventually made me realize that I don't need to do all that, and that it's okay to be alone. Sometimes being alone is the best thing.

wow how do u do that emoji. So cool

​@@Moon_luluYESS I NEED TO KNOW TOO

@@Moon_luluhahsh "cute heart symbols" on Google 😂 select, copy, that thing