3 Things People Don't Understand About INFJs 

Haha if only vegetables would work! :-)

😂😂🤣

Totally agree. "You all just sucked out my energy like vampires!"

Stimuli overload

If vegetables were the fix my life outside my cozy chair would be amazing! I dont think the veg is working....more kale maybe? Coconut oil? Maybe an essential oil roller? Oh wait, we are made this way

Nothing wrong with that! When you have to recharge, you have to! You end up better for it!

Preachhhhh !

In times like those, I get asked if something is wrong or if I'm OK.

Lololol I also use that word - wavelength.

I just say, "yes." or Smile and nod. It really annoys them...

That's such a great feeling!

Amen

💜🙌🙌💜

It is good to find your tribe.

Same!

Ha! I don't know if our brain is slow, but certainly the connection from brain to mouth in terms of forming thoughts can slow to a crawl! Thank you for commenting!

I had no idea what "category" I was untill recent that non categorisation was what allowed me to grow, without knowing where the end or "roof" is Where I'm going with this is that the ability to bridge brain to words, I call it the highway, and when we work on ourself and feel the flow we open new lanes and as we observe this freeing of the highway we can work through "slow brain" and realise how to maximize what we have, and in no way is it an inadequate mind 😂 Mushrooms fast track this self seeing and self observation, but that is just my experience 🤙 Thankyou for this video and allowing us to read you, great to see another complex lifeform ✌️👍 Point of the story we are not slow 😂 quite the opposite!

@@DavidBadurina YES YES !!

True indeed

My brains as fast as light,very difficult to slow down !!

It's a thing, not gonna lie!

OMG Right!!!

Uani P, I don't think I'm an INFJ, although I have most of the qualities of one... deep conversations are still my favorite kind of conversations. I find that a lot of people aren't ready for, or don't gravitate to such deep conversations. And that's okay. I don't expect everyone to think and feel the way I do 😉.

Find yourself an ENFP that can read.

i know right !!!

Thank you for understanding

amen

The whole world is crazy

Don't watch the news. :-)

Says the minority always.

Thank you Jeff, I appreciate you! Happy for you!

I found out a bit later too Jeff, welcome to the Club! Only the awakened admitted lol

I cried too

Mate, I wish RU-vid would allow me to give this a heart rather than just a mere thumbs up. I'm right where you were two years ago (plus the ten months ago you made the comment, of course). Nearly forty nine and finally I get to not feel so guilty merely for being who I am. And SOOOOOOOOO many comments up here from other people who've recently made their own similar discovery and experienced exactly that same sense of relief at the point of 'self-realisation'. I think part of the problem is that this 'industrialised' society only really truly caters for the mode average type of personality - the cookie cutter type, or the average Joe. Don't fit that mould and you're always gonna feel like you're standing on the outside with your nose pressed up against the window, looking in on a really cool party where you didn't get an invite. When I clicked on that first INFJ related clip that made it though on my RU-vid feed, it was as though I'd been stumbling and grasping around in the dark all my life for answers as to why I've always felt like a square peg in a round hole ......... and then somebody handed me a REALLY powerful set of night vision goggles.

😘

That happens! We go for the deep conversation!

😆yep!

*hugs* i know how you feel man

lol so true

In highschool I once told a friend (ENFP) I felt awkward how people would just stare blankly at me while I talked sometimes, thinking there was something seriously weird/wrong with me, and she said “it’s because they have no idea what you’re talking about and it completely went over their heads.” XD

Ha! Great analogy!

Yep...after doing all I can to make relationship work...if not needed, there's no reason to hang around! You will not be able to find me. I have to erase everything.

😣 yes especially narcissists an self haters

@@veramariecano289 THIS sadly people don’t realize this about us until it’s too late. Door slam. Permanently.

YESSS!!!

Being an INFJ in your 40s gives you a different type of perspective, I've found.

Girl I seriously wow just yeah hahahs same thing happened with me. I wanted to help this person and help fix their issues and it was emotionally and physically a train wreck one right after another ya know

How did you work on the assertiveness or self care?

@@flouncymagoo9766 A lot of reading to understand how my head works, and a lot of honesty in dealing with it. For assertiveness, I've been a martial artist for most of my adult life, and that comes with a measure of practical problem solving, managing people and situations, and having to see things very clearly and objectively. That has helped a great deal.

@@DavidBadurina we in the spiritual world call that "shadow work" self reflection and research on why you are the way you are and being brutally honest with yourself so can accept it work on it change it and better yourself with the knowledge you've gained

It happens to me all the time! I don't know if it's just being a warm/welcoming person or if there really are people with zero sense of societal boundaries out there? I'm very grateful someone is that trusting of me, and I'm very careful with it, but I can usually detect if there's an ulterior motive going on. Those are the ones I'm a bit shorter with. Thank you for watching and commenting!

It's your intuitiveness and your introvertness which is a calming to the talking.. the j for problem solving will happen later in the interaction.. example you: Susy long time no see Suzy: not much just my daughter is driving me nuts You: How so.. what happened Susy?{as you put your arm over her shoulder} (Suzy will open up because of your eagerness to learn what was bothering her.. the calming vibes that you sent her.. and the intimate conversation you had with her... basically your IN of INFJ) Introvert will be more calming with not having as high energy Extrovert would be more hyper friendly and caring but might be perceived not as calming

Correct

Lol same goes to me, they tell me their private stories 😂😂😂 and i get confused since they barely even know me, yet they choose to talk to me about things they only tell a close friend

Truth! Thanks for watching!

@go away 明 that's the fun part of it. Imagine doing your favourite activity, it's draining but in a good way and you enjoy doing it. :) It's just that all of us have different preferences. Adding a new philosophy or thinking about a concept takes alot of time and if I have another person to bounce ideas with(talk with), it's more efficient and helps alot. Both in short term and long term because in my case, I tend to reflect upon that conversation for some time until I get everything out of it.

It's a drug...better than chocolate...

When you get back as much as you contribute to a good conversation, it's truly a gift.

That is definitely true. But as soon as I'm a liiiiiittle comfy, gimme the deep stuff!

So TRUE!

I want to hear everything about you,what’s important to you, what you love and hate, what makes you you. But I’m not telling anything about me. Also, I find people telling me their life stories with minutes of meeting me even if I’ve told them nothing about me.

I talk on a highly personal level very easily but if people took the time to analyse what I share (which they don't) they'd realise I dont say anything I'd be overly sensitive about if it wasnt well received

Absolutely. I feel odd when someone opens up extremely fast too. I end up questioning their motives

That's the trick right there, Eric! Thanks for watching!

We are often way better at communicating in written word as opposed to spoken. It has a lot to do with our cognitive process as INFJs and wanting the words to come out JUST RIGHT. Very observant! :-)

Its a worldwide video..of cours in evry country theres an INFJ.. Extrovert are million or billion...introverts is just thousands..

Asian Kepler no, we’re billions too

Yes as an INFJ I think so. There are this pattern when we walk. Not exactly the same but something in the way we talk.

You aren't alone at all! Appreciate you!

We aren’t alone, but heaven forbid we form a group. Nobody would attend because we’d rather be home by ourselves.

@@bettye444 Bettye. You are so RIGHT! Nobody would show !#

Stoney boy Curtis you certainly are not alone

That works!

Ha! Thank you! Nothing wrong with embracing some weird.

Well I am glad it resonates at least! Thank you for this comment! :-)

So much inner conflict, right?

That’s me Casper the friendly ghost 👻

Lol yeah people keep thinking in extroverted ...kinda not really , I just have tolerance I guess

When I tell people I am introverted, they don't believe me. Then I go hiding and they can't understand why.

Right?!!it is like it was a wasted time,everytime,so its best to spend time with myself

Happy INFJing right back at you Kaileigh! Thank you so much for sharing this! I appreciate you!

Facts 💯 I'm in the same boat ♡

Whether you realize it or not!

@@DavidBadurina Yes. It can drive me crazy. Just imagine how my partner must feel, except I suspect he is one as well with a few other descriptors. Oh God!!!!#

That sounds like a classic INFJ/ESFJ conversation! Haha! Thank you for commenting! Appreciate you hanging out here!

@@DavidBadurina correct 👍😁...thank you for sharing...just found your channel and everything you're talking about is so me...love that 👍

Sums it up!

😂 i can relate because this is so me..

Ha ha ha...Exactly

Thank you for this comment, Marty!

What really helped me w/small talk was being told people are using whatever they see in common w/you to start building a connection. Once I viewed it as relational, I felt freer to find less common commonalities & stop being so bored :)

Thank you so much! I appreciate you!

We're ALL weird!

INFJ male with INTP wife-to-be. Great pair, though according to socionics ISTP women (kind of hard to find) are the perfect for us.

ROFL 🤣

Telemahos Telemahou The perfect fit is the one you have. Please don’t second guess your marriage because of a theory. In the end, you are your own person, and she is hers. A typology theory didn’t choose you, you two chose each other.

I love me some INTP’s!

We all have 3 noses here! 😂👃👃👃 We just affectionately refer to ourselves as fellow aliens. 👽 Glad to have you here, it’s never too late to discover and improve!

@@DavidBadurina 5th time watching and I don't know if I am laughing or crying. Thank you. Simply fantastic.

teambeining Valid point! I’ve been known to be backwards. Often. :-)

@@DavidBadurina Yeah. And I don't think I'm dyslexic anymore!

It's ... SO ACCURATE! Hahaha. Thank you for this comment, you made my morning! *runs off to search dark energy and quantum theory*

RIGHT?! Omg it’s like me and my mother... I’m all (I’m going into film) “wow this movie I just watched really says something about human nature and the references to such and such classical philosophy was so fascinating if a little shallow...” and she’s like “so I saw this cute dog today...” It.... can be aggravating when you’re unraveling the mysteries of the universe in your head and your conversation partner is interrupting your thoughts to talk about shoes :|.

i have one of those! how do you deal?

@@RamonGoudeauDoneX2 Just enjoy the strengths of their personality! I find ESFJs to be pretty grounding for me. They're very good at living in the present moment, let that happen from time to time, it'll help you!

Today at work there were just too many people on the shift trying to engage me in some game they were playing on their phones and I started to think about how many stars there are in the universe and if there is an end to them but how can they be infinite? Or maybe they are? How do we know unless we measure them? But we can't! Oh, I think I just got sidetracked...why was I posting this again?

Thank you for this! :-)

@@DavidBadurina No worries! I'm just doing what we infjs do! 😁 I did just think of something else that I have come to understand. Because we are so deep and intense, it can be very overwhelming for us sometimes. That's why it is so important to relax and not get so deep all of the time. Besides, we can intuitively read people, which means that we can learn all kinds of skills and abilities from people and that can greatly benefit us! So my hubby is an enfp and not as emotional as me but I need his calmness and logic to balance me out. Also, if our natural traits were more of the norm, how sucky would that be? I love that I can read people, I just choose not to do it all the time to give my brain some me time! Hopefully this makes sense! Just be sure to focus on yourself, it's exhausting and soul draining to constantly try to help or read people all the time. Knowing when to shut that off takes time but it allows you to learn to live in the moment and enjoy it.

"..natural theraphists and counselor.. " yeah, finally i understand why people share their deepest thought or experience that they won't share with others, even though we are not even close or just an acquaintance. I do keep secret well, but sometimes i just don't understand why to they keep telling me their secret/ problems when i never curious to ask. I think after i understand better about my personality, it might be because INFJ person is really have deep thought and empathy, so people really do feel comfort when sharing their secret/ problems with us. It can be overwhelming sometimes though.

Well shucks, thank you! A steady diet of donuts and coffee seems to do the trick! ;-)

@@DavidBadurina It's all the preservatives in both. Personally I'm a fan of diet soda - makes me glow in the dark too like a real alien. :)

Ever since I discovered the INFJ and the MBTI, I have found many INFJ's around me and a very common trait is that we all have stopped aging at 25, and aging does not resume until the 60s, though truth be told we are now ascending into an age of gold, where technology has made aging a personal choice and if you so choose you will never grow old. INFJ's are just ahead of the curve.

@@DavidBadurina i think it's being physically active too lol

@@krayzeeasskris INFJ here and I'm 43 still regularly carded. I've also noticed that a lot of us have very striking eyes such as David here

Hi Paul! Thanks so much for commenting! Might I suggest checking Area 51? ;-)

The whole point of being an INFJ if you ask me is the connection with the universe and the unseen. If we fit in we would not see it as easily.

lol.

@@DavidBadurina no, not there.... hahaha...:)

I think it's four?

@@DavidBadurina Yeah that sounds right 🤣🤣🤣

I'm so gonna use this line! I could literally not care less about sports. So dumb.

I actually like sports! It’s something to do with friends/family when I’m watching and when I’m REALLY into it it’s one of the ONLY ways to shut my stupid brain off. Granted, I was raised on college football because my dad played for the UW huskies (and briefly for the Philadelphia Eagles) and my younger sister was a damned athletic wunderkind (she got all the talent) so I’m a bit biased, ha ha. I also used to play team sports when I was younger but I’ve come to realize I do better in individual activities where dedication and focus (and no having to deal with -other humans- in a semi-intimate situation) are a major factor. Things like fencing, archery, and even yoga. It’s also nice to engage in Se in a healthy way and again, to shut your damned brain off! All that being said, I couldn’t care less about the POLITICS of sports, ha ha. It’s basically jock gossip, lol. Edit: there are actually a higher number of INFJ athletes in individual sports than you might think :)

Sports talk is the absolute worst thing in the history of conversation. Nothing makes my eyes glaze over more.

That's awesome! That's the kind of thing we pick up with intuition. Great stuff thank you for commenting!

My mom's an INFJ and she has guessed people's pregnancy before they themselves knew several times.

@@medhavigupta6146 That's fantastic!

I was thousands of mikes away (in a different country) and I knew my grandmother died before anyone told me. Even stranger, I knew months before that she was going to die soon even before anyone knew she was sick (also I was still in a different country).

Intuition is 60% experience, 30% pattern recognition, and 10% ability to see the future.

So true

That time in solitude is critical for INFJs! Thank you for watching and commenting!

Adore my INTJ family and friends!

Thank you so much for this Jenn, and I'm so glad you've pulled out of this as well! I appreciate you!

I mean like anything it depends on the personality, right? As long as two people get along and understand each other, type doesn't matter. :-)

I was just thinking that the MORE people have in common and understanding of each other the better a successful and happy relationship:-)

No, I think we would be too much.Probably that’s why there are so few of us. My hubby is the opposite of me (don’t know his type) it can be very refreshing to see that he doesn’t consume himself with all the feels in the world. I don’t have to read him because his energy is quit stable and I like it but I also wish he could understand me more when I’m spiraling away into destructiveness

I had a first date last week with a younger man. We clicked because he is an introvert like me. I asked him to take the 16 personalities test and he obliged cause he’s cool like that and he showed as an INFJ-T. I did a little happy dance. I think it is a great attribute to at least have your starting letter as I (not E).

Um...rethink that maybe...

Silence is really quite lovely!

I just spent a week doing it! Haha. You aren't kidding!

Except here cuz...this is our Dominion!🤣🤣🤣

This is SUCH a feeling! I'm so sorry that you've experienced that loss because it's so hard on so many levels. I get that. And the constant contradiction (wanting to fix, wanting to be free or can't tolerate the fake but they can't handle the truth of it) is SUCH a mood. I understand this on such a deep level. Be strong and be you. I appreciate you!

To some, that's the important stuff!

Thank you so much for hanging out and watching, I appreciate you!

@@DavidBadurina honestly, gotta agree, he seems like he has a lot of my own movements, lol

Bjorick Thank you! :-)

I'm 70 years old and female, a writer and INFJ and I now have my best way to describe who I am because of this authentic video! We do feel alien. The brain won't stop functioning even if we haven't discovered where to place that word or concept or puzzle piece but the JOY when it gets laid down!

Very true!

Aloha! :-D

Yea. That would be cool. 😎

Haha, it's what I do!

Draining indeed, especially taking in emotions and concepts subconsciously! Good on you for an excellent profession!

Aliens Unite! You got it! So glad you enjoyed, I appreciate you!

lol. Yes. Same. Hilarious endeed - (if it was not so that in my case, I could not be more harmed by it all then I am being!)

I do enjoy that! I may steal that one myself!

Elfen41 you know, it’s interesting that you use the term “surface dwellers” because it reminds me of an analogy I’ve made before to describe my experience vs that of other people (and I bring it up because I think you and other INFJ’s will relate to it). What I came up with is the image of a sunny beach next to a deep, fathomless sea. The beach I conceptualized as relating to casual living, surface-level emotions, taking only superficial interest in things, etc. Dull, flat, boring (I’m also not a fan of the sun). I’m biased but BLECH. The sea, on the other hand, is where the mysteries are, the darkness, the intensity so many people find “weird” or “too much,” obsessive interest, the source of artistic inspiration, the private and sometimes murky and dangerous recesses of the innermost psyche... you know, light stuff like that, lol. Now applying this metaphor to real people, someone like my mother (ESFJ) would spend most of her day on the beach, hanging out, sunning herself, basically just... not doing anything interesting (to me). She might dip her toes in but the water is “too cold” or “dark and scary” (and why would anyone want to be in there? It’s so dark and darkness is bad!). My sister (for what it’s worth, she’s an ENFJ) can fit pretty comfortably in both worlds. Me (and other INFJ’s?) though? I’m like a selkie, lol. If you’re unfamiliar with selkies, they’re mythical creatures from Irish folklore that live their lives in the sea as seals, but have the ability to shed their skin and transform into humans and come onto dry land (but their true home is in the water and they’ll pine for the sea until they can return to it). It’s.... a pretty melodramatic metaphor and I’m kind of loathe to compare us to magical creatures because lord knows we get enough of THAT, but it just fit with the nature of an INFJ, a person whose “habitat” is considered unusual and unknown and “weird” to outsiders. Of course, this strongly reflects how I was treated as a kid growing up (yup, alien-or freak) and I don’t pretend to deny that I don’t have some pretty deep-seated resentment toward the “normies,” but hopefully you might get a kick out of this anyway :).

That's.... True lol

lol...I always say "man you people are something else"

Oh my gosh, that's so funny and too true! I was always saying to my daughter "Humans seem to do this..." Or "Humans seem to do that..." One day she goes "Mom, you know you're human too right?" I couldn't identify. I was like "Well, technically, that is true... But overall, no." 😆 lol.

So glad it resonated!

That's just the right amount of deep! Sometimes friends don't get it, I ran into a lot of that when I was in school.

"Lame" is about the best description of that I can think of!

I definitely think that's part of it, but that's true of most people. Experience helps no matter what and to gain wisdom you have to go through some things, particularly adversity. It's not just for INFJs, that's for anyone. For INFJs, we often have a hard time because of our desire to fix people/situations.

Gut shot!

So good. Well, at least if with it you mean what I understand by it. For me to remember things they have to be things with include feeling.

Yaaaaaa

I have Mercury in Pisces in the 12th house, and let me tell you, it looks like I have bad memory. Sometimes I even think I do. But it's just that only visuals and emotionally tied informations will stay with me. The rest falls into my unconscious lol.

Hi Maddie - I experience this too! I usually let people know that I'm someone who needs some quiet time and I'd LOVE to hang out just can't do it frequently. To help them understand I value them, I try to hang out in small groups, one-on-one more often, or ask them to schedule a hang out day for the following week or what have you, and to help me, I try to control how much of that time I spend out and about. There's a super happy medium where you can value them and their time, and conduct yourself so you are still not overstimulated. You can do it! Find the balance!

Haha not much these days!

It's not that bad where I am. I still care about what other INFJs might consider mundane because I live in a mundane world so I have adjusted.

That was always a dreaded thing! Being called to ANYONE'S office!

David Badurina Yeah... now I understand why it was so traumatic.

It's definitely a thing.

Yes well stated!🧙‍♂️

Thank YOU for this fantastic comment! I'm so thrilled it resonated with you! My partner is an ESFJ so ... yeah. OMG yeah. I appreciate you! Thank you so much for watching!

We’re all friends here!

I'm glad it's an explanation that worked for you, Ankita!

Thankfully, I got some confidence and asked if anything was wrong and I quote "my intuitiveness kicked in". now that they said np, i feel better

I'm so glad something I said helped and resonated with you! Glad it worked out, too!

Hopefully, without green antennae and all that!

Thank you so much! I'm glad it resonated!

Sometimes it's misunderstood, absolutely!

Haha Bonnie I try! Thanks for watching!!

Glad to hear it resonated!

Haha "Social called out" is fantastic!

David Badurina 😂 thanks!

I hear that!

I've been there. Just have to relax and understand how you work. It does get better when you're able to get a grip on that!

Thank you Lorena! I appreciate you!

It does indeed!

Thank you so much for watching and commenting! I appreciate you!

Thank you so much! I'm so glad it resonated with you!

Yea. He talked a lot about brain: but it is about a lot more then brain, isn't it? :) Greetings

You are not alone, you are okay, and you have started a journey! These are all great things! Read, research, understand yourself, and you'll find that balance. Thank you so much for this comment, I appreciate you!

Precisely right! Glad it resonated!

Absolutely right, dishonesty is a big no-no!

Thank you, Ashlyn! I appreciate you!

Agreed!

Ah yes...the story tellers...🧙‍♂️

Awesome, Mary!

That's far away but if I'm ever out that way, I'm always down for digging into the deep topics! Thank you so much for hanging out with me here though!

Words well said! There's so much more to an individual than just the "INFJ", but there are a lot of commonalities between how we process and perceive the world. I think that commonality has us gravitating toward INFJ self-growth. We are ALL individuals and human but finding any bit of common ground is sorely needed these days, I think! Thank you so much for commenting!

I have tried the big five personality test and it isn't really that accurate for me

Yes, I agree. Well said:)

I took this test like 6 times from ages 18-33 and each time I came back INFJ ...I was so disappointed 😩

Thank you, I don't know either why to glorify this " type " of personality I obviously have. I simply don't get it. It is one thing to be openminded and sensibel, but I don't like the way I am categorized, ..Tests everywhere, I even went to a psychiatrist, he subscribed Ritalin/ methamphetamin( I don't know the correct english word for it..😝) And I joined a group, unfortunately that was simply an attempt for those people to glorify themselves. I wish you all the best , thank you for your post😇

Thank you for being here with me!

I think it's like ... four? No. Eight? Whatever. ;-)

My day job is all about patterns and pattern recognition!

That's a great addition to the list! YES!

Greetings my friend!

I agree with that, it's hard to dive straight into deep stuff because I need to get a feel for the other person as well. If they're more interested in talking about their favorite hand cream, I typically avoid probing deeper. :-)

Small groups work!