Here's everything he's saying in a nutshell. As long as the woman is talking(asking you to treat her better;crying over you;repeating herself for the 1000x) you got a shot. When she shut up.....IT'S OVER!
An elderly lady once told me. When a man think the grass is greener on the other side, and he jump the fence... let him. But make sure the gate is lock when he try to come back. Cause a real man won't go to the other side let alone peep to see what the other side looks like
Kim Marie I had someone tell me something similar, except that he WILL look over the fence - only to see what his neighbor is doing to get that yard so green. He said if men had the same pride in their relationships with women as they do their landscaping, vehicles & livelihoods, if they were as competitive about keeping their women satisfied as their goods maintained, divorce would become obsolete. The gates wouldn't need locks?
This is s True I dated a bomb for years and once I decided I deserve better and would no longer settle I met my wonderful Husband and today we are 5 years strong my soulmate a true gentleman
Not all men are like that... Some of us actually treat you better the second go round because we initially thought that we would never get you back... If a man looks at you as weak if and when you take him back for a second time, then he viewed you as weak from the very beginning the first time
@@reneerios9233 that's right. I got tired of being the guys convenience. We are no longer friends because of his actions. I went no contact and blocked him on everything and I feel amazing. I cut that last but of contact that gave him what he wanted. I was just a convenience for him fir when he got bored or felt smothered by his new woman. I got tired of the I'm busy excuses, the ghosting, hot n cold, pointless texts, and the back and forth. I realized that I'm worth more and each day I'm more confident, I'm loving myself and God has restored me. Hes mad now that hes blocked and i never replied to him yet he gave excuses when he did the same to me and said I'm busy and all that. The tables have turned and I'm not even doing it to get him mad or anything I did no contact for me and my self worth. Once we done then they get mad
I agreed with almost everything except in reality, most good women genuinely in love probably don't have a back up man waiting in the wings that they will move onto immediately, nor will they start sleeping around after a break up. They will just get on with taking care of business, families, kids, work, home etc... through the healing process. It could take them years before they'll be ready to date again.
This is what my mom said: when a woman leaves for herself, she ain't goin back. I'm a 50 year old grandma of 3 and that's what I tell my daughters. a relationship with God and a healthy relationship with self will determine all the others.
To those ladies going through the breakup blues right now, you got this!! It's difficult at first, but it's totally worth it in the end. At first, I felt like it hurt to breathe without him, but I knew deep down I deserved better so I kept pushing through it. And let me tell you, once you finally liberate yourself from him, it feels like being born all over again. The world looks brighter, your motivation comes back, you become 100x more productive, you glow differently, and the list goes on. I know it's difficult right now, but you can do it! Feel it, cry it out whenever you need to, and I promise you'll feel better soon. I just woke up one day and suddenly felt better, as if I had snapped out of the emotional dependency I had on him. Amazing feeling. You'll get there too! Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to. Much love.
I needed this right now. This wasn't a relationship. Just a friendship. Had slipped texting him again, but I deleted the messages. The friendship was already over. I deserved better. Because he didn't deserve my love. And I felt like I was doing too much. So right now, I'm preoccupying myself. It feels great.
I’m currently in a phase where this guy has continuously broken my heart, lied to me, ghosted me and led me on. I gave him the best parts of me and I was good to him. I’m confused and I always asked myself what it is that I did wrong to make him hurt me like this. My heart is grieving because I thought that he’d never be the one to hurt me, and he did. My feelings are all over the place and I almost considered suicide as a way out, but I didn’t. Thank you for the words of encouragement.
Ellie Adams, you're absolutely right. When a woman is really tired of the foolishness, she will leave without warning. The real issue is that the man needs to seriously grow up and I don't blame any woman to stick around for him to do that because most of the time, they never do....my mantra is "keep it moving people!"
Joseph Lindsey but a man who values something takes care of it, does he not? That fancy new car or truck? Always buying a new part? Taking it to the car wash? Waxing it? Getting it detailed?! Gee, if a man took care of his woman the way he takes care of his car or gives the same attention to his woman the way he does his favorite sports team , maybe he would still have his woman! A man needs to value his woman the same way! And no, we don’t all go into relationships knowing everything and we often make mistakes, but usually when a woman is ready to leave, it’s after she has exhausted all the tools in her arsenal to make it work and get him to see the error of his ways.
When I vomit, I don't lick it back up. I met someone who knows my worth, whose honest, values me. I see how he feels and honors me in his eyes. He's patient bc he values me and knows I've been hurt and moving cautiously and I love and respect him more for it. My ex couldn't see my worth now he wants to fight for us but my new flame stepped forward to protect and defend what he has with me. He's amazing.
Sometimes that's true. Sometimes people take for granted what they have, and that includes both men AND women. Ill give you an example, a lot of times when a woman gets a good man, a genuinely good man, one who is essentially chivalrous in nature, she treats him badly. Not just one who is gentlemanly, but also one who embodies the traits of being hardworking, loving, caring, selfless, forgiving, a good provider, and whatnot, that he is seen as a pushover, a weakling, something to just be used, abused, and then discarded when either the person dealing with him feels he no longer has anymore use, or is simply tired of him for whatever reason. I have dealt with a few women who were like that, and the best answer I can give is the reason they do that, is because it's really a reflection of how they see themselves. And so they treat others the way they feel they deserve to be treated. And frankly, the only reason a good man would tolerate such treatments, is because they themselves have low self-esteem. It's sad that we live in a society where too many people see good character as being weak, because in fact it takes strength to act honorably and decently in a world that is anything but that.
@@YanirOSRS Getting laid is a game to some but getting laid is also part of a meaningful relationship to others. People should identify from the get go.
As a guy I completely disagree. In my 45 years on this planet and in my personal experience and through friends experiences it’s the women who play games.
And ladies, when you break up, the best revenge is success. Pour all that energy that you used to give him, into you. By success I mean joy, and happiness. Whenever he sees you, he'll see you *at your best.* Not being sad, or pitiful. But living your life in such a way, that you and those around you are blessed. Let yourself grieve, for a minute. Then pick yourself up, and move on.
They do this when they lose a good thing, so other women will not think they are as shitty as they are in a breakup. Basically, he keeps more potential options when he hides the truth. You know, like he did to you when you thought you had a relationship. Go forward to the man after him!
When a woman is FedUp it just ain’t nothing you can do to get us back. We are done. No one wants to be used. Mistreated. Disrespected. We can Never trust that dude. He can now Thot to his hearts contentment.
I'm in the heartbreak stage right now and he's in the stage where he thinks he can find a better woman but i was too good for him anyway and women like me usually dont date guys like him but let him be in this delusion. I did all i could to make him consider things wisely. I just know he's going to come back because he thinks i am still going to be the woman who depended on him and prioritized him but i just know it in my heart i wouldn't want anything to do with him even though i may still love him but i wouldn't wanna fight for this relationship because it hurts, i wont trust him again. I made that mistake already, not again.
I can relate to your story. I am undergoing the same. Lied and cheated infront of me but still accepted him again and again, we are in long distance but sometimes mistakenly include a screenshot of dating online notification not until now I wanted it to be done. I shut done my doors of communication.
I’ve actually told a guy I was dating to go back to his ex because I cannot compete against her she has to strong of a hold on him and for that matter I’m not going to Compete for him because if he was really into me in the first place he wouldn’t even be letting her draw him back into her world 😑
I think men don't often realize how easy it is for women to get someone else, someone better. They always realize what they had after we're already done with them.
Because there’s so much ego. Some men think because the ratio of women to men being what it is that women will always have a hard time meeting a good man and that the ball is always in their court. Not so, not so.
These the after thought dudes lol... Sheesh most us females be thinking the whole time..funny because we tend to be thinking about what we are giving and sacrificing which ultimately determines the condition, worthiness and emotional value of the relationship. You men do know we turn down more in one day than you can turn up in a whole weekend right?
Christina True. My 1st bf would tell me he didn't need me & that he could ALWAYS find someone BETTER than me if I left. I felt hurt cuz even if he ever got me upset I would NEVER threaten to break up OR talk to him like that. Smh He was mean. In the 1st place HE's the one that would start all the drama then start talking down to me. I was very naive back then & he was 3 yrs older than me so he took advantage of my innocence. After he dumped me for the umpteenth time & broke off our engagement due to his controlling, narcissist mother not liking me, I'd finally had enough of his BS. He called me back like 8 mos later wanting to get back together with me. By then I had already started dating again & I dated guys much MORE attractive than him. I ran into him on two different occassions. Each time was with two different guys. One was at a dance & the other time was at the movie theater. Even when he got me mad NOT ONCE had I ever told him that I could find someone BETTER than him ... YET I DID find someone BETTER! Not only that, I married him! I SHOWED HIM!
i'm just entering the "single" stage after doing all the previous ones like investigating, trying to talk through stuff and crying my ass out. i'm finally over this bs. wish me luck guys
Good for you! I’m sorry your requests for answers or a resolution weren’t validated. That feeling sucks. I wish you a successful and quick healing journey🦋❤️
you missed a stage....the one just before "we're good". it's when we evaluate the relationship and established FIRM FACTS as to why he's not the guy for us. It's when we wake up & see that we deserve better and we find ALLLLLL his faults and recall ALLLLL the messed up ways he treated us and that's when we have our last cry. That's when we come to a point where without him, "we're good".
My ex wasted 10 years of my life I am so done with relationships I'm spending the rest of my life with me and my tribe Just friends no benefits Tired of the BS
Derrick you're so right! When a real woman gives her all to a man and he gets too comfortable, take her for granted and blames her for his indiscretions and not take accountability for his actions. When we finally leave...99% of the time it's too late.
Yes sir it feels amazing to sleep in my bed alone without second guess some shit being single and in control of your emotions brings the greatest rewards
shadonna kinney Preach! I told my male friend that a lot of women hate being single, so if a woman would rather be single than get back together with you, you must know you are absolute trash.
🙏 Amen ain't nothing like a piece of Mind! Being single is beautiful so much of the lies and bs are gone, love yourself first and always! Most of these people aren't worthy of the love ❤️ we give to them. Their loss and so be it! I speak on this a lot in my channel and readings, love and relationships are ruining lives. Be smart be guarded and be grounded in your spiritual foundation.
I fucked up as well recently. Yesterday, she broke up with me. I knew it was coming, just when. I was an overall great bf her favorite, but I changed and started to treat her like shit. I now know the gravity of the situation. She was extremely good to me. Everything I wanted in a women, but I failed her.
Lonewolf99 why did you start to treat her poorly? Sometimes I have this lingering feeling pornography is the culprit towards a hard heart. Not saying this was true of you, but I wonder if that is causing some complacency in relationships.
Thank you men for admitting this and giving us hope that they’ll at least at some point realize how good we really were to and for you. I want mine to care, but I need him to care and try NOW! Because I know once I’m gone it’ll be too late and he’ll finally wake up. And I love him so much I don’t want him to hurt! 😔 But I love me more and I will leave! 💯
Love this clip means alot, thank you, your wrds spk the truth,, im at the stage wer im donnnnne happy comfortable .Gave it my all everythink 100% thers nothing that he can do, his absence is my gain cus wat was so hard for him to do a real man will be more than willing to do with out any effort.And if he dnt understand that then he needs to hear it from you derrick lol ,will send him your true wrds of wisdom,i did this b4 , how is it a man can walk away so easily, he certainly got your msg.now he wnts to return, well he better do a u turn cus im more than done.Love waching all your clips respect. He can smarten up for some one else cus im to smart to go bk
Well boys can be 18 and boys can be 60. Age doesn't dictate maturity necessarily. I had a friend who's husband was one of the most stand up men I had ever seen. After his dad left his mom and left her with 6 kids I think he helped his mom including financially. At 20 he was more mature than a lot of men out there. Worked a trade and brought home the money. My fondest memory of him was one time when I was visiting my friend he came in to get my car keys so he could go out and warm my car up so it would be warm when I got ready to leave. It was one of those frigid winter days.
It’s like being at the park feeding the birds, when the bag is empty you’ve given your all but the birds start surrounding you and began chasing you all around the park. That’s how men act when they’ve held back worked against you the whole time while you were being and always giving them your all ....Well it’s too late now, chase all you want, but the bag is empty and I’m running the other way😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😅😅😬
I love how this man speaks. I am a gay Latino. I was with a man that put me through a lot where it was killing me inside and taking a toll on me physically and emotionally. The last of my tollerance with this man was when he began to humiliate me in public, I took it as a sign from God that it was time to leave him. I was very relieved when I ended it. He tried to get in touch multiple times but I did not respond. I am now living the best life that God gave me. I have an amazing partner who that I love, is compassionate, patient, caring, educated, accomplished, God fearing, and genuine. I was able to reach my milestones with his support.
Men thinks just because a woman loves them and give them their all, she ain't going nowhere. They get comfortable and won't lift a finger to match her effort. Little do they realized, we're slowly going through our "I'm done" stages. And when we're done, WE'RE DONE! Ain't no amount of "I'm sorry" going to get us back together. A real woman will recognize a real man and vice versa
This might sound mean.... but I can't tell you how good it made me feel when my ex was all mad when he finally saw me happy with somebody else. Like I'm not talking fake happy.... 5 min new fling... Im talking Lost weight, new car, every video of me and my New Daddy, he was smiling and kissing on me, Happy af. To my ex I was a headache... To my new man I'm his happiness his peace. To this day my ex still mad af 😂
Good for you. It always seems that way. Once we leave a bad relationship, life just seems worth living, success comes your way, prosperity is glorified upon you. When you reflect back on being with the ex, it was like dating the devil when God gives you a second chance and it actually work this time around. For me, i am choosing not to date anymore or place myself back in the filed, fear of getting knocked back down again. My focus and attention is on my two kids who are preteens now. They are all i need Good luck and many blessings to all who have gotten out of a bad relationship.
Damn, I needed this 3 years ago when my ex-husband couldn’t get it together. He got caught with a cellphone and claimed it was his boys, I gave him another chance. He messed up again and he came home from work and all my stuff was gone. He cried and begged for my forgiveness...I couldn’t do it. Together we were the power couple, but without him I am a powerful woman. I just bought my house, and am blessed beyond words.
When we are completely done with a man. We don not look back. We do not have the desire to look back or even check on him or anything. It's like we loose our taste for that person. In my shoes.. I become completely disgusted where I don't want to see that person ever again and even if they come back it doesn't even have any significance.
A kept woman you are so right. I just diverted that energy I was pouring into him, into me instead! I dance now, bought a piano keyboard to learn, exercise off some of that “pent up energy”, take walks, watch and listen to what I want. It so peaceful.
I find that all the crying in the world don't mean a thing to most men. Which is why women have the upper hand in showing them through their actions that she deserves better. People don't respect words but they damn well respect actions.
All I can say as a woman is....your absolutely correct. And once I'm at the stage where I have moved on. It's usually because I realize how toxic the relationship was for me in the first place, so I never turn back. Once I'm done ...IM DONE
She gets tired, she picks herself up, along with her goods, and her good-good, and her good works such as cooking 🍳 And then she asks herself, why didn't I do this a long time ago. He thinks she's trying to find another man, but she's really finding herself and her purpose. She opens her bottle and pours 26 years down the drain and prepares to refill it somewhere in the near future, or maybe in a year or so as she gives herself time to strip off the layers of pain, and heartache, trust issues and whatever else that was imbedded upon her that she might bring. So that this way she can love again and not bring the next guy the baggage from the past. Starting over never felt so good.
No, you took all the time you needed for Y.O.U. THAT is unheard of! You were blind, and now you see. Let that past go. Do not blame your self as “late” You are using good judgement now. Yesterday takes care of itself. It does not use the stores set aside for tomorrow.
I told him that he would miss me. A week later he misses kids and I.lol... At some point your actions will speak volume... That you are not to be played with. Good luck, stay strong....
CONTINUE BEING A #QUEEN TO YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN GOD WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH SOMEONE THAT WILL LOVE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN 10X FOLD. LOOK AT #CIARA AND #MEGANGOOD YOUR FAIRYTALE WILL COME TRUE.
Good for you girl respecting yourself! We need to be the strong ass women we were born to be! Fck them they always realise what they lost in the end but it’s too late for them!
Some men are like gamblers. They don't feel like they are winning until they are losing. This gives them the perfect opportunity to bolt up and try to become Superman and try to save everything and everybody. Where were these superpowers when I was crying out to you. Times up
👏👏I said this... Men who treat good women like shiiii are used to dealing with certain types of women RATCHETS. This just recently happened to me, a guy I used to mess with trying to get back in touch several times. I let his ass talk straight to that voicemail😂. If dude(s) couldn't see the full potential in me, its their lost forEVA...thank god im a strong woman.
This how I'm not like other guys all I want to do is treat a woman right and build on a relationship and im young just graduating high school and on my way to college and competing in track and I have only has been in one relationship I just want a women that want the same thing I want
Yessssss! I told my ex “now that I really know you, I get why you messed with the women you messed with” he was used to weak women (emotionally or even junkies) that let him do whatever. He didn’t like being told that lol
This is so true, going through it now. After I suspecting he was doing stuff and trying to work with him and get him to tell me the truth. I finally found evidence and left even though it hurt. He told me himself “Believe what the F you want to believe I’m not fighting for you anymore” I said “I’m not asking you to” and left it at that. Of course I was depressed hurt, not eating etc... then I just started working on myself and self healing and now I’m talking to someone who I really hit it off with and happy and my ex is going through it. Begging, talking about how he realises his mistakes and I’m just like it’s a little too late for that sorry I’ve moved on, I’m not a doormat female 🤷🏽♀️
Once you accomplish getting back together. It's only matter of time before it goes back to what it use to be. Why waste your time. Find who you are love yourself so you can make a better decision the next time around. Peace!
Some men never “come back” because their shame is so heavy that they don’t even try... all the while us women are left to confirm he never really cared and didn’t try to righty his wrongs... not that we would take him back anyway.
Joseph Lindsey its sucks for the girls that do give yall a second chance cause yall just play them again eventually traumatizing them even more smh🤦🏻♀️
There are lots of women agreeing with you but no men. I think yours is a specious claim. I don’t think men really feel that much shame when they mistreat women.
I left an 8 year relationship with my son's father and I'm so much more happy without him. We was together 8 years but I checked out of the relationship 3 years ago ✌
I don't chase men or fight for any relationship. A WASTE OF TIME! if he left, he is gone. Do not welcome him back. No man is worth all that drama. I got better things to do with my life. Time is short. If you ghost me, stay gone. I won't know you when you come back.
*This is: The MISTAKE* *A lot of guys MAKE* They're in the fight for The Relationship Stage Or Heartbreak Stage When a Woman Is in her Comfort Stage?? She done Moved on.. She's Done.. She's GOOD ✍👏👊
He is so on point. I was in a relationship where the guy took me for granted. We broke up, I grieved, he moved to provably whomever he was cheating with. I healed, he came back and I had no feelings for him but he was talking the way I wanted him to earlier. I wasnt involved but I no longer wanted him. As I look back, I'm glad I let that relationship go, by force but I'm better for it now
The issue is, that when we get to the give up stage, we lose respect for him.Either he wasn't listening when we told him I.e. didn't value our words; or, he didn't take us seriously I.e. didn't respect us. Either way, he didn't give us the value we placed on him and he has to call Tyrone.
Kelly Darrell Agreed, smh. Some (weak-minded) men think in terms of the quantity over quality. Plus what's the ratio of men to women...Like 30 to 1. But I'd rather not have a dog at all, than the one that is going to turn on me instead of protecting me. Over it already 😒😑
Yup! Exactly! This happened to me. I tried being his perfect everything. But, I lost myself being his puppet. Someone at work appreciated me just for who I was. That man is still in my life by the way. My marriage of 23 years ended. He always thought/ hoped he would get me back. Nope! You hit the nail on the head. I was done being everything he wanted. I was never going to be that. I am not a robot. I am single 3 yrs. now. I am so much happier. I know that women need to be aware of caring for the relationship as well.
Hey thank you for what you said. I feel like I lost everything being someone's puppet. There is part of me that wants him back..but only so I can be like I am not your puppet...This guy is not even my boyfriend. I just like reading your story because I can take the chance to think he will come back...and that helps...for now
I was in love with this guy. When I say I was in love it hurt to be next to him cause the emotions was so strong. I gave my all. He had me completely my mind my spirit my soul. He cheated and I asked him about it he lied. I literally walked away didn’t break up or nothing I just disappeared. Now he has a child with the girl he left me for and is unhappy as fuck and wants me back. I told him you were willing to risk losing me and it was a risk you chose to take. I’m not your escape nor am I obligated to undo your mistake. You had a good woman and you thought that there was better out there and you made a choice. Now give another man a chance cause you fucked up yours.
You go, girl. I wish I had done the same thing but I was weak at the time. My narcissistic ex is gone now. I kicked him out of my house two days ago because he thought he could play me again. Smh. He's homeless now and I don't give a fuck if he is anymore. He deserves it after the many years of abuse he put me and his son through.
Currently in the same situation but I accepted to get back with him and he stabbed me again once the baby was born.., he went mia, blocked me and then told me he has decided to be with his baby mama and the baby... . Nothing hurt me more than that. Then he blocked me...
I feel like every guy should WATCH THIS VIDEO. Why? So that they can hear how things really are from their fellow man (because let's face it ladies, guys tend to want to listen to us when we stop talking smdh)
adanne1990 Preach that! When a woman is fighting for it, men consider it begging or nagging & feel superior BUT when she stops talking there's nothing left to fight for & his dumb azz thinks he's won without apologizing as if she gave in & he can just move past it like nothing happened. Too stupid & too Late!
Most don't care, that's why it's mostly women subscribed to this channel. A lot of men truly don't give a damn about getting relationships right or pleasing a woman...not unless it benefits them the most. They are selfish and ruthless like that.
It must be understood that in a man's nature he is to be SHOWN how to treat us not simply told. Which is why a lot of us experience their lack of attentiveness or care for what we say until we put actions behind our voice. Learned this from experience. Men respond to action, period. Whatever I let flow from my lips I mean it by exemplifying it through action. All men tend to try and push the limits on how much they can get away with with us at some point. Ladies no matter what, say what you mean and mean exactly what you say!
After they lose the real asset of their .life they realize there's nothing that can compare in the street. A real woman will reach her comfort zone and may not move on with someone else but with herself, that's where she will find out there's still some things to accomplish and he's not in my way of further success.
markeetawins I'm that road just move my self get more work just to make my world success and he want me back now he can kiss my ass I'm out when I say I'm out I hard enough shit thanks god
100% agree. Women and men have totally different phases of heartbreak. A guy's heart breaks way way waaaaaay after shit has blown up. A woman's heart breaks while the relationship is still going, when things are getting shitty and she's giving everything she can, only to be met with nothing. By the time she leaves, she's already mourned the loss of the relationship. And frequently, when guys come running back, it's too late. She's had too much time to look back and reflect and see the shitty stuff for what it really was. She may miss you, but what keeps her from coming back is realizing that who she misses is s figment of her imagination. She'll tell herself this because she'd rather not risk getting things going again with you, only to have the same stuff happen again.
You really have this spot on! We women definitely fight for it before we call time on the relationship. Most of the time men come back crying for you when you are completely over it. Even when you’re at the point looking at him thinking “what did I ever see in him?”. Often it’s too little too late!
