6 Mistakes Men Make When Women Pull Away (Every Single Guy Needs To Know This) 

If a girl knows how you feels and she still wants to pull away, let her go. Forget about it and move on. Concentrate on the essentials.

The mistakes, for those in a hurry 1) Obsessing over why she pulled away 2) Chasing (not pursuing- she has another video explaining the difference. Check it out when you eventually finish your deep dive on this one. ) 3) Grand gestures/Being overly nice 4) Getting clingy 5) Trying to change her mind/Begging 6) Waiting around for her My cheesy summary? She may not respect you either way. But she DEFINITELY won't respect you if you don't respect yourself. Go out there and kick ass, my dudes. But before you do, give this video a thumbs up 👍

My biggest takeaway from this is be a good man and if she doesn't want that, let her go. Someone will appreciate everything she didn't.

Rejection breeds obsession. If she’s running away from you, good indication it’s not meant for you. Don’t take it personally and move on

Guys, at the end of the day, you can't control other people and if the girl pulls away, just forget about it. All you can do is present your best self to a girl, show her why you are the real deal and a good choice, and after that, it is up to her to connect the dots and open the door. If she can't do that, just move on and another girl will be able to get you. A real man with value doesn't need to chase someone or clobber them over the head on why he's high value; people will be able to see that make the connections as needed, and if they can't, that's their loss.

This is why it's healthier to chase/obsess over your own hobbies, and interests. When a woman pulls away, put that chasing/obsession energy towards your hobbies and interests. This will not only help you cope, but you'll feel happier and will make you a more interesting person that other women will respect and admire.

Where's the video telling women to be consistent, say what they mean and mean what they say and to not say and act like they want you and then pull away? Can't wait for that episode.

I've done every single mistake listed here lol. I'd love to say I wouldn't have made these mistakes if this video was out 6 years ago, but I know my heart would have been too stubborn. Everything here is true and I hope guys who are going through something similar take this advice to heart. While I feel lonely from time to time, I never want to go back to the anxiety and depression of being infatuated with someone who would take 3 weeks to 3 months to respond to my texts. This goes for friends too. I'm ok with people walking in and out of my life; now I'm just focused on my peace and solitude.

It’s a tough pill to swallow but don’t chase after people. If they want to be with you than they will make time for you. This goes for friendship and relationship.

We as guys need to get out of our logical mindset when this happens..and searching for reasons. Just let her go. If she is someone who you want to circle her way back to you, you have a far better chance of succeeding if you leave her be, and live your own life. It seems counter intuitive if you havent experiencd this or have failed at it, but it's true.

Never chase or beg. Let her realize what she’s missing and if she truly cares they will always come back.

Went on a couple dates with a girl. On the final date, got the “side hug” at the beginning and end. Caught the friendzone vibe. Moved on to the next. No hard feelings

If she is pulling away, frankly she is already out the door; take the hint. It is just a weak way for her to break-up with you.

Pick someone who picks you. Period. Don’t waste time & investment with someone who feels lackluster about you.

Very helpful! A mantra I developed a couple years ago in situations like such is this... "Personally, it's not personal"

I take being rejected as a " blessing " in disguise. Love is reciprocal & works " both ways!". The love you get should be equal or greater than the love you give!...To be validated, appreciated & respected is PARAMOUNT in ANY functional & healthy relationship! You can't control and make somebody love you! There are nearly 8 Billion people on this 🌎 earth!... Co- dependency or insecurities are not going to get you anywhere with anyone! Acting thirsty and with scarcity are going to attract the WRONG people who have the WRONG motives...intentions & agendas! Being used and abused isn't worth being with ANYONE who has those characteristics! So, relax, take your time and really get to know that person before making any serious commitments to them.

Don't be on anyone's bench. Like, don't let anyone string you along with hope because honestly hope is a terrible fucking thing when it comes to this

Feeling heartbroken that she suddenly lost interest in me after many dates that were going well. It hurts even more when you knew she liked you a lot, you kissed and did other things together. But you can't do anything about it. You just move on😔

This should be a part of every parent's "talk" with their kids. Great insight, Courtney. Thank you for making this.

I recently got ghosted by a girl and I thought things were going well. Fortunately for videos like this and life experience, I am not upset in anyway. She actually did me a favor by revealing this major red flag early on. Fellow men, when this happens to you, I hope this post and this video help you out.

I saw my EX GF today when I was in the store, and I immediately was hit with a barrage of feelings. I sadly started overthinking and obsessing over why we separated (to sum it up, it was for the best for both of us. We separated on good terms) watching this helped me realign my thinking and to think clearly. Thank you Courtney 🙏🏻 keep posting the great content 🙂

Thank you for what you are doing. I've seen different channels about relationships, but I think yours is one of the best. I once watched another channel where a man manipulated other men into feeling inferior in order to sell them his expensive courses, and you helped me to clear my mind of this garbage. So I'm glad that there are people like you who are really trying to teach good things. I wish you good luck in your business, may your goals be achieved.

She pulls away….you pull away mentally, emotionally and psychologically. When thoughts pop up in your mind, ignore them. Don’t fight the thoughts. Shift your mind to yourself and constructive things for yourself. Drop the thoughts as they pop up. Move on. No calls, no text nothing. You are in control, not her. Get a grip of yourself and stop acting pathetic chasing her. Join a gym, go out by yourself. Get a few hobbies. Read books. Get your dental hygiene in order. Groom yourself. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. Quit talking about her to your friends. Drop her like she dropped you.

I once won a girl over i like with this along but it was just not obsessing over and realizing I needed to work on myself and bad timing. You never know what a girl is going through better or worse, she made it back around and we had a really good relationship and chemistry after.

Holy crap Courtney, this couldn't have been any perfect timing. I legit opened RU-vid to watch a video on this and there you are, posted 20 mins ago. Love you!

The timing of this video couldn’t be more perfect for the situation I’m currently going through. Before I even watched the video, I knew all of these things deep down, but to have someone reaffirm them to me is something I needed to hear. Thank you for another excellent video Courtney, it’s greatly appreciated.

I could've really used this a month or two ago. I was in love with this girl that had a boyfriend. They broke up. I asked her out, she told me she was in a bad place at the moment, but we could go out sometime in the future. I gave her space. Reached out to her again after a month, we talked a little, I thought we were progressing but I didn't want to overwhelm her so I pulled back a little bit. A month after that I talked to her again, asked her on a date with me, she told me something like "I really appreciate you, you flatter me but at this moment I can't give you what I know you're looking for and deserve. Life is full of twists so we don't know what can happen in the future". So I told her it was ok, and that I could finally close this chapter and wished her the best. 2 months after that and this week I found out... she's seeing another guy - She probably has for a couple of months now. So hey, it just wasn't me she wanted to be with. It was never about timing. I wish she could have told me that from the start but anyways... I didn't take it personal. I moved on. I learned a lot from this whole situation: When a girl wants you, she will make the first move or she'll do SOMETHING to let you know she's into you. She'll try to keep in touch. She'll initiate contact. Whatever. But it will obvious. If none of that happens, she's probably not interested so you shouldn't chase her or give her too much attention. Another takeaway from this experience is that if I ever have to go through something like this again, I will ask her to be honest with me from the get go. if it's a 'no', then it's a no. No games, it's all good.

I’m going through that right now. She just stopped everything, never said she doesn’t want to talk or she needs space, nothing. She is in her mid 50’s, not as if she is in her 20’s

Great advice Courtney. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your knowledge on so many different topics. It is very appreciated and helpful. 👍🏾

[1] Obsession: Its all true, especially "she's with another." Give up and move one. [2] Chase: If she wants to connect, she will. NEVER chase. [3] Grand Gestures: SIMP and broke. [4] Clingy/ Needy: That's not a male role. Smothering. [5] Reasoning & Begging: Both the same. Move on. [6] Waiting: LOL, you obviously don't have a life... Oh, and she does? Disgusting.

This video couldn't have come at a better time. Currently going through a situation where some of this applied to me, especially the "don't wait around point" It's a difficult pill to swallow but a reality check that I needed. Thank you Courtney for all of your content and I wish you all the best in your future endeavours :)

Glad to see you partnered with Betterhelp! It's such a perfect fit for your channel haha. Point #2 is SO true about not chasing. Sometimes, the girl just needs some space if you've been spending a lot of time together or is even testing to see if you're needy in that way. You have to relax and let her come back on her own

Ha ha ha, I have to laugh at how many people are saying if she pulls away then let her go. So easy to say that when you are not driving. Anyone that's been in love knows hearts don't break even. Great song!

Courtney is dropping dimes here. I have gone through most of this as many men have. Keep your options open and the second a woman isn't reciprocating your effort, move on. You can waste so much time pursing a woman who is not really interested. The thing about women is they may like the attention you give them so they will string you along to keep you interested. You have to learn not to fall for this.

Its funny how the older generation think it’s giving up too quick when someone pulls away but no. It’s about having respect and valuing yourself. The right person will come into your space and will value your time and effort. Great vid💯

Courtney, I saw another comment a few months ago that said this, but it kinda feels right to say it again: You feel like the big sister I never had. Thank you for your work

Thanks, Courtney. The thing is, it's so hard to understand that when you're emotional attached. 2 months ago, I had to cut my friendship of many years. Glimmer of hope is a killer. Walking away was the only choice. Funny enough, because of that I took a vacation, I meet someone who was into me and was even more into topics I discussed with the girl I walked away. I would've never been open to it if I stayed with the girl before. Still, that pain I felt was so much I can't describe. But Bruce Lee said "Pain will leave you when it's done teaching you".

I've done all of these in my first very serious relationship when, after so many years living together, she started pulling away and not communicating. The more silent she was, the harder I tried. And it all ended disastrously for me. So now, if anything, I'm guilty of doing the opposite thing -- and which I've been told by some women is the WRONG thing to do. And that is that now when I'm in a new relationship and I feel the woman starting to pull away -- I let her go! I don't waste any time anymore. But some of these same women will come back months later and claim that I should have tried harder to keep them. Hmmm... damned if I do, damned if I don't huh?

Courtney … you are absolutely correct on all points . I made all the mistakes and I survived ! Thanks 🙏

If she pulls away, let her go. Cut your losses and move on. It's best for both of you.

I could understand why guys would be concerned over why a woman pulled away, but never, and I mean NEVER, obsess over why she did it. It's out of your control and all you can do from that point is live your life and if she comes back, cool, but if she doesn't, you didn't waste your time.

This is going to be a helpful video. I appreciate your videos Courtney! Thank you.

This definitely hit the nail on the head. Great and insightful video, thank you 😊

Wow. Such positive and motivating words at the end. How many couples have Courtney to thank for helping them get over the past and make a good relationship happen. Really appreciate this woman!

Just acting calm and normal seems like the way to go.

Yup. When the rejection is apparent walk away. Go where you are valued

Great points, especially about obsessing and questioning all of your actions and words. Thanks for this video!

Outstanding video. At one time or another I’ve made many of those mistakes. Lesson learned.

Courtney, congrats on your engagement. As a married man, for 18 years, here's how I handle my wife being annoyed with me and "pulling away": I enjoy the time off. I read a book (I read LOTS of books!), I go for a walk with our daughter, we have fun, and within, say, 4 hours at most (I haven't kept a detailed record), she usually breaks when "the silent treatment" is a reward for me rather than a punishment. Now, if it lasts longer than that, I will go up and have a rational discussion with her, as to what literally happened (without any blaming, etc.) just what I hope is a fair appraisal of what occurred and future best practices which I invite her to engage in. More or less, your advice is on target with (one) caveat (you know I gotta give it) and that is "pursuing" shows that women are not responsible for their actions, which is just how they are, and for men to keep this in mind and keep frame as to what we deserve in response (because women don't owe US anything, do they?) Once a man has slept with a woman, he has the advantage (and few women will admit this.) She cannot hold sex over his him (unless he's exceptionally weak.) So in "pursing" women with the "fish wanting to get caught", it's like you're on a job interview for nookie. Treat it as such. After that, fishermen, life is a lot easier.

In the early stages of a relationship this is absolutely the correct advice. It gets more complicated once the guy is in love with the girl and has invested a lot emotionally. The longer and deeper the relationship, the harder it is just to walk away - even if that is the most sensible thing to do. I think Courtney could have been a bit more nuanced in this case. My comments: 1. Obsession. This is an internal feeling, if you are in love there is not much you can do about this. It will decline with time as long as you don't start chasing, stalking and getting weird! 2. Chasing. Yep, never chase it only makes people run away. 3. Grand gestures. Generally no, but sometimes one last parting gesture before walking away will maybe make you feel better, showing that there are no hard feelings. Definitely don't throw money at the problem - you will just end up getting used. 4. Getting clingy. See Chasing - you are unlikely to get close enough to cling and it might come over as stalking behaviour. 5. Begging. Absolutely not!! 6. Waiting around - this needs to be defined better. Yes, don't hang around on the assumption that she will return. However, if you were in love, there is nothing wrong with taking a pause and not jumping into the dating pool too quickly. It can take time to heal. The point that was not mentioned, but is often stated on other sites, is that women hate it when a man ignores them and seems to easily move on. When they realise the guy is over them really quickly, they will often turn right round and start to chase him. What is your take on that Courtney? Any truth in it? It is often a symptom of an "avoidant" attachment style on the part of the woman, the tendency to pull away whenever anyone gets too close. The opposite is the "anxious" attachment style (clingy, needy, etc). They often attract each other and it ends up in a horrible mess of a relationship.

Pretty much do the opposite of what's emotional and what is logical. Thank you, Courtney, I love watching your videos they are very thoughtful and helpful.

Thank you Courtney, this video makes a lot of sense because I’m at the point in life right now that I’m starting to feel like I’ll never meet anyone, but I’m sure I will because I’m a great guy!

Absolute gem of a video, thanks for this Courtney

True words Courtney Ryan, As a man lot of mistakes I have made and all 6 mistakes.. I have made in the past. Now, I have improved instead of saying “MY Girlfriend” I never say “My” because I don't own her and she not an object.... I know most people say My but not me.... I want to be difference. Have a nice day Courtney love your nails mate

Something I have noticed here in the comments is a common theme of 'just let her go and move on' as if the second she pulls away the whole thing's over. While y'all are not wrong, a woman pulling away doesn't necessarily mean it's time to move on. If you've ever had someone constantly asking for your attention, then you know it gets exhausting after a while, *even if you enjoy being with that person.* It reaches a point where you have to draw a line and take some time for yourself to recharge so you can come back with the same excitement as before. That's what a woman could be doing when she pulls away from you: just taking time to recharge so she can come back to you with full excitement to be with you. With all of that being said, if you come back a couple of days later and she's still pulling away from you, then definitely let her go and move on. Like I said, y'all are not wrong and Courtney's advice is still valid, but I just encourage y'all to be a little more optimistic when she pulls away. Let me know if you agree or disagree.

Thank you very much. All of them are true. Unfortunately, I have made most of these mistakes. However, knowing my mistakes will help me to avoid repeating them.

Can we just take a moment to appreciate how authentic Courtney is in her videos. 😌🙏🏻

Just let her go. Don’t appear desperate. Respect that she wants to pull away. Say you wish her the best and you are going to move on as well.

I learnt a lot...this just makes me appreciate my masculinity the more.

I'm recently going through something like this. A girl had been trying to get my attention for some time and when she got it we went out on 2 dates. Then soon after all the sudden she starts pulling away being hard to get. I know she's busy with work and school and is trying to get her life together and so am I but she finally told me that she can't couldn't go through with it anymore, she said she likes what she sees and thinks I'm a amazing man but she told me she's not the right girl for me. It really hurt cause I really liked her but I'm now seeing her as a friend and just moving on. There's much better out there. Thank you Courtney

I never get attached or clingy. If a woman can't show reciprocity in any relationship... cut her off. I literally block her social media, delete her number and continue living my life to try to be the best version of myself. Not everyone is meant to be on your journey, some people are just lessons to be learned. Good luck out there gentlemen. Strive for self excellence. 💪

I need to bookmark this! To remind myself to stay strong. It's kinda sad to admit, but many girls unfortunately can get bored easily if you're way too affective, transparent and upfront about your feelings towards them. Even if you're coming from a good place, and trying to be an honest/loving good man (not to be confused with the dreaded "nice guy" label), sadly not everyone, guys and girls, have the maturity of just saying "yes, please" or "no, thank you" and prefer to keep the other person hanging, without realizing it can be torture for the other person. It's kinda sad, but it is what it is... if someone, guy or girl, starts playing those dumb indifference games w/you, you're better backing off and focusing on yourselves kings/queens. Stay strong out there everyone! Another great vid, thanks Courtney, greets from México!

everyone should watch this vid cuz its the hard truth that everyone should be aware of

Yess! Thank you Courtney for the wisdom!! I enjoy these videos a lot!

*The ACTUAL Six Worst Mistakes MEN made:* *(1)* Passing and ratifying the 19th. *(2)* Legalizing No-Fault Divorce. *(3)* Permitting y'all to hold clerical, educational, corporate, military, and governmental offices. *(4)* Inventing the Birth Control Pill *(5)* #Believ[ing]AllWomen *(6)* Letting you dictate the course of relationships when you've no idea who you are or what you want.

You definitely reward women off of the 3:2 rule which is very similar to texting where she sends you three you should reply with one or two but the same thing goes for gestures because of course men tend to have more money more resources and more skills which means they could do more for their women than their women can do for them but that doesn't mean women will do much of anything and you want to make sure she will because if she's going to do a lot for you, and she has heart, she will do much for your kids. Remember, women didn't cook and clean just because it was something to do, labor was always physically dominated because we didn't have machines and women wanted to make sure that their children and their husbands didn't get food poisoning so they had to know how to cook, and they also didn't want to draw in rodents and bugs that would bring diseases with them because they didn't want their children or their husbands to die from disease, because if their husbands died they likely would not be able to survive. I know things are different in this day and age but women need to have heart otherwise they will be selfish parents and selfish lovers and nobody will get ahead

I'm glad I've come across this channel Courtney. I really enjoy watching your content, as a man who struggles with dating right now, this gives me the right advices to move on and be the better version of myself. Thank you so much and keep up the good work.

thank you..feels relieved and i believe this will help me for next date.

Thank you Courtney for this video. I plea guilty as charged to everything on this list at one time or another one way or another. I am at a point where I've learned from these mistakes. I'm not going to make them again. I am hoping you can do a video on people like me who want to have a serious, long term relationship. But I never want children. I don't want to get in the way of anyone who does or already has children. It seems like I write off the vast majority of the population when I say this. It makes the difficult search for a relationship that much harder. What is your advice for someone like me?

Why is life so hard? Or why are people so hard? 😶😢🤕😔 Also, I can relate to some of those signs you mentioned on this list. And honestly, I'm not really sure what to do anymore. All I really want is someone who's not fearful of me, won't reject me and won't friendzoned me right away.

Thank you, Courtney

I wish I saw this video a few weeks ago. rest in peace, mental health.

I disagree with Courtney's last statement... 7:14 This is the point of view from someone like her... a good looking, voluptious young woman who is probably used to having a stack of dating applications to go through at any given day if she were putting herself out there as being single and looking. You're own videos have shown that 80% of women aren't even attracted to men. There isn't 3.5 billion women for us to choose from. We're lucky to have 1. This is why a lot of guys are just not trying anymore. The MTGOW movement. It's not that we don't like women. It's that we're not about to waste our time and self respect chasing after a fish that doesn't want to be caught by us. Like YOU said in this video "Don't wait for a lady and waste your day."

It's about finding enjoyment with ourselves first than seeking the right partner. I've been with women who (til' this day), who I can still remember the good times we had together, those women had no problem showing me they was into me. Bottom line is, if she's into ya she'll let you know.

Courtney the timing of this video is absolutely impeccable. I can’t stop obsessively thinking of a gal I’ve been seeing. Thanks for the video, I know what I need to do (or not do) 🙌

Here's another approach to consider. Whatever happened to make her pull away, it's done and she's not coming back. So it doesn't make a damned bit of difference whether you chase her or not. But, for your growth, you need to feel your need and vulnerability, or else you will be it's prisoner for life. So chase that girl like your life depended on it (your emotional life does in fact). And feel every bit of yourself doing this. Bonus: she is now what she always was, a mere prop in your personal voyage into self realization.

I would try to reach out so when I walk away, I can move on quickly..

after I planned some fun things with my ex she started to pull away; broke up with her instantly so that she cant take advantage of all those fun things I put effort in planning. never felt better!!

Good video! This is why it's so important to cultivate an abundance mindset and overcome the onenitis syndrome...

Thanks. I needed to hear this. Very timely

She’s not into me , I get it. She don’t want to be pursued. It’s not worth the time to go wrong way

You know something fellows, that clingy, desperate, "gotta have you mentality" is most frightening to all women, period. I'm sure many of us can identify with Courtney's list. I've found myself going back to the drawing board to focus on becoming a better version of myself. Women are complex for a reason. Anyone worth having is worth waiting for; there's no other way to acquire a healthy relationships. For us guys, when we are whole and complete within, we can then bring a strong masculine presence to the table. Women really desire those characteristics within us, because all relationships have challenges.

Iam going through this situation now. Thanks sister for this knowledge 😍😘

I have viewed several of your videos and you do a thorough job of romantic navigation. I have learned from you .thank you

Easy solution: Don't care. Do your own thing. Let them come to you (not saying don't try... just don't put your effort where it isn't wanted). Also, the texting thing confuses me. Like I tend to send messages in groups that I WOULD consider one message put all together. I just think erratically and don't necessarily get it all in one message (do it on Slack at work too).

Let them go

I went through a thing which I got over a few years ago. Its nice to be able to show someone some care, and I kinda just accepted that girls don't seem to be interested, for whatever reason. I didn’t wanna deny myself the good feels of showing someone some care/appreciation... so I just did, cause it's nice, and I never expected to get anything back, I wasn't trying to buy or weasel my way in, I just let myself enjoy showing people they were special. I wasn't really doing anything big, or expensive, or ostentatious, I don't think I was creepy about it... I'm usually pretty careful about that. I stopped... I don't do it anymore, I don't remember why, I guess I got the need out of my system, or I just lost the inspiration. I'm not sure of my point... this just made me think about it

Thank you for this. What a great reminder not to lose one's value and keep the respect for oneself. You earned one sub here!

But what if she's playing hard to get? Man why does it have to be so complicated. I'm gonna become a wizard then.

You don’t need a woman to be happy. Plain and simple.

If she doesn't want to talk to you she doesn't like you and I don't have time for that and you can't buy burning desire.

If a woman pulls away - you just saved a fortune on a Valentine's Day gift, her birthday, Christmas and an anniversary gift (not to mention dining out, movies, vacations, etc. I guess you'll have to do without her gifts - 4 ties you didn't want to wear.

So let me get this straight. The best way to get a woman to like you or to be attracted to you is to not give a damn about her, or at least pretend to not give a damn about her. That's honestly what I'm reading from all those points.

I don’t think it’s fair to call guys clingy for how they respond to a woman pulling away. She is the one in the wrong. She is the one planting the seed in his head that something is wrong and that she is losing interest. If she doesn’t want him to freak out about it then she should explain what’s going on clearly using words. The suggestion that the guy is the one in the wrong here shows an astonishing lack of maturity, empathy and accountability.

Thanks Courtney. Your analysis is appreciated, so I never chase !

Thank you so much for this, I really needed it. Thank you.

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Honestly, the mistakes you mention are symptoms of a deeper issue where the man views the woman from the personal perspective of being incomplete without her. Her pulling away is misinterpreted as a loss to the man, rather than the more optimistic perspective which would be, she cut herself a loss.

I needed to hear a lot of that, thank you!