A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] - Barbarian (AGAIN) 

no offense

sounds like something a Barbarian would say

He’s not wrong

But I thought fireballs were the answer to everything, I need to rethink my life now.

@@CallMeCatalin Fireballs are offense.

Jocat started the channel with monster hunter content and his character is wearing armor from that game, specifically Kirin pants and a Wiggler mask. Wigglers are adorable.

I got to this comment just as the video ended lmfao

Fist? Surely you meant Battleaxe?

Psychromaniac I see that you watch warhammer 40k tts

Muscle wizards cast fist

OneBiasedOpinion „NO! I MEAN: ULTRA FISTING!!!“

We always cast colour spray. The colour depends on the target's blood...

More like the "War of War".

And then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal, herd them into a boat, and BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM!

@@llawliet1522 and from that day forward, anytime a group of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo!

@@jt0n Unless it's a farm!

Maple would like to argue

Also cleric

oi josuke

*laughs in Sorcerer*

Please don't smirk in your warlocks it's very rude.

You mean "smirks in ELDRITCH BLAST"

Nyghtking I heard there obnoxious to kill so I was thinking of throwing a npc one at the players I Dm for mainly to see if it’s a good idea to have npc player characters as encounters party is level five btw

*Knowing your god has your back* Barbs dont think and zealots have absolute faith :)

@@agrihonoberjorn1612 they aren't just obnoxious to kill, its borderline fucking inpossible to kill a high level zealot barbarian. Magic is the only way basically

@@agrihonoberjorn1612 NPC adventurers should always be an evil wizard, a chaotic evil fighter, and a neutral evil rogue who is stunningly attractive and immediately falls for your players' most easily dazzled character. After a night of climactic love with the patsy, she should betray the other two but never quite connect with the target player. Thus remaining a wild variable any time the group encounters her. Sometimes, you may also use an attractive but misguided druid for ecology lectures and the sexings.

CasualNotice that seems like a very limiting mindset.

Yes

agree

That’s something ominous... #deathomen

I'm very sad that I don't have many opportunities to use that line in my day-to-day life.

I died and continue to die from this quotes

Lololol

He doesn't know what that is anyway. Nor does he care :D

Ar u saying mor numbrs?

YES 😂😂😂 I JUST CHECKED😂😂

🤣

Oh my word, you're totally right. That is so hilarious.

He dumber faster now

Quiet, you! He'll 'just fireball' us all if he reads the comments section!

What's his fireball going to do? With that -2 int anyone could dodge it without much trouble hahaha

Dunning Kruger effect?

We just want to hear you rant more

Understandable. This was hilarious. Can't wait to see what you do next, man.

I appreciate the Berserk references. All of your DnD videos are hilarious

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, Crap guide is amazing

Fair enough.

Have you done that to anyone yet)

@@velvetbutterfly not yet, seeing as we can't go out to meet people again yet.

Ryuu Ronin many places allow people to go out for errands or walks so I didn't know how strict your restrictions were, I'm glad you follow rules though

Same

@@ryuuronin9852any update?

*YES*

Wtf IS a wiggler?

@@Isheian is cute wriggle snek from monster hunter, if you knew this and were going wtf is this strange creature, its sorta like a mix between an axolotl, a sandworm and for some strange reason a plant that likes undulating at people vigorously

@@Bloodshield975 I was guessing Monster Hunter (Never played it) but am legit clueless beyond that. That explains a lot, thanks!

@@Isheian He has a monster hunter series.

Aarakoa barbarian, the flying rage

@@Archbound1121 Isn't that basically just a luchador at that point?

@@zyriantel9601 Now THAT is a character I want to play :)

@@zyriantel9601 Reminds me of Nacho Libre.

@@zyriantel9601 Barbarian with the Entertainer(Gladiator) background. Wears a fancy mask and speaks only Spanish.

Sunhold Striker0 Where?

Also curious, though I dread the answer.

@@TanukiTracks Let's be real, it was prolly D&D lol

@@strionic770 but imagine if it's in school

Depends - In kindergarten? No - At MIT? Definitely.

not destroy, just, see what happens if i punch this cabbage cart...

HULK SMASH

Tomorrow's list: Rip Tear Oh, my, a full schedule!

correction, do to list

It certainly does.

Nah just slowly calmly say 'I would like to rage"

I cringe so hard at the thought of a fat neckbeard doing this

@@888ian2 for that specific case don't forget to mention the spit flying literally everywhere in the room...

I smile and say "I enter rage", then begin screaming in-character at my enemies (and party members) as I run into the tightest concentration of enemies as if I cannot die, because as a Half-Orc Bear Totem barbarian I actually can't

Read in zefrank. Well done

@@nathanielgrey4091 Ah yes, two cultured gentlemen

Imagine being so angry that one of the teenage mutant ninja turtles gets children and then proceeds to piss off the sun all to make hell rain on earth for an Italian plumber man

Barbarian = Mario but BETTER

*insert captain america gif of understanding references* :D

no

Gerom Larayos Yes

@@wyvern-report Maybe

Did you SEE the outro??

Ah yes I love my JoCat more wiggly than before. The wiggler the better

THIS ISN'T MONOPOLY IT'S MANOPOLY!! GET THOSE WIZARD TACTICS OUTTA HERE!!!!

i actually made a Pirate Tortle with this class and sub class, so now not only i have resistance of all damage types from non magical weapons while ragin, my teammates also have this resistance, and enemies have disadvantage against them. also got me the sentinel feat, so now if anyone attacks other than me, i say "HIT ME YOU DORK! COME AT ME!!!" and just in case, i got me the grappler feat too, so if anything, i grab, grapple and pin down the enemy... yeah i think i made a neat choice owo

@@felipea.2228 You have resistance to magical damage too as long as they are bludgeoning, slashing or piercing.

“Oh no now he will have to make another one!” -me who wants more

One time I got really in character while playing a bear totem barb and during battle I literally stood up and yelled "IS THAT ALL YOU CAN DO? HIT ME YOU COWARD!"

I don't get why that's an issue. People always say martial classes are just "I hit thing" in combat which isn't entirely wrong but really only becomes boring if you don't think about what you're hitting. Yeah if you don't pay attention to the larger battle going on and just pick anyone at random that's gonna be boring.

I'm in a party full of casters, and a paladin, with my barb. I told the DM I cast sword, and did a reckless attack. Plus you can do all kinds of fun stuff: like using a goblin as a weapon, throwing your dwarf wizard out of danger, being a wall for your sorcerer to hide behind. But splattering goo that used to be enemies is really fun. Especially when I'm stealing kills from the paladin. She mad.

When I rage my character goes into a blood lust and starts laughing like a maniac

New ways of saying I do X can be fun too. Spaceship combat ex. "I align and shoot my shield-breaking laser." "I align and bust shield." "Align lens laser." "Align and pew." "Do a pew." "Line up and take a shot at that one." "Pew pew."

I flavor my rage as powering up like he's a Saiyan, I also dipped into fighter so it makes it really fun

Title of Jocat's sex tape.

Because is rose to five lol

Ah, my bad, nevermind.

@@usernameunavalible00 and that is the joke

@@usernameunavalible00 that is the whole joke of the change. He said it was whatever came after 4 originally and he is redoing the guide because it rose to 5. The punchline is that it is the same but he thinks it is different. Because dumb.

So his INT is actually 6, but he's still too dumb to know that.

My ancestors are smiling upon me Imperial, can you say the same?

When I played as an Ancestral Guardian, my bloodline ancestors actually came and taught me other class traits/skills which took time. Along with give me protection lol. I some how ended up with a Bard-barian Rogue.

Me, another barbarian with low INT: How you have four fathers? I only have.... *holds up one finger*

I will forever love my grung barbarian who summons other technicolor grung

My AG Barbarian just has his buff privateer grandfather burst out of his signet ring and start shouting at things while Jeremy the Barbarian cries in fear and confusion.

I think Jocrap is a way jocat channels his aggression.

Champion Fighter: *also rolls Nat 20*

Andres Champion Fighter: /Rolls Natural 19/

@@sagescribe_ What is he rolling for? Initiative? He already dead, tho...

Barbarian: *RAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!*

@@christianrose9166 Death saving throws

"Just you wait till my All-Father hears about this!"

So basically Draco Malfoy. Yes, I'm reaching for the low-hanging fruit, but those are the ones that make it into the fruitcakes.

And his father before him

“My dad can punch people with his ghost better than your dad”

same

Rip and tear!!

*cocks shotgun with religious intent and righteous fury*

@@icarue993 DOOM IN DND

@@geoshark12 >Me, a Eilistraeen cleric: *sharpens rapier with religious intent*

Or Halo. I haven't seen a Grifball reference outside of that game in at least a couple years

Or watching Aggretsuko

Id say all of the above.

It was "pavement lotion", wasn't it?

It’s funny cause I just got done playing Doom. 🤣

Utter death will rain upon all who move the thermostat.

Bro the unlimited power you get when you become a dad that can change your own thermostat

@@nappygrimm6411 You have forgotten the dreaaded MOM

@@d1g1beastpr1me7 the joke is that the most powerful thing in the universe is probably scared of his wife

@@jacobsheehan9715 Thats what I mean tho

"Fun reads to boot." That seems to be the case with old pulp material, like Zorro, Shadow, Solomon Kane or, well, Conan. Probably because they're well-written stories with fun stories with something great underneath it all.

Pavement lotion was better tho like hhuuaaaghhh

Nomecla Absorber, how else are you going to fill the cracks in the driveway

That's a phrase the needs to be on a shirt

Put ot on a shirt!

I need that phrase on a mug.

agreed

Please sign this survey to help our brothers and sisters be represented more on RU-vid. chng.it/ZZZm58XrWG

Yet he still claims the others are already perfect...

If anybody tries to argue that this one is worse, I have faith that we will immediately make them pavement lotion.

Now it's perfecter. Never argue with Barbarian grammar.

I would like an updated Fighter which includes all the subclasses like this. The original is great, but I like this one better.

@@iancomtois9832 [□>\

Im going to comment like because I wouldn't want to ruin your current number of 69

Adding this would grant a 10% increase to memeage. "Me, an intellectual"

Me, the Dragonborn Barb: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Chip Sealing will be in the area next week, repairing roads." "Is Chip Sealing the new Barbarian, and he'll be reapplying pavement lotion?"

Makes me think of the con artist rogue who poses as a fortune teller. "I see terrible things in your future. Your horse will be stolen and your house will be ransacked." Then proceeds to do it himself.

I foresee that your house will be nothing but smoldering ash by tomorrow morning. Are you sure? *Throws lit torch through window* Yea, pretty sure.

@@ryanlau8489 At least that would have some thought put into it, rather than just having yet another edge lord rogue who steals and kills because that's what edgy people do.....apparently.....

A barbarian who could predict the future “How am I gonna die mr barbarian?” “You’ll die in 3” “3 what?” *proceeds to draw weapon* “2”

@@mattevans4377 In the meantime I'm planning on making a Kobold rogue who tries to avoid killing if possible but basically gets paid to steal valuable artifacts and stuff

warlock as well

@@SilentPayne It's in the description of that video. Jo changed it to unlisted.

@@SilentPayne He made them unlisted since he didnt like them(warlock as well)

We don't talk about old cleric video

and any others he deems in very much need of a do over which isn't all of them but dude doesn't want to be on this project forever

We don't need god(s)! We have RAAAAAGE!!!

No, no, he still has his shield. It's strapped to the end of his sword, so he can shield bash and stab at the same time!

He never said drop the sheild. He said drop the defence.....OFENCE SHEILD TIME!!

Unarmed defense is not affected by shield This is one of the few ways to make sword and shield viable

He's playing a dwarf barbarian, duh.

See also: "We changed barely anything but now you have to completely repurchase all your codex's and your army because we broke this counter to you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA fuck you give us 500$."

Revisiting this comment after half a year, my take hasn't changed. Still can't get enough of the headbang.

I'm sure he has plenty of other things to make crap guides about. I mean he did an entire video on goblins.

Probably because we, too, have great fun with the Crap Guides.

Because he is wiggler

he does tho

@@partialbullet2215 You mean king of the wigglers. I pray he hasn't heard this disrespect. Or he might bring down the wrath of sword and shield upon you.

Numbers are for pussies

Someone actually published (kinda it complicated) series of books with a googolplex in it. If you know what it is it kinda amusing.

Richard Gustafson It’s the closest thing you can get to counting to infinity

JUST FIREBALL

@Siper it's the only wizard spell the barbarian respects.

JUST FIREBALL.

What's that, person within Fireball distance?

I played barbarian wizard once, I rolled an 18 and put into strength and proceeded to throw everything and fireball what’s left standing

No such threshold in 5e actually. We can assume based on 5e rules the minimum int to read and write is 1 int. As 4d6 drop low rolling four 1s has a 0.07716% chance to happen. This gives you a (rather unlikely) score of 3. If you take orc as your race, per VGtM you get a final int of 1. BTW to get an 18 on the dice rolling method requires only three 6s since you'll drop the low roll. A 1.6204% chance of getting a 18 before selecting race. This means to big brain 20 int gnome at level 1 is statistical more likely than to tiny brain 1 int orc at level 1. Both however have the same ability to read and write.

Illiterate, as a barbarian should be. That's too long of a word for barbarians, though, so we'll just call it "No scribble-scratch".

Hey, Eragon only knew how to count his coin before he met the elves and they called him too dumb to be a dragon rider. Until then, he did just fine... mostly.

​@@ianhall7513 4 int and 5 int have the same modifier anyways lol

@@zsheets7483 But "scribble-scratch" is longer than "illiterate"!

>Goes from INT 4 to INT 5 I don't think we have to worry about him living to become the villain anytime soon

Me, seeing any form of celebrity that isn’t internet based like dis> you sure about that?

I think you meant smarterer.

He got smarter by becoming dumber, it is alright

@Droxy 56 Bigthonk

Please upvote this person's comment. We need to make this line reality.

Yasha was a Zealot, not a Storm Herald. Although I understand the confusion as she did worship the Stormlord

Ancestral guardian is more like: Hey now lets forget these other guys and make this a 1v20 that way its fair for you guys

DON’T STOP DON’T STOP WE’RE IN LUCK NOW!

Maybe ranger could use a good update but the monk is great

*gently whispers* poopy points

The original Cleric video no longer exists, and nor does the Warlock one (which is kind of a shame. As wrong as they may have been, the Warlock one may have been better than his newer one, and I'm sure the Cleric one was also funny).

@@eric_moore-6126 ???????

Needs polish, like a live service game 2 minutes after release.

@@NameName2.0 I swear I read that like "polish ikea", and for one singular moment I was estatic to find out that that exists.

@@NameName2.0 maybe that was intentional, hmmmmmm

Gonna need some pavement lotion for that BURN!

5*

4*

Several people were not Captain America and did not get the reference. Bidet.

Ah, the wisdom of grog

One of my Barbars actually has an int or like 6 so I get that yeah

Hayden MacKay I don't think any of it is Adventurer's League legal, so it isn't officially 'fixed.'

What stuff they added to fix rangers? No UA is ever official, and he doesn't cover UA.

if you're talking about the class variants thing it doesn't really help ranger's scaling problems and creates another problem that makes the class unreasonably frontloaded. not to say the changes aren't good. they are. but they don't offer any incentive to monoclass ranger which has been a big problem since vanilla. the initial revised ranger ua is still the best fix ranger has gotten overall but that still doesn't quite solve all of the issues ranger has

Agan Mardrus honestly, I think the best 'fix' the Ranger ever got from UA was the Scout subclasses for Fighter and Rogue.

Fighter with a bow.

Me, a bard: hell yeah they're perfect

Me a ranger: :(

@@boogiebong420 Me, a Warlock: Eldritch Bla-----!

Me, an artificer: Hell yeah they're perfect

Me, a paladin: Yeah, that's pretty accurate. SMITE

Tome of Clear Thought (wondrous item, very rare)

He probably just played Doom Eternal as well

@@VinceValentine nah, he probably just wearing a headband of keen intellect, so you can have a minimum 19 intelligence.

Now you know how to raise your INT, you're welcome.

@@zsheets7483 Ah... I see your a man of culture.

That's any class that wants to get in SMITE distance. Including Iphone-without-cases Wizards.

@@tigerwarrior1787 But FIREBALL distance is greater than "smite" distance!

I see what you're doing, shamelessly trying to lure him out with SNS!--well done may I hide next to you in the shrubbery while we wait for him to walk into the trap

@@johnyshadow If Fireball Distance was the means of Social Distancing, then yes, I'd agree... but if someone is in SMITE distance, they are too close.

@@redwitch12 Unfortunately, the Knights of Nee is not a sub-class.

Only that Guts is a warrior with items that give him berserker rage, but sure ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@@martecoronel idk man, getting stapped through the cheek with a sword and then grabbing it with your teeth sounds pretty barbarian to me

Actually when I wanted to copy Guts back in 3.5 I went Fighter and took EWP: Full Blade.

Jokes on you, I was already a Barbarian before reading Berserk!

Yeah cutting off your hand so you could be free to stab someone sounds more barbarian than fighter to me. Fuck I need to see that again.

"What's your point person within Rage range?"

"What's YOUR point, person within fireball range." And inb4 INT5 comment, Fireball range can be outside of rage range.

Say Rage Range 10 times fast

My brain so fluffing tired that I had to google for "pavement lotion"

Zealot: I'm dead? And who decided that?

So as the previous reply implied, he’s that guy from seven deadly sins..... Escanor. The big No U broken member of SDS

Don't forget the Half-Orc Zealots here. "I'm out of rages and I'm gonna roll death saves? No u, I'm reduced to 1 because I've got tusks."

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY PERSON IN FIREBALL DISTANCE?!

What did YOU just say person within warlock cantrip distance?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What are you saying, person with *RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!*

@@ShugoAWay ez distance to travel with monk build and stun before you can even react

@BakPak Gaming SHUT UP OTHER PERSON WITHIN SMELDRITCH FAST DISTANCE