Are we childfree or childless? // Married 9 years with no children 

71. Childfree. Not even a whiff of a regret.

As a person who grew up with narc African parents who were very "food on table, clothes on back, roof over your head & NEVER spare the rod (bordering on abuse at times), let me say parenting is easy to be bad at - even more so if you're poor. I'm 30 now & working through a lot of childhood trauma. I'm literally in therapy for my CPTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder) because of the environment they reared me in. One of the main reasons I've chosen to be childfree is because I know I'd be a unfit parent. I have a lot of issues to deal with internally & it would be unfair to an innocent human who NEVER ASKED TO BE HERE to deal with as well. To me, a better approach to this question shouldn't focus so much on the wants of the parent but more 1) their commitment to raising a **good human** and 2) whether they have the tools required to do so. I think if most people thought of it that way - that is, centering the child as opposed to ones "desire" for one - I'd imagine we'd have more childfree people & plenty more emotionally stable adults. Parenting is so much more than keeping a child alive until adulthood - the fact that so many of us need therapy is a sign of that.

I'm child free. I've never had the desire to have children and in my younger years I was told several times that I would regret it. I'm 52. I still don't desire children and still no regrets.

35 year old married Childfree by choice woman with no regrets ever. I have never wanted children at all and made that decision at 6. I announced it to my family who laughed out loud. They are not laughing now as they have realised this "phase" is reaching the 30 year mark with no change in sight.

Child free. 35. Never want kids. Just gonna be the cool rich auntie they can visit in the summer and do fun stuff.

In college I did a story on adoption and to this day I check the Travis county database of kiddos and DAMMIT them kids are still TF in there and I graduated almost 10 years ago 😩😩😩 so while I’ve always wanted to be someone’s mom, I’m thinking way more deeply/intentionally about the fact that that doesn’t mean I ever have to be pregnant. But idk I still feel 19 in my brain tho so iono about being in charge of someone’s life

I think a mistake many parents make is thinking if you have kids you've given yourself purpose and meaning for the rest of your life and won't die alone. Plenty of parents die alone anyway without a sense of meaning or purpose when their kids move far away for work. We all have to find meaning and purpose and community kids or no kids.

Pregnant with baby number two, but somehow still very interested in this topic 🙈

Why is society so obsessed with people who choose not to have children. People who are child free are literally minding their business and living their best life whilst the ones with children are all up in child frees life, like no, just concentrate on raising your kids right.

Married 16 years here, no kids...childfree, i will say. What fascinates ME is folks who are actively and on PURPOSE getting pregnant DURING THE PANDEMIC. It boggles my mind on having kids in regular circumstances, but folks who are actively getting preggers during alla DIS *waves hands around in the air*...I just......it wows me lol. Having said that, my ancestors were having kids in MUCH harsher circumstances and conditions (although often against their will) and they were able to survive so there's that. Great podcast yall!

Childfree for life,closer I go towards menopause happier I get.

kids? with all THIS climate change? it's a no from me.

I wasn't supposed to be able to have children. I have two, and they're 15 year apart. Being a parent is an overrated experience. I adore my children and still don't think that I should get cookies for having used my uterus twice. It's also the most thankless job you'll ever have. And, there are no guarantees, even if you do a "good" job. that they'll be fully functioning adults. Add to that those of us who grow up in abusive households, and the job is even harder. I let my children know that parenting is overrated and isn't what makes them an adult. If they choose to not marry and/or have children, it's perfectly fine. My daughter is 31 and isn't married and doesn't have children. She doesn't want them, either. When someone asks me about being a grandmother, they end up looking for their heads because I don't believe in pressuring people into having kids (or getting married). She's got a happy, successful life. My son, a teen, also isn't interested in having children. Because he has issues with sharing food, I don't think that he'll even have a relationship, tbh. Society needs to stop lying to people about parenting and marriage. Having more happy people in the world is what matters. Not having more people in the world...just because we can make them.

I am definitely child free , very happy and in my 30's 😊

I just turned 30 too. I still have NO desire whatsoever to be a mother. I've accepted this preference a long time ago.

I'm a mom to a 10-year-old and 13-year old and have been divorced for 8 years now. I noticed that no one in the comments mentioned that y'all should also take into consideration how kids will impact your relationship with each other. Your dynamic will change because it has to and it's really hard to predict how your marriage will change if you decide to become parents. I never had the urge to have kids (I was indifferent), but then fell in love with someone who really wanted kids when I was 30. I had my first at 33 and my second at 36. I love being a parent and do not regret it but it is really, really challenging and exhausting at times. My kids are with their other parent 50% of the time which gives me time to recharge, do my own thing, and not have to take care of anyone else but myself. I think I appreciate that last part the most.

35, married 5 years, no kids no plan to have kids. I love going to Disney with no kids. I love travel and freedom. No kids for us. But I love my nieces and nephews.

Sorry for the length of this but I have many thoughts and a lot of experience with this topic: I'm 31, childfree and always have been. I did have a bit of a come-to-Jesus moment in my last relationship because he wanted kids and I loved him and wanted to be with him, so I agonized over it for a year. I read a bunch of mom-related books and books about motherhood (including women who regret it), I followed mommy bloggers and mommy Instagrammers, I talked to my mom friends, everything to educate myself about what that experience is like... And at the end of it I came to the conclusion that nope, I'm still not interested in having kids, ever. That guy and I broke up later for other reasons but remained friends. Ironically about 4 months after we broke up he told me he's come to the conclusion that he doesn't want kids either. He said me asking him repeatedly about exactly why he wanted kids while we were together forced him to examine the societal narrative he had been fed growing up and see that it wasn't actually the way he wanted his life to look. (Plus he had a terrible childhood and was subconsciously wanting kids to "prove" to himself and his parents that he could do it better than they did.) For me, I can name a million reasons I don't want them, but here are just a few: The burden of parenthood is so unequally placed on mothers. Women are penalized for having children while men are rewarded, in every sphere. Women give up their literal bodies, their leisure/hobby time, their career progress, their earning power, their independence - you name it, women sacrifice it for children. Women already carry an unequal amount of the emotional and mental labor in relationships, and having children compounds that. For some women, that sacrifice is worth it for a child, but for me it never would be. I'm extremely ambitious and love my work and can't imagine stalling the progress I've made. I'm also an introvert who needs a lot of alone time - can't have that with a kid either. I always say, "Are you tired of being the protagonist in your own life? Then have a kid!" You basically become a side character in your own narrative when you have a child. Your life becomes about them, not about yourself. I just have no interest in that. Then there's other side of the coin: The backlash from society when you're a woman who doesn't want children. Society basically views having a child as your purpose. You have the equipment, therefore you should want kids. If you don't want kids, you're a monster, you're unnatural, you're broken. The vitriol mostly comes from parents who feel attacked by your personal choice to not follow the same path they did, or they feel like you're judging them, or they're jealous of your lifestyle, or they didn't know they could choose not to have kids and now they're stuck with their choice, or they actively regret having their kid but saying that is absolutely forbidden by society so they take it out on you. That can be very rough to deal with. There's more, but I know there's a character limit on RU-vid comments so I'll end it here. Suffice to say I appreciate you talking about this and found it very interesting. Plus, just because you don't have your own kids doesn't mean there'll be no kids in your life. My best friend has a baby and I love that baby so much. This Christmas I'm going away with several friends who all have kids to this big house in the mountains and we're all going to spend it together. (We're not in the U.S. and COVID is controlled where we are.) So there'll still be kids and opportunities to influence young lives even if you don't have them yourself. Also, as an addendum because I'm seeing a lot of this in the comments: If you're not 100% sure you don't want kids in any context, you're not childfree, you just don't have a kid right now. If you're open to having a kid at some point but don't have or want one right now, you're not childfree. That's not what the term means. I say that just in case these people encounter a childfree space, because childfree people can be really touchy about that sort of thing.

No children and mid 30s. No ounce of regret and I’ve done so much in my life. It’s very fulfilling.

Childfree is not wanting and having no intention of having, children. I’m definitely childfree (and loving it I hasten to add :)

I get the thought behind “think about how you want your life to look like and have children accordingly” but nobody can promise how your relationship with your child/children or with your partner will look like when your 65. Christmas with a big family and somebody calling you from time to time sounds nice but that won’t be the reason I will or won’t have kids.

I’m not even 25 but I totally agree with your thought process. I’ve never been into babies (I can recognize cuteness) but I prefer teenagers, totally into the mentoring not really into parenting. I feel like there is power in choosing to be child free ✨

My wife and I are childless. I love children, but I would never bring them into a terrible world such as this one. I wish that my parents would've thought about that before having me.

Chris is right. It doesn’t have to make “logical” sense. At least not entirely. The decision to make a child is ultimately an emotional one and that is okay.

Child free and 43. I love it 💞

I've been hearing the term childfree for the past decade and I kind of think it applies to people who actively don't want children. I'd say the, "not yet, but maybe someday," is...like...child neutral? I don't know if that's a term but I like it. Childless is people who wanted kids but were unable (because of biology or circumstances). Also I get annoyed when men say that parenting isn't hard because statistically they don't do much of it! I've always said I don't know if I want to be a mom but I'd love to be a dad.

58 and childFREE! Never really had the desire to parent my own, but I was very involved with helping my fraternal twin sister raise her child. I'm AuntyMommy. I had a strong feeling that my then husband wasn't going to be for a lifetime and twinning runs rampant in my family. I was NOT going to find myself raising twins alone.

I’m 26 & also a Virgo. I’m child FREE bcus I have a phobia of giving birth but I do want foster/adoptive kids tho. This was nice to watch.

I’m a child free only child who would like to have a couple rugrats if the right partner comes along. I’ll say this, it’s a lot of pressure to be the only child. It gets lonely sometimes & everything falls on your shoulders as parents age. Meh.

Having been raised by someone who frequently said that she never wanted kids, I'm 100% of the opinion that people who don't want kids shouldn't have them. My son is almost 3. I love him to bits, and I literally begged God/ the universe for him. He also drives me crazy 12 times a day 🥰😂. If I didn't love being a mom, then I don't think I'd be a very good one. I don't see anything offensive about analyzing the pros and cons of this issue. Thank you for putting this out there!

I'm still shook at how many people got pregnant ON PURPOSE this year. I know the majority of them are likely first time parents, but I genuinely thought the way parents were struggling this year would hault pregnancies. Especially among working women because studies show mothers were quitting their jobs at an alarming rate this year. There was even an article about a woman with a business whose husband didn't work; he couldn't handle taking care of their 3/4 year old while she worked. She had to shut down her entire company. Smh.

I am 37 with 3 children ages 4 3 and 4 months. I have a career I love. Raising children is full of uncertainty. You have to decide if the tremendous uncertainty is worth the potential of those incredible moments of joy. Parenting is beautiful chaos. But it is a personal decison and I'm glad you are truly reflecting on what you want. Before I had children I reflected for months on whether that was really what I wanted or me conforming to gender norms and expectations. Also, as a parent and social worker, parenting isn't a zero sum game. You aren't giving up spontaneous vacations for nothing. I would take the first moment I saw each of my babies over a vacation anywhere in the world. This is not to convince you. The social worker side of me is reminding you to have a real conversation about what you want your life to be and what it could look like with or withouy children.

I'm in my mid twenties and intend to remain child free. I come from a large family where I am the 2nd oldest, so I helped raise my siblings (still financially assisting as they age tbh), so I have no interest of having my own. And it's hard to explain this to people/for others to see this as a valid reason.

In my early 20s and so confused about kids, my ex never really understood why I was thinking so much about the ethics of having children. Looking at how the world is, would I be inadvertently subjecting them to a life of suffering? ( climate change, political instability) can I really handle the physical and mental trauma of a pregnancy? Can I trust someone THAT much to be there through it all with me? Lots of questions in my head about a lot of things, but that just might be my general anxiety. 😅

Also child free in my 30s, been w/ partner for 8 years. I like kids, adore my nieces and kids I work with..but not sure I need my own? I don’t know if I’ll ever be sure?

I was indifferent and couldn’t make up my mind whether I wanted kids. I met my husband later in life and constantly felt that pressure to have kids and two years into my marriage decided i decided that we would be great parents and I wanted to share that with him. It was a personal decision. I had my daughter at 35 and parenting is hard at times. That pressure from outside and society never goes away. After you have one, people are still asking about if I want another and I’m like NO I’M GOOD. It’s a personal decision. I have always found it weird that people are in people’s business and asking why and when.... then when you say you don’t want kids people try to change your mind or convince you otherwise.... Can everybody just live their best lives and make decisions based on themselves...lol. 😂😂😂

I appreciate hearing this perspective from a married couple, who are also "young professionals" as they say. I'm about the same age as y'all, and many of my age mates are on the marriage and then house and then kids (or some arrangement of those) track, and are not very understanding or supportive when I say, "I don't want kids at this point in time, and it's possible that that may not change." Also, the "What if your kid cures cancer one day?" argument that some people put forth, it makes me think of a conversation about "potential" that I've had with friends before, which goes basically as follows: the societal "norm" (*cough* pressure) to have children, could lead someone to become an alright parent who does well by their children, but prevents that same person from being the best aunt or uncle on the planet (I'm reminded of a previous video wherein you talked about having time with your nephew, and being mentally/emotionally/physically prepared to spend time with your nephew, and to have that time set aside for him). As someone who works professionally with children (currently a preschool educator, I have also worked with infants and toddlers), people are shocked when I tell them that I don't want kids of my own, and yet, I feel that my profession is a great example of a way in which you can have a hand in raising children, without them being "yours" biologically or legally (and hell, at work we use that language all the time anyway, when they're in our child care centre, they are "ours" too; I can't tell you the number of times I've had parents say to their children at drop-off, "Go see your daycare mom.").

As a woman its a life long conversation and pressure. Men can be indifferent to the topic. We should all, men and women make that choice as we become adults and see what we want and who we are.

40 in October. Childfree and I'm loving it

I love the empathy he has for the plight of women in childrearing and impact of the pandemic

I love my little boy. He made me grew up, gave mesomething to fight for, gave me a new meaning to my life.That being said, kids are expensive and restrict your life big time! If you don't want any, I understand as I say more power to ya!

I am 29 and I honestly do not have no desire to have a child. People always tell me that I will change my mind but, honestly I don't think I will change my mind.

Off topic but his wife is so gorgeous ❤🌸....I love her vibe as well. Beautiful couple.

I've always wanted to raise children...... I enjoy taking responsibility in raising one of God's creation.... his own child......it's not even my creation...I become amazed of how great God is in his creations and making them everything he wanted them to be......I think that's amazing.....

All of this was so well said and honest. Thank y’all for being open to having this convo publicly 💕

I'm child free and plan to stay that way (parenthood isn't for me and that's ok!). I just wanted to say I love how much more this conversation has come up in recent years. Even just 20 years ago this is a question I wouldn't even *ask* as a woman. I think it represents a lot of markers of increased autonomy for marginalized groups that couples of all kinds, not just heterosexual couples, have a myriad of parenting options that can fit well with their lifestyle and preferences!

Not even on topic but can we talk about how good your documentary was?? Very high quality and insightful, your family is cool!

Just found this channel and I am feeling you, Hallease. Currently child free and would be cool with it for a lifetime but also wouldn’t mind if I had one or two kids. Also, you guys are very cute and I feel connected to your personalities.

New subscriber here! Really enjoying your podcast. This has been a topic in my friend circle for a while, as most of them are on their 2nd or 3rd child. I'm 34 and my husband is 38 and we are happily childfree. Even when I was a child, I always said the only way I'd have kids was if I adopted them. This was a huge conversation my husband and I had prior to us getting engaged years ago. And at this point in our lives, we have decided that having kids is not what we want. If for whatever reason it does happen, we will be ok with it, and love the child of course. But we are very happy with where we are and what we are doing in our lives. My family and friends have finally stopped making me feel bad for my decision (of course no one ever asked my husband these questions about when are you having kids) and I feel like the pressure is off of us.

I am so excited to hear from you all! I am also 30 and can very much relate. Based on my upbringing, I thought I would have kids by now. That being said, I love being child free. I want children at some point but have greatly appreciated this time where I could learn who I am.

I'm child free & happily married for almost 10 years

I was waiting for y’all to post another one of these! This just made my day!

Hallease! So happy to catch up on your new content. I haven't even watched the video yet, but I can tell I'm gonna love what you have to say about this topic.

ooop - the part where you recognize that you haven’t decided on whether or not you want to have kids, the period is where I’m at now and really resonated with me

I am child free, too. and 38. I think I won't regret.

Literally stumbled on Stumble.Well from one of Hallease's loc videos and I am hooked! The vibe is super chill.

I love your voice and it’s only the intro. Also I love this episode stand in your power and your couple independence.

Childfree but open to the idea of having kids as I approach 40.

I just enjoy the conversation between you. I enjoy the mellow voices and different POV’s.

Great video once again, really enjoy listening to you guys! Interesting talks! 😊

You know, I think I fall somewhere in the middle as well. Im currently childfree and love the life I've crafted for myself. But I've not ruled out kids in the future. The only issue I'm coming up against are the feelings of others about the state of my uterus. Its strange lol. I recently turned 29 and now everyone has an opinion in where my life should go.

Mr Hallease killed the intro....my comment on the previous version of this conversation still stands. On another note, one book on this topic that I found interesting is "Kid Me Not- an anthology by child-free women of the 60's now in their 60's".

28 married 3 years and still on the fence. Due to childhood trauma and loving free time. We have not done the work and will not have a child until we are whole and healthy. I do not want to pass down my issues and want to give a child a nourishing environment. With that being said I only want one 😂. I know what I can handle and want to experience motherhood but I don’t need multiples to do that.

I’m so glad I came across this!!! Definitely subscribed

Child free and very happy for it. Drifted between being childless and in longing but RIGHT NOW in this moment and era of my life....whoooooo chile...Amen for my dog and no human children!

Sorry, this is my first time watching this couple's YT channel, and I honestly love the way he looks at her when she speaks. Just subscribed! 💜Looking forward to watching the content.

You posted this a day after my 48th birthday. I'm in a long-term relationship, with no desire for tying the knot. We're both childfree and we've no regrets at all.

love the video, the amount of love your own child bring is unreal, that's hard to grasp unless you have your own. the amount of logic in the video is funny AF.... it comes down to do you wanna expand your family or not.

Chris is a STAR in this video. All the thoughts. All at once. Great content. (Child free since 4 (i would complain that kids are loud). My mom remembers me telling her at 11.) No matter your decision, make it. Don’t let life just happen to you ❤

Thanks guys. I enjoyed this discussion.

In What World Are Ppl Having Kids??? That’s the question!!! It’s a sick twisted evil place & ppl with no critical thinking want to reproduce?? Waste 9 months in agony & then lose your Freedom??

I’m so glad I found your video. I have really struggled with childless and now childfree. I am ok now.

this energy in the comment section though 👏🏽 29. Married. No kids because it's hectic out here!

I’m childfree and I wouldn’t trade it for anything at 33. My life is amazing .

Chris's sighs and rants are so genuine in this video 😂.

I love this conversation. I personally don't want kids either although I have somewhat maternal qualities (according to friends and family). I just don't see a reason to have them and also I don't want to bring children into such an unstable world. I'm already a person who worries so sending my children to school in America... whew chile. Also I just found out there are school shooter drills as early as preschool 😭 This is just messed up man and I don't think I can handle all of that. I salute those who are brave enough to be parents tho. More power to you ✌🏾

Child free. I'm cool with it. I really like traveling. And I'm thinking of vanlife. Soooo.... Yeah. Anyway you guys are as cute as ever!

Missed you guys glad to see a new video! I'm 24 and decided a long time ago I dont want kids. Highly doubt that'll change at anytime in the future. I do think it would be interesting to see what my genetics produce, how I adapt to being a mother with my own philosophy on life and who my kids could grow to be. Despite all that curiosity it's still a no for me :)

Loooool bro, as a permanent guardian of 2, once I heard parenting is not that hard I switched offfffff. Issa no from me sir, I’d rather not play with the chance of my offspring becoming a serial killer regardless of my literal blood, sweat and tears. I loved this episode!

I feel this so much. When I was younger I was 100% sure I wanted kids, now especially with the way this year went, I'm all over the place with how I feel. I totally relate to wanting to bond with and mentor an older child/adult. Lately I've been feeling pulled more toward foster care for that reason. I'm also open to adoption. I also feel the pressure as an only child, and my grandma's oldest granddaughter, etc etc, and my partner has a sister but I don't know what her plans are so there's a strong possibility I'd never be an aunt either. It's a lot to process. I've determined that I'm just putting a pin in the issue for now...

I’ve been firmly rooted as a child free individual. Now I am too moving toward more so of being open to having children of some kind(adoption or biological),but also feeling that the lack of them would not make me feel a lack. I’m 25 now and many of my friends either have children or feel childless. As of now I believe that I’d be open to being the fun aunt.

Just came across you and loving this channel!!

Hey :)love your videos so happy to have found them :) this video and conversation is so poignant to me right now thank you x I’m nearly 33 newly married and have never really wanted to be pregnant but have thought I’d someday adopt currently dealing with quite a lot of ‘ ooh Itl be babies next then ‘ Urghh !

When you have children, you don’t itemize what one parent does for the child vs the other parent. You do things for the child because they need to be done.

thanks for the commentary... i share similar thoughts 🤔 its constantly on my mind.

Great topic and discussion! I believe young people today should watch/listen to this video/podcast. There are a lot of considerations involved. I have 3 children (spread over time), my 1st was unplanned at 17, the 2 following were on purpose (LoL) ... 2 are now adults with 1 child each which is their planned limit, and my last one at home is 14 years old. I'm telling him that having a child is not a necessity and to be mindful of the impact and responsibilities of having a child is on your Life. As an experienced parent, I am allowed to say that it is NOT necessary to have children (there are sooo many branches of conversations relating to this statement). It IS necessary to figure yourself out, and your wants & needs in Life first. BUT I'm also a big supporter of fostering and adoption, being a parent is more than 'creating' a child. There are so many children (too many) in this world that need a 'parent'. Also, I totally prefer the phrase childfree! 'Childless' refers to a lack or deficit. A childfree life can be just as fulfilling or even more-so, as having any number of children. ☆♡☆

I spend a lot of time thinking about not having kids and having kids too! Especially bc I turned 30 this year also and also feel more financially stable and emotionally mature than I ever have. I’m still in a time in my life when I’m actively trying to prevent pregnancy and might even terminate a pregnancy if it happened right now. But I also know that I want to be a parent within the next few years and also worry about being able to conceive once I’m ready bc I also haven’t had any oops moment after 10 years with my partner. I know I want to experience pregnancy at some point. I know I want to parent a child and help them grow into adulthood by supporting their growth and curiosity. I love watching the Hapa family on RU-vid and am so excited about having curious growing kids too. I guess right now child free fits me more, but to be honest I don’t think of myself in relation to children at all right now. They just aren’t part of my equation. So it’s weird to associate with a term that describes my situation in relation to children. I just consider myself a 30 yo in a long-term partnership, and more importantly, someone building a career and a life.

I love your personality and sweet demeanor miss lady!!

Kids are blessings, yes there are hard times but the laughter and smiles last for a lifetime. Me and my wife are having #3 soon, we started at 35 after we enjoyed life child free. I say we have enjoyed both sides.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. My husband and I are childfree! Everyone should have a choice and make their own. Unfortunately society and family can have a bully-like impact on this. You can win some and lose plenty. A community I found is helpful for those to make their own choice, wearechildfree.

What a cute couple! I have been married 9 years and am 37yrs of age, and we do not have children. It all depends on your outlook I guess. I'm kinda in the middle of wanting kids and feeling scared to have them for several reasons. SO, I prayed and left it to Jesus! I said, LORD, Have Your Way! Help me to have peace and joy in it too! Amen.

Child-free. 😌🙏🏾

Yall really make a very good couple yall two look really good together

Definitely child free. I look at my teenage years and I was a very difficult child. Don't know how I'll handle it and lets not even talk about diseases and sexual predators out there. But I'm with you Hallease I'm turning 30 next year and that topic keeps creeping into our marriage. My husband keeps telling me to sleep it off lol. Love your channel

I watched this entire thing and I totally understand why you guys have these viewpoints. They are valid. For me, my husband and I have 5 children and we had them young. We married when I was 20 and he was 22. Our lives were in chaos... coming from sexual abuse, financial and emotional neglect/emotional incest, and we were seeking love and comfort in something. So the kids started coming right after we married. We thought that eventually things would mellow out and that everyone would eventually get along after the abuse aspects, and nope. We were so wrong. We had these kids out of a desperation for love and attention and pity, and now, we are financially suffering because we had them too quickly before we figured out where we wanted to go in life. We didn't know any better, and although everyone around was screaming at us for doing so, they were not helping us fix our emotional issues and instability so we wouldn't be sitting around, having so much sex. Now, as I am nearing 36 and my oldest will be 14, I find myself occasionally regretting having so many, but I am happy to know that they are old enough to stay home alone so hubby and I can start having date time again. We don't have help, so there are no babysitters or date nights, and that makes things hella rough. However, we have always wanted 5-6 children. We talked about this way before we married (3 years dating), so it is not a surprise. But I do understand that having kids out of emotional instability or as a coping mechanism can do more harm than good, even though it wasn't entirely on purpose. Birth control is not for me! After not being pregnant for 7 years now, I can finally begin to mold my life into something as I have finally developed my individuality while healing from 5 years of sexual abuse. I appreciate the reality of this video!

47 and childfree here. I was in your position, Hallease--until time made the decision for me. While I could never truly say I wanted them for sure, my brain does get slammed on occasion by the God/Religion/Societal "should" --the existential dilemma of lineage and progeny...smh. Only thing I can say to you is most things in this life, when you really think about it, makes little to no sense (smh) so, just continue to check in with yourself and your desires. Because, I believe desire (want) is, really, the only driving emotion in all of life. Rational or Irrational desire. I wish you both the best!

The title alone is deep. Whew.

“Little gelatinous(sp) thing” was hilarious

Childfree and forty, and I remember it was right around thirty that the super vivid pregnancy dreams started and I started being super distracted by baby noises. I thought bio clock was nonsense till mine started ticking. I am not saying it happens to everyone, but I've never wanted kids and was shocked as all get out when it happened to me.

Child free & loving it. I don't have any pressure from my parents but funnily enough it's my 13yr old lil sister who is on my case about it😂😂 I forsee myself not having any children. I'm 27 and can't afford one but If I were financially stable I still don't forsee myself doing so when I envision my future. I think a part of my mindset on this is influenced by having been the oldest kid and having helped out with all my younger siblings.. a huge part of me doesn't want that kind of responsibility and commitment. I just want to be my own child, haha. I haven't even solidified how I want to navigate the dating world, so being child free is 'easier' because I don't have a partner. Societal pressure, programing and stereotypes have not changed much. Steps have been taken but the marathon is yet to be completed.