Atheist Couple React to Christian Marriage Advice 

I get major narcissist vibes from that guy. Even when she disagrees, she has to tiptoe around disagreeing to make it sounds like she agrees. Her laughter seems like a coping mechanism to hide her feelings of ick for his weird behavior.

Morgan was definitely talking about sexual availability when she was talking about not neglecting your husband's needs just cause you have children. I know, because i was still a christian when i became a mom. And all the women were whispering to me, "just don't neglect your husband, make sure he doesn't feel left out or forgotten. Make sure his needs are met too." And they all meant sexually. Because unfortunately men's sexual needs are placed on this ridiculous pedestal in christian marriages. They all made it super clear, especially when they found out i was a nursing mom. One of the women who was in the lead ministry actually asked my husband if he was "okay with having to share me with the baby". Kid you not. It is a vile mindset that is drilled into young moms, that you cannot neglect your husband's "needs" just cause the baby is born. Like i was shocked how much they hounded me about it. I was 5 weeks postpartum, and these women are insinuating that i must give my husband sex in order that he doesn't feel neglected. It's such a sick mindset, and I'm so glad I'm not in that religion anymore And it's really distressing to see this mindset still being pushed, but in a much sinister way. As if it's not gonna be blatantly obvious considering the men aren't being hounded about "neglecting your wife's needs" once the baby is born. In fact some of the men were telling my husband "hang in there buddy, it's hell but you can get through it." And it was just about not having sex after i gave birth to a living fking human being. And was nursing that tiny human with my body too. Ugh. I hate that so much for any woman in the church.

I do actually agree with the you're not marrying their family part. I've had multiple dates where I was told having a poor relationship with my family was a "red flag." I would argue wanting abusers, traffickers, people who hurt others with no remorse, etc... to stay in your life is a much larger red flag. I come with a dog. That's about it.

Maybe it's just a RU-vid thing, like performing for the camera, but they are the perfect representation of the "inauthentic Christian" personality that I constantly feel with Christian people in their 20s. It's like this very specific type of social performance where you don't feel like they are allowed to just exist, so they are always being a kind of character -- like they're playing a role. Anyone else get that?

You'll never be able to convince me that these two don't absolutely loathe each other deep down.

When I was hard core Christian I’d go to conferences and one of the speakers gave this scenario where you your spouse and your three children go overboard a ship. Your youngest can’t swim. They implied the Godly thing would be to swim first to your spouse and ensure their survival because YOU CAN HAVE MORE KIDS and the marriage is most important. I’m not even a parent now at 31, but if my spouse let our child drown for my sake I’d be serving divorce papers.

Us poor bisexuals out here friendless 💔

I’m assuming that Morgan lives in a tent in the backyard during “her time of the month “

His air quotes around "scholars" is one of the most dangerous attitudes of modern evangelicals. Even all of the dehumanizing, horrible positions that many evangelicals take at their root are enabled by this attitude that grants them the freedom to take the Bible literally over what factually gets the best results. They're literally saying "I know this looks like a bad choice, but I'm making it anyway because God says".

Thanks for covering these people, we need more awareness. Paul disturbs me the way he thinks "interracial marriage" is woke 😳

Also, I would like to address the notion that divorce is the worst outcome in marriage. Very often, it is better for everyone. I would say ruling out divorce is the advice I disagree with the absolute most. If I didn’t have that mentality, my marriage would have ended quickly, which might have been very beneficial.

Paul and Morgan have NO chemistry together. It’s so weird. It’s like they just met 5 minutes before the camera started rolling. Paul talks to her like she’s a child and she follows it. For a married couple, there’s nothing between them.

The no friends of the opposite sex/no alone time with those of opposite sex hits hard with me. I have lost pretty much all my male identifying friends after marriage, a scary number of whom literally said to me my wife doesn't want me to spend time with you anymore. I had no interest in dating, marrying, or having sex with any of these people. They were FRIENDS who, from my perspective, I lost due to jealous, insecure wives. I seriously do not get why people are so into this idea.

I'm bisexual and realized later on in life that I've been had crushes on most of my close friends. Several of those friends are now married, I've stood up at their weddings, and I've been open about having crushes on them in the past. It's never been an issue for them or their spouses because they've never been interested in me like that and I completely accept that and still want them and their spouses in my life. Like excuse me for wanting to surround myself with intelligent, charming, beautiful people lol

Omg, y’all, some counselors are bad. Umm, yeah?!! My first experience with therapy was in the mid 90s. I was 18 years old, it was my sophomore year of college, and I was madly in love… for the first time. MADLY in love, so I came out to my folks. I wanted them to meet my girlfriend as my girlfriend, not “my friend from college.” So they “made” me go to therapy once a week. At a southern Baptist therapy center. It wasn’t necessarily conversion therapy, but it was damn close. I remember during my first session, the therapist stated how she was uncomfortable sitting so close to me, that I had a very intense gaze, and it made her feel that I was undressing her in my mind. This bitch was in her 60s, I mean, not to be ageist, but WTF?!!

It should be said that a lot of people, especially in Christian marriages where women are told they need to obey their husbands in order to please God, avoid conflict due to potential abuse and fear not because they got bad marriage advice.

As a parent, I 100% put my children ahead of my partner. And he does the same. We're adults. We can take care of ourselves. Our kids can't take care of themselves yet. Most of my day goes into taking care of them. But that doesn't mean my relationship is neglected. You do need to find time to keep your relationship strong. But the children need to come first. Usually when I hear Christians talk about putting their spouse first, it's used as a way to justify neglect and abuse. And it often does mean the woman is expected to take care of the man on demand, ignoring the children if it interferes with meeting his "needs."

Who among us (who has ever been in a male headship household) has heard the male head say, “absolutely! You’re better at this than me, please take charge!” Because….I certainly never did.

The "marrying the family" thing is something that's SUPER situational, bc different people have differing degrees of involvement with their family. Every member of my immediate family lives in a different state and don't talk for weeks or more on end sometimes, whereas my grandma visited her twin (they were both married) so often that they moved in next to each other and took the fence down between their houses! In the latter case, my grandpas were both "marrying the family" as well, but that wouldn't really feel accurate for my future spouse.

If you ask me, a guy who doesn't have any female friends is a red flag

Anyone else a little bit distracted by Morgan’s body language? I hope she’s ok because I am not convinced she’s super comfortable in that marriage.

Taylor and Drew communicate so well and with a lot of maturity and insight, there's a lot of mutual trust and respect. Thanks for representing Athiesm marriages so well. 😀

Mike drop moment: When Taylor says, "I'm bisexual--does that mean I can't have any friends?" on the topic of having friends of the opposite sex. Paul and Morgan forget that the whole world is not straight.

I feel like in a healthy marriage with children there would be no need to choose between the spouse or the children because both spouses would be on the same page about what they need to do to look after their children while balancing their children's specific needs with their own. Having to choose seems to indicate that one or both spouses are competing with the children for the other spouses attention.

Real communication can only occur between equals. After 30 years of marriage to a strong woman, I feel like I have a leg to stand on here.

I've been in a committed relationship for 23 years. We're not married. We've been happy together for 23 years. We don't have kids. I certainly wouldn't get my relationship advice from these two!

If you can't put your kids before your fully grown adult spouse; Don't have kids. It's hell being on the receiving end of a childhood like that.

I stopped leading people when I left the Navy. My wife is her own person. No one pays me to lead anymore.

I have a lot of male friends. It always bothered me that there seemed to be a narrative in the church that you cannot be around someone of the opposite gender, because you WILL rip their clothes off. Having friends of the opposite gender is fine. Having a friendship that detracts from your relationship is an issue, regardless of gender.

Not to be rude, but Paul sounded super insecure when talking about how Husbands are supposed to be leaders. Like he just has to be the one in charge. Even when he let's his wife take the lead, it still has to be known that this is an exception and he still has a leader title.

As someone who's parents put each other over their children, it was awful to grow up like that. My family has other issues too, but a lot of them were caused by that. My parents were a family unit and my brother and I were on the outside. My mother was always right, my father would back her up even when she was blatantly wrong, and they would both back each other up even when one was being abusive. If my partner and I ever consider having children, one of the major deciding factors will be whether we feel that we can put our children above each other, and if we aren't able to do that, we won't have children. It is completely unfair to raise a child in that environment.

Regarding the first advice (don't go to bad in anger), I think that is actually very, very important routine to go through, cleansing your mind before sleep, as it were. It's not about solving the issue, it's about letting go of the emotion. Hell, you should even do it when you're single. Whatever troubled you during the day, don't take it into bed with you. If you are upset with your partner, decouple the issue from the emotion. Work the issue during the day, for as many days as it takes, but don't let the negative emotions ruin your sleep.

It’s interesting how sometimes Morgan gets close to being reasonable and making sense then just misses the mark. I feel Paul is the one swaying her off course.

Your point on bisexuality at 28:20 got me 😂 that’s all it took for me to understand how ridiculous the notion is about having friends of the opposite sex. Guess being bisexual means I can only hang out with my significant other!

Great video, my relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, Really love her so much, i can’t stop thinking about her. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated because i literally can't envision my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

This part about them forbidding their spouses to have friends of the opposite sex is truly sad. When I grew up, there were several girls in the immediate neighborhood who were more or less my age that I've been friends with. I've always viewed girls/women as being equal to boys/men. I've had a short period of being a Christian myself (in my teenage years) and one of the things that bothered me the most was this segregation of men and women. I guess, it all stems from Christians' unhealthy view on all things sexual - and by extension, assigning a sexual connotation on a whole lot of things that aren't sexual in nature. Genuine friendships between men and women then is just one example among many others. Underlying all of this seems to be the fear that anybody of the opposite sex is an inherent peril by the sheer nature of their chromosomes. I don't know if this is a result of the toxic purity culture or a deep-rooted insecurity. Whatever it may be, I find it ridiculous. I am with my partner because she's the one I want to be with. If I didn't want to be with her, banning contact with the opposite sex wouldn't change this. In the same way, having normal human interactions with other people (including, gasp!, women) won't make me to want to run away from my partner. If this were the case, this would be an indication that there's something wrong in our relationship.

First one: I think, however, saying ‘We’re not going to sort this out tonight, and I need time to process this’ isn’t ’going to bed angry’. Going to bed angry is “You’re a fucking bitch. I’m going to bed.” The first is loving without resolution. You don’t have to sort out all the problems. The second is a real problem

My husband I don’t really fight. We discuss. We talk for hours. I just really enjoy talking to him and finding out his thoughts. I suggest having your own friends and hobbies. Be a couple but also have your own lives. Been together for 25 years. I still happydance when he calls me. He brings me a coffee home when he gets home bc he’s knows I love them❤.

I haven’t watched much of this video yet, but something I already love is how patient and attentive they are when listening to things they don’t agree with. They’re really listening and responding, instead of reacting and putting others down. I love that energy. Great videos ❤️

Hubby and I are closing in on 18 years married and we never fight or argue but we do have times of not agreeing however we are always respectful and considerate to each other. No yelling no name calling or blaming, mostly expressing our feelings. We are up in age and have both found most arguments/fights are over small things that in the larger scheme of things don’t matter. Coming from me the wife if the kitchen cabinet door isn’t closed doesn’t warrant being upset.

It just sounds like they're insecure and paranoid that someone of the opposite sex could "steal" their S/O away. Plus any time your partner is trying to control who you can and can't see/hang out with it's a big red flag.

The don't put your kids before your husband (that whole response was really sexist) was a dog whistle for keep giving sex to your husband after you have kids. Also what about the mom's needs? Why just kids and husband?

Every time I see/hear Morgan, I have to remind myself that she’s not an 18 year old.

They're depressing as f*ck and I'm sorry for the wife, because she's visibly uncomfortable in a lot of videos and to me it's clear she disagrees with his opinions, but is trapped into a marriage she probably believes she can't get out of. Girl, divorce his narcissistic ass immediately. They did a video on s*x advice and it was desperately sad. I saw a therapist react to it and talk about it. And just wow.

Ultimately, any marriage advice that assumes your spouse is mature godly is fundamentally flawed and problematic. I regret putting the unity of my couple ahead of the emotional needs of my children. I am often their only advocate and if I don’t have their back when necessary, that is going to hurt them and my relationship with them. Not worth sacrificing that to appease a toxic spouse (no matter what level of toxicity).

My husband knew when he married me that my family came with the package. My mom is my best friend and we live in the same town. There are healthy boundaries, but if my family and my husband didn’t get along it never would have worked out long term because I would have always been in the middle. I’m so glad my parents love my husband and my husband loves my parents.

Woohoo! You're back! Awesome video - those two are... kind of weird...

The husband coming before the kids thing in that dynamic is problematic. I heard the statement all the time growing up and it was an excuse to not properly protect kids. If your husband is the "priority" to the point you are excusing abuse this mentality isn't okay. I do agree you have to work on your relationship and make it a priority. Those priorities are equal though because both are necessary. If the choice is between your spouse and your children's physical/mental well-being, your kids should come first every time.

I think there is a difference between anger and disagreement. You can disagree forever, agree to disagree, and still let go of your anger. You don't need to agree about everything to have a happy marriage.

yessssssssss I'm here for this content

How Morgan worded the one about the kids, she said she rejects that their "needs" come first, but then did not talk about their needs (by claiming "friendship" is a need?). I do not have any biological children, but I raised my brother (as his guardian), and I think that a child's needs have to come first, unless one's partner's needs are unable to be addressed by them (i.e. a disabled person). Needs should be addressed accordingly to anyone's inability to address said need. Since their baby is only 4 months old, there are no needs that Paul could possibly have that would garner attention over their infant (unless an emergency situation). I respect both of your input on all of their rejection of advices. I really would love both of you to comment on more of their videos, because I feel as former Christians, you offer a bit more nuance to add in, showing that not all Christian values are bad, but there are so many that can be harmful (especially concerning fundamentalists and biblical literalists).

When P and M were talking about not having opposite sex friends it made me really sad for them. I have so many wonderful and fulfilling friendships with men and women (and I'm bisexual). My husband has a very close relationship with another woman and it makes me really happy for them! I'm so lucky to be polyamorous, it's made my friendships so much better.

The whole "marrying the family" thing, what if that family involves children from a previous relationship? I was 7 when my parents married and my dad adopted me. He knew that it was a package deal and he, at 24 years old, accepted that responsibility. Or in the case of an adult child who is a caregiver for a parent? In certain cases it is important that the spouse know that certain family members are a priority and come with the marriage.

Watching Taylor and Drew interact as a couple brings me such joy! Y'all are adorable!!!

God, I really hope to one day see a video talking about their divorce... because seriously, she's married to someone who's got the red flags all around him! EDIT: I should clarify, I am not so much rooting for their divorce, but I am concerned that this marriage is not healthy, and that Morgan is ultimately the one who is put in a forced subservient position.

The way I was taught the "You're marrying the family" rhetoric is that when you marry a person, your marriage is just with that person. But through your marriage with them, you are becoming a part of their family. And yes many people do have poor relationships with their family. That's still a part of their life that you are now included in. If I get married and my husband has a strained relationship with a relative, I would support him and his boundaries toward that relative. Because we are a team and they become my boundaries too. The type of relationship he has with his family becomes my relationship with his family and the same goes for him and my family. Idk if that makes sense at all. That's just how I was taught and of course there are going to be exceptions, because ultimately our priority is our partner

Regardless of what they say verbally, their physical language gives me a superficial vibe. Their eye contact, crossed arms, interpreting each other's talking, unhappy facial expression with hidden emotions...Morgan's body language keeps communicating that she is not comfortable and/or disagree with what her husband says yet she is afraid of expressing them verbally. However, our body can not hide.

"Women don't forgot to serve your husband" I can't believe you guys never heard that growing up!

Morgan has some real “I’m being held captive” vibes.

Glad to see you and GMS collab on this video. You guys seem to have good chemistry and play off each other well

I have a therapist who happens to be Christian and she even brings in very broad life lessons and examples from bible study, but she does so in a way that allows for them to be interpreted and useful in a completely secular lens. For instance one time she said that right know you are not prepared for every obstacle you encounter in the future-rather, you will be ready when each of those hurdles and challenges happen, so you shouldn’t pressure yourself or place these huge expectations on your present and current self. Super nice advice.

I really enjoy listening to you guys discuss these topics. And I think it goes a long way in showing that, while we reject the theism aspect, most people, regardless of faith or lack thereof, have very similar standards in the relationship sphere. Good job!

My mom basically did what Morgan mentioned at the end… put all of her time, effort, and energy into her children, but forsook her relationship with my dad. My sister will be leaving the house soon. I hope they don’t divorce.

Are P+M passive-aggressively workin’ thru some of their own shit in this video?? He’s like, “Marryin’ a chick doesn’t mean i’m marryin’ her whole ding-dang family! Amirite bros??” And she’s looking at him like, “Bitch, you made a point of saying that your mom is right upstairs and she gets a say in our RU-vid channel!” But then she says, “Verrry interesting, okay.” 😆

So glad you're back, great video!

11:15 Oh yeah, Paul agrees that the wife may sometimes take the lead. When he gives her permission.

Love Paul and Morgan. Thanks for advertizing their channel ❤️

The kids thing is interesting definitely can be an issue for marriages. Many married couples won’t even spend alone time together after they have kids. That means no dates, no trips, nothing just the two of them. That’s when it becomes an issue. Married parents need to be conscious to set aside time for each other and actively work on their relationship. And this isn’t just about relationships parents should have hobbies and outside interests that don’t revolve around their kids a parent is a role you have not your whole identity.

"hanging out with friends of the oposite sex can lead to divorce" *laughs in open relationship*

I’ve never commented so often on a video… but the longer I watch Paul and Morgan AS a Christian the more I face-palm. There is so much too detangle in their doctrine that I cannot even… 🤷🏽‍♀️

Yes I love these videos❤❤❤ thanks for your work!

I've been watching your channel(s) the past couple weeks and listen with deep interest how you not only found your way out of religious darkness by allowing logic to have a say in your life, but also that you managed to stay together by both finding that same path to travel together. I'm reminded of my favorite quote. It's by Bennett W. Goodspeed: "The difference between a comedy and a tragedy is that in a comedy the characters figure out reality in enough time to do something about it." 🙂I found that freedom from religious BS unraveled all at once (I was at the doorstep for years but never claimed it), and then was swept out from smaller spaces in my psyche in layers over many years. However, the night that the house next door to me burned down I had no thought of an invisible savior for me or my house in my deepest moments of anxiety and action, nor did I worry about needing salvation prior to death, and I knew well and truly that religion was not attached to my psyche at any level. Not even the tiniest inkling. Truly free. I see more and more freedom in your futures. 🙂 X-posted on both your pages....

Many relationships get "forgotten" when kids are around. People get so busy with their jobs and kids that not enough time is spent on the relationship. Many times I don't even think people realize it right away. The day to day grind takes over.

My biggest thing with my boyfriend and I, we don’t go to bed angry exactly, we will say I love you and continue fighting the next day lmao and we also never argue in public, or in front of people, we wait until we’re in the car or at home

You two are such a lovely couple! I really enjoy your videos together.

Dude quoted lyrics from a breakup song, so...

You know who else said you need to put your spouse before your kids? Michelle Duggar. And she had 19 kids. That’s why those kids all raised each other. While she was having sweet fellowship with JB.

New subbie. Love your videos. Marrying the family topic is situational. My big Hispanic family is very important to me, it’s almost cultural and I wanted a husband that understood how important my family is to me. I do however understand that toxic family members need to be kept at arms length or cut off all together.

I’m happy to see a post from you. P&M have been a special interest for me lately for some reason and Tbh I forgot about this channel! I enjoy your commentary a lot though!!! Also ur hair looks fantastic!!

Fascinating. My feeling on advice in general is you have to own it and decide if this is applicable/works for you and your situation, and you also need to understand whats behind the advice (not just the snappy sentance). Even in therapy situations there is no 'one true way' and there has to be nuance and because a particular method has a high success rate, it doesn't mean it will be right for YOU. The don't prioritize your children at the expense of your spouse is a good example. It's not terrible advice, its way too easy as a parent to be overwhelmed and not make time for each other and grow apart. The child though is utterly dependent on you. So you have to decide what's really important and find a balance and sometimes yes that means totally focussing on the child. But, you can still do that together, supporting each other. As I've got older, through a divorce and a kid growing up, my views on relationships have changed. Now I much more think of three entities in the marriage, me, them and us. Sometimes its important to prioritise ourselves and a loving partner will be behind that (in the end they get a better you to be with). Sometimes we will make decisions that go against what would be best for me/them but are better for us. I never go away, they never go away, there is just a different thing to be considered which is 'us'.

I had the exact same thought about Bisexuality when they were talking about friendships with the opposite sex. 😅

You sound so similar to jordan from jordan and mccay xD and paul singing the jonas brothers took a year off my life

The only person who I can think of who would say that you shouldn't have any conflict/you should not bring up things you don't like is the transformed wife.

I like how respectful both of you are.

On advice #2, where there saying there needs to be a leader in a marriage and that egalitarianism is bad; this is a very binary way of looking at things, where you either have a leader OR egalitarianism (and also one is better than the other) My husband and I play to each other’s strengths in the relationship. I take on the day to day tasks like cooking, shopping, & pickups, and he handles the bureaucratic stuff like bill payments, and home & electrical repairs. When it comes to cleaning, he’s better at cleaning in daily small bursts and general cleaning maintenance, whereas I tend to take on the once a week deep cleans. I’m better at planning things out, he’s better at responding to spontaneous issues. And if one of us has more on our plate than the other, we help each other out. If one of us is going through some mental health stuff (yay us both having ADHD & depression), we know that sometimes we do shoulder more of the responsibilities. Egalitarianism isn’t everything 50/50, it’s knowing that sometimes it’s gonna be 80/20, 25/75, etc. I also love to tell people when they ask us for marital advice that we’re not marriage experts. We’re the most knowledgeable about *our* marriage and even then, we aren’t perfect.

I absolutely _hate_ the idea that the man has to lead in a relationship. My parents are like that. My mom has been disregarded and walked over and she’s proud of it. It’s how she was raised. As a result I was never taught to stand up for myself which led to me being sexually assaulted among other things. I often don’t know how to communicate in a healthy manner either. I’m slowly learning but an entire lifetime of control like that has been so detrimental. My dad probably has no idea he’s controlling. They wonder why I don’t visit.

This is the best atheist video on the RU-vids in a minute! I forwarded it to like 8 of my friends!

So much of the “wisdom” in that world is based on what’s necessary to keep together at all cost marriages that never should have happened: the kind that started off as two people who were barely legal adults, with very little exploration of self or relationships, getting married quickly because it was the thing to do or because they wanted to have sex. When the foundations of a healthy relationship were never built, or they weren’t ever really a great match for each other, then a lot of things pose actual danger of divorce that wouldn’t be a problem if they had taken their time and married the right person for them in the first place. That friend of the opposite sex does pose a temptation risk when you should not have married your spouse in the first place and you are using friendships as the only outlet for the part of yourself that has never been satisfied in your marriage. Or, if you never really found that closeness before kids, it can be very easy to shift all of your effort into the kids, who you both truly love and adore, as a means of ignoring the deficiencies in the marriage. That’s not to say that it’s impossible to find the right person for you at a young age. It looks like you guys did, and I did the same. But when I look back at the pairings that I saw in my Christian circles back in the day, most didn’t actually seem to tick off the boxes for really fitting well with each other in a way that bode well for the duration, you know? And all too many couples got engaged because they happened to be dating at the age when everyone else was getting engaged. And the thing is, if you are coming from the point of view that divorce is never ok, combined with a marriage between two people who probably would have broken up within the year if they kept just dating instead of getting engaged, then evidence based therapy is a real threat, because it’s going to show them how flimsy their bond is and what actual emotional health looks like. And that probably won’t include staying married. And let’s be honest: how many older church couples did we all know that were almost never seen together outside the church pew? He would spend most of his time at work or in church leadership, she crammed her free time full with organizing Sunday School, potlucks or the women’s Bible Study to avoid being home when he was. Truth is, the secret to their marriages was avoiding each other as much as possible and they needed the husband to be the go-to decision maker in order to avoid having real discussions.

There are some genuinely problematic statements that I don't think you fully addressed. Not having opposite gender friends - controlling your partner's friendships is a massive red flag. Relationships are supposed to be about trust and respect. Also, if your partner can't spend time alone with someone without jumping into bed with them or whatever then they need serious therapy for their compulsive uncontrollable behaviour. Head of the household - another red flag and open to abuse. How can one partner ever freely express their opinion if they know that their partner may completely disregard it or even get angry if there's a differing opinion. If one person always gets their way in any disagreements, that creates a massive power imbalance. Husband > kids - sort of relates to the last one, it's not healthy to put one person on a pedestal like that. Also, this implies that if the husband was harming the kids in some way (maybe minor like not helping them with something up to actual abuse) then she would side with her husband and not help the kids. There also seems to be this assumption that he won't be doing any of the parenting (and because he's in charge, she can't do anything about it) - no wonder she's so stressed out with their 4 month old! They also have this weird idea that the kids will suddenly disappear from their lives at 18. Just because legally they're adults, doesn't mean that they stop needing their parents. It's also really common nowadays for kids to live at home well into their 20s. Also, if both parents are parenting properly, then they'll be working together and can actually make time for themselves separately or with their kids. There are also babysitters if you want to go out without the kids. I'm not saying that their relationship is abusive, but it's definitely got some unhealthy tendencies that increase the likelihood of abuse (particularly from him). We don't want to return to a time where the head of the household can beat his wife without consequence, because he's "in charge" and can therefore decide if his wife "deserves it". Can we promote healthy loving relationships of all varieties instead?

If you have to strut around saying I'm the leader I'm the leader -- are you really?

So, I am really enjoying you and @GeneticallyModifiedSkeptic covering Paul and Morgan’s marriage advice. It’s literally my favorite. My only issue is with Paul and Morgan, I hate hearing both of them use combinations of popular lingo and AAVE. Them trying to be cool is cringe worthy every time 😂

4:57 that is actually good advice: "good night, i love you, we'll figure this out, we're still on the same team." When you're overly tired or when the argument has gone on for too long, you won't be able to solve it in that situation. Sometimes you need to disengage and ground yourself, away from your partner. Which doesn't mean you should hold a grudge against them. Reassurance is a kind thing. You ARE still on the same team! ❤

I'm commenting as I watch, so maybe they will explain that later, but I think Morgan says the first one is weird, because it's based on the Bible actually. She phrases is it as "don't go to sleep angry" but it's referring to Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry". I guess Morgan means that the weird thing is that they disagree with it.

I have a very dim view of people who can't grasp the concept of genuine platonic friendship between men & women.

oooo yes i really respect paul for this one sometimes conflict is healthy this is very true

LOL, I loved that very witty intro sketch!

If you marry a person you're marrying their whole family is tricky advice to me at this point. I do think chosen family is important, but people who aren't estranged from their family are very much influenced by them. As a for instance, my ex's mother got divorced before we got married, and then set about having a destructive influence on all of the marriages in the family including ours. Today, my ex's aunt and both of her sisters are divorced as well. That's all of the marriages other than her grandma's second marriage in the entire family. So yeah, be aware of family dynamics when you're marrying someone. PS I'm not saying I didn't contribute to our divorce. Divorces are almost always a two person problem. I'm just saying her abusive father and the bitterness he left in that whole family was a big factor that resulted in my ex being very willing to give up on our relationship as soon as there were issues

Morgan’s body language freaks me out. So unsure of herself. Great video!

16:15 I definitely heard that from my old fashioned southern mother. "Don't be difficult."

10:09 the look on his face is priceless when the wife gives him “permission” to lead.