Boundaries for Beginners: How to Set and Keep Your Boundaries

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Everyone needs healthy boundaries in their lives if they want to have healthy relationships. Setting boundaries is about more than just saying no - and when you learn how to set boundaries in a way that people will listen to and respect you will not only feel more free, but you will also start breaking the cycle of people pleasing and codependence.
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Опубликовано:

25 авг 2021

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Комментарии : 389

@MeganMichelleTimeLapses 8 месяцев назад

I don’t struggle with setting boundaries, I struggle with setting them kindly

@jeslord718 2 года назад

If people don't respect your boundaries, they don't respect you. If they don't respect you, they don't deserve your time and energy.

@ronbacchus4913 2 года назад

Well said, JesLord. Establishing clear boundaries teaches others how you wish to be treated.

@donnalauber5001 2 года назад

Criminals respect nobody, nothing is sacred to them - so this does NOT always stand up if your in law enforcement.

@donnalauber5001 2 года назад

I think it's a bit typical of the times we are living in, the "ME" generation. I believe quite often, the person your dealing with just needs someone to understand them instead of judging them. I believe in taking the time to care and explore what's underneath them, vs my own personal needs. This is not disrespecting my own person imo. I have turned situations around, even prevented a suicide on my way home from work because I took the time to talk to a young girl who literally was in the middle of street on ground banging her own head against the pavement in traffic!

@donnalauber5001 2 года назад

This may sound counter intuitive but I find the "Me" generation philosophy rather selfish and cynical in a world where it's going off the rails with Self possessiveness.

@donnalauber5001 2 года назад

My first time ever on this, and I am NOT a fan of marriage and family "counselors". This young lady deserves an applause for her delivery of such sensitive information.

@pegc9889 2 года назад

I always thought that if I walked out of a room when someone was yelling at me or criticizing me, they'd accuse me of running away. But now I understand that it doesn't matter how it looks to them.

@audra6191 Год назад

Aąaąaąaaaaąaąaaaaaaaąaąaaaą

@RR-dh4jh 11 месяцев назад

I wish I learn this for life

@pacoes1974 Год назад

As a therapist I think I will just have my clients watch this video when they have boundary issues. This is amazing.

@charmainechitiyo2826 11 месяцев назад

hi julia kristina my name is charmainechitiyio and in my self and my life i was whanted to know about boundaries in relationship

@Just_Me71 Год назад

At 51 years old, I'm going to put words to boundaries that I thought were just understood. And I'm going to do what's best for me if they are ignored.

@rebekahfowler2958 2 года назад

I wish I had known about boundaries when I was young. I was people pleaser who didn't know who I was. Xx

@juliakristinamah 2 года назад

Do you know about them now and are you using them now?

@rebekahfowler2958 2 года назад

@@juliakristinamah I'm learning . Your videos gave helped a lot. I'm so grateful for your channel.

@ronbacchus4913 2 года назад

I wish I too learned about healthy boundaries when I was younger Rebekah. They are so important in life and in establishing one's sense of self. But it's never too late to learn 😀.

@magydimitry8181 2 года назад

Ditto

@Niamh2012 2 года назад

Same. My mother was even worse. I then went to ripping heads off when someone crosses the line which I want to change.

@rokeishiarodgers7205 Год назад

This video resonated with me. I realized that the reason why i struggle to set boundaries is because i feel im not deserving and that i should say yes to people and be a "good person" my first step im going to take is to write down my boundaries and why they are important to me. I will also use the resource on multiple ways to say no.

@kevintaylor6015 2 года назад

I had a girlfriend who used to lie to me. I told her I dont want to be with someone who lies to me. She said I was making too big of a deal about it. I said goodbye. Lol. Thanks. This was really good.

@juliakristinamah 2 года назад

Lol. Love this.

@lesliengo8347 Год назад

Good for you, it can feel difficult but saying no means saying yes to other things that are more helpful

@MauriceRivers415 3 месяца назад

Dead silence/non-reaction scares narcissists, haters, people who don't respect your boundaries, and people who are jealous/envious of you. Jealousy can mean a lot of things: rumors, competition, lies. They look down on you. They don’t miss any detail of how you are dressed or how you act, etc. They are always hanging on what others are doing or saying. They are often critical and judgmental. They often reveal things to others. They never have enough of anything; they are never satisfied. They always believe that other people are more fortunate and get everything. Often they are not creative. In fact, it is common for them to copy others. And they are happy when others fail. There will always be jealous people around you. You will come across them in your friend groups, in your workplace, in your neighborhood, and even in your family. Don’t let yourself be susceptible to this negativity, nor let it bring you down.

@Mardi_Long 7 месяцев назад

My therapist suggested I listen to this. It is not that I do not already know these things. It is almost like I need confirmation that what I think I know is OK. And - yes - it is like getting "permission" to proceed. Thank you. This is me moving forward :).

@katied2754 Год назад

It's one thing KNOWING how to set boundaries.... it's another thing completely BEING ABLE TO speak up and set those boundaries.... that's what i struggle with. I know what I should say and how i should say it.... but I'm not able to bring myself to actually say what needs to be said... so instead...i stay silent and try to tolerate the behaviour as best i can....i wish i could actually speak up without fear

@Ddeath.Eaterr Год назад

Same

@panelep7856 6 месяцев назад

Have you ever considered working on chakra alignment? Sounds like you’d benefit from clearing throat chakra blockages. But many times when one is blocked, others might be also.

@angelhust41 3 месяца назад

Your not alone iv been doing that for 15 years know😢

@haroldharold9042 2 месяца назад

You don’t always need to communicate your boundaries to other people. You need to know what your boundaries are and move accordingly, walk away if you need to.

@angelamurphy75 Месяц назад

Sozo inner healing is amazing. Deal with the root.

@SparksAdvice 11 месяцев назад

A boundary, in essence, is a checkpoint or a wall that does not let things in. And if you're smart about it, you build that wall just the right way so you keep the bad stuff out while still allowing the good stuff to come in.

@cornelioencarnacion4788 2 года назад

I only have to say one thing Julia. I am not the same person since I started following you and my life has changed and improved for the best! Thank you

@brianlobo5348 Год назад

I've had family members not only come into the house unannounced but they bang and kick doors when we didn't answer the door. Boundaries are so important.

@Stanley-xc4yc 3 месяца назад

Same here, I've had family member bang on my apartment door. It was so embarrassing and maddening. But in all fairness, from Kristina 's information. I did not set the boundaries properly. I had no idea of how nuanced setting boundaries is. 😊I definitely had the dysfunctional family upbringing, & struggled for decades with healing. I'm grateful that I'm healing. But also I'm finding from time time how maddening this makes me feel as I realize how dysfunctional my upbringing was. 😊

@haroldharold9042 2 месяца назад

Me too. My mother has no boundaries around the bathroom door either. The last time I allowed her in my space years ago, I was in the bathroom with the door closed for a few minutes and she thought it was appropriate to bang on the door demanding to be let in immediately so she could use the bathroom. It was not an emergency, she just felt entitled. I informed her she needed to leave right after that and I haven’t let her back in any of my living spaces since.

@Stanley-xc4yc 2 месяца назад

@@haroldharold9042 dang☕🍩

@casuallycasualty4933 Год назад

omg that first part where she said “setting boudries is not about controlling people.” and even though i know this fact, i finally feel like i undestood it and it clicked. it is not selfish of me to ask you if it involves me. it is not about you or changing you at all. 😭😭👍🙏

@recoverywithlee2591 2 года назад

This is such a tough one, and it takes persistence and practice. Try setting reminders to yourself on the phone, through sticky notes, to stick to your intentions. Start the day with affirming that you deserve to be fair to yourself. Take notes and reflect when you gave in to the demands of others. Really take time to plan the approach and the practice. Good luck to us all!

@jimrich4192 Год назад

In 12 step therapy, I learned all about healthy self Esteem, boundaries & how to say NO and yet, fear & early conditioning has caused me to shrink right back into many of my unhealthy old patterns, so thank you for posting this video. ❤

@AliciaGuitar Год назад

Fear is the root cause of my poor boundaries. I was afraid of the push-back. Outgrowing that fear through faith helped my boundaries become much healthier.

@alexej6080 2 года назад

I've never had boundaries before, and this weekend I realised something I just wanted to share here. I was starting to feel anxious at one point, and when I looked at it, or just felt it, I realised that it was my energy levels getting lower, getting closer to my own boundaries, and because I never even had boundaries before anxiety kicks in because my body doesn't trust that it's gonna be taken care of. And only then did I realise that I was in need of some time to recharge. I really want to let myself know that I am here now, that I will take care of myself and listen when I'm tired. (instead of getting angry or frustrated that I 'shouldn't feel tired so easily' or 'other people can handle more') That moment made me realise that it's more than just taking rest, it's rebuilding trust with myself and working through that old anxiety.

@MatrixRaider Год назад

I really resonate with what you shared Alexej! Only recently have I understood the tactics of manipulation used against me to brainwash me for years under a religious rule... However, I have overcome a lot of that and am ever-growing in my journey of learning my self-worth, that I am enough, and I am deserving of unconditional love. Learning how to create healthy boundaries is a skill worth learning. I like the ebook Healthy Boundaries by MotherTree Consulting. Whichever route you choose, I trust & believe You'll get there!

@Slayy07 Год назад

This whole thread is everything. ! Thank you all for not only the video but the comments! I’m proud of myself for doing the work now! 🫂

@lisajohnson6351 Год назад

Thank you for articulating this! Very helpful and affirming!

@VoxMora Год назад

Beautifully put! I have not experienced this yet, but that is because I have not tried establishing boundaries yet. Thank you for the heads up ❤

@roberttruman8444 Год назад

I never knew what boundaries were until a year ago and I still have trouble working out what my boundaries are. As a child I got punished for having a boundary. Boundaries are there to make you feel safe. So the anxiety is in reaction to feeling unsafe. Unfortunately if you don't have boundaries, you won't recognise other people's boundaries and may unknowingly cross them.

@NFSMAN50 2 года назад

Setting boundaries keeps peace and your mental health at bay. It's good for us to maintain boundaries with others!

@patrickmorton1187 2 года назад

Boundaries are important especially with family. Our mental health and energy should not be depleted for others. I find that saying let's not talk about this is helpful, when conversations becomes uncomfortable. If that doesn't work I just leave. Mental health is more important than most people understand. Thank you for the tips on setting boundaries.

@birgitlaule1932 Год назад

I agree with you when the other person becomes aggressive or abusive or just wouldn't give you a chance to speak... or if it is about something that doesn't concern your relationship with this person (like politics etc.) and I totally get where you coming from. I just feel that I have to mention another way of using that sort of response... I also made the experience that whenever I wanted to talk about something that felt uncomfortable for the other person, he would just walk away, saying exactly that: "let's not talk about this, I don't like talking about this..." with the result that we never could solve any issues because without communication it is not possible. Well, as I am learning, it is his choice at the end of the day... and the only option it leaves me is to walk away from that person all together... it's painful, but luckily there are no children involved...However, if this is a "healthy boundary" to just refuse any communication about any uncomfortable topic... I don't know...

@celestestone Год назад

Completely agree with Brigit. Just walking away from anything that is uncomfortable to discuss is called avoidance. It is important to have difficult relationships conversations in healthy ways. Walking away is stonewalling.

@k-lab3824 Год назад

@@celestestone I agree using the silent treatment is using boundaries as a form of punishment

@Johannastairwellstudio 7 месяцев назад

@@k-lab3824not necessarily, it depends if you’re wanting to have this crucial conversation with someone who is lucid or not, who is open or not, who is defensive or not, who is a narcissist or not.

@user-vb7hd2uh8r 6 месяцев назад

It is definitely not healthy to walk away from any topic a person doesn’t want to address but if they are screaming and degrading you, you shouldn’t stay for that convo is what I’m gathering from the comments. Addressing issues is critical in any relationship and walking away isn’t a boundary in all circumstances. Sometimes it’s avoidance. But you are right. At the end of the day, a boundary is you deciding what you will do if someone isn’t behaving safely within your boundaries. You cannot force your mate to change but you can say this isn’t what is best for me and walk away yourself from the unhealthy relationship. ❤️

@lexi_catherine 2 года назад

i swear you read my mind whenever i'm going through something. it's like the perfect video pops up right on time! 😂 thank you for this!

@trinaperfect5638 2 года назад

I feel the same!

@juliakristinamah 2 года назад

Glad it came at the right time Lexi ;-)

@lorilee7213 2 года назад

Ditto

@MuscleFlexChris 2 года назад

Found channel to help stop overthinking and be happier, and grateful :)

@jackieferrarimusic Год назад

I really wish I had known about this a few years back. I struggled with this in high school with peers and with family members. It was hard to keep boundaries and I folded often cause people guilted me into doing so. Man this was helpful! Schools should be teaching this stuff!

@arnedelange9857 2 года назад

Thanks Julia, it is important to be reminded of the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries. Boundaries can evoke blaming shaming guilting and anger from those who lack respect for you. That's on them to manage. Nobody has the right to disrespect you because of your life choices

@ronbacchus4913 2 года назад

I think good boundaries are like good fences between neighbors Arne de Lange. Establishing the limits of a relationship are key to any successful relationship.

@donnalauber5001 2 года назад

Freedom of speech is precious, so are laws - which get birthed by other parties negative, harmful actions. Two sides to everything.

@donnalauber5001 2 года назад

Nobody has the right to disrespect you because of your choices - unless your a Christian, NRA member, Trump supporter - then all of a sudden all this babble goes out the window?

@donnalauber5001 2 года назад

Talk about neighbors! Now that's a subject everyone of us has had to deal with.

@brightpage1020 Год назад

Love your term for your fans "shifters" like energy shifters from stressed and crazed in frustration with yourself or lack of success to clear, calm, peaceful observance of key principles that can get us there. Shifter sounds so subtle yet powerful and effective. Grateful.

@andrewknapp5691 2 года назад

Thank you for this talk. I've been married for 44 years and always had a hard time keeping my own boundaries. When I would get home from work I found that everything was planned for me to do with the kids and I simply just went along whether I wanted to or not. I felt that it wasn't considered that maybe I didn't want to do all the family obligations. So now, as I retire, I'm working hard to find what it is that I really want to do with my own time. And wow am I getting push back in many ways when I try to establish a boundary. I'm persevering, though. It's tough when you've always been a nice guy and then seek some independence only to have a passive aggressive, whining, manipulative schmooze hit your little fence. Well, anyway, thank you for your encouragement from this talk.

@personincognito3989 2 года назад

So, let me get this straight. You are the parent and you didn't want the family obligations!?

@andrewknapp5691 2 года назад

@@personincognito3989 Hmmm, I'm an extremely dedicated father. It would take a book to get it across to you. How could you understand with the little paragraph I wrote? Your judgement is incorrect.

@nismoskys 2 года назад

Person incognitos comment was way off the mark. Kudos to you Andrew for taking a stand for your boundaries. There will be friction at first, especially when people are not used to being turned down or having every request answered. That's the part where, as mentioned in the video, intermittent reinforcement can make it harder to break the pattern of giving in. I really like how Julia highlights how you can control only you, not anyone else. It's up to you to decide if you allow others to steer your ship.

@personincognito3989 2 года назад

@@andrewknapp5691 oh no, I get it

@biljanas7931 2 года назад

@@personincognito3989... there is difference between family dedication (or expectations) and having healthy self development. Self-scarifying parents, and all that for the good and benefit of kid(s) is on one end of spectrum, and seen a lot with older generations. If person in their retirement doesn't know what they might enjoy in their spare time, after the kids are all grown-up, that tells a lot!!

@mrleicester 2 года назад

Needed this today. I have been thinking about how to talk to my family about laying down some ground rules, and it's been weighing heavily on me the last few days. Thank you.

@juliakristinamah 2 года назад

Good luck Josh - and keep us posted on how it goes.

@NFSMAN50 2 года назад

I feel you 100% Your family will say the whole "Who the heck you think you are, you acting all grown and think that you a man now, and tell you, that your being disrespectful and say what all they have done for you" as a gaslighting manipulation tactic to keep you under their roof and all. I wish you best of luck with this.

@ronbacchus4913 2 года назад

Good Luck Josh. Family relationships can be tough when when it comes to establishing healthy boundaries...but sometimes it is those relationships that need clear boundaries the most.

@DrRebeccaHeiss 2 года назад

Setting boundaries is so important to living our lives fully and authentically. It is so easy to constantly negotiate our boundaries and have them tested whether or not we realize it. Thank you for sharing!

@athab8256 2 года назад

That's the best 28 minutes and a bit that I've spent in a long time. Thanks!

@normathompson8011 7 месяцев назад

My minister has an evening candlelit meditation service once a month. I am highly sensitive to perfumes candles. I really want to be part of it because I love listening to the live organ music during the meditation. As the church is filled with burning candles for atmosphere, I offered to supply battery operated candles so I could participate . No more than 5 people come and I know they wouldn’t mind. As the minister sets the tone, she will not accommodate me and even insinuates that I am faking my sensitivities. Therefore, I am happy to meditate to my own music and battery operated candles in the comfort of my own home. “I get to make my own rules on my road to happiness!”

@deborahross9804 2 месяца назад

It sounds as if you Minister likes to be in control. Take a trusted friend with you and ask if you have misread the situation. The Minister may have something to learn too.

@blacklightiteh5052 10 месяцев назад

The example with the mouse pushing for reward is fantastic. I think I should start to see some people exactly like that, because they are like that.

@Fidel49 Год назад

Hey Julia, I greatly appreciate your video on this. My Therapist often talks about needing to set boundaries in my life as I am very much a people pleaser. However, I’m not much of a self starter , and have found it difficult to know where to even begin, much less know what I think a boundary is. Your video was precise, compassionate, and very clear. So, I’m now on to the first step of knowing what my boundaries are , so that I can set them in a clear way. I have subscribed, so I will be seeing ya. Thank you.

@normantoliver4823 Год назад

I wish I would have known about this sooner. I do believe I would have lived a different life. But we are here now.

@cathyhuffman7611 Год назад

I heard about boundaries, and I am 65 yr old. I have never had then. I have adhd and that in itself is short of boundaries. I need these because I have hurt feelings so much... ty I will listen til I understand boundaries.

@pamelacissell7784 2 года назад

I never heard of boundaries before. This is very important for me! Thanks!!

@shelleysims5523 2 года назад

With the Shifts that are happening right now, boundaries are important for me. Thank you Julia

@nancymorgan3006 2 года назад

Julia this is the best explanation of boundaries and the consequences of what happens if you don't set healthy boundaries and sicking to them, I've always had problems with that, this is so helpful your video is perfectly in time with just what I needed to hear, thanks so much Julia.👍

@charlesbassos4314 8 месяцев назад

This conversation is simple to understand but is also simplistic. People can use the boundaries concept as a passive aggressive weapon to prevent resolution of difficult relationship issues. Boundaries are easy to set when you care so little for the other that you can simply walk away. But, in a real relationship, many boundaries are not set but are negotiated.

@FaithFashionFinances Год назад

I have to reassess boundaries entirely. I set the boundaries but if people don’t respect me I cut them off, I have no time for people that can’t offer basic respect

@KeishaKiger 4 месяца назад

Wow! Thai is Really good ! I’m gonna show it to my 14 ur old daughter to help her navigate life . I’m realizing from watching this I was not allowed to have boundaries as a child and I wanna learn it now !

@The_Original_Juggalodis Год назад

Hi, I'm Jalen. And I'm a recovering non boundary setter. Not having boundaries has caused much strife in my life. I'm currently struggling in this area including setting boundaries with myself. I hadn't even considered them until about ten years ago when I finally heard it when someone spoke the idea to me. There had been times people had mentioned them before but I completely ignored this concept. Now I'm 48 and done letting this problem run my life. Thank you for this video, I'm sure it will help me tremendously.

@galalon2417 2 года назад

Thank you again, julia kristina. Boundaries give me a sense of self, self respect, freedom of choice, peace of mind and dignity. I am grateful for all the things the english language has given me. This is a concept that does not exist in my native language/culture. I didnt watch this channel for the last month. It is strange. Julia kristina's face looks different, especially the nose.i practice sensory augmentation. It is strange. Something is wrong with my face recognition queue.

@juliegarcia1057 Год назад

Thank you so much for your work! I’m learning more from your videos than I ever have thru any other source I’ve tried. I’m 54 years old and have been a people pleaser all of my life. I’ve allowed my actions to nearly break me down but I’m determined to make the changes I need to in order to have a more balanced life! Better late than never!!!!

@Faeriethorn Год назад

Permission to believe it is okay to deserve boundaries! That stopped me in my tracks. Never entered my mind! Wow! Much work to work on this deep belief.

@dianep6335 2 года назад

Extremely helpful video. I've been "caving in" on a summer volunteer job, giving the supervisor more days a week than I'd like, thinking I'm "being flexible" and unselfish. But it isn't being flexible after all, it is being inconsistent and I'm starting to feel like a chump. Don't go anywhere Kristina--we need your videos! :)

@zombiewithhat Год назад

Last part of this video was ESPECIALLY useful. That's my weakness: I'll set the boundary, but then crumble when people continue regardless. And when they continue regardless it makes me so sad and scared, because it feels like I have no control over my own situation and whether or not I'll keep being hurt the same way. But that last bit has inspired me to fight for myself more and stay strong. Reassuring to know this is a common problem too!! Thanks Julia!

@kaymerakidesign Год назад

Thank you for this! I realized I had people in my past who didn’t like when I set boundaries

@jamesmurphy3219 2 года назад

Thanks for this. Setting boundaries is something I've really struggled with throughout my life and that has shaped my identity. This helps to put things in perspective.

@rosaestrada41 6 месяцев назад

Julia your video has been a blessing to me. Thank you. Most of what you mention I ‘m leaving it. I’m taking notes because I never done boundaries with my daughters. I have 2 married daughters who live with me with their families. I didn’t set up boundaries and now they refuse to leave and find a place of their own. They been with me over 7 years. I been telling them to leave but they just ignore me. I don’t know what to do. I’m raising rent considerably this coming year. I don’t charge them the rate they charge in Southern Ca. but I will. One of my son- in- laws told me. “ you can raise all the rent you want. It doesn’t mean I will pay it. 🙏🙏🙏

@sharonsaulnier7484 2 года назад

Hello from Canada. I am a medium and public figure for other things in media...Empaths have to learn how to set BOUNDRIES alot! Learning how to do this everyday, Was guided to your show. I give angel messages to folks for 7 years now...I am stepping out of my oomfort zone right now in a big way so THANK YOU for the reminder today....Namaste

@christinagrundmann3359 2 месяца назад

❤Thank you so much for the ACTUAL real life scenario examples of "what and how" to say... that we can paraphrase.❤ I found that so much easier to learn from 😊, than the standard lists of "things one could think of saying"... 😵‍💫

@sharonp4106 2 года назад

Loved the *backyard* analogy! So helpful!👍

@veronicalee9225 Год назад

The intermittent reinforcement part is like WOW. I am gonna keep that in mind. It's going to be hard but it's never too late I think.

@clrought 5 месяцев назад

I find it's important to have people to practice Healthy boundaries. I really miss up trying to use them without someone to practice with first. It ended up causing a lot of damage.

@Lesliefox2000 2 года назад

You are so right! It goes both ways. Others have their boundaries, which is their right. As one (or I) have mine.

@pennyfountain2376 Год назад

WOW! This is GOLD for me. So glad the Lord lead me to you! Thank you ❤️

@mulukensand5370 Год назад

Thank you! I learned I been setting boundary but it’s not very strong but overtime I will have. I just need stick with my boundary when friends push back.✝️God bless you beautiful lady❤️🥰😍

@olgasaenzc 2 года назад

Thank you for this. I have been taking decisions in favor of other people's wishes just because I'd rather be resented than feeling guilty. Tonight I was about to say yes to an unhealthy situation just because of that. Putting on this video tonight may have saved me from a lot of pain. Thank you so much.

@sgraceh85 3 месяца назад

I'm not setting boundaries because someone is doing something I don't like. I'm sitting boundaries because what they are doing is hurtful and unacceptable. The conversation goes like "the things you're doing/saying/triggering without regard for my feelings, are unacceptable to me. Those things have to change immediately or we can't be in each other's life." There's no OR ELSE, there's one chance for changed behavior after the conversation and I push away completely.

@italianteachingtagalog505 9 месяцев назад

This is a cutting-edge channel. I am glad that I have stumbled upon it. My wife comes from a culture where people (and particularly in-laws) do cross boundaries pretty often and resent being told that they shouldn't and, often, Western husbands end up becoming doormats because they fear losing their relationship. It's hard to strike a balance between showing acceptance, acknowledgment and appreciation and being strict about setting and keeping strong and firm boundaries in this kind of relationship, and all the more so, because most of the time those people cross boundaries out of ignorance and because of how the environment they grew up in shaped them. So, for me, showing understanding, trying to see reality from their point of view, and being strict about setting firm boundaries is a rather tall order to fill and a delicate balance to strike. Greetings from Italy

@Bnockis 2 года назад

Just joined the shift society! Every vid I've watched so far has resonated in some way very deeply with me, and I look forward to more!

@crystalmeadows1920 10 месяцев назад

Hello, I'm Crystal and I am learning a lot about childhood trauma, bpd and issues with setting bound.

@ngo7156 2 года назад

I loved this video! I found it to be very easy to follow and appreciated the examples. I have trouble making boundaries. I have had family members who were so domineering and making inappropriate comments that hurt my feelings. One of there excuses was, " Oh, didn't mean anything by it". I don't care, it still hurt my feelings. After they still continued to be controlling,judgemental, and making snide comments I decided that I don't have to continue putting myself in that position anymore. I decided to not see them anymore and I don't regret it. After over twenty years of all kinds of abuse by another family member I decided I don't have to take any abuse or be the butt of anyone's jokes. I am an RN and feel this video can help me set boundaries with my patients as well. Thanks so much for this video! ❤ ; )

@angelaksmith4317 2 года назад

I told a guy that a comment he made to me was rude. He responded saying that I "scolded" him, that I need to "lighten up" and that "a person can't joke with me". The comment was a sarcastic, backhanded slam on me (an insult disguised as a joke). I was guilt tripped for having my opinion of "that's rude". I am completely okay never talking to him again.

@SarkaTvrdik 23 дня назад

Thank you for your video on boundaries.

@valeriebrown5111 2 года назад

You are on fire today! This is exactly what I needed to hear today. It confirmed I am on the right trace. I’m so grateful I found you.

@lorilee7213 2 года назад

Ditto shes great

@serendipity0775 8 месяцев назад

The consistency with boundaries. That hit home hard.

@raiderlove5923 2 года назад

Julia, it's like you know me. I have trouble setting boundaries as an adult because I was never taught how to set healthy boundaries. I was basically raised with the mindset of "do as I say, not as I do." So, I was basically set up for failure from the start.

@ronbacchus4913 2 года назад

I hear you Raider Love. Overcoming those traditional messages and reprogramming more healthy ones cane be very challenging. Good luck to you.

@OliviaPygmys Месяц назад

I just finished listening to your video and i got to say thank you so much! I just got the courage to say out loud to an office friend that i have a routine and i like to eat lunch alone. If it wasnt for your video i would have sucked it up and let her take my break time. I feel so much better now that i dont have to feel uncomfortable just because i want to please someone else. I have the right to have my time and my space alone. I cant wait to talk to my M.I.L. about setting a boundary of not coming over without texting or calling first. Fingers cross that it goes well!

@OliviaPygmys Месяц назад

Update: I have talked to my mother in law and it went great. I had to really think of the correct words to use so I wouldn't get anger in return and she just agreed to my boundaries and that was the end of it. Now hopefully it won't be happening again but if it does im just going to have to remind her that I have this line drawn and she should respect it. Thanks for all your information on setting boundaries it's really helped me grow as an individual

@sarahgarrett3074 2 года назад

Definitely needed this today. Thank you ☺️💜

@juliakristinamah 2 года назад

You're welcome Sarah - really glad it helped.

@moniquestokes3445 11 месяцев назад

Hey Im Monique dx with BPD a while ago... found you today after my therapist gave me a boundaries assignment and I just felt so confused about how to do this. Thank you for this video❤

@nurulnajwasafie2508 2 года назад

definitely what i needed right now! Thanks so much Julia 👍

@jennjenkins4823 28 дней назад

One thing I noticed about this was that you may want to refrain from using the term "drinking the Kool-Aid." When speaking of mental health, this is probably not the most effective phrase. This is said with love, please don't think I'm being snarky, I'm truly not, but I was a bit shocked when you said that. It has a very negative connotation in reference to a very positive and vital topic. Keep informing the masses! Most Sincerely, JJ.

@ronbacchus4913 2 года назад

Great information Julia. Love your message and the way you present it. Cheers!

@juliakristinamah 2 года назад

Thanks Ron. Really glad you're here and hope you're having a great day.

@ronbacchus4913 2 года назад

@@juliakristinamah Looking forward to hearing more of your great content Julia. Cheers!

@leeclarke8993 2 года назад

Thank you Julia I’m getting it. Love listening.

@kseniakovalova3435 Месяц назад

Amazing. I wish I’ve learned that earlier and I wish I could follow those tips and be more assertive. Last time I clearly stated that I don’t want to talk politics to a friend who constantly picks up provocative topics to argue they said : no, it’s important to talk about those things! People need to talk about those things! And I responded: you won’t change my mind but the relationship will stuffer. She replied, «but I’m not trying to change your mind. But here is where you’re wrong…» lol.

@Dezzyyx 2 года назад

Great indepth video on boundaries, just at the right time. Thanks :)

@ericliu8720 2 года назад

Thank you so much for this. You keep telling me so much I think I knew but didn’t know

@briancordell8623 Год назад

Thank you for your talks! They have helped me to learn about codependency and boundaries.

@susansault356 6 месяцев назад

Thankyou SO much!! Very helpful. ❤

@warriorqueen7193 2 года назад

Hello. I love your videos! They are very educating and have helped me understand many things that I've always wanted to know. Thank You for sharing!

@liljemark1 2 года назад

I love all your earlier content on boundaries! Such an important topic. Thanks for this 101!

@juliakristinamah 2 года назад

You're so welcome. Really glad it connected

@Fabulousfifties67 Месяц назад

Excellent video. Thank you so much.

@sueharrison3382 2 года назад

Thank you so much Julia for this excellent video, it made the whole boundary topic crystal clear for me, and just at a time when I'm struggling with this very issue. Now I feel ready to set my boundaries with confidence.

@mikeculver5014 26 дней назад

Thank you Julia!

@ranorano7197 2 года назад

Omg this video came at the right time. I have been told that I need to be more firm with setting boundaries with others especially those close to me but for some reason I felt that it is hard especially when it comes across as disrespect to other but I’m starting to listen to how I think and feel and value and putting myself first. I will download your list. Thanks for sharing this ❤️

@andreadybvik 3 месяца назад

This was so helpful! Thank you! 🧡

@ErinLAnderson 2 года назад

Your content is incredibly helpful! I have done counseling before and listening to you daily right now is valuable! THANK yOU!

@ShibaLara 4 месяца назад

So great, thank you, this is what I needed to hear!

@dalenjurgens6751 4 месяца назад

I'm happy to be listening to your videos again, Julia! This has been so helpful!

@Ruby-if4jf Год назад

💥you cleared this up for me! I'm in! The weak handshake explanation is gold. Thank you.

@sureillbethere Год назад

Downloaded the 25 Ways. Thank you!

@rosebond4966 Год назад

thank you for the refresher. I needed it

@shellbell2117 2 года назад

I definitely need work on Boundaries Thanks Julia Christina

@danecustance2734 2 года назад

Thanks, so much great advice in this video.

@twosongs7396 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for this video, Julia. Liked and subscribed.

@myriamlaflamme278 Год назад

Wow, it's the first time I hear about worthiness around boundaries, big shift for me thank you! Working towards setting and honoring... and keeping my boundaries! Because most of the time I realize I bend in order to please the other... And most of the time the other has no idea what is going on for me!! Going back to boundarerie gym :)

@patriciasantiago8357 2 года назад

Thank you 💖 I really appreciate all the help I get from your wisdom. Greetings from Mexico Julia 🌷

@QuantumDynamic8 2 года назад

This is sooo helpful. Thank Youu ❤️

@mariaward7706 2 года назад

Extremely helpful - thank you! Having recently realised i need to set healthy boundaries, why and how i have not been setting well in the past - i have still found myself asking the question HOW do i set healthy boundaries. This video went a long way to answering that question for me. Particularly the distinction between request and the boundary.