Break Your Isolation And Escape Your Loneliness 

Anna - dear! The way this video was put together, is so ... soooo helpful. Do you realize how much healing, comes from your precise, comprehensive observations? & not any less important - from your honest, sincerely caring, humble approach? Those are the gifts you & your team gave me in this video: Validation Normalization Love Clarity Encouragement Hope RELIEF What you`ve said about isolation feels freeing and great, then realizing we've become weird hermits.. and the nagging anxious feeling of 'wasting my life' + the realization that a lot of it has to do with being fundamentally a shame of my self --- wow girl! Spot on the money. Until like a month ago - I didn't even know I suffer from CPTSD (And I'm about to hit 50….) I MAKE SENCE TO MY SELF NOW. Can't thank you enough - God bless you. You people are life savers. literally.

It’s unbelievable how alone you can feel in this world while so many people experience something so similar

I don’t even feel lonely anymore…..I’m so afraid of people that being alone now is what I want. I don’t think it’s healthy necessarily but it feels safe right now.

I would like to add - That I feel one of the biggest challenges of escaping this loneliness is healing a lot of attachment wounds. Forcing connections with people doesn't really work - People detect desperation and it turns people off from wanting to spend time with you. Also, always finding excuses to not spend time with people is also an issue. Letting relationships form organically, and practicing reciprocal connections while putting yourself out there a few times a week is the best you can really do.

" Your immune system needs to be around people." If for nothing else, I salute you for this single statement. Vow!

I've made peace with my loneliness and isolation. It is what it is. I'm too tired.

I’ve been so isolated that once I meet someone, I want to hold on to them but I feel I’m just so awkward in conversation and everything in between. I have such an attachment to my husband (comfort zone) but I want to detach so I can try life with some normalcy. I don’t feel much joy. All I feel is empty and heartbroken all the time. I’ve tried it all and I keep ending up right back where I started. This cycle is frustrating.

CPTSD are often VERY aware of non verbals. Eye rolling, sighing, passive aggressive cues. So they have a problem with people who don't use words. People who don't use words but instead shrug their shoulders or whatever are poison to them.

I can only connect on a superficial level and then not for long....trust is a huge issue for me...I am happiest alone, the older I get the more comfortable I am by myself....

I used to be very extrovert and outgoing but I spent last years so isolated that I believe I have lost my social skills. I the other hand; I feel lazy, besides; is not easy meeting new people.

I shrank from life, from connection, in an attempt to avoid the fear of facing a world that seemingly rejected me. Not even my best moments of being accepted could last, as I was not allowing it. Mindset distortions proved most powerful until I fully faced, uncovered, and understood my early trauma and its consequences. That is when healing first had a chance. 'Alone in a crowd' was me; terrified of parties, of social nuances I had never mastered. Yet I 'covered' well - enough to avoid detection...until the inevitable nervous breakdown. My healing has come a very long way. Yet the lagging indicator of my success is the fact of lingering loneliness. Now I know that no one is coming to rescue me. I must end my isolation and loneliness.

I had to get rid of everyone from my life coz they were all toxic and abusive. Now my isolation is getting worse.

haha i did all of these and it just stung my ass loll. i go through cycles of becoming a positive energy in everyones lives, listening and supporting them, loving their traits and promoting them, i build connections and bonds and then i realize its just me who does that and i never receive anything back, get judged and then toss away and i become negative and lose faith in the good things again, isolating myself. and each time this happens the more i realize its stupid to keep going back to the happy side because its all superficial and fake, the final truth is that everything comes from selfishness and thats depressing

I'm in awe. You have no idea how much I needed this. This specific thing has been my greatest sadness my whole life. As a child and young adult, I found it almost impossible to connect with the people around me. I was painfully shy, afraid to put myself out there because it meant others recognizing how weird and socially underdeveloped I was. And they always did. I always felt so "other" and I never wanted it. I didn't understand why making and keeping friends was so easy for everyone else. A lone wolf, begrudgingly. Only now at 28 am I making the first steps towards healing this. I am so excited to finally connect like a normal person. I can't wait to finally have best friends or a friend group I can hang out with and talk to. I'm so excited to finally have the confidence to reach out towards others. I can't wait to be my authentic self and then let others accept me. I can't wait to open my arms up to the world. I have hope now.

I was thinking about this lately and trying to remember my childhood. I remember being happy as a kid but when I was sexually molested (not once but many times by different people) at 9 or 10yrs old, I started isolating myself and no longer want to go out and play with other kids. I also didn’t like people coming and going in our house whenever they wanted to. My mum didn’t care if they come and go. I thought I was just being a snob and now realizing at 40 that I was trying to protect my child self. Up to these days I never like people visiting me at my house all the time. I never once did house party it feels very intruding to me but with this I feel very isolated with everyone.

Here, with you Anna, is the place where I feel the most normal and validated. Leaving my house is a huge challenge. I keep my errands to grocery shopping, which I only do once a month or longer if possible and often only after starving myself for several days, every day hoping that tomorrow I'll have more courage to leave my house and it won't be such a severely daunting task. Interacting with people causes me to wish I was dead ... it "is too costly". Once upon a time I was an ambivert, now my happy peaceful safe place is home alone. Covid lockdown had zero noticeable impact on me and I marvelled watching the world lose their minds. I have started to notice how my isolation has negatively increased my social awkwardness, tactlessness, weirdness and shame. I hate it but it's no where near as costly as with 'people interactions'. I know that my happy place is Not a healthy place. I'm stuck.

I’ve just “woken up” from a 3-day episode of disregulation and its always sad to see how much I hampered my life in the way. Isolation and self derogatory mantras are always a big part of it. I wish I could be part of any group of people to at least have some activity to ease my mind in these periods, but unfortunately I can never manage to be part of a group. It always feels as if I’m acting and after a while it becomes a burdensome activity that I prefer to avoid. I’ve been trying to change this and I feel I’ve had some progress so far, but it’s really a difficult path :(

Have you ever had the experience of being in school, and dreading that the teacher calls on you, and the feeling when they do? I still, to this day, have that feeling when I talk to anyone in general. The intensity varies, depending on how comfortable I feel around the person, or multiplies with more people. It doesn't help that the thoughts in my head doesn't translate into speech. It's often a more scaled back, over simplified version of what I intend to convey. Which often makes me cringe to hear coming out of my mouth, and then escalates my anxiety. Which then exacerbates the problem, in a self perpetual cycle. Including the numbness, and figgy mind. Hence, I get pretty lonely. It's only been a few years since I discovered I can type my thoughts way more easily than speaking them.

Dude. This is so weird, this is exactly what I need right now. Literally just let a girl go that I got too attached to and this video drops at the exact same time. Thank you!

I've had so many women in my life call me "amazing" among other nice things but yet I still have an underlying (secret) fear of someone regretting having chosen me. Which leads to me subconsciously doing things that push them away.😥 My earliest memories are when I was with my grandmother, wondering where mom was or if she was coming back.

Thank you. Experiencing a loving relationship is the one thing I'd like in life but it does feel unachievable x

Thank you Anna. I'm at the stage of strong one day, and hiding in the woods the next day. I guess it's a start. I'm trying.

I have a part time job which is my only connection with sociability and I have to really be careful not to harm it by talking too much or trying too hard. The other women all have lives and I think they understand that my job is my only connection with the world, though they have no idea of the extent. Every so often it hits me like a brick wall that I don't have the friend and family group that I would love to have. I often think I ought to have a hostel somewhere in order to just have company and feel useful

Funny I’ve just spent the last 2 years learning to be content and ok with being alone and isolating myself. I really enjoy my own company now. In fact I can’t stand being around most people now.

You are like a beacon of light in somebody's or anybody' s dark times.

i was just crying my eyes out at how lonely i am. 😔 ly❤️

Sometimes..we Need to be Alone to reconnect with ourself..who we are! Us people pleasers can get very lost!

wow, Anna, I feel validated after hearing you say you can't talk before you've done the daily practice. I asked my husband years ago to try to not talk to me for about an hour after I wake up because I'm cranky. Later I learned it was dysregulation. I'll give this a go, because I'd like to see real change. Thank you

I joined a crochet group. But quit going because of the group leader. After realizing that she is who she is and setting personal boundaries. I went back. A little uncomfortable, but realizing that I have no control over an others behavior, helped a lot.

I feel lonely in my marriage, I have a wonderful man but I always think he is annoyed by me so I hold back to not annoy him further. He says he’s not annoyed but it’s so hard for me to believe him. I mis read everyone and I always feel my coworkers hate me as well.. because of these thoughts I have, I choose to not get close to anyone and as a result of this it leaves me feeling alone and left out. It’s a vicious circle that I don’t know how to correct

Being alone is so hard ❤ really needed this

You have an amazing gift ! Your presentations have allowed me to heal wounds that I have been putting bandaids on and each video is equal to a year of counseling. So insightful an informative. You are literally saving my life right now. Truly a Godsend !!!

I have learned so much about myself from your posts. My hubby is a war vet with ptsd and I am on the regular basis disregulated because of childhood trauma. Your webinars help so much, I still need work especially with loneliness

I just got out of my 3rd EMDR session and listening to this makes me cry (in a good way). It sounds very eloquent.

Like with many of your videos, I have to listen over and over. It’s been so hard lately. Maybe it’s just the time of year, I don’t know. Today was especially hard. I seriously wanted to just hibernate. I’m trying hard not to escape. I want a real relationship

After decades I'm finally making friends and even have a lover. However, it's too little too late. The chronic emotional loneliness has left me unable to really connect to humans and at my age its just never going to be enough to undo a lifetime of pain. Removing the isolation isn't enough. I've a void inside of me where 40+ years of love and affection and validation should have been, and you can't cram that amount of love into a few months or years.

I have been isolating for the last seventeen years. Your videos are helping me to understand myself better. Thank you. I am in therapy now and back to a recovery program. Stepping out of my shell slowly. The line I always used was “me, myself and I get along just fine”. The sad reality is I believed it.

I was also a feral child and I do everything for myself. Now that my kids are grown and I have been divorced for years, I cannot imagine living with anyone else, ever. I'm still feral. I do have lots of friends, though, and I am getting more accepting of their foibles. Maybe that's enough.

Your the first person who makes sense of my situation! I'm 60 and alone. I have 4 grandchildren and I adore them. I have a people service job so it's a great help.

Went to a Xmas party didn’t connect with anyone everyone thought I had a great time but all I got was a headache and felt sick for a week is it worth it I’m 54 isolating feels so right and trying to connect never seems to feel right I don’t feel like others understand me.I cried when Covid lockdown ended I loved it …no pressure it was awesome for me

Hi Anna, I watched this before, but now it really makes sense to me. I think this helps when ppl reach a stage when they realise being lonely for far too long, to avoid triggers, actually ends up hurting us more - without connection its too much mental suffering from being lonely for a very long time. So no matter how difficult, if you feel you've had enough of self-isolating, try to re-engage, even at the the most basic level is more than enough (eg: sports/activities/charity work groups)

It is difficult to make friends when I am feeling socially awkward and at work is not necessarily a loving atmosphere. But yes your videos explain why this is happening and I will keep believing and trying out this tool to reregulate myself.

"Walk the Path of Love"💕👏😘 The beauty way....excellent video Anna. I love you sister. Keep up the great work. You're a holy, holy, holy gift to hurting humanity.

I am 70, and been isolating for 10 years since my husband passed away. Turned to substance abuse to cope. Also have not gotten back to church. Been in rehab a couple times over my lifetime. I am the oldest of 6, and was put in a Mother role at age eight. Was born with Spinal Bifida Occult, that put me in the hospital as a baby for a couple surgeries. My dad was in the Air Force the first 5 months of my life. Was sick a lot as a kid/teen. Never made friends in grade, and high school. My Dad was alcoholic, and Mom had prescription addiction. Fighting, and lots of emotional stress in the household. I have many gastrointestinal issues (overgrowth of yeast, bacteria, and fungal infections) that cause brain issues like depression, anxiety, brain fog, and suicidal ideation. I feel if I don’t deal with the gastrointestinal issues I won’t be able to get help with Trama. I can absolutely relate to what Anna, and others are sharing. It is hard to move forward. Sometimes I feel it’s too late for me to change. I am hoping for some connections that bring me out of this empty pit I am in. Bless you all.❤

Sometimes I am able to pause now when I'm triggered . I had a lot of verbal abuse (along with the other forms of abuse ) and when I get really triggered the voice of my abuser comes out of my mouth and I'm an ass and mean . I have such shame about this and I isolate because I'm disgusted with myself and feel I don't trust myself. I'm going to watch the video again so it will really sink in .

Within the first minute of listening to this video, I spontaneously want to say, " I love you," this is how grateful I feel to you!! 😭😭😭

This episode is one of the best I’ve seen on this subject. I had some childhood trauma, but most of the trauma I’ve had was in adulthood that probably resulted to some degree from the childhood trauma. I isolate and have for a few years because I get very emotional when I experience certain triggers from others. I don’t want to experience the pain of that or act in a way that is hurtful to anyone else because of the broken ways I feel and behave with others. Thanks for this video.

I feel like you really understand what I’m going through. And you’re able to give a lot more meaningful advice bc you’ve been through it yourself.

Oh my word thank you- being ferrel as a child- so relatable and what a good way to describe the experience

Felt so much of this. I've found my "comfort" on the outside of everything. I don't feel cut out for life and I just simply don't like other people. It is what it is. Maybe someday I'll come out of my isolation.

You are an Angel. Thank you a thousand times for the tremendous help you provide.

I never know if I'm right or not when I cut people off. Are they toxic or am I overreacting? neverending question

Thank you so much for sharing this life saving information. I have suffered with this my whole life. Nothing I've done has helped, and I've done so much personal growth work. Bless you!

Become a good listener! Yes! I knew I needed this skill and so years ago did a workshop on Co-Counseling. It really taught me what listening is. Vitally important!

Oh my. Only recently I began to watch your videos. Yes, you've been describing me, & YES you made it very clear that there is help, & you make it free! That is beautiful, to truly want to help others with similar issues, giving us no excuse to avoid beginning to help ourselves! Talking, talking, & talking more about problems never worked for me, either. It makes me feel like living the stress all over again & I begin to feel the anxiety again. As Einstein said, "You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it!" Thank you for bringing this perspective. It's a blessing. 💖

just watching Anna speak is already regulating for me! thank you! 🙏🏼

I’m really grateful for your work.

I thank you crappy childhood fairy for everything. You are a beacon for so many other people in this world. I know that suffering or trauma is never worth it, but yours truly maybe has been made such a great gift for many people who struggle to know or heal themselves and their lives. They are truly held back. Their time now will not be wasted.

Forgiveness is absolutely necessary to enable us to heal and move out of fear and isolation. Most of us carry a lifetime of hurt and pain, causing resentment and bitterness towards those who have hurt us. And we also should look deeply within to see how we often need to forgive ourselves, sometimes even more so than anyone else. Choosing to forgive helps to clear out the old garbage in our psyche, which changes our hearts and minds to be more open to others. This was VERY hard for me to do! Praying for the grace of God for help with this is often necessary to "forgive from the heart". And the practice of the Ho'oponono prayer -- "I'm sorry...Please forgive me...Thank you...I love you" -- is helpful, too, even if only spoken in your mind.

Thank you so much for this message 🙏🏻🎯💪🏻 full of hope . Many Blessings back with kind regards from Denmark 🇩🇰

I feel soo blessed to have discovered your site. I learn so much from you. Your videos have been soo helpful.

Anna. You kinda just blow me away with your empathetic, gentle loving truths that hit right in the heart- while calling me out on my BS- like nobody in my life is capable of. I was one of those feral children- the only adult in my family- at age 8 until 18- the day I turned 18 and walked out of that hell hole. I started my journey through healing basically at age 12 when I started voraciously consuming self help. During this time I was the family therapist, mother, adult and voice of reason. At age 27 I got sober in AA and began the 12 step life- and it helped a great deal and I connected to people in a meaningful way finally- still have some of those connections 36 years later. I first started therapy at age 19 and had off and on returned to it- sometimes it was helpful- it saved my life actually- and then AA. In my 40's I went to college and in my 50's got my master's in counseling. In all of my years of healing and travels through sponsors, therapists and self -help books- you are the first person that gets me. You are the first person that is smarter than I am about this stuff and you have nailed it on the head with this video. I have so many boundaries and so many work arounds to being triggered, I am isolated and lonely and beginning to get weird! To my horror it is morphing into hoarding - in a mild way but it's progressing and my adult daughter is worried about both the hoarding and the isolation. I tell her it's not her job to meet my socialization needs, it's my job. I am in EMDR therapy now and my therapist that is younger than I am is able to reach me in a way that is more meaningful because we don't discuss my traumas in extreme detail- she helps me resolve it. I have been able to let someone see me- and let someone have insights into me that I didn't already know! But you get me! And I hear you. I will work on softening those boundaries some in order to connect in a deeper way and ease the loneliness and budding hoarding. I am going to begin the daily practice and continue my trauma therapy- and having good boundaries against abusive people but connecting to the multitudes of good and safe people in the world. I recommend your channel to clients everyday and your work informs my work. You have enormous influence on my work. You and Emma of Therapy in a Nutshell- which is how I found you. Thank you and I just had to tell you. Thank you again.

Listening to this information puts me in such a state of sadness and self loathing 😢 but it has as also made me more aware of how horrific and painful my childhood was. I turned 70 a few months ago and I still have alot of healing to do. I sincerely thank you for sharing these much needed tools and information.

You are so comforting and enlightening I'm no quitter but I was feeling at ends from isolation like a failure but you saved me.

I love your channel, you have no idea but you literally saved my life from so much pain. I love learning more about myself from you. I listen to your videos everyday.

Stumbled onto this video to day and really it floored me emotionally. It is something I don't discuss or talk about really----hard to hear it because I spent most of my time avoiding it.

Love this video! You are right! I was out at a gathering and other people spoke to me and I was in a great mood and responded lovingly no matter what anyone said and it felt like good normal interaction and a connection to my home state too! I took a shot just going to socialize and it was nice! If I do this once a week surely I can break down my wall and feel more comfortable around others now that I understand my entire life as I never had before! The learning has been powerful in my content with it all now getting the facts of it all! You are awesome Anna at opening our eyes!

Love this collection of videos, and love your side-parted bangs! Beautiful, both messages and face with side-bangs :)

I loved this compilation, and I really needed it at this time.

Your videos are a balm for my soul thank you for your encouragement ! You speak to my stony heart.

It IS huge. God Bless you and thank you for your loving guidance. 🌹

I'm so glad that I found you Ms Fairy, my whole life finally makes sense to me now and I'm so grateful that there is still time for me to heal and flourish in life ❤🙏

Anna & Team, you are all doing fantastic work. Thank you!! Great video & great content....

Hey Anna!! How are you, I feel so calm whenever I hear you..words are getting shorter to thank you.. U r so encouraging..that my eyes gleaming with hope of healing. Thx once again.. From New Delhi -India

Love u Anna !!!!!! god bless u!! U are the difference!!!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️

I can’t think of the words to describe how I feel..and then you came along. Thank you so much! I’m becoming weird…I don’t like the town I live in. It’s a small town that looks at me as an outsider and probably always will. I’m so embarrassed about how hard I tried to fit in. I feel like I mess things up. Things will be going great and then I’ll do something, unintentionally of course, and I’ll realize certain people have dropped out of wanting to include me or do things with me. I did all those things mentioned..I hid my family situation or I told someone about my situation (TMI) either way, I ran normal people off. 😢

Thankyou very much for this video and merry Xmas to you also x

Thank you seems so simplistic compared to what you have done for me. I have learned so much about myself. Today I used your strategy to be brave. Really brave. To most people what I did would seem trivial. To me it was like riding the back of a great white shark. I would not be so brave if not for you.

Triggers can be opportunities for growth, when we are able to. ✌️❤️

I just split with my younger bf totally dis ~regulated. Feel desperately lonely, no friends or family that cares. I see everyone around me happy. And i am totally depressed sad lonely & isolated living in accommodation with others i barely have a nights sleep work my ass off as a self employed cleaner which is more isolating working alone. I need someone to love me. I have alot of pain physically & emotionally. Just feel i am gunna be alone forever! People totally dislike me as i am different....im struggling! Love your vids they help alot

You are the first person who describes and provides solutions for what I am experiencing in my life.

❤thank u for being the most honest woman❤ thank u for helping urself ! U have taught me the tools no one else could ANNa ur awesome ❤

I tell people what you do quite often & they are very interested! haha, but it is true. It's interesting to me that you are not drawing people who aren't wounded, I think that is an amazing indicator of your own level healing....it's a goal for me to have relationships that aren't mostly based on helping each other survive this world as people with cptsd. Around the 36 minute mark, I feel like you are watching me, right now, trying to get out of going to a party tonight because I'm "too fat" or I "don't feel well". The struggle is so real. Thank you for your help Anna. You obviously have an awesome team working with you & I appreciate all of you.

Thanks for putting so much energy into helping all of us.

This is very very good I needed this so much. 😇 🙏 👍 👌 Everyone has fears, I guess.

Finally someone is telling my story! And you have helped me see I'm not alone. Thank you!

I wish I could give a thousand likes, this is pure gold!

My jouirney is a testimony to the ability to heal, but also just how much work and time it takes. My abusor was my mother, a communal narc. I have done nearly 2 decades of therapy, everything from CBT and DBT to talk and EMDR (which is what I'm currently doing). I have healed to the point that I can now find connections. I fought for the first 25 years of my life to find somewhere I fit in, to be seen and accepted. I have finally found a communithy where I fit and am accepted and loved. My chosen family is there without judgement or drama and I am there for them in the same way. The connection I have to them has exponentially sped up my healing over the last 1.5 years, but it took nearly 20 years to get to this point. Give yourself the time to heal but never give up! Not believing you can heal may be the main reason a person is not healing. Once I believed in my heart that I could heal and told my therapist that my goal was to 100% heal from PTSD and no longer have the symptoms of PTSD, that opened new doors of healing. THank you so much for the message you put out to the wwrold, CCF, and the people y ou help with your message. There was a video about believing in healing that put me on the path to believing just that and it changed so much for me!

I feel ok when I listen to your channel. I could not understand why I felt a part of me shut down in childhood. It is such a relief to know what caused it. I met a lady in the grocery line. She had a Christian t-shirt on and I commented on it. Her smile spread across her face. We had a fun conversation and waiting in line went by before I knew it. My goodness God has given you a gift. I am concerned to journal due to privacy concerns.

I am SO grateful to have found you. For the first time in my life, I have hope ! Thank you 🙏

Thank you for everything you do! Love you ❤️

I can relate to feeling left out and feeling like an outsider too ..

Anna, AKA Crappy Childhood Fairy : thank you for your great care and energy and devotion to your talks. Thank you for making my life better. I tune in to one or more of your presentations daily. Temi, SF bay area of CA USA

Now I understand You are a treasure, God bless you❤

Thank you for sharing. This is helpful and I am working on this now.

I'm so thankful to this channel. I've been constantly rejected from friend groups since childhood, and although my parents comforted me, I was always very serious and highly sensitive, and during the last 3 years, most people I talked with were my family. Now I'm at college away from my country, and loneliness strikes again. It is especially triggering as it is so similar to the school I was bullied in, and I'm still trying to break through my comfort zone, while the emotions are so overwhelming and painful. I wish there was a free online community for people with these struggles. Wish you all true healing and happiness!

Great information, too bad I found this so late in life. Nothing to do at this point. Just exist. And go thru the motions. Listening to your work has been cathartic, but nothing can make up all the damage we have been dealt with. Never realized others could detect the damage. 😢😢

When I meet sometimes either I attached too fast and I feel too much or I don't open up and I'm told that I'm being avoidant

Super great. Found you only a few weeks ago but you're talking directly to me. Can't wait to learn more. I'm 73 and you've given me some hope. BTW, would love to know what the print is behind you at 32 minutes.

God keep blessing you Anna. Thank you so much for the videos. You are a beautiful person inside and out. You are God sent!🙏🌹🌹🌹❤️