Dad tells his Daughter she can STARVE?! 

As someone with anxiety I can confidently say that the dad was 100% justified in not making the call for the daughter. You are definitely correct, low risk situations, especially with people who’ll you most likely never see you again, help a lot with overcoming issues in social settings. I’m aware that not all cases are the same but what the mom is doing is hurting the daughter. If the mom keeps letting other people do the things the daughter is too anxious to do, slowly over time she will start to get overly dependent on her parents. And quoting my counsellor, “that damage is a lot harder to undo”.

As someone with severe OCD I can say that the dad was 100% in the right. When I was sent to treatment I spent nearly all my time doing exposure therapy and facing my fears. It sucked, but it’s the only reason I’m alive and functional today.

I have anxiety and Dad was 100% right. You can't expect everyone else to drop everything to accommodate your mental illness. She had multiple work arounds for her problem. Thats how someone with anxiety manages life they find those work arounds.

With story 2: OP is the good apple. In my family, mum gets the first name, dad gets the last name, and the middle name has to be agreed on by both parents.

As someone with anxiety like her, you're absolutely right about story 4! I HATE making phone calls, and it's effected my life horribly in the past, including financially and even for my health (delaying calls). Not to mention my relationships with my family and friends. My therapist told me exactly what you mentioned, to help my anxiety by starting with phone calls. I worry her mom is enabling her and what reprecussions this could have on her future.

As a mental health professional and human with lives experience with anxiety - you are right on. To make the call for her is symptom accommodation, reinforcing that she can’t manage doing hard things while anxious and that she needs people to do things for her to survive. Good apple from me, too.

Story 4: Hi, school counselor here!👋 I feel that they may be enabling their daughter, and the dad was right because in the real world, yiu can't stop everything you're doing to help your daughter make a call. As an adult, you do need to learn to do it yourself. I had the same thing, I was (and still am) nervous and get anxious when I have to call to schedule something or order something. I desperately check every website to see if there is an online option. If there isn't any other avenue to order/make an appt, I reluctantly call... but I just have to get over it😅

Apple 3: The REAL perfect man would never ask you to get rid of your cats even if he was allergic. He’d take allergy medicine.

Have you ever considered doing community tab polls so we can all vote for each story?

My 18 year old is high anxiety with ADHD. He has started making Dr appointments, handling billing, and filling out paperwork. I understand how hard those little adulting steps can be, and I am proud that he's trying to take care of things himself!

#1 Crab Rules need to be established ahead of time and then enforced. Yes, common sense says he ought to, but not many folks have any, so more discussion is necessary.

As someone who struggles with anxiety and a teacher of children with anxiety I 100% agree with you, low risk activities like phone calls are productive ways to face anxiety without putting too much pressure, or scaring the kid.

For the first story. As a stay at home primary parent who's now working from home, I 1000000% agree. Don't expect someone to pick up what you're putting down no matter how obvious

Rebecca posting is how I keep track of what day of the week it is LOL

Have anxiety and agree with the good apple. If it’s not crippling anxiety a phone call can be not fun but is doable

AAPPLE PICKING DAY! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS WEEKLY TRADITION BECCA!!!!!!!!!

Story #4: I’m a special education teacher and currently getting my masters in mental health counseling so not a professional yet but I feel like I have enough experience to say that dad is right. The biggest problem I’ve seen in kids with disabilities is low confidence and LEARNED HELPLESSNESS. Mom is teaching her daughter that helplessness. That her anxiety controls her life and she has to rely on others to do things for her. That’s a very dangerous and unhelpful thing to teach your daughter. She is going to have to learn how to accommodate for her disability without completely relying on others.

Apple #2: All I have to say on this is, if my parents named me Stuarta, I would file a lawsuit against them. I didn't ask to be born, you made me, so you'd best be giving me a decent name.

Life rules with Robin: absolute necessity before anyone chooses to live together in any circumstance.... before anything or anyone moves anywhere, there needs to be a sit down, face to face, notes taken meeting. This is where every scenario that could occur no matter how likely and everyone comes to the same understanding of what each scenario will play out. then follow up meetings should be scheduled to ensure everyone is on the same page, reading same book etc. Doing someone a favor, letting them crash for a week or two... doesn't happen until you have sat down and figured everything... zombie apocalypse... who is the runner, who is the bait... no topic overlooked. Or resentment and ending relationships is coming soon.

#1: Yeah, I agree. Have a talk about responsibilities. After that, take the steps you feel you need to take. If you're gone 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, that's definitely not your mess you're cleaning up most of the time. #2: This is a weird one. I do feel like both parents should agree on a name and try not to get their kids bullied solely based on a name. #3: Look, I'm not a pet owner. I love animals but from afar. It's kind of like people who like kids but don't want any of their own. It's nice to play with them, but you also want to give them back once things get dicey. Ya know? That being said, if a person has pets, it's a perfectly valid requirement/preference that they don't have to get rid of said pet in order to be with someone. For a lot of pet owners, it's equivalent to asking a parent to give up their kids because their new potential partner doesn't like/want kids. #4: As someone with anxiety, I had severe episodes when I was faced with having to make phone calls. If I had been in the daughter's shoes, I would've just made a sandwich or picked a restaurant that does online orders. She had options. The mom definitely needs to help the kid and back up Dad on things like this. It's only hurting the daughter, in the long run, to give in on the small things.

For story 3: "What if you met the perfect guy, but he's allergic to cats?" Well then, he's not the perfect guy. I love my cats and would never get rid of them ❤😺

(This is a long one, so if you don't want to read all of it, just scroll to the bottom) As a person with anxiety who took psychology classes, this girl needs exposure therapy. It is what it sounds like. I have been very fortunate in the fact that my Dr office excepts text messages and can make appointments through those, but there are other situations when a phone call is necessary. She's going to be called up by future employers for interviews, if she wants a specific pizza place, she's going to need to call them, etc etc, and Dad can't drop everything while at work to order a pizza for her. He offered her alternatives, and she declined. I really liked that, because not only did he give her other options, he also gave her an opportunity to learn that she can't allow anxiety to get in her way. One thing I'm hung up on is, if she really really can't make the call herself (which, again, I totally understand), why didn't she ask Mom to order it as well? And if she did, and Mom couldn't, why is the mom so mad at Dad? Long story short, I think she needs exposure therapy, like Rebecca suggested. Low stress phone calls (she could even write down what to say before hand in case she freezes up) would really help, and she could work her way up. It's not easy, and I feel for her, but her Dad can't just drop everything for a piece of pizza. Good Dad, good apple.

Story #1 - This just feels like things should have been communicated better. OP should have laid out what the house rules were when the couple moved in. If they're behind on their rent, OP needs to follow up on that, or assign chores/errands in place of rent. Basically, this would situation could be resolved with everyone just sitting down and drawing up a contract.

Story 4: the wife is absolutely hurting more then dad is by coddling her. Its probably not intentional, but saying "it makes is harder for her!" means that she CAN do it, with support. If she consistently feels uncomfortable with doing phone orders by herself, then as someone with anxiety, I would suggest having her call with parents in the room, giving emotional support.

Honest to God, I cannot stand people who try and shame others for loving animals! Just let people love who and what they wanna love! Good apple!

I am an anxiety disorder sufferer and In regards to the last story I can't make a full choice, for there isn't enough information about the type of anxiety. 1. anxiety is a bizarre thing, where there is NOTHING to fear and you know that but it doesn't stop. 2. based on how bad it is this phone call could lead to a full-on panic attack and being home alone for one of those isn't safe 3. anxiety might not be on talking to people, it might be saying the house is wrong, or ordering, seeing as the daughter seems very picky and something with a phone call means you would have to sit with it until the food would come. Anxiety has a lot of factors that are different for a lot of people, so I just don't have the information to make a real choice here. That being said, the daughter I feel is using her anxiety as an excuse. Just using it to get what she wants because it gains sympathy and as someone who has gone on a long journey to get over it and is now walking someone else along that path, it sickens me to (at least feel) like someone is using it as an excuse. On top of that the world does not stop because of the anxiety. It seems a bit selfish to me, especially as she doesn't need meds for it??? I've never heard of that, so if it's that little it seems a bit exaggerated to me. (Just for perspective my anxiety also had a lot to do with talking to people) On the topic of it being good for you, I have found that it is harmful alone. when you are with friends and family right there who are being supportive it gets a lot easier, what I would have done is maybe do a mock order and then have her do it herself but regardless OP isn't the bad apple. I think it is just a little inconsiderate knowing the harm pain, and tears that it can cause and there are many other times to get the confidence back. With all that being said, I think that OP was in the right to have him not do it for her and I think OP needs to have a conversation with his daughter and wife that he wasn't trying to hurt her but rather prepare her and apologize, not for his action, but how his action made her feel, and to ask her what he can do next time to make her feel more secure but not do it for her because in the end, experience is the best way to recover from anxiety.

As a person with anxiety, I 100% agree with you on Apple #4. Low-risk situations have definitely been helpful in overcoming some of these anxiety-related issues in my experience. I do think parents (and people in general) can be insensitive at times when it comes to anxiety (my parents definitely were at times), but these parents don't strike me that way at all. Good Apple.

As a girl with severe anxiety. Dad was 100% in the right. Low risk situations like ordering a pizza over the phone is a great place to start. Had the dad been forcing her to go somewhere in person when she’s not ready, would be a different situation. She chose not it make the phone call that’s on her. In my experience phone calls are hard. But not as hard as doing something face to face. I still have vivid memories of fifth grade being forced to ask a boy for a cup or homemade juice I didn’t want. I started sobbing right then and there. And continued to sob once I was pulled away outside 😅 It takes time but not having her work against the anxiety at all can be just as damaging

I also have anxiety and being encouraged to make phone calls has really helped me. I feel like this situation is an entitlement issue rather than an anxiety issue. Dad was good apple.

Story 4 reminds me of the girl I worked with who broke down crying after she was told to read a piece of paper over the announcement system. It's really weird but I'm actually less scared to walk into a building and be like hey help me out rather than calling over the phone like say if I need to make an appointment for anything haircut, doctor, etc.

APPLE PICKING DAYY

Happy April Mrs Rogers!

1. Story 1- crab apple. 2. Story 2- good apple 3. Story 3- good apple 4. Story 4- good apple

I just finished Abnormal Psychology and according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-5 (DSM-V-TR) one of the main treatment plans for Generalized Anxiety Disorder would be learning about the stress management part of that being, exposure treatment for whatever the client's triggers are. In this case, the counselor would have the client make phone calls to get her comfortable with social interaction. So in this case you are completely correct in that the dad did the current thing by refusing to make the phone call. The mother would be doing more harm than good in this scenario without even meaning to (it seems). This also depends on where she is in her treatment of course.

apple 4: I support the dad. He was at work when his daughter made the request. Anyone that had a job knows that you are not suppose to be on the phone unless it is work related. I had several jobs that had lockers for personal items and phones. The job i have now would write me up on the spot if I was caught on the phone. It is his job that is paying for the therapy. Why couldn't the other parent make the phone call? My secound problem is that this child interrupts her father's job over pizza. I never called my parents while they were at work unless I was dieing or the electricity in the house went out. It's pizza. It sounds selfish to cry and use the disability card because you couldn't get pizza the moment you felt like eating it. She needs food, but she doesn't need pizza.

I have dealt with severe anxiety since I was a toddler, and I hated, HATED to order for myself in restaurants, fast foods, even relatives houses! I could know exactly what I wanted (I never deviated from my usual order) and my parents encouraged me to start at aged 11 once they realized that just ordering for me was not helpful for me as when I’m an adult they can’t be with me everywhere. I’m grateful now even if I still get severe anxiety about ordering food, I’m able to push through and go by myself, it was an incredibly stressful start, but I’m so far ahead of where I was.

Story 4 Wait...why didn't the mom stop what she was doing and ordered the pizza for their daughter if the dad was too busy? I had to relisten, and there was no explanation that was given for the mom not being able to do it. Is she pissed that she had to do what she expected her husband to do? Why can only the dad call when the mom is the one who wants the accommodation for her daughter?

Story 1: Good apple the 23 year old is being complacent instead of grateful. If he was living in his own house he would have to do all of this without anyone communicating it to him. It would just have to be done. When I was 19 & my partner was 20, we had to move in with my parents. We paid rent on time, did our own shopping, our own dishes, cooked our own food. My partner looked for a job & only had to leave it through no fault of his own. (I’m chronically ill so couldn’t work) & we were looking to move out asap; he also helped out with other things around the home such as feeding the dogs & taking care of them if my folks left for the weekend, he also did things that did not affect him. Such as spending hours in chucking it down rain & shin high mud moving a log delivery to the shelter when he doesn’t use the fire. My older brother also lived there, rent free, didn’t leave the house, didn’t do the dishes, he did cook for himself but he didn’t shop or look for a job. He would feed the dogs if he was the only one around, but he’d do it late. And even after we left, we would go back to dogsit because my brother couldn’t be trusted to leave his room to take them out or spend time with them. He was supposed to help with the logs, got up late afternoon, idled around for a bit, had breakfast, then when there was only a few logs left he came out grumbling about the rain that my dad & partner had been in for hours. No amount of asking got my brother to do things he should just do to help out. But my partner just did it because he was grateful & a helpful person.

I also have phone call anxiety. It is only for restaurants. Partially it's from getting the the order wrong, the other is I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I love restaurants that have online ordering. It helps to make sure that there are no mistakes. I wish more would do it.

I love your outfit in this video! It’s so pretty!🩷

YAY APPLE PICKING DAY WE LOVE YOU REBECCA!! I listen to these going to sleep ❤❤

I told my co-worker once I miss the days of only having fur-babies, and she got mad thinking I was invalidating her experience only having pets. I had to explain that I loved my two bois more than the world at the time, but having actual children is on a whole different level. You have a lot more freedom as a fur-parent, and I miss those days. Not saying I don't love my child(5) because I do very much, but IYKYK

Apple #4: as someone with anxiety, making phone calls were basically impossible for me. Maybe her anxiety was not as bad as my own, but I do want to know if the parents have helped with the skill of phone calls? I don't know if others agree, but phone calls were always harder for me than things like ordering food in person.

I have this anxiety myself, the thought of having to talk to someone on the phone *chills* so i understand the daughter asking but I'm also a realist, would I love to have someone else always make calls for me? Hell yes but it's not going to happen, I have to push myself all the time to do it. So the dad saying no, you can call yourself or pick something else is not wrong, it might even be a good thing. 💜💜

As so many others have said, story four is a good apple. Unless it's crippling anxiety, it is doable to use the exercise of calling to work on coping during anxious events. Without a prompting event that raises the anxiety, it is harder to work on coping through it. Practice coping when calm, then use those skills to practice coping during lower stakes anxious moments such as a phone call to a restaurant. If she never works on pushing herself like that, it'll never get better. Dad was completely right and mom needs to stop coddling.

Heads up to all cat lovers! Purina has come up with a line of food called Purina live clear that when fed consistently to cats neutralizes FelD the protein in cats that people are allergic to!! This means people with cat allergies do not have reactions to the cats eating this food!! We use it in our own house with both of our cats and my husband who is allergic and used to just suffer has gotten a lot of relief the cats actually sleep on his chest now. Also my father in law who is go to the hospital allergic can stay over at our house with no issues. There may be outlier cats and people that this doesn’t work for but overall it’s very effective and I highly recommend. We have also had several friends who are allergic to cats over and no one has had any issues with them since starting the food. But if for some reason the foods not an option I still highly recommend cats over men:)

Starve? No. But I ate what my mom fixed for dinner or I didn't eat. And then I would have it warmed up for breakfast. No one dies from missing a meal.

As someone with anxiety, dad was right, don't force her of course because that doesn't help, but if you're not ready, here's other options. Strawberry jelly is great but my favorite is blackberry

Fun fact: I am AGAINST names being chosen reflecting family members. It puts too much pressure on kids to be like them and reach their “greatness.” Stop naming kids after your parents/yourselves/your grandparents, please give them their own name so they can be their own person? This goes for middle names too. Just.. How about we stop putting that pressure on people who will end up hating their names for years after because of it?

The thing with story 4 is that she had multiple choices. 1. Call 2. Find a place with online ordering 3. Eat what’s at home. The dad didn’t force her to make a call nor did he force her to not eat anything. She just needed to problem solve which she is old enough for and something she will have to do

Regarding the 4th Apple: I do agree that the dad was doing what he thought was right. I would still give him the good apple. But for me with a teenager that has anxiety with just looking at a menu that doesn't have a lot of pictures can cause them to come close to a panic attack, I would handle this situation a bit differently. If my daughter was actively trying to do some things to learn to deal with the anxiety, I would offer to stay on the phone while my daughter made the phone call and have them make sure the calls were linked. Then we wait for them to answer. If my daughter then started to panic and stumble a little I would speak up and say hello and explain that my daughter is wanting a pizza. "Daughter, what pizza do you want?" Have my daughter talk to me then help them transition to the pizza place. For me it is all about what stage the daughter is at right now. I used to be like the dad due to not knowing how to help my daughter out. But it wasn't working so I had to come up with different ways to help them. Looking up images of things that are on the menu and have them stand there as I order and asking them what they want. There were times I would have laryngitis and couldn't talk and I would need their help speaking for me. I would whisper say what I needed and they would repeat for me. This also has helped them. While typing this, it dawned on me that we went to a restaurant last night and they looked at the menu that didn't have a lot of pictures and mostly words and they were able to order and not have a panic attack. A lot of parents forget that our children sometimes need a little bit of extra guidance with things so they know what they are doing later on when they are adults and need to handle it themselves. I was there once and learned how to guide them to where they are now. My youngest took a longer time learning how to take a shower by themselves. I had to go from washing them to describe what they needed to do, then point areas that they missed or how the hair felt because they didn't get enough shampoo in it or didn't rinse it out well enough. Sometimes we humans need to have our hands held a little bit longer before we are able to traverse life without that helping hand.

As someone who grew up with severe anxiety that was never treated as a kid, the dad in story 4 is definitely NTBA

As a now 41 year old woman who also couldn’t order pizza on the phone, I feel this. Mom is hurting her daughter so much. Here’s my life’s experience. When I was very young I would not speak to the ice cream truck guy. My Mom one week decided that I had to and I went without. She was so hurt and decided that I was still too young to have to miss out on the opportunity for ice cream. Now starting into my memory I would be required to speak with sales staff in a store to get something that I wanted. I remember being sad a few times when I left empty handed. But things did improve and I’m glad she stuck with me through it. For everyone who is going through this it gets better. It hasn’t completely disappeared but it’s so much better.

Anxiety haver here! I also have siblings with varying degrees of anxiety as well ranging from severe to mild. I agree with you! Learning how to make and take phone calls is an essential part of development in this day and age. And I understand and relate to severe phone anxiety and I would personally just order from another place if the phone call was overwhelming. I agree that she will have to figure it out. The alternative is spending your life catering to your anxiety which is EXHAUSTING. I'm going good apple because the dad recommended alternative courses of action since the phone call didn't feel worth it.

I know they they don't want littles, but wouldn't rebecca and avery be the best grandparents 😂❤ you do have a beautiful smile! Have the best day

Rebecca I love your videos so much and I am always so excited when a new video comes out. Lately I have ran out of new videos so I went back and watched your first ones from this series and your funny shorts and story times. And the Field Trip from Hell. I love your content and I 85% of the time agree with you.

Hi! Love your content 💚💚💚💚

Hey! I love your videos!

My husband is allergic to cats. I have 2 cats that I adopted pre-meeting him. He had never really had much experience with cats before me but he LOVES them. 😂 We clean more often, he got a prescription nasal spray, it’s all helpful. And yet he still shoves his face in their fur because he wants to love on them even though he knows it’s going to make his allergies worse.

I once got rid of a potential partner because i had, at the time, an elderly Labrador who needed my help and time and patience. She moved slowly. She told me when she had to go out, but once in a while she just couldnt walk fast enough to get out the door in time. She required medicine which was a bit expensive for me as a poor grad student, but i was happy to give her all the care i could, because she had been my best friend for fifteen years. This other person tried to dump her at the pound to be euthanized in my absence. Luckily one of the shelter volunteers also worked at my vets office and recognized my dog, and knew that there was no way i would ever be a party to this, and she called me. I left work, came and got my dog, and changed the locks at home. Anyone who would do this to my sweet old dog is a lowlife person that i want nothing to do with.

Story #3 When I started to date my husband now I told him that my cat is my boyfriend (or a 2 year old with separation anxiety) I told him if he could not handle that we shouldn’t continue dating. He said ok and laughed and said “Ok” . Few weeks later he came over and met my boyfriend (aka Squirrel) I picked him up and introduced them and hand him Squirrel and he hugged him sniffed him and 6 months later Squirrel was doing the same thing that he would do with me. Meow at my feet telling me to lay down and laying by my feet in the any where I would sit for sometime, be mad at me and throw a fit meowing when I would leave the house or take a shower at times he would stare at me while taking a shower and be mad at me for a few hours after I got out. My boyfriend agreed that he was my boyfriend and said he would except the relationship and he would share. LOL

The first one he said that the daughter and son in law don’t think that he should have to do any of the house work or dishes. Which in my opinion means that there was a conversation.

Hi I love your videos, and today my birthday so I’m happy you made a video ❤

As someone who used to have pretty bad phone anxiety especially in high school, the dad is in the right. The only way I got over my phone anxiety was when I worked at a job that forced me to be on the talking to people, now I can make phone calls still with anxiety but I don't fully avoid them like I used to

I'm studying to be a psychologist, and have a USA and Australian bachelor's degree in it. Since the daughter has a counselor and has been getting the tools to do so, I agree, dad's a good apple. What you just described, facing your fears in low-risk, safe circumstances, is exposure therapy. An ethical psychologist would never undergo exposure therapy without giving the client the tools needed to handle it (anxiety soothing exercises, very gradual, slow increases in intensity/realism, etc.) But it sounds like she's in therapy getting those techniques, so she should be taking opportunities to use them, such as calling for the pizza.

Anxious parent of a kid with OCD who also had a degree in mental health. Dad was 100% in the right. Calling the store for her would be considered an "accommodation" of the daughter's anxiety and it sends the message that you feel that the child CAN'T handle their anxiety. It only makes anxiety worse. He made the right call.

Timestamps: 00:00 intro 01:00 apple #1 🍎🍏 06:35 apple #2 🍏🍎 11:05 apple #3 🍎🍏 14:25 apple #4 🍏🍎 20:25 outro

WOOH NEW VIDDDDD

Rebecca is always so amazing

This is my favorite series 😍

with that one story about the anxiety around phone calls, that sounds like it could be autism?? given the context clues around everything else in the story at least. like she got in her head she wanted pizza and it had to be from this specific restaurant but she couldn't pick up the phone but she also couldn't do anything else. anyway yeah it's on her since she had options and refused to do any of those options so the dad is not the bad apple. idk it could just be me projecting but how the daughter reacted kinda reminded me of how my sister probably would've reacted if she were in that situation and my sister has autism. edit: just to clarify when i say it could be autism i mean it could be a symptom/sign of potential autism at least. I obviously cannot diagnose the daughter as i'm not a trained professional nor do i know enough about the daughter in general. just, like i said it reminded me of how my autistic sister would react to the story if she were the daughter and while she's high-functioning on the spectrum, she's lower on the spectrum than me and i would've chosen a different pizza place i could order from online if i really had to have pizza. idk if that made any sense lol

Dad is right: The teen had options: Eat what was available at home, make a phone call, or choose a different place to order from that does online orders. She did not have to go hungry. It was a poor choice on her part.

I used to have horrible anxiety and phone anxiety. The time my dad forced me to make a call, I cried. I hated him. And 13 years later I'm grateful to him for doing. You can't hold hands forever. The world is tough.

For story 1, I get the feeling OP might be wanting to know if they SHOULD talk to daughter and son-in-law about doing dishes. It's less "he doesn't do this thing I never asked him to do and I'm mad" and more "I want him to start doing this, but would it be rude to ask?".

Generations ago, it was quite common for girls to be named after their Mom as well as boys being named after their Dad. (I’ve noticed this frequently researching my family tree.)

I agree with you about the child being named to honor the Dad. That’s why I like where I came from the kids get both the mom and dad last name to honor them both.

For story #4 I have severe anxiety (not helped by ptsd sensory issues and adhd) and I know the feeling of not wanting to make a phone call. Now I don't know why she didn't want to do it but for me it would be because I would feel like the person I'm callling is judging me and like I'm doing it wrong. My opinion on the story itself is the wife is mad at her husband for not making the phone call but she's there with her daughter to right so why can't she encourage her daughter to make the phone call and be there with her while she does it I don't know what do you think?

I love your videos 🥰

That last one, absolutely good on dad for setting boundaries and no he wasn't telling her to starve...first off she is very lucky to have the privilege to choose to order out when she's at home alone. There is food in the house and frankly the mom is being a princess too and harming her child by saying dad is wrong for this. I completely understand anxiety but that does not excuse this teenagers behavior or the mom for that matter. She had options that did not involve making a phone call that she could have picked from and simply didn't like that answer.....

“You heard it from me and I’m very smart, thank you” Yes we love our smart teacher lady 😂❤

For the fourth story the dad definitely is the good apple, i have always been quiet and shy and have social anxiety, and personally i wouldnt call someone i know to call someplace for food when i know they are busy, so the fathers response is reasonable, especially since he gave her the option to make herself some food

I've got all good apples. For the last story, I have severe Anxiety and still have to live my life. Yes I am on meds because it's so bad and if this girl is seriously tripping over ordering a dang pizza, her mom is really ruining her for the years to come. OP, please stay firm and help her realize that doing the small things will help with the bigger stuff like going to a new place for the first time and feeling like your going to be harmed in some way (the paranoia is real y'all!)

I agree with all your Apple assessments. I do question #1 only because, he really can’t be that foolish and if he is, his wife (the daughter shouldn’t be). Just my thoughts but I do agree that communication is key to any relationship. The rest were spot on. You rock says this old lady that raised 4 kids. I’m now turning 65 in a few days and adore your channel and wisdom.❤

First (love your channel btw❤️)you are very talented and entertaining

I have terrible anxiety, especially phone anxiety. Girl could've gotten food elsewhere 🙄

I’m someone with anxiety (as a product of PTSD) and phone calls was something I used to avoid a lot, to the point I was neglecting things I needed to do. It was definitely hard, but making calls gets easier as you do it more often and now I’m at a point where it isn’t too difficult (just a bit draining). I def think dad is a good apple and that working on building confidence to make calls would really help his kid

Story 4: I have anxiety, so I understand the daughter's perspective. Phone calls are massively anxiety inducing. But... that's my problem, not my parents' problem. I can either just do it (which sometimes takes me an hour of mental preparation) or I can just eat a sandwich. I'm not going to expect everyone else to handle things for me.

for story four I understand kind of not like talking on the phone but I talked myself into calling pizza hut and I was so proud of myself because I have autism and I over came something that I was scared of

Story 4: good apple she has got to learn to do things on her own. I would think all that work she and her parents did to help with her anxiety go to waste if she didn't start doing things on her own.

I have two cats ones a year old and another one that is 5yrs old and if someone hated them and if someone told me to get rid of them I would never get rid of them but ya I agree with you for #3 as good apple because I will not give them up for no one

If your boyfriend's allergic to cats all you have to do is feed them egg powder it neutralizes the protein that makes you allergic to the cat. It has to be egg powder that specifically raised by chickens that are around cats because the chickens produce an antibody that nutralizes the cat protien and ends up in the eggs.

apple 1 -maybe I was misinterpreting the question, but it sounded like it was AITBA for *feeling* that my SIL should be doing housework/ dishes, *especially* given the rent situation. In other words, "Would I be a jerk if I made this condition?" Straight off of that I would say good apple, because yes, I feel that is an absolutely reasonable expectation. *Next* would be to discuss expectations with all of the adults. TBH... if the daughter wants to take on some chores, despite working, that's fine as well, but in my opinion if 3 capable adults live in a household, it shouldn't ALL fall to 1 adult to do all of the housework.

You are the best you can do anything we all can aggre that the bad apple storys are the best!!!!!

Stewarta does sound like a furniture brand or a type of bird or something......I think it's lovely for mom to be honored by sharing a name with her.

This is so true, I know someone who gave their dog to their parents bc the fiance didn't like the dog and liked the fact that the dog had been around with the previous bf. So much so that when the dog got out the x would bring him back home. They lived in a college town during this time and so all the students lived within walking distance of each other. The x and her were still friends they were just kids. Anyhow, she got rid of the dog, married the guy after college, and divorced him a year later. It's not her fault honestly, her family pushed her into that marriage. It was all a weird situation bc she's a very smart and strong young woman. She’s a lawyer now and it's just so weird to think someone like her could get caught up in such a toxic, controlling relationship. Especially, seeing her husband now who worships the ground she walks in and is such a sweetheart! It's like night and day! But, the family pushed for the first guy and they even shamed her when she left him even after she revealed the toxic abusive behaviors! They tried a disowned tactic on her to get her to go back to him! It was so awful! I could never imagine trying to force one of my girls to stay in an unhealthy marriage.

Apple 2: Compromise positions. Split Stuart up. Steffani Artemis or something. It's missing the U, but you get the point. There are 2 names. Build on that.

for the last story, i agree with you but as someone with severe anxiety, i suggest instead of just expecting her to take the initiative to make those calls herself, by herself, have someone she’s comfortable with and feels understands her anxiety situation with her and help her a lil. just as support and if she doesn’t understand smth or doesn’t know how to answer smth, then she can say “hang on a minute” mute the phone and ask for help. therefore she’s learning but she’s not trying to push thru sm anxiety for such a small risk thing. i still really struggle with calls, yet have worked on the social side of my anxiety. the only way i did that was by making sure when i went out to places i knew i’d need to talk a cashier or waiter etc i was with someone who understood me and i was fully comfortable with so they could help me when i needed it. i also feel like the dad was a lil harsh with how he said she can call herself or make food

Parents have to let their children struggle and learn to do things for themselves. In nursing homes, the good ones anyway, the rule is “never do for someone what they can do for themselves”. Meaning elderly patients' quality of life and independence goes down hill dramatically if the staff does everything for them, even if it means the person struggles to do something. The same thing goes with kids. It is easy to get frustrated watching your child struggle learning to tie their shoes. It is easier to do it for them, but you are not going to help them learn to grow if you are constantly doing things for them, they could do themselves. Someone who does is a bad parent who mistakes babying their child for love.

Apple #4: I actually really appreciate your insight on this story. I do suffer from severe anxiety, and I'm on medication. The original medication I went on worsened my mental health, so I do think it's important to recognize that it is just not for everyone Also, YES these are important steps to recovery, and she does need to be able to find other options if she is not ready to be able to make the phone call. Good apple! I think both OP and you brought up some great points

*STORY 3:* if the perfect guy is allergic to cats then he _isn't _*_purrfect!_* *STORY 4:* the dad is absolutely 100% correct! Great dad!