Deciding when a viewing isn't possible 

My husband told me the tragic story of his brother's suicide at the age of 21. He put a gun to his head. Their mother insisted on an open casket viewing, and the funeral director promised he would try his best. At the viewing, the funeral director took my husband aside and quietly told him not to let anyone touch his brother's face or try to kiss him because his re-built head and face would literally come apart. That story always broke my heart.

I can't imagine being a police officer or mortician to see some of the horrors from car accidents, burned alive, excessive disfiguration. I could not do it and especially preparing children. I admire the strength and dedication for what they must have to see. Can't be easy. God bless them.

My daughter was in a bad car accident. It mangled her hands real bad and her head and face was unrecignizable. She was going to have a closed coffin but someone popped up saying she can fix her. She looked like a doll,it didnt really look like her,it was like looking at a porcelain doll,she fid great on her hands they were folded on top of her tummy. These people are amazing, and mean so much to families and loved ones.. You guys are so essential in this world!!!! 💘

My dad is a retired policeman and found his brother dead after nearly 4 days in a heated house in February. Now his training and experience kicked in and he handled it well. Two weeks later after the autopsy, he hoped that the funeral home could do a miracle and give him a better memory. Unfortunately, he was too far gone with skin slippage. That was 1998 and that memory still haunts my dad if he lets himself think about it. Always respect the funeral director’s advice when they give a “no viewing” recommendation. Excellent video as usual ladies! Hope you’re both doing well!

My son committed suicide at age 39. Because of his injuries, the funeral home suggested I view my son with only his arm exposed. They had him draped in a comfy blanket but his left arm was on top of the blanket. He had a full sleeve tattoo and I was able to say my goodbyes knowing it was him. It was truly a precious moment for me.

I've seen a viewing where a kind of veil was covering the open casket so you could see the deceased but kind of blurry und you couldn't see to many details. The person was a victim of crime and was badly bruised and wounded so it was particularly important for friends and family to say their goodbyes and have closure. It seemed like a pretty good solution.

When I arrived at my Nan's funeral they asked me if I wanted to view her in her coffin before they put the slip on top for the service, I hadn't even thought about it but was gently encouraged. I saw my Nan before she passed away and it was burnt into my memory, slack jawed, long unblinking stare, but in her coffin she looked so beautiful and peaceful she looked like she was just sleeping compared to when I last saw her. It gave me a different last image of her. I am forever grateful for the people who do this kind of work, they gave me something that has helped me deal with her passing and the trauma that came with it, that I would have otherwise still not been able to mentally move on from. I wish I was strong enough to do this type of job.

That’s exactly what my husband who died of suicide. Went through. They told me they needed a closed casket. I asked if I could just hold his hand to say goodbye. I really needed that. They had him ready at the graveyard for me to say goodbye. I watched him die. I just needed to see that he was somewhere. So thankful.

When my father died, he had traumatic head injuries. The funeral home made him visable for a funeral service. However, they told us he could not be touched, otherwise there could not have an open casket. We were truly greatful that the funeral home repaired him as best possible. He's been gone 50 years now.

My cousins had a horrific car accident. The female cousin was able to be identified by her father. The only injury the father could see was a bruise but majority of her bones were broken and internal injuries. The male cousin was not suitable to view or identified in person. My cousin was identified by a tattoo he had. He had been decapitated and massive injuries to his body. Both coffins were closed and no viewing. Their friend had closed coffin aswell. It affected their brother who was trying to demand open coffins. Sometimes it is best not to see.

I was out of town when my dad died. The mortuary was so kind to my sister and me. We were allowed to see him privately a day before the public viewing and stayed with him for almost an hour. He looked gray and was cold to touch but it was so helpful because it didn’t feel real until then. He had not been embalmed or made up at that point. When I saw him the next day at the public viewing, he looked so good which I found disturbing because he just looked like he was asleep. I am so grateful that I got to see him at both times. I don’t think I could have started to grieve without seeing him because it just seemed so unreal that he was gone. He died in 1999 and it still hurts so badly. I think about him every day. Thank you for helping people begin to believe that the loved one is gone. Thank you for working so hard for strangers. Not everyone is capable of loving like that. Thank you.

The fire safety trainer my company had told us his very first girlfriend died in a fire along with all her siblings, they had woken up as the house was going up in flames and died huddled together in the closet. They had a closed casket for their funeral. He insisted on seeing them for the last time in their casket, even their distraught parents did not view them and they were unrecognisably fused together-just covered with a blanket, no clothes could be put on any of them. But he was glad he did and it made him determined to finish his fire safety training and become a fire safety officer.

My nephew died in a very bad car accident. The mortician advised me not to view, because he couldn’t make him presentable, injuries were BAD. He said it was the most horrific he had seen in his years of business. I said .. NO, I need to view. I had made a promise to him, the last time I was with his, that I would see him again. I needed to kept my word, it was a promise. The mortician then showed me a picture of him and said if I still wanted to view, that I had to sign a wavier. I did so. I viewed.. I kept my promise. I told him I love him and that would be forever always kissed his check and walked out. Turned around and said forever always. It’s not what I hold in my memories .. my memories are happier times, but my word ( my promise ) is who I am. My love for him… forever always

My mother passed when I was 8 years old. Back then living in the mountains your loved ones were displayed in houses. Her eyes come open and we could see cotton and her mouth came open. My grandmother had to call the coroner and he had to sew my mother's mouth and eyes shut. I wish that on no one. Cause that's the way I remember her. The way she looked after that.

I got at call from a Trooper that they found my estranged father deceased in his home. Apparently he’d been there for a few weeks. When I went up there to the funeral home, they were so nice as most of them are I guess. Once everything had been arranged (for cremation) he said “would you like to see him?” I immediately said no and the look on my face was me thinking of what condition he must be in. He said “He looks fine, right before he died he had called for more heating oil to be delivered. The truck came out and filled the tank but Dad had died and the pilot light had gone out.” So right after he died the temperature in his house dropped…it was February in upstate NY and a particularly cold winter. So I got to see him and he did look fine, as fine as one can look and be deceased anyway. It helped a lot. Thanks for what you folks do. Much respect.

My auntie and uncle were decapitated in a road traffic accident. We obviously were unable to view the bodies but my mum identified them by their wedding rings on their fingers. 😔❤️

Thank you for this video. I found my friend of 32 years deceased by 5uicide. I saw what his head looked like. When the funeral finally came I didn’t expect to walk in and see an open casket. I panicked. I had no idea how they did what they did. This video and the comments help. I remember at one point at the end of the funeral, the people from the funeral home were up at the casket doing something for several minutes. I barely looked at him because I was so scared and traumatized. This helps me understand better all these years later.

I love that you do everything you can to facilitate a viewing. Not everyone would go to that effort.

I had a traumatic experience years after my mum died a few days after a car accident in 1981. The local news paper had published pictures of her still trapped in the wreckage. I didn’t see her before or after she passed in the hospital but my gosh it really ripped me up seeing those pictures that someone had kept for me. I did view my fathers body after he passed from a heart attack 5 years later. To this day I don’t know if it was a good or bad thing to see him (it was at the hospital less than a few hours after his death). Thanks for your videos T &T ❤

I would be mortified if after a funeral director told me in my best interest not to view my loved one but then I insisted...then to see what was left of them...my last viewing of them would stay with me forever...no way...I would take the advise if the professional. I respect your response❤

My friends father shot himself in the head and they don't really do reconstruction here in Sweden. But they had a "viewing" where his head was all bandaged and they could sit with him just holding his hand. So at least they could be with him one final time. I think it's great that you are honest with the family about why you don't advice them to view.

My heart went out to those who lost loved ones during COVID, that were unable to have their final goodbyes, and/or view their loved one for the very last time.....sorry a bit off topic, but something you said made me think of that horrid time called restrictions/lock down.

Many years ago, two elderly members of my husband's family were killed when their car was hit by a train. There was a huge debate within the family regarding open or closed caskets. Those advocating for open caskets couldn't be dissuaded. Despite the mortician's skill, there was no way to hide their horrific injuries, and to this day, nearly 50 years later, I can still close my eyes and see every bruise and section where their skulls were damaged. What struck me afterward was that those who'd argued for open caskets had no regrets, while the rest of us have always been tormented by a sight that was burned into our brains.

I've sadly lost many loved ones over the years, (thirteen from 22 feb 2016 (my mum) till Dec 14th 2019 (my aunt, mum's sister, on my birthday). I lost my best friend to cancer in March 2005. At her funeral, some people were saying that they didn't want their last picture of her to be in her coffin, so they hadn't gone to say goodbye. When asked what I thought, I replied that I wanted to go and see her, because I loved her, and being at the side of her deathbed (although I'd left 15 minutes before she passed, because she's kind of asked me to let her go), I wanted to see her at rest and peaceful. I also said that the last visual image was a photograph to add to the whole film of our lives together, and I chose to remember how much we laughed. I consider myself lucky to be able to think this way. I also consider myself highly honoured that I have known and loved these people, and grateful for the lessons they taught me. Thankfully, in all of the bereavements, I've never been advised not to see a loved one. I cannot imagine the pain of that. The use of a ribbon is such an inspired and compassionate thing. God.bless you. Xx

My Brothers body was found three weeks after he passed and we were told that we couldn't view and say our goodbyes to him because of state of his body we wereall heart broken.

I don't think there is anything worse than not to be able to say goodbye and have no closure. Imagine those lost in 9-1--1, they simply disappeared. People don't undrrstand the need for viewings but it a chance to say goodbye and have that closure. Hard for people to understand that.

My brother looked so handsome and looked just like he was asleep. I was 11 years old when my brother's girlfriend stabbed him in the heart. The work you people do is amazing. He was laid on this metal table of sorts. The room was super small and I remember bending over to kiss my brother I swear everyone who came in looking over and leaning on this very narrow table was going to make my brother dump off the other side. I will never forget the details, the smell of his cologne, his outfit. Everything was beautiful. Even at 11 seeing my brother's dead body was life-changing. Made me appreciate life and not to take anything for granted. I'm 35 now and I can still remember the touch and if I smell his cologne as someone walks by it makes me have an instant emotional response. I'm tearing up just typing this.. Thank you to those who do this line of work and make our loved ones final day as beautiful as possible.

You are such a kind & caring person Tracy. I wish more morticians were about that. Here in the US it’s about money making more than caregiving it seems.

My mom and dad died recently. A year apart. Dad looked peaceful and handsome. He was sick six days. Mom don’t look like herself as was on hospice for 6 months to the day. I was not able to see her due to Covid and senior living regulations. It was private viewing. Direct cremation like dad. My sister committed suicide in a different state. I didn’t see her. It’s all personal. Thanks for doing what you do

One of my best friends had been missing for almost 4 months until they found his car in the water with his body in it. It was hard to know that we couldn't have that last time seeing his body. but i can totally understand. i don't even want to know how he would look like at that point

My husband died in 1982 of AIDS. I had been with him in the hospital; and I did not need to visually confirm when told he had passed. I felt no need to see him again to prove it to myself. I would have liked to have remembered him healthy, but his need to have company for those last days superseded that. I think it's easier to let go if it's from a progressive disease rather than a sudden accident. My beautiful young sister in law died suddenly in a bad car accident. In retrospect, it may have been better if there was no viewing. Granted, my family was more....touchy kissy feely than the mortician planned for. She was missing pieces. On one level I was impressed at their ability with makeup and...spackle. But there is only so much one can do. Bless you for trying to make this easier on the families. When my grandfather died, the raised Amish man was laid out.....and made up like a drag queen. I'm sure there is a learning curve, and decades later we're better at it. Dear Gods; put me in the ground with flower/vegetable seeds and leave it at that. I want to be a memorial garden, not a tombstone. Stick a bird feeder in there. The mushroom suit was a nice idea.

I just like to remember a person when they were alive. Viewing the body I cannot handle.

I live alone and my son never checks on me. My biggest fear is dying alone, laying there decomposing and the horror my son would have to witness.

When my cousin was killed, she was left in the woods in July for 2 weeks, so the searing heat and the animals, you can imagine. They would not let her (adult) daughters see her. Would. Not. It was the right thing to do. They were so angry, because she had just disappeared. She was home that morning, and then she was lost in the worst way. Just gone. But they've made peace with it since. We can remember her glam headshots and smile, and not what had become of her in the woods. It was the right decision, and I know it isn't one the police/morgue workers made lightly but I am so so grateful they did.

One of my brothers was killed as the result of a drunk driver who ran into the car another brother was driving . My parents said my brother had a bad gash on his head where he had hit the windshield on impact of the wreck. They said the funeral directors had to sew his head up. I was 14 at the time this happened in 1975. He had been on life support for 4 days and then the doctors tips my parents that if he survived he wouldn’t be the same person we knew before, he’d be bedridden for the rest of his life.The doctor then asked my parents if they wanted him to pull the plug on life support and they said yes after they had talked to my aunt who knew how to “ read” the EKG waves. She told them that he wouldn’t have a good quality of life. The doctor had tried to kick my aunt out of the room but my parents told him that she will stay with him and them. My brother lived from Wednesday to Sunday after they turned off life support. My other brother in the car lived but he had to have surgery on his hips and he still walks with a limp today

My father passed suddenly when i was only 20 from a sudden heart attack. My twin brother went to say goodbye because he hadn't seen him for a couple weeks because he was away at college. I chose not to and am still glad I didn't. I will always remember him the night before when we were at my grandma's birthday, joking around with a birthday candle that played happy birthday when you lit it. My brother wished after the fact that he hadn't seen him, because although he wasn't disfigured, he said that the bruising from the paramedics working on him and the expressionless face really traumatized him. My father was a big jokester and was always smiling... seeing him without a smile, not even looking like he was just sleeping, truly bothered him. I felt guilty for a while that i didn't go see him, but I felt such peace after my twin told me that he was truly glad that I didn't go see him. I say all this, because everybody is different in what they can handle and what they want to do, when it comes to a deceased loved one. Take care everybody... ❤

My son was killed in a plane crash. No one would let me see his body. They said it was too bad. I really needed to see him. I’m so glad you did this video.

i am so sorry about your mom. 💔 *HUGS* it hurt to see/hear you talk about, I could feel your pain. I'm glad you've had that "maybe it was better" moment eventually, and I really hope it brought you some peace to have not seen her that way. I didn't see my mom one last time of my own "choice" (I was pretty mixed up between being traumatized and how quick it happened) and it has definitely affected me. And especially because I have such a hard time with cremation but had no choice because of money...getting to that funeral home and just seeing a little marble box, not a body... It was a perfect storm of disconnect and not fully having that "she died" understanding even though I was right there holding her hand: the Dr (mercifully but not for me) muted the machine so I didn't hear the flatline, then because of the vent her chest was still moving up and down, then not seeing her in a casket... I've come a long way and continue to process my PTSD and grief, but I still have that lingering feeling of "Where did she go?" sorry to go on like that, it just came out! it's been 4 years on Halloween (our favorite holiday), but it's still surreal.

My cousin was murdered and they made my aunt wait two days to see her. I was enraged. They had to threaten to call the police before the funeral director would let her see her deceased daughter.

you're a truly caring person and do amazing things to families loved ones with such dignity and respect too

You 2 are just so amazing! I love tuning in and watching your channel, thank you for all you do

Thank you lovely ladies for always being so open and honest, it's very much appreciated 💕

I worked at a funeral home once for two years. A family initially wanted to see their deceased son one last time before he was flown to Mexico for burial. The funeral director advised against viewing the body as the man had been run over by a piece of grove equipment. At first both husband and wife insisted. But the director, using as much tact as he could, kept advising no. Finally the husband realized it might be better not to. So he started trying to convince her not to after all. She wouldn't hear it. The director finally got mad and took her to the cold room where the body was. You could tell the second he pulled the sheet back. We could hear the shriek in the chaple room. The husband just shook his head. The wife came back face buried in her hands.

Thanks so much for answering my question. You can do wonders & glad you can because like you said, people need that last viewing to move on. Thanks again for all you time and answering my questions.

What a wonderful discussion! Really appreciate your POV re viewing. I missed saying goodbye to several family members and it hurt , but I have only good memories. Not that final image as you pointed out. I still grieve my dad all these years later because I lived away and he was cremated that day or so. So Thank-you ladies. I look forward to other episodes. Have a peaceful day. 😊

New follower (I think you both are so sweet), I work in a hospital emergency department (A&E) as a patient care tech in trauma. I love your videos as they answer so many questions I have (for patients who have died due to gruesome circumstances like crush injuries and things). I appreciate you both ❤

I love watching your videos. They're informal and help me out alot while I'm studying to be a mortician. Keep up the good work :)

My uncle died in a traffic accident due in part to him driving drunk.. the mortician did a fantastic job at reconstruction.

I have so much respect for you!!! I'm an RN and am very intrigued with the dead (should have went into that field) Regarding death....my mom was basically "tortured" by the hospital where she died (my words) however.....being an RN (icu and cardiac) I was asked NUMEROUS questions EVERY day about her condition, and what to do, what not to do, how to do, etc.....when it was time to stop the machine my dad asked me if that was ok.....I told him i couldn't make that decision.....that it was up to him....i don't have that right. I never got to grieve for my mom when i should have because of all of this. I eventually did, on my own with NO support....it's ok...I'm good now, it still hurts EVERY day but you learn to live with it. It never gets better, you just learn to live with it! I can't believe it's been almost 20 years since she's been gone.....

I was a nurse aide and had to clean up my fair share of dead bodies. 9/10 times they've been my patient. Its not creepy or scary, its more a somber and sobering experience. Not to say its not hard, because they become like family. But we do have to clean up and prepare the body for the morticians to transport.

Thank you so much for your videos, I find them so instructional and I love the delicate way you deal with certain themes, you’ve earned a new subscriber ❤

I don't ever care to see another deceased person again. At least not anyone I know. It definitely sticks with me. When I was asked if I wanted to view my sisters body...I'm so glad I said NO THANK YOU. I have wonderful memories of her alive. I did look at both my nephews and my precious bonus child. Tattooed in my mind. Sure wish I hadn't. Big regret.

When I first said I wanted to see my daughter the funeral home receptionist said "No" I found her and held her from her ceiling fan screaming "why" It was traumatic since here I couldn't bring her home until cremation. But the funeral director said "I can absolutely visit her" When I arrived with my mum in law and boss and friends, said I just wanted to see her again the receptionist said "No" Thankfully I had my mum in law there to calm my Irish ass down, because she said "Liz you will see her again" My boss who also lost her daughter to suicide went with me to view her, initially I screamed, but they hid the rope brusing, mind you I found her, so she just looked liked she was asleep. Why would someone want me to have the last visions of her like that? Thankfully I got to kiss her amazing violin hands, and tuck her into the blankets, she looked amazing to me, she has raynauds syndrome so her discoloration didn't look like that of a deceased person. But the funeral director was amazing, I never wanted to see her neck, I found her so that was the most traumatic experience, if I couldn't of said goodbye, that memory would've killed me by now I love my Justine, I will never understand how a breakup made her do this. But I'm forever thankful to see her just looking like she was sleeping. Others I know have it much much worse. I truly feel for them, my daughters cousin took his life 6 weeks before to a shotgun over a breakup, so I'm thankful I got to say goodbye and wrap her up and kiss her Everyday I'm one day closer to being with her Can't honestly with for that day I'm truly so sorry for anyone that's lost a loved one and they can't be viewed. I'm truly so so sorry 😞

Total respect for the job you do and the care you take in doing it right. ❤

You are a wonderful souls, working in the most emotional time in a strangers life for the best outcome for others. I praise you and so many others inyour field, for doing the same or simular jobs in a selfless manner for the betterment of their fellow humans' worldly experience. You will be richly rewarded for your compassion and servitude. 😘

I lost both of my parents a year ago. They died a month apart. My Mum dies of lung cancer first and her body, though skin and bone held up pretty well...However.. my Dad was a different story. He died of heart failure (and a broken heart) I visited him regularly and he stunk of rotting cauliflower, he went green and his skin started to peel. Purple wizened hands, skinny ect.. He looked like Nosferatu. (He would have laughed ) After a year I'm finally starting to remember them as they were instead of how they died. I don't fear death anymore. Great vid ladies as usual.

Hi girls x just to let you know that my sweet daddy passed away last Friday 😢 I'm so sad at this moment but dad was able to stay at home and all his loved ones were with him 💔 xx you both do such a wonderful job with your videos and I know that dad is well looked after from the funeral industry xxx

Hi! My uncle died at age 21 in 1947. I know, it was a long time ago. He had dived into the surf at the beach, most likely struck his head on something, was knocked out and drowned. They couldn't find him in the water, since the surf was rough that day, and he probably shouldn't have been swimming in the first place. The bad part was that they didn't find his body for three days. He had been carried by the water to another beach about three miles from where he had been swimming. It was in mid-August, which is typically hot where we live. My Dad had to go with his best friend to identify his brother's body. He said he could only recognize him by his appendectomy scar. He was wearing a silver ID bracelet, though. Here's my question: his body was not considered "viewable," so they had a closed casket, but the funeral director said he could show my grandma, his mother, an "outline" of his body. Grandma refused, saying she wanted to remember him as he was. Can you tell me what the funeral director might have meant by an "outline" of his body? This uncle died before I was born, but I've always wondered what an "outline" meant. Thanks so much.

My younger brother (57) passed away and was found 4 to 7 days after passing. My sister found him and was traumatized by the sight of his swollon discolored body. She still has nightmares and its been just over a year. Due to the condition of his body no autopsy could be done and he was cremated right away. I'm thankful I didn't see him and only have my memories and photos to remember him by.

I absolutely love watching your videos. The compassion and professionalism is admirable. You explain things so it’s easy to understand. I have so much respect for those that work in law enforcement and the medical field…including morticians and funeral homes. I know death comes with the territory, but I can only imagine what it must be like. Not only do you have to work with the deceased, but with a grieving family as well, which is NOT an easy task. ❤

. That's such a very difficult decision to need to make to advise them.. as it must be very hard for families to comprehend how awful it may be. You do a wonderful job to help them. Another very interesting and compassionate video. (Ps..kal looking savvy!)

When my dad died, he had a heart attack and passed peacefully in his sleep. Mom suffered greatly. Dad looked just like himself at his viewing but mom’s suffering was all over her face.

Tracy I love your videos you're very helpful! Well I'm a upcoming mortician and watching your videos I'm sure I will become a great mortician!!!

So sorry for your trauma...I lost my grandma from a car accident when I was 5 so I was not allowed to see her...now that I'm older I would have liked to have seen her but at the same time my last memory is very nice so I'm a bit conflicted...Have a nice day! Hugs and kisses from Alice

Thank you for caring so much. These videos are very informative and relevant. Keep up the great work!

When my cousin died in a car accident in the 90s, the funeral home told my aunt that she was not viewable. My aunt insisted on an open casket so when the funeral came, my cousin had a bruise on her cheek and a couple on her hands. That was it! My aunt was MORE pissed now because they tried to prevent her from a viewing with only a couple bruises visible. The funeral home should have known that her other body parts would be covered by the clothes so no one would have seen anything traumatic, if there even was anything traumatic. I just found the whole thing weird because my cousin looked totally normal aside from the bruises which were small. Great video ladies! Have a great week! 😘💜

Thanks T&T , sensitive as always.♥️

Sometimes, the condition of the remains especially in cases of severe trauma, or severe decomposition really requires that the remains not be viewed, as viewing of severely traumatized, or severely decomposed remains can be extremely dangerous for the decedent's loved ones to view the remains! Pictures of the decedent during life ✨️ 💕 💖 ❤️, and a closed casket can prevent severe emotional trauma for the decedent's loved ones 😢 💔 ❤️ in those cases, it is best to have pictures of the decedent during life so the decedent's loved ones can successfully grieve in the best psychological way possible ❤️ 💙 💖

Very interesting as Always, ladies. 💗 Thank you for keeping us informed. My Dad saw his brother (deceased) after their accident. The big heavy truck landed on my Dad's chest but on my Uncle's head. His wife refused to have no viewing or a closed casket. We kids weren't allowed to attend. Apparently they put sheets of gauze across the casket but it didn't help. The newspaper article likened his head to an egg that had a weight dropped on it. 💔

I did not view either of my parents because i was with both when they died. I had my closure, no regrets.

I can't even imagine why survivors desire to view their dead, stiff relatives or friends. This practice is very challenging and confusing for me. I appreciate you two. ❤

once again an awesome presentation ladies!

I’m a former coroner’s officer and can relate fully to what you discuss. I have no haunting memories only positive ones, even in the most extreme cases I dealt with. That’s because I did my job as part of a team of dedicated people. Professionals who were primarily concerned with the best outcome for the families. That’s the real take away-knowing I did my utmost for the bereaved. Btw Tracey, you sound like a Geordie girl, are you? Where are you from! I’m from Hebburn, South Tyneside, I worked in the City of Sunderland jurisdiction-a big, densely populated area. I loved it!

trigger warning, suicide I have been suicidal for quite a while. I just started watching your videos and these videos have been giving me some reality checks. I have been close to doing ''it'' but then I have just watched one of these videos and decided not to do it. This has happened a few times now. Thank you so much. It is hard to put it into words how I feel, but these specific videos kind of got me and now I think I should get serious help. Thank you so much, you came in clutch

I had an open coffin for an old mate i looked after for 10 years after he had a stroke. When i found him dead in bed one morning, he'd onviously had a paubful heart attack as his face was contorted in pain, but the morticians did an amazing job and hednever looked so good in life! But 2 fruends i saw - one's lips were stitched wring and she was pulling a face she'd never pulled in life. And another mate looked like he'd come from maddame tussauds wax works and looked surreal.

My sister and both of my nephews died in a house fire in 2009. Their bodies were taken away before I was able to get to the scene. I had to provide a picture of her and describe identifying marks to confirm it was her outside of dental records. I wasn’t allowed to see her or my nephews. I’ve since read their autopsy reports and can understand why the answer was no. 🥺

Thank you,yall are a good team

I was at my grandparent's house when my grandfather passed from terminal lung cancer, so I saw his body in the chair he passed in before the coroner and ambulance got there. My mom and I had been taking care of him ourselves with hospice people isiting a few times a week to check him over, assess his state physically, adjust medication as needed, etc... etc... etc... 2 days❤ before he passed, my mom had to catch a flight to Southern California (my grandparents lived in Las Vegas) for a presentation to a toy company (she was doing freelance toy design at the time). He was at a point where he had zero appetite, eating or drinking made it uncomfortable, so all i could do was get his meds and morphine painkillers into him via feeding tube that doctors had run into his stomach. I also changed out his morphine topical patches as needed too. He was in excruciating pain. Early the next morning, on a Sunday,, my grandfather fell and I had to call the emergency hospice nurse to come out. She assessed my grandfather, and I asked if I ought to call my mother and have her catch the next available flight back to Vegas. The nurse paused, thought for a moment, and said it might be a good idea to do exactly that, which I did. She also instructed me to triple his morphine dose and give it to him whenever he said he needed it. My mom got in late that night, he was still hanging on, barely. After the triple dose of morphine the nuse gave him and another one later on that day, he basically slept the whole time. My mom managed to wake him up to let him know she was home, he acknowledged he understood. He had another round of morphine that night. The next morning, my mom woke him up again to remind him she was home, and did he remember that from last night. He said he knew, he remembered. Had had one more dose of morphine, and an hour or two later, he was gone. I saw him in his chair, he looked like he was sleeping, fully at peace, so I had my closure then. I carried alot of guilt around for a long time, thinking I had done something wrong and that's why he passed, but a dear friend of mine who is a nurse said that at that stage, his body was already shutting down and in the process of dying. I did exactly as I should have done, exactly WHEN it should have been done, and I was finally at peace with it. Years later, when my grandmother in law was dying, my husband and I visited her in the hospital, and I was seeing those exact same things in her, and I knew she was going to pass, VERY soon, within days. Sadly, I was correct. I didn't say anything to anyone, because I didn't feel it was my place, and I figured it would make things worse on the whole family, but I knew what I was seeing, and was prepared to help my husband through it. I told him about this many years later, but in the moment, it wouldn't have been the right time.

I'm 71 & have attended many funerals, including my parents. I do not find comfort in viewing them all made-up in their finest clothes. A closed casket would have been fine for me. I realise that's my personal opinion & many people would not agree with me. It's just my choice.

Wonderful content lately. Always a subscriber!🙂

It is nice that the family does get the final say. Just because I know I would need that closure and time to say goodbye. I know if the choice was taken from me that would cause me trauma, I'd feel like I had them taken from me again, despite that not seeming reasonable or sane. Of course I'm speaking from a mother's POV. Then to feel all the guilt because if I was denied I know I would become irrationally angry at people that wouldn't deserve it. I'm an RN so I understand trauma both bodily and mentally, and I'm sure it really is different for everyone during this time.

I told my parents to keep my casket closed either way wither my death was tragic or peaceful as long as a full sized picture of me was displayed by the casket with the word "see you on the other side"

Another awesome video on a difficult and traumatic subject handled with sensitivity and professionalism. Just what we've come to expect. The sponsored AD to this video made me smile. Tracy it was for a new to market product in the UK. Heavenly Chocolate. 4% sugar dairy and lactose free made from natural ingredients. Yeah I know it's not as good as Thorntons (they are on the christmas list😂😂). 😉

This is such a beautiful and well thought out vid.

I just found your channel & subscribed! You do such important work & are so respectful & comforting❤ Also our name is spelled the same way

My late sister past away sometimes around morn/noon on Friday & we didn’t hear from her. Her daughter went to check 9n her on Monday morning she was deep purple & unrecognized. She was in hot apartment building those 4 days I wanted to see her but police 👮‍♂️ wouldn’t allow me to. Said it’s not how I would want remember my last view of her that was worst day of my life & blur after that. I respect ppl who work with our loved ones after they pass over & take care of the ending part.

She says no to families out of care, not that it would be too much work. I respect that!!

As someone who has suddenly lost multiple people in their life once a year the past 5-ish years. I’ve only done 1 viewing, which was for my grandmother. I didn’t have an option for the others, and didn’t really need it tbh. For my aunt, who I was extremely close to, I had a mental break down in the middle of the church when I saw her open casket. I could not view her body. I didn’t NEED to see her to have closure. It was extremely traumatic even seeing a tuft of her hair peeking from the casket. Not everyone needs to see them, don’t think everyone needs it for closure. I wanted to remember her alive. As someone who suffers from the O part of OCD, seeing her dead body would be an image burned in my mind and I would suffer from for years. She didn’t even die a traumatic death, she was in a coma in the ICU. She was a beautiful human and I only want her alive in my memory. RIP Isabel “Isa” 1972-2021

Sending Love and Blessings From South Africa🌻🙇🙏🌻

Just subscribed ladies, hats of to you.

I was attending college to be an embalmer but had to stop due to an emergency in life, but had learmed quite a bit. I also studied and watched materials on autopsies in my spare time so knew the procedure. My first wife died from left ventricular hypertrophy in December 2020 so was autopsied. What a violating feeling, knowing that they dissected my beautiful girl in the way that they do. And then the funeral was even worse. The embalmer was terrible. You could clearly see where they had stuffed her organs in a viscera bag inside of her because her stomache and chest were bulged. Then she had obvious dependant lividity in her hands, red and purple. They could have at least injected her hands and used make up. Her mouth wasnt set correctly so she had what appeared to be a smile like the joker on Batman. They styled her hair in such a way that she would have never worn it but i know it was to hide the Frankenstein stiches where they removed her skull and brain 😢 I cant get that image from my mind. Ive attended many funerals and that was the first and only time that i feared the decedent.

We had a family member who, tragically passed away at home, alone, and was found days later. We were unfortunately unsure of the exact day he passed… but I’ll never forget the funeral director telling us if would have been irresponsible of him to allow us to view him… We were told they were unable to embalm him due to the decomposition… he said it was to protect us and we trusted him 💔 Obviously none of us wanted to contest his expertise… it was better for us to remember him as he was 😔💙🙏🏻

In Britain you dont have a open coffin only at the chapel of rest where you can see the loved one privately this is more personal and not on public display which is unnerving for some people

My little brother died 8 months ago in an accident. It was semi related. They told us we likely wouldn’t be able to see him, but by some miracle his face/head was okay. We couldn’t even hold his hands, even his neck had obvious injuries. He couldn’t be dressed. It was the most horrifying day of my life. I relive seeing him so many times, and wish I could back to our last hug and make it last much much longer. I miss you, Noah 💔 nothing has hurt worse than his death, but I am thankful I was able to kiss him goodbye.

Hello! Thanks for the video, and I must say I loved that new camera angle :p I do have a question today, although it might be a bit confronting. What is the protocol for a mortician or embalmer about preparing loved ones or people they know? I imagine you wouldn't be allowed to/want to work on a friend or family member when they pass, but what about someone you met once? Like a cashier or a waiter? I guess in short my question is, what would happen if one day you open a bag and find that you actually knew Betty from before she passed?

Good day beautiful ladies. Have a wonderful week

When my dad died mum and I decided not to view because we wanted to remember him how he was. It was the right decision for us and didn't interfere with the grieving process.

Great message today, ladies! For such a serious video, I couldn’t help but laugh a few times at how proud Kal looked all cozied up to Tracy! Quick question though…do you charge extra for the time and resources it takes for an extensive restoration? Thanks Ladies!!! 🖤🥰

My dad passed away from terminal lung cancer. He was home on hospice in a hospital bed in our living room. He was more than just my dad, he was my best friend. I miss him and grieve his loss everyday. He's been gone 12 years. I also lost a dear friend, and my mom's companion both from COPD. I got to view my dad, and mom's companion. Morticians do so well at fixing up bodies for viewing.

Reading these comments and watching these videos brings me right back to when my paternal grandmother died Easter Sunday 1963 when I was 3 years old and My father was holding me while I was balling my eyes out and he took me next to her hospital bed and wanted me to give her a kiss goodbye but I looked at her and was horrified and really started screaming no I don't want to, now I loved her very very much but the way she looked just terrified me and I really can't say whether or not I really did give her a kiss but I've never ever forgotten that scene and how she looked and I remember the drive to the funeral parlor and we were sitting towards the back and then everyone started to go look at her in her coffin and My father wanted to know if I wanted to go see here and I was still so upset and truly traumatized I said know and held on to the chair so I couldn't be picked up without taking it with me. Please don't force kid's to do this stuff because this is My last memory of my grandmother and shortly I will be 64 and this still is fresh in My mind like it was just yesterday. She died of a pulmonary embolism and I'm told she basically threw up blood while being wheeled in the hospital corridor with such force it went straight up and hit the ceiling then immediately she was gone her mouth wide open with mucus or whatever like a band ftom the top to the bottom half eyes starring. As far as not knowing you are naked on the table, not necessarily so, I had tuberculosis when I was a little kid, got it shortly before I turned and went through the out of body looking at myself in the bed while standing next to my mother and Aunt trying to get their attention saying I'm right here next to you, then when I was supposed to have surgery to cut out one lung before they even put me out I died on the table, both lungs and all my veins collapsed and I suddenly was in the corner of the ceiling looking down on myself on the operating room table and watched the team trying to bring me back, I knew It was me and what happened but didn't care I had a different consciousness and understanding then I suddenly was back in my body in my room and My Aunt who was a RN Was next to the bed when I woke up, they also put a I.V. in My ankle bone, had to do a cut down procedure because no place to put the I.V. I TOLD My Aunt what I saw just before I was up in the corner of the operating room and what I thought but she just discounted it because of what I been through. But I know now what lies ahead so death isn't feared just like some others have mentioned maybe the way you die and dying alone.