My fathers parents use to do this. They would make my brother, mother & I feel unwelcome. And make it seem like they wanted only my father to go see them. We would go for Christmas & they would not have any gifts for us. Or they would give us something they had around the house. Meanwhile the tree would be FULL of presents for my cousins. My mother’s parents were the complete opposite. And for that I’m thankful. I miss them everyday. My fathers parents are still alive but I saw how they treated us as a child. So as an adult this is why I have no relationship with them.
No they don’t yes you are married but you shouldn’t just focus on your time only on your spouse & kids you should also keep a healthy relationship with your family unless your family is toxic
RIGHT? just bc their GROWN ass child is still holding a grudge from 6 YEARS AGO about sum shit she did to HERSELF?🤨 And they're like " but she lost her job and her bf this year 🥺" ok and? She should be glad they lasted that long with how much of a bitch she sounds from this situation them enabling her behavior isn't helping she needs to mentally grow tf up
"Am I the asshole for not wanting to go on a Thanksgiving dinner at my parents house without my wife" Long pause... Umm no? That's it, that's end of the case, let's wrap this up and go home 😂
NTA! Honestly the sister sounds like a horrible person. Obviously we don’t know full details on whatever was going on in her life... But the fact that she didn’t pay her rent AND ALSO managed to rack up damages that cost more than the security deposit in those same FOUR MONTHS was the first red flag to her behavior. The fact that she still has entitlement issues and acts this way 6 years later? She’s clearly not the type to learn from her mistakes. She needs to be held accountable and clearly the parents are just enabling her.
There is an update, they stayed home and did a pj party for thanksgiving. his son was upset the parents weren't there and they video chatted but the second the sister heard them they ended the call. He's decided that because they were ok tossing away his kid for thanksgiving, then he wasn't going to go to their house for Christmas either.
Yup, my husband and my rule as well. Our relationship almost was destroyed because his childhood best friend did not like me because I stand up for myself and I got my husband to stand up for himself against his best friend. His best friend raised his fist at me one time and my husband knocked him on his ass and dropped him as a friend. From there on out we had an agreement that we would never let anyone that doesn't accept the other into our life. We are a complete package you cannot have one without the other.
4 months of unpaid rent and lots of damages and left behind items? Of course she was going to be evicted. You can’t just live somewhere for free then be mad when you’re evicted and made to pay money for what you did. Im sure she’s embarrassed but that’s not OPs wife and child’s fault. Bring your fam to thanksgiving. If sister is still to immature to come than she needs to reevaluate herself and grow, or not come.
The fact that the wife was nice enough to still keep what the sister left behind so they can be picked up. She would’ve had every right to throw it out after what the sister did but she was decent enough to be nice about it
Just right off the bat, absolutely not the asshole. But let’s listen to the rest. My official answer is still no. It’s not the wife’s fault that his sister didn’t pay rent or had to pay extra for the damage SHE had caused. He’s not a traitor for falling in love and marrying her former landlord. No matter what the sister is going through, he has every right to deny the request.
I think for the parents, it's more about her finally wanting to come to Thanksgiving again... it sounds like she hasn't been coming for a while to avoid her big brother. She has serious issues and needs therapy.
Also, in what world to put it be OK for the husband to leave his wife and his son alone for thanksgiving - they should be top priority over your parents because that’s what happens when you marry somebody
Every year my family does secret Santa for Christmas. It started as an idea to make my grandma spend less money on presents. But everyone got super on board with the idea. And now it's international secret santa with all my aunts and uncles and most of my cousins (we all live in 4 different countries in 7 different cities). It's so much fun than before and we do the raffle at the beginning of every year to have more time to plan everything
sounds like the sunken cost fallacy on the part of the sister. she's just too far into this hatred and is too proud and too deep to apologize/just let it slide
Or she's just a narcissist (since she wants to exclude the wife, the child, but have her brother there) and the grandparents are enablers. It would explain why she felt she could not pay rent for 4 months, damage a property, and not be evicted.
It has nothing to do with the brother. The sister and him were not close, I believe this has everything to do with her, and wanting the brother there to get back at the wife. To make the wife upset and feel like shit so that the sister can feel better about herself. And shame on the parents for enabling this and on all three of them for doing that to a 3 year old.
Literally the holidays are my least favorite time of the year because of the expectations of family during this time. Long story short I’m an RN (a new one) and sadly we get the short end of the stick when it comes to getting holidays off. Told my dad I couldn’t come last year and next thing you know he’s calling me selfish, a worthless daughter, and saying a value money over them. Let it be known I have a big family and we all live in a 15 mile radius and see each other every other week so this really was like a “are you serious” moment. Lowkey I would love to air out this story to you guys cuz there’s so much more to it but yeah, over time I’ve just come to not like holidays anymore
I’m sorry for your dads behavior. You’re not selfish though or worthless, sounds like he needs to learn how to be more understanding. Also holidays shouldn’t be the only time you visit family and I feel you on the expectations thing. Hang in there!
It feels like one of the logical explanations as to why the sister acts like that is because she is a narcissist who never sees herself in the wrong. That’s why she has no remorse and doesn’t even want to know her nephew. That or she has REALLY big entitlement issues
Wait… Did she not go to the wedding?? Because she hasn’t wanted to see OP or his wife since they started dating and held a grudge for years I wouldn’t be surprised.
My uncle got out of prison about a year and half ago and I absolutely, point blank refuse to be around him. My grandmother really wants him to have normal, family holidays, though. One of siblings ALSO can't be there because my uncle can't be around their baby (you see why I hate my uncle). My grandmother still really wantes my mom and brother to come over for my uncle's first Christmas back, and my mom was like "...You want me to ditch my daughter, my son, and my grandson on CHRISTMAS?" and told her absolutely not, they could meet up a different day. It still baffles me that my Grandmother chose that man over being there for her great grandson's first Christmas, but I guess she was just lost in the sauce.
I don't get how the sister's breakup has anything to do with her sister-in-law and nephew, resulting in them being uninvited to the Thanksgiving dinner. The sis is just a bitter crazy lady
The sister's incredibly entitled and it shows. Like, she didn't pay her rent for FOUR MONTHS and apparently caused massive damage to the apartment in such a short time, but she blames the ex-landlord wife... and continues to around 5-6 years later? (I mean fine, sure, landlords are leeches and OP may be a class traitor, but that's not the subject on trial here.) I'm sure the family could figure out another day to do a meal that isn't a holiday if she just wants one get-together with her immediate family after a hard breakup, but OP has a wife and kid now so it's not an "either or" situation for holiday dinners.
I’m wondering why the sister/family wouldn’t want his son to come either? Regardless of whatever the beef may be with the mom and sister, why exclude your nephew/grandchild?
If he is such a traitor to the family, then why now? It just sounds like she wanted revenge against the wife to leave her alone on the holidays and make a show like "Ha, he chose me over you and your kid"-
Thats her nephew she wants to stay home during a family holiday. We all have issues with family one way or another but it should never effect the kids. Thats her nephew, his parents grandchild, no ok definitely NTA
So because the sister chose to be irresponsible and not pay her rent now this guy has to have a Thanksgiving without his wife? How is that anyone’s problem except for the sister it’s not a personal attack you get evicted when you don’t pay your rent lol
The pronunciation discussions get me every time lol Here in Australia we say ‘bag’ like Americans and we also still say ‘vague’ the proper way too, I don’t know how you guys get them confused hahah On another note, love you guys I literally binge watch/listen to Two Hot Takes like almost every day
Tbh think about the parents wtf do they not want to see their grandchild !! Like really they should be saying to the sister no we want to see our grandchild. If this is an important time then they would want everyone there not just the sister and her wishes !!
I am always blown away learning how different people view family. I always thought family meant anyone married in or blood, not just your spouse and children. My in laws are hardly involved in our lives. FIL visits us for dinner every 2 years.
Yes! Once you get married this is “your” family! The family you grew up with is secondary. It doesn’t mean you have to love them any less but asking to remove “your” family is is completely unreasonable. If they don’t like her then have a dinner on a different day. If he complies this will continue. The sister is immature. If he meant so much they can stand to be around her for a few hours. And why punish the unborn child? Weird that she doesn’t want an innocent baby around. It’s time to grow up sis.
Hell yes! My first bf in high school was from Minnesota and had family in South Dakota. When i first heard him say “beig” and “fleig” (flag) i laughed so friggin hard i think thats when he started to dislike me 🤣
You guys are totally right about the "vague" thing, you're saying it right!!! Most Canadians say it that way depending on where specifically your from, and the bag thing!
Omg yes. I was Born and raised in Minnesota, I moved to the south and my fiance gets on me saying it's not ____ it's ____. He knows now it's just how I was raised and we just laugh about it now. I have also noticed they say I have a northern accent and me being a speech student telling stories in different accents and also competed in highschool never noticed it but then again if you are around others with the accent you honestly don't hear it. I still have this "Northern" accent but if I get really heated or passionate about a convo my accent changes ( I have no control of it) but just wanted to say I totally feel for you guys and happy I found youtuber who is from my home and understands. Have a great day and stay safe.
How have these parents not staged an intervention for this daughter? Am I the only one questioning how no one has sat her down and asked her what the hell is going on with her disrespectful and damaging behaviour? This woman stole from this mans wife by not paying rent and then has the audacity to hold a grudge when she is taken to court for damages to the house. How has no one in these 4ish years not sat this woman down and asked whats going on? This behaviour is not okay and the parents are enabling her by even suggesting the wife and son skip Thanksgiving. NTA
I'm sorry. But if the sister is so alarmingly devastated over the breakup, I find it unlikely she'd still have the energy to hold this years-old grudge. If I wanted to see my family that badly, my pride would not hold me back especially not for something where I was obviously in the wrong.
As someone’s love language is gift giving. Giving people presents brings me so so much joy! But it’s not about the amount spent. It’s about the ability to share love! I’m a college student so I tend to make a lot of Christmas gifts or thrift things for those who are okay receiving thrifted items. I actually have a small business that I ended up starting because I learned how to make gifts for friends and family and others wanted to but it lol.
I’m Canadian, trying to get into voice acting. And we’re always told you need to learn to speak standardized American (Hollywood movie English) so that you can get into larger markets. It’s weird finding out from watching movies/TV online how many words I already don’t say the Canadian way!!
OP sister is irresponsible. Not paying rent and losing her job bf are signs she hasn’t matured over time. She probably knew she couldn’t pay going in. Husband should be with his wife and kid. The fact his parents are ok with not seeing their grandchild is crazy. They’re enabling her immaturity.
Sister is being spoiled. I wouldn’t be ok with my husband ditching me and our child during the holidays for anything, really, besides an actual emergency
I’m pretty sure it is vague with a hard A, like if you were gonna say torNAYdo that’s the same sound as in vAYgue this podcast was killing me during that part lmao. It can be more like “vegue” due to accent but it shouldn’t have a soft A to rhyme with bag. I could be totally wrong though who knows lmao. Sending love from Texas 💖
As someone who had a manipulative sister growing up. The SIL’s demands are 100% about setting a precedent and setting her self and her needs in the eyes of the brother over the loyalty to his wife.
Makes me sad that you changed your accent when moving to LA. I’m from So Cal and I’m currently staying in southwest Minnesota for work and it’s SO hard to not talk like y’all do here, so I guess I understand. But please don’t lose or change your accent bc other’s mock you. I promise you it’s what makes you, you!
About the problem with different pronunciations: I'm 17 years old and english is my second language, but I've been having english as a subject at school since first grade.. Actually, I never thought about how I know if "read" is present or past tense, I just read it the right way automatically. Maybe this just has to do with practice, but I can't remember being confused because of it once. It's the same with other grammar, I'm not able to explain a single tense or sentence structure but get it right most of the time, however this works. But for someone who speaks German as their native language, it often feels like every other language is easy compared to German anyway. It's very weird, we can't speak our own language correctly because it's too complicated and doesn't make sense in some parts... so I'm glad I can use english on the internet. In my school, we learned British English (and pronunciation) until 7th grade, then got new teachers who spoke American English. Now (in 11th grade), we can decide for ourselves what we want to use, but we have to stick to the decision when writing an exam, we loose points if we mix spellings or expressions. My pronunciation isn't that good, but I sound more american, just because I hear a lot more american speakers on the internet. At this point, I have to say your pronunciation is one of the reasons why I love this podcast so much. You sound pretty "neutral" which makes it very easy for me to understand everything, even if I'm doing my homework while listening. It's just easier for my brain to process this way and I don't need that much concentration. Thanks for helping me learning this way! I hope this podcast will be there for a long time since I really enjoy it :) [Side note: I'm sorry for any mistakes, I hope this comment is readable. I know my english isn't perfect but I'm trying my best. And typing with a german keyboard that tries to make german words out of everything is annoying..]
I blame the parents in this situation, too, because they most likely babies the sister to the point that she think that everything is free, and she can do whatever she wanted with someone else's property. Or she most likely did the damages to get back at OP's wife for evicting her, and didn't believe that she would get sued for the damages she caused. Also, I have a haunch that the sisters ex was being pressured into marriage because she saw how happy OP was with his family, but the ex didn't want to settle down with her and called it off. The sister is just jealous that OP found someone and has a family with them, and doesn't want to see him with his family. As well as disliking the wife.
I come from a dysfunctional family. I say bring the wife and kid anyway. Best case scenario the sister gets a nephew and sister in law; worst case scenario most holidays suck anyway.
I totally understand difficulty with paying rent. But she also damaged the apartment. That's not cool. I don't understand how she blames the landlord for having to collect from her. Landlords can be evil, don't get me wrong, but there's nothing in this story that suggests that in this case.
Why would she wants her brother to be there lmao like he even said that he was not even close to her and even worse after his marriage. WHY DOES SHE WANT HIM TO BE THERE other than the fact that she want to sabotage his holiday with his family cuz she is bitter that he has a lovely family with the woman she hates and she is here, with a bad break up after 6 years in the relationship.
I feel like because of the background it would be completely fair to try a lunch on a random day just OP, the parents and the sister. It may be a first step to resolving issues. But asking for thanksgiving if beyond ridiculous and this sister needs to take responsibility for her actions and leave the ego at the door. What the parents are asking for is just delusional and need to ask themselves where they went wrong with their kid.
hey, token brit here! I'm northern and we have a different accent to the south - think Ned Stark in GoT rather than Cersei - and it's pronounced vey-g' here with a hard g. lowkey considering making a tiktok to pronounce words with my northern accent lmao
Me personally idc for getting to know my family. Tho I’m not going to treat them any differently than I treat anyone else nor will I not let the opportunity for them to get to know me.
Wow ! The sister is so toxic ! She doesn't like his wife and made her tort. That's her issue. He has no reason to exclude his family on such an important day ! P.S : About the accent. As a french, for a long time, I felt not confident about my prononciation. And still... It is faaaaar from perfect. But years going on... I met a lot of people around the world and had courses/diploma in my speciality through the English medium. And then, I stopped to feel not confident. What matters is just to be understood. I spoke with people from all continent with English as native and non native language, and we all speaks with different accent but understand each other.
The sister knows exactly what this could do to her brothers family if he acquiesces to her demands, and she is okay with it. She wants that because she wants them to be just as miserable as she is.
Regarding the language / accent segment at the end…. I’m a Midwestern transplant (MI) living in the South (NC) for 10 years and my brain still breaks over the word “bagel”. Apparently, my northern / Midwestern twang made it sound funny but I could never quite hear what exactly it was so I’d try to correct it and say it differently, but since I didn’t know what to correct, I’d just say it in some other odd but equally incorrect fashion and to this day, literally 10 years later and I tried to use the word this morning, I still stumble over it and don’t know how to say it! I’m corrected every time but that one word completely breaks my brain. Every. Time. 🤕
Honestly im from texas. I was born in like the most country parts but i was raised in houston. I hated the southern accent so much because orher states make fun of it i dont have much of an accent now. Now people ask me where im from because of it and im just like "im from here" but the accent does come out if i talk to someone with a heavy southern draw
As someone from Sweden, I find the texas accent SO charming :) I actually think it's one of the most charming accents in the world. I do understand feeling discouraged from having a strong accent though, a lot of people for some reason make fun of the way people speak which really sucks
This is just such a petty way to reject a side of your family. Like I'm forced to hang out with my antivax transphobic family I'm trying to cut off but can't cause their kid loves me and she's too young to understand why I'd leave. She cuts of her nephew for his mom asking 4 months worth of rent, like I agreed it's fine if you miss a month but at four months you need to figure something out. She needs to grew up
NTA! He needs to protect his small family aka wife and child from any fakery. Sister is a terrible Bi$&, and parents are being dumb and manipulated. Sister needs to grow the hell up and if she doesn't want to see his brother and his family than she can stay home herself. Stepping on his family sister disrespects them all.
Sister is a horrible person and seems to me that since she lost her job and relationship she wants to cause problems for brother. You should never turn your back on your wife and child.
With me, I love adopting different dialects of English from all over the country and world. I pronounce things so differently, like mirror i say “meer”, instead of privacy I say it the British way “priv-ih-see”, I go from Boston, to Texas, to London, to Dublin all in one sentence. Not even on purpose, it’s all just how I speak. It’s quite cool actually.
So, we're just not going to talk about how messy the start of the marriage was? I know that isn't the point, but I truly cannot imagine dating someone who was picking up an evicted housemate's/ roommate's/ tenant's belongings. After I SUED them. Too close to a hot mess situation there. How did either of them get past that bizarre beginning?
girl i gotta say, you do NOT sound british, this is coming from a british girl 🤣 americans always think other americans sound british for some reason 🤣
9:23 speaking of pronunciation…I’ve noticed this at least 10 times throughout various videos…you cannot pronounce the work “ruined” it’s Roo-end, not roond. You say it as a single syllable and so so so incorrect. Drives me nuts every time I hear you do it Edit: omg! 22:21 yesss exactly my point thank god you’re aware of it now you can stop
Not wanting to know a child isn’t disgusting… some people hate kids and it’s a valid feeling. And some kids are assholes. Some people aren’t kid people. Society needs to accept it and stop shaming people for valid feelings. Also do we actually know what actually happened when she couldn’t make rent… what if she was a shitty slumlord? We need more details… maybe that’s the reason why the sister is still holding the grudge… and if that’s the case good on her for not letting them walk all over her and the grudge is warranted.
She’s not being shamed for that, she’s being shamed for wanting a 3 year old to spend thanksgiving without his grandparents AND his father. OP said in comments that his sister was an irresponsible party girl and that’s why she didn’t make her rent. And what? Being a shitty landlord doesn’t give sister the right to keep living there rent free and damaging property. If a guy on the freeway cut me off, that doesn’t give me the right to take a bat and damage his car.
@@liamisaac1152 I was commenting on the comments the women reading the story were saying… not the actual Reddit post. They were shaming op. If you were paying attention to their reactions and words. Also there are many instances where you shouldn’t pay rent if the landlord is shitty. Check your local landlord and tenant rights and responsibilities. Two months ago my landlord claimed that I never paid rent when I did. I have the proof of it. He wouldn’t accept it as paid until the money went into a different account… but I checked with the landlord and tenant act association where I live and I am not required to pay it twice and he was trying to scam me. The car analogy is not a good comparison.
@@liamisaac1152 also the girl with the brown hair said “ not wanting to know your 3 year old nephew is disgusting” this is the comment I was commenting on originally. Not wanting to know or associate with a 3year old is not disgusting at all.
Ok ngl your friend is akways way too nice lol nothing wrong with that, but some people don't deserve compassion and reasoning. Sometimes ppl just need to be flicked on the nose - quit justifying these ppls awful behavior
