I worked in education for 24yrs and believe me, when youre in it. You dont see how mad it is and how it affects your personal life and relationships. When youre out of it, you see how bad it really is.
I taught English as a Second Language for 10 years abroad. The housing for foreign teachers was in single apartments, so no roommates thank God! One day after a lesson about daily routines and the language used to describe daily routines, a student asked me who I talk to after leaving school. I had to stop and think about that one because I had never thought about it before. My answer was "no one". I realized that I was literally silent from the time I left school until the next school day. After so many words, notices, questions, hearing so much talk, and being involved 100% in the day, silence is golden. I was a single woman who could leave the job after my 8 hours. I wasn't even a principal with administrative duties, and I can't imagine how this man feels being responsible for an entire school and making big decisions about his personal life at the same time.
Nights too -- grading papers etc. And if you have a needy student, I'm assuming that takes up after hours time. I love Dr. Delony's advice here. You can tell he's been in the education trenches himself! I stumbled upon a couple of his shorts giving relationship advice. Now I'm addicted to his podcasts!
I once turned down a significant promotion which involved increased prestige, setting my own schedule (to a degree), a higher upside on $$$, and about a dozen direct reports (I had zero at the time). I could have helped set policy for my organization, influenced leadership decisions directly, etc. Declining that position was one of the best moves I ever made; the work wasn't what I wanted to do, it didn't afford me anything I didn't already have, kept me stuck in meetings half of my days, and would have kept me up at night with anxiety about this or that. Signing that declination document and sending it to HR was like a burden lifted from my shoulders.
Dodged a similar bullet myself recently. Everyone (friends, family, colleagues, and managers) wanted the job for me more than I wanted it for myself. As the application deadline approached I became increasingly anxious, when I should have been excited. A coworker applied and was promoted to the job. She is so frustrated and already feels underpaid and overwhelmed…
He’s a leader. What the hell does she expect. As a woman, I couldn’t imagine trying to convince my fiancé out of his dream job. What’s going to happen once he’s no longer a Principal? The resentment is going to build. Being a Principal is a honorable job!
I watched the video and I didn’t hear that. I think it was more so him wanting to get ahead of a relationship breakdown that could occur due to the stress of his work life.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
I work in education as a special education teacher. I started year nineteen. No one has enough time and energy to do everything well. You have to let go of the trophy mentality that says you need to be the best. Instead, you do your best with the time and energy you have. You make peace with the job you had the time and energy to do. Also, don’t forget to delegate. Just because someone comes to you that doesn’t mean it is your job to take care of them. I have parents who think my job is to fix their problems with their child’s teachers. If the problem is something the vice principal is supposed to do because it involves disciplining a teacher, I tell parents I don’t supervise teachers. That’s a vice principal’s responsibility. Then, I direct them to their child’s vice principal.
I’m happy he is self aware and that’s a start and great job on your career now you got to do the work for your relationship. That’s the hardest part . You can do it . The fact you care enough to get ahead of this , that’s awesome . And she will appreciate it .
He’s not ready for marriage, plain and simple. My husband and I have both worked extremely stressful jobs throughout our marriage, but your spouse should be your safe place that feels like home when you’re with them…not an added stress that you pull away from because you need to unwind. If you can’t unwind with her, please don’t marry her until you figure out how to restore some balance to your life.
Education is a different world from most careers, I'm finding. The emotional investment a caring, nurturing person builds into their students is intense and very difficult for them to pull away from. Maybe caller was able to manage it when he was single, but now he has a conflict of interests, with a partner wanting to be his emotional priority over his students. He needs to figure it out before marrying her.
This reminded me a joke: “- Son, get up, you'll be late for school! - Oh, mom... I won't go today. I don't feel well. - You have to go, my son. Don't make excuses. What happened again? - I don't want to go because the kids are laughing at me and the teachers don't like me. - Come on, son. You're a smart boy. I'm sure you'll manage. - No, come on, mom. Give me at least one important reason why I should go to school today... - You're the principal.”
It’s sooooo true about schools. Class donuts class scones class cookies etc. this is my doctoral classroom 😂😂😂 lol. I am going to be trying so hard on self control this fall
Just keep plugging away both my parents are teachers and my dad sells ice cream in the summer. He has so many events and drop off freezers for events. You can do this.
I get the overwhelm in education! It’s crazy! I love to come home to my husband and kids. They are my safe place. Sir, please get out of education. It will consume your soul if you let it.
You keep referring to teachers and students. At the elementary level, it’s all parents, parents, parents. The parents want to plow straight to you…to the top. Parents are nervous, insecure, terrified, and angry. You are building a family. The joy of interacting as an assistant principal with children, parents, and teachers casually is over. Yes there is grief. Keep up the good fight until it becomes second nature and until you find joy again. The sensory overload is real.
Problems can be solved. There are prices to pay for everything in life that holds value to you. And balancing it all is a tough challenge! It can be tough to balance quality time in marriage when you have so many things pulling at your mind especially career/business related. So the solution should be don’t get married? Absolutely not. If you’ve found the right person, it’s work to make it work.
@@BrainWasherAttendent Every relationship has problems. Nobody is perfect, and so issues are of course going to arise. What makes a couple compatible is whether or not they can work out the issues they have and go on to be stronger and better for it, not whether they live in some sort of perfect, problem free relationship that simply doesn’t exist in a world where people aren’t perfect, and life constantly throws issues everyone’s way.
My husband has a crush on coworker who is 12 years younger than him. She sits outside his office supposedly has never talked to her but he doesn’t understand why it gives me so much anxiety he justifies it by saying he’s a heterosexual man and it’s normal
@@mirabella2154 kinda. I snooped on his computer, he was looking her up, asking chatgbt how to impress someone who studied math, saving pics of her to our computer, and friend requesting her on LinkedIn
I don't know I don't think you can say hey I love you but you need to give up your dream job I mean men need their goals man without aspirations is dead walking
@@dabd8175 what's so funny I mean I think she should just let him have his dreams it's important to him and if she loves him she should want him to achieve his goals
I feel sorry for the finance. Is this caller going to have the time and energy to participate in the relationship and run a home. The book Fair Play came to mind. Women expect men to be equal partners at home. I can’t imagine the caller able to help out with anything since the job is taking all his energy.
Equal doesn't always mean the chores are split 50-50. Equal can mean, I work 60 hours and you work 35, so you will do more chores. Equal can mean, I have cancer and you don't, so you'll have to step up more. Equal can mean, I'm off all summer, so I'll mow and do all of the chores.
