You know your current situation is questionable when you realize Matthew's videos are paying more attention to your needs than the person triggering you to watch them in the first place.
@@Berserker793 😅 as a dude my personal Experience aswell as my observation of the world (also about 20 years of seeking and being sought( or not being sought🤣)) are similar.
If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is, too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.
I had to get off of social media completely... mostly because I couldn’t break the habit of posting for attention and creative false narratives in my head. I thought why am I giving this person so much access to my life and and trying to get their attention. They have my number if they want to reach out they would have.
*You've reduced your love life to a flame emoji* 🔥This spoke to me and some of my past relationships in a way I'm too embarrassed to admit. If they want to pursue you, they will show up in a way that's not just a flame emoji.
I wouldn't even bother wondering if they are interested or not. Communication is important to me and I won't be breadcrumbed or ghosted or tolerate silent treatment and get treated like an option. So they get blocked. My peace is more important than male attention 🚫 actions speak louder than words and if someone can't even lift a finger to text or call you then they need to f*ck off. Never idealise men and just observe their actions and words are matching or not
Exactly there’s literally no excuse to not hear from someone with all the Apple watches apps etc. you can literally speak into a device and have it text it for you.
@@Berserker793 nah it’s just peace of mind because they keep texting even after you’ve told them you are not interested with their low effort. They don’t change they just keep wishing you’d fall for their laziness.
This is amazing. Matthew can read my mind. This happened to me - someone I was absolutely infatuated with who “got away” but still liked my social media and even commented and asked a question. It prompted me to send a message and remind him of how I fell for him. But after being left on read, I could not keep him added. I HAD to block him on all social media despite how much I liked him and may still have feelings. I knew “you will never get over him if you keep seeing his photos.” I’m still single so this is still hard not to “check up” on him, but I tell myself “I do not NEED to do this”. Love is so profound. I love Matthew, he’s speaking words I don’t know how to.
If they left it’s up to them to come back. If they really want you they’ll contact you. Respect yourself don’t contact them first. We don’t need a man or a woman to feel love. Love yourself first you got this I believe in you.
Really helpful one. Great reminder to not reward substandard behavior, and to practice valuing yourself. Thank you. (I'm not even dating, and am in a positive marriage, but I still love learning this stuff. Wish I knew it when I was dating!! Gah...)
Yeah I used to think a guy watching my stories or liking a pic meant he was interested but, am I interested in every guy's picture I like or everyone's story I watch? No. The desperation to find love is a whole self-perpetuating cycle, things become way clearer once you take a step back and decide you arent searching for love, you're letting love find YOU.
This is exactly what happened to me right now. I feel so stupid for feeling heartbroken :( My brain understands what Matthew says but my heart doesn't.
You have to be proactive about moving on. Moving on is a muscle 💪. Don’t expect it to just happen on its own, especially while we are still reactivating the wound by engaging with someone.
This is what I'm experiencing right now, I really needed to hear this. Realising not to read too much into such a minimal amount of attention that really doesn't take hardly any effort, i'm actually worth so much more than that. Thank you Matt x
I’m realizing that there’s just a lot of low effort, lazy and people lacking relationship skills to even bother with. Matthew is right if they aren’t engaging or sending you memes or liking pics and not getting to know you or see you, Block them!!!
Yep it's not petty to block at all. I had to block a female friend recently because she won't respond to my text but breadcrumbs me every month. I learn that you don't have to understand people game. Just block them and they get the message
@@mario125ww fr I had to do the same. She’d message me then completely ignore me but watch my stories and then message me again months later when it’s convenient for her. Lol no thanks, blocked for life 💁🏾♀️
I just soooo much needed to hear these very straight talks now 🙏 Matthew is like a male best friend I always wanted to have around when I struggle understanding a potential partner's behavior from the "other side". Thank you so much for your videos ❤️
So crazy! I literally blocked a guy last night that told me he didn’t know what he wanted in the future with us but has liked my photos the past two months. It’s given me hope which in turn has stressed me out so much, I realized I deserve so much better and stopped allowing access to me.
OK, so I'm just curious. Does a girl frequently liking my stories and posts mean she's interested in me. Bcz idk whether it's just me but I do lyk posts ( hardly stories) of girls who hve posted nice pics. Doesn't mean I'm interested in them. I'm a guy btw
@@Scopefire671sorry But I do not understand, how can you engage with some girl on social media that you do no know But have zero interest in dating her? Why do you do this? Of course if a girl likes your story she f-ing likes you…
I say. If he doesn’t want to pursue anything with me then the first thing that goes .. is social media. Before I can share my social media with a guy … I have to determine if I’ll like them enough or if we’ve passed a point where we get to know each other and I like him. If it fizzles, I block, delete, I make myself disappear from their SM. They don’t get to see what I’m up to. Not privileged to do so 😉
I’m married but I still listen to these often to know what my single friends are going through in the dating scene. Man, times are hard for dating… it’s a mental game 😟
Wow, all your comments on this channel are just about how you have a husband. Bit weird that don't you think? I suppose you have to get your fuel somewhere. He musnt be cutting it 🤷🏿♀️
@Drea the Bandalore As some who has watched Matthew Hussey since college before ever having dated, and used his teachings to work on myself and get an amazing husband… it makes me sad to see what dating has become with the surge of social media platforms and the new issues that arise because of them. I am an avid fan of Mr. Hussey post-marriage and will continue to follow his content. We should never stop working on ourselves and listening how to be better. So yea I agree with you, it is weird that I am commenting, and I like being weird. Won’t ever be normal, and it’s amazing to love oneself even being weird. 😜🤪
i only can see recent 3 and 2 mention having a husband. That said im kind of inclined to let her have her win. She won the lottery , good for her. Ok….Its a tiny bit on the insensitive side to include it that tid bit (especially in this forum), but then again its also a factual truth. In my relationships i would say my partner was the majority of himan interaction on any given day, thus only natural that they were also the brunt of the conversation partner. So most stories i told would involve some interaction with them. (In retrospect mebe too many…. mebe….) I think its absent mindedness. Mebe rose coloured glasses/happy/enthusiasm. Mebe its bad intentioned gloating. 🤷♀️ But you commenting on it atleast opens up that topic. Ideally it would have been less catty on your part Sandwich method emotional sensitivity „Im sure you dont mean harm, but some if us out here hurting/struggling/thirsting and it feels like you mentionongnit casually is rubbing your good fortune in the face of all those, that dont have it and want it. I cant be 100% for the others. But it definitely has me feeling some find of way. Your core info is still fully valid without the hubby info too, and i don’t have the feeling of being dunked on.“ But… there is also something funny about the mental image and evil chuckles at imaging the op aggressively air humping looking intensly „ you jealous? Hmmpf hmmpf! „ 😜
So true and I often need reminding of this as I always tend to make excuses for people. If they haven't reached out its because they don't want to! Sometimes we just need to hear the obvious. Must remind myself of this! Thank you
A relationship that lasts is one where people meet each others needs. Its as much give as its take. Its as much about you meeting their wants and needs as him caring about yours But hussey is correct about “giving as much as you receive”
@@Pssst.ByTheWay Of course, you're very right. I just thought that was a given. I think a lot of people that are likely to be watching this though naturally put a lot of thought and care into considering the other person's needs in the relationship because of how they're wired and perhaps need a gentle reminder that their needs are also valid.
@@Between_thelines_____270 thats a kind assumption of others. And tbh, That might well be, and it is often advised to assume the good, to prevent being overly defensive. ( wise words to thy self 😅) But realistically there will be some that are “all take and no give” And at face value your comment only addresses “take”
I deleted Instagram because I had enough of that immature app and also of some of these toxic people. My confidence is I won over them all so I ran a mile the same day.
Creating stories in our heads out of what the person does? That’s absolutely ridicu… Yeah, you’re right 😓. I’ve created (and I still do) both positive and negative stories, by the way. There are probably some aspects that might be true about those stories, but I have no way of knowing which ones. I can’t read people’s minds and most of the time I have no idea what they’re doing. And I’m also not in the position to ask.
This is why we have to look at the facts of what someone is actually giving to us/asking of us. Look for consistency of action from their side. We can’t read their minds but we can measure their actions in the cold light of day. Do they amount to anything close to being able to meet our needs?
Love that you thought to make this video. I was microdosing on someone I’ve known 10 years and he took me on a date 6 months ago. Opens my virtual cards with no response, checks out my social media. Tired of rewarding nothingness. Also I love your cuts to the Easter bunny with jazz music 🐰 hahaha 🤣
Ladies I just started blocking people this year- you may think it's harsh or too permanent, etc. But it really helped me avoid scenarios like this. If they're not on your social media and that completely deletes them from your life, then they weren't really in your life were they??
So glad I have zero social media haha. And before all the "RU-vid IS social media" comments, no it isn't. It's a video viewing platform. You don't need to make an account nor leave comments.
~Yes!~Same here!~And i get that same thing from people about RU-vid~Reading these comments has clearly shown me i do not want anything to do with 'social media'~
It means, he either searched you out and liked a photo and went about his day, or your post popped up in his feed, he liked, and still went about his day. It’s just a “like”, don’t think too deep into it.
@@catherineripchensky8668 A) get your attention and have you thinking about him B) Trying to close the distance with you but doesn't want to push it so he liked an old photo C) he just liked THAT photo and gave it a double click because, well, it was photogenic
Perfect timing that video Matt! I was just having this exact situation and i was thinking WTF!!!!!??? If he really cares he will show nobody thinks „ i like her sooooo much that i am gonna ignore her a little“, they would not risk losing you if they really cared… great video as usual ❤️ much love xx
Thank u matthew ♥️ in all my relationships when i get stuck in middle i find new video for u leading me to take right decision of move on ,cut it off coz im convinced why they been treaten me that weird, terrifying way ..that i never deserve 🙏
It is crazy the things we have to dissect when it comes to dating. We have social media now and different terms like gaslighting, ghosting, catfishing, etc. I believe when it comes to feelings that is something that no one can help, if the feelings is not mutual for the other person, it is important to distance yourself. I told a friend that I had feelings for and they did not feel the same way, I needed some time and space to get over the person, but turns out the person was hurt by the space I needed because they missed me as a friend. Finding a relationship is difficult. Someone like your post and viewing your social media can be difficult. I would mute or block the person until I am mentally strong to have this person back in my life. If you don't want the person in your life, that is okay!
I dealt with this recently. The guy ended things and never gave me a "why." We only went on one date but I felt the chemistry was good and we spoke after. He moved out of state for a job but we ended things amicably and stayed in touch every now and then. He texted me last October when he was back in town and told me he hopes to see me soon, but didn't actually follow up on that. That's the last I heard from him. He still follows me on Instagram and watches my stories often. Ladies, if this sort of thing is happening to you...move on. It's not worth your energy or your time. There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing that you did. It's his issue. He's not committing. He's playing games. You deserve someone that will reach out often and consistently, not just on his terms. Heal, live your life and grow. You will get what you truly deserve.
~ *We, especially when we like someone, have this innate urge to create story out of what they do.* Very true, Matthew. Experienced it firsthand. We tend to make up an explanation on behalf of them in order to justify what they are doing. And I realized how wrong it was.
Thank you so much! Now I understand, making stories for their attention is useless, attention for myself is more important, we don't talk for three month after we broke up, but still see stories of each other but no contact means nothing I guess
Exactly the situation I am in right now! TO THE LETTER. I got off Instagram not to be tempted to post something so that she would like it or comment. It is hard not gonna lie.
Ah, limerence. Okay kids, here’s the deal: If they have your # or email or any other way to contact you, they’d do so if they were interested. People make time and effort for what they want to make time and effort for. It’s that simple.
Something I just realized and blew my mind a bit is also that nerves is not equal to real interest in a relationship. It can just be that they’re socially awkward, that you remind them of someone from their past, that they’re afraid to become attached to you, the list goes on. Interested is what interested does.
Wait... I still don't know what to do. But he was doing this and I just deleted him from everything 2 months ago. Missing him, but questioning why I'd miss such a nob. I thought long and hard yesterday and grieved over things in my past. It's never about the guy, it's always about me and what's going on deeper down. Still miss him though... but then I think back to his behaviour and I'm like ew gross.
Remember: if they wanted to, they would take action. Don't care about the orbiting, microdosing, crumbing. Don't bother about them, they just want to play games with you
This is GOLD. This is a journey. Especially when you’ve spent years believing giving more will reward you the same energy. As if. The more I practice self-love the less I am compelled to over give and stop wearing my rose- colored glasses. The truth isn’t pretty, but in the long run, it’s my best friend. And the glasses gonna go.
Hi Sir and thanks for coming big on the subject matter .Its not about questioning ,but going out in the world and growing high and above ."It's about being the Person who was never earlier before " and not the tail end that is behind .It's falling in love with self all the time when getting up and going out . Thanks Sir with regards
You have discribed my situation in this video thank you for all your advice from your videos you've a really big help from my break up to helping me with the healing process keep up the good work Mathew and thanks again
This is a great video. One of the man that i dated, used be quiet for a week than suddnely appears with a meme video or something funny just to see my response. MY GOD! it reached to a point that i wasn't felling anything anymore.
This is one of my favourite videos of yours! It’s pretty ridiculous when our online ‘avatar’ is connecting in a way that our authentic real solid self isn’t.. I recommend your great work to my single Yoga students. Thank you for what you do for women ❤️ love Victoria 🌟xxx
It means the freaking like you but they’ve hit their ‘ vulnerability wall ‘ an invisible boundary where a dude gets uncomfortable expressing himself from that stage on…. So he’s too shy and awkward to ACTUALLY interact with you anymore directly….. 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Be brave young soldiers and lean in like a man…..
I recently went through this exact situation. I was ghosted by a girl, but she continued to view my Snapchats. Honestly, it was one of the most confusing things I had ever been through. I ended up removing her from all of my social media. Since no contact is how I deal with breakups. But it's still one of my stranger and more confusing attempts at an intimate relationship.
I kept getting pulled into a situationship precisely because of this. I wouldn’t think too much of it now a lot of social media culture is frivolous and people don’t actually think about likes and stories as actual interaction
He called me on an offline date...I knew him online..and on our first offline meeting itself he said he never wants to marry he is in an army officer his job is risky....does it mean he indirectly rejected me? Before meeting me, he had messaged me "promise me, we will alwz b good friends,no matter what happens "
its not that deep. just text the person if you want them to text you back problem solved. very easy. alot of times the man aint got nothing to say or you didnt give enough to respond back. and also alot of times the man is either busy or dont have nothing to say but the woman wants him to text her. she can initiate it herself. if you not initiating the text yourself you cant blame him. how do you want to talk to someone but you not putting in effort
It is that deep because men are natural pursuers. If they wanted a real relationship and didn’t want to lose you they wouldn’t drop the ball and disappear and maybe contact you here and there. It’s not about a text it’s about the progression of a connection and a relationship. I’m a traditionalist and I want my man to take lead. If I have to heavily pursue in the beginning it’s a big NO for me.
Well he did mention d guy has already tkn u on dates n know each other. He isn't talking about initiating texting. He is talking about least level of efforts if one s showing wht does it mean. He s talking about a person whom u r dating.
@@MsSmashone you missed the point. if you not reciprocating back he have no reason to pursue. it works both ways. unfortunately he didnt give us the context of what was going on in the text messages because thats the most important part of this.
Thank you so much for this video. It is really interesting the topic! I believe that the topic applies to more aspects of life and not just dating. Thanks again!
Oh man. Someone I was long distance dating broke it off and then ghosted me for a month. Blocked me completely. Just last week messaged me and we added eachother back on everything. He said he missed me. I cried. I had missed him too! But then after 2 days things felt wierd. He said he just wanted to be friends, that it would never work out. Why contact me in the first place to just keep me on a shelf? Am I a back up plan?? Am I a tool to pick up and use whenever I need help? I’m feeling frustrated but am horrible with healthy boundaries. Help!
Thank u for this . I had situation that my ex was watching my stories and I was just posting so he sees it, having hope he cares etc. he blocked me on everything 2 days ago and I couldn’t feel more reliefed. I think it was the best what he could do and finally time to live for yourself not waiting every day if he gonna react on my stories like it etc.
