I read comment like this to save myself from getting hurt further down the road. I met 2 guys that I like dearly. Guy A - had so much feelings toward him, broke up, no contact, he came back, I took him back but nothing changed. And seeing or talking to him seem such a hard work, as if I've to chase him to get his attention Guy B - we like each other, he calls when he's available, we talk daily, I ask him to call, he'd call, if he's not free, he'd inform me in advance. I barely feel the anxiety if he doesn't call or make me feel triggered. It feels so natural
Stop 🔥 all 🔥 contact Ladies, don't let your kind heart make excuses for his lack. Yes, we thought he could be different but incongruent words and actions are red flags even if the guy seemed like "a good guy". Geez he knows what he's doing! Say bye bye 🔥❤
I learned this, and left a relationship because I realized that I put up with shoddy behaviour, and lost self respect. I thought I was being a good girlfriend.. by taking anything that he offered, and not demanding more. I realized we both loved him, and neither one of us loved me. I didn't love myself enough to expect more.
After waiting 5 yrs being completely single . Met this guy I fell for who barely call and mostly text a couple messages 🙄 how was your day, I reply, he may text again, I reply and it's a wrap. Till couple days later. Has the nerve to mention sex. A 🕳😖 to think I cared for this fool.
Just had my heart broken and it was my own fault. Falling for someone who didn't share the same feelings. I've been slowly detaching myself from him.🙌❤️🙏
Girl...same 😢 2 yrs of fwb and I swore he'd fall for me...ya right. Now he's pulling the...'but I really care for you. You're important to me, youre my friend...I appreciate you " Ya well. . ....I need a lover and best friend.not a Buddy
Thank you Bern, I let go of a guy like this a couple of months back. I’ve been feeling down and still think about him sometimes, but I always come back to the conclusion that it was for the best. While the odds seem to be against me currently, I believe I’ll eventually meet someone who treats me right and sees my value :)
You and me both. Today I dreamt about him and my fingers have been itching to contact him, but when I think of all the bad, the good isn't strong enough to outweigh it, so I'm distracting myself with something else.
@@heatherwoodley8244 I can totally relate, agree on redirecting your energy on something else, make yourself a priority and engage in activities to keep your spirits up 😊 all the best 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
I changed my college plans, lied to my family, ruined my credit, gave up my car, and suffered abuse for this man who slept with another women before we even split up.
Thank you so much Bernardo for explaining to us the meaning of loving yourself, so many people talk about it but they don't explain what it means or give examples, I loved your video, I was in a relationship like with someone who didn't value me, women mistakenly sit and wait hoping for things to change, but once a guy puts you in the 'sex friend ' category, he will not change his mind, the only way to make him value you is to walk away, my ❤goes out to all women going through this , it's devastating to our self esteem 😢
Thank you for reminding me not to lose myself in his world again.I recently reconnected with my boyfriend of 6years and once again I let myself go into his world,and be his option…I need to Love myself madly again and let him be my option😡😡
Omg you made me cry halfway through. Right when you said the word "punch". Fuck Honestly all the points you made are so great and encouraging. I'm going to add something...with all do respect... this video has encouraged me to also start therapy finally. I can only help but to ask myself as you spoke "why do you allow yourself to be treated this way, what is the root cause?" This goes deeper. And I'm so so so grateful for you making this video. This cleared it up for me....I will never be haply with the man of my dreams or better yet MEET the man of my dreams because I'm not valuing myself enough and I'm allowing men to treat me less. Determined to end the subconscious self sabotage. 💪 thank you once again Disclaimer: I witnessed my mother get beaten and controlled by a narcissist growing up. I thought I was better than her cause no man has ever had the opportunity to do it to me. But I have failed to see that just cause they dony hit me doesn't mean they are good enough for me. I need to require more.
The problem is that I feel it's my fault that he doesn't invest in me, its always lingering in the back of my head that I could have done something differently
@Bernardo Mendez 2 month update..he was hot & cold because he was still talking to his ex. And they are back together now. Ladies-- the minute a man starts acting this way, RUN! 🤷♀️👍
@@carissateixeira2028 That was over a year ago. Common sense kicked in. If a man is hot+cold with me. It means he simply doesn't want me. Time to move on. I'll never tolerate that again!
I HATE HIM! Because he asked me what was the most surprising thing I think happened after 3 Months of seeing each other and I answered him, then I asked if he wanted to stop or keep moving forward, he said he wanted to keep moving forward with me, and see what would our relationship be, then a month later, he showed his true feelings. He was not ready for me! He lied to me!!!! I hate him for wasting my time!
Hi Donice, perhaps consider that he may have thought he was able to do it and found out he wasn't. It's possible this wasn't a plan to hurt you but a mistake...
Currently going through a difficult time with an avoidant man. He needed space so I’ve stepped away and I’m currently doing my own thing. Hurts like hell but I know it will fade as time passes. He can’t afford me anymore because I’m worth more than he can offer me in terms of emotional connection. I know this but I’d forgotten and I’m having a hard time believing it again.
Bernardo, your comment about setting boundaries was spot on. I have recently learned this and am implementing. Also loved your metaphor about the amount of investment or lack thereof, and realizing that is a clear message from him. I want to adopt you as my older brother!!!
Thank you so much Bernardo!! You speak so much of exactly what I feel and the exact relationship that I've been in but just ended. I know it's for the best and I deserve better, but it still hurts like hell.
Thank you Bern, watched this video more than once.... and I did it. I finally detached on Thursday 8 June. Feeling so much better about myself. He tried a "spontaneous Saturday" invite just before 7pm and I ignored his 3 texts🎉😅
I nearly cried! The worst part is sex for days then literally no contact for days later it’s so painful 😥 the days with no contact at all even though he says it’s his introversion I’m not sure I can actually do it anymore.
He's the only one im comfortable seeing me cry. Theres a lot of shit going on and sometimes i just want a shoulder to cry, a shoulder im comfortable with. It's just sucks so much. I've been strong on my own for 2 months now.
Thank you for this. Just got out of my first relationship & learned a lot. I thought I knew all this but when you fall in love for the first time you forget and get caught up in emotion. I would always communicate and ask for the same things and it was a very triggering relationship overall that made me be this demanding girlfriend I didn’t wanna ever be.
15 days no contact on determined I am gonna be moving up to where he lives we live a couple hours away from each other but it's because of my job nothing to do with him I'm hoping I run into him He says he was not ready for a relationship just ended up very bad one so I lovingly let him go I was that early heartbroken but I didn't deserve The bread crumbs he was throwing me he said he needed to be alone to figure things out I told him to seek God and get right I still pray for him and if it's meant to be it's meant to be but I will not tolerate anything less than a 100%
I just want you to know I'm a widow I was married 27 years he passed away 2 years ago I'm 54 and this guy Dels 59 and hes been through one bad relationship The last one stole from him I said Dell don't ever say you had bad luck with women because God brought you a Christian woman in your life who was married 27yrs till he passed and you decided to put me away that being said I wish you all the happiness and really hope to see you again one day
I do everything for the wrong men. If I found the right man, they have no idea how much love, respect and spoiling they’d receive. I’ve been waiting a lifetime for him. 😢
Thank you for making this video in a non judgmental way. I would do what I can to see other guys despite my feelings being too set on one person. It's been years and it would be nice for someone else to steal my heart even though it was emotionally harmful secretly loving him.
Thank you for the informations ..May God bless you always for these helpful videos.I'm in this really so low sad moments as of this time.Your video is a helpful one.
Hi Bern! Thank you so much for the content you keep creating which always hits the mark. I see your channel is growing and I hope more women find you and your channel continues to blow up. You’re such a light! Sígue adelante!
I always initiate🙄😫he says we can only be friends & all I wanted is to get to know him better & have fun. I said i don’t have any expectations at all. But maybe in God’s perfect time we can get together if he wants to. He wasn’t playing games but was honest about where he’s at in life
I understand, the key here is to be honest with yourself and clarify if you really don't have any expectations or if you're just saying that so that he continues connecting with you.
He left me feeling like a deer that's been gutted. I believed all his lies. He still won't tell the truth about his fiancee. It's all about what the man wants. They never care how badly they hurt good women
Wow ! This guy come off strong we were intimate , making plans one night I got emotional about some stress and he told me I'm pissing him off .After that he began avoiding Me and said he is not ready for commitment .came when he wanted and left when he wanted .today I'm going no contact hopefully I'll start thinking right
What’s unfortunate is that when I try to have discussions with him to resolve issues in our relationship, he gets defensive, talks over me, and then tells me that I just want him to be perfect or that I have high standards. If my standards were high and if I wanted him to be perfect I would have NEVER chosen him. Every conversation is challenging with him for no reason. He thinks that bickering for the sake of bickering is fun when I’ve told him that it’s not fun for me. We can have fun conversations without bickering. He’s the only person in my life that I literally cannot have a simple conversation without it leading into some argument. And I guess I’m just done.
I'm beautiful, intelligent, own my own home, got my degrees, loving, open and don't owe any mortgage or student loans at 36. And he's been doing this to me for 4 years.. It feels awful.
My heart isn't breaking. We aren't that close. I find myself frustrated by the hot/cold casual attitude. It's ok. I'm better with a trajectory that builds
Soon as i said I'm willing to let this go, he said I want the power, it's my life i don't need you i want you and if i can't have this with you I'm out.
Bern, I just found your channel today. And it is right on time. I recently met someone and starting talking. Our first phone conversation was 2 and half hours... I rarely talk to my friends for that long on the phone. We met for lunch and then we saw each other again. We did not have sex, but there was "fooling around"...( I know it was too early for this, but it's kind of an issue I've had and still trying to correct) It had been 3 weeks and he kept saying we would get together again for dinner and it just never happened. So I took a step and asked if he wanted to meet for lunch the coming Saturday and his answer so noncommittal. He said he was terrible at making plans, like what kind of answer is that. Yet he was telling me he wanted to see me, couldn't wait to be with me again, but his words weren't matching his actions. So I told him that it didn't seem like he was really wanting to see me again or really get to know me.... and I basically ended it. But I felt like I did something wrong and it bothered me for days..... but I kept telling myself...his actions didn't match his words. He didn't make the effort to see me.....but I still felt less than for actually standing up and asking for what I wanted. I'm in therapy dealing with abandonment issues because in reality, we didn't even know each other that long..... but I thought we really connected...... Oh well, I'm working on having more boundaries and actually sticking to them.
What if the person is your husband and there are kids involved? He has cheated so many times, will tell me he doesn’t love me, and every time he comes back, I take him back 😞
Ruth, I'd say you need a support system around you that can help you get stronger to be able to make better decisions for you and your kids. It's not easy but it's doable. If you have the funds, please find a good therapist who can help you if you don't have funds, then please go to (in person or online) co-dependent anonymous meetings. Hope this helps and my heart is with you as you navigate this very difficult situation. It may seem like there's no end in sight, but I promise if you get help, there is.
I swear to Yall, I didn't love myself,i still struggle, so when he found me, it reaked off me I'm sure looking back.i was young, I thought I could throw on some cute shorts and make up smile act happy and he wldnt know. Well, 6 years later- I realized how obvious I was... Had I loved myself, I'd never off or myself in a position to allow such"love" to blind me, so bad Idc what or if your religious or spiritual- the Bible has been around for ever So it must know a thing or two You get drug down through there hard enough, that you'll go searching for god trust me Anyway, it says not to put faith into man rather into god.. bc man will let you down.. every.. single... time Pray up family
In LDR, how long is it considered “healthy” to wait on meeting your partner and when is too long, when it starts feeling toxic or what? Yes I’ve been filling in the blanks with my imagination and it’s constructing a picture of him that is not accurate
Just want I needed to hear, non live in boyfriend- I'm apparently not his type physically, nothing ever happens of late, every other guy who falls short severely or is dangerous- on my damn ass...over it. Going to move areas and change number, ect..
Yep seems like not meant to be ! I have no romantic interest in the nice guys ; the non nice guys always have the best conversation ..not sure what alternative is
