It’s painful to be lonely, wanting to have more social interaction, but at the same time wanting to escape from people and be alone because interacting is exhausting.
that's exactly how I feel. I usually fill the emptiness with t.v shows and imagine the characters were real and live life through them. it's pretty Sad and pathetic but it's all I know.
I've been noticing that when I am in a conversation, my stream of thoughts is stuck around being nervous about what to say and how to say that detaches itself from the steam of thoughts of the people in the real conversation
Yes, here you are in what Kahneman labels system 2 thinking, where the brain is operating self consciously in a very slow deliberate way. This is useful when seeking solutions to problems or in ‘fear’ situations where we need to be hyper careful. However to enter the flow of conversation one needs to let go into faster intuitive (seemingly spontaneous) action/behaviour/thinking. We do this when we feel safe. One of my techniques is to imagine that strangers are actually family members I have not met before, or old friends who I have forgotten.
I think social anxiety causes this, and then when we feel awkward because our brain is thinking of what to day and we feel insecure about it, it causes the anxiety to increase, and this increase causes further blocking in the brain that prevents us being to freely converse the way we want to be able to.
That’s why I struggled making friends growing up. Was pretty sheltered and only got into things I was interested or what I was comfortable with or allowed to indulge in. Couldn’t talk about music, books, celebs, movie etc with other children. Now as an adult even if I’m not into something I can still talk about it. As I get older I come to terms that the more my mind expands the more I have to share with others. I’m still expanding. I’m only 23.
This is spot on, i use to be extremely awkward and thought id never grow. The key is to get out there, learn different things vary your taste. Taking up art def helped me out, but time and experience is crucial. And never stop learning/exploring
Try setting a goal of learning something from every conversation. Start with open, general questions to warm things up then if there is time get more specific. Genuinely try to learn something from the other person rather than trying to construct a back and forth exchange.
I need to remember to be curious because my mind seems to be hardwired to be superficial and bored (maybe I have ADHD lol) but at the same time I know that you can love anyone if you get to know them.
I used to be so shy before I started nursing, but this occupation opened my eyes to the world. I could even talk to older people. I love listening to a person talk about themselves & really listen- rather than putting my own 2 cents worth all the time. I have to catch myself when I want to interrupt or prejudge what they say.
I have ADHD and am constantly thinking of a dozen things at once, so it's not that I necessarily have a lack of interesting thoughts to share - it's that I get easily sidetracked and forget what I wanted to say! I genuinely wish I had a nickel for everytime I lost my train of thought mid-sentence or simply could NOT recall a word I've used hundreds of times, it's embarrassing and it sucks! 😭
Ya I get that sometimes, I cut people off to get my words out before I forget them. I also find my brain is in turbo drive and I have to smoke a lot of weed to slow my brain down. Which gives me social anxiety and I don't want to go anywhere.
No worries, what you have is called "HIGH IQ" ! Dont mean to sound like a braggard, but yeah, my hubby, son, and I have it😁😉 Too much stuff in our nuggin', too fast way of thinking, polyglots, what can I say? It's hard, but with right kinda people to surround ourselves with, and a great sense of humor, we're thriving!
I have this problem too but I know a solution that maybe not to your liking. It's reading books, and I mean read HARD books. When I first read philosophy books, I was always had trouble following what it said. But gradually, because in philosophy you need coherence and clarity, I trained myself to memorize and kept getting better. Now I have a slight problem with this, maybe a few occurrences that happened but they are a minimum
As a senior, I now have conversation problems because the things that used to occupy my life are past, work, children, horses, even many family and friends no longer take up daily life. I no longer trust the news so that is not an option, based on your advice I will explore other things to read about that will give me something to talk about.
I can identify with what you are saying. I retired slightly more than a year ago. That's when I realised that work often monopolised my conversation with others and others, probably picking that cue would bring up work when we happen to meet. Now that that is gone, conversation topics kind of dry up. So apart from reading, I've taken to doing things...anything, nevermind if it sounds ridiculous or like a silly whim. Among these are starting a little cricket farm for my neighbour's pet and latest.... reading and planning for a long long walk called the Camino. Whether I walk it or not is immaterial. It's interesting to see what other people are passionate about and life on the other side of the globe. ( And also talking to someone on youtube comments, haha) Wishing you all the best Sammie
My life's motto: "learn something new and worth sharing daily." I read and write daily. When I'm speaking with people, I have lots of things to talk about, but many of them are not reciprocating. Am I the boring one? What is there to say about a person that doesn't reciprocate? Isn't that person boring? I'm doing the talking but most people never ask basic questions. Rare is the interesting one. :) The sad part is that I thought I was the problem, and not the other one.
You need to let them talk, ask questions to ascertain their topics of interest, to find out what they want / can talk about. It's a two way street, it's not all about you. When I listen to someone that makes me drink from the firehouse, I get bored. It's really about searching for ENGAGEMENT, not about impressing people with all that you know.
Sometimes the obvious answer is the correct answer. But I also tell you how to be interesting: by consuming large amounts of high-quality culture, meaning books, newspapers, movies, poems, art, literature, magazines, etc. That’s how you become interesting. If you don’t do the work, you won’t get the outcome
@@penelopepittstopP if you learn about ADHD people and you'll understand why some people are bored without being boring. If you think ADHD is an attention issue, then you have never truly known a person who has ADHD. Isn't that odd that the name is so misleading?
Respectfully, it seems to be a bit like people pleasing and slightly disingenuous to consume large amounts of "interesting" information strictly for the purpose of being interesting to other people. It also assumes that a person is a good judge as to what other people might find interesting. That being said, I am probably one of the worst conversationalists imaginable. 🤣
I used to be really good at communication but I went down the partying route and once I got back to my clean self, no weed etc, I had a really hard time connecting with ppl and having my old social decorum… basically having social anxiety and feeling like I didn’t have anything interesting to contribute bc I didn’t trust in my processing speed and facial expressions. I feel that I’m better now but I still have this sky energy even tho I’m normally a personable and friendly person. Anyway, thanks for the tips!
Although I completely agree with the author It's also important to remember that it takes two to tango. Sometimes it is not your fault that the conversation isn't taking off, you may throw in things that you deem interesting and worth discussing but the other party is lacking knowledge/interest/willingness to make an effort to keep the conversation flowing That of course does not mean that you don't have to work to improve yourself
I've noticed that with some people -- who are more open, and who seem to want the conversation to be enjoyable -- that conversations feel natural and easy. With other people, they seem to be uninterested in the conversation with me going well; as I'd they had already judged me to not be worth their time, or that they just don't want to have a conversation or meet someone new, though they find themselves in just that position. I think your conversation partner's attitude toward you, or openness to initiating conversation with a new partner, that largely makes conversation feel successful or not.
Hard to do with ADHD and depression. The latter, diminishes your recall of "happy" things that would make a conversation flow. I've had other people in social situations tell stories of interesting experiences identical to mine, yet they were the ones telling them first and getting positive vibes. Whereas I was standing by the side thinking why I didn't even think of recalling a similar story. If you can't flourish in a social situation like that you've probably got a lot of self-work and self-love to unravel.
I think what he missed here is the ability to embellish stories and make them exciting. You and another person could have done the exact same thing and had the same experience but if they are better at telling the story they will captivate the audience better than you. I can’t really tell you how to do this as there are many different variables but I’d suggest just watching good story tellers and analyzing what they say, what they emphasize, and how they discuss the details. It won’t simply come to you if you want it you have to learn how to do it.
@@liamnacinovich8232 I agree. Some stand-up comedians are great at telling stories. They already know the punchline and the stops along the way and often start out with something that catches one's attention. I'm not saying we need to be funny, just have the story prepared - even if that's just knowing what the destination is.
@@liamnacinovich8232 I think one of the universal keys to telling an engaging story is not getting hung up on details. Some of us have a hard time doing this, but about the best way to kill a good story is to stop and go, "Oh, how many days ago was that?" or "What was his name?" etc. When you learn how to gloss over forgotten details and quickly move on, stories will flow better.
@@ShalomSimplified ', but about the best way to kill a good story is to stop and go, "Oh, how many days ago was that?" or "What was his name?" Your example doesn't make sense cos why would somebody ask a question the other person wouldn't know the answer to
@@KlutzyBoss You've misunderstood. The storyteller is asking themselves those questions out loud. They forget details like dates and names and stop and try to remember them, which interrupts the flow of the story. If you do this enough times, others lose interest in the story.
I struggle to find things to talk about. I don’t want to talk about myself but on the other hand when I start asking other people about themselves it sometimes seems like an interrogation. The gift for gab is definitely not one of my many blessings. I seem to do best when I am a relative expert on a subject and convey that information to others. Free writing sounds like a good idea. Thanks for the video.
Hello! 👍🏻😊. Thank you very much for these videos! I’ve been self employed working from home for almost 20 years and my conversation skills are almost Zero. I have things to say or contribute to the conversation but when I start to speak and the people I’m with turn to me and listen I suddenly can’t form a sentence or freeze or can’t remember what things are called and can’t unravel the thought into a sentence. I think my thoughts are more visualizations + feelings, and putting that into a sentence is apparently difficult. 😅. Like sentences are an orderly progression of a thought, when what I have in my head is the entire picture including how it feels - never mind trying to come up with a topic! So I’m trying to say thank you for caring to talk about these things. 🙏🏻 I’m glad I found your channel.
@VeronicaMist it is funny. Because I too was self-employed, an only child, and I am just now working with other people as my official career! It is really showing just how awkward I am. 😰
Wow this one really hit the mark. I was expecting another top 5 questions to ask, but in reality even if you were to memorise them, you will likely sound out of place or in a way it sounds like an interrogation, or a job interview. Below are Top 10 Key take always in a Too Long, You Will Read Anyway format: 1. To be interesting in a conversation you need to have interesting thoughts. 2. To have interesting thoughts, you need to lead an interesting life. Read books, news, art, stay current with events, watch movies, talk to cab drivers, go out there and do things. It provides content to say later in a conversation. People usually talk about their experiences, things they read, watched, heard or done. 3. If all you do is sit at home and browse Instagram, memes, play games etc, don’t expect to be able to have great conversation skills (unless it’s about the games). Bring variety to your life and you’ll never run out of things to say. 4. You have an infinite stream of thoughts in your head so in theory, you ALWAYS have things to say. 5. To learn how to tap into your thoughts, practice free writing. Write anything you’re thinking with no filters for 1, 5, 15 mins. Do it for few weeks. It teaches you how to consciously access your thoughts at will. (Make sure you shred the paper later…). Eventually you won’t need it anymore and you’ll be able to tap into your thoughts anytime and anywhere. 6. Ask open ended questions about people, and then follow up questions. Where are they from, how do they like their job, how is their country back home etc. Be curious. 7. Conversion is a skill like any other, it can be learnt but you need to practice. The more you do, the better you will be. 7a. Talk to taxi drivers. It’s great free practice. Learn some facts about the world so you can relate to with an interesting fact and ask follow up questions. 9. Subscribe to this channel for some great advice in the ocean of click baiting nothingness on RU-vid ( “Learn how to be great speaker in 10min!”). This one is bonus point from me….
You’d be a great flight attendant. I love that i get to meet 300 new friends every day. During boarding, i just talk to people about their lives. People love telling me about themselves, but you have to ask them.
Thanks for this video. The advice about consuming interesting things makes a lot of sense. If someone talks about something I'm really into, that will trigger something I can contribute. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen a lot and I feel I can only talk freely/comfortable about very few things (video games, some TV shows, college admissions for high schoolers, self improvement, and maybe computer science & programming). So I'm aware that knowing a wide range of topics helps but I'm not sure which topics I should look into to improve my general knowledge base. I've browsed through netflix to find documentaries but only a few interest me. I know there are a lot of educational youtube channels but I'm having a difficult time finding content that would make me want to learn more. Recently, I've been trying to make a habit of reading more fiction, self-help books, and the news so I guess I have that going.
Don't you ever just get curious about other people's lives? Let that be the catalyst for talking. Maybe in the beginning just make it a script that runs through every conversation and maybe eventually that will be the seed to cultivate a real curiosity about other people and longer conversations.
Ask them about themselves or follow a popular tv show like “love island” or the news then the probability that someone will also be interested in talking about that subject matter it is higher.
Learn about health and fitness, diet and exercise. Start traveling and talk about your favorite places. Learn an instrument, learn more about your favorite bands or artists. Learn about mental health. Learn about history, war, ancient times, culture, revolutionary discoveries. Learn about things scientists are studying and trying to create for the future. Learn about nature, learn about 3rd world countries, learn about finances, real estate, the stock market, politics, religion. Pay more attention to people in conversation and what they do and look into those things. So the next time you see them you can say “hey I was looking into ____, I thought it was really cool….” And there you go great conversation starter. Do more things, don’t do the same thing you always do every single day. Crest new memories for yourself that are worth sharing. The more you do, the more you have to talk about. Also, talk to more people, even if you’re not good at it. You’re giving yourself more practice as well as absorbing new ideas of what you could do or learn about and then talk about in conversation.
Here’s a few interesting RU-vid channels Joe Scott Vsauce Mr.Ballen Thoughty2 You can always bring up something to talk about from these guys. “Oh my gosh I saw this video and it was the craziest story…”
Learn from one connection and bring up what you learned in the subsequent connections. I’ve been building a network marketing business for years and always have things to talk about because of all the wonderful people I’ve learned from.
Hello! Your speech is so relatable. Simple, usable, everyday language. I remember being a pre-teen and feeling awkward, not knowing how to talk to boys. My mother was being helpful, when I asked her about it, but she uttered the same vague, general platitudes mentioned earlier, trying to be helpful, but saying the safe, tried & true phrases like "Just be yourself, honey!". Sweet and loving, but too vague to help me in my situation especially at that undeveloped awkward stage in my life. I needed specifics. I needed phrases, sentences word for word, that I could apply and then sort of flesh-out on my own, maybe practice before my first boy-girl party. How I wish something like this had been around back then! Certainly would have added to my confidence, and we all know how much confidence matters in trying to interact with people. But, actually, life is a lot like your first boy-girl party over and over again, when you think about it.🙂 A new job meeting all new co-workers, moving to a new city and getting to know your new neighbors, people at the corner coffee shop, any new college, and so on. The life stuff anyone comes up against throughout their daily life. This was, I think, very simple, ordinary, and everyday useful. Liked it very much.
Just wanted to say I think you're content is great and that you are communicating it in such a way that I think I may learn something that helps me actually so keep up the good work I think what you're doing is helpful
Thanks, for the video. I appreciate the logic you put forth. There are no short cuts. I found myself rolling my eyes as I heard your video, as I told myself, duh of course, and repeated "you have to think about interesting things and then you will be able to talk about interesting things" thanks again for reminding me.
Really enjoyed your talk. I was surprised myself to be so engaged it felt like I was in a conversation with you. I’ll try freewriting as a way to practice getting my thoughts out to words. The hardest part for me when I meet a stranger is that I feel I have TOO much thoughts in my head and it’s like tv static in my brain.
When I was younger, I loved reading and I had a ton of things that I read/knew about... I guess I was just in the wrong company because nobody seemed interested in what I tried to talk about. Now I am a mom and the only thing I have to talk about is poopy diapers, peekaboo, how to count to five... reading any book that has enough words to form two paragraphs is a mental marathon for me.
I can relate. I used to work in IT and no one where I worked was interested in the arts or social issues, two passions of mine. They looooved talking about football though - at length. I would try to take a polite interest, but gee it felt lonely and tedious at times. I’d end up learning heaps about their lives but they’d know little about mine because they just weren’t interested in what I was and I became self conscious about talking about it as a result.
I found watching alot of funny stuff like standup comedians and funny movies/tv shows also helps with making some jokes at conversations. I learned the hard way though that one needs to be carefull when it comes to sarcastic humor because not everywhone grasps it 😊 good video 👍
wow, i've been isolating a lot of years now, had hallucinations and auditory hallucinations ( hearing voices) since 3 years, now i met this wonderful girl and i really want to be the way i was, ive just tried free writing and its been soooo awesome man thank you so much, i went into freewriting as i was listening that video, thinking i have a long way to go, but all of a sudden i created a very interesting text
This was helpful! I made a list of my interests, but I think I struggle to find people who share those interests. I'm thinking about how I can broaden my interests. You've given me a lit to think about. Thank you!
I come from a non talking dysfunctional set up. But my saving grace was my big curiosity from age 2 and visiting all the tenants' in the house I lived in. There was never a dull moment learning about people and diversity. It was such a big buz for my lively child mind, I'm often aware my throw away remarks often make people laugh and brightens their day! luv n light x PS your vids rock!
I heard once “ if you want to be interesting be interested. “ He’s also saying live a full life to have interesting things to say. This is probably one reason why parents with young kids might not be interesting. They only talk about there kids bc that’s what they so much time thinking about nothing else.
Thank you for the reminder that in conversation we try to convey our thoughts. For some reason I’m a person who keeps suppressing my own thoughts from my own self.
As an immigrant, almost every new person you meet asks you where you're from, how long you've been in the US, how often you go back home, how much family do you have in the US and how much abroad, etc. Especially if you're in a service type occupation like a cab driver or waitress. You start your day friendly and polite but at some point you break and become irritable and resentful after the 12th person that day asks you the same set of questions. It will wear anyone out. It's invasive. A person who asks you about literally anything else is a breath of fresh air. And the dynamic changes completely when you are the paying customer/ principal. No invasive questions when you’re a customer at a restaurant or doctor or bank or you’re buying or selling real estate. Please talk to your immigrants like normal people with lives. Ask immigrant-y stuff later after you know them a bit better, please. Thank you.
Oh no! I've done this a lot to cab drivers. Omg and I thought I was being friendly and truly interested. I never thought other people did the same thing.
This can apply to people who might fit any stereotypes. I'm tall and black and people always ask me if I play basketball 😒 like bruh how unimaginative are you lol. If I met an immigrant like yourself, I would ask what is something about the US that you dislike or like compared to your homeland and it could lead to a conversation about cultural ideas rather than personal relationships and such, which I personally find to be more meaningful and engaging. Key takeaway from this comment is to be unique in how you approach social situations. Peace!
@@HowCommunicationWorks I do like to guess where someone is from though, but I do the same with people in the states by guessing which state by their accent. I rarely miss with Michiganders and Pittsburghers.
I am with you on that. I have learnt to take control of the interaction from the start by throwing in a comment about stuff that ordinary folks would be interested in on that day: the weather, some news item or anything seasonal. If you present yourself as similar in your interests to your interlocutor, they will usually treat you like any other human being. Big hugs 🤗
I like this guy a lot. I don't know his name, but I think he'd be an amazing person to have as a friend. I don't know if I would describe him as "eloquent", but I would say he's highly articulate and fascinating to listen to. When I think of "eloquent" I think of someone like MLK, or RFK, or JFK -- someone who's brilliant at formal speeches.
I think my genuine love for people, my desire to understand everyone, and my overall inquisitiveness help me to never struggle with this issue. I never run out of things to say. I just don’t feel like talking if I’m not vibing with the person I’m talking with. I don’t want to force it if I’m not feeling it.
I'm sorry your livestream was lonely! So I'll say 'hello', albeit 4 years late! Not sure why the algorithm showed me this but I'm pleased it did! Definitely seen the input/output correlation first hand. Deteriorated noticeably since living alone & going out less. Thank you for a thought-provoking video!
I am new to your videos - loving your content - very relevant and useful after being in covid isolation for two + years, l feel like I’m learning to be a social being all over again - lots of helpful tips and things to think about in your offering - thanks very much.x
Much appreciation for your ideas here. I have always been interested in learning about others and their life experiences, to hear world view, and why they think and behave the way they do. I feel humbled every time. I love to learn from different perspectives. There are endless topics to talk about. Sensitivity is essential. Tuning in intuitively, heart-centered, and being unassuming are vital to connection.
Excellent advice, I’ve learned a lot from watching and listening to your video. I am now going to make a real conscious effort to read a lot more interesting content/literature/poetry, and practice free writing a lot more than I do currently. Hello from the UK, and thank you 🙏
Yes, I would definitely recommend that for anyone. Emulate the writers, speakers, artists that you greatly admire. You'll subconsciously learn their speech patterns. If you do that for a number of people, you'll have an amalgamation, and eventually develop your own style.
Thank you for this insightful video. Your advice to practice free writing to help you listen to your own thoughts makes me realize that I tend to judge and repress my own thoughts and feelings. I marvel at how some people can tell interesting, entertaining stories about simple everyday experiences, whereas I tend to judge my own thoughts and experiences as not being interesting enough to share.
You mentioned being interested in working with people who have chronic illnesses. Most people when they ask how you are don't really want to know, so it's polite to just say 'hanging in there' on a bad day and ask how they're doing and go into a happier subject unless it's a doctor's appointment. Then it is a good idea to lay it out there. In a social situation if a person is in between jobs (or worse yet for introductions...on disability) and doesn't have a family, how does a person respond to questions because those are the first questions people ask and it seems to make people feel awkward when they can't relate to that and they feel there is even less in common. What are the options?
Thank you for your videos! You've given me some ideas on what to focus on and put into practice. The most important one for me may be to do more free writing, as I often feel like I struggle to form sentences in conversation because of nervousness and lack of practice. Reading more and doing more memorization of poetry, and making sure to get out and not only experience things but try to put it into words for myself may help me be a more comfortable conversationalist. I'm glad I found your videos today!
I'm an introvert and what I've learned is not that I don't like being around people but that most people bore me to the point that I can barely stand it. I mean, I actually start to feel physically uncomfortable from having to pay attention to empty conversation when all I can think about is how I'd rather be doing something else. Let me tell you, the yearly Christmas get together is absolutely draining. So many people are all sports scores and weather forecasts and gossip as if their heads were broadcasting the local news. I just can't handle that. I need depth in a conversation, philosophy, ideas, concepts, theories. I don't find many people who can do that, who can keep you up until three in the morning with endless, interesting discussion. As an aside, I've also noticed that the people who talk the most say the least. And they never shut up.
I used to be gregarious and read a lot. Travelled, had a fair circle of friends. People thought I was handsome and I had no idea how much privilege that got me. I got away with being quite individualistic and kind of weird because of it. Then I started getting old and not so hot. I'd shut myself away and lost my social skills by then. People glaze over or won't listen. If I try to read a book now, my brain gets very sleepy. Not sure what to do, but at least I had a life once. I also have my main passion in life... my subject and craft to keep me going. It's the social interaction of selling yourself to make a living at it though... that's hard now.. after many quick years of self isolation. Not sure I have the energy to recover
This is all stuff that I do, especially with cab drivers., Uber drivers, you can bring up conversation based on the music they're playing, or what is hanging in their car, etc...
I agree with this. Good conversations are exchanges of information on a topic both parties are interested in. We share what we know and ask each other questions. The result is we both come out more knowledgeable. Some basic universal topics anyone can talk about can lead to good conversations, and you mentioned them all. Family, dreams/hopes, work, movies, etc. 👍
There are some people who I can listen to for hours; there are others who just aren’t interesting. When all else fails, ask people about themselves: most will be able to direct the conversation to something that interests them. Active listening can be hard when the other person is boring, but its good practice.
In hearing this, it sounds like it’s beneficial to have general knowledge. Immersing in things that interest others. Learning a lot about niche things may only beneficial in those circles. Otherwise folks’ eyes will glaze over.
What a fun and engaging class would be to learn literature through songs from the song writers you mentioned. Most people love singing, listening, memorizing, analyzing, free writing etc.
You can only speak the thoughts currently in your head. If your thoughts are mostly about your anxiety, ie, am I boring, is he focusing on my physical appearance, does he see me as unsuccessful, etc , you will have nothing to speak about but your state of anxiety, which will manifest as 'nothing'. The old adage 'be yourself', allows you to accept, appreciate, 'own' your flaws as well as your strengths so that your mind is free to explore other, more interesting, thoughts and contribute to the conversation. Another thing is, if you are not knowledgeable enough to talk about a certain subject, then don't be afraid to redirect the topic to one that you are more familiar with. Of course it has to relate to the current discussion to avoid sounding awkward. Ask yourself, what does this topic remind me of, and then change the direction of the discussion.
it makes sense that one can never get into the stream of conscious when only wanting to be fake and superficial which makes so hard to come up with new but relevant thoughts that adds to a conversation he/she is having.
Growing up in Chicago and now living in the rural south, I have very little to talk about with the locals. They are all about fishing, hunting, church and the fact that I am a yankee. I have become very isolated.
New sub. What about getting value from a conversation for yourself, and how to learn to steer conversation so as to prevent someone from monopolizing the conversation about topics uninteresting to you. Like someone who talks incessantly about thier job, or kids, etc. and do so without breaking social behaviour norms. Or is this a time where doing so is acceptable - 2nd question, are there times. That could be fun to try out.
Very helpful! Thank you for opening my eyes. I'll start reading more books that are educational rather than light novels. I'm not saying they are "less than", just not as helpful in conversation.
Can you imagine being an Uber driver who is asked these same “who, what, when, where, how” questions 20 times a day? In cases you were wondering, that’s what the ear buds are for. Nothing wrong with riding in silence. They enjoy that most.
When trying to improve your general knowledge base and trying to have interesting things to say, how do you determine what to read/watch/learn about without feeling bored or pressurized?
My RU-vid addiction has solved this problem for me🤡 I go from old dead Hollywood stars, how to clean your mattress, the multiverse theory and then for some odd reason at night, videos on mummies. I’ve even watched a man make a mud house barefoot. I don’t recommend spending hours of RU-vid but I’ve learned a lot of many things and topics.
I love talking about the weather, just the weather. I used to talk about elections and vaccines, forget that. Now it's just about the weather. It was hot today, huh.
I watched a few of your videos, they are pretty informative, this one rolled in on the back of those. TBH talking to people is not a big issue for me, definitely not "being too superficial", I'm more at the other end of that spectrum. Honestly though, the video is confusing, it's contradicted (listen to Bob Dylan, read plays and poetry, watch the news...). Express your thoughts, edit yourself, think about something interesting... honestly, what is interesting? I love talking to people but most people don't want to hear about things I think are truly interesting (how did eukaryotes evolve anyway? Is dark matter real or is it a misconceived theory?) I'm guessing most people would prefer to discuss whatever has recently been in news media recently, but to me that is not only completely unknown, it's also totally uninteresting. Interest is about as subjective as it gets.
those seem like pretty unique interests. would it be boring if someone were to ask how your fascination came about since it wouldn't be on the actual subjects? it may be difficult to find someone irl with the same lvl of knowledge to have such conversations without it becoming one sided
@@gordo6908 those are just examples, (but you are right, basically no one wants to have those type of conversations). For example I'm interested in living things, and how things are similar and different (taxonomy). The essential difference between complex and simple life forms is the type of cells they have (complex life forms, like us, have eukaryotic cells, large, complex cells. These came into being from much, much more small and simple cells, prokaryotic cells, such as bacteria and archaea.) The links are quite tenuous though, so lots of information is missing. I guess I like mysteries....
I use questions - if I can't think of anything to say, I ask questions. I listen to the answers too! They don't have to be big questions either. If there's food around I make a remark about what the food is and then ask them what kind of food they like. If there's music, I ask them what kind of music they like.
You can't use "meaningful" conversation card with certain community, especially to some stay home mums in Japan, some people gets agitated or intimidated if you asked them about their hobbies or dreams (I've personally came across this one quite a few times).
Being genuinely interested in people, bruh FUCK yeah. I’m on the verge of crying because that’s so impactful and I want to be like that. A social skills master
Meditating is very challenging. Best not to try to STOP thoughts, but just be AWARE of having them. Eventually, you may realize they are just a distraction from the oresent moment, which is the true reality. The past doesn't exist, the future hasn't happened yet. "The Power Of Now", E. Tolle
"You just slink away into the darkness feeling very embarrassed and ashamed and like you did something wrong..." Sounds like you already know me pretty well.
I really wish I heard this at the before my last relationship but they say everything happens for a reason. So, I'm working on improving myself. Here's to better conversations 🍾🥂
