Here's the thing guys. We built this attachment up in our own minds. Thinking "this is the the one". But if it didn't work out, she wasn't the one. Focus on yourself and the Universe will bring you what you need.
There are loads of times things didn’t work out, but they still are the one. Sometimes we lose the best thing because of our own actions, simply saying ‘things ended so they aren’t the one’ can often deflect from accountability. Many a time changing and becoming better with self realisation attracts that ONE back. Something i disagree with him about is, there are people who are THAT special and not everyone else is like them. If YOU as an individual are like everyone else, then yes you’ll be able to be okay with anyone else and see that no one is that special. But if you yourself know you can’t just be with just anyone and a specific person, then you’ll understand not everyone else is like the person who meshed so well with you. Obv it’s his perspective but no, not mine.
And what if you had attachment issues that you’ve worked on since the breakup (issues that led to the breakup) what if you want a second chance to make things right?
Well muggins over here 🙋♀️ has this attachment to a toxic ex. Gaslight, manipulation, lying and the rest. All in one. And yet my heart cries for her touch. Its fucked up. I hate myself so much I'd rather end it all then see her with someone else, someone who treats her exactly how I did and yet will actually accept his efforts this time. Idk why she didn't accept my. First 3 month were great, then it all changed. 4 months of pure pain, horrible gut feelings, lack of reassurance, lack of sex.. and the rest. I just wanna be able to think clearly, just for.. 5 mins. But she's there. In my head none stop. It sucks 😪
...and if you love yourself, set yourself free. Do this for yourself. The other person already doesnt care about you. The key to freedom is in your own hand or literarly head 🙂
100% it's our ego that wants to stay attached because of what the relationship could be not what it is. It has a strong need for validation and acceptance which you have to give to yourself. Don't seek your worth in other people.
Absolutely. Realizing the other person isn’t as invested, attracted or interested as you can be devastating to your ego. Letting go of that person means accepting that you were rejected/abandoned by someone you highly valued and that can be such a blow to your confidence and self-esteem. I heard somewhere that the attachment is a reflection of an unmet need in your own life that you need to learn to address without relying on another person.
For me letting go just leaves me alone. I can be content alone, but I don't understand these people who can let go and find something. I have to be actively searching to find something.
@@A_Mystery_Mani think anyone, who finds someone, has to be searching for that someone, in some sort of way. Even if the other person finds you, you still have to want, to be with that person:) so i dont think there is anything wrong in searching for love, as long as you remember to love yourself as well
@@myselfasevan ive been split up 5 weeks, hit the bottle, painkillers the anxiety of it all is making me wanna end everything, i just want them all to go away 💔
@marcprobert1444 I'm with you . I've been going though this the past couple days. It hurts so much . They are letting us go. When we are still love with them. The memories and moments hurt
I think the best advice is mentally going back into the relationship and reviewing everything, you’ll see that yeah maybe they were nice and it was good when it was good but if you look honestly you’ll see fundamentally there was something really wrong
This is not a simple topic. My two cents is to not shame yourself if you are having a hard time letting go. Letting go can take a long time, but it will eventually happen. Use the process to learn about yourself.
You didn't know who they truly were. They sold you their mask, you painted a rose colored picture, then slowly but shurely, their mask was washed off and they harsh reality was thrown at your face, and you were left there, agonizing for months, years. Understand that they are not a 100% the villain of the story, you were not paying enough attention to the signs. Love them, but let them go. Love yourself, forgive the mistakes you made, learn from them, and love again, love better, don't let the pain forget how much love you are capable of giving.❤
Nah fuck that. Lying, manipuation, possibly cheating, etc. Doesn't make them innocent especially when you've given your all and actually kept through your promises when they didn't. Keeping a mask on shouldn't ever be forgiven.
One thing that I realized that could help you guys is that no matter how much you want to be with that person, they don’t want to be with you. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you?
@@mermaidlu5125 I know it in my head but my heart hurts. It’s my toxic sister and now she has my granddaughter giving me the silent treatment. I am heartbroken. Christian friends say I should be happy they aren’t in my life anymore
Be careful to not alienate yourself and call every little thing toxic. If you're making everyone walk on egg shells to conform to your definition of "not toxic" you might be the toxic one.
Yes I let them all go with zero contact. At this point though I feel nothing anymore and don't even want to try with so much effort and no return. Literally just went out to a nice restaurant on my own on a Friday night with a good book and can give zero fucks. 40 and still single and never really loved in the romantic sense sadly. I have been in therapy which has helped immensely and have so much to be thankful for from amazing health, no bad habits, creativity, world travel, no debts, high paying salary in my dream career, loving parents and friends, and lots of hobbies from my artwork to reading to film to travel. I'll probably live and die this life alone, but at least ill do so without holding onto lost hope and loving myself.
How are things looking for you? It's nice to know humans go through similar things despite being so different lol, I'm not even an adult yet. I got broken up with my one-year relationship yesterday because he wanted to "work on himself" to become a better person and it's the day after. So recent that he hasn't even removed my @ from his bio yet. He keeps saying it's for the better, but I was willing to do everything i can to stay together with him. That's when I realized that might be why-- he never felt the need to chase me because i was always chasing him. I hope i can get over this dagger in my heart before summer ends and i have to start school again. WIshing the best for everyone else in this comment section too. It's gonna hurt so much the first few weeks but learn to learn yourself.
Yeah bro it’s tough. I think especially after conflating your spiritual journey with a relationship be it through concepts of “twin flame” or “soul mates” you get extra attached to this idea that you need them to fulfill your spiritual purpose when that is not the case
Exactly! I once heard someone ask a spiritual teacher if soulmates were real. He replied "God is your true soulmate". It's so true. People can come and go, but God will never leave you.
@@ItsAllGodAnyway are you safe and on your way to healthy now? If you ever need to talk I am here, if you need to pray I am here! God bless you on your journey, you got this!!!!!
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low. Only hate the road when you're missing home Only know you love em when you let em go And you let em go 👌🏾
For me, it's just the fact that this person let me go for stupid reasons. I waited so long to try and find a good, loving, supportive partner... I'm 40 now and I don't know, the older I get, the more I am beginning to think true real love exists maybe only with parents (or even just yourself), other love is just a farce. If my ex thinks he can find someone prettier, kinder, etc. then so be it, I know my worth. And I know the special qualities I am able to share with someone and that's not something I take lightly, at least not anymore.
My heart goes out to you and what you went through. I know it’s not easy. Love is a bit of a farce. In my opinion, most humans aren’t evolved enough to truly love another. Most of us haven’t even accepted ourselves fully. That’s why we’re still bouncing around from person to person like apes.
@@myselfasevan A lot of people are judgemental these days, including those I sadly got close to. Even people I WASN'T able to get close to. They were not only SELFISH in their ways, but yeah, judge left and right. It's SADLY become the norm (not to mention POPULAR) to do that, and to be a bad person. People have become too much in my (non-humble) opinion. They judge as if they are more perfect than you or better than you. Arrogant!
I think the point is to grow into love through the creation of family which is passed on through parent-child. Romance and s3xual passion aside from this important part are essentially meaningless because it does not fulfill what’s it’s ultimate end is meant to be.
I needed this. Was broken up with 2 weeks ago, and have been virtually housebound since, feel like my body is shutting down from the pain. I can't stop thinking about this person, but I know I must let them go in order to be truly free, that there's no going back. I realise this person would never get back together with me anyway, so what's the point in fantasy, but I cling to it anyway. Looking forward to finally being free.
I went through a breakup a few months ago. We were together 7 years. I was extremely attached and codependent. Needless to say it was very difficult and emotionally jarring. BUT I’ve grown so much from it. I’ve regained my independence and realized I never want to feel that dependent on another person for my needs ever again. I feel much more secure in myself. And currently casually dating another person but decided to take a break since they admitted they were getting attached and I feel just fine because I know I will be ok without anyone else.
I'm shocked cause my bestie just left me last night I'm in unbelievable pain I was sobbing then your video popped up I really needed to hear this thank you May Allah bless you❤
Did that for 7 (4 years is also a *very* long time!!), and let me tell you woman to woman, deciding the last time was going to be *the last*, was the best decision I’ve ever made. If I could go back and tell my younger self how much healthier, and freer I feel now, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Just make sure to stay strong when they reach back out (bc they will)!! Change your # if it’s easier, block on everything else, eyes forward love.
What your saying is so true. But 22 years together and I feel I wasted a good portion of my life. That he could act like we never existed. And litterly just break my heart.
I’m going through the same emotion, I feel betrayed, and want to be the one to dump her. But at the end of the day, she was toxic. I feel sometimes getting her back would be the last thing that I want; but other times, it just feels like why couldn’t this work! It’s so frustrating when it takes a chunk of your energy, focus & time!
My ex didn't even bother to break up with me he just cut me off completely without any explanation. It wasn't a good relationship, but the way he ended it hurt because I didn't get closure. This video helps a little thank you
my bf of over a year (who i was living with) ghosted and disappeared, always remind yourself that disrespect and silence is all the closure/answer you need
What’s helping me but it’s hard still. “ Life is an experience and people are experiences too, it’s only right to move on to allow yourself to experience someone new who will truly align with what you bring to yourself and to the table period” 🙏🏽
Once I fell really badly for one guy. It was just a fling for him, but I fell head over heels. A total catastrophe for me. I went to school I thought of him, I went out with friends I thought of him, I ate I thought of him, etc. And all I could see was, that he didnt care anymore at all. I was realistic about that. I served myself the truth. I could count on: he is not interrested, he doesnt care, he will never call me again and probably hes onto the next one and there is nothing I can do. And that was it. I was free.
@@varuntripathi8712 Until your comment I didnt know that what I had experienced was a chadstruck 😂 I just wanted to paint a picture that there is way out- the truth taken in rather brutal way.
Been married for 3 years. Been with this person for a total of 6 years. It hurts a lot to even say it: it is over. There is no more future. It will never be. But it is the right thing to do. Yes, we can argue that things might change in the future. We might end up together in the end. But what good will it do to you now? If you don't let them go, you'll never know if they were really meant to be for you. Let them go. It hurts. But truly let them go. Let all the possibilities of you being together go. Let it die. Let it rot. Things has to die first before you are reborn again. As Viola Davis once said, you are your own greatest love.
Wow! I felt literally had knife stuck in my heart. Now I'm going strong. I hope he heals too cuz hes not bad person, we have both issues that needs to heal.❤❤❤❤
I feel this comment because I can say the same thing with me and my ex girlfriend. Despite the flaws, she wasn't a bad person. It just was the wrong time and I made great memories with the wrong person and I had to learn to live with that. That's how I gained my happiness and peace back
This is very good advice. You have to decide 100 per cent it is not them and let them go, mourn. It can be hard to face the truth when the other person has constructed themself as a lie that they’ve presented as truth but once you see it, keep hold of that and don’t go back! You are worthy of being free and better will come once the blockage from that old energy is removed. Thank you for sharing your wisdom ❤
You hit on a lot of good key points in this video man. Letting go really is the best way as hard as that is to think about. People need to delete all the photos and any reminders after break up.
You are so right on so many levels! The truth does hurt especially when you know that this person doesn't feel the same about you. Smh. Like I already knew this, but for some reason, the way you spoke just resonated with me more. You sounded very honest and gentle 😊 Thank you!
I've been watching a lot of these kinds of videos lately. But this particular one hit home for me in such a clear and concise way and I'm very thankful I found it. Thank you for these words!
I think the solution is found in Unconditional selflove. If we know how to truely love, then we will be at peace when they do not want us anymore or when we are no longer happy together because we want the best for both. Its still gonna be painful, but because you let go from a place of love its probably easier. The reason who now it is hard for many people is because their selfworh and selflove are dependent on another person loving them. Whatya think?
After 14 months with my live-in boyfriend, I found out he was cheating on me the whole time with his "ex-gf". We called each other our soulmates, our person, we were so close, more than any relationship in my life. But I had to walk away because I knew he would never change and that he was actually a covert narcissist. I'm 49...I don't think I can do this anymore. Trust of men is gone. Too many damaged people and temptations...porn, social media, etc.
Thanks so much! Especially if the person is still married but separated. He was never emotionally available. Life is short, it's time and it's just a matter of time to feel better. Happiness can only be found inside yourself, not in other people.
I stumbled upon this video at a time when my world feels like it's falling apart. Going through this breakup has been one of the hardest experiences of my life. Each day is a battle, filled with overwhelming sadness, tears that seem endless, and nights where sleep is replaced by nightmares. I never imagined I'd be in this place, feeling this broken, but here I am, trying to navigate through the pain. This video has given me a glimmer of hope, a reminder that it's okay to let go, even when it feels like I'm losing a part of myself. Letting go of someone I once loved deeply is heart-wrenching, and the thought of moving forward seems impossible. But hearing these words, feeling the empathy and understanding behind them, brings a small measure of comfort. To anyone else who might be reading this and feeling the same way, know that you're not alone. We're all trying to heal, to find our way out of the darkness. Let's hold on to the promise that, in time, we will be okay. Thank you to the creator of this video for providing solace in such a raw and vulnerable moment.
It's not the pain of them leaving for me. It's the pain of feeling like I was with someone I never really knew. Someone I thought was my best friend and my partner, someone I could confide in. It's hard to accept someone dropping you in the blink of an eye after having been through so much together.
Asked for a sign and saw the white dove on the thumbnail. Perhaps coincidence but it’s the exact symbol I asked to be shown. Crazy! I’m loving the comments here with everyone’s experience in finding peace after letting go ❤️🔥
It’s the most difficult when the people you want to let go is your mother and brother. If it’s intimate partner you don’t have to see that person ever again if choose not to. But it if it’s your family it’s doubly hard.
Amen, sometimes we have to just let go and let God. Some relationships just aren’t meant to be, and we have to accept that and move on. There may be someone out there God has for us! We just have to wait on Him and let go of the old!
Bless you mate for this video. The energy emanating from you is type of pub therapy vibe that I needed after breaking up with someone I had been with for over 4 years. Time to keep my chin up and look ahead.
Just had my relationship of 6 years end . I was 24 when we started dating and now I’m 30 . She knew I had children with other woman from the start but apparently the thought of being a 3rd baby momma didn’t satisfy her. I can understand that but why push it 6 years when you knew my life from day 1 . She claims because she thought she would grow mature enough to accept it but that never happened. We were not a toxic couple in anyways and everything seems great the last couple of weeks. I know now she’s been thinking about this for a while and that helps me accept our end. She obviously thought this over a lot and that’s the decision she made . I’ll come out on top eventually but she was one of my only friends and I think the attachment and dopamine of talking to her every day and seeing her is what hurts the most. I hope everyone heals and finds their peace
Powerful advice on detachment and moving on-it's often a painful yet liberating journey. Embracing the process and allowing oneself to feel the emotions fully can pave the way for new beginnings and personal growth. 🔑
Reading these comments helps me. Romantic relationships have been a challenge my whole life. Ive been dating a man for 5 months but i can tell he has no intention of having a serious relationship. Now, things could always change. But im moving 2 hours out of town in 2 months to complete a fellowship and hes shown minimal interest in coming to see me. In addition, aside from a weekly dinner and intimacy, he doesnt include me in his life. Actions speak louder than words. Im starting to mentally and emotionally let go. Starting to accept the possibility that i might be single for the rest of this life.. Oh well, theres worse things...Much Love to you all. ❤️❤️
Watching this video amidst my heartbreak brings a sense of understanding and comfort. Every day feels like a struggle, filled with tears and sleepless nights haunted by nightmares. I never imagined I'd face such pain, but here I am, trying to find strength. Thank you for reminding me that it's okay to let go, even when it feels impossible
Imagine being a dude and crying way more than you feel you should… I’m extremely hurt and be up all night I haven’t slept in my bed since she left I just can’t look at her side of the bed and she’s not there. I rarely go outside anymore, and it’s summer smh. Bday coming up and I feel so lonely rn. Sorry for venting
Broooo, can I get a hug from you? This is actually what I am doing for the past few days and when I watched your video, I conclude that I am on the right path! Thank you so much!
If you were married this looks different. Every guru telling you to detach trust me allow yourself to grieve as long as it takes even if it’s years. Don’t beat yourself up in the least. Detachment works when you were not covenantly attached. Meaning if it was a boyfriend or girlfriend. If they were your spouse it will take time. Heal, therapy, one step infront of the other at a time. Small wins like making your bed, feeding yourself wholesome food, get sunlight, journal, cry, cry some more then some more. Show yourself grace and compassion because it’s not easy. You will heal and then the detachment will come. ❤
The funny thing is that I do this while I am still in the relationship dealing with the person messing up it all. It saves you from tears and when you are actually out it's a relief.
I can only hope it feels better. It's been 10 years and my ex still plays over in my head, I'm messed up- and no therapy has fixed me. I just accept I may always be this way. I let them go awhile ago. Some people rebound in a week. Try ten years. I am free. I am good. I am love- this is my philosophy now. I'm grateful for a lot in my life. I'm grateful for my body and its patience.
sending much love to you in your journey currently letting go of the one i love the most and what hurts about it is they love me back we just do not know how to be together peacefully. ❤️🩹
@@hbk2akajoker I felt that. My partner and I are similar- we love each other but our lives do not match and neither of us did good trying to do better. Thank you we will heal🙏✨ much love to you
Wow, 10 fricking years. I can't even imagine myself in that spot. She dumped me 3 weeks ago to be with someone else, I fear that I will never find someone like her. I barely function and it hurts like hell. I don't know how to move on, I want her back even if she is with someone else and can't stop these thoughts.
@@ferit7418 dude I feel you. It's the hardest feeling to cope with. I've dated since but nobody has fit the same, which makes the missing part harder. I feel strong now, I do have dreams tho still. You've got to love yourself during these times and know that there is someone out there who is searching for you just as much. Time heals, peace
@@coolbaj Man, I'm literally a mess. And hearing that so long you didnt find someone that made you happy like her doubles my anxiety. I'm trying so hard to heal but knowing she is with someone else, got over me and forgot me and knowing there wont be another chance and there is absolutely no one like her in the world is heartbreaking. I don't see an exit from this.
I convinced my ex to break up with a guy that cheated on her and claimed to not be in love with him anymore. We talked for a month before she finally left him. We then moved very fast and things were great. We talked about getting married and having kids. I truly felt she was the one. She broke up with me through a text because she was to cowardly to have a real conversation about it. I later found out she ended up with her ex again. I held on for so long even after I found this out. I may still have a little bit lingering but I’m glad I’m finally letting go. I have to keep reminding myself because my life is very hard without her but towards the end she put me down in many ways and would never want to talk about anything hard. Wish she wasn’t like that and things worked out but I have come to accept that’s who she is. I even wished her well with her and the guy she left me for because I do love her. I can’t keep living like this so I’m deciding to let her go out of my mind. I do feel a weight starting to lift. Thanks for the video
You were a temporary rebound. I was in your position once too, exactly that. You thought it was actually you two who were meant for each other, and they just run straight back to their ex. They never cared about us, we were a temporary filler for them. That's why they dip so fast. Sorry man...
I genuinely wanted to get over this person, so what I did was I broke no contact to let myself get rejected utterly. It ended up helping in the long run since I stopped hoping for a future where they come back.
It’s just so freeing to know that the answer(of y u aren’t with who you want to be with)isn’t as complex as you think it is and for me my limrance stems from my father abandoning us when I was 3, so I end up projecting that wound a lot to sort of understand “why” but today it just clicked, he got tired of being a parent and then left (not making excuses for him). He’s not more or less complex than the next person. I guess I’ve always waited for this grand apology or explanation but he doesn’t have one or else he would’ve done it by now in the same way I wait for the person I’m obsessed with to make some grand entrance back into my life….he’s not gonna and for some reason both of those truths (which were once painful) now make me smile :)
It’s been really hard and painful to move on, but I’m finally doing it and cutting her out of my life. What really hurts is the way she went about it by ghosting me… that tells me everything that I need to know. She’s now blocked too, as she reached out lately which is really unfair and brings up the raw emotions. I didn’t reply and feel so much better for it. Every day that passes now gets better and I wonder what I even saw in her to begin. Thanks for the advice
