KFC Made A Sexy Lifetime Movie For No Reason 

Last video of the year I think! Thank you all for a great year. btw dont forget to nordvpn.com/jarvis and use our coupon jarvis at checkout :)

This is quite a tragic story. Bunny and Billy are in love. She has debts and an unsustainable lifestyle. He has so much money, he can give out half a million without a second thought. If only there was a way for them to be together and also for Billy to help Bunny out financially. Oh, wait. There is a way! Billy needs to marry Bunny's daughter. That's definitely the only logical way for those two to solve their problems.

my theory is that in the kentucky fried seduction universe, spray painting your hair is a fashion choice specifically used by chefs. if you’ll notice, you never see him wear a hat or any kind of hair net. how else are they supposed to keep it all out of the food? making it all one stiff oddly colored mass

I aspire for someone to want me out of their life so hard they pay me half a million dollars

Genuinely upset at the fact that nobody said "It's finger-lickin' good"

Wouldn't Bunny's financial problems be solved if She married Billy herself?

Why didn't Bunny just marry Billy?! She gets his money, Billy gets his long weekends and Jessica gets Harland...PROBLEM SOLVED

No you don’t understand I NEED a Pizza Hut x Taco Bell Romeo and Juliet story

I can’t believe it didn’t end with colonel sanders going for a drink in the evening and seeing Ronald McDonald walk out of the darkness to see ‘I’m putting a team together’

i really appreciate jarvis acknowledging the stone cold crouton line, but at the same time i think it's just irresponsible to ignore the way billy is dressed like a middle schooler who dressed up like a frat bro for halloween, specifically the cardigan around his neck that's tied all the way at the wrists for some reason

Why is nobody talking about how Billy literally could have married Jessica's mom- Billy and Jessica don't want to marry each other, him and her mom are already hooking up, and they need the money-why is this even a conflict?

they keep trying to make colonel sanders hot and i just wanna know who on their marketing team is secretly attracted to the colonel and this is the only way they can show it

Did anyone else completely burst out laughing as soon as coronal sanders walked in He sounded and acted like a teenager but looked like he wasn’t even a flight of stairs away from deaths door

Before their kiss and her saying "I don't want Billy, I want you," Jessica and the colonel interacted a total of 2 times. The two things she knows about him is his name and he's a respected chef with a secret recipe.

KFC in 2019: *Makes an Anime Dating Sim about KFC* KFC in 2020: *Makes a Romantic Movie about KFC*

Sanders: *witnesses domestic violence between two individuals occur right in front of him* Also Sanders: *”Don’t call me crouton”*

11:07 Can we PLEASE talk about how Billy has his sweater tied around his neck?!?! Who the hell ties a sweater like that?!

"Don't call me crouton." Idk why but the seriousness in which the line was delivered had me laughing longer than the movie itself

"A recipe for seduction" is a title I'd expect to see on some weird fanfic website

This was on 666k views and I didn't want to mess that up for you Jarvis, but I decided to make the selfish decision of watching because of that enticing thumbnail.

"It's my new chef" "We're weeks away from the bank repossessing our house" 😬😬 oh you smart

Now Wendy, Ronald McDonald and The Burger King need movies so we can create a fast food Cinematic universe

The gay black best friend trope wouldn’t be a bad one if the main character was also gay and black but they never are

Why doesn’t the mom marry him lol Why is this so complicated

Why couldn’t bunny just marry Billie if they were already a thing???

this movie is litterally like a bollywood series. parents want her to marry rich man but girl loves someone else. the only thing this film missing is the crazy effects

“Secret’s out, chicken man” is my favorite line in the whole thing

i like how the mom's thought process is, it's almost like she thinks she's in the medieval ages

There is no way this wasn’t written by a wattpad author

"DoN't cAll mE CRoutOn" the writers of this movie 👏👏👏

Jessica's family: in debt Also them: proceeds to live in a huge mansion and hire a chef

20:15 I feel like that conversation should have gone like: J: "I can't marry Billy." B: "Great, then I will." Double wedding, roll credits.

In the end, the mom and Billy both have rapidly aged gray hair, seemingly due to having breakdowns… Harland also has rapidly aged gray hair and never explained his backstory… coincidence?…

Does it bother anyone else that the mom's lecture about debt is straight-up lifted from Titanic?? And the daughter is being pressured to marry a rich guy, and the rich guy's name is Billy, and Billy Zane played that exact part in Titanic???

If the mom and the boyfriend are having an affair, why can't the mom just marry Billy to solve her financial troubles?

22:45 I LOVE the fact that billy decides to walk ever so slowly towards “crouton” just for plot

Bunny: Your not-so-fiancé likes the chef. Billy: - w H e E z E -

Should have been sponsored by KFC

I didn’t know that some people have a sexual attraction towards meh fried chicken. *Kinky Fried Chicken*

Billy could have just married bunny.

Actually, here in Japan for Christmas it's tradition to eat KFC as your Christmas meal! People start pre-ordering and reserving buckets way in advance and they dress up all the Colonel Sanders statues as Santa.

“Secret’s out, chicken man” is honestly the best line in movie history Edit - lol turns out I accidentally stole this joke from Danny’s video, but in my defence it’s true and needed to be said here as well 🤷🏻‍♀️ Edit 2 - upon rewatching, Danny called it “the coolest line in this movie” ... so not word for word, but I’ll still accept the blame for forgetting I’d probably heard him say that, resulting in my unintentional plagiarism

they're really taking this whole "finger lickin' good" to a level nobody wants to go.

This is unopologetically one of the best Christmas movies ever.

I have a theory that Bunny is actually in every doorway in existence at the exact same time

I like how he's like "here's your $500,000, bye bye" You can't stop him from staying, you legit just gave him the money

“pleeeease let this be a normal staff meeting” “with the colonel? NO WAY”

"Secret's out Chicken Man." Me aggressively flashes back to Toy Story 2: IT'S THE CHICKEN MAN!!!

Jessica’s “Billy What the hell are you doing?” Sounds like she’s a mother reprimanding her child rather than a worried lover

Every single second of this 'movie' makes me extremely uncomfortable. Not even an establishing shot because I know that Sexy Colonel Sanders is going to be there again. Is he young? Is he old? Is he a Civil War reenactment enthusiast that didn't have time to get the fake facial hair off before work but that hot chick seems to dig it so he's just decided to commit to this new life of looking like a ghost from the Alamo? Do any of these questions need to be answered? No, but somehow that just makes me want to know even more

Writers: so, do you want a Gay best friend or a Black Character who’s only purpose is to get the main characters together Producers: yes Writer: but- Producers: YES

Why can’t he just marry the mom then? Clearly then the house will be saved everyone will be happy ?

Mom's name is Bunny because, for some reason, all middle-aged rich women still go by their childhood nicknames. 🤷😂 That outfit that Billy's wearing...the shorts and the pink sweater over the shoulders...I'm dying!! 😂😂😂

So when Billy calls Harland “crouton”, he flashes back to his childhood when his family made fun of him, and then we learn his childhood nick name was “Popeye”

Billy DOES look like a weirdly preppy Death Eater and I can't unsee that.

22:36 Wow, looks like Sanders could do with a Troom Troom course refresher on how to escape your kidnappers.

why wouldn’t the mom marry billy if she wants the money and they like each other, why get jessica involved?

Jean was too embarrassed to put their last name in the movie

The fact that this is the second time KFC has tried to make Colonel Sanders a sex symbol is, uh, concerning

14:42 So, why don’t they just get married themselves!!?

I’d be surprised about this if they hadn’t done that fucking dating sim like a year ago

i just wanna say you have a last minute contender for thumbnail of the year

Can't wait to sink my teeth into this extra crispy content...

13:10 in defense of "should I leave billy for the chef" While it's a little silly because she's known the chef for a day, in this context it's more reasonable than if nothing was going on because of the proposal and then that YIKES response to the proposal being slowed down. So the real question is if she should leave the guy. Using another person for comfort in stressful times like that, however irrational-not uncommon. Especially when the main pressure about the rich guy is for gain. so it's like "This guy has money and that's where the pressure is for everyone but, this guy was nice to me in a way I forgot I could be treated, should I go for that?" Esp with a situation like this with obvious abusive undertones and where she has her abusive bf and abusive mom as staples asking from her friend. Abusers tend to isolate you, especially from people who treat you so well, so having someone treat you like a human after a long stint of not having it can really attach you to that person. I'm giving KFC too much credit, but I stand by what I said

OK... Lee couldn't contact Jessica because Bunny had taken the phone. BUT, the next scene we have Jessica on her phone when Harland walks in to say he can't be bought off. CONTINUITY!

I’m gonna start saying “beat it crouton” to all my friends at every single opportunity I have

going to make "beat it, crouton" a permanent part of my vocabulary now

12:57 I'm crying ahh I can't with this "my mom needs me to mary Billy, I've seen the bills lee"😭😭

"was he just holding a drumstick in his hand when he checked in" LMFAO

as someone living in kentucky I can confirm everyone has divorced their husbands in hopes of getting with the colonel

"Die Hard is a Christmas movie." Jarvis is a man of culture.

So the mom wants Jessica to marry Billy because the dad left the family with a lot of debt, but the mom and Billy are also secret lovers... So why didn't the mom just marry Billy?

The immediacy of her saying "should I leave him for Harlan?" felt like a game on Episode. Like leaving him immediately was the choice that cost 100 diamonds but she asked it real early anyways.

Fun Fact: The actor who plays Billy is a lead conspirator on how Tupac didn’t die. Wonderful.

I mean the most surprising thing about this movie was that I find out Colonel Sanders first name wasn't Colonel

Is it too late to make a t-shirt that says "Secret's out, chicken man" and how many times would I have to explain it on a daily basis?

watching this movie to wake up and I'm seriously questioning if I'm still asleep

Danny gonzalez is quaking

maybe the grey hair is a fashion statement, maybe he's intentionally trying to make his age confusing so that people think he's older than he is and take him seriously in his career, but he still wants to appear young and hot.

17:52 I would just take the check, cash it in, then come back and continue working for the family.

7:18 when she first said this I thought she said "Ghirardelli" like the chocolate and thought this was about to be a brand collab and nearly died

“I’m recording this on the fourth day of Hannukah” oh man don’t just admit that you spent 8 days on a video about KFC

Everyone’s gangsta till this movie wins the Oscars in 2021

14:20 Felt like KFC wanted to appeal to the zoomers by having the Spider Man laughing meme.

"Beat it, crouton!" is my new favorite comeback.

I have never seen anyone eat chicken threateningly until this movie.

This movie feels like an episode story

“I’m speechless” “Literally, you just spoke” Jarvis can say the most basic shit and it cracks me up every time wtf 😭😭

plot twist: billy proposes to lee instead of jessica and jessica and harland get married and the mom just kinda sits there 😀

"We can make a movie" "We can make a *horny* movie" lmao that got me. Comin out the gates strong on this one

Bunny's Twitter Bio: "Unapologetically in doorways 24/7"

I would've cashed his check and told Jessica that we're going on vacation😂😂

I love how all these commentaries are at least 10-15 minutes longer than the actual mini movie.

Sequel should be called “saved by the Taco Bell” staring Mario Lopez as Colonel Sanders Son

My grandma worked at KFC as a teen, and Colonel Sanders (the real one) used to travel around the country checking to see if the restaurants were up to code. Colonel Sanders was notorious for being a racist asshole. At my grandma's location, he came in, tried the gravy, and decided it wasn't up to code. He then dumped the entire vat of it out on the floor and made them mop it up and make a new giant tub of gravy.

21:24 man's really tried not to laugh at his own joke

19:46 Now all the business savvy people have filed a trademark for Bunny, bunnie, or bunni security systems. Thanks a bunch, Jarvis.

Conspiracy: Colonel Sanders acting like a teenage boy in love is an ode to the teenagers who have worked and are working at kfc u.u b

Everybody gangsta till someone calls Harland a crouton.

"We can make a movie." "We can make a _horny_ movie." "Colonel Sanders is hot now." I want more Jarvis acting out company advertising boardrooms, and dumb idea sunglasses guy should be in all of them.