Malt Liquor, Mukbang, and Me 

HEY PALS. It's been a minute. It's been... many minutes. Thanks for sticking around despite it. I know some of you are looking for an explanation why there have been a grand total of two new This Exists videos since last May. You are wondering just how dead I am. I love the community that sprung up around this channel and I appreciate everyone who watches these videos, who leaves a comment, who wonders what the hell happened. Here's the very full, mostly dull details because I owe you. Last January, I was brought on as the Creative Director of an agency at a big Canadian record label. It's been the most challenging and rewarding year of my professional life. But I still had big plans for growing this channel, so I launched a second show and upped production to two episodes a week. There was still the standard issue This Exists every Thursday, and a newer, shorter, list-y-er "This Existed" every Saturday. This was a mistake. I didn't have the time to make two great shows. The "This Existed" format made people mad because it didn't have the weird energy of the original show. And even though some of my favourite This Exists episodes came out during this period - ＳＩＭＰＳＯＮＷＡＶＥ, Dwarf Fortress, Slipknot truthers - there's also a lot of chaff. There's an episode called "Animals doing crimes." And even good ideas for episodes - the one about Twitter bots and experimental literature - didn't get the work they needed to be worthwhile for anyone. At the end of May, I went on a weeklong trip with my friends. Normally I'm ahead by a few weeks so I can take off without disrupting the schedule. I was no longer ahead. I missed one upload. Then I missed another. I felt like I needed the time off to recharge, so I paused the Patreon, let people know I was retooling, and figured I'd be back in a month. It was a lot longer than a month. I have the immense good fortune to have both this channel and a job I find creatively satisfying. But that sometimes means that after 10 or 11 hours at work it's hard to come home and be creative. I'll try to work on an episode but I stall out. I knew This Exists needed to be great again, but I honestly didn't think I could write something great. It's amazing how quickly one month became six. There's a layer of anxiety to it. The longer I wasn't writing, the more pressure I felt. It compounds quickly and it adds up. It is not pleasant to combat. I came back with the extratone episode in November, which I loved. I took time writing and researching it. We built new graphics for the show, which I also loved. But it was the wrong time to try to relaunch. There were some big non-work life things happening that needed my attention. There were holidays, there were trips for work I knew were coming. The same issues persisted - if I didn't have time to make an episode great, to make something that I could be truly proud of, I didn't want to make one. The same problems started compounding. I've run into a few fans of the show this winter. They've been amazing, interesting people - asking about new episodes, telling me to take my time. It made me feel better. It made me want to come back with something big that I could stand behind, and it made me less anxious that everyone here had decided I was a total prick. This took a long time. It's weird. I'm proud of it. I want the show to feel like this - thorough, fun, well-considered. But I also want to post at least once a month. That was the goal in November, when I should have known better, and it's the goal again, when I'm writing this to you and believing that I've got the juice again. I can't say enough about how lucky I am to have people here who care about this show and are excited to see it come back. I'm excited. Let's do this.

I forgot This Exists even existed...

Turns out This Exists, Exists.

Still coming back to this episode after all this time. It’s my favorite.

I love this channel! It's honestly one of my favorites, it's like Vsause for fringe cultural phenomenon! There's no channel like it, especially with the amount of work and research that goes into each one. I hope there will be more soon!

Please make an episode about Varg Vikerness's insane racist Dungeons&Dragons game he made! it's fucking bizarre

I just want to say this is one of my favourite RU-vid videos and that I come back to it every once and a while.

A new video? After binging your videos for about three days? There is a god!

I was in that cereal eating stream. You can even see my name! Wohoo, my 15 minutes finally arrived!

I don't even like malt liquor but man 70s-era Billy Dee Williams could convince me to do anything

WE BACK BABY

You're like that dad that goes to pick up bread, or in this case cereal, and doesn't come back for months at a time. This level of Stockholm syndrome shouldn't exist just from a RU-vid channel. Must be the Chem trails brainwashing us to keep coming back to this disappearing act. Please don't leave again

I KNEW YOUD COME BACK FOR US!

Dude, yes! I was wondering if you were still alive. Good to see. I miss the old intro though. xo

welcome back! Definitely missed my periodic deep-dive into internet whut. It's great to see another episode from ya!

Those "muckbang" creators basically all have to be bulimic to keep up appearances, and the binge eating is also a bulimic thing to do. This is another way the malt videos are similar. They both show some problems the community might not want to share. Also 🙏thanks for the new episode🙏

Yaaaaaay new video! Glad to see you're still around, hope you're up for making some more.

it feels good to have this back, love your commitment to come back to this

This is the video I show everyone to try and get them into this exists. Great job man I can watch these videos over and over and not get bored

This was super interesting. Loneliness exists and the Internet is the cause and cure lol. Can't even tell you how excited I was when your video popped up! ✌️👏

THANK THE LORD I have missed this channel so much. This episode was amazing, strangely poignant, and it reminds me why I love this show so much. Can't wait for more!

hell yeah dude so glad to see another episode! I hope whatever you're working on is going well!

FINALLY! I've been waiting for a new episode!!! Glad to have you back man!

YOU'RE BACK!!!

So glad to see a new video from you. Hope you're doing well, still a huge fan of this channel!

Welcome back, and thanks for making this. I always love that you make these fringe cultural phenomenon videos and make them humanizing. You even tried it out for an hour to get to know it better, and came away with a perspective that I just.. didn't really consider, but makes a ton of sense.

My fav show on the entire interwebs. thanks for coming back

hey man, happy to see new content, like your approach, backed research and wider interpretation of the subjects you cover, thank you and keep it up!

Always pleased to see this channel still chugging along. I don't care if they come daily, monthly or yearly as long as they don't stop.

Really appreciate the work you do Sam. This show has taught me a lot more than I expected it too back when I discovered it over a year ago. Felt a little disheartened when you weren't uploading videos on the regular but as a creative with many outlets for my work I understand how one aspect can hinder the output of the rest. Just wanted to say that I'm a huge fan of everything you do here and I'm glad you are willing to continue making This Exists.

I love this channel. It exploded in it's early stages, peaked at Black Midi, the fad followers have drained out and now it's just a good old cult classic. BTW I'm more than happy to wait a little longer for a video, as long as you're happy making them.

I think its cool that this episode got a "sequel" 4 years later in the newest episode of Extremely Online. Sam's the best

im glad this is back, i hope you keep back at it

When I saw this was uploaded I got excited, I've missed your videos.

I was going through my subs yesterday. I saw 'this exists' and almost unsubbed. But I looked and said, "just in case he comes back..."

I saw the notification when I awoke today and got super hyped. I love This Exists.

Haven't seen you in a while man! Great to see you're still at it. Now I just have to catch up!

Wow this video feels like a big conceptual leap from your previous ones, much appreciation for what you do!

Missed the channel so much. Keeep up the good work!

I AM SO EXCITED! I have missed This Exists so much!

Good to see you back man! Really like your channel

I'm so glad there's a new episode!!

So glad to see you back in the saddle Sam, This Exists is my favourite You Tube channel... in fact, I didn't even have a favourite You Tube channel until I found this one. Keep up the good work mate, take your time.

awesome episode man, worth the wait

We miss you man, keep up the good work. I prefer one-two videos in 6 months made with passion that something put out just for the "need" of the fans. Welcome back.

so stoked This Exists is back

Great to see you guys again, awesome videos as always!

Excellent episode, love your stuff! You are one of my favourite channels, please never stop making videos! Those things you find, what you find, it is so interessting to learn about them! :)

Seeing this video in my subscriptions was a pleasant surprise. welcome back This Exists :)

I'm very happy you're back, congrats on the job btw!

worth the wait, best episode guys

I am always happy to see THIS existing! I hope you keep it up! -Shawn

It's SO good to have you back!!!

YOURE BACK

ngl this episode left me feeling incredibly sad. but! welcome back! for how ever long you'll be back.

So he's not dead

So glad you came back!

Good to have you back mate, where do I find the explanation of where you've been?

so happy this shows still going thank you so much :)

Glad you're back! ♡

More please! We've waited too long.

Man, who knew the Malt Liquor Drinking Community became so meta...

oh my god im so glad you made a new video!!! i was afraid things no longer existed! you need another assistant to help you to get more videos out consistently... all im saying is that i know a guy that will drop everything and come to Canada

So happy to see the show return. One of the funniest, most interesting and most intelligent shows on youtube. Keep it up.

Dood I miss you! Thanks for the new up load. 8]

I'm glad I stayed subscribed...What a great video!

Nice video, dude! I love the feel of this one- I can tell a lot went into researching these. Nice MBMBAM reference with the title, lol, though I guess in this case its MLMBAM

Thirsty doesn't even begin to comprehend how much I've been craving your return. Talk about a sight for sore eyes!

"sometimes" lol that was interesting though. I'll never go watch those kind of videos. but, hey, I now know they're out there.

Yes! Hopefully you'll uploading some more episodes in the future! Some suggestions for future episodes: Japanese Rockabilly, South African punk and it's history with Apartheid, and Soviet punk scene/ punk behind the Iron Curtain. I Love your show and all the hard work you put into each episode!

Missed this in my subs!! Need more This Exists maynnn

GLAD YOURE BACK I MISSED YOUUUUUUUUU!

So happy that you're back!

Glad to see you're back

I thought this channel was dead. Glad there's a new video.

Holy shit you're alive!! yay!!! I missed this!!!

Glad to see you're back!

Mad respect for listening to Shared Arms during your cereal live stream. They're a pretty rad part of the punk scene here in Windsor, and I'm pretty sure I've seen them at a house show or some bar downtown back in the day.

Hey! welcome back. i missed you.

15 minutes of pure information I kind of need.

my first thought was "well that's weird." But then I remembered that I still log into emulators of a game that's been shutdown for years and sit in a virtual cantina hanging out with random people. I even took a trip down to the southern US (I'm from Canada) last October to meet some of the people I met from the game. I slept on the floor at one of their apartments. So that's pretty weird too.

This is definitely one of the best videos of this channel!

yes thank you for making another video! seriously thank you!!!

Please do more!!! We need you in our lives.

Where have you been for so long?? Finally your back❤

Thanks for introducing me to Black Metal Troy, I was running out of mixtapes to watch.

Reminds me of the whole Let's Play and Live Reaction scenes. Or Unpacking Videos. Or Haul Videos. All these odd little subcultures of people broadcasting one aspect of their lives onto youtube and hundreds or thousands of people tuning in. Definitely a socialization aspect to it. If I can't watch X with pals IRL, watching some guy on youtube watch it is the next best thing. But love for the subject also drives this thing: sometimes when I'm super into X, I'll watch live reaction videos of X to vicariously experience it for the first time, again. Which would imply that at least some of the people watching Malt Liquor videos just really REALLY love malt liquor.

When your talking about Simponswave to a friend and you bring up this channel, then the next day bam there's a video in your subscription feed. :)

Yuss you finally uploaded

Seeing this is in my subscription list fills my heart with childlike wonder.

1 video per year \o/

Love this channel, wish there was more of it, but I'll take what I can get.

Even though you upload one every 4 month, everyone of your videos blows my mind

Woo Hoo! Love your show man...I hope you can do it more often!

I love your videos. Please keep making them! ^_^

I'm so glad that This Exists and has returned. And that I can say two things with a single sentence thanks to it's wonderful title.

Holy Crap, Sam please start uploading again i was hoping you were gunna start again regularly after extratone.

thanks This Exists, now I'm getting recommended a whole bunch of mukbang videos.

Now that you're more or less officially back, I have an episode for you. Fluffy Booru. Don't look it up if you're squeamish, though. Definitely one of those sites that needs a disclaimer on the home page.

You are a fantastic essayist. I like how you treat others with dignity in a medium that seeks too often to degrade and devalue personhood. Well done, sir.