My Dad Thinks My Boyfriend Is Too Old For Me… (Is He Right?)

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My Dad Thinks My Boyfriend Is Too Old For Me… (Is He Right?)
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Опубликовано:

2 ноя 2020

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Комментарии : 681

@Da_dctr78 3 года назад

The fact that she can’t make this decision on her own makes me feel like her dad is right.

@porteal8986 11 месяцев назад

no when you're 21, or even at any age, it makes sense to respect your parent's opinions even if you think differently

@anneshirley9560 4 месяца назад

@@porteal8986that's true. I'm 28 and I still care deeply about their opinion.

@erudite1987 3 месяца назад

It depends on whether her dad has integrity or not. I would say she shouldn't date a man who has a kid. It's adultery in God's eyes.

@coureenlawrence4915 3 месяца назад

@@erudite1987What? Dating a man with kids is not adultery. If the man was married and divorced, he would be committing adultery and she would be committing fornication.

@erudite1987 3 месяца назад

@@coureenlawrence4915 What did Jesus say about adultery: I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9

@Erica-wz8yv 3 года назад

Did she say this is her first boyfriend she’s ever had?! She just sounds too immature to be in a relationship with someone so much older than her. And the fact he has an 11 year old child, yikes.

@nt3833 3 года назад

I know this comment was months ago, but wanted to say I totally agree. They are in two very different stages of life. I feel like Dr. John missed some important questions and advice he could have given her.

@johnmartin4641 3 года назад

So what if he’s the first boyfriend she’s ever had? That’s better than having a long string of failed relationships and it means she makes good choices. She’s happy with him. Who cares if he’s older than her and has a child?

@maryann7619 3 года назад

@@johnmartin4641 BS. He wants to go back in time to relive his youth. He is the poster child for a Loser. Total Loser.

@willak79bud90 2 года назад

@@maryann7619 sounds like someone has a problem with men dating younger women. There was no information given to hint at "loser".

@starrjohnson1327 2 года назад

When I was 24 I dated an older man(36). He was divorced with 3 kids. My dad told me to run but I didn't listen. I was just so glad to have a boyfriend. I introduced him to my dad-he was so rude! Wouldn't even shake his hand. I was so embarrassed

@Guitarlvr01 3 года назад

She may be 21 but she sounds 12. And certainly doesn’t sound mature or confident enough to date a 30-something with a pre-teen kid. It’s all reflected in her wording imo.

@Kinksgalore 3 года назад

She probably looks 12 at 21 I know I did.

@ariellaabrahams 2 года назад

Exactly. The 35 year old likes that she is so easy to manage/control. So much easier than someone his own age.

@thereisnopandemic Год назад

@@ariellaabrahams actually he likes that the 18 year old has a small body count, less emotional baggage. Has not been torn down by past relationships. Is more submissive which is a feminine trait, she is less likely to shame him for his preferences. That is the case for my wife of 8 years, I’m 43 she is 29 now, met my wife when she was 19. A woman my own age is challenging, if I wanted a person that will be a challenge I would date a man, being challenging and competitive are masculine traits, and masculine traits are a sexual turn off.

@micahwright5901 Год назад

@@thereisnopandemic good grief, dude

@ihateallyall Год назад

I highly agree. she was clearly not ready for that relationship.

@natalielinden 3 года назад

"I don't need to be dating anyone right now" in the next breath "I want to see where this goes". RED FLAG. If you don't know what you want, it's irresponsible to date someone with a daughter.

@maam-yj8ph 3 года назад

I agree that most daughters would be very dismissive of a stepmother of this age and maturity level.

@paulatripodi3989 2 года назад

She should trust her doubts at this point, but she's not mature enough to see her mixed feelings as red flags. The guy may be great, but as an older woman I would be telling her, DO NOT rush into anything too serious yet. You are not ready. Listen to your dad in this instance!

@IA-py9by 3 года назад

Her dad is giving her the right advice.

@larissagonzales6075 3 года назад

Yes at her age it makes more sense. If she was 35 and he was 45 I think it would be ok.

@johnmartin4641 3 года назад

It’s stupid advice. She’s happy with him. Who cares if he’s older? She can’t just decide not to be in love with someone because they’re older.

@reginasemenenko148 Год назад

100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@FellDownTheCornHole 2 месяца назад

@@johnmartin4641 As a 35 year old man you shouldn’t be looking at 21 years olds unless you are a predator or just extremely immature.

@johnmartin4641 2 месяца назад

@@FellDownTheCornHole if you want kids, you have to go younger. If she makes you happy, then go for it. And the current and former presidents are squaring off again and both have a similar or larger age gap and the one facing 91 criminal charges hasn’t even been charged as being a predator. If they could, they would, but they can’t because that doesn’t make him a predator.

@traceycancio1795 3 года назад

Your 21. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't make decisions you will regret later.

@nikkizetlian4421 3 года назад

I believe she is confused. She does not sound mature enough

@nicholaslovett6248 3 года назад

You make a really good point. She is confused.

@rockycomet4587 3 года назад

Just hasn't experienced much.

@shola7987 3 года назад

She sounds 12

@Ivana9910 3 года назад

@@nicholaslovett6248 she seems easily manipulated which is unfortunate.

@javanburton 29 дней назад

She is more mature than multiple people she is confuse about what to do in life and decided to reach out for advice and what to do. Majority of people would keep dating.

@josephinenelan4204 3 года назад

I would take some of dad's wisdom with this one.

@jmc8076 3 года назад

I agree and I was in a similar situation. However I was 27 and he was 15 years older. It’s 26 years later and we’re still together. I will say my dad was right and some of the challenges we’ve had. But then all marriages have them.

@josephinenelan4204 3 года назад

@@jmc8076 All marriages have challenges, but all challenges are not the same...

@anthonya459 3 года назад

Sour grapes

@nathalieisneon 3 года назад

Yuppppp

@willak79bud90 2 года назад

Dad just has a strong opinion. I didn't hear any wisdom.

@chrisreynolds6391 3 года назад

Dave Ramsey: what’s his income?

@lawiwis882 3 года назад

Gosh I was 19 dating a 32 year old and I really wish I would’ve gotten this advice. My parents never opposed it and I’m kinda glad they let me learn from my own mistakes but I honestly regret that relationship and if I had a chance would redo it all over again, not date him and enjoy my early 20s.

@deniseaoki260 3 года назад

Ditto

@codingiscreativity 2 года назад

A lot of dating gurus advice men dating younger girls below 25 but the advices were for good but it turns out many young girls regret those relationships.

@mba2ceo 2 года назад

so U regret NOT slutting around ?

@daniella8400 2 года назад

@@codingiscreativity because the men are trying to date us super young for control and to fulfill their ego. Date someone on your level and who you can relate to. Your relationship may stand a chance if your closer in age but if you’re far apart it will likely fail, you be at different points in your life as you age.

@dewilew2137 Год назад

This is the type of situation where I don’t believe letting a young woman learn from her own mistakes is the best course of action. Considering how emotionally, psychologically and sexually damaging and traumatizing these age gap relationships can be for a woman in her early 20s, the lesson learned is not worth the potential lasting damage. I’m Speaking as someone who has been there. There’s not a 35 year old man on earth who has good intentions for a 21 year old woman. He either wants to take advantage of her, or he’s looking to control her.

@ethxo6734 2 года назад

I wish a had a loving dad to shield me from this when I was younger. I was 18 and a 30 year old man approached me, telling me how mature I was. We dated a few months and I was not ready. Reflecting on it now that I’m in my late 20s i can see it was borderline predatory. Take your dads advice.

@thereisnopandemic Год назад

You were immature, women raised in other country by 18 year old are mentally atleast 10 years wiser and more mature than western women. My wife of 8 years was 19 years old and I was 34 years old when we met. Everything worked out great, I’m 43 and she is now 29 and no issues. But again my wife was born and raised in Mexico. She brings a lot to the table, even better than a 30 year old American woman would. She is the girl to my right in my avatar picture.

@gc-yt6627 Год назад

@@thereisnopandemic you definitely struck luck with her, congrats man! I too sometimes think it's ridiculous to paint everyone with the same brush of "I was possibly preyed upon so all age gap partnerships are preying upon someone." Western women are in general just less mature than those of other areas in the world.

@Youneverknow100 Год назад

Lol..predatory?

@debfox Год назад

⁠@@thereisnopandemicjust tell us you’re a predator and wanted to mold your wife without telling us! Your behavior isn’t okay. I feel for your wife. You two WERE NOT at the same developmental stages. It would be one thing if you met her now. It’s quite different when she was THAT young! She couldn’t even legally drink. Also, the fact that you felt the need to talk down to someone and calling them immature tells me that YOU are the immature one! Anyone that finds an 18 yr old attractive at the age you were, shows that power differential that you evidently like. You know 30 year olds wouldn’t put up with your crap! 🤷‍♀️😳

@debfox Год назад

I absolutely agree with you 100%! It’s different if there’s an age difference and you’re in the same developmental stages. At 18, you can’t even drink legally. The 30 yr old probably couldn’t find a woman closer to his age to put up with his crap!

@RosaEstanli 3 года назад

She sounds so unsure on what to do. That means she needs to walk away and learn more.

@olivebranch3427 3 года назад

Sometimes, just sometimes, these types of guys want someone young they can manipulate and control more easily. I'd ask your father if there's something his seeing in this guy besides the age issue.

@BassPlayer60134 3 года назад

I would want a full breakdown of the rest of his baggage.

@Elizabethatthebeach 3 года назад

I would say, almost always... Though, subconsciously...They want someone they can manipulate...😏

@nicholaslovett6248 3 года назад

Was that in the call, though? Sometimes there's just nothing to see. It seems like her father has an opinion and she has an experience. The experience should win out, imo.

@abbasjoy4785 3 года назад

You're right...it's no joke

@ryanj357 3 года назад

Age is just a number. Not every guy is out to manipulate women. She is the age of consent. As long as both people consent to it I don't see what the problem is. He's not breaking the law.

@cchat6262 3 года назад

She is way too young to be a mother figure to an 11 year old..

@what.the.whatever 3 месяца назад

21 and 11 10 years difference old enough to be siblings

@Rachelle_Creates 3 года назад

I was 21 when I got married, I was mature enough for marriage. I’m 36 now and I know that that 21 year old me is a totally different person. I now have 3 kids we’ve experienced life and so many different things. I think that she should take it slow and really decide what she wants out of life and in a husband. She isn’t ready, she doesn’t even know what she wants.

@RosaEstanli 3 года назад

How much older is your husband? 21 with a 35 year old is a huge gap in maturity. She sounds inexperienced.

@s.mariebarrolle9077 3 года назад

@@RosaEstanli Exactly. The caller's scenario is not two 21 year olds or two young people marrying young. It's a 21 year old plus a 35-year-old with a child.

@marktheshark2569 3 года назад

Your situation might be different bc there is a 14 year age gap and he has a child that is only 10 years younger than her. Btw, u should probably stop lying, u we’re not mature enough to be married at 21

@vancomycinb 2 года назад

@@marktheshark2569 Maybe you aren't. Some people are, and historically, most have been.

@overworked123 2 года назад

Don't date him. Take it from someone who's been there. Find someone closer to your own age. Listen to your dad.

@Lovrofthearts 3 года назад

I'd be more concerned about the fact that the boyfriend has an 11 year old daughter than the age gap. 21 is not mature enough to help co-parent a kid about to become a teenager when she JUST exited that life phase... Also, (and this is a critique of John's phrasing) no adult man and woman romantically interested in one another should be "hanging out together" or "seeing where things go."

@joreyn7656 2 года назад

When I was 19, I was pursued by a 31 year old man. I didn't think a lot about it at the time and we didn't end up dating, but now that I'm in my early 30s, I feel like it's so messed up for someone in their 30s to be pursing a 19 year old.

@snoozyq9576 2 года назад

Good on you. I dated men older than that when I was 19. Didn't last long though before they realized it didn't seem all that smart.

@adammanning1805 3 года назад

When I was 35 there was no WAY I would be looking at a 21 year old. The dumbness that comes with that person is astronomical. Only one reason he would go for someone that young, control.

@RJ12347 3 года назад

Get those young guts

@maam-yj8ph 3 года назад

Thank you. He could also be 35 going on 22 himself, but with an 11 yr old daughter it's time to be grownup. It'd be different maybe if she were very mature for her age too.

@sagepirotess6312 2 года назад

Then you have been socially conditioned to think its taboo or bad. You realize vietnamese have a 10 plus age gap in marriages and a 15% or less divorce rate.

@200mariahcarey 2 года назад

@@sagepirotess6312 because divorce is frowned upon there even when both partners are unhappy. Let's not take countries with low divorce rates as examples. It's not the best of metrics

@sagepirotess6312 2 года назад

@@200mariahcarey nope you can rationalize it anyway you desire. But you are raised to be independent and seek individualism over everything else. Oh and be at the mercy of corporation's, government and special intrest groups. A citizen is a product of their culture and country. You were raised the way the government wanted you to be.

@LL-lj1kq 3 года назад

She made every answer sound like a question . ? ?

@icesk8ergal1123 3 года назад

The fact that when he asked her what specifically her questions are, she had nothing to say speaks volumes to her maturity. It should be things like, “am I ready to be a mother figure to an 11 year old? Do I want to spend my early 20s in a serious relationship with the first guy I ever date? He’s not waiting around, so I want to get married in the next year or two?” Etc.

@aquaabundance4077 Год назад

100%

@abbasjoy4785 3 года назад

You're answering your own question girlie! Listen to your dad and discomfort. You're 21 and YOU WILL REGRET IT, be a young woman, there's more to life

@traceycancio1795 3 года назад

The 11 year old comes first.

@marshclem2255 3 года назад

This girl sounds way too immature to even be able to handle a relationship with a guy that old with a kid. She needs to grow up before she dates grown ups.

@Elizabeth-ej6ln 3 года назад

right she sounds like she's 15 discussing what outfit she's going to wear to the movies.

@michellerichardson3090 3 года назад

Exactly. She's 21 and never been on a relationship. She needs to just casually date. People with children are looking for something more serious

@timothybare679 3 года назад

What Immature girl is going to place so much value on her family's views like this?

@AMK544 3 года назад

@@timothybare679 an immature girl who still needs daddy’s permission for everything. I agree with the dad, but she still needs to grow up and make her own decisions. Notice how she giggled at EVERYTHING she said? Yeah I did that too at 13-15

@jessicaHcat 3 года назад

My husband and I are 15 years apart (we met when I was 24 and him 39), and my dad was furious when we started dating. However, my dad's opinion was biased because he cheated on my mom with a younger woman before, so he believed our relationship was God punishing his wrong doing in the past. My dad even said I was a horrible daughter and he would disown me forever. I knew he was wrong so I continued the relationship. Fortunately my dad realized my husband was not a bad man and he finally gave us his blessings when we were about to marry. One thing I'd like to point out is my husband doesn't have kids to worry about. If he did, I probably wouldn't be with him. Having stepkids who are only 10 years younger than you is very tough to deal with.

@wiseowl2020 3 года назад

You were a little older than this girl and you had more maturity.

@charlestolley2294 3 года назад

@@wiseowl2020 And her dad had less maturity than the caller's dad

@johnmartin4641 3 года назад

Why? There’s a couple I’m friends with with a somewhat big age difference. He had 2 kids from a previous marriage, they got married, had 2 kids of their own, and are still happy together 2 decades later. If you love the other person, you don’t see them as baggage. I’d still marry my wife if she had kids from a previous marriage.

@sagepirotess6312 2 года назад

My wife was 22 when I met her. I am 12 years older. We are a happy married couple.

@GhislaineMutombo 2 года назад

My dad was 14 years older than my mom. She was in her teens when they married. Yes they loved each other and had 4 kids...she still lost out on growing into herself, we are talking about maturity here. Think about that space and time that btw you'll never get back. Early years are your only alone time where you get to know yourself and and mold in to you. Love my parents but lets be honest here.

@ReddingRed 3 года назад

I'm 56 and I'd have a problem dating a 42 year old! I think the guy wanting to date a 21-year-old shows that he has some serious problems. What in the world do they have to converse about that is any deeper than a sheet of paper laying on a table.

@rockycomet4587 3 года назад

@Al Freydeaux um, I'm pretty sure she went to prison. That doesn't sound like "societal acceptance".

@rockycomet4587 3 года назад

@Al Freydeaux she did

@culinaryjen 3 года назад

She went to jail.

@karenmassey8354 3 года назад

@Al Freydeaux Google is FREE. Mary K went to jail for a long time for her crimes against the boy.

@technomage6736 3 года назад

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that it makes the guy (or older woman sometimes) feel younger himself to be with a younger girl. There's a certain type of vibe and playfulness, or sense of adventure, that seems to gradually decline with age with most people. Feeling young again is surely one of the appeals to date someone younger.

@joekr9424 3 года назад

Many people commenting on age, this call was way less about age and way more about maturity. You could hear in here voice they way she answered questions that she likely was not mature enough especially since he had an 11 year old. Some 21 year old girls are more mature and ready to settle down and it is hard to find men at 21 that want to settle down. Age is not the issue here.

@lisbethturbi331 3 года назад

I don’t believe in dating for the fun... even if you are 21... please have healthy friendships at this age...

@m.a.156 3 года назад

She has no agency at all, she just does what other people tell her to do ... which is fine, to try to please everyone around you, but sometimes you need to pick sides, so it's better to know what you really want, in order to know what side to go on

@frumpusnumpus 3 года назад

Based on her description of the boyfriend, he sounds decent. However, her immaturity is so glaring. So that makes me wonder what type of grown 'decent' man/father would go for an obviously inexperienced and immature girl. It's not about the age anymore. Age wise, she's an adult. But mentally speaking, she's not there yet. And any grown man that will date this type of girl knowing fully well that she is not ready for all that he comes with (including an 11yr old child!), is not decent. He is hoping she is too immature, dazed about being an adult and inexperienced to notice and or call him out on all his nonsense. And she is just that. I am sure a truly grown woman won't put up with his mess so he goes for the younger ones.

@prolifemama 3 года назад

My parents are 7 years apart. My dad had 2 little kids from a previous marriage. My grandpa was ANGRY. He wouldn't speak to my mom and she still lived in his house. My parents just celebrated their 30th anniversary. My dad is an amazing husband and father. You know what my dad did? Without my mom even knowing he went to my grandpa's house and sat down with him. They had a heart to heart and my grandpa and my dad had an amazing relationship after that!

@traceycancio1795 3 года назад

7 years isn't alot.

@gogo6189 3 года назад

7 years isn’t a lot

@prolifemama 3 года назад

@NurturingTalents except when it isn't. My point is that her dad and boyfriend need to sit down and have a conversation. Perhaps her dad's opinion will change after meeting him. Maybe it won't! But he can't form an opinion without ever even meeting the guy.

@prolifemama 3 года назад

@@Austenfan177 first family? My mom legally adopted his first two children so we are all a family. Again, I understand the concern. I'm just offering a perspective from someone who's the product or a wonderful marriage that initially set off alarm bells for a protective father 😉

@Justsayingthat 3 года назад

Statistics say that a 7 year difference is the most people should have. Beyond that, things seem to be harder on relationships.

@Elizabethatthebeach 3 года назад

I feel like John is trying to convince her to stay with him.. But she says over and over she wants to listen to her Dad... So, she should. Any way,, A guy with his age and parenting responsibilities of an 11 yr old dating a 21 yr old, who has no kids?.. They are in different worlds... Just because he's a nice guy, doesn't mean he's the one for her..🤪

@Justsayingthat 3 года назад

Seen kids that have not respected the very young step parent because they could not get past the small age difference.

@TheRachag 3 года назад

Although she is grown statistically they may have more issues with the age differences as they both age.

@mariek.474 3 года назад

I made the same mistake when I was 20, and left the guy after 1 year of dating (he had no kids but many issues that I haven't seen at first) : the brain's frontal lobe simply isn't in its final form to help you see the situation as a whole and make calculated decisions when you're that young. Dad might be right being weirded out and although age differences in relationships between *adults* aren't necessarily pathological, she sounds like she is already uncomfortable with it and waiting to be sure to end it.

@lini4865 3 года назад

Yup that's true! 💯

@purplelove3666 2 года назад

But you can drive without having a calculated brain?. I was never attracted to old men. When I was 20. Am 31 and i am still not into the average older man. Don't blame yout frontal brain for the dumb decisions. We all know wrong from right .amd certain circumstances are not believable to some people unless they go through the expereince, your brain has 0 to do with it. And I don't encourage dating

@seekingthemiddleway4048 2 года назад

Ask yourself if you want to be his carer one day.

@jeep19 3 года назад

She sounds immature, young, and gullible! The traits these old dudes look for... and I think she's lying 🤥 when she says she loves her family more and trusts her dad's 👌 opinion 👍

@BassPlayer60134 3 года назад

Without hearing his POV I am assuming he is a decent guy that just happened to hit it off with a 21yo. It is very possible, though, her immaturity makes her seem like an easy target.

@BassPlayer60134 3 года назад

@NurturingTalents I don’t think there’s anything at all wrong with a (truly) single parent dating and getting remarried. Quite the opposite.

@ethan4048 3 года назад

@NurturingTalents were you born this stupid or did you descend to that level over time?

@morgancondie9039 3 года назад

My fiancé is 36 and I am 22. We met at college and studied the same degree. We have the same passions, morals, and values. He does not have any kids with any other woman. He has a career and so do I, in the same field. It took my family some time, but now they all absolutely love him as much as I do. Age doesn’t matter as much as maturity, love, and respect does.

@DBest-pk2tr 3 года назад

My husband is thirteen years older than me and we've been happily married for almost 30 years.

@RosaEstanli 3 года назад

As long as you aren't manipulated.

@BassPlayer60134 3 года назад

I don’t see any issue with that. Good for you. And especially good for him! :p

@whochairs 3 года назад

You're only 22. Just because it's worked for a little bit doesn't mean you're the model for all relationships

@jayrezvani3821 2 года назад

@@whochairs If you read the last sentence in OP's comment, you'd see that's not what she's saying; she's saying maturity and values are more important than the number of someone's age. Without any other information, age can give a rough approximation of one's level of maturity, values, etc, but just because there is a somewhat strong correlation, doesn't mean those metrics are tightly coupled. It would be like only using GDP to say how well an economy is doing, or just using fasted blood glucose to determine if someone is diabetic; it is a good initial indicator to dig deeper, but it doesn't paint the whole picture.

@julias1340 3 года назад

This was intruiging. When I was younger I used to date older guys because I thought hey were “mature”. Turns out they were 12 yo in a 3-something year old body. I ended up marrying my husband at 23, and he is a year younger than me. I think because we were both young we grew together and matured together and sort of molded each other in a way. It was harder to do that with my exes because, well, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I’m 28 now. It’s been 5 years and it’s the best decision I ever made.

@KVW110 3 года назад

The fact he is a first boyfriend concerns me more than the age gap. I married my first ever boyfriend at 21. We divorced. 10 years later I have a boyfriend who is 13 years older than me. He has a daughter 9 years younger than me. We get along well together. I was dumb at 21.

@jaysmith6013 3 года назад

When I was 35... I literally could not even imagine dating a 21 year old. That just sounds awful and weird, especially one as immature as her

@JoeGarofaloII 3 года назад

The title of this video is priceless 🤣 also, good job dad for looking out for your daughter!

@LPS-ww4wl 3 года назад

I was 25 when I married my husband to be he was 38 . A family member said it wouldnt work . But it did,and we were very happy. Sadly after 11 years of marriage I lost him to cancer.. I looked after him at home when family said put him in a hospice . If he walked thru the door id re marry him in a heart beat . Its how people relate , not numbers

@laurenalmeyda6916 3 года назад

Age is not just a number. A successful marriage is where 2 people grow TOGETHER.

@Mr_Fairdale 3 года назад

I'm 37 and dating a 24 year old. She doesn't sound like a child like this girl. I also don't have a kid. Neither of us do. Take these age gap relationships on a case by case basis, please. Bc mine doesn't look like this.

@sharonfleshman6961 3 года назад

24 is certainly different than 21. She doesn't sound like she is living on her own and paying her own bills. If a 24 year old is independent in her mind and life, it makes a world of difference in

@johnmartin4641 3 года назад

@@LA-wv7gf I think it’s good that she’s with her first boyfriend. That’s better than having a long string of failed relationships and it means that she makes good choices.

@Nah-ah 3 года назад

I don’t see a problem with your relationship, whether 35 and 21 or 37 and 24! The key issue here is the young lady sounds extremely immature and she for sure as heck shouldn’t be dating someone like him. No offense to him but it just sounds like he’s adopting a child to be a sibling to his son, like seriously! He’s gotta be the grown up like he should and realise that!

@jaysmith6013 3 года назад

Girl run for the hills you’re not ready for this kind of drama

@judymckee5992 3 года назад

Girl, this guy is too old for you and he should know better! I made the same mistake when i was young and married him. He bullied me around, controlling and our wave length is miles apart. I still want to go movies, disco but all he wants to do , is sit by the TV and have me serving him.

@ryanj357 3 года назад

You just chose the wrong guy. Don't write a guy off just because of age. It's just a number.

@judymckee5992 3 года назад

@@ryanj357 , That is just some nonsense, reality is different.

@ryanj357 3 года назад

@@judymckee5992 As long as they both consent to it and they're not breaking the law I don't see what the problem is.

@bres9977 3 года назад

Exactly. I would never want my daughter to go through that. Stick to someone your own age or your own stage.

@sarah8579 3 года назад

I dated an older guy at 18 (Not as old as him) and I thought I was doing the right thing. I was so immature back then. I can tell she needs to grow and mature on her own. Girl - you are so young. Don't rush into things. You will thank yourself later.

@MrFrugalFrank 3 года назад

My 42 year old niece was dating a 57 year old man.. I was 62 and while talking with me she ask how old I was and then she had a revelation( I could see it in her eyes).. I never said anything but within a week they broke up.. So hard to sometimes see things in life while standing in the middle of it.. Just Sayin

@charlestolley2294 3 года назад

John is so good at taking the callers' side right of the bat so they feel heard

@jamieolivarez9083 3 года назад

This just sounds like a train wreck and I too as a parent with a daughter her age. I’m 43 and I’d have an issue too. There is still a boundary in the early 20 something phase in dating I feel. Because maturity is still not fully settled in. So when you are dating you are still learning too much. When dating an older man it can be a manipulative situation and you just never understand what their true intentions are. Plus, the age GAP is just that. It will always be there and the compatibility will ultimately bring to light the lack of common interest in each other.

@willelliott5052 3 года назад

She doesn't see the baggage that she will inevitably have to share with him.

@johnmartin4641 3 года назад

How could anyone view a child as baggage? If she loves him, which I assume she does considering she’s dating him, then she would never see his child as baggage. There’s a couple I’m friends with that have a somewhat big age gap. He had 2 kids from a previous marriage and they got married and had 2 kids of their own and they’re still together 2 decades later and they’re happy.

@kellyje11y 3 года назад

Your partner shared precious moments of creating a life together with someone else. Those are very strong experiences - how can it not be a baggage in a new relationship?

@willelliott5052 3 года назад

@@johnmartin4641 It is best for young women who have not yet begun families to avoid men with family baggage. They are not yet mature enough to see that they are unnecessarily complicating their lives at an early age. And I say this as a man who was a custodial single parent at 21. Maybe if/when you have grown daughters you will understand.

@kellyje11y 3 года назад

@@willelliott5052 I think you misunderstood my comment. I was agreeing with you.

@willelliott5052 3 года назад

@@kellyje11y Ha, I overlooked the word "not". I will delete.

@yvonnemclaughlin4324 3 года назад

I would really like to know Why this is her first boyfriend ? She seems very sheltered by her family. There is so much more to her situation!

@23magneta 3 года назад

She acts just like a typical 21 year old including those who have had a couple of relationships. There's nothing wrong with having your first relationship at 21.

@johnmartin4641 3 года назад

Because she’s competent, makes good choices, and refuses to set herself up for failure. I did the same thing. I watched these fools at my high school and junior high school date for a few weeks-a few months and break up and they would go from one failed relationship to another. I thought that was a stupid waste of time and that those people were incompetent and incapable of making good choices. I decided that I wasn’t going to date anyone unless I was 100% sure I wanted to marry them because what’s the point if I don’t want to marry them. I refused to fail because I despise failure and didn’t want to look incompetent and incapable of making good choices because I’m a perfectionist. I had never dated anyone. Then my junior year of high school, I met my wife and I was 100% sure I wanted to marry her, I did end up dating her and marrying her, and we’re still married to this day.

@user-me8hc3bs7i 3 года назад

I feel like glossing over the fact that this is the girls first boyfriend was a big part of this.

@johnmartin4641 3 года назад

It’s a good thing that it’s her first boyfriend. That’s better than having a long string of failed relationships and it means she makes good choices and doesn’t set herself up for failure.

@bres9977 3 года назад

I wouldn’t change a thing but as someone who married at 22 years old, don’t rush. Enjoy being an adult and don’t rush to give up your freedom because you may look back and wish you’d done things differently.

@mysticlight5846 3 года назад

When my parents married in 1964 my dad was 40 and my my mom was 28 they only dated 8 months before getting married

@chezshirecat1872 3 года назад

I was 20 and was dating a 30 year old, I knew I didn’t want this to be forever. An older person might want to be more serious, vs being younger and wanting to see life for a bit.

@bres9977 3 года назад

Absolutely.

@Justsayingthat 3 года назад

I had a guy 10 years my senior tell me he wants a young woman so when he gets old she can take care of him. Selfish! How about taking care of each other?

@carylhalfwassen8555 3 года назад

That is the secondary thought older men have about marrying a younger woman, like a decade or more younger. Even better if the woman has some assets to bring to the marriage; a nurse and a purse.

@Foxie770 2 месяца назад

Because women do the caretaking of men, on average. It’s not selfish it just is! Men provide the resources so women can do the nurturing.

@Justsayingthat 2 месяца назад

@Foxie770 this only works in a household where only the man works. He anticipates that he will be sickly and wants a caregiver.

@belindagarza3958 3 года назад

Sounds like it was fine with her until he started talking about the future. She just didn’t have the courage to tell him that she wasn’t ready to go there with him so she’s using the “my family doesn’t approve” excuse.

@TomiaMacQueen 2 года назад

Met my husband of 23 years around this same age. He's 30 yrs older than I am and I dont regret it. It takes a LOT of forethought and the fact that she has to ask this question, this way, means she isn't ready for this.

@thedarkstar7045 Месяц назад

She asked the question because she actually has a father figure TO teach her, unlike you. 😂

@rebeccaoprea9917 3 года назад

Seems fine now , wait till she grows up and he’s old .

@BassPlayer60134 3 года назад

2 concerns: The fact that he has an 11yo daughter and that this is her first boyfriend. He is clearly several steps ahead on life than her. In his defense, though, he may not realize that her immaturity puts her at a disadvantage. I am 38. If I met a 24yo and hit it off it would not even occur to me that it might be imbalanced unless someone pointed it out.

@sagepirotess6312 2 года назад

I call bs. You were socially conditioned to think its taboo or bad. Vietnamese in vietnam and America have on average a decade age gap. And 15% divorce rate. It's a culture that defines wh as t you accept and do. Not a age . My wife is 12 years younger.

@Hswamp2008 3 года назад

Dads right on this one, mostly because of the kid the boyfriend already has. This man should be putting the needs of his 11 year old first. If its meant to be, they can date when his daughter has grown and moved out.

@reginaldrichardson4151 3 года назад

How does that make sense? Is he not supposed to date until his daughter moves out?

@johnmartin4641 3 года назад

That’s horrible and stupid. I’m friends with a couple with a somewhat big age difference. He had 2 young kids from a previous marriage, they got married and had 2 kids of their own and they’re still happy together 2 decades later. If she loves him, which I assume she does considering they’re dating, then it won’t bother her that he has a kid and she will grow to love his kid. Why wait 7 years and risk him getting away? That’s just dumb.

@aurthordunne 2 года назад

@Arwyn bingo.

@KrystleLaughter 3 года назад

Listen to your dad!

@_becareful 3 года назад

As someone who started dating later than my peers in my 19-20 you haven’t formed the experience to know what or what you don’t want from a man heck you barely even build boundaries and through learning and experience you set them and find better relationships

@jmc8076 3 года назад

She sounds young and very unsure. I was in a similar situation. However I was 27 and he was 15 years older w/3 kids. It’s 26 years later and we’re still together. I will say my dad was right with some of the challenges we’ve had. But then all marriages have them. If the caller reads this which she prob won’t but if others in her position do please think twice. It’s a lot to date and get into a relationship with an older person with a child. I love my husb and I did the best I could as a stepmother (a young one) but it was very hard at times. Pls enjoy your youth and be careful.

@mattysheehan9786 2 месяца назад

“Why are you questioning it?” Really..? When he was her age, she was 7.

@charlestolley2294 3 года назад

This girl has a great father

@pupasarus 3 года назад

It's amazing when Dads date a girl that is as old as his daughter everyone is ok with it, but the opposite troubles abound.

@MarlinRoth 3 года назад

I doubt everyone is okay with dads dating women as young as their daughters, because I think that is creepy and borderline pedophilic. Leonardo DiCaprio has never dated anyone over the age of 25 and coincidentally has broken up with girls before they turned 25. I think he is 40 or so now.

@reginasemenenko148 Год назад

@@MarlinRoth Who cares who Leo dates? She should listen to her Dad who happens to be her parent.

@Foxie770 2 месяца назад

Men who date women that young and have a child not far off in age have some deep psychological issues. My dad left my mom for a girl who was just 5 years older than me when I was 15. Dad was 62. Turns out, he’d already been committing fornication and adultery with her since she was 16.

@Foxie770 2 месяца назад

@@MarlinRothhe’s in his 50’s by now

@Kelli-ru7yy 2 месяца назад

I was 20 when I dated my 33 year old boyfriend...I wish someone said it was wrong. Because it was. Ended in abuse. Not saying all these situations do. But things to consider: -Why isn't he dating someone his age? Trust the older women, they aren't dating him for a reason. What are they? -Do you fully know what red flags and green flags are? There are a lot of things men do that they get away with younger women that aren't good. They are red flags. There are a lot of green flags to look out for. Ask your dad what the green flags are. Seems like he cares. Ask the older women in your life too and your friends. -Have you seriously considered the age gap? . You won't have as much in common. You'll have more energy than him. You are in different phases in your life. Even if you try to mature you will still be in different phases. -Did you know your brain isn't fully developed till age 25? Dating someone your age and growing together is different than dating someone who knows who they are while you're trying to discover yourself. They will most likely try to mold you hiw they want you to be. Rather than let you grow into your own person.

@clarifyingquestions 3 года назад

I am with dad here. I would not be thrilled if my 21 year old son was dating a 35 year old woman with or without an 11 year old child.

@Help_me_understand 3 года назад

No! You are not making the right decision! Run!

@Thecraftyblacksheep 2 года назад

Your dad is right!

@k4949 3 года назад

The older you get the less age differences matter. But 15 years is a significant age difference. And a 20 year old dating a 35 year old is kind of weird. You change so much from 20 to 35.

@fibbs6533 2 года назад

It matters the least in middle age. It matters again as old age approaches. There is a big difference between a 60 year old and a 75 year old.

@sagepirotess6312 2 года назад

I met my wife when she was 22, I was 34. I married her a decade later, 2020. No regrets.

@lorriegallardo8053 2 года назад

I have a friend that met her boyfriend at 18 he was 39. They had a whirlwind relationship. Her family loved him but also had the same concerns. They married and eventually had twins. She is 60yo now and still happily married. But she will be the first to tell you it's unusual and statistics tell you it doesn't work.

@bethanybrowne3803 3 года назад

She is so young...not immature but just young. This is her first boyfriend too. I fear she is in over her head.

@cheyenneharrison4985 3 года назад

I was 18 with a child and dating a 32 year old. He was fresh out of medical school. Parents thought this was a good deal since he was a Dr. and I was a teenage parent. Needless to say, I went my own direction and we are still friends. He’s never been married and still states that I’ve always been in his heart.

@200mariahcarey 3 года назад

Are you married now?

@elizabethblane201 2 года назад

If she wants a child when she is 30, he will be 44, and his own daughter will be 20. Will he be willing to start over again raising children?

@Foxie770 2 месяца назад

Why would she want to wait until 30 to have children? Once you find your husband, women generally want to have kids. 30 is too old to start, early 20’s is the perfect age to start having children as a woman.

@tarim2822 2 месяца назад

And men no way is 30 for a woman to to young start having kids 😂like that do laughable 😅 if you want to date a 14 year old who has just started her period say so. But 30 is the prime for a women..please dont use red biology.

@intuitive_duck 3 года назад

There's gotta be more than an age gap making her dad think it's a bad idea.

@nelsonoliveira1007 3 года назад

You can always be friends and see where the future takes you. Would have been different if he had no children.

@cooverbennett4383 3 года назад

Wow, first time I actually agree with Doc. 👍

@dannytheman2217 3 года назад

Trust your gut but also consider what your love ones say. Decide for yourself because you dont want to have regret

@IDK-py1ib 3 года назад

If you’re letting your dad talk you out of dating someone then you’re too immature for the 35 year old

@keepitreelcatfishing5883 3 года назад

“We serve our church together.” Yes , sister don’t bring forth that argument. That is the breeding ground for hypocrites

@alanparedes2034 2 года назад

I was 50 and married a 37 year old. Best thing that ever happened to me. 12 years and 2 kids later, and I don't regret it and neither does she.

@privacyplease1556 6 месяцев назад

37 and 50 are very different than 18 and 31. It’s not just about the gap. It’s about the stage in life

@Foxie770 2 месяца назад

37 is NOT 21.

@bradleymaravalli2851 3 года назад

Very, very curious about what Jessica's relationship is like with her boyfriend's daughter.

@midonna3134 3 года назад

Guaranteed this guy is preying on a vulnerable young girl. Her dad is 100% right. Also, I think God is telling her it isn't right, but this guy is in het ear.

@johnmartin4641 3 года назад

Age doesn’t matter. Friends of mine have a somewhat big age difference and they’ve been married for over 2 decades.

@reginasemenenko148 Год назад

My husband and I would not allow it and my husband would confront him.

@megalopolis2015 3 года назад

Their age gap might not be a big deal, as long as their overall outlook, worldview, and life goals match up. What concerns me most is the boyfriend's daughter. She needs a lot more consideration in this. Will a college age young lady just figuring out who she is be able to be there and properly model strong character to this preteen girl? Also, will the changes that will occur in her over the next few years make her more or less compatible and desirable to the guy? If they end up being serious about this relationship, hopefully they can figure it out during premarital counseling, or meeting with a pastor.

@minervagalvez4748 3 года назад

21 verses 35? YIKES!!! 😱😱😱😱 SWEETHEART, BE WITH A YOUNG MAN WHERE YOU CAN EXPERIENCE ALL THAT LIFE IS GOING TO OFFER YOU AT 21 NOT 35. LISTEN TO YOUR DAD 👨 PLEASE, LISTEN TO YOUR FATHER.

@richieandmona 2 месяца назад

First response to the 21 yo caller dating a 35 yo man was “Alriiiiiight!” Why? A few minutes later, she’s “just a baby, a baby girl.” If ya think she’s a “baby girl” and “just a kid,” why in the world encourage this? It’s disturbing. 🤦🏻‍♀️

@mikemcallen2212 3 года назад

Dads tend to forget to let go. I'm 28 and I have siblings who are 30, 25, and 24 years old. Our dad is just now slowing down on telling us what should do with our lives. My wife and I are moving away soon and he (my mom included) are trying to convince us otherwise. As much as I love them, my respect has dwindled because of the consistent "life advice."

@sarcasm2960 3 года назад

Those are just parents, My father lives with me and my wife whom I have a child with. In the past he has tried to continually give not so good advice to us about how we should raise our kid and I drew the line for him because the old ways are long gone and filled with ignorance . Dont intervene in the politics of a home where you are being provided shelter or dont bite the hand that feeds you, sounds alot better.

@brianadams6204 3 года назад

im 50 and my wife is 39 we have been married 10 years together 13 never had any problems Thank GOD for that.

@zohrawaiz 3 года назад

I am 35 and I am intending to marry a 50 years old guy... he is well educated and a moral person. He is in good health. I have no idea if age difference is going to make a problem.

@elizabethtimothy4776 3 года назад

Yours is only 11 years apart, moreover, you are both at a matured age of 29/40; both of you have experienced life a bit. This young lady is bearly out of school, this is her first relationship, seems not to know what she wants out of life yet, the man's child could be her baby sister, her case is more than age gap!

@TomiaMacQueen 2 года назад

I had to pull my car over when she said this was the first guy that she's ever dated.. DONT DO IT. As a woman married to a man 30yrs her senior, trust me, get used to men your own age first. An older man will run circles around most younger inexperienced women. And yes, ask dad to go have a drink with him asap.

@andrewf.1598 3 года назад

This girl needs to grow up, she’s 21 acting like a 13 year old

@dekeyserdekes373 3 года назад

John's progressively enlarging smile starting at 1:10 cracked me up

@truckingwithtobee 3 года назад

My husband is almost 9 years older. We’ve been married for 30 years this month.

@elizabethlangheim7214 3 года назад

She keeps saying she wants to follow her Dad’s advice. Why does he say to keep in the relaxant have the men hash it out in a meeting together. She sounds immature and doesn’t need to be with this guy.

@SimplyFitwithJay 3 года назад

That man is old enough to be her dad. He is going to run so much game on her.

@BassPlayer60134 3 года назад

A little math...yeah I guess you could be a dad at 14 but yeesh. Btw, the youngest mother in history gave birth at 5 years old. By that logic, is 5 years too big a gap?

@redcomic619 3 года назад

BassPlayer60134 No because it’s not logical to assume a prepubescent human can reproduce. That girl who gave birth at 5 was the victim of horrible abuse. She was a biological anomaly as well. But I would say 15 years old is old enough to say “old enough to be ones dad/mom.”

@user-ok6ef9zn4f 3 года назад

@@Austenfan177 Women are more apt to take care of children. I doubt it's a big issue for her.

@ryanj357 3 года назад

You don't think a man is going to run game on a woman his own age? You're delusional if you think that way. Women run game on men all of the time.

@starlingswallow 3 года назад

My husband is 11 years older than me and I know what this entails~ we are happier than two pigs in slop! ❤️💕😍 My family was concerned but Its my heart and my choice! If your family loves you, they will respect your choice. What's YOUR opinion girl? It's your life, you're an adult, you can make choices that go against your caring family ☺️

@sagepirotess6312 2 года назад

Same boat my wife 12 years younger. We are a happy family .

@skip123davis 3 года назад

really great advice. the old man and the stud need to have a chat. not all men are wired that way. sometimes they need a little prodding. um, i meant "suggestions" from the women folk that are around them.

@claramorrow7046 3 года назад

If caller reads this. Don’t marry the first person you meet. Date around, meet different people. You may think you love him but there is so much more out there. You’re already questioning things and that will only continue