My Husband Watches Too Much YouTube and Won’t Get a Real Job 

Glad you got better . My husband is doing this on his off days it’s making me insane

​@@weekendnomad5038 I was the same way with video games. I found a single player game I loved and it wasn't long before it was boring. I dont play games any more, but it took a while to actually lose interest.

Congratulations!!!

Hmm.. currently that myself..

​@@tcgggggsame here man lol on RU-vid all day

so the moral of the story is to continue to enable him until he decides to grow up?

@@jones2277 I don't really know if there is a moral to the story, except that my mother chose to stand by him until he was ready to make a change. I'm under no illusions this was the best or the only way for my parents to come back together, but they did manage to come out to the other side of their problems and are now happier than ever.

@@LOLZHAHANOTFUNNY ok. fair enough. bc i've seen the worst possible outcome too.

Kinda sounds like your high school graduation awakened something in him. Life changes tend to do that to a lot of us. Glad it worked out for your parents.

Have you come out normal?

Right no where in the Bible it says for us to be lazy . In the Bible it speaks of sluggards

I've known a lot of people who have devoted a lot of time to various ministries and they ALL took care of their responsibilities first.

Yes, that part!

What if my man works good ass off every day for a terrible job and has no drive to get better for himself and me?? He has a great work ethic but accepts crumbs from employers doesn't fight for his worth

somtimes he is just depressed and need ur help u dont haver to be a mom but just show him some compassion

​@@lazybeastz182if a man is depressed and lazy, he's not ready for a relationship and should work on himself first or he will end up being a liability to his wife and kids

@@hannahnymous i would date a girl if she was lazy but hot its all about how sexual you are

@@lazybeastz182don’t have time for it . Women have to preserve their youth & beauty, not play therapist & have the life sucked out of them by some depressed loser. It’s your life HE needs to get help.

It is...

Better do better man

Haha 😂

I asked that to my ex " would you want your daughters to be treated this way?" and he said "I don't care" needless to say he is my ex

No!!!! Copeland needs another jet😅

Religion is a man-made construct designed to control people.

There is something called "balance"

​@@superblump87religion is for lazy people it has some good but it should be balanced

Good job! God created men to be providers and protectors. And if a man is called for marriage, being a provider and protector is his primary obligation to God. God hates lazy and deadbeat husbands and fathers

👏🏻🙌🏻

Yes! Husband is to care for and love wife like Jesus loves his bride- the body of Christ which are the believers!

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

It took me so long to realize this, but it is so true! I quit my job in a church ministry because of the negative impact it had on my mental well-being and thus on my husband.

I doubt money is the only issue here.

@Angel same 🤣

It also says in the Bible, if you don't work neither shall ye eat! All the original disciples worked! The take care of your household is for people who are truly disabled or too old to work.

That's not awareness that's brainwashing. He's told her everything is her fault until she believes it. If she stops paying his bills he will find the next one to pay instead. The only one enabling him is him. My ex husband was like this. He lived with a new girlfriend within weeks of our separation, has been married two more times and is engaged to a third one. Men like this have choosen mooching as their career.

@@brendamoon2660 Your response is insightful. Thank you.

Somewhat, but she thinks that her husband not finding a job is her fault. It's not. It's HIS responsibility.

@@brendamoon2660 Oh boy I’m so sorry! I hope things are better now! Right, I think this woman definitely was brainwashed in some way. Hope she gets things figured out

No, he could be a Biden Supporter. But she is readying to leave.

He's not depressed he's from Portland. He's a fully functional idiot who can't seem to actually do life.

I quite agree. He has depressive syndrome.

He's just a loser with 9 million excuses.

@@raptorblarg2284 Ever been to Portland? People are happier there than in the South/midwest where people fake their happiness.

I know a woman who is going through this. Her husband has been fired from 2 high paying jobs. And he's cheating! I wish she would leave but she doesn't want to be "single"😑.

@@starrjohnson1327 why are women so brainwashed in this society to be afraid or ashamed of being single? I really just don't get it at all.

@@joymattson8549 I believe it is peer pressure and society "standards". I notice that many people follow what others do. It is not easy to stand alone. Many people secretly want to be brave enough to do something but they are afraid of the backlash-gossip, shaming, being looked down upon. It is sad

@@starrjohnson1327the way i see it - the haters are already talking trash might as well do whats best for you - plus it gives those boring haters a new topic since their lives are so pathetic the highlight is just gossiping about others 😂

​@@starrjohnson1327 Well that's when u have to decide is my peace or other people's opinion about my life choices more important.

That is true!

Oof… you are so right. If he has never been, she can’t really expect him to be a totally different person now

Exactly! She dated him, married him, and etc. What did she expect? I won't believe that she didn't have other options of men who worked their butts off but chose to go with the bum.

@@RandomPerson-nd2ey Exactly! Most women don’t date enough to have other options or they choose a partner hoping they improve after saying ‘I do’ and then want to complain about marriage in general. No, the vetting process was off.

@@unlisted333 I agree 💯!! But as I navigate the “Menosphere” content on RU-vid, men hate the idea that women dating around and see it as a problem bc they believe women sleep around and that’s not attractive at all! And then they blame women for choosing the wrong guy when they run into these problems! I’ve dated around a fair bit until I found a good, hardworking, salt of the earth man. I think women SHOULD date around in order to find a good man.

@@erichmutchler3262 It is totally possible for couples to take on non-traditional gender roles. It works when both parties are CLEAR about the relationship dynamic that they desire upfront. Here’s the thing, most of the career women out there working like crazy and taking care of a growing family went with the flow and didn’t foresee the burnout they’ll experience after 5 to 10 years of managing all of those expectations. Point is, be honest and find a person who is compatible and don’t force it. Problem solved.

Lol “white rice in my salad” 🥗

When you confuse a wife with his mother.

dont blame the wife his momma taught him that how to manipulate

Yeah the wife shouldnt have to act as his mommy. Hes a grown man who needs to take responsibility

Maybe he could make a channel.

Why are you still there?

Have you talked to your spouse about this? Or do you like to be the martyr?

& you haven’t moved on because?

I agree...this is what gives her control over the internet account and other goodies he likes.

❤

Nope it's not a monologue and a lot of the times, the back history is irrelevant.

There's only so much time and they've heard the same thing before many times. So they can quickly see where the callers are going and just cut through the windup to get to the meat.

That’s usually the root of situations like these. Adult men and women don’t know how to take care of themselves when they are babied by their parents. Then they will manipulate their spouse into being a surrogate parent. It’s very difficult to get someone out of these life long behaviors.

If she takes care of the kids and house it is not a question or issue.

@@larissagonzales6075ok lol

Yes, it's like someone told him to be more aggro or something. If that's true it was a bad note. He's trying too hard.

Lots of interrupting the callers lately…. 😬

Like a rude, sarcastic know-it-all

@@hadenanderson563 Gotta watch out for that when you have two PhDs!

What, John can't be human like the rest of us? Maybe it's an off day for him, or something happened in his personal life. Despite what I got told while working customer service, you cannot just switch off when you walk in the door.

You're out of the gene pool, congratulations! 🎉

I don't understand what getting married and having kids has to do with fire. You could marry someone who also shares the fire vision. I know fire couples do have children. Please stop letting your dismissive avoidant attachment trauma make decisions for you.

Sounds miserable & lonely actually

@@chiobabe2180 Luckily you’re not me and I’m not you then.

@@mjfraser04 absolutely!

In 61? If he is good don't leave him but don't pay him any money and test him if he only wants you for money then he is jerk but if he is not he is good person just lazy

This is exactly what I wanted to say.

@Wyatt Borden I re-read my comment you replied to, and I realize it was worded to sound very opinionated. I've started 3 successful businesses -- all going the route that described in my comments. The first two I grew, then sold, and I'm still working on my current one. It's always possible I may sell it or keep it. I think I was responding in an opinionated way based on the story in this video. And while I still am a big fan of starting businesses the way I described (working on them on the side while working a full-time job), I've also met plenty that like the "burn the ships" strategy of quitting their job so they're forced to go full-on into whatever business they're starting. These are the people that give themselves no options so they do whatever it takes to get their business successful (even if it means working 80 hours a week). These people will typically have a well-thought out plan before doing it. I think the point I was really getting at for the person talked about in this video is that he was making excuses not to work because he was working on a non-profit. Maybe that was truly the case. The problem is that in this case, it wasn't paying the bills, and his wife had to work, resulting in her feeling like he spends all of his time working on a "hobby" that doesn't do anything for the family, and she has to take on all the extra work. Maybe this was something that he started where he quit his job to start a non-profit, but he didn't have any parameters on how long he should be working on it until it is determined that it is no longer viable. I've had failed ventures myself. I always have a plan on how long I work on them and at what point I determine it is not worth it anymore. This saves so much time rather than spinning your wheels on something that never pans out. In short, I realize my initial response might have been overly opinionated. I understand that there are other ways to start a business. I just have seen so many talk about starting businesses who have not done any research, resulting in them failing. This isn't bad, but it is bad for someone to rely on another person to pay for their lives. In this case, the husband was expecting his wife to do all the work while he worked on a venture that was not going anywhere. Have you started any successful businesses going a different route? I typically like commenting on videos because I like hearing other perspectives and what other people do. How long do you think someone should work on a business before they determine it is not going anywhere? Just interested in your thoughts if you have any. (No worries if you don't -- people are busy, and responding on RU-vid typically is just for entertainment anyway).

​@@computerguy1579what the none profit? How can it be sussceful and bring money?

Ah you’d be a better host. Thank you.

I agree. Most healthy folks want to have a job and be successful.

But shes also not his Mom. Hes a grown man who should understand this on his own. It shouldn’t be on the wife to force her husband to do those things

@@troyspears6470 It's not about force. It's about boundaries, it's about tolerance. It's about how much the wife is willing to tolerate and she obviously tolerated her husband's laziness and lack of ambition for 15 years. She should've put a stop to it from the get go. She's just as much to blame as her lazy husband. It takes two to be in the relationship. If one is unwilling to tolerate such behaviors, then the other wouldn't be able to get away with it.

Wives spin-offs mission to their own husbands even if their own husband is an unbeliever to win him towards the Lord

Same and a business 😂😂😂

Same here. I love it 🤌

Oddly enough, the callers husband is basically just like you.. works part time and stays home w/ kids.

Yes, consistent conversations on expectations

@@whitneyw.7919I think she is upset too that he is spending more time on screens than engaging with her

💯👌🏾

@@whitneyw.7919 how? She said he doesn't work. And, to be honest, there is more issues at hand then just the job. Sounds like detachment.

It should go both ways.. lazy is lazy

They well say that the man is the problem why his wife is like that lol

My dad was like this, and I’ve known other men like this as well. They usually have jobs when they first start dating. Once they move in together or start having kids together, that’s when their true colors show. They’ll quit their job because or do things to get themselves fired. And then come up with every excuse for why they can’t find a new job. Some women will realize their partner ain’t the man she thought he was and move on without looking back, and some women will have a harder time moving on

😂😂😂😂 wake up call

Delony looked like a fool.

Yeah agreed. If this was turned around and a man was calling in with the same complaints I highly doubt Dr. D would be saying she is "shameful" or calling her a "child"

​@@snOags bs...

When has a woman ever say at home, done nothing, not cared for the kids, and just flubbed off all day? Women aren't built like that.

Because he is!

He's a loser and probably can't perform sexually.

Well he is. unless they agreed for him to stay at home to take care of the kids, he is lazy.

Surprised? John is a clear misandrist!

Yea he seems to be projecting

It's called feminism when it's the other way around

Men don’t know how to be men

@@auroramothergoddess real women work and take care of children

@@hanma7966 real women work and care for children ?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 tell me you’re broke without telling me

@@auroramothergoddess I may be broke but I have sugar mommies what do u have?? I don't even need to work hard

@L Cam You leave, that's what you do. It takes two to tango, so if you're dating a loser pos, then it's up to you to decide whether you are going to tolerate it or not. But this caller has been tolerating and enabling her husband's laziness for 15 years so she's just as much to blame as he is. She choose to marry and have kids with this man, knowing he lacks ambition. Both are at fault. It's not just one or the other. It takes two in a marriage.

A man decides whomand what he will be you are right no amount of begging, pleading , threats of walking out will change him only he can change him but you have a responsibility to yourself FIRST...a man who.will not loft a finger for formyeard is a child but he is not his womans child. Paralyzed from the neck down, a different story in a vegetative state different story..same goes for a man a woman who.refuses to lift a finger without a very valid health reason a man should not tolerate either.

It’s a living situation that is expected one way and called being immature the other way. I’m proud of this guy for letting the woman lead the way. They wanted it they got it. Play your videos games guys you owe society nothing.

​@@hoghs1 that is not how it works, when you have kids and are married. Those 2 decisions automatically mean you owe something to society. Stay single and don't procreate, if you don't want to be encumbered

Sounds like he is pulling his weight at home and you are just bitter because money is tight and you are the only earner. Maybe readjust your responsibility and look into him getting a part time job or you working more if you don’t want to do home things?!

What would it cost to have others take care of your autistic kids? Add that on to his contributions...

Do you want him to work? Who would take care of your special need kids? You? Sounds like he is doung what you would do if you stayed at home.

​@@sobeliever1638I wonder why she is not leaving him? Because he is doing the most difficult job in the world taking care of special needs kid

John is 99% wrong about this. He is giving this woman permission to divorce her husband because he doesn't earn what she thinks he should..

Yeah I'm not even done listening to it and I'm thinking this language is a little extreme. I mean "shameful"? Dr d. Heard her explanation for all of 5 seconds.

@@snOags Daddy Issues.... Think about it

I hope he heard this he needs a jolt of reality.

School is a BeforeTime concept.We no longer can rely on schools as a dependable child care solution. When a couple decides to have children there needs to be a recognition that those kids are a full time career. This is where a business boutique solution comes in.

@@jillpruett4772 what, r u saying every couple who has a child should have a stay at home parent. That’s stupid, how about getting a job and stop being lazy. If u can work from home then that perfectly fine, but not producing any income is disgraceful unless their disabled or mentally somethings wrong with them

@@marktheshark2569 I am saying that there needs to be realistic planning of careers for a couple that accommodates raising a family. The harsh reality that showed up with covid is that whoever is primary caregiver probably has less choice about earning. Maybe more likely to work the overnight shift or run a small business from home.

@@jillpruett4772 that’s perfectly fine but did u see the words you used which is what I said, they need to work in some capacity. Whether from home or part time key thing is actually working

@@jillpruett4772 Schools are very much a dependable thing. We’re not going to base our entire lives/career paths on a pandemic that comes once a blue moon and in this case, lasted 1.5 years. God ... imagine foregoing any career that can’t be done from home over a 15-20 year period JUST IN CASE... and then nothing happens.

Yea. Straight up simp.

@@JuancoPRoFlow 💯 I've noticed that about him.

Because men don’t matter to the blue pilled masses. Didn’t you know that our only purpose is to pay bills and die?

yup have to tell women what they want to hear.

he probably has that old-fashioned idea about men being providers and protectors.

It's the truth though. She can mention it briefly when overwhelmed but don't go into adult detail and make them therapists. But nothing wrong with saying why you're stressed in age appropriate way as we are human.

Shes enabling

Sound advice. Divorce with kids involved brings on a whole new set of challenges in addition to the ones she currently has. It’s one thing to get away from an abusive relationship, it’s another thing to use divorce for a better situation. Pursue things that make you happy within your marriage.

AGREE!

I like this perspective ... if your partner covers 25% of the household labor/child rearing and you cover 75% it’s not fair ... but it’s better than covering 100% on your own ... which is what you’ll get with divorce. But where’s the limit? the premise here is for her to ignore his behavior and just do her own thing ... but if he eventually does less and less ... does she stop cooking for him, doing his laundry, etc.? Of course she should still be polite with him, but does she still have to feel love for her partner or be physically intimate with him (hard to feel sexually attracted to a RU-vid addict who makes you pickup most of the household duties after a full time job).

@@UnAnonKnown The limit is where the unhappy person decides.

@@UnAnonKnown The premise is sacrificing for the greater good of raising kids in as stable of a home as possible. It's also about acknowledging that we are the constant in every relationship, and our happiness shouldn't depend on another person. The husband needs to find his own happiness and self pride. Sounds like he is depressed and needs to be seeking therapy.

The well is poisoned

He is not hiding it on his end either

@@daradee3593 Children do not realize that until someone tells them (that their dad s allegedly or really a deadbeat). Sounds like she is complaining or her parents. She chose that father for the girls she has not business burdening them with that shame.

@@xyzsame4081 I understand that the mother can protect the children and have them believe anything but what lesson does it teach the child ?

The kids have eyes

What a stupid comment

Offer him jobs and see if he takes jobs

@@fatemad4012 Not with him anymore.

Daddy Issues

Made it better

He was more fired up than usual. If people aren’t working they should be shot.

@@firefly9838 agree. And what is definition of ' working '? Most men have jobs that look more Iike work, then sitting around answering phone calls all day.

@@hebrews11vs5 as long as it’s back breaking work for very low wages. The human race needs to suffer. Under capitalism the poor will become the slaves. With no social programs they’ll be forced to work long grueling hours for little pay

Stop with the passive aggressive manipulative words...be truthful. Tell him the truth and be honest with them. Use your words and follow with action.

He's abusive verbally and emotionally and I lost my insurance and refuse to pay the doctor bills or do anything to help around the house just plays video games and watches videos all day his family drinks and smokes pot all day and goes after me if I don't let my dog see them and then my husband tells me he doesn't feel loved even though I stay by him when he's a child