r/Bestof My Boss Says I Must Undress in Front of Her 

When he said his manager said his bulge was "too big", i was expecting David Bowie as Jareth.....not that normal looking picture.😂

6:30 right here! They *literally* say straight up: “we don’t think your son is involved, but we want to look for evidence anyway.” They 100% are looking for a scapegoat.

The last story: that's a textbook manipulating toxic partner right there. Good for OP to leave that vile woman.

3rd story ex isn't just toxic. That behavior is outright dangerous. Get him to rely on her for more and more, and eventually cut him away from everyone he knows. Glad he left, running is definitely the best thing to do there.

1st story: I'm picturing his mom stumbling upon the 1st part of this story and thinking, "He doesn't need new pants. ...But, would it kill him to iron the ones he has?"

I'm pretty sure the boss is the kind of person who thinks that women can't abuse men. As in, they think it's impossible for things that they do to be perceived as abusing a man, even if the roles were reversed then they'd clearly see the abuse/harassment.

First story: Actually women do get told to wear things that cover their bust. I have been subjected to this many times as a big chested lady. Doesn't matter the gender, you can't decide to grow breasts or big private parts.

I facepalmed HARD when the boss said she was going to supervise the shopping.

Story 1 - "Would a woman with large breasts be told she can't wear anything but baggy clothes?" Yes. Yes she would. I have been told this before. Even worse 14 year olds are told they have to wear baggy clothes to school because their breasts developed earlier or faster than their peers. Literal 12 years olds being told they need to wear a bra it's literally sickening. Edit: A lot of people are replying with the very valid point that just because women get treated like this it's not okay to treat a man how he was treated and I agree. I'm sorry if people took my calling this out as lessening OP's experience. Neither situation is okay, I'm not trying to dismiss what happened to him, just like he shouldn't have dismissed the fact this happens to women too.

Yeah, that first story is ripe for a lawsuit. Good on OP for getting it in writing.

"She's the only one keeping me sane." This is a sign that someone is successfully gaslighting you. So much so, that they have you completely in the palm of their hand.

I'm so proud of OP from the last story. Leaving when you're actually in the relationship is extremely difficult, even when it seems easy from the outside. It takes a lot of courage. I'm proud of you, OP.

The sabotaging girlfriend is up there with the guy who was poisoning his wife with slugs.

that last story. ooof. that's extreme, glad op was able to leave safely. hopefully she doesn't try to retaliate against op. I mean if she's that set on ruining his life.

Second story: If the school were to merely request that OP share screenshots of the chat logs as opposed to turning over all of his social media passwords, that would actually come off as benevolent. Instead, they literally wanted full access to his private accounts, and there's no way that doesn't sound nefarious.

For the last story and the reasoning, 100% is what I believe, it’s like the reason they want to destroy their confidence is for they won’t leave them, almost like making a strong attachment to them so if they would ever think of leaving them, they would instantly second guess since they’ll lose their emotional or even physical support

Story 2: Yeah, handing over social logins is a breach of privacy, so they could've just asked for a testimony. If they were looking for a scapegoat, that's even worse because that basically means they don't really want to solve the issue the right way.

Story 2: There is no way this side of hell will i EVER surrender my kids devices , or any other devices access, passwords, etc. I've heard that some companies want that as a requisite before being hired. Never going to happen. EVER.

I'm so glad the parent sat down with her son and talked about it and he trusted her enough to show her conversations. It's a serious situation, and it's heartwarming to see that trust between kid and parent. What the school tried to do was overboard and absurd, but I'm glad OP was able to have a good conversation with her son to be sure he wasn't involved and still took the situation seriously. I'm glad everything worked out and the girl is okay. You must be doing something right as a parent OP, it's so good to see stories about parents that actually respect their kids privacy enough that they trust you to tell you things. My cousin's on my mom's side were treated poorly when it came to privacy. I'm always thankful that my mother never snooped and had honest conversations with me. Ok m gonna go hug my mom now-

Story 2: it obvious they wanted to plant evidence to make her son the scapegoat because they probably had the superintendent breathing down their neck, but heres where this comes in The people in question where most likely part of the sports team and they didn’t want to ruin their careers, but the life of someone else

0:58…..I get what he means but he does know that curvy women are constantly told that they can’t wear normal clothes right? The backlash and defense of women is fair modern, 1st story I can think of is a teacher with an hourglass figure who had petitions against her to be fired.

Story 2: Why couldn't the school just ask the son if he knew anything??? Why do they gotta go full invasion of privacy?? And it's so weird and suspicious that they weren't telling OP why they were demanding the son's logins!

“Hello please give us your sons computer, phone, tablet, and any other electronics without any passwords” sounds like they were going to steal them

I wasn't even looking at the pants in the first story, I was looking at those adorable Bob Ross socks he had on. XD

"your girlfriend is mega toxic", understatement of the year. That woman sounds flat out pathologic.

The way I screamed when the email read “I must be with you to supervise your shopping” 😭 RUN OP, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN

I love best of redditor updates for 2 reasons. They're like a wild card video that can cover multiple topics in the same video, and you KNOW you're in for a good story when you hear rSlash say "and then OP posted an update."

On the first story: Although this not the case everywhere (and as OP describes it's not the case at his workplace), women with large breast most definitely get told to wear less reveling clothes. I agree OP's pants are fine. But just wanted to add that little bit of info.

Dabney, the MO you described in your comments about the last story is eerily similar to the way the Church of Scientology tries to manipulate people they’re trying to recruit new people. Yes, I had an experience with Scientology in my university days.

I think you nailed it with you explanation of what's going on with story 3. What a horrible woman.

Story 2 sorta happened to me! Back when I was in school, I was minding my own business during breaktime one day when suddenly another student came up and started shouting at me. I had no idea what to think and stood there stunned. Thankfully, a teacher intervened and took us aside. I was asked what happened first. I said what I wrote above. The other student said how he was standing up for one of his friends (who I know hated me) as I had been sending them threatening messages on social media. Note: I didn't even use the social media in question. Teacher asked me if this is true, I said no. Teacher said the only way they could determine who is telling the truth is for the school to call my parents to ask them to bring in all of my electronics and for me to give up my login details for them to investigate my devices to see if I was telling the truth or not. Terrified by this, I refused. Not because I was guilty (I wasn't), but because my computer was one of my most prized possessions at the time and didn't wanna bring it to school in case it got damaged or something. Teacher told me that it was very suspicious that I wasn't willing to prove my innocence. In my panic, I said I did do it just to keep my stuff safe, which fortunately, made them back down, but I was essentially forced to go and apologise to the other student's friend for messages I didn't even send. :( So yeah! That wasn't a fun day at school. xD

Story 3: Why would you constantly sabotage your SO's jobs? Like, imagine being so toxic and abusive and you would ruin someone's life to this degree? And she has a job too. This makes me think that she wants to be the only one working of the two just so OP could be left home all the time for more abuse

story 2: legally a school cant demand that info its a privacy breach. They cant look through phones either or keep a childs phone overnight.

"I guess you won the battle of the bulge." Picking the low hanging fruit I see.

For Story 2, I would have probably snarled at them for a warrent. Who the hell do they think they are? A school has zero business having that much access to any student's information

Teacher: "I strongly recommend that you help us, refusal will have consequences, I really hope you cooperate for all our sake." OP: "I missed that part where that's our problem."

Hooray for awesome dads!! That psycho girlfriend needs locked up. That last story even terrified me a little!

Third story I feel like she trying to make you stressed so you get comfort from her so she could control you

When OP said his GF is the only thing keeping him sane all I could think was "she's the only thing DRIVING you insane, too"

Story 2: okay I’m absolutely convinced the school knew about the bulling and are trying to destroy all the evidence of her being at the school.

I fully agree with you on that school story. That vague threat SCREAMS "we want a scapegoat for PR reasons"

Small nitpick: the story 2 isn’t a catch 22, it’s a no-win situation. A catch-22 would instead be: “Can’t give my password without knowing why and I can’t know why without giving my password”

"We can't tell you since this doesn't directly concern your son." Then I guess you don't need to investigate him. But on a real note the school has no authority to do a search like this.

I think the first Op's boss might have been hitting on him....and since it didn't go how she planned (him jumping on her right away) it went off the rails quickly lol But even the parents of the bullying victim didn't want anything to do with the schools "investigation"! I swear some administrations are just bored! "She's the only thing keeping me sane" babe, she's the one driving you insane! RUN!

2nd story. "The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things." There is a whole network of hoops they have to jump through before even beginning to ask for such. OP should of ran not walked to a lawyer and then made bank.

*First OP:* The pants look fine if a bit wrinkly. Shoutouts to the Bob Ross socks. I _did_ notice a print (I wasn't searching for it; I swear!), but I don't think it's, um, a big enough deal to warrant a remark from your boss. After the update, I'm on Team She-Wants-to-Bang-OP. Also, I'm gonna need Slash Bridges to never use that cursed Seductive Karen voice again for the rest of his life. 😛 Excellent pun, though. *Second OP:* The school system can be ass-backward at times; especially regarding the anti-bullying policy which feels like it protects the bully and punishes the victim. I'm glad OP didn't let the school bully her son into handing over his devices for the "investigation." I'm also glad the girl is still around, and I hope she has an easier time at her new school. *Third OP:* I'm glad OP got out of that situation, and I'm glad he has a good support system in his dad and his boss. That story is _wild_ .

She seriously thought she could force an employee to go clothes shopping with her, so she could examine his “bulge” in different outfits.😂 Kudos to OP for not letting a witch manager s-harass him.

Story 2: that’s honestly just a big lawsuit in the waiting both from the OP and the parents of the kid who attempted to do the thing that I’m pretty sure will cause RU-vid to delete this comment. Like for real and like Rslash said, it would also explain why the school won’t give them this demand in writing cause that’ll definitely come back to bite them in the butt.

First story: op did a good job getting his boss fired. Second story: I remember this story on Mr Reddito. I know about the update. Third story: I think it has to do with a kink. I feel bad for OP

I think I'd be contacting other parents and make sure no is giving up their sensitive information.

I am actually in a position where my male staff and I are no longer allowed to wear athletic shorts or sweatpants in the workplace. The "official" reason on paper was professionalism, but it was stated outright in a company meeting that my brothers and I were causing a distraction

It is not a guess if you are exactly right. Basically the people in charge didn't do anything about the bullying and are now scrambling to find a way out of the PR nightmare of their own making.

I just found out I do not want Rslash whispering in my ear.... 4:10

That second story is all too familiar. Lots of schools are taking things like this extra serious in today's America. There will be a lawsuit eventually as it is getting crazy.

That first story is probably the funniest one I've heard here. Not the situation, but the delivery!

Second story - school attempted to break each and every privacy law I know of, human rights included. Veiled threat is also awfully familiar to me. School is in trouble - THEY are likely being investigated (or about to be investigated) for their negligence - they are scared shitless and they searched for a scapegoat. There was a situation in my old elementary school when I witnessed one student beating another on school corridor - lights were turned off, no teacher was patrolling the corridor - the bully was banging the other kid's head against the floor and stopped only when I and one girl intervened. Kid got a brain concussion out of it. Teacher left this kid in class FOR HOURS - they didn't even let him to a nurse - he collapsed in front of his house after school. Police was eventually called like and all hell broke lose. Suddenly, I was taken from the class, to the god damn school basement, when one of the teachers that I didn't know at the time - he introduced himself as my future technology teacher, with a rather shallowly veiled threat that if I do not tell him what he wants to hear, I have trouble next year. He also told me he is to take my testimony for the police - being a policeman's kid, I knew it was bullshit - that psychologist and police would have to be present and I refused to talk. Bastard tried to gaslight me that the lights were on, and that I didn't even see who did that, that whatever happened was after school. Obviously I told my parents the second I got back home and oh boy... They wanted hell, they got it - instead to the police, the case got immediately escalated to police AND superintendent. They obviously tried to claim I made this shit up... But they got exposed easily - how else would I know the name of the technology teacher? And the girl that was also a witness shared similar story to me, and we had no way of contacting each other.

OP’s pants look fine in the first story

That last story honestly breaks my heart, I can't even begin to imagine how betrayed and hurt OP must feel. It's no wonder he needed a therapist because of all that. His ex has some serious controlling behaviour and I sincerely hope she never finds a new bf to do this to in the future. As for OP I hope he's doing better now and can get over her and what she did.

1st Story: I faced sustained, repeated, and systemic harassment of this nature from coworkers and HR at the last place I worked. (I have large breasts. Think H-K cup.) My doctor said she would write a note confirming my breasts were a naturally occurring condition and should thus be considered a handicap protected under state and federal law… and had a phone number for a lawyer… But then I was laid off. And to this day I still have a mild case of PTSD related to workplaces and my clothing. And it’s not like my self esteem was stellar before this experience. I still remember mornings sitting in front of my closet crying, having no idea what might be “safe.” (And no, I did not dress in an inappropriate or revealing manner there, Ever.) So yes, the story has some funny aspects, but it’s also a serious thing. I work from home, and to this day I have panic attacks about the idea of working in a physical office. This has damaged my ability to sustain a career and living wage, as well as all that comes with.

*Second Story:* This is just another example of the disturbing path many schools in the US are taking. I don't feel comfortable talking about even half of the other things I've heard about.

Yes, OP, run! Sweet zombie Jesus run far away, change every number and password, and don't look back.

That school needs a reality check

Holy crap that 2nd story... I would tell that school, "If you think I'm going to do this you must be clinically insane. If the FBI had made that demand I would have told them to fuck off until they came back with a warrant."

Bullying story: I feel like they must have thought he was involved. Otherwise surely they could have asked - and not even asked for access, but asked for the mother to be present with a logged-in system so they could look together. Then again, maybe they are just puffed up idiots.

OP 3 needs a restraining order against that ex.

Story 2 I would have went public and dragged them.

Story 2: What I want to know is: why is the school doing this investigation and not . . . Oh, I don't know, the POLICE?!?! That would be the only reason to hand over devices, if it was necessary, if the Police are involved. (Even so, it should be the Police coming to OP and asking them directly.) I respect teachers and those who work for the school system but if I had a kid and the school was insistent on taking devices I bought for my child, I would be livid too.

2nd story. It is not legal for a school to force ANYONE to reveal any private information on ANY device. That is for the cops and/or lawyers to deal with if it is a legal issue. DO NOT EVER unlock your device for a teacher, principal, or anyone at a school. This does not apply if the device is owned by the school. do not place any private information on a school owned device

Story 1 : wayyy to go op or should I call you colonel Wang.. lol.. Story 2 : " I strongly advise you to violate you're sons privacy just to help us for a very vague reason that we refuse to tell you why" ..lol suck on it ..rslash bro what you said is exactly what it was .. "consequences " the school is so full of it . Story 3 : Emotional abuse.. this is for the idioits who say " women can't be abusive towards men"..

I usually listen to these at work with the screen off and videos autoplaying so I don't often get a chance to comment but I just really wanted to say I appreciate the commentary on the last video, thats a great breakdown of how I've seen abuse work in the past and it makes me really proud that we can actually start having conversations about these types of situations publicly because often the victim has nobody to truly confide in so talking about it and explaining abusive behaviors can definitely help someone who may not have someone to help them out like OP's dad did in the end there

The bulling story. It would make sense for the school to be up front and to ask for a copy of the conversation between the son and the girl. But to ask for the devices and passcodes? Thats like NSA level access and is not appropriate for the school to have.

Whether it's a school or your boss, ALWAYS get and keep evidence - CYA. Once again we see the "can you send that request to me in an email" trick.

Story one's manager be like: *notices bulge* OwO you're fired!

Story 1: Nice pants, but they can use some ironing.

"I sit here now like a king on a porcelain throne,telling you about my victory during my post-lunch dump."... Beautiful. Flawless. MAJESTIC.

The third story: the ex-girlfriend is absolutely toxic. Everything about her screams narcissist. It's a control factor. They pretend to be everything that their target needs, get them to trust them through love bombing and possible trauma bonding, then they isolate their through systematically psychologically, emotionally and sometimes even physically abusing them. How do I know? I've been through it. I had a fake friend that I once thought of as the older sister I never had. Let's call her Molly. She did a thing that narcissists are known for which is called mirroring. They pretend to be just like you by having similar interests, likes, dislikes, similar upbringings, etc. This is where the love bombing comes in. They act like they are everything you need in your life. They're very good at listening so they can hold on to something they can use as ammunition later on. Then there's the trauma bonding. Everybody's had screwed up things happened to them. Narcissists are very good at matching what their target says. You had a trouble childhood? They hadn't even worse childhood. Your stepdad with abusive? Well her stepdad tried to beat her with a wooden rod? See what I mean? They also know how to be cruel when you're looking for support. They love to kick their target when they're down. Case in point: the day my father died Molly had the nerve to say and I quote: “Well you to never got along anyway” and, weeks later, pretended she never said such a cruel thing and called me up out of the blue to ask me for money. When I told her I didn't have it and I wouldn't give it to her even if I did have it because she was notorious for not paying people back, she went there: “You could always ask your mom. Next of kin always inherit. Your dad had to have had life insurance.” Her nonchalant bordering on smug tone was enough to make me want to reach through the phone and slap the hell out of her. I admonished her harshly, but she saw nothing wrong with what she asked me. This was the end of the road for us. I went ultra-low contact with her after that. She lived out of state and it wasn't convenient for her to contact me everyday as she had found new supply elsewhere. When I did finally cut her off completely, blocking her on everything and changing my cell phone number, she didn't even notice for a good 5 months. I later found out from a mutual friend that she threw a tantrum that would have embarrassed a toddler. I just think the heavens that I discovered Dr. Ramani’s video lecture series on narcissism. Dr. Les Carter is good, too. If you don't know who either of them are, I suggest you check them out. As for what the ex-girlfriend did, that's a classic isolation tactic. It's very good on OP to cut and run while he has the chance. Getting a lawyer and a therapist are definitely good moves. I feel for OP because he won't be right for a long while. This was most likely his first long-term relationship and she screwed him over in every way possible. It would not surprise me at all if he chooses to stay single for over a long while. I wish him the best.

First story: I bet she's one of those people that believe women can't sexually harass men. That's why she was so comfortable exposing herself.

I'm glad the school was attempting to take bullying seriously. I genuinely commend them for that. But it's a huge overreach and invasion of privacy to attempt to secure that much insight into OP's son's communications.

Story 2 boils down to “Lol get a court order” Story 3: stems from a dependency issue, very abusive and very very bad. They lead you to believe you are useless without them and they attempt to trap and gaslight you. They’ll eventually convince you to distance yourself from everyone portraying them to be the ones leaving the review. So glad OP left as that type of behavior is one of the most damaging practices for your psyche.

Wow, imagine seeking comfort in your girlfriend from the horrible things you're going through and finding out she's the one doing them.

Hilarious how Ops boss think she can dictate someone’s fashion.

Last story: RSLASH you're wrong. OPs exgf isn't toxic. She psychotic.

Nah, the people in the first op's post, just so happens to wear some really awesome socks

The school has absolutely no legal right to look through anybody's personal devices.

Look up the controversy of the 1960s Batman series. Sounds alot like the first story. Edit: Definitely sounds like it but not in the way you think.

4:10 Damn R/slash your reading of that line make my skin crawl! (Sidenote; did that happen for anyone else?)

Never cooperate with investigations or answer questions. Lawyer up and make it clear that they're poking a hornet's nest. You are not guilty by default but you can quickly "help" yourself into expulsion or prison even if you're innocent.

With the second story, this is why you always record phone calls from any government employee or school employee. Just give them a number that you put a "thank you for calling [LLC NAME] I'll be right with you, calls may be recorded" You can usually open an LLC pretty cheap, especially if you aren't doing anything with it. Everyone ignores those disclaimer recordings. If you live in a 1 party consent state, just record it.

Your puns make me crave death. Keep it up. Proud of you.

I'm confused by the 2nd story. Great. If a student tried to unalive themselves and my child was potentially too blame or had some information about that I would definitely look into it and let the school know yes my son had something to do with this and I am taking appropriate punishment actions if he didn't then I would tell the school my son had nothing to do with it and here's the proof. . And I'm curious why the parents of the student who supposedly made the attempt didn't try to help the school figure out why their child made the attempt in the 1st place. Kind of makes me wonder if the attempt was ever actually made or it was just threatened? All around that story sounds kind of fishy and I wanna put a few bits of doubt on it I don't think that story actually happened.

Last story, this seems like a version of the type of psychopaths who secretly poisons someone in their care and then nurse them back to health, they get some kind of kick / emotional fulfillment when they "help" the victim

In the school situation, as a parent who has dealt with a corrupt school system, who went to school in that same system, and is an employee of the same system (trying to change it from within while also being a light for these kids), here is my take. The school district is being sued because the school ignored the student who attempted to un-alive herself, when she repeatedly tried to report the bullying. Likely, the bullies have been named, but their either related to staff, or are some of the "Leadership" students or high-performing sports students who the school does not want to get into trouble. Pressure is now on the school staff to prove that they actually tried to do something. With access to OP's kid's stuff, they could print out OLD comments, convos, and such and say that they've been investigating since the date on the chat. On top of that, they can then pin the blame on anyone who might have said something that could be interpreted as bullying, even of OP's kid was just being supportive and said that the bullies are dummies. "There's our bully, called students dummies, obviously was the cause." So, you were right in scape goat, but they're trying to save their jobs for ignoring the bullying, and literally protect the bullies. Sure, they say that the student didn't name the bullies, but I'm sure they did for a long time before the un-aliving attempt... the school just refuses to acknowledge those individuals as the bullies (some might even BE staff I say from experience).

dude in the first story is so clueless😭 women with large breasts are criticized for EVERYTHING they wear

I hope that everyone is having a good Monday!

This makes me think about what happened to my friends kid. While being bullied at school they had a panic attack, then went to the school counselor, once with the counselor they admitted to thoughts of self-harm and wishing their bullies were dead, the school responded by filing felony charges against them for terroristic threats. Was on house arrest for over half a year and now can never go back to school because they were expelled. Will likely need to go to a therapist for the rest of their life because of this.

The fact rSlash gets so mad about injustice, warms the cockles of my half dead heart.

lmao OP is wrong about women with bigger boobs, we're automatically sexualized no matter what we wear. doesn't change the fact that his boss is terrible, but yeah.

Hello everyone!!

Story 2: "Disable all security for any device your son has used in the past year and hand them over to us immediately so we can investigate a matter that you aren't privy to." The only response should be, "I don't see a warrant."

Bulge story: It just goes to show once again that if you're asked to put it in writing, what you're asking/telling someone to do is probably not a good idea. Electronics privacy story: I'm guessing the student that tried to harm herself HAS reported bullying to the school previously and the school took no action to stop it. The information the school actually wanted was whether or not the student had told that info to anyone else to cover their butts (and delete it, thus why they wanted social media passwords) and was the reason the parents weren't cooperating. Mick Myrtle story: It sounds to me like OP's ex is has a controlling, manipulative and sadistic personality. She enjoys making people suffer and then being there to "comfort" them. OP is much better off being away from her but will now have a long way to go to overcome the trust issues he now has. Good luck OP.