r/CleverComebacks - Oh Dear... 

I don’t need to hear your tips on how to be cool when you wear *FAKE SUNGLASSES.*

Honestly the click replaces the need to go out and sustain real meaningful human connections

_"Ladies. You can't be drafted. Sit down when war is discussed."_ I wasn't expecting - but still _deeply_ appreciated - the burn he was answered with, but my first thought was, "And you can't be impregnated, so sit down when my reproductive rights are discussed."

I hadn't heard of the saying "The tongue is sharper than the sword." in English before! In Greek, the saying's literal translation is "The tongue may have no bones, but it sure can crush them." You learn something new everyday

Click: *is everyone's silly little shoulder devil* Also Click: *amazingly smart and surprises the hell out of everyone when he proves it*

"Happiness is free" Me looking at my antidepressants pills: *You liar*

"There's no curve here. Can we agree on that?" Uh, no. The curve being so slight you can't see it in that field of vision does not mean there isn't one. That would be like me holding up my hand and saying, "There's no cells here. Can we agree on that?"

One of the best comebacks I ever heard was from a friend. There was this guy that went up to me and was like "Ooooooh, where have you been all my life?" While I'm just sitting there thinking to myself: "Go away, please leave me alone", my friend goes, "Trying to get away from you!"

The click having an existential crisis every 2 minutes is me

Can we please write it into the collective lore of the world that the LGBT community performed an extravagant and well planned heist to steal the rainbow from God. Maybe make a movie?

As a vegetarian, displaying the kill date on meat would make me way more comfortable. It makes it easier to track disease or parasites in the meat, picking put fresher meat is easier, and would be easier to tell which meats are processed (lile sausages) because they'd have multiple kill dates

8:49 Right... Imagine a religious couple...doing it...and moaning "Oh G*d !". And then a booming voice comes from the heavens "Yes ? What do you want, I'm busy."

fun fact: Stephen Hawking was pretty much always a savage roaster.

It’s nice to see he found his way home

The "stole the rainbow" thing reminds me of the story of Prometheus helping the humans to get fire, and being allowed to eat the food parts of the animals and that's one of my favorite things. I like stories where a little bit of cleverness allows otherwise comparatively vulnerable people to actually be able to have *something* when someone bigger and stronger than them didn't want to allow them to have it. Of course it would be better if the "bigger and stronger" people weren't bullies in the first place, but that's not the world we live in, nor has it been for thousands of years, at least. (But maybe someday it can be.)

Click: "US from an outside perspective is kinda funky" Me: US from an inside perspective is extremely funky

"Your IQ is lower than your shoe size" is actually a sick burn damn

"US school system is a little bit... funky." Is the greatest understatement I've heard in a while

Stephen Hawking was such a savage with an awsome humor.

I read/heard a reply that said something along the lines of: The LGBT didn’t steal the rainbow, the straights abandoned it.

"God is in everyone." "No, that's Elvis. Well, except for Michael J. Fox. He has no Elvis in him. He's the Anti-Elvis."

boredom: *exists* The Click: *And where did that bring you? Right back to me*

2:20 my mom didn’t give birth to a child until she was in her mid 30’s, wanna know why? She had several tragic miscarriages. I was practically a miracle for her. Bet this OP would feel pretty stupid if they heard that. Not everyone can have kids left and right, and sometimes there’s circumstances where even if they wanted kids, it’s takes a bunch of extra work for it to happen.

" The last thing the world wants right now is raw, unsanitized bat " HAD ME LAUGHING FOR 2 MINUTES STRAIGHT!!!

*"WILD STAG! WILD STAG!"* jesus christ i cannot breathe lmao

The Click: says some very smart science stuff Also The Click: can’t read the name of a subreddit and seemingly has no common sense

19:22, I was on a discord server and someone started saying they stalked their crush and was basically a yandere without killing, I gave a whole lecture about how you can love someone without hurting others and then said I took screenshots and can turn them into the authorities, they started freaking out and in all caps said “IM SORRY IT WAS A JOKE IM LYING” So then I gave another lecture about how such jokes are not funny and lying for attention will get you no where.

I fell asleep. Waking up to Click yelling 'WILD STAG, WILD STAG' At three in the morning was an enlightening experience.

20:22 The older I get, the more I laugh at this line. Nobody "stole the rainbow." What happened is when we started using it as a symbol, everyone else who did threw it away. Nobody ever said "the rainbow belongs to LGBT people now." People instead said "I don't want anyone to think I'm *gay* " and stopped putting rainbows outside of churches. Rainbows can symbolize many things. It's not LGBT people's fault that the second people see rainbows they think "gay."

“US from an outside perspective looks a little funky” We- most of us, are aware, it tears us up as a country even more trying to find a solution.

10:33 you're looking at a curvature of about 0.2° which is significantly higher than any flat earther's IQ

12:20 steven hawking was a comedic genius and just a genius in general. i miss him :(

I feel like him having an ice-block buddy is probably a cry for help

I'm old enough to remember when the Beatles first came along: they were blasted by "the establishment" for having "indecently long" hair. Looks so tame now. [] "The earth is 4,000 years old. Change my mind." - "I can't change what you haven't got." [] "What's something that feels British but isn't?" - English muffins.

15:56 Click speaks English so much better than half the people in the posts he reads that I sometimes forget it isn't his native language. To anyone learning English: it is a difficult language and you are doing a good job.

15:52 fun fact, some studies use more than one control group. In this case, they would probably use a negative or placebo control (maybe both in this case as the cold tends to go away without intervention) and a positive (existing treatment control). These experiments are actually really hard to set up, my team had to wait 6+ months to get clearance for one once lol.

I admire the fact that this man spent about 2 minutes explaining why pseudosciences are a waste of everyone's time just to wrap it up with "pseudoscience bad."

The quiet little "oh, he's a bottom" absolutely destroyed me. I laughed so hard I sneezed and now I have a headache but I'm still laughing!

4:15 I REFUSE TO SIMP OVER THIS MAN, THIS IS NOT WHO IM BECOMINF

The whole 'seeing y'all at 23 with 5 kids' really hit me. I met someone when I was 21 who was my age at the time, and they had 3 kids??? I'm like. You're a kid though? Your brain hasn't even developed fully yet!

"How you be 27+ with no kids?" Disability, never been in a long enough relationship, no maternity instinct and repulsed ace. If I ever get that instinct thing I'll adopt. But yes seeing my classmates of old have 3 kids by the time they were like 20 just blew me away but hey they're normal people.

7:39 Fun fact: Historically, in Sweden and probably plenty of other nations as well, being drunk was actually considered a mitigating circumstance in court. "Of course you killed your wife and five kids! You were obviously drunk, pissed, and probably dead tired as well! In fact, we'll actually give you some bonus points for managing to swing that axe when you could barely stand upright without help when the police arrived at the scene!"

Referring to children as "snot goblins" is the highlight of my day.

"You are scientifically illiterate" is my new favorite insult

Imagine just having a nice walk through the forrest; it's idyllic. In the distance you hear "DEER" "DEER", you walk along a small lake and hear "DUCK""DUCK""DUCK""DUCK". and then, you hear it. Ominously, in a deep, dark tone from behing you, sending a shiver down your spine as you freeze in fear "wild boar"

As a polytheist I can tell you there are most certainly gods, of many genders, who would be happy with people calling out their names during naughty fun times.

15:06 that "earth is only 4000 years old" is goofy first off because we have recorded history that is older than that

"Why aren't millennials buying diamonds?" Why? Maybe because a lot of us don't want to spend our life savings on ROCKS.

Bruh Click’s flat earth jokes really put me on edge

The click: I'm a real person Everyone else: psh we all know you are a bunch of demonic hamsters in a human costume

My favorite response to the "The world is 4000 years old, change my mind." line is to out crazy them and go "The world was made last week, change my mind."

“WILD STAG! WILD STAG!!!!” That made me laugh way too hard

Can we please appreciate how Mark is fluent in both Swedish and English despite having to deal with dyslexia ? We all stan a fucking king here.

"HE'S A BOTTOM!" 0.0 *Me eating almost choking* "W-WHERE IS THIS MAN!"

12:02 Most people: virgin. The Click: gay.

Recently discovered your channel, love your vids. Can't get enough of them. You are funny and just have a very pleasant voice to listen to.

"20 little snot goblins" I don't think he wants kids guys....

James is the best, he's the best "totally straight" character in Pokémon.

13:48 Our generation isn't known to demand to see the manager when we are expected to pay full price for a hotdog.

The idea - and that clip - of the Click roleplaying a villain ASMR made me burst into a fit of giggles

Click: an ice block is my best friend ever One Topic: sad OT noises

“Lets say I have invented a medicine for the common cold” Me who has a cold: “HAND IT OVER CLICK!”

Honestly I'm usually the one who ends up holding the doors open for everyone but one time a guy from my class opened the door for me when I was carrying a box of books and I was incredibly grateful.

Science Click is, lowest of keys, the most calming thing I've ever heard.

Ah yes, as a Bi Palestinian, we Did aid in collectively Robbing god of the Rainbow. That will teach him to steal my coffee, let alone be so OLD. for those who cant tell, this is Sarcastic

"WHY IS THIS MY JOB!!" Plant, Simba and Clickykitty: Get a load of this guy

4:48 you can’t even be mad. that honesty is too funny.

Man, you're so funny. You're humour is just my cup coffee and it's one of the best medicine.

"GAY HORSES BABY! FVCK YEAH!" got me.

Okay, but, to be fair, everything in the Natural History Museum is indeed stolen. I had to learn that unfortunate truth several years ago, and it’s actually made me kinda sad ever since.

I somehow feel the Click can barely control his own chaotic energy and I am here for it.

God I love it when the existence of lead disproves the 'Earth is 4000 years old' myth

In my country, a woman was driving while under the influence of alcohol one night, leading to her crashing through the front of a house and killing a baby. She didn’t get any prison time and kept her license. To be fair, apparently it wasn’t because of the alcohol. Allegedly, the reasoning was: “But who will take care of my kids if I’m in prison?” After prison was off the table it was: “But who will take my kids to school.” The court system in my country is a joke.

14:58 Anybody else love when Click gets real and talks about a serious topic with actual facts with the cheery music in the background?

Boy, you're really having a ball with those puns.

“Should people with learning disabilities be able to work for less that minimum wage?” … Ohhhh so that’s why people always try to pay me in exposure for my commissions

*Adventures of the wild Click,day twenty two.* He's made it back a few days ago,and he's safety in his nest. We've had someone check in his fridge (he doesn't know) and we have found the meat from his Karen hunt. As we can tell,the furry group has let him stay with them until the wildlife people saved him. But,he's questioning if he should go back. We can tell he starting to feel old,and is still chasing after his mate the Topiceywockeydy (One topic at a time,One Topic for short). He's still unaware of the fanfic tribe after him and his mate,but he's sure to find out soon enough. We've heard plenty of screaming from his house,so we believe he's been playing to destroy a Karen tribe,but we've also heard a lot of laughing. We're slightly worried for this species,but we think he'll make it on. We'll have to be careful though,his asmr is trapping our reporters. But I think we'll make it on. But we'll have to watch out in case he roams around in this comment section. Now,the reporter is currently trying to hide in his kitchen,so we'll continue on- -in the next episode.

"oh he's a bottom" I threw my hand over my mouth so fast I almost dropped my phone lmao

So this ended up in my recommended dude, your accents are hilarious xD also video was good, lol

"How do yall be 27+ with no kids" Because I'm responsible

He found his way out of the wild!! RUYAY

Was the guy really trying to poke fun at European coaches by saying that they looked like Bond villains? My first thought was that meant charming, debonair, and clever. I guess it can be seen as negative, but unless the guy made other remarks that were derogatory, I'd take it as a compliment.

"WILD STAG, WILD STAG" ngl I almost died of laughter at 3am

I accidentally paused the video on exactly 25:57 and it instantly made my year.

Imagine if saying God or Lord was like a Discord ping for him

Theory, the click is being hypnotized. You saw him exit the trance when he started having a crisis about why he was doing this as his job

Dude quite literally went into a science rant and I enjoyed that.

RU-vid unsubscribed me again. Subscribed, again because I don't want to miss out on your beautiful content. It puts a smile on my face when I'm feeling low ❤️

Cliccy laughing at his own puns is my primary source of serotonin.

"You don't look American!" Well we're not american so...

In Germany, Alcohol is socially accepted. The Cops still seize your License for driving even the slightest bit tipsy.

every time i watch the click videos i’m terrified of him because he’s way too perfect to be real

"Oh he's a bottom!" is where i fucking lost it i love you click

...and if a beer doesn't work say this, "Excuse me Judge, if it may please the court...I am baby."

"Can you imagine if drinking beer gave you immunity to laws?" That's White Claw's whole ad campaign.

"government ain't getting my info" "do you have a birth certificate?"

It's like over 30C here every day in the summer. I need an ice block. Canadian winter can't come fast enough.

Me: watching a click video The intro: the click the click the click *the click* Me: T H E C L I C K

I love how you included information about using a control group in a medical trial. A little bit of education within the entertainment.