r/TIFU By Burning The Skin Off My Butt 

That first story, lol! It's an awkward guy's worst nightmare.

I don't see the first story so much as a TIFU but more as very unprofessional staff and behavour at Walmart for doing what they did.

The first story is literally why online shops exist

Wow way to make a customer feel like dirt . This has actually riled me up . I used to go out of my way to make sure my customers were at ease and happy . Not treat them like a horrible disgrace

If a woman is talking to you about her lingerie she either likes you or you’re too far into the friend zone to ever get out

"I'm a dumb--- with a numb---" was the best phrase I've ever heard and now I wish I could use it for regular social talk.

In the first story, I would have been like: "Oh, and I'd like to file a complaint against this lady here and against you. The lack of discrete customer service here is appalling!"

OP: *wants his KY jelly* Employee: *Im about to end this man's whole Career*

That's why whenever I ring someone up for condoms or other sexual related products, I ALWAYS bag their item.

"Yes, I left my dignity back at the pharmacy." BEST. RESPONSE. EVER.

I think the woman in the first story did it on purpose. Either that or the world just hates that guy

When I buy lube, I get a cucumber as well so the cashier and I are equally uncomfortable.

Dang, that lingerie dude is a real life harem anime's protagonist.

I can't rest until I could hear the TIFU for that bucket of fish.

German guy here, commenting on first story: I never understood why sexual things are embarrassing for you americans. Come on. It is natural. Buying stuff like that should be like buying milk or bread.

They really had to lock up the ky jelly and stuff ?!?!?!?!?!?! I never thought people would steal that of all the things in Walmart

Even though there was no fire, his actions proved what he'd do if there was. It was a brave and smart thing to do wrapping that wet blanket around him and his sister to run through the fire.

Ky jelly. Slip n slide. Im too innocent because i was lost as hell until i heard tug glue

the first story: I would just stare at her and say yes that's all I need and shout through the whole store IM HAVING A WANK LATER!!! then stand up straight slam my money on the counter and say "keep the change hun" wink and walk away. they wanted me to feel awkward well I just turn it around and make them feel awkward

Ive had a couple friends with low heat burns from sleeping with his hand touching a radiator and from wheat bags. They are absolutely horrifying to look at

Bloke in the first story shoulda just noped TF outta there as soon as she started with those keys.

As a guy built like a Pug with the anxiety levels to stress a Gorilla to death i don't think i could ever get subtle hints at flirting.

story from ivan-slimer that a public shaming and humiliation i think that the time, we all have to be a karen and ask for manager and make that girl fired

Title: **exists** Masochists: Y E S

Been refreshing for the last 5 minutes for this vid

Am i the only one who thinks his voice is seriously soothing? Idk why but he reads this stuff just perfect!!

Tip from the first story: DO NOT USE VEGETABLE OIL. That goes under an insane amount of processes

"Is this everything sir?" "Um, how about a helping hand?"

the KY story, i think its sue material. this is public humiliation..

Why is that almost all TIFU's, you almost always have a story of someone butt literally getting destroyed?

"I'm a dumb*ss with a numb*ss" is the best thing I have ever heard!! XD

First story is why I order mine online.

The thumbnail Literally me after eating Taco Bell

Tifu is probably one of my least favorite subreddits, but since it’s Rslash, i’ll still watch and like the video

Ended up rewatching like 4 videos until this one was finally posted, well worth the wait haha

There's an oral surgeon in this town but rampant cows are still a problem? What dimension are we in?! How are these two thing occurring simultaneously...

The guy in the first story should have held his head high and when she asked if there was anything else he needed innocently looked her in the eye and said “Oh yeah a whole raw chicken thanks”.

Hey Rslash, I just wanna say thanks! I love you vids and have been listening for months now, and I listen to your podcast too! I’m currently listening to this while cleaning my bird’s cage. Thanks so much, I can always count on you for a new video!

I could not stop laughing at the 3rd story 🤣 probably cuz I'm next to blind and might have done the same thing

When KY jelly becomes, 'Old Faithful' ............

Who knew WalMart staff were so unprofessional?

Poor fella but what kind of weird policy makes it so a worker has to take your jelly to a register?? God some nasty shit has had to happen for that to become a policy

That thumbnail 🤣🤣

I love these videos! I watch them every morning. It's like my millennial version of the news! Lmao

Just saying for the first one, I wouldn't buy the jelly after that sort of shit. I'd outright tell them they're too immature for me to take seriously and made such fools of themselves that I'd rather just leave empty handed and buy from corner stores than buy there ever again.

I really had a good chuckle with the story of OP’s loud cows, missed exam and pulled out wisdom tooth🤣🤣….and what about the supposedly house on fire and OP’s drenched blanket😂😂!

Thank you for all the hard work you put into your videos! I love listening to them all throughout my day and it definitely make for a good day! :)

I would have told her I needed another bottle. Then when I bought it I'd say I need another... and anoher... and another... then she can walk back with everything and struggle to hold it. 😂

Cashier:"...is this all?" OP:"OH! Shoot! Thanks for reminding me! Where are the handcuffs and cucumbers?"

I felt the pain in that one about the girl having a crush on the OP. I’ve actually had that happen so many times. The most recent one and the one I regret the most was this girl I had classes with in community college. Whenever we had to partner up o or get in a group she’d make sure we were partners and would want to meet up in a little conference room (like she would actually reserve one of the campus conferences rooms for us...idk if that took money or not) and want to eat lunch/dinner and work on the project, and hang out. Sometimes we’d even go off campus to hang out (she had a really nice Truck). I thought we were just really good friends, you know, bonds of being one of the only two in our classes that openly liked stuff nerd culture and all that. The big difference was she was fit, like she worked out a lot and played several sports, and I was/am a FPOS(fat piece of sh*t.) who only played 2 sports (bowling and football) in high school. I never thought a girl like her would be interested in a guy like me, and I never shot my shot because I didn’t want to give off “neck beard vibes” and chase off this girl. It didn’t help I was still getting over a previous rejection. Eventually she moved out of the country and basically confessed that she liked me and didn’t think I was into “girls like her” so she stopped trying to make a move...ironic...

Man in the thumbnail lookin like he bouta take off

the thumbnails keep getting funnier and funnier

What the frick was wrong with the staff in the first story?!? How unprofessional can someone be? This is disgusting beyond belief.

TIFU by being late for bedtime stories! Dang delayed notification! As always, my love from Aussieland m8 «3

That's why I order off amazon less people judging you 😂

In that first story, i speak as an asexual who used to work at walmart. If you cant be professional about someone wanting to have a fun night, then you shouldnt lock the items needed in the first place. My walmart put locks on the individual items, so i’ve had to call over my fair share of key holders to unlock them, but i’ve never drawn undue attention to anyone in my lines. Even if that’s their entire order. Op shouldn’t go back to walmart and should lodge all sorts of complaints to corporate about being so embarrassed by that brainless employee and numb-nuts manager.

HOLYSHIT, this is the fastest I’ve ever been to a r/ video! I’m so excited.

I forgot to comment here but R/slash’s roast was awesome. “My first instinct was to save my sister, not you.”

7:09 is the reason I don't want to have my wisdom teeth pulled. There are just some things my mother shouldn't know about.

Where did you even find that thumbnail

Was woken up to my cat puking on me :/

I slept with earphones on and I woke up with the bud part deep in my ear

With the fire story I'd just yell "IF YOU DON'T STOP LAUGHING AND MAKING FUN OF ME I'M GONNA FORCE YOUR OWN TEETH DOWN YOUR THROATS"

The better response to the ky jelly incident when asked if anything else is needed proper answer: Cucumbers 🤣

I understand OP's feeling with the younger women, he missed out. But at the same time, she didn't want to 'take a chance and ruin the friendship'. But she wanted OP to taking the chance and possibly ruining the friendship ........WTF?!

Wow that must have soo humiliating that he might just wanted to become invisible in store

More accurate description: You know those agate stones? Imagine one of those, but the whole part past the rim is the dark part

Being embarrassed about lube is so 2019. Same with tampons. These are necessary life items!

Love these videos, keep up the good work!

4:19 That sentence made my day ...

The story about the old man and young woman: In my opinion, it is not TIFU but kinda win. They would be together, for a while all would be just fun but then the age gap would show itself. This way she just got over her crush and found someone much better for herself.

I work at walmart, usually in the pharmacy area. My store doesn't lock up the condoms, lube, etc. Whenever a customer walks over to that section, I walk an aisle or two away so they can have privacy and won't be embarrassed. If I get asked for help finding that area since it's just a small section, I treat it as if I'm leading them to literally anything else, nothing special. Just a friendly smile, lead them to it, and that's that.

Lmao that part about being a dumb butt with a numb butt was hilarious

Lol at least she was thinking of saving her family.... nothing to laugh at (except the situation that ended up funny) and as for the "box of tissues" ....add "your number as well" lol. XD

The story about that 46 yr old guy hurts me physically. How the heck does one miss such clear signals???? I'm mad now

"i'm a dumbass with a numbass" that is the officially the best thing i've heard all day.

Hey guys, Walmart employee here, I have no idea why they started to lock those products in a case but I feel like it is due to theft at a lot of Walmarts around the world. The key sets are ridiculously heavy and we don't even use all of the keys. At least they didn't have the door open alarms that are REALLY loud.

Ok, the Walmart employees were embarrassing him on purpose. That was mean-spirited and highly unprofessional.

For anyone whos wondering, the thumbnail is a guy in a long bike but someone photoshopped the motorcycle out.

I think r/TIFU might be my favorite subreddit... I have a problem

Me: looks at Thumbnail Also me: lemme guess, Florida man

I am DYING at the "fire" story 😂 I'm practically blind so that if definitely something I would have done 😂

Thank the customers in this story that required to have the "family planning" section locked up in the first place.

Hahaha the one guy from the don't want to die, OMG that was hilarious, I'm still crying of laughter at least his sister didn't mind being hurt , she knows his brother will save her no matter what. Love your videos, your commentary and laughter makes them so much better

That poor guy in the first story... I would have talked to the manager about that situation. No one deserves to be made uncomfortable just for buying jelly! I'm just glad I have never experienced the same situation. I mean it's embarrassing enough to have to ask for the adult fun time supplies! All of the employees I've asked for that kind of stuff were super discrete, even going as far as to ring it up at the register in the pharmacy area and double bag the product so no one could recognize the label through the bag! Those employees need to be fired!

I died laughing on the first story. WTF is up with that walmart

I searched “it” up and I am now scarred for life

That poor guy in the first story. Those employees did not handle it professionally at all and he should of made a complaint or something, that’s absolutely horrible. If someone did that to me or my friends I’d probably make even more awkward for them and make them feel bad. No one should be put through that.

"Basically i'm a dumbass with a numbass" That part got me soooo cracked up

Sleeping with earplugs prob gonna get ear infection

0:00 Well... things only escalated because he was afraid to speak up. I would've shut her down and told her something akin to "Hey! You're going to be more discreet, or you'll be talking to your supervisor later." and if she insisted on carrying the jelly I'd bring her along for the rest of my purchases and clued anyone questioning it in by telling them that we were out shopping together.

I've been loving the clickbaits lately

A heated car seat burning someone that severely. Sounds like a lucrative lawsuit.

Is this all you needed? No! I need a box of tissues, 16ft of rope, cable ties, a shovel, a bag of lime, rubbing alcohol and Muriatic Acid. Oh what is this states wait time on fire arms?

That first assistant was a total jerk, doing malicious compliance with "customer service". There's NO WAY she wasn't being so over the top on purpose.

4:06 DONT SEARCH IT!!!!!

The way they put the first story made it sound like a Walmart cult

That first story is a clean cut case of anxiety

Aw....poor first story guy......two words for him: Amazon Prime.

On the first story, humans were not meant to convert methane into their own version of nitrous oxide and, contrary to public opinion, lighting your farts on fire DO NOT make you faster.