SAO Abridged Parody: Episode 02 

So I just realized that the reason Asuna doesn’t know how to open the menu is because the Black Cats stole the tutorial NPC.

And thus, Asuna began her plan to marry Kirito to get access to his inventory to finally take the coat rightfully owed to her.

Can we appreciate that Kirito lived with the narrator for a month before turning it off.

At fucking gunpoint I *could not* tell you what Tiffany’s name was in the original series. He’s just Tiffany.

Asuna: “I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL” Asuna Some Time Later: *marries Kirito*

2:51 "It's a woman's name" Oh fuck, I just remembered, somewhere in S2 Tiffany reveals he and his wife were going to play together but they only managed to snag 1 NervGear. It's *his wife's account* !

What really funny about them not finding the first boss for a full month is that Kirito wrote the guide and thus knew where it was the whole time.

I love the fact that Diabel would prefered literal death over healing and continuing to deal with the complete idiocy of the noob players

"Tiffany huh, that's a pretty masculine name" "shouldn't be, it's a woman's name" "Okay I don't know how to talk to you" HAHAHA

Not even kidding, would play an MMO with a narrator.

_If they hijack conversations to talk about their political views, _*_frontline!_* This suggestion has aged well after 9 years.

The "I'm di-solving this party" making fun of the way they typoed in the original show was subtle and really funny to me.

“That’s right Jefferey. Now kill them all...” -Jesus

"oh god who wrote this?" *Kirito chuckles to himself

The funny part is, if the guy had actually let Kirito finish, there would've been enough time for Kirito to tell him about the longer range.

“Just send me a trade request.” “A… what?” “It’s quite simple really… JUST OPEN YOUR MENU.”

"Jesus who wrote this thing??" Kirito: "hehehehe"

"We can group up..and hiT IT TILL IT DIES!" > Seriously the only plan SAO ever had anyway

2:35 is hands down the best moment of the whole abridged series. "you may call me tiffany." - tiffany "tiffany, eh? that's a pretty.. masculine.. name.." - kibaou "shouldn't be! its a woman's name!" - tiffany "ooooookayy... i don't know how to talk to you.." - kibaou "good! then you can SHUT UP and LISTEN." - tiffany sick burn.

Kirito: "You guys are great meat shields and no one can take that from you."

"Our best player is a girl who thinks DPS is some kind of sex thing."

Plot twist: Asuna was never stuck inside the game. She just didn't know how to open the menu and logout.

10:52 _"So, for those of you who came in late, and that one guy playing Bejeweled back there... Shoot for the stars..."_ _"it'll make it more fun when I kick you back into the dirt."_ *Random fodder character:* _"You're not better than us...!"_ *Kirito:* _"My sweetass coat begs to differ."_ 😆 This dialogue is too witty and funny!

I just realized Diabel is like one of the first people Kirito didn’t hate. Or hate to the normal amount.

Can we all just appreciate that we actually got an explanation for why an odachi was more dangerous than a talwar

Joking aside, this is probably how we'd actually handle a situation like sao.

I only realized now at 11:24 the reason Kirito says the word "dissolving" so strangely is because the word is misspelt on the popup.

"Apparently, real-life athletic ability translates into the game. Good to know." That plus the Hat of Charisma +50... There's no way they planned the Alfheim plot twist _this_ early, is there?

German Player: I'd like to hear more about this final solution I couldn't stop laughing

"just send me a trade request, simple really, just open your menu" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA OMG I'M DYING!!!!

After years and so many rewatches, I FINALLY realized that the reason Kirito mispronounced dissolving is because it's literally spelt as "Disolve" and quite honestly I'm upset I didn't notice the pristine humor that was that joke.

I can’t believe how iconic this abridged series has been for me, almost a decade later I’m still quoting “that’s so lmao”

Oh. My. GOD. Kirito is the *best* villain protagonist.

Its not even a parody anymore when this is better than the original

When he said "Just open your menu", it literally sent chills down my spine.

The part that always sticks with me is “we leave at the crack of- 2:30, I guess” “Christ, I’m gonna have to set my alarm.” I’ve never heard something so brutally relatable.

"Fine, I'll give you half the coat. Just send me a trade request." "A....what?" "Oh, it's quite simple really. Just open your menu."

*"So as Mr. Chocolate Thunder was saying"* had me dying.

It's been 8 long years since I first watched this and every time he says "just open your menu" I lean my head and laugh maniacally. This is truly an absolute masterpiece.

11:27 I absolutely love that they made Kirito say “di-solve” because the source had a misspelling of “dissolve” lmao. Such a subtle joke.

“HOW DO I EAT YOU?” I legitimately had to redo that line a couple time.

You know you messed up when someone makes a parody of your character, with the soul premise of being an *sshole, and he's still more like-able than your's...

God I love their foreshadowing. Jeffery from 10:05 is the same as the laughing coffin member from episode 5. Combined with the end part showing the connection it's beautiful.

4:24 since Kirito wrote this part of the guide book, he purposely called it that to make a Hitler reference. Honestly that's just really fucking funny and it shows how good this abridged series is

"You either live... or die" And people die if they are killed.

"Alright men, this next part's gonna require careful coordination.... which is why I'm gonna *do it myself!* " I raided in WoW for 10 years and I _feel this in my bones_

"Just open your menu" was pure gold 😂

“my sweet ass coat begs to differ” that’s kiritos way of living

It's been almost 8 years since this came out and this is the first time I realise the cat IS THE FUCKING CAT FROM GHOST STORIES

Just now realized that Jefferey is the leader of laughing coffin

That lore drop about the difference between a Talwar and an Odachi was real commitment

*"You can come up with that but can't open up the menu?"* I'm dying 😂

Is it sad that this kirito is a much more compelling character then the actual kirito.

"My sweet ass coat begs to differ..." "Damn... He's got us there."

Rewatching this (FUCKINGNINEYEARSLATERWTF), the final solution bit flew over my head literally every time I've watched and rewatched this gem of a show until now. I nearly choked on my food.

11:03 that moment literally broke me the first time I watched it😂

"Just open your menu" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

“How have you survived this month?” .... *Stares at food* “HOW DO I EAT YOU?!”

The whole boss fight is pretty accurate in trying to cat herd - I mean leading randoms online, it even works for Arma. I squad lead a lot in public servers and my basic strategy is "point them at the thing I want gone and let them have at it", while loosely directing them to keep them on task. Never has splitting up into separate teams worked for me lol.

11:41 Man Kirito is more evil than I thought

"Lions do not concern themselves with the opinion of sheep" I want that on my tombstone.

"I'm di-solving this party" I had to check, there really is a typo in the actual anime.

Everytime I've forgotten Agil's (I don't know if I spelt that right) name over the past two-ish years, I've just called him Tiffany.

That final solution line was crazy 💀

"We could group up and... hit it till it dies" ... this is why I no longer play healer in MMO's

This Kirito is my spirit animal.

I am currently doing the yearly tradition of rewatching SAOA when a new episode is released.

"Oh God, I can feel my lungs trying to _kill_ me!" I use that every time I am out of breath.

“I will make your life a living hell!” So THAT’S why she married him.

"I will make your life a living hell" well they will be married soooo...

I never realized it was Kirito who made the plan of "grouping up and hitting it till it dies."

“Alright men this part is going to require careful coordination… which is why I’m gonna do it myself” *Destiny 1’s taken king raid flashbacks*

Asuna:I want half the coat Kirito: K send me a trade request Asuna:how? Kirito:open your menu SON OF A BI-

"I want half," is one of the best lines I've ever heard in any movie, book, or video. It's because of the buildup. We see stuff like that all the time. Arrogant hero is a jerk, tells everyone how terrible they are and how good he is, and tries to walk off. The innocent, kind heroine runs up to him and tells him he's wrong, and that friendship is great and that he couldn't have made it without the sacrifices of everyone else. Maybe she slaps him to show her spirit. Arrogant hero is touched by her spirit, or he eventually sees the value of friendship. You can see that from a mile away. The shot is perfect; Asuna appears right behind Kirito, about to say something very important. She looks indignant, as if she's about to say how wrong he is. And then we get, "I want half." Suddenly, Asuna becomes a character. She doesn't slot into the innocent heroine to the brooding hero; she's just as selfish as he is. She fights him not for his beliefs, but because she wants what she deserves. It's the best bait and switch I've ever seen.

Me and my friends from high school watched this together when it first came now. Now that i'm rewatching it nearly a decade later, it's really bringing back memories.

Little did Kirito know, that coat will seal his fate

"You're not better than us!" "My sweet ass coat begs to differ." "Dammit, he's got us there." Amazing XD

The Wise Words Of Kirito: "Just take that little voice in your head that tells you to be tactful and understanding... and shoot it. Shoot it in the god damn face."

I like how you can see the game is unfinished when a sentinel has trouble loading in

The "DPS being some kind of VR sex thing" joke aged terrifically

I love how kirito is personally responsible for a significant portion of those deaths.

When the guy tries to be polite about Tiffany's name, and Tiffany just shoots that shit down real quick 😂

3:31 "So as Mr. Thunder Chocolate was saying......." Hahahahahaha 🤣🤣

"I want to hear more about this Final Solution." Hell no lmfao

Narrator ep.2: "Some died from sheer stupidity" Kaiaba ep.11: "It seems you people have a death pool for dying the absolute most stupid way possible. And you keep one-upping eachother"

Kirito: "Fine!... Just send me a trade request." Me: Genius... lmao

10:50 my defense attorney when I'm bragging to people about my body count

He probably had to buy that “narrator off” option

Can we please have this Kirito in the real show?

Rewatching the whole thing from the beginning. This is STILL my favorite opening! 😂

The “DPS is some kinda sex thing” really aged well, considering there is a sex thing for avatars on VRChat, and it’s called DPS (Dynamic Penetration System)

“Kirito?! I killed the thing and now it says I have xp’s. Is that bad? Am I dying?!” Greatest line in abridging history. 😘

Why does this Kirito have more personality than the canon "character"

"Kirito! If you walk away with my half the coat, I will make your life a living hell!" That explains a lot of things for the rest of the series lol

That menu joke at the end was funnier than every "funny" moment in actual sao combined

Wow. Asuna goes from being so hopeless she can't open the menu to the second-in-command of the best guild in the game. She wins the most improved menu.

I watched this like 5 times and only this time around did I notice that the "final solution" guy was a Hitler joke I'm a dumbass

thank you for the cool information about weapons

9:57 This joke really killed me 😂 It feels so random, yet it is so elaborate and well done. This level of editing and creativity is really what separates a great parody from a mediocre one. 2:55 Also, this entire scene right here is just absolutely perfect. I have a feeling this is exactly what would happen in reality, too 😅😂😂

A wise philosopher once said... _Le mao_