My brother's marriage is intercaste ,my friend's marriage is interstate, my one another friend's marriage is interreligion all marriages are running successfully however my cousin's got married within caste is fighting court case for divorce, cultural and caste differences can be managed however personal difference cannot be managed , personal difference is main reason for unsuccessful marriage, so marry the person with whom u share compatibility and understanding do not give much importance to caste , religion and region.
I wonder how many Muslim women will agree to have inter-religion marriage. Secondly to do inrer-religion marriage they need to 1st keep their burqas aside. So hindu girls need to stop promoting inter-religion marriage. We are from a country which has gone through a partition on religious lines which in turn was the result of demographic change. Muslims of Pakistan are ex-Hindus but that did not stop them from asking for partition. So deepshikha please wake up and don't be so naive.
U r wrong...maximum indians are hhappy marrying in their caste..the girl who goes to other caste suffers.....boys mother is unsatisfied.....and u have to face backlash from other society
Jo log Pak chuke hai apni caste ke relatives se vahi log intercaste kr rahe hai because apni caste me relatives shadi ke time pagal kr dete hai and aane vali Bahu court case.jahan compatibility ho vahi bacche life partner la re Hain this is good
I am a South Indian girl married to a North indian man. Yes, there are frictions surrounding cultures. For eg- i find North indians loud and speak with cuss words in normal conversations also. They're not bad people though.... But the good thing is that me and my husband married quite late in our 30's and we do understand the cultural differences and take our own time to respond to such differences giving each other time, space as well as freedom. There is no parental interference also. I guess marrying late does have a few positives also.
I am from Punjabi married to maharashtrian Brahman happily married for 50 years one of my daughter in law is Bengali and other one is English happily married for 15 and 20 years all are doctors very happy
So your English Daughter in law is Hindu or Christian.She is British or NRI settled in UK. To marry in another caste is fighter but another religion is wrong.
Sir,you are so far sighted ,you understand the practicalities of life so well,the examples you give to explain certain situations are so relatable..they make understanding so simple and crystal clear.May God bless you with healthy life,society is indebted to you.Aap bahut punya ka kaam kar rahe hai.Please accept our gratitude 🙏🙏🙏🙏
My entire family has always married outside caste and culture. My father is a Rajput and my mother is a brahmin. We were never adopted by both the cultures and for a long time there was hostility in both families. When time came to my marriage I was never accepted in both castes so had to venture out and marry a bengali brahmin girl out of love. Our family is doing exceedingly well and now there is no problems. My bengali family is very supportive of me.
@@princeofheaven19 very few people like you actually say nice stuff about life and don't make it seem like undoable. Thank you for the encouragement, i myself am planning to have an intercaste marriage and have worked on the relationship for ages. Watching this video made me super depressed and got me questioning everything, but seeing your comment was the only good thing i needed. Thank you for being positive and throwing light on the good stuff in life...
@@nehashirodkar1273 I understand where you are coming from and I will not paint a rosy picture. For me it was easier as we never had an extended family support from the time of my parents. If you are a first in your family doing intercaste and if both families are conservative then they will not support you and the couple is on its own. Secondly your kids will always be second class in either castes in the next generation. Love marriage will be their only option.
@@princeofheaven19 my sibling has had a intercaste marriage and i know the consequences and it's very sad and depressing that society has conditional acceptance, but I'm tired of trying to fit in and i know the difficulties that will come but atleast someone is willing to start a life with me with an understanding of me and my life. My family has had a lot of intercaste and inter religious marriages and largely we are treated differently in our society. Eventually for us what has mattered is that the couple manage the marriage. Thank you for the conversation it really helped me reduce the stress in my head
I am a South Indian married to a north Indian, I agree with what he says. I find we quarrel on topics which is so normal in our community. Adjustment is not that easy on day to day basis. As long you live aboard it's ok. But it's a nightmare to imagine to raise kids in between two families.
Main issue is the couple living under one roof with saas sasur or joint family. Conflicts are bound to happen there. Even in same caste marriage it happens, you know the whole story. Thats the main issue. If couple lives separately then intercaste mrg or food etc is not a big issue. Ab ek hi ghar main sas sasur Tamil wife aur haryanvi husband rahega to kalah to hou hi. Vo to same caste main bhi hoi hai. Please don't discourage intercaste mrg as it is the best way out to get rid of caste system and close the possibility of communal hatred in India. Jab sab rishtedar ho gaye to danga fasad kiske sath karoge? Soche india Pakistani aapas main shadi karein to kya yuddh karenge?
@An Ethical Perspective right...ye khud nuclear family promote kr rhe the pichli video me...ki paisa hie sbbkuch h...2 ghar me rho..taaki rishta bhi Bach jaye ...or privacy b mile.
I think this is liberal thought process and practical if parents also stay in megacities like mumbai banglore in nuclear families and have almost given up being too rigid in their practises. Issues come when the parents have a joint family, stay in their homeplace since birth and have a deep rooted connection to their practises. Then it becomes difficult because you cannot give up your parents. So it depends i guess on circumstances.
I was a Punjabi girl married to a south Indian , now separated Yes food is a very imp part of our lives , you can eat exotic food 7-8 days max , afterwards you wanna eat your desi food because that’s what satisfies your soul. Someone who ate rice once a week to have rice 3 times a day as a torture of sorts If I cooked my own food or gave it my husband they felt so threatened that I am trying to make that guy Punjabi.Even if I tried following their culture , their way of doing pooja , etc it was always pointed out that how I did it wrong , imagine they would bad mouth me in front of me as I cudnt understand their language. My husbands family was never interested in teaching me their language, it was only my office colleagues who taught me that language. Yes south Indians may be very educated ,soft spoken compared to north people, but they are hundred times more conservative with regards to their culture and traditions to the point of being suffocating. Most of the time I was adjusting , compromising .My identity as an individual had just vanished .Life just became about following their lifestyle. Imagine my educated husband left me outside my office entrance at 7AM as by 9AM Solar eclipse was occurring and he was not ready to have me on road at 9AM. I stood 2 hours outside my office. Intercaste , inter religion marriages do well when both the partners are staying alone abroad. As aboard both wont be able to follow their culture and food habits , so it is more easy. I have loads of IT friends who have done these inter marriages and are settled abroad happily. and yes parents should talk calmly reasoning out the things rather than just shouting and getting annoyed
I am a Punjabi girl was married to a South Indian. His family and relatives were outright abusive towards my culture. I always loved South Indian culture but after the filthy things they kept saying about my community, culture, I feel very hurt. Outwardly they were very traditional but reality was they were not spiritual inside. And yes they wanted as much dowry as possible. Not at all simple and traditional people as they like to show.
@@agnihotrivikas007 Thank you...marrying is easy but getting a divorce takes ages..so please marry very wisely , love isnt the only factor in marriage as shown in our garbage movies.
I can speak for my experience - I am a Gujarati, born and bred in India for the first 20 years of life. Had a forceful arranged marriage within community at the age of 19. There were problems in the marriage from day one, but no parents/relatives came forward to help, talk with husband/in-laws to bring a solution, etc. Everybody acted dumb, blind, and oblivious. Finally took the decision, and got divorced after almost a decade on my own. Today, in a relationship with a white American with nothing in common except empathy, strong character, and good human values. As long as one is trained/knows how to be respectful, understanding, accepting, compatible, egoless, having integrity, willingness to work things out, mature, and minding one's own business in a good way, things can almost always work out, and thankfully these great traits are not caste/community/religion specific. Food, festivals, clothing, culture, etc are good common things to have but these things have nothing to do in the making of a satisfactory and succesful relationship and/or marriage.
Can't agree more...I have done an intercaste marriage, happily settled and from experience saying that yup..its takes hell lot of adjustments...so pl choose wisely
I am a north indian and husband is south Indian.... There are problems.... But I strongly believe if u r financially strong then....... Both sides will be okay ....money has the power to solve everything.... ..... Same cast marriages also have problems.....there r differences and problems everywhere....................we r living happily.
you are correct.Another example is of an Indian girl marrying a WHITE MAN. Tab kisi Indian ko koi problem nahi hoti as a WHITE MAN brings stsuts because we are obsessed with "GORI CHAMDI" .Then koi bi Culture etc nahi dekhta.Sab adjust ho jaata hain. Meri 2 managers the office ke.Unhone apne se 10 years+ older WHITE MEN se shaadi ki aur US chali gayi. Koi bi Indian parents ko problem nahi... STAUTS AND MONEY CHANGE EVERYTHING!!!
Yes, when you want to depend on your relatives for everything then they will poke their nose into your inter region marriage If you are financially independent they don't get a chance to do their BS
Intercaste marriage or same caste marriage both are doomed if both partners are not enlightened and mature enough. One benefit of intercaste marriage is that it discourages casteism and improvement in child genes. Intercaste marriage se jaativaad shayad khatm ho jaaye india main. Assam Rajasthan wala aapka example theek nahi. Jo jahan rahega vahin ka culture adopt karega. Ye to same caste main bhi hota hai jab bachhe out of state ya foreign rehte hain to unko bhi apni bhasha aur food ka pata nahi hota.
Anyone who are in love, please go for it. There is no guaranteed same caste or intercaste Marriage can makes you happy. The beauty of love is that it doesn't see one's color, religion, place of birth, it's ultimate connection between two people which many arranged marriage ppl won't understand in their whole life time.
Excellent video.Eminently sensible advice.Love transcends caste in marriages. But love rocket fizzles out soon.Then intercaste differences hit. Differences in families and lifestyle present problems specially to the newly wedded bride. Add to that differences of food habits ( veg, non veg,...) aggresiveness, customs, festivals in intercaste marriages. Be conscious of these and your ability to reconcile, and only then jump into an intercaste marriage, if you may.
Very correct and deeply analysed video. Great work Looking forward for more such videos on different practical topics of life,relationship & career. Thank you so much again for making such a thoughtful and wonderful video👋👋👋
I have seen many intercaste and inter-religious couples having a successful married life for the last 30 years. On the other side I have seen a marriage in the same caste but could not last for even a year and ultimately led to divorce.
I have seen many same caste marriages where the couple is very happy. On the other side I have seen inter-caste and inter-religion love marriage where the couple always fights.
Your comparison is totally wrong because what's the % of intercaste/religion marriages as compared to intra one's? Not even 20%.So you can't compare the two it totally depends on the partners and their families but still the lesser the variables the smoother the life would be in my opinion.
Partially agree, Partially not .. I Being maheshwari marwari ( born and brought up in maharashtra) married to hard-core punjabi guy from jalandhar ... yes initially I faced many turbulence but later on everything went on smooth. ( many things like behaviour of mother in law or other relatives .... boy already knows how is his mother and other relatives.... boy should be open and transparent in depicting their nature to his would be wife.....) Whyy .. because mutual respect between husband and wife. I learnt cooking authentic punjabi food after my marriage and he learnt to enjoy my marawari plus maharashtrian food. I think in intercast marriage...... maturity and mutual understanding is utmost important factor ..... then everything becomes easier.... otherwise even u marry in same cast u will definitely hit the turbulence and deep stone.
"Every action has a consequesnces. Ap action lete ho, par consequence nahi pata hota he, wahi me batata hu, so you take calculated decision." Really grateful that you are sharing all these life experiences and sutras with us,
I totally agree, within caste marriage itself has so many differences . Mindset is affected by upbringing, environment . Even if one person is from city and other from town , mindset changes BTW appreciate the conscious effort " mahila"
You are not just marrying a person you are going into a new complex world where the challenge is to make balance with adjustments towards different aspects of life.
Thank you sir for so detailed analysis on inter caste marriages the content was very good and it will give lot of guidance to all girls and boys. Thank you !!
My marriage is inter caste and Inter region and we and both families are very happy since past 31 years. My only son may marry from entirely different community. So as future mother in law I am a little anxious. But as you suggested, proper discussion with the couple as well as both sets of parents is absolutely necessary to overcome all the hiccups.
@@ar66281hota hai.. job karne dusre state mein jaoge toh bhi stereotyping hota hai.. aur phir bhi job karne ja rahe hai.. but idhar mein marriage ki baat ho rahi
Thank you for the video. The lines that touched me- 1. Samaj to jaisa hai Vaisala rahega. Vo nahi badlega. 2. Once your in laws reach 70 75 they stop interfering in your life related to cultural things
Much required was this eye opener video. Sir, you touched every issue pertaining to this subject. This will surely motivate people towards a more practical approach in life. ❤️🙏 Chances of divorce and/or other conflicts with in the partners and their parents are imminent. Cultural exceptence and practice is not easy for any of them. Children to such couples do get confused by the culture differences of their parents. Regards sir for bringing forth such great content 🙏
Sir you are not a speaker on some bold topics, you are a true LEGEND, who is removing the dust infront of eyes, of thought process. Your words and thought process is on practical issues of life. I Respect you sir for your work. May god bless you.
Have faced this live. Have almost stopped talking to inlaws. Forcing me to do rituals, preferring hygiene in kitchens puja rooms but not in bathrooms...and thinking that teaching me a hygiene course as a part of bahu grooming.
100% correct. I had a practical marriage where i only saw the education of the guy and his sense of responsibility thats all. Everything else paled in comparison to the potential and capability of this person. Though there were many issues the practical aspects acted as a cushion to the marriage. And after many years i discovered all marriages around me are same including the ones that started with lot of love. The practical aspects took over after a period of time and by that time we had developed love within our marriage. ;)
Sir, you have very aptly explained the challenges of intercaste/interstate marriage... The points you have presented are very very accurate... I confirm this from my own experience..
Oh God... U nailed it. What a great video. Much needed one. Very nicely articulated. Recently gone through this... My parents denied for intercaste/interreligion marriage. And now I understood what they were saying how factual that was. I was still in that pain somewhere. But after watching this, feeling much more lighter. Thanks sir. It's blessing that people like u exist. That's why I love RU-vid so much.
Marriages work based on the individuals concerned. Same caste, region etc helps in tiding over the initial years where there is so much of stress to adapt to the new customs, culture etc. But later it is on the individuals concerned to work on that and take a midway. As sir has stressed in many of the videos, we need to prioritise the relationships, money matters etc as he always suggests. Many inter marriages work while same type marriages end up in divorces too. General feeling is that of understanding the individuals and respecting, then all marriages would work.
@@shaangaming350ha islye widow remarriage allowed nhi krte😂sati child marriage aur mere gaav mai th ek aurat ko 10 vche hai 32 yrs old bullshit saare riti riwaaz sanatan se hu
@@theunusualgyan9940 KISNE BOLA WIDOW MARRIGE ALLOWED NHI HAI . BY LAW GOVERMENT PROMOTE KARTI WIDOW MARRIGE ON BASIS OF HINDU MARRIGE ACT JISME SPEACIAL GRANTS AND PERKS MILTE HAI .GO AND CHEACK WOMEN Or baat bachee ki tu HINDU mai 1.8 child per women hai jo ki replacement rate se bhi kaam hai Balki muslim Mai 2.54 child per women hai jo ki average rate of children hai . Statistics padh ke aa . And I am reporting your comments in misleading information and cyber crime Mai apki report Kar rha hun I'd, usske baad Mai apka IP ADDRESS TRACK HOGA FIR APKE PAAS PHONE AYEGA CUBER INSPECTOR KA UNSE BAAT KARNA .
Excellent analysis sir. 100 percent accurate and practical. When a couple fall in love they don't realise what will be the consequences after marriage and when they grow old they realise the mistake.
31:15 Irodov-shirodov 🤣🤣 Thanks for the clarity. I'd look for some linear equations to solve in the future and avoid complex integration and differentiation.
i am 24 and i have held same view mentioned in this video quite early. I have watched other videos of yours and that has been my view quite early in my life. Good to see you explaining and laying out the thought process. Lot of my friends think i am too conservative but they dont want to understand actual practicality.
I had a 2 states marriage and am really happy … yes i do agree in most cases you do make adjustments … there is loss of culture, a bit of confusion but the person you love and marry is worth all that … both can sort of make way for new norm… its much much better than sacrificing your love and marring a someone what ok compatibility person just so there is less issue… all this is dependent on lot of factors and different case to case but i believe if you find “the. Person” then such small changes are totally worth it 😊
I would stick to the advice given in first few minutes. If you do such marriage after a certain age of maturity, like 30years then you are smart enough to marry as you like. I have also done intercaste, inter region marriage and in my relatives we are seen as a great example of happy couple. So it all depends upon how mature you are and how much can you mold yourself for your partner's happiness. Btw, my wife is a doctor and is very good at cooking and can cook all kinds of Indian and western food items. So that may be a reason for my happy married life .. I don't know 😅😅
@@IamSoangelic i was blessed to have stayed alone for many years during studies and job. So even i know basic level cooking and can cook proper dinner whenever needed.
Lord Krishna said about 4 varna and to keep them separated atleast for producing future generations. Every caste has its own characteristics in their DNA. Don't play with GOD creation and its rule
In these times when everyone fears being judged about political correctness of their speech, I have never come across anyone who is as fearless, pragmatic or who speaks with such depth of knowledge than you Sir🙏🏻 Personally, I liked someone and we were great friends, had I pursued it, getting married was not an issued However I choose not to move in that direction as there was nothing common among our families, No love lasts a lifetime, After few years it comes down to what u can choose to tolerate and bear everyday. Nobody is perfect, but the contempt of familiar imperfections is far better than the frustration of unfamiliar imperfections.
You have nailed it. All the issues that you have discussed are bang on correct. I come across similar issues being raised by couples in stressed marriages.
Such a complex topic explained quite simply and easy to relate/comprehend manner. My faith is not the the same as sanatana dharma but i am very impressed with this - "actions and their consequences". Too good. Thank you sir
100% agree on each point , i believed in the same so went for an arranged marriage and happy with my decision .Also do make a video on live in relationship at the earliest for young generation ❤️😇🙏👌
Sir aapki hr baat se agree krti hun. Meri arranged marriage huyi thi. punjab se MP mein ayi. Parathe, Sarno ka saag makki ki roti ki jgh poha jlebi aur kachori samosa pr zindagi guzarni pr rhi hai. Culture alg, khana alg, traditions alg, soch alg, uthna bethna baat krna sb alg. Do naav pr svar hona prta hai. Jaape mein panjiri nhi mili kyonki punjab mein gond aur soond se bnti hai jo MP vale digest nhi kr skte.... body mind sb out of control ho gya.... Sir ki baat Mano.... 2-4 din adjust krna aur life time krne mein frk hota hai. Bche sbse zyada piste hain. Husband ko punjab mein leftover lgta hai aur mujhe MP mein. Bahut tragic hai Smjhiye nya jnm jismein aapko poori past life yaad ho aur aap n is life ke rhe n uss life ke
Very nice and brutally honest articulation...ek ek shabd sach hai...life is not a fairy tale and the aspects mentioned should be considered before taking the most important decision of one's life..
Terrific Video Sir. I'm a 27 yr old guy. I once used to be an liberal leftist but became a conservative over the years when maturity kicked in. On this topic, I also developed the same thought process that you mentioned. People do not realise the amount of culture shock one can get in intercaste marriages, specially the girl after she starts to live with the boys family. Leave states aside, here in Bharat culture changes every 100 kms. Even different castes living in same city have very different way of living which has developed in their community thru hundreds of yrs due to their community profession. Liberals disregard this practical historic relevance of things over superficial criticism influenced by the urban city culture which is nothing but sort of western globalised culture. On a funny note, Since I'll be looking for a girl to marry in coming yrs, Sir you can start your own marriage agency only for people who watch your videos. Atleast one would be sure that the individual he/she is going to marry would be a wise person as they consume your content.😛🙏🏼
@@naveenchaudhary4072 thats right... True liberal is a diff thing and being leftist is whole diff caste altogether...we should be liberal and practical..
I would say living with a joint family would be tougher but when only a couple is living by themselves then it would be easier to adjust. But you both will have to adjust either way.
If you marry a person from another religion, there is an immense pressure on you to convert. You may be a vegetarian and the partner may be a non vegetarian.
Very true topic My parents r intercaste and I have faced this confusion and ridicule in life Luckily I found husband who is very close cultural and religious like me
Can you / will you make a lecture session to the elders of all families how they should assist the intermarried couple instead of becoming one more hindrance to their happiness. There are intermarried families where the husband AND his family members take care of the girl's religious / cultural beliefs and customs and vice versa the wife and her family also take care of the boy's culture and customs. This is the system which you should implement as an elder and teach to other elders.
nice , practical discussion , this is the reality , which many young blood will not agree, kuch log dusaro se sun kar samajh pate hai , aur kuch apna haath jala kar hi sikhte hai , it's individual . marriage is a name of adjustments from both the sides . you are 100% right .
I am north indian brahmin girl married to south indian non brahmin family. Families background also stark difference. I would say well researched content and practical advice. Deep insights without any judgement. Below are my experiences: I was dark skinned ugly girl for my society, but in south i was accepted and appreciated for my beauty 😅😅😅. I am vegetarian, so my husband did ask me to cook non veg at home. And allowed him to eat outside. 🍗🍗🍗🍗. We both are working, didn't get much time to celebrate any festival and do ceremony. We don't live with our families and far from our hometowns. I missed gond laddu after my pregnancy 😢 In general We are neither accepted by North indian or south Indian famlies as family friends😂 But I kinda hated typical UP Brahmins seeing my mother suffering....so took big risk. I was lucky . . . .
Marry someone when you both can adopt and adjust each other's family and their lifestyle. Similarly makes your life easier, learned this after living with different people as room mate. Jitna insan mere se similar tha utna life peaceful tha.
Sango sir , each and every word of yours is right.... marriages are between families..... there is lot of adjustment for both the sides .... and some things are to be considered before getting married..... and I truly agree to your thoughts
