I filed for divorce bcuz he became emotionally distant first… then he started picking on the small things, then more & more emotionally distant…. To finally catching him cheating. Tony is 110% correct on this topic!!
My has been distant for years. He was arrested by a drug house with a woman. They both went to jail. No i didnt pick him up at the jail, he walked home and she probably did too. He sleeps on the couch for years and still does. OMG!!!
Just want to say thank you. You’ve helped me so much during this pandemic. Left a toxic relationship, building my RU-vid channel & selling my books. I’m turning my pain into purpose.
I filed for divorce. Because he started being really really mean and was starting to get physical. Yelling in my face in front of the children. I knew it was time to go to the lawyer
@@zamamaduma7424 I figured that too. That’s why I didn’t hesitate. Now he’s trying to get back in good, sending flowers and things. I don’t even act like I’m flattered. Because I’m not. He’d have to do 3 360’s for me to even THINK about reconsidering this marriage.
People need to quit lying and tell the truth! The number 1 reason for divorce is infidelity. Most women who file for divorce, was because their husbands was cheating. I don't even understand why get married if you're just going to be cheating?
Right i agree with you on that. I guess its better to know now and whats to come before if we ever decide to take the plunge. I will not marry again. This is my second time and they both are liars and cheaters. Sometime i wanted to cheat but i wasnt raise that way to demoralized myself.
yeah but cant you see they will cheat? I have a male friend who wants marriage and looks at all women and is silent, change subjects when I mention loyalty and morals..never marry a man that change subjects ..I feel you can discern something is off right from the beginning
I try to understand men and tbe other side with out being a pick miesha because I like to understand. I think men a d women are different and men experience love through sex while women experience love through conversation. When there is an emotional disconnect and the man doesnt know himself and his triggers sins and vices the marriage is doomed from the start. Men and women arent honest with themselves before getting into marriage. Many women want to control the man and men want to manipulate the woman so they cheat. Men get an ego boost from sex with multiple women because men crave adoration respect and worship from women. But it's an endless loop. When the man cheats the wife loses respect and then when the man doesnt feel like his wife is respecting him or he feels inferior to her because she has more education or a higher paying job he cheats. A man can literally have a beautiful educated wife that cooks and cleans and still cheat because his mommy issues have not been resolved and he Chooses to get his needs met in another womans bosom.
The cheating person is trying to prove to themselves that they can be n a committed relationship. Its beyond sad that another will use a person in that way.
We grew apart. He was talking to a girl at work too much. Then of a sudden he wasn't coming home, sex stopped, fighting started...Tony it is exactly as you say
Life coach Lisa- filed for DIVORCE after 23 years [3children] because of LUST. I was overtired of sharing. 5+ yrs single//abstinent and better off now than ever.
Hi Tony, Cheating was the reason that I filled for a divorce. You are absolutely correct the number one reason women are filling for a divorce is cheating.
I am currently separated and am heading toward divorce due to my husband’s infidelity. You are right those behaviors you described were precursors to me finding out that he was cheating.
Tony I was that girl that never envisioned marriage. I did fall in love and I have a grown son that I raised by myself. I am very proud of him, he just received his bachelor’s degree. I am the epitome of single and very happy. I see clearly and I am fulfilled spiritually my time is spent mastering myself and building a new business. I am very disappointed with the lust and immaturity of men. I feel complete, whole and clean. I will not sacrifice that for anyone. I wish my fellow women would love themselves more and not think that they are incomplete without a man. Some men deplete you. I had a very loving and providing father as well. So I do know what a man is. Life is to be lived!
And every other man that they meet will do the same . That saying that says All men cheat is true. No man is going to be with one woman for 80 plus years. It doesn’t exist anymore
I filed for divorce because he was abusive, cheated on me with his bm and his homosexual friends. Caught the evidence on his phone still traumatized and finding it hard to heal, hasn’t been one year yet.. lust is the devil
Spiritual warfare is a MUST. This is why we HAVE to have God in our life and your marriage. I'm binding the spirits of lust, porn, perversion, etc. from off my future husband (and will continue to do so after we get married.)
Yeah Tony my first marriage ended because of porn. I'd rather be single than a housemaid /servant to somebody who is eyeballing and lusting after everyone but me. Because that's what it felt like - it felt like slavery because there was no love. Porn and lust kill love. People should know.
Tony, this is exactly what happened to my 20 year marriage. Everything you said. His Lust. Your examples are also how my husband cheated. I filed for divorce but I hated doing it. I loved my husband....but I didn't feel loved by him. It's a sad thing, truly.
I got married and divorced very young. I filed and he dragged it out even after being separated for a while. But the marriage broke down because he was lazy and kept quitting jobs and wanted me to be the bread winner while he sat around making music. It wasn't what I had signed up for
And its also the enemy, the devil hates marriages, so he goes after the men, men are the head of the household and he uses the men to break up marriages and families.
True, my dad never brought up any complaints or arguments about money until after he cheated, and got major depression. Then $ was suddenly an issue. Paycheck to paycheck, tight budgeting for years. But now it is a problem…?
I was actually a little surprised at the reason. So basically they end how they start because most marriages started out from falling into lust and then going from there lol. Hmmmm interesting 🤔. I appreciate this discussion on lust. I have been removing all lust from my spirit for about 2 years now. Just being totally disciplined in that area and it was half inspired by Tony.
When a man looks at a women in lust he has already committed adultry in his heart. It is not just the physical act when it comes to cheating in a marriage.
But, everyone commits adultery in their heart. Including women. We have all had unfaithful or ungodly thoughts before. But when you ACT on them, thats when its cheating. A man flirting with a woman also would get called out and reprimanded as well. That’s something where he’s headed down a path where he’s going to completely destroy the relationship he has chasing other women.
@@Mindsetolympics its about lack of boundaries and no self awareness and immaturity- you are right in that lust is an issue for both sexes- heaven knows i’ve struggled with it but with the Holy Spirit, maturity and being willing to look at the root issues with lust you can overcome it so that it no longer rules your life and grow and become healthy and whole inside and out
@@Mindsetolympics Not everyone commits adultery in their heart in marriage. Lusting after a women is different then just looking at a women. This comment is intended about marriage. When you are committed to a women you shouldn't be out lusting after other women it is against moral law. If you feel the need to do this then split up with your partner and let them go because this is something nobody should be subjected to it is hurtful and demoralizing to the marriage partner.
Tony is absolutely right. I separated from my husband in January and filing for divorce because of betrayal, lust, disrespect, disloyalty, infidelity, no self-control, no accountability, no gratitude, ungrateful, lack of emotional intellectual & financially abusive just to name a few. I finally gathered the strength to leave. Our son and my bonus daughter was no longer a reason for me to stay, I deserved better, THEY deserved better. The thought of being a single mother would scare me and put me in a deep depression but now I wear it as a badge of honor, a sign of strength and courage to NOT settle!!! Tony....your videos have been monumental in aiding and assisting in my healing journey. I THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart. Much love and respect to you and your beautiful family. ❤
I field for divorce because I could not handle his behavior health, he could not keep a job, and he always would bring his mother into our relationship.
I'm a REAL person. I use a picture of flowers because I'm under protection from my Ex-Husband. I filed for divorce because of Abuse & cheating. Tony is absolutely right about that.
Married twice divorced twice. Called off an engagement. Tony you know what you are talking about! Continue to keep telling the truth! My prayer is that more men will begin to listen to you and actually apply it to their lives. I filed for divorce both times. Thank you!
I'm filing for divorce today. My reason for filing is he is emotionally detached, ego, and lust. Thanks for this video Tony Gaskins. This video is confirmation to move forward with the process.
I'm currently separated from my husband now and he's treating me like I'm public enemy #1. I am not perfect but I never would have violated our marriage by cheating in any kind of way, but here's the thing I find the text messages on his phone between him and another woman that he works with asking her out and now that I have exposed him he is extremely angry with me and he can't give a reason why he just keep saying he doesn't know why he sent her the text or he says he didn't mean for the text to sound that way. After 11 years of marriage, I should have seen it coming. I've turned a blind eye to a lot of BS in the past; however, going foward, I'm not doing that anymore! I'm saving me time to break the soul tie!! Thank you Tony G your videos have helped me tremendously
Filed divorce for cheating and the lustfulness as u stated...God knows I will love again in my 40s marriage over 30 years, in court now.... God knows ... I won't go back 🙏 🙌
I would also add that living together before marriage is also a reason for high divorce rates- the stats do not lie- even researchers who do not come from a biblical worldview agree that playing house before marriage causes a couple to have a 50% higher chance of divorcing over couples who wait- the thrill is gone quick because you had your wedding night as soon as you moved in or got physical the first time with each other
@@overcomerbtbojesus sorry I’m late to replying to you, I think being engaged before marriage is fine or Atleast if you are going to move in together you should at least be engaged but for my comment I meant if y’all do move in together YOU NEVER MOVE A GUY IN that’s a red flag if you live together a man should move you in or y’all get a place together
I think social media has damaged us, especially the weaker amongst us, male or females. It’s too easy to scroll and send a DM instead of taking accountability and working on yourself and your relationship. I believe one day, relationships will fall by the wayside as we know them today.
This is completely on point. This is my marriage as we speak. Every single part of it. My husband is “that guy”. He’s the guy that causes the rift so he can do what he wants to do. So far it’s not physical but it’s headed there! His entire being is consumed by it.
You ARE THE REALEST Brotha EVER!!! I believe that it’s Lust. I’ve known and seen so many divorces and hear I thought it was money but the backdrop boils down to lust. Although, I’ve never married- being too picky at the core- in past made foolish choices, dummied down a few times or wasted years. I’m Sure Grateful God allowed me to come across your path 💛. Never too late to learn… so I know when the right man comes as my husband..
🥰🥰 this video is a good D E P I C T I O N of the Woman’s bodies and what she goes thru. Thank u for the recognition for all us WOMEN. 👍🏾👍🏾😌😌 thanks T O N Y 📢📢 G R E A T analysis 🙌🏾🙌🏾
Years after this video has been posted, & I’m seeking answers after being betrayed. Everything you said is true and I’m struggling. 5 years married and two small babies and I thought I did everything right, but here we are. Thank you for this video. And pray for me if you’re reading this
Tony, this video has made me think deeper about why I divorced my husband. On paper, I divorced him because of this lack of responsibility at home and with finances and being the leader of our family. He was a person that watched "P" movies and nasty images DAILY. Guess that lust is what keep him from being a Grown man. I take responsibility for entertaining his drive and not be consistent with voicing my feelings about his behavior. Thanks again!! You always on point
Thank you, my husband did just that 2 years ago, woke up one morning and decided to leave and blamed me for his leaving.... I was blind sided, turned out he was an affair with a girl (I say girl because a real women doesn't mess with a married man) at work. It was the hardest season in my life and I wish it on no one. Tony you are doing amazing work and service to us all. Be blessed sir!!!
That’s why we as woman need to have our own money and life and create our own happiness because when this happens we can move one quick and replace the jerk
It’s sad because most men indulge in porn, twerk videos, etc. 🥴 You really have to use discernment and have the holy spirit when dating these days. thanks for the message Tony!
Most men are not going to watch these videos(not mines) bc these videos will hit them to hard to the core. So they go and watch people name Kevin and things that tears the women down and build the man ego. Nothing they should be looking at bc I watch videos and almost fell to the floor bc of what was being said.
@@crys______ yes that fairytale shit does not exist. They all cheat and they don’t all really love you and if they do maybe for the first few years . And when you have kids it gets worse with the man . So if he’s not making you happy . Move on . Don’t waste time in a miserable relationship. Have your own money and have fun while you’re at it …
Hey Tony you are so right I been thru the same thing in my first marriage my husband started complaining about bills, and I was like you the main one spending money. He was a truck driver and stayed on the road. But he would come home on the weekends long story short, he started complaining at first and then after 10 years of marriage he said he didn’t love me anymore. Come find out right after the divorce he had a child coming and move her right in right after our divorce.
Porn was an issue from the beginning ....but after 10 yrs of back and forth with it with him...it was enough. He did fight against it and seek help the first 5 yrs. The last 5 he tried to get me to accept it and I refused. End of story.
Hi NephewTony, everything you're saying is absolutely true. When I was pregnant with our second child, he was a different person. We know longer really had a sex life. It was definitely other people in the picture. Never saw anything, but I knew. He made a statement to me " lets face it baby you brought nothing to the table" . I was flabbergasted. However I did say back" let's face it baby I brought everything to the table ". When I met him , he had just started his llaw practice. I got him a secretary ( my niece) . I put up the down payment for our first home. We grew up differently. I was raised in an affluent neighborhood and he didn't. The more money he made the worse he treated me. Now that he has money, here come the gold diggers. When I loved him when he had nothing. I filled for divorce 2018. We have a good relationship now. It took time. I had to forgive him so I could heal. SDG
You're absolutely correct Tony! When we went to counseling, after his adultery, that's what the male counselor told my ex. He said, "Blank, you have some undealt with lust."
Love don’t exist here anymore . It’s money and your own happiness. A man is disposable if he doesn’t treat you right . That’s what I’ve learned . I don’t get attached anymore . I came out of an abusive relationship. Never again
I filed for divorce after I stayed 5 additional years for the children. He wouldn’t work in 10 years and then became physical abusive while I was pregnant. I was called a fake Christian by his mother for filing. Now he’s remarried she’s 10 years younger and taking care of him. He still isn’t working.
Hopefully she’ll grow up and realize her worth as well. Men love women who don’t hold them accountable. What you allow will continue, What continues will escalate.
Thank you! I recently filed for divorce from my husband of 7 years for this main reason. I even thought it was me not loving him enough as the cause of why he was always stepping out. when busted he would apologize,cry and promises to do better, he than would find better ways to hide it and continue to do it. He would say my "family means everything to me I need you and my children." Naw I was convient and now that I have filed its been a month since he's seen our children.. But we matter right? I found the strength to finally leave. Best decision I've made.. I understand my worth and my value and lost sight of God's purpose for me trying to keep my family intact and fighting for someone who didn't value or appreciate me. Gotta love yourself and its okay to be alone to heal and work on finding your purpose and happiness. Let go and let God lead the way!
Tony, I appreciate you being so transparent with your relationships and marriage. We have to talk about these sort of things to get to the root of the issues in our lives.
I'm filing for divorce within the next year. I am filing for LUST! He's addicted to porn and yes I have noticed that he will at times create or exacerbate an argument so he can be alone to do stupid things. I also agree with Tony that he will be tense and extra snappish because of his sin. Now, back to the video.
I filed for divorce because he was horrible with money as in lights getting disconnected and mortgage was behind, he stopped communicating with me, and then he had the audacity to say he needed to go find himself after we have been married for three years, then he had his mother and sisters all in our business telling lies on me like I mistreating him..I was too done. We had been to marriage counseling three times. I was too done. I can do bad by myself as a single mother. I had to move to another state for him to stop stalking and harassing me. I just packed my house and kid up as was gone. I regained my peace back. My stress levels went down and life was much better for me and my kid.
My husband's lust for me never changed from the beginning. I discovered that all he wanted from me was sex and home-cooked food. Yet, he never took me on dates and we barely conversed. It was tv and sex -- that was our life and I was done with that. A woman is a person with emotional needs and some of us want to be appreciated for more than what we do in the bed especially when you have children, So, yes it's lust and we may not appreciate it if they don't cheat and look at pornography instead.
most men don’t even give one thought about what you are talking about what the woman sacrifice ect or that women are created for love not for just being a girlfriend or an option
I am going through a separation/divorce as I speak now being my husband was very lustful before we got married. Then after we got married brand new husband was lusting after my girlfriend on the day of my wedding day. Even have a picture of him hugging her as though he was marrying her. Cheating/Lust he told me that he wanted to quit the marriage just a few days ago. He’s always angry when he sees or talking to me. Every time I checked him about being on his phone and computer looking at other women, he would get on a defensive saying he wasn’t doing anything. I just couldn’t trust him and never believed him. Also he had ED which couldn’t stay up always soft as cotton. Didn’t fulfill his part in marriage. I can’t miss what I never had. Bye Boy divorce me. Addicted to drugs, too. Glad to be back to being single. Didn’t ask to get married to him. He wanted to rush and get married it was all bad and wasn’t supposed to have married him. BYE GROWN BOY
I am divorcing after 28 years..he was cheating the entire time with anything he could get. Some really nasty pigs..just still cant believe it all..wish I had a do over..I wouldnt have wasted my one life on such a freak
My now ex husband was having an affair with his co worker and she was also married and he treated me like trash, he wouldn't talk to me, he turned his back on me, he wouldn't touch me, he acted like he hated my guts, he would stay at work really late, so I knew something was wrong so I filed for a divorce, I'm not tolerating disrespect.
