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The 2 Greatest Words In Any Relationship | Jefferson & Alyssa Bethke 

Jeff & Alyssa
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Discover God's better way for sex, dating, marriage, and love in our new book here: amzn.to/2tecrvz
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7 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 217   
@twebasenoi
@twebasenoi 8 лет назад
The way Alyssa looks at Jeff is priceless! :) #relationshipgoals
@brandonlee3992
@brandonlee3992 8 лет назад
I was just thinking that
@jefferaimer
@jefferaimer 8 лет назад
yes.
@chelseamahabir9007
@chelseamahabir9007 8 лет назад
yesssss
@Mysoulcried
@Mysoulcried 8 лет назад
So true! Don't fight your spouse, fight for your spouse
@savannahling4681
@savannahling4681 8 лет назад
"it's about winning the person, not the argument" Love it Alyssa. btw, your videos are so sharp and clean, love the look!
@jareddaniels6352
@jareddaniels6352 8 лет назад
This literally stopped, what could have been a fight, before it could start with my fiancé and I. Thank you two so much for these videos.
@peter-brandonchristensen5878
@peter-brandonchristensen5878 8 лет назад
A complementary principle to apologizing is being vulnerable when we have been hurt. I love what Brené Brown has said about the role of boundaries in growing love as well as how blame is the complete opposite of true healthy accountability. Accountability is a vulnerable process and it is what allows us to truly forgive. When we have been hurt, We can't just say,"it's okay" and be done. That is complacency, we are not going through the work of being vulnerable, laying our pain on the altar, and allowing Christ to transform the relationship through grace.
@wakingtoglory4388
@wakingtoglory4388 8 лет назад
Great advice and principles. My husband and I have implemented these same values in our marriage and it has helped us tremendously over the years. We even teach these principles to our kids. Sorry doesn't communicate heartfelt ownership unless it is expounded upon. We are in our 18th year of marriage and our love and commitment to each other is stronger than when we first said I do. This stuff works people : )
@DannaCat
@DannaCat 8 лет назад
I was so guilty in my past relationships of saying "Oh it's fine" or "Nevermind, let's forget about it" when I actually expected sincere apologies. Which was bad, because in turn it probably made it seem like I didn't really mind the behaviour (or what have you) that was going on... and so it continued. For me, part of learning to say sorry and accept apologies was linked to being unapologetic in what I believed in and what I wanted. I think a lot of females stick around for too long, because they're afraid to be single and to be alone. They're afraid to ask for apologies and to ask for what they really desire. I'm so thankful for my time God has given to me to be single because I get to watch and listen to you guys! Thank you! And blessings from Canada :)
@MariahKay
@MariahKay 8 лет назад
I think this is so important!! It's crucial to admit when we are wrong and not let pride or our ego get in the way of that. Saying sorry and also forgiving others in a genuine way is so important!!
@themillennialhomemaker5994
@themillennialhomemaker5994 8 лет назад
I tell this to people in young relationships all the time ! Keep God first and ALWAYS say im sorry and everything will work out! Yall are awesome! xoxo Texas.
@MiaMomma123
@MiaMomma123 8 лет назад
OMG The one thing I love about watching your videos is how you can see the pure love when the other person is talking... its beautiful :) thanks so much for sharing.
@faithchristina3688
@faithchristina3688 8 лет назад
I absolutely love you two...so. much! You blow me away with how you let God work in your marriage and how you let Him use your marriage to minister to others who may be struggling. You're all about Biblical encouragement for all people of all ages in all walks of life. This was such an incredible message and I hope to remember this when I enter a healthy, Godly relationship with my future husband!
@danitajackson4850
@danitajackson4850 7 лет назад
"Thank You" are two other great words. Showing immense gratitude whenever possible goes a long way with the other human whom you are sharing a life experience with. :)
@FarAwayDistance
@FarAwayDistance 8 лет назад
Thank you so much you guys!!! Love your relationship videos so much!
@twebasenoi
@twebasenoi 8 лет назад
I watch your videos and i love them too! :)
@JeffersonBethkepage
@JeffersonBethkepage 8 лет назад
thanks so much! means a ton!!
@PoetTheXtra
@PoetTheXtra 8 лет назад
I love that they explain how important it is to be sincere we apologize in our relationship. This takes time and practice, but each party has to be willing to try. 😊😆
@sarabenton620
@sarabenton620 8 лет назад
As a very young & recently married couple, I'd like to say how true everything you guys said was! It's a great reminder & also a way of life so thank you both for taking the time to make these encouraging videos :) Y'all are truly blessings to many of us couples!
@Luceiax3
@Luceiax3 8 лет назад
While watching the video at one point i thought about how hard it is to believe you two even have many things to apologize for. You guys seem to have a perfect relationship (probably because you do apologize and forgive lol), even though i know there's no such thing. You are a huge inspiration to me! Your couple videos as THE BEST!
@johnwongkimsiong3807
@johnwongkimsiong3807 8 лет назад
Man, you just uploaded this last week, and this month my church is having family month, where we will be taught from the book "keep your love on" (kylo) by Danny Silk. This month is all about friends and family and just earlier, I found myself having to apologize to a brother for ranting at him and not resolving an issue privately and in peace because I was having a bad day... Your videos have always been so in season for me the past few years that I think it's prophetic that I met your channel when you just started. Thanks for bringing such quality teachings to this community.
@Celeste8808
@Celeste8808 8 лет назад
Totally agree with Alysee about I'm sorry. My husband I try to practice that. We also believe that when we have kids we don't want to make them say I'm sorry when they get to certain age. The logic behind it is you don't want them to believe that saying sorry fixes everything. You want them to say sorry & mean it & improve their actions to fix the reason why you are sorry. We also don't believe in making kids say I forgive you. B/c saying I forgive you means nothing if they don't mean it in their heart. It is kind of void if he/she still has anger in their heart
@jazzypanduh
@jazzypanduh 8 лет назад
You are your husband are wise!!
@jazzypanduh
@jazzypanduh 8 лет назад
+Jazmine Vega and*
@ChristineMAbrell
@ChristineMAbrell 8 лет назад
Man I wish my adult figures had known this
@KristinWitcher
@KristinWitcher 8 лет назад
You two should take the 5 languages (or ways) to apologize test! I'm pretty sure the man who wrote the 5 Love Languages wrote it! He talks about how some people need to hear "I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?" Others need to hear "I'm sorry." Others need to hear "I'm sorry for [whatever they did wrong]" and then two other ways that I don't remember. Alyssa said "I'm sorry falls flat." I agree and I never knew why until I took the test. It helped me realize why some apologies are hard for me to receive!
@entrenchpodhost
@entrenchpodhost 8 лет назад
I would love if you took the time to cover opposite sex friendships sometime!
@ThatFlyGuy353
@ThatFlyGuy353 8 лет назад
Thank you both so much. I'm in a crazy transition into college right now. It's kinda driving me crazy and I'm often hurting my girlfriend without realizing it. I'm so stubborn in thinking I'm less wrong. This awakened me. Thank you so much Jeff and Alyssa
@KyleHansen93
@KyleHansen93 8 лет назад
So good guys! It's not just about forgive and forget, but it's also about being real with people.
@RaviAnandVeludandiTM
@RaviAnandVeludandiTM 8 лет назад
in India we call people like u as "matching-matching" 😇 always love u, God bless!
@mikefanelli6017
@mikefanelli6017 8 лет назад
Next time i get into a relationship i hope i have a apology/forgiving heart, that has meaning, not flat like Alyssa was saying. Great vid guys alot of ppl currently in a relationship definitely needed to hear this
@nynkeelina
@nynkeelina 8 лет назад
This was such an inspiring and clear video. I love how you two compliment each other in your speech. I especially loved what Alyssa said: "It's about winning the person, not the argument."
@DanielOliveira-cs6be
@DanielOliveira-cs6be 8 лет назад
Jefferson and Alyssa, Both of you inspire so many young individuals to live Godly, authentic lives. I am really grateful and thankful for the sincerity with which you both tackle deep issues in our society. I've noticed that small things such as what was talked about in this video really do make a difference, and sometimes we live in a society that does not teach us how to be the best we can be with humility and respect. God bless you both, as well as your children Daniel
@fiveminutesandus
@fiveminutesandus 8 лет назад
It's about winning the person not the argument... loved that!
@Finalsuspect1468
@Finalsuspect1468 8 лет назад
my girlfriend and I just had a very similar discussion. she was raised in a home huge on actually saying "I forgive you" where I wasn't necessarily. it's been a huge help already!
@sandersrobinson3960
@sandersrobinson3960 8 лет назад
Thank you both so much for making this video. My wife and I are dealing with " I'm sorry's". Such a blessing!
@mandypayasa338
@mandypayasa338 8 лет назад
My husband and I recently got married. We are figuring out everything that you're talking about. Love the relationship videos with your wife!
@kiraknott1659
@kiraknott1659 8 лет назад
THANK YOU for this. This is so helpful for couples looking to improve their communication and cut down the amount of time spent arguing! Thanks Jeff and Alyssa!
@ther1ny
@ther1ny 8 лет назад
love when alyssa talks! especially that bit of not saying "it's okay." I always do that and it's not! anyway. love yall. God bless
@lrcory
@lrcory 8 лет назад
I love how you guys have fun together! and I love how she gazes upon you with love and respect as you speak. thanks for sharing with the world lessons you have learned through your relationship.
@justinjaniceful
@justinjaniceful 8 лет назад
thank you both so much! finally i found someone that actually said it 😊 and i can record it! i first heard about all the "how to apologies" from my Pastor, but thank you for reminding me! peace ✌-from Jakarta, Indonesia- p.s please keep making videos like this 😊
@piarossi4555
@piarossi4555 7 лет назад
They are so blessed to have each other.
@Jayell42
@Jayell42 8 лет назад
This is such a great topic! Often times, we wait for the other person to apologize first. But I like what you guys said.. most likely both people were wrong in some way. So good!! Definitely will be sharing this! Thanks Jeff and Alyssa!
@caledoniatardivo8537
@caledoniatardivo8537 7 лет назад
Thanks for preaching messages on the beauty of Christ and God! Much appreciated! :)
8 лет назад
I'm get a new job and we was learning about apologies and how importatnt it is in biznis. But now I see that apologize is importatnt aslo in relationships! Thank you so much :) ♥
@CoryBreann
@CoryBreann 8 лет назад
Your relationship videos are the best!
@KaylaSiefferman
@KaylaSiefferman 8 лет назад
I love when you guys make these videos!!! Thank you for posting this!
@e.vandeven8569
@e.vandeven8569 8 лет назад
These videos are so amazing! As a young woman going into marriage, these topics just solidify my knowledge 👌🏼💕
@cherryblossum1100
@cherryblossum1100 8 лет назад
I agree with most of the things in this video. However, I'm not sure about the asking forgiveness part. If someone really hurt me, and then came to apologize, I would be glad they admitted what they did was hurtful, and are sorry for it. However, I need time to heal before I forgive, and if they ask forgiveness immediately like that, it would be like pouring salt on an open wound.
@Mjrdoglover
@Mjrdoglover 8 лет назад
This was a big problem in my previous relationship! Now in a very happy, healthy relationship. Very valuable lessons. Thank you for the time and effort you put into making these videos :)
@echakamonjok
@echakamonjok 7 лет назад
I love this! No one is perfect. We have to say I'm sorry when we mess up.
@JeffersonBethkepage
@JeffersonBethkepage 8 лет назад
Love the feedback so far guys!!! Glad we aren't the only ones who feel this way! :D PS for those asking about link to the EPIC sponsor I mention at the end, here it is! If you still got college to do, don't sleep on them!!! www.getunbound.org/jeff
@pepeljuganova4968
@pepeljuganova4968 8 лет назад
This is just for colleges in the U.S., right?
@JeffersonBethkepage
@JeffersonBethkepage 8 лет назад
+pepeljuga nova that's a great question to ask them! 🙌🏻 if you fill out the form on site they get back to you right away! The best
@CarolinaCastroParra
@CarolinaCastroParra 8 лет назад
I'm tutoring a home schooled kid and despite the love between him and him mom, (dad absent), I constantly see this conflicting dynamics in their relationship and part of it sometimes it has to do with being the one who is right so this makes me wonder.. what if the relationship is mom-son instead of a couple?
@pepeljuganova4968
@pepeljuganova4968 8 лет назад
***** Oh, okay, lol, I will, thanks! Carolina Castro Parra I think they talk about relationships between two people in general. Although they do use a couple as an example, I think this method (so to call) can be used and applied in any relationship that one has with someone, including with God. The way they talk about asking for forgiveness remindes me of the holy sacramental confession. Even in the Our Father prayer, the prayer that Jesus Himself taught us, it goes like this: "(...) and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us (...)", which shows how much valuable is forgiveness on a spiritual level, and in order for that to be accomplished, in order for forgiveness to take place, us humans have to ask for it. Sincerely. In my opinion, Jesus taught forgiveness (beside the love) is the basis of any relationship, because after the original sin there was no and will not be a relationship between two humans who during that relationship absolutely never sin against each other. Crush your pride, trust in God, do everything you can in your power, and then sit back and watch Him doing miracles! *hope that was helpful and it was wasy to understand my message*
@nummy3950
@nummy3950 8 лет назад
whats your thoughts on mormons
@emadoingthings3131
@emadoingthings3131 8 лет назад
You are so inspiring guys.. Thank you for this service you give through RU-vid and social networks.. God bless you deeply. I am Italian and your testimony has arrived in my life. You have a powerful way of communicating.. Thank you and never stop doing what you are doing. :) I have ordered yesterday your new book for me and my boyfriend. I already know it will be amazing and powerful and life-giving and useful.
@MyVlogTherapy
@MyVlogTherapy 8 лет назад
Good for you.. this is a great topic! Talking about conflict- resolution, a humble heart and apologizing is so needed. But thanks for breaking it down for peeps, not just generals. 👌🙌
@averyhan6587
@averyhan6587 8 лет назад
Love seeing my girl Alyssa 💗 Love seeing y'all speak truth!
@lucyyoung77777
@lucyyoung77777 8 лет назад
VERY, NICE HONEST YOU BOTH MAKE SENCE. BRAVO
@Abcdefghjk100
@Abcdefghjk100 8 лет назад
Love this! Great insight and this is so true, saying I'm sorry is powerful in any relationship 😊
@dagman85
@dagman85 8 лет назад
Wow, 1050 likes, 1 dislike -- that may be the best like-to-dislike ratio I've ever seen on a RU-vid video. And this is some great content, so it makes sense! Thanks for sharing this with us, both of you. I think you have some solid wisdom in here, and it confirms something that was eating at me recently, when I apologized to someone last week without asking them to forgive me. I was specific in the apology, but I didn't ask for forgiveness, even as I was having a mental battle over whether or not it made sense to do so while talking to them. Hopefully next time around I will make a better choice!
@kristeena8109
@kristeena8109 8 лет назад
This is so wonderful. I feel like people are so relationally stupid right now... and no one is teaching like this. Thank you so much for posting this, these videos are helping my marriage!
@cjames22dox
@cjames22dox 8 лет назад
3:05 I totally feel that especially in my line of work I need to be harshly critical where I may(do) come off as mean but afterwards most times I will go to that person and apologize for the harsh way I spoke to them, but try to make them understand where my harshness had come and why I had to be that way and say it the way I had.
@piarossi4555
@piarossi4555 7 лет назад
Christopher Doxtator Being a jerk is never necessary.
@cookieabreu123
@cookieabreu123 8 лет назад
Thank you so much for this Jeff & Alyssa! You guys and your channel is such a blessing! God bless you two always! ❤
@edots53
@edots53 8 лет назад
Loved this! Useful for everyone. Not just romantic relationships
@jennywangler3384
@jennywangler3384 8 лет назад
I just wanted to say thank you to both of you for your advice ! All of your videos are helpful and I'm glad I stumbled upon your channel ! Helps me grow personally but also in my relationship !!! You are awesome !
@silviasbarbati5332
@silviasbarbati5332 8 лет назад
I'm learning so much watching your videos! And also, my English is getting better and better 😂👍🏻 Thanks guys, hugs from Italy!
@67Bigsby
@67Bigsby 8 лет назад
This is a very useful relationship tool... Thank you for all the great content over the years!!!
@Kelly.Patricia
@Kelly.Patricia 8 лет назад
I love this! Thank you both for being open and honest! Love how genuine you guys are. May God bless your family abundantly!☺️❤️
@JeffersonBethkepage
@JeffersonBethkepage 8 лет назад
this means so much kelly!!!
@catherinelee5474
@catherinelee5474 8 лет назад
The both of you did a great job with all the points that you made regarding asking for repentance! I think it is also important to know that these rules are not only for romantic relationships this can be used in friendships also! One other point, I think fully to get reconciled when asking for forgiveness it is important for the person apologizing to ask how they can be a better friend/partner next time. I think there is power in the person who is apologizing to humble themselves and ask what they can do on their side to be a better friend/partner because it shows that they truly want to serve and respect you as a friend or partner... If that makes sense haha
@bfmum7651
@bfmum7651 8 лет назад
But you both are so inspiring and are great tutors for people who really care about having a healthy relationship. Thanks
@Courterfly
@Courterfly 8 лет назад
Love you guys! My husband and I have been listening to your old podcasts!
@mindofiris
@mindofiris 8 лет назад
apologizing well is so important! Also miss the vlogs! 😊
@karik5610
@karik5610 8 лет назад
Hey Jeff! Thanks for this video. I'm currently single, but this is something that I totally need to work on, because I think learning how to apologize is important for all relationships. Hopefully implementing these truths in my life now will better prepare me if/when I do get married. Anyways, thanks again for another really applicable teaching video!!
@carinamaren7779
@carinamaren7779 7 лет назад
This video is so sweet and the advice is precious! Thank you! I was wondering if you guys have any points at which you can tell a relationship is actually healthy and at which point a relationship is actually unhealthy and can't be/shouldn't be fixed?
@RozFrankie
@RozFrankie 7 лет назад
This is such great advice for life in general!
@megangarcia9013
@megangarcia9013 8 лет назад
How hilarious is is that I had to turn off my restricted filter to watch this. Haha.
@megangarcia9013
@megangarcia9013 8 лет назад
I thought so too!! Without reading into it too much- just assuming someone tagged the video to be silly.. Such a great video with great content!
@JeffersonBethkepage
@JeffersonBethkepage 8 лет назад
+Megan Garcia ha! That's strange.
@theaustins8088
@theaustins8088 8 лет назад
can you guys do a video about healthy boundaries with mother/father in laws?! i'd love that :)
@vlael2387
@vlael2387 8 лет назад
I love your advice always. I love it when you guys do videos together. Thank you and have a great day! 😊
@nataliez3484
@nataliez3484 8 лет назад
Great video! Really specific, concise and helpful. Thanks for sharing!
@s731s
@s731s 8 лет назад
thank you so much ! as a newly Wed I am a true testament of how important this is!!! 💖this short but powerful video brought me to tears as I confessed a silent prayer of repentance for my pride and unforgiving spirit🙏🙈 t.h.a.n.k. y.o.u. both 👏 (and geez why are we women more prone to holding onto grudges than men, or is that just for me and my hubby lol)
@sabrinacoleox
@sabrinacoleox 8 лет назад
This is such a good video ! So much truth, and such a practical way to approach forgiveness- great job !
@chewy2217
@chewy2217 8 лет назад
I love you guys!!! Thank God for your wisdom on relationships. ❤️
@fiveminutesandus
@fiveminutesandus 8 лет назад
Great video! Thanks for sharing! Couples need to work on their relationship daily! Great job sharing wise words! 👌🏼
@sophiespencer4691
@sophiespencer4691 8 лет назад
I love this video! You two have such an inspiring relationship and the advice really hits home!
@Nerdfeliz
@Nerdfeliz 8 лет назад
Great advice! It is not an easy thing to do, but essential.
@georgiafremon7761
@georgiafremon7761 6 лет назад
Thank you so much for your words of advice they inspire me to do better by my partner through looking to The Lord before all else. Thank you!
@karengrunberg120
@karengrunberg120 8 лет назад
Sam from Sam & Nia mentioned your channel in his vlog from 9/10. Glad he did because I am liking your vlogs. Thank you!
@karengrunberg120
@karengrunberg120 8 лет назад
I apologize more in our relationship. My husband thinks he apologizes a lot of times when he accepts my apology but he is more thinking it by mistake. He had a double stroke 4 yrs ago so with his tbi he does not realize he is not apologizing most times, I think. Unfortunately with our boys, the strokes have changed him so much that they do not get along much. Hoping we can change (FIX) that.
@DavidRomero-gh6dm
@DavidRomero-gh6dm 8 лет назад
awesome iam so gona say iam sorry to my girl. and thanks. for posting. this jeff and Allyson has really help me . God bless u
@heathermullinax3503
@heathermullinax3503 8 лет назад
This is so good. Thankyou for this. It's a very timely message for me.
@AshtonSWilson
@AshtonSWilson 8 лет назад
God bless
@aprilm4627
@aprilm4627 7 лет назад
O my I found your videos at the most right time. Awesome relationship advice.
@xxGHSxStudentxx
@xxGHSxStudentxx 7 лет назад
Just found this channel. Great advice! I'm not in a relationship but I don't believe I can be "too prepared." lol anyway just wanted to say hello before I watch some of the other videos haha :)
@roccarorandomness4449
@roccarorandomness4449 8 лет назад
Thank you so much! Very helpful for my marriage.
@Fannie6191
@Fannie6191 8 лет назад
I love your videos! It's always great advice that I can relate to in my marriage. God bless!
@juanita5656
@juanita5656 8 лет назад
Love this! Still learning, coming up on 5 years in September 😊. P.S. Enjoying the 31days books!!
@AshtonSWilson
@AshtonSWilson 8 лет назад
God bless!
@jessaggy5553
@jessaggy5553 8 лет назад
this is soo timely! i really found this helpful!
@TheBubblykat
@TheBubblykat 8 лет назад
Love this! So helpful and makes a lot of sense!
@david00oriakhi
@david00oriakhi 8 лет назад
thanks JEFFERSON!!!! God bless you man the way Alyssa looks at you the whole of the video tho 😂
@adamboehmer2877
@adamboehmer2877 8 лет назад
Y'all are legends
@sarahnagel2123
@sarahnagel2123 8 лет назад
I love this video! So true with all relationships.
@lindsaykennedy5038
@lindsaykennedy5038 8 лет назад
What are your thoughts on the importance of the local church? I don't think I've ever heard you guys touch on the subject. Currently reading it's not what you think, it is so encouraging and enlightening! Thank you for sharing and letting God work through you :)
@LindseyDara
@LindseyDara 7 лет назад
Y'all are a match made in heaven
@nathaliesoto8599
@nathaliesoto8599 8 лет назад
Could you guys talk about dating someone who has a child? I love the videos you and Alyssa do its just too inspiring to me
@jonathanread9732
@jonathanread9732 8 лет назад
I love this video!! Thanks guys for the authenticity and insight :)
@anorexicobesechild
@anorexicobesechild 8 лет назад
I really needed this. I really appreciate it.
@pepeljuganova4968
@pepeljuganova4968 8 лет назад
Can you make a video talking about how to forgive someone who doesn't ask for your forgiveness? How to do that when someone isn't even sorry for what he/she did (or at least doesn't admit it)?
@jamelroberson7691
@jamelroberson7691 7 лет назад
Thank you guys for sharing wisdom ❤
@MJeanzy
@MJeanzy 8 лет назад
Loved this!
@herroyalstylenessa1307
@herroyalstylenessa1307 8 лет назад
Loved this! So helpful, thank you guys! x
@GroudFrank
@GroudFrank 6 лет назад
Amazing video! Basically, everything said here can is condensed by 1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 7.
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