This is the Worst Military Couple - all the Stereotypes 

Well shit sounds like justice was served all around

What was he expecting?

@Uncle Crispy Hes a murderer

@@davecrupel2817 exactly

Very uplifting story

Would you recommend using ICBMs to silence noisy neighbours?

Gotta keep your guard up, Sarge.lol

Holy Shi....nternal blockages

NOOOOO

Peach pit was a test run.

I came here looking for this comment. Thank you random citizen.

@@bobfarr8822 on behalf of random citizens we welcome you to tickled your funny bone with this joke all you want

@Who Cares? you dont care? I dont care too! It's the only thing I truly understand I know is all this shit in life is means absolutely nothing :')

I am the 609th like

It’s funny because she’s both of them lmao

It’s their culture

Excluding space force because they're not getting laid

@@megamatiman4855 They get first dibs on the Asari smh

As a former sailor, I can say this: I honestly don't know how the clap is not a pandemic because the super-carriers literally have fleets of ships all over the globe.

haha seamen

True Story, 1990s; Fort Lee PX, I was going by the 📺 area & a guy with his dependa wife looked at me 🥺 & said, quietly "don't ever get married". ✔

Correct

You actually checked the directions, didn't you, ya clever bastard!😂

It's a code!

@@popitrekker1543 ac is cia confirmed

😂😂

Lol

It's oorah

He also said rodger to the judge

Hooah for the Army of 1, Roger?

Hooah

That’s discipline

Amen brother.

Navy has these safety briefs, too. “Don’t go to strip club.... the women there drug and rape sailors for that tricare.”

Oh, do I remember those safety briefs...especially 'long weekend' briefs (72's and 96's)..."remember your condoms", "crabs can easily flank your condoms...know the signs", NEVER get drunk alone!, NEVER think 2 or more 'ladies' are approaching your onion heads because 'you're that cute'...there is a war plan against you...if you haven't known her for at least a month...GIVE IT TIME, she'll own you soon enough, don't get in a rush!...and my favorite...if she says the word 'love', and looks like a hooker...she's not referring to LOVING YOU in ANY WAY! (it's all those base benefits, pay, and your deployment she actually loves).

@@tmfo125 AMEN! I LOVED K-Bay (Marines) and Pearl...the risks were SO MUCH MORE VARIED than at Camp Lejeune or Pendleton...I mean, we had the standard 'base wife' syndrome...but we also had various terrorist groups operating (using hookers to 'get you back to their place'), we had tons of Asian diseases, lots of Somoan 'back-alley' pimp beat-downs (ever been drove over by a herd of bison?), and the LOVELY 'Filipino Curse' (you marry them...they want a green card...you help them out, come home from work one day, and find 14 of her 'closest family' in your apartment...sleeping, eating you out of house-and-home, done broke your stuff, wearing your clothes...and wanting you to SPONSOR MORE OF THEIR FAMILY!!!)...sure..those little girls are pretty...but it's kinda like adopting AFRICAN KILLER BEES!!! THEY ARE going to swarm, and they ARE going to TAKE YOU OUT!!!

@@skeetersaurus6249 that Filipino curse tho 😳😳

Underrated comment 👍

Hooah

Just remember what my grandfather (a San Diego DI in the 1950s) said: "Men. Loose lips sink ships. That applies to both sailors and strippers."

I’m the 500th like

A buddy of mine that worked in supply back in 2005 said there was actually an NSN for spouse/wife/whatever. To this very day, I'm still not sure he was fucking with me or not, lol

Buuurrrrnnnnn!! 🔥😂

@michael arambula sure thing hoss

@michael arambula see you in 3 months with the divorce papers

We’ve been together over 17 years and still going strong, raising an awesome kid. We are our first and last. We aren’t married.

Military members like us do not think things through very well

That's pretty fucked up.

I mean... at least it wasn't his baby. So he kinda dodged a bullet.

The country bent him over, now the court will.

Well. Gawd dayumn.

Wow, I knew enlisted MPs who got married, got on post 🏘 then turned it into a big party 🥳 house.

Double plot twist: You're the mom.

Even bigger plot twist: Your the grandma

@@kyle4246 Fair enough.

@@trublgrl HUGE plot twist: You're the baby

i was that baby

Thats how they pull you in.

The thing is, he’s supposed to be at work and told his sergeant that he had a dental appointment.

He's just a teenage dirtbag, *baby*

I get the vibe that he was an E4 recently and is now an E1. Not the first time either.

Professionals have standards

Ive been smoking for 15 years, took me a long time to be able to do that. Its a lot harder when the thing is lit but still, AC got skill

I love the "hacked" part. You know damn well her password is one of the kids names. Super elite information warfare right there.

Pretty sure she's posting publicly in case any thirsty privates are looking for a drink. Thots want attention and money more than anything

Sounded like she meant Facebook messages

@@colinklang they belong to the streets.

Messages and private groups derp

I'd marry Misses Right Hand. Ain't much to look at, but gets things done!

Yea you just need to come up with a woman who's okay with a civil arrangement. Have the prenup set up from the get go.

Less duty yeah right.lol the bah you may never see it.

@ I would definitely buy a Mustang, but it definitely won't be new.

Seems to me this requires some revaluation.

DBP isn't new.

you think that's the end? the ACCU isn't even halfway through

Operator Sam

Dirtbag private was around for a while before bro-vet

Damn doing Operator Sam dirty

@Viktormandus Rhaefnhyrst Whoah, massive, unwarranted, escalation!

@UCAxve5amKMIROZasHwz6PLw YOU LOOK AT IT LOOK AT IT *LOOK AT IT*

I hope/think it's a fake tv show

@Viktormandus Rhaefnhyrst And that attitude and thinking will undoubtedly breed a generation of untrusting males regardless of how much you think they could be manipulated. Might i add, that predatory relationships dynamics like the one u described, aswell as just fucking stealing from other people careers and lives, both TIME and Money, are just classic motives for 1st degree murder. While we are escalating things, ill just add that i know far too many dumbasses in the military who would genuinely just start plotting to pop the glock if someone ever just came after their hard-earned paycheck from uncle sam.

@@gagemullis313 About as real as Judge Judy

That cracked me up, too. I remember what it was like to be twenty-something. Now that I'm in my 50s, I can laugh at pretentious youngsters for being legends in their own minds. 🤣

I think its DPB who gets down like that. I feel like AC or ADSGT is more.... assertive and disciplined.

@Logan Titus lol you replaced what was making her happy.

^^^^^^^98 you a wee bit low

Yup. This generation of girls are no more responsible than a fox in a chicken coup. They go out of their way to destroy people's lives. People forget how they destroy the kid's lives, when they cheat. Then the courts favor them, and the kids grow up damaged, to repeat the process. Our society is very ill.

"I don't need no teenage queen, I just want my M16!"

@Logan Titus that and maybe the ups man 😅

Me too. He is funny.

Lol, he was being subtle about liking women with huge tracks of land. It cracks me up when men who are into bewbs try to be sensitive about it 🤣

Army is the only one with soldiers.

@@alexbarry689 all new Enlistees/Trainees/Poolees. Feel better now Hero? 🙄

I second this motion.

They could definitely shave a few minutes out of SHARP, Suicide Prevention, Finance, and medical briefs and combine them together to show this.

YES!!!!

Derrick liked the cheating chick to the point where he got to lick. Started with d and ended with ick

He was saying that as I was reading this comment.

My name

Dropkick.

We are all whores in one way or another.

@@beareble-lion4446 "You sellin' your body for money; PORTER."

Hey there fellow hobo

@@hobo_warrior7777 hello and happy belated Thanksgiving

@@practicalhobo9168 Or, Merry Halloween, if you're Joe Biden.

@@671homey lol

@@671homey reminds me when in 1775 that the Continental Army took the airports and had a sweet sweet victory at Fort McHenry

SAME!!! I’ve never laughed so hard in my life

Private potato gets me

Well it IS lying on its side.....

They all do. Something about catholic schools.....🧐

It’s marketing

@Reverend Ape ya got a point there......

@Reverend Ape as I know the context there. He was told to have a child he refused and when his sperm fell on the floor he killed him. He was supposed to have a child.

So, everybody are hackers nowadays, or facebook has the worst security systen ever.

@Impaleification Especially when they leave it on a sticky or some shit like that

@Venom Yeah or the Chrome cookies-password thing

Pretty sure if you're married then you should already have your spouses password but have enough trust to never need it.

Was a e-5...when I got my bad chicken dinner...private it was...thats what I imagine.

Well damn.

Ride wife Life good

And if you play long enough youll find a joker in there 🤷🏽‍♂️

@@BboyTurok1990 "Well goddamn" 😉 1:57

🤣🤣🤣🤣

How many broke one or both of those rules

@@Trainer_Ruffles Not sure, I only just graduated.

@@Trainer_Ruffles and if you're going to break one, buy the damn car.

@@tommcd8471 Yup. Pay your bills and that can only bleed you for a couple years.

@@tommcd8471 2001 Cobra at the low low interest rate of...Totally WORTH every inch that dealer raped me with.

I died when I heard that lmao 😂

gold...

Facts

Its the Stash! It has magical powers.

I bet that cigarette was stuck to his lip when the camera went off, probably pulled a little skin off that lip haha, I've had that shit happen to me, and it hurts..

It was good business for us Filipinos though. Lol

Buddy of mine married a Filipina girl who already had a kid. Then she talked him into adopting the kid, and I was like, "why would she want you to do that"? They get to the states and she divorces him, takes his Corvette and takes half his pay by forcing him to pay child support. Court agrees due to the fact that he adopted the kid, and dude has to pay for the next 15 years because the kid was only three when they divorced.

If he did, he will always be near a change machine. 😂

A coworker of mine is an exmarine and mentions his filipino wife and I couldn't help but laugh at that everytime knowing how that happened

@@dallindunn1186 I was going to include a sailor/Marine.

It's from being in the military for over a decade!

Just because he's slow don't mean he's stupid.

that's how you shovel the shit most effectively

Lol, dirtbag privates can randomly come in very handy. They can save the day with duct tape, 550 cord, a frag and an idea that they aren't sure will work.

Can't be an artful dodger if you don't know the art.

I recognize those words, but I have no fucking idea what is being said here.

What in the world were you trying to say in this lol

Ma'am, you mean "our" and not "her", right?

Great team work. Good to hear, you two hit the lottery! Congrats.

Roger that. 🤣👍

NO SIR

Why?

Was waiting for wilco

Roger, roger

How long?

Nothing like an 80's porn stache

It adds a shit ton of credibility to everything he says.

It's out of regulation. Shitbag private needs to shave it at the corners of the mouth and trim it back so it doesn't cover the upper lip.

@@MaynardCrow Well, he ain't named "poster boy private" now is he? A good dirtbag private is supposed to be a turd military wise, but still be liked by everyone E-3 and below.

@@MaynardCrow goddamn GROOMIN STANDARDS

That way it's harder to pin all the shams to him. Private here's being a dirtbag all the way.

@@VladimirDemetrovIlyushin its a 4D sham

@@colewalton1340 perhaps an Inception sham?

Sham on men, sham on

You are confusing the marine hoooAh with the army hoo uh Different pronunciation

@@quest4adventure495 the Marines don't hooah... why are you trying to correct me when you have no idea what you're talking about?...

@@quest4adventure495 Wrong. It's Oorah. Sounds similar to the Russians war cry which is Ura.

Omg that's horrible 😱

At least she could have left him an unopened bottle. Some people have no class.

@@oz_jones I KNOW RIGHT?! I mean shit, at least leave me a bottle of Jim or something .....lol

​@@chrislaws4785 He literally went crazy? Like lost his mind? That is so sad. No woman (or man!) is worth losing your mind over.

​@Madison Lopez Yeah, unfortunately, this happens more often than you think. The military attracts a lot of toxic people. Most marriages in the army end in divorce.

Loled

The "Roger" was worse

He didn't hoooah. It was a surprised sound that the judge understood where he was coming from.

@@aa1bb2cc3dd4 I was gonna say that. If it was, it's the worst one I'd ever heard lol

1. She was hooah. 2. She hit me.

You’d think she’d be a bit mature then I mean this woman so loose, as a mom you’d set a good example though.

@@museme6309 Unfortunately, age & maturity do not go hand in hand.

Honestly I went out with some older women when I was in the military. Pretty dope TBH. 2 were strippers and paid for stuff for me.

If a Facebook rant is the worst thing that happened he got off lucky

I thought that was the standard for all branches. That shit ain't cheap, and there is no shortage of excuses to smoke em.

The Army makes up a huge amount of the Newport customer base.

@Cosmic Crybaby taking care of soilders, if u know what I mean.

Damn ok didn’t see that one coming

LOL

That’s exactly what got me. Lol.

A classic

She even had on the same clothes

Or he bought the ring the PX by maxing out his AAFES Star Card.

😂

Dipstick? 😉😂

Don’t lick?

Dominick

Do The Flick?

Dyslexic...k

You have one in your wallet and people laugh at you because you get no sex

That, and the person who replied… yeah. Perfect explanation that anyone can understand

She’s shaped like a Iron board

Or her military man with the cool name has little PP. :(

@@OriginalGlorfindel it’s not about the size, it’s where you put it

@@themanwithallthewrongopini3551 lol lol

I mean you can’t strip while your pregnant right? 🤷‍♂️ Wait or can you? 🤔

@@jeffsanders1609 *Vsauce intensifies*

@@jeffsanders1609 yes you can it’s just unattractive or what’s to stop her from having sex for money also, i mean can’t control other peoples actions.

@@museme6309 There are People Who are into that shit.

@@museme6309 You look like you can't control a wet dream chief.