Why My Girlfriend And I Broke Up 

Tom Windsor 😂😂

Tom Windsor just give her time

DO IT! What are you waiting for?!

Justice of Velka lmao are u forreal

(´･ω･`)

Likewise, but it's certainly good stuff to think about in preparation for a relationship

same ikr

everyone is so wise before actually dating someone

For your future💕 and also, you can apply these ideas to your non romantic relationships ! 😊💕

Because you’re interested

What purpose?

@@anuragsosa God

@@pietdeboer88 Anything else

Jiminipple, that's deep...

Well, a lot of the time it's not so cut and dry. Some men cheat and still stay in the relationship. They are making the choice to stay, but not because they respect the relationship. They stay because it's easier than breaking up or they are scared to lose something that was important to them in the past. The one thing that women are scared of is not being enough and that someone is going to choosing someone else. That's why they really want their significant other to make actions from the bottom of their heart. Simply remaining in the relationship doesn't mean the guy loves her. We all have had fake friends and should of cut them out of our lives, but that's sometimes difficult.

Emotionally intelligent (who are balanced and can sense non verbal ques or social subtexts, etc etc,) men who easily initiate what is needed to done is the qualities in a good, stable partner. Men who say "why can't women just say what they want" aren't mature for a relationship. Women can easily say what they want, then what, men just usually don't even do it. Even so, not everyone wants to be so direct. Thats not a fault. They need to have the maturity to be able to sense things, initiative spirit, and good communication skills. Which aren't taught at all these days, because the baby boomer parents are TERRIBLE at those things themselves (most are divorced). If you keep going "women this and women that" and blaming women all the time, it's actually you who needs to step up and develop because you aren't being a compatible person to the opposite gender. (I dont wanna hear "but dem womenz do ____", this comment is male critique.)

Yeah, as a guy I do that too. But it's a very unhealthy way of thinking. Humans aren't that black and white.

I agree it is unhealthy.

Pikapetey Animations so agree..

Never expected to find you here

Pikapetey Animations don't pretend you know how the universe works

its all just math.

Randy Reisig you don't understand the math.

I definitely agree

Hmmm, but noo...I think we Should be able to sense the needs of people surrounding us. Be it a romantic relationship, our parents, children etc. We spend so much time around the closest to us that eventually they will see our ugly side and vice versa. It`s all about handling the situation. When a child comes to me crying I don`t tell her that "I am not your punching bag", if someone is feeling sad for days because they lost their job, I don`t diminish it and just give them a hug and pat on the back #supportjobdone. What he is talking about is our ying and yang energy. We all of course have both-feminine and male energy in our personality yet of course if being in a polarized relationship-we need to balance each other weaknesses. If you have a relationship with someone who is energetic, emotional, has lots of friends etc. and you love that part because it makes the life fun, we also need to accept the downsides-if they are sad they are really Sad etc. If someone is super stable the downside is that they might be boring, passive etc. and to make the romantic life fun-the other person balances it with being the active "firestarter". In the end Stepford wives and husbands only exist on the TV screen. Real life humans are more complex than that which means that we need to pay more attention. It`s called empathy. Realistically you cannot expect the other person always communicate their needs and desires off the bat like a psychological robot.

If only women said what they wanted in the first place lol

When a child comes crying to you, you provide a shoulder for them to cry on. If that child came crying and then kicked you in the shin for no reason other than it made them feel better, would you deem it acceptable? If an adult loses their job, you provide a shoulder for them to cry on and talk them through it. If that adult loses their job, and starts yelling at you out of frustration, is that acceptable? No.

@MaSTAR Media: "If she's snapping at you because she's hungry or because she had an argument with a friend, that's transference, which is wrong." It may be wrong, but it is common in most people. Folks snap, especially woman during the time when their hormones are in flux. It's biological. IMHO, folks need to look at the bigger picture and not lay blame on either. Communication is the key (as you said), but men and women communicate differently. Both sides need to understand that and learn how the other communicate and NOT assume one is correct and the other wrong. Just my opinion.

Wow deep

This is the truest fact.

But that is incorrect. Your opinion is based on outdated theories in psychology. Modern research indicates that attachment and dependency are perfectly healthy ways of humans to express themselves. In fact, this notion that you have to be happy before entering in a relationship can have extremely destructive effects on people's mental health. In other words, it's okay to need to people. There is nothing unhealthy about that, and it's perfectly plausible to have a successful relationship without being "independently happy".

noxteryn i agree with you, but at the same time if one or both people lean on each other too much it’s unhealthy. but needing each other a little bit, i agree, is definitely a good thing

@@wereallpinkinside8452 Still... I think independent and happy is better.

if it doesnt affect your happiness it wasn't love.

Nimity Tei She didn't say "affect" he said "depend", massive difference.

ever, actually

@@Vention1MGTOW well, this is ur opinion and u are entitled to that, i must however agree to disagree with u, majorly because what u are saying are generalisations and populism and such are allways false and have nothing to do with actual reality. I am trully sorry if u have been hurt in Life, and mostly by Woman it seems, and how u live ur Life is of course ur Choice and Responsibility. The Best Advice imho is working on Oneself especially Therapeutically resolving Childhood Isues and Past Traumas, Nr. 1 Reason bc of Self Love, Nr. 2 Reason bc hurt people hurt people.....so starting with oneself is allways Best instead claiming that the entire half of Humans are "generally bad, unfaithfull....etc." Doing so only makes one seem ILLOGICAL, very angry and bitter. Noone KNOWS all Woman on Earth (or Man!) so do urself a Favour and go do some Sports, eat some Soulfood or listen to Great Music or whatever makes u happy AND causes no harm to someone else.....and focus on ur Growth instead wasting ur Time with blameshifting and generalising. The Choice is still urs.

Rachel510126 wow 😮 your wisdom is truly astonishing!!!

hey, good for you man! that's amazing to hear.

I was too late 😔 she just broke up with me. Just when I realized what I needed to work on, she let us go to find herself.

@@joshuamarlaves3211 People change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. It's just an unfortunate situation you're in. But there's another important lesson. People won't wait. At least now you can get out there and really test your confidence.

@@benfielder9637 I guess we were both new to this and weren’t aware that all relationships go through this but some save it soon enough to get back up. Its sad but its the reality. Thanks Ben! Hoping to find the light at the end of this tunnel

@@joshuamarlaves3211 let her go! FOCUS on yourself mate!

The thing he feared came upon him

So thats what was so strange to me about his face , unique , if you like. Thanks, I did not notice it :D hahha

Nah Emilia Clarke is still the Queen of Eyebrows

@@C1Mastermaukka I also think he has a wide mouth.

Both of them. She knows you got her one but she wants both lol

True😜

Never let her touch your food ever, but always take some of her food and show no regard for how she feels about it.

@Kyle Kim DUDE YOU CRACKED OUR CODE

food just taste sooo much better when it's not yours! :P

this

Oh, my God - this. Especially number 3. To quote the lyrics from The Diry of Horace Wimp by ELO: "Horace Wimp, this is your life, go out and find yourself a wife". and "Horace Wimp, this is your wife, go out and find yourself a life. Jeff Lynne had it nailed.

Wow xD

I heard this other version, in which he replied “they are all relative.”

Lmao

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

@@kenneth6102 HAHAHAHA!

This x10

I agree with both parties communicating but I also have to disagree about the masculine and feminine dichotomy. I don't think that it is effective in a relationship to simply ignore these differences, but recognize and respect it as equal but different. If you don't respect the others difference, resentment may develop in the other party even if it's not stated. However, these differences can create problems if both do not choose to work going beyond those differences. For example, if the guy is unable to pick up emotional or body language cues and if that's a masculine trait, then he has to work on that and vice versa with the female verbalizing her true feelings, all in all achieving the goal of communicating but also respecting each other's differences.

+N3GAT0RY Yes, you need a stable ground of honesty and mutuality; a relationship is a co-operation, or the entire Titanic ship is going to sink. Jack, i'll never let you go...(She let go). A relationship is going to be Decpacito like Luis Fonsi says. Patience, slowly.

that's the most overused example of a passive thing that stereotypically a girl says when she's not feeling well but doesn't want to admit it. But really the root cause of it is an unstable relationship. He is just not someone who is good at relationships. But I still watch him a lot because he's good at understanding people, charisma and how to make friends from a theoretical perspective.

N3GAT0RY I think that's was just an example he used for the video. But, you are so right there's only so many of those moment you can put up with, she needs to be upfront and honest if she expects to get what she wants/needs and it's our job to help her get it AFTER she's been honest and mature to explain because after that's what we need as the masculine

😂😂

Then I broke down And she woke down

best comment

Same man

Creative Name agreed. i dont think personalities should be distinguished by genders

Creative Name Why not be a logical dreamer who sometimes gets emotional?

Creative Name agreed 100%. My relationships have always had the opposite dichotomy that he described, but the dichotomy was still there. I'm the spontaneous "don't ever make plans just do" kind of guy, and I've always been drawn to the hold up lets make plans and make sure everything goes right kind of girls. The labeling of masc or femme doesn't bother me too much since I understand what he's saying and I'm secure in my masculinity, but it definitely can be confusing to people that see themselves in the description of their opposite gender. I think dropping those words would be helpful at the very least in giving the ability to express ourselves more clearly

Makes me wonder if relationships work better with Dreamer + Logical or With Dreamer+Dreamer / Logical+Logical...

RNGrino Kripperino Well I definitely do think that you'll have more harmony inside a relationship if it's D+D or L+L, but it's going to be extremely one-sided. One needs both Logic and Dreams and if you go for full Logic or full Dreams, you may get into trouble because of that.

Or more simply expressed, you shouldn't subjugate your individuality in favor of becoming a "joint unit", a we. You basically have to live your life that's only somewhat accommodating of your partner, otherwise you'll lose the *self* that drew your partner to you in the first place.

Lesa Smart This young fella Is feeding of the information of older people so basically it’s “old wisdom” wrapped up in a never-ending carousel of black T-shirts don’t be fooled he got all this information from researching 60-year-old men’s failures And psychiatrists and other “men’s coaches” insight into how a successful relationship works.He’s a short termer because in order to keep up the energy needed to constantly be this way he’s going to make him Have a stroke at 40 years old LOL 😂 “at least his didn’t his girlfriend didn’t break up with him”

Its so fucked up

Pretty shocking

Quantum235 righht?!

The amount of boldness in yours.

It's the internet, not a group therapy

That's really cool, I'm glad this made your relationship better 🌈💕💖

Me too

Me too

I think thats where im headed too mans. Any advice on moving on?

@@joshuamarlaves3211 It's terrible. If you're still in the relationship and you love her, consider telling her y'all should a break of a week or two without talking. That'll give you some time to think about what is best for you. But if it's already over, get yourself a new hobby and spend lots of time with your friends. It will keep your mind off her, you might even consider unfriending on social media. Hope you get through your troubles and that 2021 is a better year for you.

@@MusicByTomas Thanks for this man! She just broke up with me and it has been tough. However our breakup was happy, it was the first time we actually expressed that we love each other genuinely for the past few months. I asked her if the breakup was really necessary and she said she needs to do it or else we’d be stuck in the same cycle. Then I told her I’m not giving up on her and on us and I hope that in her way of finding herself and getting lost in the process, we’d find our way back to each other. I really love her man. I hope we eventually settle our individualities and celebrate them together again, soon. Thanks for being a safe space man. I’ll work on myself for now and meet her once again as my true self.

James read 'men are from mars, women are from venus'. This book will help you a lot!

For the love of God dont take this advice, its horrible. Whenever you find yourself "guessing" what your partners needs are, the problem lies with them, not with you. Women, too, are responsible for their actions and communication. If a girl bitches to you because she's hungry, its a problem. In no way shape or form is getting annoyed by that you fault. This whole video is clear example of the feminization of men in current western civilation. Its sad, really.

disagree. imo; he's clearly stating that in order for the relationship to work you have to stay true to your own masculinity. He basically admitted he weakened himself and became obsessed and boring (beta behaviour) which lead to the breakup

James: I recommend the r/relationships subreddit.

No, please don't take this relationship advice! Women are not to be infantalized like this!

People like him are the ones who will grow out of their own shell. I can see all of his potential mistakes and should he ever end up in a relationship again he will know exactly what to watch out for. Taking the responsibility is very masculine. Blaming her wouldn't really open up a better perspective, instead it leads to stagnation.

The fact he thinks his perspective is masculine is likely itself the wrong premise. "My masculine center", WTF does that even mean? Being so afraid the relationship would end and forcing it to work when it clearly was not defies reason and is not an attitude generally considered masculine. It shows lack of objectivity and too much emotional attachment to face the situation. Even the girlfriend didn't think the three weeks together would solve anything; perhaps she was more masculine. After all, what we generally deem masculine and feminine characteristics is a convention, but both sexes have a set of either traits. This guy, like many others, may not be as masculine as he thinks.

Spetsnaz "Being so afraid the relationship would end and forcing it to work when it clearly was not defies reason and is not an attitude generally considered masculine." Exactly, thus he said that he lost part of his "masculine energy" (or how he calls it in the video, masculine center). It wasn't his normal behavior, he lost himself. That doesn't mean he "may not be as masculine as he thinks"; you need to take into consideration the context to make such a statement. By "masculine center" I'm pretty sure he's naturally more inclined to "masculine energy" than his "femenine energy" (everyone has both); take in mind that most people gravitate towards one and it's really difficult to be perfectly balanced. So it makes sense what he said in the video, if you think about it. I hope you have a nice day/night~

@@louise558 He didn't lose his masculine center as he puts it so nicely, rather the masculine attributes he thought he possessed (because there are social and cultural pressures forcing men and women to behave in certain different ways) were put to the test and failed. He is simply not as masculine as he believes or wishes to portray himself, and this relationship as an experience brought it to light. No one is 100% masculine or feminine; this guy just found his feminine side is more prominent under stress.

I mean, it can certainly be the case. But I do think that he may have been influenced by the femenine energy of his partner throughout the relationship; as he mentioned, he discovered a wider range of emotions that he had until they met. And yes, I know no one is 100% masculine or femenine, as I said in my previous comment.

Woa same dude yet im a girl

And whatever you're thinking currently, relationships are harder than that as well.

Whomever tells you they’re easy is lying

I'm in a 4 year relationship, it's extremely hard

And the crazy thing is that as hard as it is (if it's right) it's also the easiest, most worthwhile, beautiful thing

Yes. .. It seems I don't want. . . Lol

also watch 500 days of summer

Nope, not at all, they'll hear this and it will go in one ear and out the other, until they experience it first-hand like you, he, and I did.

Sarah JaeLynn by being honest. There are dozens of us....dozens!

Sarah JaeLynn I can do this to because I make so many mistakes and try to learn sooo much about it to avoid mistakes

snapperman7 it's hard to meet the other dozens in a planet of billions though. Lol, seriously though, this level of character is sadly rare to find :(

Easy. He's not objective. I agree with some of what he said, and he's definitely coming from a good place (trying to analyze your mistakes and all), but he sure ain't unbiased. Everything sounds smart and objective when you say it to people who trust you.

Olivier Faure The guy in this video is catering to a female audience. He takes all the blame for the failure, talks as if HE should have known better. Never bringing up anything about the ex possibly not being mature enough for a long term relationship with an honest man.

Don't even try, bro. You're a pathetic waste of space and you're going to die alone. Just accept it. You're worthless.

Louis Nylan wtf dude

I like how you tROLLING

If that's really you in the pic Louis, i can see why you're like that.

TheBrownLamb because this is about a break up, people view it as a weakness because they never been in a real relationship and don't think it can happen to them

TheBrownLamb How can you actually be surprised? Its ALWAYS been like this in youtbe comments. People become emboldened by anonymity and will say anything

Most of youtube comments are people who dont have anything better to do. Most people dont even care what the videos talking about... So theyre just arguing something about they dont know about as well. Nor do they even watch the video.

Welcome to the internet.

You have to realize that people of all ages and all kinds of upbringing roam the internet. Also the anonymity of the internet gives people the impression they don't have to be respectful towards others cause the social feedback is less impactful since it comes from anonymous people and it can be completely ignored if desired.

No, concrete. Only Tiny Kittens can break it down.

Caramel

Cum

My favorite comment

Chicken tendies actually

Very good point. It's like practicing assertiveness not just for oneself but also for the partner, to accept emotions as they are, to give them space, instead of forcing them and try to get only desired ones. And as everyone knows: To give emotions their space is the best way to handle them. An ex of mine also mentioned in our break-up time that she had trouble with my depressive phases, without reflecting any possible solutions (even though I was never aggressive or rejecting in these phases) which gave me the feeling of not being good or loveable as I am and that there is no space for parts of my personality. Well, I guess it is better to not continue such a relationship.

Wishing you luck man. I'm in the same boat and its so crazy how doing everything you think you have to to not lose the person you love actually ends up making them leave :P

One partner shouldn’t just be tagging along with the other though, you both need to value each other’s goals and work toward them together

Mr. Svilkic ouu i lov this

She was probably a broken person and looking for an entertaining good time, not a long term committed relationship .

exactly. masculine center schmasculine schmenter, what he lost was his independence.

Thank you so much for this post I've been binge watching this series of videos with great interest for the past several weeks and they have helped in many ways. This particular one lost me. I am having trouble following what the message is and don't want to just chalk it up to entertainment. Perhaps they have already revisited this and I have not come across that installment just yet. As a female, I was trying to understand what being a man or masculinity had to do with this situation. It's a person issue NOT a male/female thing. Thanks so much for the clarity!!!

Exactly people should work on themselves more so as to not strain the relationship and actually have something to give into it not take from it and if both parties do this everyone gives and takes win win equalling healthy relationship, dude might have lost his center or whatever but i think that relationship was too much work for him at one time that he actually got lost into it because he desperately needed it to work considering all the effort he had put into it .

Same here

J J ya of course you are right eventually.

Find yourself before getting in a relationship.

goldenrootsnet can't argue with that. I failed a might-be relationship years ago and I realized that the single reason for failure was simply put that I wasn't truly myself around the person. Be it talking to her and whatnot, I some details of my life because I was afraid she'd think I'm boring. Afterwards I managed to salvage some wisdom from this occurrence and it's my life wisdom actually, that is simply to pursue your true self. Obvious right? Being afraid of other people's opinions made act as if I was someone else and lost myself in the progress. Doing things we love to do and sharing our opinions about the things we are interested in make us attractive to others. And with self-approval make us happy, being what we want to be. And pursuit of happiness is the goal for my life at least.

No.

Learn what makes you truly happy in life and I mean REAL happines, then reevaluate and restructure your life to better reflect that understanding. Don't compromise on your core values, but also don't be afraid to challange them so you can make sure that they are sound.

Well he's still young.

So true!!!!

His charisma was not on command.

Lol, you guys 😂

3TTriple winner lol

haahaha

BRUTAL

+DeathAngleZoe He has balls, balls...how can you do this? She was your girlfriend, wow. She must be so embarrassed, the family, everybody. Great lesson and advice, but man...he's a Super Saiyan now hahaha.

I found this much funnier than I should have.

steijn vanb ?

Mist Holley it's a reference to a meme.

Bruh, I'm deadass horney right now.

I 100% agree. Preach 🙌👏🏻

Its all about how you grew up...Mom and daddy gave no emotional attention??...well your girl is in for a hell of ride with you haha...But you rapped it up perfectly... Enjoy being single...date around...dont get in anything serious until that Emotional connection is there...my mistake was rushing it...lol ex gf was controlling overcrictical monster

Thank you for the great explanation! I was trying to figure out why I was feeling a little weird about the usage of "masculine/feminine" terms to describe a person's center. I recently just broke up with my 2-years bf and I know I have my own faults in it, but the main reason I broke up with him was because I felt like he didn't bring any additional values to my life anymore. He did become very afraid of losing me in the end that, ironically, caused him to lose me. I wish I could hear Charlie's perspective on how I (a girl or the "feminine" partner) made mistakes though, or how I could've done better or helped make this relationship work.

@@rouyingtan8240 because you're a crybaby who thinks benign words like masculine and feminine are offensive

@@jenniboo9441 And you're a crybaby who thinks people who don't like gendered terms are offensive

Boat but it's even more ridiculous to just blame only her...

Boat - He's not blaming himself, he reflected back on his situation and now giving us advice on what he found. Basically he looked back and asked himself what he could have done better to learn from it for the future, rather than just saying it's all my fault (or even worse: it's all her fault). And THIS is the best mindset you can have in life.

He's not blaming himself, he's pointing out what he thinks were his mistakes. He didn't say she didn't commit any, is just that it's pointless to make a video talking about what others did wrong in a relationship. All he can do is help others learn from his flaws

Boat You can only change yourself, you can't change others. So taking responsibility for what you've done and becoming better is the only way to improve and make things better in the future. It's not a thing of blame it's a thing of taking responsibility, saying this is what I did and didn't do and improving from there.

Answer to all of you: I never said he should blame her for every thing, how can some of you really think that that's what I meant? But it sounds to me like he thinks he could have saved the relationship which is not a healthy way to think about it. It is however good to improve yourself and admit your faults. If only one person in the relationship is ready to work hard ot maintain it then there are problems...

Daya Tom or you could have been honest with your ex? Help a guy out every once in a while.

Daya Tom hi 👋 are you Ukrainian? Or Slavic?

Man, wishing the partner be better than he was? Our partners are usually only half of the problem. The other half is us.

@@insertnamehere6609 Projecting much?

@@silentalliance3269 Nope. Bulgarian.