Why Would An Ex Want To Stay In Touch? 

Hi coach I have been a follower of the channel for almost 3 years now and enjoy your vids very much, they are very helpful and informative, thanks to you and margeret i actually won my ex´s heart back 2 years ago, So thank you very much to both of you. I also bought your books back then, and did the work, and have now been together with my ex for 2 years and we are still feeling the love between us. When i say i won her heart back, i actually did it! I went into "no Contact" and we only talked when it was about our kid. i changed my lifestyle totally, i went on long walks and began riding on my bicycle, and lost 30kg, and started eating healthy and have done so ever since. After a few months she called me on the phone and asked if i wanted to come to dinner, i accepted and thought "well atleast i get to see my son" :) I went to her house that same night and had dinner with them, and we talked and laughed and joked around, and had a really nice evening, at the end of the night i shook her hand wished her and my son a good night and went home. A few days later she called again and invited me over for dinner, and the it was just as fun and nice as the first time, when we had finished eating, we was about to do the dishes, and suddently she came up to me and kissed me on the lips, after the kiss we talked about everything that had happened before and after the breakup, and she could really see and feel the changes i have made and she liked what she saw, but she had also done some changes and was still working on herself, and we have never stopped working on ourselfes since. This is all thanks to your books and videos and ofc many of the wonderfull insights from Margaret. THANK YOU! To all that are hurting and going through breakups, Hang in there, and do the work in the books if you got them, and listen to coach and Margaret and Victoria´s advice. I know its hard and it hurts, but i am sure you can get through it, maybe not with your ex, but maybe with a new boy or girlfriend. Best of luck and regards to you all.

Margaret’s nugget of wisdom “you can and will survive without this person”. That’s it. That’s all we need to know. 👑.

Most often times to keep you as a backup plan while they date who they want. Rarely do exes want to be just friends after breaking up unless you are both over it. Which is usually a year to a few years down the line.

They are definitely right, please be wary as they could be stringing you along to gradually wean themselves off of not having you as a partner but getting the perks and benefits of friendship. I advise anyone at least for now to politely decline their offer of friendship and part ways so that you both can heal and it gives your ex the time to miss you so that they have to deal with the consequences of the breakup as they can’t have their cake and eat it. Maybe in time you can be friends if you don’t end up getting back together but I definitely would not suggest it after the breakup Good luck to you all!!

They want their cake and eat it too.

I loved the look Craig gave when Victoria said “you’ll end up the best man at their wedding.”

Margaret, I adore your wisdom.....'and if you dont know what their agenda is, it is okay to ask' .....

Mine never contacted me and she found someone else almost right after the break up. It's been a year and a half now. I did almost all the classic mistakes. Stay strong it gets better in time.

I love your Chanel so much! I learned a lot about relationship ! Thank you so much for all the great videos which is very useful for us !

My ex broke up three weeks ago. He texted me twice to chat like we are friends. I don’t want friendship! I’m ignoring him from this point on until he says something significant as to talking about reconciliation. I’m not here to help him through this break up. No way. Great video coaches.

About a year ago I rekindled with an old flame who had abruptly ended things and really crushed me. Anyways, when he pursued me again and I decided to give it another chance only because he claimed that he was truly available and looking for a commitment this time. He told me about the relationships he had in between and I didn't have any issues with that. But some time this year things just didn't add up. While I appreciate him confiding in me about so many things, there was one thing he was withholding. It was clear that he was still very in touch with the family of one of his exes. It seems that in all those years he grew very attached to her family (her kids and grandkids). He still does things with them like join family holidays, babysits the grandkids, etc. I do believe that they may not be together but this really bothers me because it doesn't show that he's actually looking for a commitment if he's still holding onto this family when he doesn't have to. He is estranged from his own biological family so it seems like he clung onto this woman for her family, despite him claiming that she and he always clashed. Her kids always come to him, too. Sometimes it makes me wonder why the kids keep staying involved, which is why I can't help thinking maybe they are together. This guy is long distance from me so I wouldn't really be able to know the truth, so to speak. Also, he seems very secretive about this. I don't know if it's because he's still with her or perhaps he knows that even though they're not together it makes him look bad and would turn off women. He won't tell me the truth about who these people are, or why he needs to be involved with them, etc. No honesty from him. From the things he's said, it looks like he was off and on with this ex at his convenience, too. The entire time he only considered marriage after giving up hope that he was going to find someone better. I know, all red flags.

Its so sad that no matter how much you love and show loyalty to them they will end up breaking your heart like cheating.

whoever does that to you they waste your time.They want you to think about them ,be in your mind but not in your life. Run for the hills. Nobody will respect you if you are always there and definately they wont come back to you.

Let us know what you think about this one. And make sure you do The Knowledge 30 minutes a day! Stick to it! 💪

Love this video. You guys are thhheeee best! 💜💖

Thank you Craig. You’re the only thing that helps me have any sort of peace of mind, even when you tell us that we might never get another chance. I think you and Margaret may have saved my life about a week ago when I found your channel.

He knows he’ll never find someone better than me. That’s why.

Thank you Craig, Margaret and Victoria. Excellent and timely video. My ex and I broke up 3 months ago. I would classify myself as anxious attachment style, which I discovered during my breakup research. I went No Contact and worked on myself. 45 days - he contacted me three times, last time to ask me out for dinner which I declined due to previous plans. 2 1/2 weeks later I heard from him last night. we talked for an hour - not about us , ust stuff. Yes, it IS confusing. I think it's either 'testing the waters' or we were best friends and get along great and he wants to keep me around as a casual friend. So, I will continue No Contact - meanwhile I am casually dating and going out with friends so I'm fine but miss him - but I'm behaving mature and up beat. thanks again

My ex finally texted me after 3 years of no contact.She is in a committed relationship,for about the same amount of time.She said how she missed me,and thought of me everyday.Blah.Blah.Blah.... I told her good luck filling my shoes And i said you might get a few toes here and there. Haha. She admitted that i did everything right and i replied.If i did,you wouldn't be there, and i wouldn't be here. I was over her a long time ago. It wasn't easy,but i did the work. She'll hit me up from time to time for my help with her problems.I don't mind doing it. We are not friends,and never will be.But,it's so cool talking to her,and not wanting her at all. Gotta love it.... Thanks!

My ex broke up 3 weeks ago. He texted twice and it was just nonsense texts. I’m not interested In friendship! I’m no longer reply to friendship texts. I’m not helping him heal from his decision. Unless he reaches out about reconciliation, I’m not replying any longer.

I leave her in peace so I can have peace and it's working she's married and moved on good luck too her.

I listened to a different coach that said *friend zone* was a good idea...and I think I really screwed it up, because now she's in a new relationship and I don't hear from her at all. This is after no contact she came back and apologized about selfish she was and saying she couldn't stand having a life without me in it...

My ex was gleefully telling me post intimacy of her dates she had the following day and how excited she was to start dating again. A woman I was with for 10yrs :D

It's more like her parents (mom and grandma) still want to stay in touch....and her mom invited me to their joint birthday party and they always reach out. I never reach out to them.

My ex tried to ask me about my love life, wtf. They're my ex, not my friend

My ex literally told me the dates she had lined up before I moved out. Hurt like hell obviously because I still loved her.

Oh yeah, this sounds so familiar to me. 😆 Great video, it is always an important topic to know about.

My girlfriend is going through a divorce and her ex is constantly talking to her. Almost every day, multiple times. Sharing pictures, locations. I talked to her about it and she agreed that it's a form of manipulation. He is manipulating her into not letting go, not allowing her to start something with a new person, forcing the new boyfriend me, to accept his presence. He recently shared a podcast about relationship advice and I about lost my cool. She had the nerve to try and get me to listen to it like it applied to us, when I blew a gasket she realized that he isn't being a friend. He is sharing things that help their relationship, and passing it off like it's something she needs to work on. Like he fucking knows how we are together

I've fallen for that friends with benefits routine... not a good way to go. Value yourself. Do not allow the manipulation... it's not fun and it's not the beginning of a healthy relationship.

I have an ex that is seeing someone but messages me. 🤷🏻‍♂️

im not the one reaching out to her but when she does call i do answer is that bad?

Ex texted me out the blue saying a lass who we met while travelling in Australia is now in our hometown and working here. Cool? Just ignored it. Probably wants to meet up for a drink, can’t blame her. I’m killing it these past few months 🔥 never go back, they left you for a reason. They want that validation, don’t give them it let them miss you.

My ex is a avoidant attachment style and wants to be friends. We are long distance so all of this is even more complicated. We broke up because she felt like she wasn’t ready for a relationship and wants to work on herself and her avoidant attachment. Im her first boyfriend after a really bad relationship 3 years ago that she was in for 9 years. I’m not sure if I should go no contact or just continue talking to her only when she reaches out to me. I really do want her back, our relationship was great in person before we started getting more serious and her avoidant side started coming out.

My ex will at least once a month will pick a fight about something. We have our schedules in a calendar linked to both phones bc we have kids together. He usually will start these fights after a few weeks of not speaking to each other. Only looking at the calendar to see what the next drop off is.

Thats tight. Don't want to be hurt anymore ..no thats one of my self worth. Not to have sex only In a serious realionship...

He wants to keep in touch and when I kept backing off, he asked to talk. When I told him Im not comfortable talking to him cuz I know he wants friendship, he asked me if im okay?? He sounded worried and told me I can confide on him. I think he doesn't want to accept I won't be his friend.

Hi there. He ended things. I unfriended him. He blocked me, saying I hurt him for unfriending him. I said ok. I'm sorry but felt you didn't really care since you broke it off. So I apologized. He unblocked me. I sent a friend request. He accepted it. I have no idea where to go from this. I'm pretty sure he's Avoidant. Or a Narcissist. 🤷🏼‍♀️

My boyfriend's ex is ruining my relationship. They don't have kids together. Why is she texting him daily? She won't back off. My boyfriend won't stop to talking to her. He admitted that they both still have feelings for each other. I don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and suddenly his ex started texting a month ago.

Iwas the one who suggested friendship after we broke up and he said yes.Then he blocks me on his phone because he felt I called" too much "as a friend, so that was it.It woud be hard to be friends and see him on the dating site again

Relationships are such a weird dance/dynamic

After 50 days of NC I woke up to 7 texts from my ex. So I replied the day after. He is avoidant and I’m anxious, he must have been buzzed cause his “tune” changed after I replied, and he replied back real quick. Bottom line he said that I was cheating while I was with him and “i cannot cover my tracks” ugh after that outburst, and him not telling me to get back him him after like his initial text told me? I don’t think I want him back.. he waited this long to “confront me?” Whatever! He never gave me a reason at the break up event all I heard was “ I can’t do this anymore” I begged him to give me a reason. I did cheat on his avoidant ass, it was very frustrating and i felt so lonely!! I love him but I told him that I don’t want him back. So Fuck him.

My ex has contacted me four times over the two weeks that we’ve been broken up. The first two times she was asking how I was doing, once the day after the break-up and another 4 days later. I initially did not respond, but I finally did 4 days after the second time she texted me. I just responded with “I’m doing okay” and nothing more. Then two days ago she texted me about some parts for her house that I had ordered in my name two weeks before we broke-up. This is just business and I gave her the status on the order. Finally, she texted tonight asking me how the weekend was. I said good, I did some things around the house and went for a couple of runs. Not much of a response. Then she asks me how I was doing emotionally, and I replied that I’m doing okay and I’m working on things. Finally, she asks if that means that I been seeking out counseling which she always wanted me to do. I reply yes and we go back and forth a bit regarding that. The question is how much of this should I be sharing with her? I feel it does show I’m trying to improve myself, but it might be sharing too many details right now.

Can you talk about what if my ex married someone else ? We have kids together. How to deal with it? We still have to talk once a week for the kids

My bf broke up with me 3 weeks ago, he has asked me to meet up for coffee twice. I’m giving him the space to clear out his thoughts/feelings. Both times he said he still needs time. I’m confused, he broke up with me and yet he’s the one reaching out wanting to see me. What does that mean?

Wanna know that ..overall i follow nc and.my ex always come back to me. Issue is we cannot see each other coz im in FL and ex is in Canada..so come and go doesnt bother me.. ex stopps texting i dont care..because will come back.sooner or later..and its prooven...

My ex does this, which confuses me a lot!

I did the No contact after being blocked for 3 months he has unblocked but I kinda also started forgetting him too and he has REACHED OUT 6/7 times. One time he was drunk and it didn’t seem he wanted to repair anything. It was 3am he Was drunk and cursed me out. I regret answering.. Another month went by and he unblocked me and said he wanted to clear the air and he repeated what he told me 3/4 times that his feelings changed for me and us. I just let him talk but he had nothing really different to say yet I listened. A few weeks later he keeps trying to call me but this time I didn’t answer. A few more weeks have passed and he keeps trying to call me and sends me pictures of himself in shirts and socks I bought him over the holidays saying like my shirt and socks and I didn’t respond. I don’t kn at this point what type of game he’s playing and at this point the NO CONTACT actually helped me self love myself and kn I have value and DESERVE BETTER.. Thanks Craig you really helped me. Watching your video helped me a lot. I’m not sure whats wrong with my ex but I kn there is someone better than him out there for me..

It's confusion, just move on

Why would he tell you? Im here im not going anywhere

Why let someone go then secretly want them when you don't want to grow with them

I wish my ex would even reach out, she's been dating a new guy since February :( That was last time she texted me to thank me again for gym shoes I got her for Christmas.

Hi Craig! What should we do if a guy is keeping in touch and still talking like old times after calling it quits. Telling me he’ll always care even though life has different plans for us. I dont get it

What do you do when your former lover is still your client? How do you maintain no contact?

Why would an ex who split up me with over a year ago, suddenly go through all my old photos on Instagram and unlike them? I mean she’s with someone else and I think they’ve been together 6months or more... the unliking must have happened in the last couple of months or so... I mean why bother?

My ex deleted my no after an argument and I started no contact,after 10 days of no contact she saved my number and deleted it again after 2 hours.I am in a one month of no contact.she is also having my sim card which she has not asked to return.is there any chance or is it over.

I dated an Avoidant for two years.... asked her to marry me! I now have multiple women who like me... but that Ex is still in my life dammit!

Hi coach why she say she will contact me

It's package deal, all on nothing works best, IMHO

Hi coach, what if it's a ex wife and you have kids. Why don't you talk more about divorce and marriage?

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