Bitlife but I'm a terrible Amish man 

Kevin’s hardest BitLife challenge: don’t become a terrible person

I love that Kevin doesn't even wonder if murder is anti-amish

*clubs his boss to death "Yay I found a way to go clubbing as an Amish person" I'm dying 😂

Like the great poet "Weird Al" Yankovic once said: "We been spending most our lives, living in an Amish paradise"

"Are the Amish good at running?" True story, one time I was at a 5k in central Pennsylvania, and who won the race? An Amish man. Literally running in full denim. Never have I been more aroused in my life

"I have a cat. Release it into the wild" Love how Kevin's first instinct when it comes to children and pets is just AbAnDoN

"I am an unexpected pregnancy, I am a Cancer, I am dumb as a rock." Stop calling me out Kevin 😭

“Id probably be evil without the internet too” Ah yes, a world where Kevin still works retail

15:30 You gotta respect his girlfriend's dedication to staying with him until that moment. He: Tried to go into relationship counseling immediately, and insulted her when she didn't want to go. Asked her for money when they were engaged and then cancelled the engagement when she said no. Insulted his supervisor, tried to sue them, and got fired for it. Tried to hook up with a friend he hadn't talked to for years. Put up one of their children for adoption when she didn't want to make love to him. Did many, many burglaries over the years. Accused her of having another man's baby when it was clearly his. Joined the Mafia, instantly got caught and became an informant. Not sure what this woman saw in Noah Electric that made her endure this behavior for several decades, but you gotta admire it.

It’s impressive that they had a child by talking in bed fully clothed 😂

"both my siblings are getting promotions and I'm just here jobless and angry" That hit waay too close to home for my liking

“i’m going after the one group that can’t go after me” I’m dying kevin stoppp😂😂

Only Kevin could make "I'll donate you to science too" into a threat. Also I'm loving that Sims 1 background music

Kevin should play a game called Clock Tower (1996) because it seems perfect. Outdated graphics, bad voice acting, choices that can get you killed, and a murderer with a giant pair of scissors.

As someone who lives in the heart of Amish country, watching you try to guess what they’re like was hilarious. And they do have pets. Kevin just likes to abandon things too much 😂

“I’d probably be evil without the internet too.” … Even more so? I wonder how catastrophically evil Kevin would be without the internet.

this game needs an amish mod that highlights all the options an amish can take, but doesn't stop you from choosing other options.

Paddleboats are OP, it seems like every time Kevin hops in one of those bad boys his mood skyrockets.

"You are told that your depression is preventing you from being reliable" god damn i felt that one.

The fact Kevin didn't even think of working out or going to the salon/spa as a natural way of looking better

There's levels to the Amish life. Some have carriages, some have cars. Some of the more traditional Amish talk smack about others carriages because the door isn't "traditional" enough. 🤣 It really is a full spectrum.

"My supervisor literally assaulted me, and I'm the one getting fired because I'm sad". Somehow, in America, this tracks.

Kevin's search history: Are Amish couples allowed to sleep together? (9 months later): Can Amish babies get curcimsized?

Kevin doesn’t think any Amish people can watch him. Wait till he hears about Rumspringa

I love how as soon as he got a girfriend he forgot that the amish can't have sex until marriage. but well he's a relationship genius after all so he probably has his reasons

"Was the cat named after the kid or was the kid named after the cat?" Neither. They were both name after famous tennis player LeBron Jones

The fact this family named their kid after their cat since the cat was in the family first 😭

I feel like Noah Lectricity woulda been a more fitting name

As soon as he let the cat go I had to rewind to see if the brother was named after the cat or not. He was, in fact, named after the cat.

The Amish are pacifists, so they would never murder their boss. They'd hire a hitman.

I work at a retail store and one of the weirdest experiences was a middle age Amish couple purchasing a giant bottle of lube and a pack of condoms. Normally I wouldn’t care. But it’s just not something I pictured an Amish couple going to the store to JUST buy condoms and lube. Good for them for real, just threw me off guard.

I love how Kevin's only options for careers in almost all of his Bitlife playthroughs are Exorcist, pr0n Historian (or set janitor), cat behavior consultant, and horse sp3rm extractor. His siblings always take up being "seamen" and his parents suffer from hemorrhoids (and oversharing). Also, he doesn't forget to steal and murder someone and make bad casino choices, with buying an exotic pet and boat and abandoning adopted children.

"The famous Amish mafia" Kevin there's a whole reality TV show about an Amish mafia and it's hilarious, you've got to check it out

"Because I'm ugly ,stupid and depressed" literally described my entire life

"They didn't give me the interview. Why? Because I'm really ugly, stupid and depressed?" Whelp...that's a comment I can relate to! 😂

“Guess we’ll have to murder them then!“ (Haven’t hit play yet, but pretty confident placing my bets as to how this goes)

You know it’s a CallmeKevin video when you audibly go “oh god what now” after reading the title. Never change, Kevin, never change

Aways remember, There's no time for sin and vice Living in an Amish paradise.

"Yes, Noah, you can sleep over at your girlfriend's place. Just make sure you never stop chatting while she's desperately trying to fall asleep." Is this how I have to imagine that...? xD

Kevin: ok no gambling cuz im Amish "proceed to steal and murder people and join a mafia gang"

amish basics: no technology, lots of arts and crafts. carpentry would have been good. they're allowed to experiment a little with technology in their teen years!

Kevin’s smile when he said “lawsuit” X’D

“Don’t do the crime if you ain’t got time, but I have I time so we’re go gonna do crime.” ~ Mohammad Gandhi

Finally a bitlife where he can't lose at the casino

Random things about the Amish: They're pacifists. If a family has a phone, it's in the barn. They use technology for business things, not sure to what extent though. A lot of then don't use cars, they use horse and buggy. They live in the world but are not it in that they don't participate in politics at all.

the uncanniness of this is, that literally last weekend i was among the amish. they make really good ice cream

As someone from Pennsylvania, I find his complete lack of knowledge about the Amish hilarious.

Kevin saying that he doesn't know a whole lot about the Amish, meanwhile I'm here from the other side of the world only hearing about Amish people...

The head electrician at the factory my dad worked at when I was a kid was an Amish guy. And he had a generator in his barn at his house so he could do automotive repairs as a side job. It's impressive what things certain Amish sects allow and don't allow compared to other Amish sects.

i actually live next to the amish and goodness is it chaotic. they’re not great people (my neighbors, not speaking for all amish in general). they’ve killed our animals sadly, they drive past our house in their buggy at night very slowly with their stereo blasting super loud. they run a lumber mill there. right next door. all year long. for the past several years. it is very chaotic

"You refuse to make love to me alright, I'm gonna put our child up for adoption" I think Kevin has just discovered a new level of petty.

BitLife is one of those games that is super boring whenever I play it myself but when Kevin plays it it's always a blast ^.^

I laughed far too much at the, "That's a bummer." joke. I am mature.

I truly believe Kevin still has idle breakout tab open somewhere

3:07 You can see how proud he is about that joke and its the greatest thing ever The intro was the best thing ever I go after the one group that cant go after me amazing

"my depression is preventing me from being dependable" being called out in a Call Me Kevin video once again

Me, half-listening at work Kevin: "Travis, I'm gonna kill you!" Me: "wait, wtf did *I* do!?"

Kevin: I need children to work for me Also Kevin: puts his child up for adoption as soon as they reach working age

One day Kevin will find a game that he lives in a normal life in... ...Probably not actually.

The kid being named after the cat reminded me of when my son's dad wanted to name him after his cat 🤣 I told him absolutely not, we aren't doing that.

As someone who lives in lancaster PA where there are a shit ton of amish people, i can confirm that this is accurate

I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark and say that Kevin knows nothing about the Amish

Kevins BitLife Characters and a Paddle Boat go together like peanut butter and jelly. It never fails

My favourite part of every Kevin's BitLife playthrough is when he switches over to another family member and they're always more successful than him (that is, until he ruins their lives).

Imagine if Kevin goes for an interview later on for a job and they just see all this about him

I googled it: the Amish don't circumcise. You're welcome

10 seconds in and Kevin has already made an enemy to his cult.

I learned so much about the Amish today. I mean, they can’t exactly come here to refute anything, so it may as well all be true.

“He’s just stealing technology so no one else is aloud to use it.” That’s killed me 😂

I live in Lancaster, where we have one of the largest Amish populations. This is entirely accurate. 100% spot on

Kevin’s understanding of retirement is on par with Michael Scott’s understanding of bankruptcy.

I live in the middle of Amish land, and Kevin looks exactly like every Amish in his thumbnail

Doesn't matter what chracter, the recurrent plan Kevin in Bitlife is always crime.

"To be fair I'd probably be evil without the internet too", if he's not evil, what is he now?

As someone who once had a flip phone, I'm something of an Amish myself

I come from your newer Ouya video to say that you mean a lot to me. As a person, and the content you make. The first videos I watched from you were your Telltale's Walking Dead serious, and they killed me. I've been hooked ever since. You've honestly helped me through so much and been the thing that I look forward to on a regular basis. I haven't been here since the beginning, but I'm glad you picked me up for the ride. Also this video is really good too

"My existence is a joke" Relatable.

Kevin: insult my supervisor, get the last laugh! Also Kevin 30 seconds earlier: *kills supervisor*

The cat was 14 so they definitely named their kid after the family pet; beautiful

I love how Kevin loves Bitlife so much and it's so entertaining to watch 😂

This Happened in bitlife for me: Russia’s Callme Kevin becomes a local hero after saving 10 people from a sinking bus. He was awarded for his actions.

it's impossible for Kevin to play bitlife without turning to crime

“take a MasterClass in writing?” “i’d rather MasterBate” CRYING 😭😭

We used to go to the lake near my Grandma's cabin in Kentucky and one time we saw and Amish family there. They legit swam fully clothed, so you were right about the pool.

Kevin, how did you know that right in this moment I needed one of your bitlife videos...thanks for making my shitty day better ❤️

Kevin's hardest challenge to get through a whole life with hearing "owww"

Kevin scolding any Amish in the audience at the end was a real treat.

I missed bitlife. They're my favorite.

Kevin really went after the one group that aren’t here to defend themselves

Me: *receives notification : Callmekevin "I tried Bitlife but I am Amish" Also me: *crossing myself* jay-sus pray for the souls of the departed

I love it how Kevin started working for another Church when he is was amish

Ah, LeBron, a classic Amish name...

Ah yes, the military genius takes on being an Amish. How entertaining 🤣

It’s always so nice to see him post BitLife I started to play it after I saw him I tried like him but the always end up bad Even when I tried to be good I get falsely accused

I’ve been having such a rough day and this video was the first time I laughed/smiled all day, Kevin is the best ❤️

There are a lot of different types of Amish people. Some can use electricity if it's not in the house, like in a shed or barn, some can use cell phones, some can drive, some can use zippers and some can't, some can wear multiple colors on clothing and some only use one. In summation, the Amish are weird and one of life's great mysteries.

see if you die at someones funeral its the same as proposing at someone's wedding, don't be selfish. >:^(

And somehow we always come back full circle with these... Kevin turns to crime 😂

Hi Kevin. I absolutely love your BitLife videos, I think I've seen them all, so I was happy to see a new one uploaded, I can't wait for the next one.

The best part is that if an Amish person gets mad at this then you know they’re not a real Amish person