Can I Say Happy Birthday To My Ex During No Contact 

That sucks Chevy. I would’ve felt the same way. We live and learn and are better for it 😊

at first I had said well he did say happy birthday to me after the DEBACLE (THE DAY BEFORE LOL) but then that didnt stop him from keep going.......on what happened next sooo

@@lestermatos2989 well, I think dumpers are to some extent responsible for dumpee's mental health. I know most o people will say no, but when you make some one get attached to you for years and years, and then in one minute this personal mental health or struggle is not your responsibility anymore! That is unfair.

@@chevy2583 that is exactly what I thought. I remember asking him to please help me or how is he doing it like advise on how he is handling the separation and he said "that is not my responsibility ask your friends" It is sad that we don't actually know the type of person one lays with UNTIL THINGS ARE NOT GREAT OR ROSIE

@@lestermatos2989 Exact same thing here, I was so very lonely and asked her, just plz don't leave me in this bad timing, and we will separate in a civil way, not in such a hardcore cut. I said several years of relationship worth a better breakup. Her answer was not my responsibility, go to your family and friends. As a side note, for over 7 years she made me separate from my family and friends. It is just terrible. I hope you are doing well btw.

Thanks buddy. I hood you’re feeling better.

Holyshit me too she literally broke up with me 1 week before my birthday she ended an 8 year relationship

samehere

@@BABANUKI212 wow she was heartless

It’s the best gift of all.

My pleasure Nicole, thank you for being part of the movement. You’re doing great.

I would advise against trying to hurt their ego. This is more about the dumpee projecting their ideal outcome onto the dumper. It’s also ensuring the dumpee is in a position not to feel hurt and rejected again.

@@TheLoveFix-Nick so you’re saying to call them? 🧐

Marley, how did you reach that conclusion?

Spiro: so if you wanna hurt their ego don’t call them Then you said you wouldn’t advise trying to hurt their ego. Just wasn’t sure what you meant by it

Context is key here Marley. What I’m saying is don’t manipulate and don’t play games. The intention behind what we do is also key. Am I not contacting them to hurt their ego, or am I not contacting them to help myself move on? One of those has a positive outcome, the other does not.

Tell him to collect his stuff within 7 days or you’re throwing it out. Don’t ever let someone dump you, and then use you to get over you. I hope you feel better.

Thanks for your kind words. The best course of action is to do whatever will help heal you. I don’t think blocking is necessary unless it’s a stalker or something. But if blocking helps with your mental health then that’s what you do.

Great, take your power back. You’ve got this! 💪💪💪

The devil inside me says you should say this. “Happy birthday. This message is an investment!” 😈😈😈🤣🤣🤣

It’s not about being a jerk, my friend. It’s about doing what we must to be okay. If you can say happy birthday to your ex, without any hidden motives, all power to you. Sadly, most people can’t.

Go have fun. 😊

What are your intentions behind your actions? Are you saying happy birthday just to be kind, or are you secretly hoping it will spark something and lead to a reconciliation. If it’s the second one, then you already know deep down it’s the wrong thing to do.

That’s mind reading and it will only drive you crazy. Only your ex will know the answer to your question. Either way, unless she does reach out, assume it means nothing and focus all your energy on your healing. I hope you feel better.

I’m sorry to hear that Alex. When you say situationship. Were you guys exclusive and intimate at any point? Who stopped talking to whom first? Who initiated the end of your dynamic?

@@TheLoveFix-Nick it's hard to tell, we knew we were more than friends, we both had feelings for each other and would do relationship stuff together (holding hands, cuddling, sleeping in the same bed...) but it never went too far, we had a big conversation about it and he told me how he wanted to work on it and help me overcome my commitment issues so we could have a healthy relationship and then a few months later when we were at a party he hooked up with his ex and we just kind of ghosted each other, he knew he messed up and i was really hurt and we haven't spoken since but multiple people on multiple occasions told me how he talks about me all the time and how much he regrets it but i obviously didn't want to reach out first unless he apologized. and he didn't. he just kept talking about me without actually talking to me. all of this happened like 7 months ago and your videos helped me so much around that time so i want to thank you for your amazing content!

Sounds like this may been codependent which is never a good foundation. “He wanted to help you with your commitment issues” Only you can fix that my friend. Until that’s fixed, it will be hard to have a healthy relationship with anyone. Have you considered therapy?

@@TheLoveFix-Nick yeah actually, I'm working hard on that and i know it's my own issue that i have to fix myself, i never expected him to fix me of course, what i was trying to say is that he was patient with me while i was trying to navigate my own problems and the other way around... until he did what he did

😊 good for you. Keep taking the baby steps and you’ll get there.

You can say happy birthday to her, BUT only if there are no hidden motives are attachments to outcomes. If you feel reaching out hurt you more than anything else then don’t say anything.

I guess you could return the birthday wish. But I would keep it short and sweet and don’t discuss the breakup or relationship, or how you’re feeling.

Good for you buddy, but try not to let your imagination let you think “it’s clear he doesn’t care about me”. That’s projection my friend, and it’s helpful to your cause. I hope you’re well.

@@TheLoveFix-Nick what do you mean not let it?

Don’t let your imagination fill in the gaps I.e. “it’s clear her doesn’t care” that your imagination filling in the gaps buddy.

@@TheLoveFix-Nick ohh ok got it!

So you’re into him more than he is into you and doesn’t want a relationship? If that’s correct, I’d advise to NOT text him. If you think there a genuine chance and he’ll have then sure, reach out.

@@TheLoveFix-Nick no he is not into me anymore.... i mn its a very long story very messy and complicated....also he moved to canada 8 months ago and he is not coming back 🥲

I’m sorry to hear that. If he’s not coming I would suggest focusing on your own wellbeing and self love. Don’t be the go to person for the person you can’t go to.

@@TheLoveFix-Nick yeahh!! Thanks for the concern 😊

Hmmm that’s a tough one. But key word here is “were”, as in you’re not close any longer.

If he is the dumper, then he needs to reach out to you. It was his idea to leave, it has to be his idea to come back.

@@TheLoveFix-Nick yes he was the dumper and i sincerely apologised to him without disturbing him and in a mature way 10 days after breakup. thank you for your reply i really trust your words i won’t wish him hbd.

I hope you feel better. I know it’s savagely difficult but don’t invest in people who don’t invest in you.

@@TheLoveFix-Nick thank you❤️ i was feeling better day by day but i watched a video that says if you take them for granted, no contact will make you lose them. so i am anxious these days. actually i didnt take him for granted fully i was just a little bit ignorant first few months of the relationship. but i was trying to fix everything last weeks of the relationship. we were together for 1,5 year. because he blamed me while breaking up with me, i feel guilty. but i know i wasnt the only problem and the problems could have been solved.

No contact is FOR YOU! It’s to get YOU BACK. Be careful with the content you watch on RU-vid. 😊

Not your problem, let them get on with and find someone who isn’t depressed. Don’t make their shit your responsibility.

Do you have a question?

@@TheLoveFix-Nick my ex left me on the 16th October for another women 😒 but he told me he not coming back home .do you think he will come back home after a rebound?

@@TheLoveFix-Nick I just don't get it to be honest asking me what I would like for my birthday when he chose to break our relationship up .

I’m sorry to hear that. That’s heartbreaking. Actions never lie and words don’t mean shit. Respond to his actions not his words, but right now his actions align with his words. It’s better for you to spend this time on yourself and your healing.

@@TheLoveFix-Nick thank you for replying back 🙂 I appreciate you .oh yes I will have to ignore him when he has to look after his kids. It's heartbreaking 💔 it's so hard not to bite back. But he in a toxic rebound he carnt see it .but I could see it b4 him

I guess you could send a basic happy birthday message as she send you one. You’re then matching her level. The most Important thing to keep in mind is, how will effect your mental wellbeing? Try not to be attached to an outcome. If you’re saying birthday. say with no intent of getting attention back.

@@TheLoveFix-Nick leave it alone unless I still want to be with her

Not sure what you mean. Can you retype that please?

@@TheLoveFix-Nick what I meant I would not send her a message at all she’s a ex for a reason

It’s okay to wish it back, as long as you’re not expecting anything in return and it derail your progress.

@@TheLoveFix-Nick And what if i don’t wish her a happy birthday? What are the benefits?

Buddy, I think you’re overthinking this. It is about benefits or out thinking your ex. It’s what’s best for you and your recovery.

That depends. What would your intentions be behind saying happy birthday after 1 year of no contact?

Yes never they are dead to you