Should I Contact My Ex To Wish Them Happy Birthday, New Year, Christmas, or Congratulate? 

Agreed. Five years. she was my Priority for five Damn years

Got em👏

Angelina Jolie 💯

The gift of absence, is the best gift. Usually the dumper wants to control the end. These individuals love a FB birthday timeline. They love the validation and if you stick around, they may talk to you. So is it worth being dumped and staying friends or wishing a happy birthday?..NO, unless you dont value yourself. That's what goodbyes are made for, you wish them the best.

Angelina Jolie exactly 👏

That is savage

@@Omnitrix8 A little, but deserved.

Yeah!

I agree

Well said.

Perfect! How thoughtful!

@@RealCoachLee 😂😂👑

Oh no! Coach Lee didn’t say kill her.

Kinda curious as this was 2 months ago, did she ever reach out?

@@danieleckmann8919 probably banging another dude by now

Bless You❤

my ex broke contact and she wanted to meet at church. She never called me when she arrived. After service we met at the parking lot and she noticed I was in better shape, was happy about my baptism, saw me aligned with God; while she spiraled downhill. She did say she needed that sermon because it helped. She felt her reconnection with God. We were to meet 4 days later. She texted me the next day saying she was happy that she went to church. She followed up by saying: "Hey, I don't think I am ready to hang out with you . I hope you understand. " that hurt and all I said (a few hours later): "yeah that's cool" I felt she was overwhelmed that she cled the breakup but she got confused seeing me because I am a better version of myself and wasn't expecting that. It hurt that though

As a man of faith myself i completely surrender my love life to God and I fully trust Him with that. I always pray if it's your willingness then you make it happen or if not then show me the reason to stay away from her.

But then arent you just lying to yourself...?

Andrew Reed no you are being smart..

truth!

@@areed2268 they dont want to see you emotional, they dont want your emotions. They want to feel attracted to you..

This is why I fucked up so bad. Follow your heart? Not so much. More like follow theirs..

M.S.C ISLAND you my man are 100% fucking ob point! if you were good with them, it might takes YEARS but they will reach out

Samuel Ose I don’t want her back. I have a better girlfriend.

No true . i love my ex but couldn't do the distance

10000% 💯👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Spot on! I have come to the same conclusion. My ex'es kicked me to the curb...not for lying, cheating, abuse, betrayal, belittling, not communicating, or any of that. They wanted me to give up my music, my family, and prove my love. They thought they could do better, didn't feel cherished, honored, etc. So this was all about them. But, of course, I blamed myself and felt guilt and shame, which is what they wanted. BUT, to your point, someone who rejects/abandons/betrays/leaves, doesn't love you...and more often than not, NEVER loved you. Not really. Someone who truly loves you, accepts you, believes in you, values you, sees you and, more importantly, loves and cares about themselves, isn't going to kick you to the curb; at least not without some serious cause and several chances to right the ship. So you're/we're actually better off, even though it will cut deeply and feel terrible. This is a real price we pay when we love someone and planned to spend a lifetime with someone. But it's time to embrace yourself and be good to yourself, even though you might feel like a piece of crap. As Coach Lee says take heart if you held up your end of the relationship; if you were a stand-up person and were loyal, loving, trusting, caring, open to working things out. See that and appreciate yourself for that. We can't control others and their actions; only us. And do we really want to be in a relationship with another human being who doesn't want to be with us, or doesn't know what they want or who they are? No. No. I know it's REALLY , really hard, almost impossible, to not contact, accept, let it all go, but try your best, because it's the best thing you can do for you. (And the people who care about you!) My experience is my experience, but I have never ever heard from any of my ex'es ever again. 10, 15, 20, even 30 years later. Even when they ended up alone. They all said I set the bar high and would be "a tough act to follow." Yet, they never had any second thoughts, that I was aware of. None of them ever missed me. Or certainly not enough to spur them to act. Again, another sign that you're lucky to be clear of someone like that. And I refuse to believe that I brought no value to the relationships. I KNOW I cared deeply about them and was committed to them and our relationship with all my heart. I wasn't perfect, but I was certainly worthy of real consideration as a partner. And the same holds true for all of you reading this, I strongly suspect. You'll know what's really true if you search your heart. So, while I don't disagree with what Coach Lee says about some lovers missing you, having twinges of regret or remorse, second thoughts, etc. I've never seen it, known it, heard of it. And not just for me. Others I know have experienced same. Anecdotal, of course. But, my money is on presuming the "worst" ("best," in the big picture, right?) and moving on with your life and your love! First, give that great, real love to yourself, and then, if it's in the cards, to someone who will actually see it, understand it, value it, accept it, and be able to return it in a mature, real way. Good luck to all!

Facts

Well said

They can kick rocks

Agreed. Time to move on. Good luck folks

😂

My ex gave the wish but asked for space before so I guess dont wish her one. I dont want to seem cold because she wished me one

She went away twice this time. Her thing is whole year no contact, just wish me a "Happy Birthday, Stay Well. "... And then nothing for another year. I'm suspecting she is going to do it again.

@@Rizu-kc3ze same here, she went away twice in a year, she went with another man

@@josephdelossantos6519 just forget about it man, be happy that you got to know something which was never yours is not yours. Have a fulfilling and happy life man. That's the purpose. Another person can't give you what you r lacking cuz it come from within. That has been my experience, hope it helps you somewhat :)

@@Rizu-kc3ze thanks a lot, yeah at this 3 m onths of being dumped, im loving back myself, realized its not worth fighting for, yes you are right, im not enough of her, better leave. twice she hurt me

will he come back if he ghosted me?

Just greeted him personally. He just smiled at me and I felt bad. All I want is to be kind to him.

So i did it for small provocation, maybe... ;-)

Not always true lol. Depends on situation, it was mostly mutual tho I basically was the driving force behind its; opening the conversation, turning down invitations of a break. I do want to hear from them, I just want it to be backed up with action otherwise it’s no point yes I feel more in control of the situation and loved. But there’s no point and maybe it disrupts by process or creates denial

@@yswen828 I wouldn’t count on it. But he could come back and just string you along. Coming in and out of your life all the time. You don’t need to hang onto a guy who does either. If a guy ghosts you (which has happened to me too) he’s too much of a coward to just end things with you, and you’re left wondering what happened. If he does come back, most likely it didn’t work out with whoever he blew you off for. And he’s coming back to keep you as a backup option while he’s looking to date someone else. Don’t waste your time hoping he’ll come back. Find a better guy who won’t ghost you.

NihilTimendumEst It speaks volumes

It's painful l want my ex back so badly... He doesn't want me back instead their moving back to his hometown in December. He texted me 3 weeks once his son is done school in spring then there moving, that was a big blow l was devastated. In August this year him and his 16 years old son left to Onatrio for 2 weeks holiday. this really hurts because every year we talked about going to Ontario for me to finally meet our family and this year after their breakup he makes the plan is still there for him too visit the family and this time is different both of us did our taxes together a month afterwards he broke up with me he got four times as much back as me he could easily afford to go. After they came back their holiday he called me to tell me their moving back this December I totally broke down crying. He didn't expect me to take it this hard... well when I met him I gave him my heart and all, I did everything for them and he just threw it away like l was rag doll. When he call me I was shopping just about to purchase a item he just told me the news my hands started shaking my voice panic dropped the item walked out in shock. I cried for an hour straight while talking to me then he encouraged me to come over to visit. That turned to overnight I don't know if I regret it spending the night with him he knows I miss him a lot and l want him back, however he says we're like oil and water we're not compatible. It's still breaks my heart it's been almost 5 months since the breakup my feelings is still the same... you think by now I'll be over him but I'm not. I have my stuff stored at this place until I find a new place the thing I'm worried about the most is his 16 year old son is slowly going to myself breaking stealing damaging my stuff burning poking holes in my stuff, sad to see a lot of stuff that's undisturbed his dad never tried to replace it in the end I told his dad his son sabotage our relationship and he allowed to happen and he didn't do nothing about it to save out relationship. Of course he had no comment on it cuz I was right. I believe my ex is narcissist self-centered selfish ass. Like they say what comes around goes around...

Thought I was the only one😭

Thats how I feel too

Same here

@@renepulido9763 How's it going man?

@@eliascrooker7773 Not the best, I reached out abt a week ago cuz I heard she was self harming but instead of talking to me she tried making herself look like the victim in the break up. So I decided tht I wasnt going to break no contact for anything again. Just gonna let her do her and let her friends who all are complaining that she's asking for attention deal with her. I'll update you guys the next time something big happens

Me too his birthday is coming nextweek i was planning to txt him but lucky i saw this video😆..thank you coach for saving us😄

@@ms.serendipity1593 hey guess what? We just made love. 63 days of no contact brought my ex back.

@@vainarrara6651 congrtas im happy for you love wins💞 ..well mine is more than a half year 9months already he will never be back ..i just only remember his birthday by nextweek if i should greet him.. then i watch this video..thankfully

@@vainarrara6651 update, y'all still together?

@@heymsbecky unfortunately no, we stayed together long enough for me to realize we are incompatible. But I want to give credit to coach Lee. It is much better to end the relationship naturally than abruptly, the pain I was carrying first time we broke up was devastating. this time we broke up in a place for healing. Getting her back was 100% worth it.

so should i wish my ex in new year eve or her birthday?

@@DavidD0007 no

@@ManviSharma1994 why?

@@DavidD0007 im getting tempted cause 10 years, but i ma listen to my brain and not do it

Guess that only works if she doesnt right on hop in the next relationship like mine. Happy for you my dude

Ryan Topp how long were you in No Contact for? Congrats and happy for you both :)

@@user-ev4jg5dk2k thanks mate, just about 30 days but had been exchanging brief messages before we met

Ryan Topp thanks ...it’s nice to hear happy ending stories. I m approaching 30 days and still no messages or anything. He reads my IG stories promptly but I don’t think it means anything. Sigh...

can someone talk to me, i just need someone to talk to...

Yep

I Do , Agree with you , Just let it go

Totally agree let them go move on the quicker the better

@@latricewright1575 I wish the No contact folks emphasized the personal healing and self-improvement rather than the “I’ll show her, and get her back” aspect

You are right.. that is why it's best to proceed with leaving the door open, walking away, and never looking back

Hi been in NC for 2 months 4 months since wife up an left me, It really Hurts like hell but after 20 years its always going too hurt like hell. She has started seeing a guy already What a shock that was. For sure moving forward is the best method but taking time for me is so important

Michal Sterenberg ...4 real

Update?

Well done..

Red if I may ask what caused your breakup.

Red Shad my advise to you is definitely work on yourself excersise and try to build your career. Always stay positive.

She didn’t like my smoking. I heard she is engaged.

@@redshadlizard Ouch

These sayings are so confusing!

Out of sight out of mind better applies to things people have no knowledge of. But if someone loved you, you're on their mind.

​@@ericvega3597but if they lost feelings for you and you don't recreate the spark will they?

Good idea

Very well said. I feel so Empowered.

The Melodist hecking yes

Damn, I haven’t been able to get over my ex either after like 9 months even after following all the logical steps. Shits hard

David Hall My ex broke up with me three months ago and those first two were painful. However, I’m now doing great. Life is better and I have a new job on the horizon. I’m working out and eating well. Even my therapist and friends notice it. I still think of her from time to time but I’m not allowing her to live rent free. Whenever a thought of her pops in I interrogate the Thot until it’s gone. I’m sorry you’ve been struggling but how is the time to get through it! You’ve got this.

Chris Stella Nah. Thanks though.

What if I broke up with her but she is acting like everything is fine but I know she is still hurting because of how she acts on social media and when she sees me? We broke up in September and on and off texted afew times every month but after running into her at church and talking to her, I have gone no contact for 2 weeks and I'm not gonna say anything to her on Christmas but I do want to send a small "Happy New Years." Text on the 1st if that's okay?

So true, Tom.

Been there done that...... after 10 years he realised that i was the only one he wanted..... that boat has already sailed my dear.....

This is very true. I’m honestly scared that my ex will never get it. He is so disassociated with his emotions. He zones out and distracts his self.

@@PinkLaptop if he's your ex, it's not your problem if he doesn't get it. Maybe he will. Maybe he won't. You should look forward, not backward.

true dat

Amina Abdullah well said dear

been there.. and its very very hard to crawl out of that bond. The never ending cycle of dealing with a narcissist is both emotionally and mentally challenging. But I've finally broke free. Blocked him and deleted everything that may remind me of him.

they are not demons, they just don't know how to control their emotions, my ex is also a narcissist, and oh my god she is the most selfish person I have ever met, they just do what they feel like is right, which is puttin themselves first all the time, that is just the way they are, don't worry they will not be happy in any relationship ever

Amina Abdullah exactly

Definitely. I've listened to other coaches and they just go on tangents leaving the dumpee with more questions. Coach Lee keeps it 100

I know a man who help me get my ex back in two weeks

I agree. Im on no contact rule and been for more than a month, but her Bday is coming up in 1,5 months. I will congrats my ex since she left me because I was an a-hole in a long period of time and after the divorce I changed to a better person and push myself everyday to be better. So this BS rule he is talking about is certainly not the way for mature people! Actually the chances of getting her back is bigger because she sees that Ive matured. I believe in kindness no matter what, be kind and the universe will bring you kindness back!!

​@@nickiboy33I agree. Though I don't know exactly if that's 100% correct. But I've been d*ickhead many times, she broke because I behaved badly. Her birthday was just 3 days we've met to end this relationship and I left her a gift at the door, like used to. She came back after 3 days, happy about it. I was casual, polite and kind, and even a bit cocky and flirty, she did though asked me if I was with someone at the trip I made that day. Which is interesting, I played friendly with that question but eventually said I wasn't, which was true. And I returned to NC. We'll see what future bring. Peace

Peter White Same here omg

Same here also.

I was just going to say the same thing, but I'll just like this comment instead.

Yeah 👍🏾

Walter White lol I know. It answered my questions about texting her on our anniversary (late January) or her birthday

@Mia never heard from him again. It’s been a year and half now. I heard thru my family he has a new girlfriend. On with life now

@@Lea-ik5cs do u Think what would be different if you wished them happy birthday

@@cap5762 no

@@Lea-ik5cs it’s been 3 months of nc for me. She wished me happy birthday within nc at midnight exact. I feel I should say it back. Hers is In a month..

Lol

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

LMAO thank you for this, I needed it!

What happened after that? How did you respond, if at all?

tiina mettala,your pretty smile can make the news

+18678883717⏯️⏯️💕💕

Ray...I hope you stuck with No Contact. I know it's been 3 years since you posted, but I am responding more to reach someone who may be newly dumped. No Contact has the best chance of restoring things, like Coach Lee says. It doesn't always work, but there really isn't much choice anyway. Nothing worked in my case. She left for someone else. After 25 years together, it was a surprise, but there is nothing I could do. The holidays are here and don't plan to hear from or contact her. She left over 7 months ago and there has been no contact except for some business things. There are times, unfortunately, when one has to just take the hit and move on. Tough, but there isn't much choice. I will say, things get better. They always do, but it just takes some time. It may not be what some want to hear, but you have to prepare yourself that it is possible they don't ever come back. I wish you all well.

Godbless you...right girl will come ..in Gods will😉

R Rodriguez well something must have been wrong in the relationship for her to just take off it must not have been so wonderful to her it's something your not telling, get well soon.

How long was ur first relationship

How is it going?

@@davewilson4753 hi Dave..

Update?

I feel ya. You're not alone.

Update? What ended up happening after that?

+2348077751695⏯⏯⏯⏯ Hello it's work i can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.....

What'Sapp him 🖕🖕

I did same too and now I'm angry I did

I did same too and now I'm angry I did

how did it go man??

Sounds good. You can't live in limbo forever. No one should have to.