Depression: 3 Things You May Be Doing That Can Actually Make it Worse 

What else do you find helpful when you're struggling?

Wow! Someone who understands. I simply just don’t want or feel the need most of the time to do anything! People please stop saying, “get over it.” I would if I could. Thank you for this I don’t feel so alone now. 👍

Everyone is different. I have experienced major depressions earlier in my life. I don't fall down as deep anymore. For me it works to say to myself 'C'mon, you are better than this', ' are you going to be a quitter? No! I am a fighter like a winner. I am going to be like the one's who are fighters and survive! I am one of the fighters, so shape up now, you know you can, because you are a survivor, a fighter, strong!' And for me it has helped ... otherwise I feed the depression and stay in it. I do allow myself to rest and recuperate when my body and mind says no/stop, though. O don't say to, myself 'you should do this or that', I just accept if I have periods when I need much more down time. P.S. I do have and practice self-compassion, and love myself! And I didn't have parents who said 'Shape up' etc. I just have decided to not stay in my 'pain body', or be too dragged down when the 'pain body' has taken over, and it has helped and shifted my life these last years to a much happier life. I practice mindfulness; I acknowledge my feelings and thoughts, and take responsibility over my own thoughts and actions ... If it is not a good, hopeful, upstream thought, I change it. I am done with stress thoughts etc. Nothing good comes out of stress thoughts, negative thoughts, self hate, negativity etc. Life will present enough challenges anyway, so better save one's energy for that. I write down what I am grateful for in life (small or big) before I sleep and when I wake up, and I don't only write it, I feel the feeling of gratitude inside of me and smile. And if I am sad, I let myself be sad for a bit and give myself self-compassion and love. All the best to everyone @-->--

I've tried therapy, never found someone like you, LOVE YOUR VIDEOS!

I am going through a lot in my life right now with work, family issues that I am away from, and a failing relationship on top of it. There was a lot that spoke to me here and I just wanted to thank you for putting this out for those of us who are struggling to find.

I hold down a full time job as a homecarer and very often wake up feeling depressed and anxious but still choose to care for people who really need help on all levels Still working on the self compassion it's ironic I work in a role where I'm showing care and compassion to others and that's the way I need to treat myself What a great upload 😀Got alot from it Thanxs for your contribution to us all on RU-vid

You speak with so much compassion and understanding

I agree with many others posts! I think the one huge need for people in depression is surrounding themselves with others. Doing things, just being together. And kids only make the illness harder, Bc you have to be strong for them and it’s hard enough to be strong for you!

u r the best human being for me right now...u helped me so much that i cannot even explain in words....im speechless...i just wanna say THANKYOU from bottom of my heart...i really appreciate you helping all the people with depression like me...thankyou soo much

I don't know if you have experience with emotional eating, but I'd love to see some content on that.

I'm a 20 year old whose relationship is in deep distress due to my depression and I from the bottom of my heart and the pit of my soul THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH

I'm glad you posted this video because I feel like I'm losing to depression everyday and wonder what to do with my self everyday thank you for posting this video

You've motivated me to ride my bike more often, thank you Julia 🤗

Yeah, definitely guilty of that first one. Self sabotaging talk and being hard on myself.

Foolishly loosing my decades long career job, has devastated me. The Stress was SO strong, I got insomnia, anxiety and depression. I have regret and guilt/blame keeps the stress and insomnia. Unable to exercise, unable to go anywhere, do anything. No interest or desires. Counseling hasn't helped.....

I really appreciate your videos. There’s a lot of great information here for people who are depressed and those who care for them. Thanks.

I like when you say get rid of the crap that’s holding us back ! Stop kicking our own asses . Start doing the things we don’t want to do . Just do it ! It can only get better if we take action ! Slow down ,relax , don’t struggle , again don’t feed the monkey mind and practice mindfulness ! Great stuff ! Thank you Kristina !

i really hope your channel starts to get more attention soon and your content reaches out to as many as people as possible. good wishes :)

As someone who has struggled with depression since around 5 I don't even know what makes me happy, Let alone how to find it.

Thank you. I just find out I have a depression and I tried to do what others tell me to do but I doesn't work. I just think I don't have energy to do anything. But I think I liked watching about my psychology before. It can help me right now. I mean I lack perspective and feel I am alone, so I'm going to watch how other people dealt with depression. Thank you for this helpful advice

Thanks. I'm getting out of bed now (#2) Will Also do #3. Already doing #1

I'm in a relationship with someone with depression ... she constantly beats herself up, compares herself to others in terms of her looks, level of success, etc , constantlyputting herself down and I feel helpless not being able to help, even though I realized its not my fight, and I can only be the support in her corner. In terms of therapeutic help, how can I make her feel better and change her perspective .. I really can't bear to see her put herself down and not give herself credit for how far she's come and who she is. Thank you!

How many that are beating themselves up came from a family who did this to them. Such as, "just smarten up, stop feeling sorry for yourself, oh poor you, nobody loves you(said with sarcasm), hope you know how much trouble you are causing, do you need to be in a "nut house",. When a depressed person grows up with and continues into adulthood to get this kind of emotional abuse, is it any wonder they also attack themselves?

I was struggling with depression a few months back and someone came to talk to me about it and I snapped out of it...because the person made me know he had experienced something similar and had gotten out of it and that I should not waste off...that started my healing...I didn't even know what depression was then

Thanks so much Julia, you are helping me. I just did your 10 minute mindfulness exercise and it was great!

I watched your video for the first time and it was very helpful. Thanks.

Africa. Losing someone from suicide.

U are really helping me help the people in my life get through depression, thank you

Thank you for great tips! 😁👍🏻this do help a lot when you have a loved one express support in this way 😁😍 You totally get it ✌ I had a familymember tell me that she was looking forward to her vacation and was happy that she didn't have to deal with more issues at work in this period and asked me if I felt the same way? I was like, No! It's not the same for me, bc I deal with this grief, anxiety and depression on a daily basis. This is the aftermath of childhood trauma, abuse and neglect, and I grieve the loss of bond/connection /relationship to my family 😥 (some days/periods are better and some are worse) So I felt like she did not understand me 😔 she said, I know this is not who you are, when I shared with her that I struggled with suicidale thoughts and felt hopeless. She also said she belived in me, so that was positive, but I could not receive this bc of what she wrote first in the text. So if I don't feel that my loved one understands me, I feel it's hard to receive any support from them. Can anyone relate? ❤

Thank you soooo much for these videos on depression. My fiancé goes thru depression and sometimes I get short with him because idk how to handle it at times But your videos gave me TONS of help. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you

Just kinda surfing RU-vid and saw, not sure which video of yours first, but am now subscribed. I do all of the donts you say can be harmful. I do them so well, THEY have become an unconscious thought. Always the negative talk. I guess I practised it so much and did it so well, it is my compus. I guess if I want to change it, I just have to really practice being kind to myself, forgiving myself, putting other words in there. It IS hard. But if you dont practised the guitar you cant just pick it up and play it. And if you can muster up the 3 most common notes, you are by no means a master, to get better, go further, be a master you have to practice. So do you with the negative self talk and other things with your mental health. Thank you for your perspective and making and putting these videos for free on RU-vid. I do believe I'll be watching all of them, probably more than once.

hi, thank you for your videos about depression. I heard that my significant other underwent depression. i didnt know it was a really big thing. he moved away, and he stopped responding to all my messages and calls.. i thought he doesnt like me any more , it's been going on for a week now. and i kinda broke it off with him. but part of me just dont want to end it that way.. cause I really love him. but it felt like i've been putting too much pressure on him. so even if i broke it off with him .. I still wanted to make him feel better and your other videos about depression helped me know what he's going through and it made me feel loved by him in a way. Thank you for letting us know.

this was helpful to me. Thanks

Im having trouble getting myself to get out and do things. I dont even know what to do. Go for a walk? Fine, but it doesnt accomplish anything and then im back home with the same problems.

Well my sister gave this to me, and I'm glad she did....its one thing knowing what you should NOT do but having someone reminding you and telling you in better detail and such that is much better than a kick in the pants XDThank you so much for this.

Thank you for your videos! I have recently found you here on RU-vid. Can you please make a video on tips to help with feeling and being overwhelmed with to-do lists and with what is going on in the world(politics).

I must realy say thank you because i have a sister that i feel is struggling with depression even tho she dont know. So i tried getting to better known with her but i got a little scared but after watching your video it helped me a lot.

Really good advice. Lovely person ☺️

Your videos speak volumes to those in need...thank you for the way you share and present this valuable insight.

I decided I was just going to do it whether I was enjoying it or miserable and I wasn't going to quit. After just doing it and being miserable I realized I could be feeling good because I am doing what I want.

Such good content. Thank you!!

i think you're really amazing. Thank you for this channel i feel much more alone. i lost my health insurance so i can't go to therapy at this current time but your videos make me feel very helpful and i find them very useful:) ❤️

Its so comforting to hear you. Thanks a lot :)

Thanks for teaching me more depressing stuff

Thank you for your channel and your videos! You're lovely and full of great advice.

The Great Cheeto is a huge ding dong! Lol, sorry but I found the cheetos and ding dongs part really funny!

Thank You! I just discovered your channel. You are great. I wish you were my therapist.

my partner ask for leave him . and breaks our relationship .. i nearly said yes because of the frustrated .. but i saw ur video and it change my mind . i think he just need love and support from me .. i hope i can do the best for him ..

Thought I was over it but circumstances seem to have brought it back slowly but surely and am now back on meds. I don't feel like doing what I used to because I am older now and need to find something different and tell myself it is a waste of time. So I do more productive things like paint the house or gardening and landscaping but this has not seemed to help much. Then there are the long gray rainy days and my struggle to quit smoking and being an introvert makes it harder to get out but I will take your advice and just do it. Thanks.

I’ve tried so hard to beat this depression

Brought me to tears - thank you :)

I was broken up with long distance. One month fast forward I made my own plans for this whole month in London which was meant to be spent with him, I reached out only informing I'm there n hope to hear how he's doing. He asked me out. (After no contact for a month). Now I'm offered to stay his place as he asked if I'm uncomfortable couchsurfing with strangers. I didn't say yes at first n told him I'll only stay a week. We r somehow in seperate rooms but still hanging out. I've been told he didn't want this to end (before he asked me out). He's slightly depressed since the break. I'm trying to regain that connection but I can't even touch him or be intimately emotionally connected n we r going to hang out today because of my suggestion of a new place. What do u think

Julia Kristina thank you for all your good advice. It's practical and helpful. I do have a question: is it a good thing to work on old trauma's while your in a very demanding and stressful situation? Or is it better to pay attention to the crap your in right now, first, and deal later with the crap from the past?

Struggling so badly the end is looming for me to escape this shitty existance

I struggle most with what I call 'starts and stops'. I'll manage to force myself to do one thing I'm not jazzed about doing, but do it anyway, however, the next thing comes along, and I just don't want to at all. It feels like yet another failure to attain momentum, and I sink deeper. I get that we should do things we don't want to, but I'm not sure how to consistently force myself to do them, when in the moment it's so much more relieving and satisfying NOT to do them, even tho I know I'll be sad in the future I didn't.

Hi Dr. Julia, I am wondering what do you do when you long to get out and you're so tired and dizzy... I've been in the bed for almost a month with anxiety and they think I may have a bit of depression

Thanks, now I know what to do more!

Self compassion 🤗

I do that. In the evening I get weary and then slip into depression and beat myself up. If I get a good night's sleep, the next morning I feel much better. "His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning." Lamentations 3:21-22.

I can't stay focused in this video 😭

So, how do you get someone to do things they love when they are struggling with depression? I dont understand. There has to be a good way to help your s/o to get up and out without making them feel bad about it. Especially if they refuse or cant afford a therapist to tell them that.

Very helpful thank you

will sending this video to someone who might have depression might make them angry or more depressed?

Thank you much

Hi! I’m liking these videos. Can’t find the links in the comments for additional information.

Find ur videos really helpful. M suffering from anxiety n depression. Try to follow ur suggestions. Thnx

Even though it dosn't make sense it still works. Cutting dosn't make sense but it still works.

What can I do if he has suicidal thoughts already? It scares me plus he's working and away from me.

Great video. Do you think it would be helpful if I forward it to a friend, dealing with the problem?

Please I hope u can help me. I am 50yrs old and I have struggled with depression and Anxiety my whole life. The problem is I NeverI FEEL ANY OTHER FEELING. i j Just feel. FLAT in all situations. I also feel liit is like ke there is Anything is going on in my brain is.feels Ihallow. I am basicallexisting I am not living. I have a great Therapist and take meds. I still feel the same. I used to be diagnosised with dysthymia. Nothing brings me joy. Except my kids. I have goals but I never just feel pure JOY!! ANY SUGGESTIONS????

Love your massage

This is a great video 👍

Explain this to me ...I ever deal with a depressed person,i don't understand & it's Exhausting!!! My bf has depression and we dated for 18 years & still...He lefted me,but,stays in contact....He's fed up.with everything.He's staying n a room... He said he hates himself & he goes to his family,where the incident happened & he's even more angry & idk what to do or how to help him.....I'm worried about him....Do you have any suggestions....Please get back & let me know......I appreciate it & Thank you...Have a good day.😊

helpful video thank you

but its hard... :'( its been over a year and lts so hard to go further with my day. I've never felt so low, and so pathetic. useless.

some powerful reminders.

Thank you

Yay my hero

Hi Ms. Julia Kristina, do you think I can get a psych in Dubai? any recommendation? thanks.

You are a champ lady..

Why is the person who helps the person with depression always getting attack from the person dealing with depression when I’m trying my best too help my wife but she just keeps attacking and blaming me for everything what do I do because I saw how many videos say don’t take it personal but it’s hard especially when it’s coming from ur wife...and then I can’t tell her anything about my problems because it’s just adds on. Too whatever she going through and will only set her back more but I have too hold everything. In because that’s the best thing too do and I’m asking anybody is it the right things too hold everything in because I feel like it makes me worse and at the end of if it all the person who’s helping the person with depression is more woes coming out lmk what I guys think plz I need some advice or answers too this?

Thx ur very good.

You share great videos, thank you, How can I help a love one who is depressed and not eating and losing a lot of weight plus doesn't talk or say almost nothing?

Hello Ma'am, Ma'am my Best friend has depression in the entire world only 2 people know this one is me and the doctor... how can i help him.... or is there anything i can suggest him???

Good info 👍👍👍👍👍

My girlfriend is doing all of these, she's shoving herself off and I'm the only person she talks to because she doesn't feel comfortable talking to anyone else. She denies anything I try doing and I've watched both of your other videos and now I'm coming up dry. I fear she might just ignore this if I sent it to her since she thinks this depression is who she is. Is there anything else I can do?

Hi, I am from india and I am unable to access your website. How can I join your group and get help?

nice advice

Great!

Could I get advice bc I hate being happy I'm addicted to being depressed

"To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost." --Gustave Flaubert

What’s next when even trying becomes too much...

May I say Julia that I admire you for having the courage to describe it all for what it is: CRAP!

comfortable humor

I don’t know if you’ve done this type of video or not but um eating disorders

It's my request you to join Quora.... People need you there including me

Is there any way for me to contact you personally? I mean through email.

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

If we keep wearing these masks MY DEPRESSION WILL NOT LEAVE ME