You know what’s weird? That people see cute cupcake dresses with ruffles and kittens and IMMEDIATELY think about SA or CSA. Yes, Lolita is a weird fashion, it’s flashy, tacky, campy, and unbearably cute. It’s CLOTHES first and foremost. If people see a kid in cute clothes and think anything seggsual, they’re the WEIRD weird one.
@@CloverCatthe way that i think of it (and i hope this helps) is that everyone tends to read clothing as a statement of “this is what i think will get me laid,” whereas lolita is explicitly stating “i’m wearing this because i do not think it will get me laid at all.” i think it helps to explain that the POINT of the fashion is to be non-sexual (like how no one in their right mind should b attracted to a child). with that said, ppl are still gonna believe what they’re gonna believe. with my mom, it helped her to see me wear it and hear me talking about what i liked about it, and she realized it was Just Cute lol
"Cute clothes does not equal young" WHEN I TELL YOU THIS GETS TO ME! I'm a designer and I've heard so many times, "Do you design kids clothes?" NO I DONT 😭 adults can wear color! Adults can be cute! Im tired of it
Instead of struggling through explaining the fashion in a good light as a babylita, I put on kamikaze girls on for my mom. I don't think she loved it or anything, but it did help her understand what the fashion is about a lot better afterwards. She loves my coords and I'm really lucky to have her supporting me.
I've never made my mom sit through kamikaze girls, I doubt she would agree to anyway. But if she agreed to see it I think there are just so many references and things in the film that require some understanding of the culture and the era to be even halfway understood. She would get so stuck on not understanding some of the details that she probably couldn't focus on the overarching themes.
my dad once mixed up words and called it hentai fashion 😭 but i think he understands that lolita fashion is intended to be non-sexual and he's pretty supportive of me wearing jfashion in general. i think he kinda just doesn't care that much, he never really comments on my appearance unless i ask how i look and that's honest how i prefer it to be.
I'm LOVING the "I'm eccentric" reason, that's so wonderful and I'm definitely adding it to my lexicon lol My go-to is "I really just felt like dressing up today"; it's taken surprisingly well. I still remember a really nice woman going "Huh. That's a great reason. Why are my friends and I so boring? We should dress up too and make a day of it as well!". We had a great convo for a few minutes before she went on her way haha
I've answered "I just felt like it!" to that question so many times, and it's always a delight, especially when the question comes from older people. They usually light up, as if it suddenly makes complete sense to them that one can just dress how they feel like without needing a reason. It's freeing.
11:16 the way my jaw DROPPED at “women have worked very hard for their dignity” as if lolita is undoing that work, as opposed to that work being undone by people who see a feminine outfit and think “what a disgrace!” i’ve had to realize that ppl don’t think i’m frivolous bc i like fashion, they think fashion is frivolous bc women like it. if u think women being traditionally feminine is bad, then you’re buying into the idea that femininity in itself is bad, and you need to take a long, hard look at your idea of “feminism.”
@@Othillde okay but “frivolous” doesn’t just mean not necessary, it specifically has a negative connotation. like, my dad does rock climbing, which is not necessary for survival, and yet no one calls that a frivolous hobby. same with most sports. most hobbies only have the purpose of making someone happy, without any additional benefit, and yet i’ve never heard anyone call a masculine hobby frivolous. even ones that require spending lots of money (for example, my dad’s rock gym memberships, his trips to the mountains, and his many, many pieces of gear) aren’t called frivolous. meanwhile, things like makeup and fashion are constantly called that. if you can think of a better reason for that categorization than misogyny, please let me know. tl;dr, i’m not saying fashion is essential, just that people are more likely to put you down for spending money on it than they are for spending money on other (more “masculine”) hobbies that are just as nonessential.
I am so sorry that a family member of yours ever decided to hand you this letter. That's most unfortunate, I hope they have seen the error of their ways by now. That must've been the most frustrating thing ever to deal with.
I spent 12 years in retail. I barely made enough to get by. My clothing budget had to go to work cloths. So for so long The only way I felt I could express myself was with t-shirts and trinkets. Then I started working in a library. It took me a few more years to figure out my personal style since I still had it into my head that I needed to "dress my age". I almost fell into the leggings and tunic rut just because it was what I noticed other children's librarians were wearing. Finding Tyler's videos, your videos, and The Stitchess 's videos basically hog tied that notion and threw it in the landfill. I started to discover that a lot of my standby outfits were disguises. Furthermore my small town seems to just not care what I wear. I have occasionally gotten the "why are you so fancy" comment but that's even when I wear my every day wardrobe. My typical comebacks are "It's just clothes." "Everybody does casual friday, I'm going for a frilly/freaky/fun friday"(sometimes all three if I'm in a gothic coord) "why not?". But again, rarely does anyone actually say anything. When they do it's usually a mixture of confusion and joy. I wore nothing but Lolita to a library conference last year. Everyone was so kind when they asked the usual curious questions, because library workers are the best. Everyone was floored that I wore a regular dress to an awards dinner so that made me giggle. I guess TLDR Lolita helped me get to my final form and I am forever grateful.
That part where you said that things will always be sexualized regardless is so true!! I've been saying this for ages but people will still continue to victim blame, they blame the people being sexualized against their consent instead of the perpetrators and it's just so disgusting. This was brought up in a different video of a popular video essay youtuber where she rants about young conventionally attractive girls in alt or flashy clothes dancing on Tiktok and I was just so disappointed and appalled that people see the need to blame young girls or women in general for expressing themselves and having fun. She said that they were feeding into the male gaze and it's just. ugh... Yes it's a problem on Tiktok that they promote young conventionally attractive skinny white girls over anything but you can say that without blaming the girls for just being themselves.
Dang I really just feel sad for that family member sending you that letter. They spent a whole lotta time and words to say basically NOTHING, that's depressing for them😭might as well have just saved their energy
One counter-argument I thought of for the whole “Lolita fashion = Nabakov’s Lolita” is that in Japanese, ‘Lolita’ as in the fashion is actually spelled using different katakana than ‘lolita’ as in, well, lolicon. And my second point: just because two things have very similar names doesnt necessarily mean they’re related to one another. For example, my dad writes computer code for a living so I could compare it to Java and JavaScript. Both have ‘Java’ in the name, but according to him the two languages have almost nothing in common.
Usually I compare lolita fashion to other alternative fashions, like goth, punk, etc. as some goth or punk outfits can be just as over the top as lolita. Also love the infantilization part of the letter (sarcasm). I get infantilized and body shamed a lot for just existing as someone with stunted growth, so when I get it even more for wearing lolita I am sort of used to it. But it's still disgusting and shaming people for their body and/or clothing choices. Also the whole "wah women fought for pants" shit pisses me off so much. They fought for the right to choose, which should extend to all. But it seems like instead of letting everyone choose, they just want to ban skirts entirely because "can't have men and nb people in skirts, oh the horror!!!" but then if men and nb can't wear them, only women, guess that means they must be evil. Everyone should be allowed to choose between dresses and skirts and pants. And should be allowed to be hyperfem in ways they like. Whether it's the over the top pink bimbo style or a more modest version like lolita, or an inbetween like some old kindergoth looks, anyone of any gender should be allowed to dress how they want. If someone gets a hard on from it, it's their problem. And the way the letter focuses so much on women being abused by men shows how narrowly these people view gender roles. Cis women aren't the only ones who are victims of unwanted sexualization and SA and men are not the only perpetrators. Part of why you see a lot of feminine men in some lolita spaces is because it's a space where men can be feminine without people viewing it as inherently a kink, as for most men, showing just the slightest bit of femininity is taken as shoving a kink in public rather than a form of self expression. And this does extend to trans men who are somewhat passing, stealth as trans or out as trans online. A lot of feminine men, femboys, drag queens, otokonoko and trans women who are mistaken for crossdressing men have had so many instances of being sexually assaulted (by both men and women) who view their gender expression as an invitation for sex because "men being feminine must be a kink". This makes some be uncomfortable with "sexy" or revealing styles because of fear of unwanted sexualization and fetishization, which makes lolita a style a lot go for as it's hyperfem but modest.
My mom is so supportive of me being a lolita. She buys me little accessories once in a while that remind her of the dresses I have. So thoughtful of her. And she posts some of my coord photos on her Facebook. ❤
I’m a trans man. When I started getting into lolita fashion (always been super interested in fashion in general), my mom and many others started questioning my gender, saying things like “oh you like wearing dresses, you’re not really a trans man then” or “are you sure you want this? You won’t be able to wear dresses when you transition”
my favorite response to that kind of thinking is “if you see a man wearing a dress, you probably think ‘that’s a man in a dress.’ why should i be thought of any different?”
@@plushdragonteddy I understand the confusion because nowadays there is a push that when we see a man in a dress we should assume that person is probably a trans woman. People still have trouble understanding that sexual orientation and gender identity are two different things. They'll have a lot more problem understanding that gender identity and expression don't need to match up either.
@@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118 yeah i guess that’s fair. i suppose my thought process is more helpful for people like me, who already understand the difference (as a genderqueer afab person who wears dresses lol), than it is for people who don’t.
I'm lucky that lolita is a common name in my family, so the Nabokov book is never brought up, but that doesn't change they fucking hate it still (bfs mom think its satanic too lmaoo
I'm 41, and I can definately attest to the friends thing. If I didn't go off into my eccentric, "weird" interests after high school, I'm not sure where I'd be now. My friend circles are made up of anime con people, many that I've known for 15 years or more. I'm always meeting new people in the fashion and through my interests. Also, as you get older, I feel like the opportunities to dress up, or to present yourself in a way that makes you feel cute, beautiful, confident (insert any positive adjective here) become far and few. It's like you get so far into the daily grind, and if you have children, they become your life. To be able to do something for yourself, by yourself or with friends of your own choosing is immensely important. It's not my job to educate people, or try to explain myself to anyone. I am who I am, and I wear what I want. I do find ways to explain it that is quick and to the point for curious strangers. Though most of my recent encounters have been the usual "bo peep" stuff (some actually freaking hillarious). But then again, I'm also older and aside from a few family members, I've cut off most of my judgemental family and pick the people who are supportive. Overall, it's not MY fault someone thinks what I'm wearing could be concieved as something it's not. That sounds like a personal problem and I am not a therapist. I feel like if you are younger, especially depending on other adults for food, shelter and all of that, you might need to. But as one gets older, you don't really NEED to. If there's anything I've learned from being the werid kid who always tried too hard to fit in, it's that it's pointless and draining. The world is a parking lot of grey, white, and black cars, be the neon pink car covered in decals. Be bold, stand out, be confident in being who you are in the moment, and be unapologetic about it.
You made some really great points! I love that lolita fashion helps me not feel so scared of getting older, because I can still have fun and express myself just like I can as a young person!
@@katiegoldberg4362 You don't have to give up expressing yourself when you get older. There's this false notion we all have (hell, I had it) that once you hit a certian age, you're required to give up anything society deems as "for youth" and take on different "appropriate" hobbies and interests. That doesn't happen. You don't wake up one day and decide "well, I'm now this specific age, time to sell my wardrobe and only purchase clothes from the misses section." I think the only thing that really happens when you get older is caring less and less about what people think of you, and having the paitience to put with things you used to. It's also really hard to tell someone's age most of the time. Its your business if you want to disclose it or not. When it comes to lolita, your tastes and aesthetics do not have to change either. I think I have seen a shift recently with liking more old school BTSSB and florals. I've been adding some IW pieces as well. They're easier for me to wear on the regular. But I still love 2010 AP OTT sweet and don't plan on parting with my grails from that era.
As a 30-something still new-ish lolita, I limit my wearing of the fashion to special occasions and conventions. Have I ever worn my dresses around family? Once or twice, but I have been into vintage fashion for a few decades now, so it didn’t really phase them much. They are my “crazy pinafore dresses” as I lovingly call them and I am thankful that I have the opportunity to participate in something unique.
If a family member sent a letter like that to me, they would not be my family member anymore! There was such a deep revulsion and rejection in that letter it was absolutely disgusting.
I never tell them the name of the fashion. They don't need to know the name as it doesn't really make a difference. If they ask what i am wear I just tell them its Japanese and that satisfies them.
For me the biggest hurdle isnt actually the fashion itself, which my family is for the most part cool with (though they do find it a bit odd), but gender. Im a trans guy who happens to also enjoy wearing lolita, because I like to be cute, just in a Guy kinda way! Im not someone who passes particularly well at this point of my life, which really doesnt help... So people sometimes get confused by the logic there Ive mostly gotten comments from my mom about it being "weird" that Im transitioning but still want to wear such a cutesy feminine style. Shes particularly hung up on the idea that it would be ~strange~ if i grew a beard once i go on T but still wore this style. Ive told her that plenty of men, both cis and trans, wear the fashion- but then she always switches the speech up to be about how she doesnt want me to get hurt by someone if I look too much like a guy in a cute dress. Which is fair enough, Im also somewhat apprehensive about that once i go on T and start to look more masculine, but then again... Doesnt mean I should limit myself for the sake of bigots! Nor does that make it ok to tell me that she finds my fashion choices to be 'incoherent' when it comes to my gender, as if I ever asked for her opinion. I suppose these are issues less specific to lolita as a general rule, and more so to gender-nonconformity, especially with regards to being both GNC and trans, but i thought it might be an interesting aspect of my own experience with lolita i could share! Im fairly new to actually dressing the part, though Ive been interested in it for much longer, but so far the community Ive met around me has been very very kind about gendering me correctly, its quite honestly been a breath of fresh air!
Omg same! I'm a trans guy/trans masc, and my main hurdle (on top of having no place appropriately fancy to go/anyone to dress up with me) is gender dysphoria! I have multiple dresses & coords, but I already get misgendered so much, even by some of my family, that I just don't feel comfortable going out like that. Thankfully my parents & siblings are super accepting of my alternative and GNC style(s), but yeah ~gender~ makes things difficult... Edit: I'm glad you've found the community accepting! I've not yet tried to find a local Lolita community, but I probably should. I always hear good things about them!
@Lars Short aaaah i feel you... ive already gotten top surgery amd have a first appointment regarding T in july so i dont personally struggle with much dysphoria atp (ive somewhat accepted that i dont really pass well for now, and my family and friends do generally manage to gender me correctly way). I hope you can get to a place where you feel more comfortable wearing lolita in public! As for community, im lucky to live in a place where theres a surprisingly active lolita community, so joining in hasnt been too hard. I really do encourage you to try and meet with some people at some point because its incredibly fun!
“more grown-up women dressing up as fourteen year olds in my mind makes them seem like objects of desire” Okay even before addressing how wrong the “dressing like a fourteen year old” statement is, the fact that this person thinks that looking like a fourteen year old makes girls look more desirable is a little… um….
Wowza that letter was wild. That person was majorly projecting. I am sorry that being yourself was met by someone so far down a repressed path that they lashed out like that. 😢
My grandma (93 yr) supported me wearing this fashion while she was still alive she said it was cool and modest instead of showing skins and wearing inappropriately in the public 😬 The nastiest comment I had from a random stranger was about my size (plus size), my age and asked why did i dress like a kid? My reply to him, execuse me? Did he sponcer me or buy me the dress I'm wearing ? If no, would appreciate that he look after himself instead of poking his nose into my fashion and it is none of his business how I dress, i only please myself and not others I like how I look.
16:44 I recently learned how marginalized or intentionally alternative groups often feel the need to police themselves excessively, because we're already receiving so much hate from the outside. We want to seem "blameless" and "perfectly normal, otherwise" to (sometimes dangerous) critics looking in, to protect ourselves. I think this might have contributed to the elitism in our community, especially outside of Japan. 😓
It’s so wild to me that people give lolitas such a hard time. My mom is confused, thinks it’s weird and childish, but she’s not going to stop me from wearing it. Maybe because I’m 30 and it’s clear that these frilly dresses are not a phase lol. But the rest of my family likes it. I’m talking black religious family. My grandma will buy random cute bows she’s sees. My auntie will get me cute weird clothes. Nothing lolita, they don’t know what that is and I’ve never had to explain it to them. They see me happy in frills so they accepted it. I wear lolita to work almost every day And I walk to work so the whole neighborhood just knows me as the cute girl in cute clothes. Multiple customers at my job tell me that they come in just to see what I’m wearing. I’ve only met 1 person in 3 years of being out in public in lolita that didn’t like it. I hope the rest of the world gets as open as my town!
My parents are really weird lol (I support myself financially/work but I still live with them for now) because every time I excitedly show them the dress/es I bought they just roll their eyes and say that I'm just wasting my money, that clothes lose value over time, that this hobby doesn't generate money or will get me nowhere and yadda yadda, but when new dresses do arrive and I try them on they admit that I look good, that they're pretty, and that I have a good taste (I lean more towards classic and military lolita, the few sweet dresses I have are all bunny prints but kinda discrete/not too out there/more casual-looking) and that they're happy it makes me happy to wear them, but that it's basically a pointless hobby. It discourages me a bit because every time I think they've accepted it a bit more, I realize they haven't lol. Yes, I know people will stare or even laugh at me, I don't care, that won't deter me to wear the only clothes that make me feel beautiful and make me happy. I live in a country where a lot of femicides happen so yeah I get why my parents worry or don't want me to be too out there but I'm always careful, never wear it if I know I'm going to a risky place or in public transport, unless it's a veryyy toned down/casual coord, usually in black, military or gothic, or if I'm driving to where I'm going, and almost always have a jacket or sweater or coat on top to blend a bit more on the way. Sorry you had to go through that, it gets tiring, I also have some very judgemental family members so I never wear it around them, they just wouldn't listen, would make fun of me, would call me immature and to "dress my age", etc so I spare the effort to even try when I have to be around them. Sorry for the long rant, the video was too relatable for me and kinda cathartic in a way 😅.
My family definitely thinks it’s weird, but I’ve always had offbeat hobbies. At this point they just accept they won’t get why I do the things I do and just lightly poke fun at me lol. I actually love their reactions when they see what I’m wearing out in public or to a convention 😂
We aren't trying to look like kids lol and even if we were, why does everyone assume/jump to the conclusion that it's sexual? Why does in their mind "looking like young child" automatically make people think "sex?" or "sexualized" like.... for real.... Honestly it says a ton about the person making those assumptions. We just want to wear frilly clothes and be cute with our friends. uwu
I'm glad most of my family supports my endeavors in lolita fashion (prolly except my oldest brother since he's so entrenched in toxic masculinity to the point he makes fun of anything he considers feminine) albeit I try to not call it lolita whenever possible since I still remember my mom going "Is that a Jeffrey Epstein thing?" 😭
How about dressing in Lolita as a minor? I tried to explain to my family but they will never let me wear sweet lolita (they are fine with classical because it looks more historical) because they dont want me to be sexualised. My mom keeps asking me, why are you into such childish things? Why do you like these things? But its really difficult to dress as a minor. I've always wanted to wear the fashion though, for about 3 years.
@kottelki Thanks for the suggestions! I would like to go to meetups or something though where it is more accepted, my school is very friendly so I can wear (sort of) classical lolita on special occasions. However, I think if i were to just wear sweet lolita ever people would just automatically assume the worst, or at least adults would. Maybe I can go to an anime con or something wearing sweet lolita, I'm not sure. For now I wear lolita inspired outfits until I'm allowed to actually get a lolita dress.
If you want to go to a con it would be better if you found a community that would also go becouse there are creeps in there (not cause of lolita cosplayers also have this problem)
My advice would be to slowly implement the style over time. Try styling a lolita blouse with a normie skirt or pants. Then try wearing it more with accessories that are lolita but still normie enough to pass (ie, barettes, berets, non print socks, brooches, etc). if you feel brave enough, you can try wearing jsks but with the rest of the coord more toned down (no petti, simple hairstyle, less accessories, maybe with cute sneakers).
Great video! I am so with you on those rants omg. Tho I won't lie I straight up just call lolita fashion my "fancy dresses" when i refer to them bc my mom absolutely would not care if i did decide to give her more detail, she just thinks they're pretty. (Though I'm a "got interested in it around age 14 but didn't wear it until 25, now 27" situation so 乁[ ◕ ᴥ ◕ ]ㄏ )
I have long been interested in lolita from a distance on and off - since livejournal! - and at this point I doubt anyone in my personal life who would see me in lolita if I were to get into the fashion would bat an eye given my current and former fashion. I just don't know if I would actually ever get into the fashion beyond consuming content at this point in my life though as due to health concerns, I rarely go out in my "nice" clothes anymore, and I don't really go to events with large crowds anymore, so creators like you allow me to live vicariously in some small way!
I don’t dress in the Lolita fashion, but I think that this does hold some good points no matter that you’re wearing. I love how the fashion looks and I admire people for wearing it, but I could never do it myself for a number of reasons. Not cause of people, cause of me haha. I like to say,” Be true to you!” I hope (maybe) to create a clothing brand that has that as a motto and a good motive. To anyone reading this, have a great day and be who you want to be!
I Ever Saw a Bilibili video about a mother and daughter that dresses in Lolita while hangout in shopping mall Gosh ! I'm Jealous to have Supportive Parents where i can dress in any alternative fashion Without getting any judgey reaction Sorry if i being too Outspoken bout this
The very ending line had me cackling! Great video! Thankfully, one of my parents has always been supportive of my weird fashion choices and hobbies, and the other parents opinion I care so little about I won’t even bother explaining it to them lol
Amazing Video! I think your views are very smart and healthy. You also make a very good job communicating and explaining them. I learn much from your videos and have lot's of fun on the way.☺️ Thank you for making content and sharing your experiences with us! Your outfits in this Video are both super pretty!
11:43 as a 14 year old I’ve never seen anyone my age wear something that looks like Lolita most of us mostly wear “normal clothes” idk why people think like this lmao
Well done. I dress in a casual, slightly goth way and want to wear goth lolita dresses. I may be 30 years old now, but I'm autistic. I live with my sister and her partner whom I am financially dependent on. Back when I was in college, I asked my sister to buy me a goth lolita dress, and though she seemed willing to get the dress for me, she also felt that it was not appropriate for everyday occasions. In the end, my sister did not get me that dress. When I get clothes, I prefer to get ones that I feel certain I can wear regularly, and I'm concerned that I won't be able to wear goth lolita dresses as often as my other clothes. Knowing that my sister has her expectations for me, I don't feel entirely comfortable exploring certain interests, including my interest in lolita fashion. I think I will have to wait until I gain more financial independence, before getting my first lolita dress.
For me the style is my expression of punk, it's clothing that you cherish and keep with you for a long time and it also fits my stubborn personality, it just feels great to wear an outfit that you love every piece of anytime you want. We also forget to mention that the Japanese public chose the name, the same way punks and goths had their names chosen for them. Punk is also a very loaded word historically, but in America it's softened due to the popularity of the punk movement, I'm certain attitudes are similar in Japan 😂
I like all the frills and ruffles though I dress Gothic Lolita. Always been alternative so I didn’t have too much to explain especially when I am making my dresses. But on a more important note what is the purple dress like brand and style? I would love to buy one or use it as inspiration for my next dress.
My mom saw a headband with cat/dog ears (can't remember) and thought it was a k*nk thing. She tends to think that a lot of animal things have to do with some sort of k*nk. Needless to say, trying to get my mom to understand certain elements of lolita was hard.
I was just thinking about this the other day- there’s also the fact that the book names is “Lolita” because it’s an official nickname for Dolores, and existed long before the book.
I'm not lolita but I do have some eccentric fashion and life interests. I wanted to say that this was a very articulated and well-thought out discussion of topics relevant to those outside the lolita community as well.
I really can not understand how certain people (mostly of older generations in my experience) equate hyper femininity to trying to "act younger" or "present younger". I don't get it.
One thing I keep saying to people. I guess unless your a 90's/2000's kid. Rules of the Internet. For anything and everything. Theirs a porn of it. Anything and everything can be sexualized. Doesn't matter what it is. People are going to be gross and disgusting. Let people enjoy their hobbies and themselves. I love you Lovely Lor and your Lolita friends. Its a shame that in 2023 we still have to explain and deal with the same redundant shit.. All it proves to me that people and society love being stupid and blissfully ignorant.
I hate the why are you dress like this question . It's really stupid. Like why are you wearing ripped clothing? Because you felt like it right? There is your answer/
How misunderstood can Lolita be by the general public? My example: I told my mother about this style, that it is modest, charming, that you wear dresses. She just warned me not to wear "provocative, slutty things." I totally didn't understand it. I had stressed to her earlier that this fashion isn't about showing off the body or anything like that, so I asked, "What kind of slutty things specifically?" She said, "some ruffles, lace." What???? How bitchy or provocative is this? 😭🙈 Even my mom wears leggins shorter dresses etc. People who don't know Lolita fashion can be ultra hypocrytical 🙄 I thought that at least bodycorn dresses that are worn by many typical girls are more criticized, because it's something you can really see on prostitutes, bit no. Laces, ruffles and cupcakes are more controversial 😵💩
I like lolita because my style is legit cutesy, kawaii; HAPPY. It makes me effin happy! And that should be good enough. I also like lolita because its just me… cant spell lolita without I. Heh. Ill leave now lol
My Mom is 50 50 about this style , Not Really Against it but Not Really Liking it too but she know that i love this style My Youngest Sister and My Dad Doesn’t Like the Style But one of My aunt is quite supportive to me that liking this Style **Facepalm** So Complicated I know You can’t teach old dogs a new tricks ....... but thanks for this heavier hitting topic Personally, i would like about video how to keep your friendship when your friends decided to leave the frills for certain reasons in order to pursuing certain priority \ new hobby \ new style , Sorry if its sounds weird
so we have a horrible trend of men se*ualizing something that is not supposed to be seen an se*ual, and we fight it with...seeing it as se*ual? ._. also the "you dress like little girls" arguement makes me laugh cuz I want to know what kind of place they live in where children wear lolita
the biggest question I get is about how it reconciles with my gender (bc I'm transmasc and /clearly/ therefore anything gender non-conforming invalidates that 😒)
I have a couple videos that sort of address this but not dedicated to the idea. In short, it's art theft and usually replicas are actually more expensive and lesser quality than say actual lolita like buying second hand from closetchild / lacemarket or places like bodyline. It hurts the original designer / company and is usually poor quality and not an effective use of money. This video might help - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-8Q5KDOT0Y0w.html And this one - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-NAvEMr6KVzg.html
Also you can mention that there is no way that the people who print and sew replicas are getting well paid and have at last some workplace protection. Think about how bad a fake handbag smells- and how the people who madeit breathe in that smell all day every day.
Raine Dragon wrote a good article about it so I suggest you google that. But it comes down to that lolita is a rather niche fashion, the brands are small companies (yes, even AP), and the well being of brands is directly negatively affected by the sale of replicas. It's art theft. You're overpaying for something that is low quality (even compared to modern AP, lel) and could have been manufactured under very shady circumstances.
i wear a maid dress to work and a Bittersweet or Gothic Lolita Coordinate to Friday Dinners. i wear Shiro Lolita to Funerals and Kuro Lolita to Weddings. i don't do it everyday and can only truly afford discounted reproductions.
I am not into lolita fashion, I am just here to look at the cute things and for the commentary, but I am alternative and into fantasy aesthetics. I'm 36. When people bring up how childish it is that I make these things part of my day to day life, and how I need to "grow up and focus on important things," I start bring up real world problems, social justice issues, and environmental crisises in the very intense and passionate way that I feel about them. I start talking about their personal impact and ask what they, themselves, are doing within their own lives and in their own community? Nothing? Interesting, yes, I bet you wish we were talking about dragons and spaceships now, don't you? That's what I thought. It's never been about the way you dress or express yourself, I promise.
As a minor and starting to really get into Lolita, i agree with everything, i want my parents to be involved with all of the events im going to in the future , not only will i feel more safe, its a way to bond with your parents
If Someday i facing a backlash when weirdo stranger thinks i'm a weirdo internet clout by wearing Lolita Fashion Heres my Respond to be : " I'm a RBF and Wearing This Fashion Doesn't Mean I Want to Take Someones Photo Request I Know I Sounded Fu***n Arrogant When I Say This But I'm not a Disneyland Attraction that have to be tailored for someone's entertaiment property I Don't Want to Wasting my Time with You " Sorry For the Strong Language
RU-vid has a list of over 5,000 words that can risk you being demonetized 😢 it can be flagged by bots. I have been wrongfully demonetized before because of misconceptions around lolita fashion and the work I had to go through to protect my channel’s status was A LOT so I’m very careful now. I’m probably a bit overly cautious but I put a lot of work and time into my videos and channel over all I don’t want to risk losing monetization 😢
@@LovelyLor Thankyou so much, for the explanation. I know that you work, real hard, at producing the best vids on our subject and it shows, with every film you make. I did not know the details about RU-vid, censorship and its truly worrying. I have submitted comments that have been immediately deleted before and now, I understand why. Free speech, is no longer free. More power to you, Lor.
I get so annoyed when I explain to my family I would love to buy an actual Lolita piece but they think it's some sort of costume that you wear only at a convention or like I am now creating my own Lolita jsk dress I have my family thinking that I'm creating a costume I am going to wear to Comic-Con because I'm not only going to wear it there I'm going to wear it in other places where I meet up with people who share the same interest as me creating and designing your own Lolita dresses I kind of wish I could share this project that I am creating with you but you can't on here but I am on Instagram if you see the post there we'll be glad to hear your feedback on what you think of the dress so far and I do agree it's hard trying to explain to your family that it's not a costume want to buy certain pieces you a May see your local store but they think it's some sort of costume for Halloween or Comic-Con and you get so annoyed trying to explain to them what it is
27:00 “have you ever looked at clothing from the 18th century and how their bodies fit into it?” yes, i am incredibly guilty of staring at madame de pompadour’s boobs in that one episode of doctor who where she shows up, and i did immediately think of that upon seeing ur coord (in a positive and respectful but also gay way fndnnfnd)
fo the cleavage I thought that this is great and audacious that you dare to include it in your coordinate because when I tried it once I got a remark at a meet-up :(
A lot of people are against it for sure. It's been an unwritten rule for ages (afaik, if anyone has any written sources like the GLB please let me know) that cleavage is a no go for lolita fashion. But on the other hand brands have made dresses that are a bit lower cut and are modeled without a blouse. The reason we don't see cleavage in those brand ads is because the model has a small bust size. That makes it seem like if a person with a small bust does it it's okay, but if a person with a bigger bust does it it's not okay. Which then reminds me of the thing where it's considered seggsual if a girl with a bigger bust wears a tank top, but it's not considered seggsual if a girl with a smaller bust does the same. It's a sexist double standard. And I'm sure someone is going to say "lolita fashion is supposed to be modest" which I understand is a fair point but your body doesn't make you immodest. After being in the fashion and comm on and off since 2003 things like this seem so inconsequential that I would say show that cleavage if you like, rattle your comm mates a little bit 😆
I think it's kind of bananas how much policing goes on in the north american Lolita community. No socks? GASP! Boobs, how very dare you, where is my fainting couch? Like...keep your opinions about how I'm managing to wear my own clothes to yourselves. It's supposed to be a COMMUNITY, let's all help eachother up not tear eachother down.
@@brookeg5979 yes, well actually i live in France and we have (or used to?) have it too, esp around Paris, thankfully the small local ones where i live are cool
@Aurore-Amethyste Australe I agree, it's definitely not just North America. I live in the Netherlands and if I showed cleavage in lolita it would get me at least some disapproving stares.
@Brooke G in Europe lolitas are still concerned about doing lolita the right way/not misrepresenting lolita and that includes feedback to other lolitas as well. Im not sure if it's at the same level that you say north America is at. I've seen plenty of meetup pictures from the US in places where it gets really hot out that suggest those local comms don't care either whether lolitas show cleavage or wear sandals without leg wear. This is as it should be imo, during the summer heat there are also street snaps of Japanese lolitas going blouseless and sockless. I think European comms would either simply not wear lolita during hot weather, or think it's okay to go blouseless and sockless because of the circumstances. It only gets 30C+ for a few weeks per year in my country. It's different in places like Texas.
idk why they don't just change the name at this point to distance themselves from the lolita book, the egl tag exists and is vague enough to include both gothic lolita and not.
I go in detail more in my video about lolita fashion not being like the book but basically the name has already been established by major brands in Japan for over 40 years and it’s enjoyed by the world over yet the English speaking community primarily in North America is the ones with this issue. It’s a bit disrespectful to the brands to make them change over that. Lolita also exists as a name for real people. I think it’s more important to disconnect this one association with the name.🤔
To add on from Lor's reply, its also just a cute name!! We shouldnt have to adjust our history and style's name because people are to ignorant to listen. Additionally, people will always find something to hate. If not the name, they'll still call us pedos or freaks, or call us tacky. There's simply no appeasing ignorance I'm afraid.
