Not sure if this is helpful or not, but as a man the same age as you with body dismorphia, depression, and anxiety I relate immensely to your videos. During a recent down period in my life, I binged all of your videos and found it very therapeutic. I have just recently made a conscious effort to recognize the negative self talk as an one of my many irrational, self-destructive symptoms of depression that are inhibiting my happiness and growth, and for the first time in years I am feeling optimistic about my future. Watching your videos helped me realize this because seeing how you talk about your appearance versus how I and most other people actually percieve you made me reflect on all of the positive affirmations I recieved from people but refused to believe or internalize. Truthfully, you are a beautiful and intelligent woman with the capability to live any kind of life you want. If nothing else, you should be proud of yourself for having the courage to share your experiences and help others. Best of luck to you in finding peace 👍
Dang crook it sucks because you can be the most beautiful person in the world and their will still always be that person that don’t think the same or say something messed up. I’ve been called ugly before, but I got over it in a day and I was like fck em. People deal with that, but it’s up to your mindset to see how it’s gonna affect you. Your mind is powerful and wants to win over you. Don’t let it beat you. Tell your mind “fck you, I ain’t ugly” I mean, there’s 10,000 people in your community that already think you’re pretty. We love you crook, I’m hoping for the best future ever for you bro
not sure if you have put it the right way. mind doesnt want to win anything over you, you are the mind, its not the enemy. due to the bodily condition you are simply having anxious and obsessive thoughts on something. oftentimes its just repetative and anxious thoughts over and over again and you cannot relax your body and calm yourself. this anxiety also can be connected to depression which is another bodily condition which does not let you think clearly and so fourth. however what you think may be important, there are valid reasons for that and you should pay attention to that, this lets you change something for better. also its okay to think that that you or someone is ugly, its simply something that you dont like. sadly with bodies here in this world its not that easy to change some things about it, its limited. there are valid reasons for not being satisfied with your body, in some cases this leads to make some changes such as exercising. in other cases its just what it is. you may find other things to focus on that would be more uplifting you. in this case she or someone like that has to stop body checking in order to get to a better place. simply stop, with determination. just like smoking, one day smoke the next one no more. no more body checking, its a decision you gotta make for yourself to stop feeding this anxiety. and as a result she and others like that will be able to relax and think more clearly
I don't think you should get plastic surgery. Objectively, there is nothing wrong with your face, so if you got it done your body dysmorphia would probably shift to thinking you ruined your face and wanting to go back to your "real" look. Plus, we can all see what happens with celebrities who keep getting plastic surgery when they get older, and it's not good.
I'd love a video of you walking and talking. I also challenge you to talk about 3 things you are grateful for and 3 things you like about yourself (doesn't have to be looks).
I know how you feel, to me it’s like I’m a prisoner of myself I haven’t quite found a way out yet but hopefully I can. Idk how anyone could call you ugly you look truly incredible without even trying and for your videos id like the walks with you talking without your face as long as it helps you I’m perfectly fine with that even though the ones with your face are my fav 😌, I hope it gets better I got faith in ya.
I always seem to come back to your channel. Im glad you feel comfortable sharing your life with us. Ignore the negative comments. You fit the beauty standard, a small nose, big lips, defined cheekbones and jawline. Tell yourself positive things out loud even if you don’t mean it. You are beautiful smart and you seem so nice. Try to stay positive please. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. It’s okay to be afraid. Im not religious so i cant pray for you but i will hope and wish for you.
Insta triggers me with certain girls who I envy. I have to offload it on my phone when I start feeling bad, then I’ll upload it again. That cycle continues.
I really wish I could meet you one day and take you out I mean it, I used to feel like you a lot , and it took me to very dark places, sometimes I still feel like that but I remember that there’s more to life, and life’s too short so just try to ignore that negative voice, you’re not here to please anyone but yourself , trust me there’s lots of guys out there that would love you just the way you are, give yourself a lil more credit because you deserve it, and you deserve to be happy ❤😊🥰
I wish I had the bravery to do videos like this. They have been many times I’ve wanted to express how I feel, without being accused of attention seeking and I don’t know maybe I am a little because I wasn’t a popular child, I didn’t have many friends and if I did the friendships wouldn’t last long anyway. I spent majority of my childhood and teenage life alone. I didn’t have a proper relationship until I was 19 as I struggled putting myself out there as I was so self conscious of my appearance, even now at 30 years old I will actively avoid people I know and try not to bump into them. Just the thought of being called an attention seeker upsets me as why is so bad to want a bit of attention and positive comments for once?
You remind me alot of a girl I once dated (still friends). She looks a lot like you and also has BDD. She was popular at school, was frequently crushed on by guys and looking at her, I could easily see why. Now, I know you prob don't think she sounds like you but here is where it got interesting. The day i confessed and asked her out, we were at a beach event with common friends, everybody had showed up in swimwear, bikini etc. But she had showed up in a long-sleeved summerdress and a big sunhat. At first I thought that was just her own style and she didn't believe me the first few times I said how pretty she was and that I loved her outfit. Couple dates later she tells me of her BDD and then it all made sense. She wanted to be like the bikini girls but didn't think she was hot enough for it, so she covered her body with the dress and the sunhat so she could actually stomach going to the beach with friends without the overwhelming fear of ppl judging her body. She's doing better today but it was so heartbreaking to hear her compare herself to other girls so often and crying over how she could barely stand going out with friends due to fear of judgement. It goes to show the severity of BDD and how much childhood/highschool trauma can ruin someone's selfworth, no matter how beautiful or popular they are. So please know that you are enough, you belong here just as much as anyone and your longing for wanting to feel pretty and confident is completely justified and human.
Is there a reason why you stopped your medication? Maybe you’re experiencing withdrawals? I had a similar experience when I went off my SSRIs. It sucks. I know you don’t see it but you are pretty to me ❤
I totally get where you’re coming from. I was hesitant to start taking them because I also felt I was too ugly and undeserving of the help. It’s the lies that BDD tells us that feel so real. This disorder is a hell that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Hope we both recover from it someday.
I don't think plastic surgery is the solution, not for you anyway. you're very pretty as you are, as you know, your distaste for your appearance comes from within and surgery won't fix that, the only person that can fix it is yourself. don't stop taking your meds. I know the process can last for a long time. I'm 30 and have issues as well and I can uderstand the frustration and the wiol to just give up but you have to be patient and keep trying. You can and you will make it through ! ❤ If you want to avoid showing your face on camera, you could record your self walki'g arou'd in nature, it can be very relaxing even for yourself. Just be careful not to show any landmark that could easily betray where you live
I don’t understand how I look different every day… I don’t think it’s all just in my head, like my eyes and face shape is always changing and I can’t tell what causes these changes. Also I am so tired of putting so much effort in looking the way I want. I feel like if the smallest thing about my makeup or hair isn’t the way it should be it changes the whole appearance.
Sorry to hear about your OCD struggles also, didn't realise that was something you were struggling with also. I have OCD too, it's such a taxing drain on me every day now. The only thing I can do that helps to lift the weight is to just flat-out ignore it and not even let it in at all now.
I'm hideous and I always knew it, got confirmed by multiple strangers who commented on my face as soon as they saw me. I'm just so disgusting looking, though I'm slender and do everything that I could to look normal at least.
@AloraBernadotte Bad enough to have people pointing at me and telling each other how strange I look, my cousins did the same thing and tried hiding it until they couldn't anymore. I didn't think I was that ugly, like I knew I was but not to that extreme. I just stay away from society now. Some people have no idea I even lived in my home, I go out maybe once a year unless emergencies like a doctors appoinment.
mentally, I’m in the same boat as you. dissecting myself and drawing comparisons to other people. I stopped worrying about the way my body looks because my face is the bane of my existence. at this point I think - as silly as it sounds - only a face transplant could save me. that being said, and I wish you could see yourself the way I see you, there’s objectively not a single part of your face that needs plastic surgery
This was a really interesting watch. I'm one of those people who is fairly confident in how I look --- though I used to hate my body so much I barely left the house --- but I can't seem to figure out what I look like. The thing I've come to realize, is that it doesn't matter what I look like, because my opinion of my looks would be one of thousands. Just know, even if you don't see yourself as loveable or attractive, there are others who do. It doesn't matter what you think. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It's just how it is. A good perception matters just as much as a bad perception, and those thoughts are only the result of our limited human experience. Many people feel they can only enjoy certain things if they look a certain way, but it isn't true. Once you get out of your head, you start to enjoy things in a way that I think is so pure. You are nothing more than a being. What you're doing here is great.
I also have face+body dysmorphia. Growing up i would always get called fat and ugly. Ive found out why iam ugly. I mouth breathed and it ruined my facial structure. I know i need jaw surgery because i have breathing issues because of my small jaw and aurway and lack of tongue apace. Im self conscious everyday and it gives me social anxiety. I advice you to see a makeup professional before plastic surgery. I really don't understand how you see yourself as unattractive. AND I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE WHO CALL OTHERS UGLY. I really think that both of us need to stop thinking and thinking about our body and try our very best to stop caring what others think of our bodies. One time i removed all the mirrors in my house and it really made me feel way better.
Hey hope you get better/get back on the meds. Your headspace might be a little disoriented from getting off them so suddenly. You’re pretty and while I hope you keep showing your face in future vids you can try ASMR, art vids/tutorials, cooking, maybe even something you can do where you demonstrate coping methods for anxiety or dysmorphia like you’ve done before.I love your one video where you are making coffee in the morning with your obnoxiously loud coffee maker and demonstrate a way for calming a racing mind by taking your focus on and manipulating the fingers (I think)… but whatever you do it’ll be something worth watching
Life is a struggle I know it is difficult for you don't give up you are an attractive young woman I would be willing listen if you wanted to talk ever I genuinely feel for you Don't listen to the people that demean you and put you down that's their insecurities being projected out Listen to us your supporters You have people in your corner I know a lot of your dysmorphia is in your head But give weight to the ones of us that say you look fine at least as much weight as any negative comments I hope you see this and sincerely wish your difficulties get easier You are not slone
Ugh. That's gotta be rough and frustrating. I know how tiring it is and I hope you'll be alright; always feels like one step forward and two back! Your hair looks pretty ❤
youre the most beautiful thing ive ever seen, watched all your videos and i literally have a crush on you. i also suffer from mental illness (severe GAD) its a really difficult path to walk. i wish i could help :(
You don’t need plastic surgery according to your face and even if you had it, you would still come up with another issue or have another problem with something else. you have to really believe the difference between somebody making fun of somebody when they are facially deformed like say a fire or infirmity with a long nose or something like that,but there’s nothing wrong with your face.That ignorant inconsiderate person that said, you look like an old lady has some problems with their own self-worth, and the only way to make them feel better is to put you down that’s evil and that’s considered a narcissist,don’t believe it. In God’s eyes your perfectly and wonderfully made🎉😊 I love when you smile you have a pretty smile.
I just found out I've been shadow banned by 4 other people you didn't do that you let me say whatever i wanted thank you im used to being ignored because of how i am but being shadow band is much worse I'll stay subscribed to your channel and give you likes on any video you post thanks Crooked lady😊
Don’t get plastic surgery just because you can’t see how beautiful you are it doesn’t mean that you are not beautiful because you are beautiful you are and I think it would be but a tragedy if you threw away your natural beauty just bc you or others can’t see the beauty that I see when I look at your face when I watch your videos bc of how therapeutic I tend to find your videos so don’t get the plastic surgery bc in my eyes your perfect just the way that you are
I think i see the root causes. I was in a relationship with a girl with roughly the same problems as yours due to similar experiences. Sorry if i sound offensive or negative, and sorry if it doesn't align with you. Its my best shot to trying to help you. I hope its at least a tiny bit of a help. I think there are 2 causes. One is your way of handing judgement. The other one may be that you are not in any supportive relationship (Romantic, Friendly, Family). I think the only problem is that you are highly sensitive to negative judgement whether it's verbal, nonverbal, etc. It hurts you too much and you can't stop thinking about it. The feelings that most people similarly experience are stronger and prolonged for you. Most people reject or ignore judgements while you often are not. Given that, it explains why you are so obsessed with some things like your body image. Because you have been negatively judged. I know this is obvious but what i am trying to get to is that you are not thinking critically and realistically. The solution to many of your problems is to think rationally. Using rational thinking would eliminate a lot of your perceptions, would help you identify real problems and would help you find solution to them. For instance, why are you perceiving yourself as ugly, unattractive and undesirable? Is it because a majority of important people (like boyfriend, good friend, family member) didn't find you ugly, attractive, undesirable and made specific valid points? or is it because of a collection of unrelated, unimportant, untrue, unclear opinions from unimportant, insignificant, harmful, bad people? If you analyse judgement made rationally, then yes you may find that there is a repeating pattern of true facts about your appearance but i bet, just like most of your 10k subscribers and most of the people in your life, that you will find the opposite. Another instance. You say that you are unattractive and ugly. What does that even mean anyway? Does that stop you from forming friendships or romantic relationships? Does it stop you from getting a job? Whats the problem here i don't see it. In fact i don't see you as unattractive and ugly. I don't see how you see that. The other root cause, lack of supportive relationships, is probably also contributing to your insecurities and unsorted feelings. You need people to cheer you up, to comfort to, to make you happy. these delusions might be there because of the lack of human connection so they will help you reduce them and their effect on you. People can also help you think in a more realistic way. So yeah. Conclusion is, get into therapy the correct, old-fashioned way. Get into supportive and healthy relationships, END the unhealthy ones and start thinking rationally. if you start having intrusive thoughts and feelings that are stupid so just fight them using facts and logic and by talking about them with people. You can also, if you haven't done it already, talk with people online to improve. Like your own community or some other one. i am really eager to help, if you disagree or have any question feel free to ask me.
I totally get you about people judging you for every little thing but honey "You are fearfully and wonderfuly made," God made you and he loves you. Ask Jesus into your heart so He can heal you. Dont listen to the devil and his lies they are not true. I love you and i pray you will get better ❤️🙏
I wish I could comment something really positive that could really help you but the truth is that I probably won’t be able to because I get that when you feel down, positivity is hard to accept. All I can say is 1: Everyone is far too preoccupied judging themselves to be worried about judging you. 2: Even if they do passingly judge you, does that matter? Not really. Please try not to care about other’s opinions of you because honestly, they don’t matter. As long as you’re putting in a little work to improve (which you clearly are) you’re doing more than most people. I could tell you that you’re pretty or I couldn’t but the truth is my opinion doesn’t matter because I, just like everyone else am just some friggin guy. I hope you can begin to see yourself as the determined person you are (you never stopped improving your looks) as, the only person’s opinion . Remember, a person’s opinions and that maters is your own. Looks and opinions don’t matter, especially compared to their actions. You never gave up on your goal of improving your situation, even when you got close to stopping you still haven’t. At the risk of being a huge nerd, I’m gonna quote one of my favorite shows Gurren Lagann “Don’t believe in the me that believes in you, believe in the you that believes in you.” Thanks for listening to my Ted talk
Being off depression suddenly or inconsistently or anxiety meds is known to cause suicidal ideations. Tell the doc you WANT off and to wean you off appropriately. So sorry
You don't need any plastic surgery and I love the content with your face, but if you really want to try something new, then I'll be more than happy to take a video walk with you or watch your cats or maybe watch you work on some art etc. Always here for you, wherever you take us!
Hey cl, you still have the rest of your life to get plastic surgery if you choose. Try to wait until you’re as clear as possible in your mind and then book an appointment. Personally, like the other comments are saying. I do Not think you need surgery, however, sense it is your face if you feel you and your life would benefit from it, then by all means go ahead. I just advise you to take it easy with yourself and your life. It’s your life and no one else’s.
I did see several videos of people just filming a scene where they themselves werent shown, yet they spoke behind the camera. Or had their feet and socks shows, as they sat somewhere on sofa etc and filmed that while talking. 🤔 Walking would be nice too, to see the changing scenery and how do you react to that and tell of it. 🙂
This for real, I never looked at a woman who got plastic surgery and thought to myself that they looked better, they just look different or more lizard like.
Te lo escribiré en mi idioma para que se entienda mejor, no te puedes valorar como persona por tu aspecto fisico, nunca nadie será perfecto y siempre encontrará defectos en su cuerpo, lo unico que queda es aceptarse y cambiar las cosas que si se pueden cambiar. Que estas experiencias negativas te hagan mas fuerte y te sirva de experiencia, chica no te puedes castigarte de por vida por cosas que no puedes cambiar. Te deseo suerte
Most of your viewers don't care what your face looks like. A few people might but every RU-vidr gets mean comments its inevitable. I know if you don't like your face it doesn't matter that other people like it because you don't see what they see. Maybe you can record yourself sketching stuff while you talk. You can still record your face but you could make it blurry or pixelated. You could put a gaming clip as the video if you play any video games. There's a lot of stuff you could do. I mostly listen to your vids so I don't even watch what's on the screen. You could also wear makeup when you film your videos. I use makeup as a mask. Sometimes to enhance my face while other times to make myself look like a new person. I think you look like hannah owo you could try following her makeup tutorials since you have similar faces. Or maybe you can experiment with your hair. Try layers or maybe a different color. I notice you cover your smile lines. It might make you feel a bit of relief in the moment since you don't see them when you tape them but your skin is probably irritated from doing it (I used to tape mine too and the skin would be red and it would peel off) so you should try to find another way of covering them without hurting your skin. If you get face framing bangs it casts a shadow on your face which makes them less visible. Same with your eye circles. Or wear a baseball cap it does the same thing. I have bdd too. I don't go to therapy but I've been managing it pretty well over the last couple months. We have similar insecurities so that's some stuff that I do to manage bdd.
I really hope you can stop taking pills and learn to deal with your thoughts. You are a beautiful person so I don't know why you beat yourself up over your looks. I think you are attractive!
Ive thought about plastic surgery but then i realized it wouldn't make a difference at all,where i live in NYC everyone will hate you if you don't act street, i will never act street so id rather have people hate me don't please society it ain't worth it especially the society we have today they are worth less than a penny.
Do a video where you walk us through making some tie dye shirts or exploring some of your other artistic skills you have. Just have the camera focused in the shirts or othe artistic medium.
This is so true. Either people fake it OR they let themselves go and let life take them with it’s currents. Emotionally at least lol. That’s when you become the most carefree, but it certainly isn’t easy.
I will give you advice, and if you follow it, I am sure it will benefit you. Act contrary to your desires and contrary to your desire. For example, you wish not to leave the house and are hesitant to go out. Go out. You wish not to sleep. Sleep. You wish to stay and hold the phone. Leave it. Walk contrary to your desires and desires.
I know one thing,i think you are very pretty. And,i do mean that. You sure don't look like an old lady to me. And, please remember,i like seeing you on here. So, please don't hide your face. We care about you. At least i know i do. I like you alot and i care about you as well. Praying for support will help you. The power of prayer is real. You are in my prayers my friend. 🙏♥️
I want to be friends with you. I can’t promise that I’ll have the answers to everything. But nonetheless, I do think that at least having someone who can listen to you, free from judgement or commentary regardless of it being good or bad. But this is something that I want to do. If you ever want to talk or anything let me know! :)
Im new to the channel and i am just so confused. I am around the same age as you(18,male) and tbh this whole thing is in your head, you are a solid 8.5/10 without makeup, which is like top 1% of the population but yet you are still here complaining. The fact that somehow you think you are ugly while other girls who are 5s have an ego and think they are the best is fucked up tbh. Edit: Something that may help you to beat your mental problems is to recognize it is all in your head, therefore its not real, so you dont have to worry about it. Even if you start feeling low again you have to remember this is a mental health problem, is not your body or your face that is at fault. You have it a lot easier than people with the same mental health problem but that are actually ugly, because in some way its not just in their head but real too which it isnt your case.
No surgery. You must know your issue is not a physical thing, right? A pretty face is not armor. You are proof of that because you ARE pretty and it doesn't help you like you think it should. Anyway, surgery would only mess up your natural looks and make you look fake. You said you were worried you looked old, well guess what, surgery will make you 20 years older. Surgery is not for young women, it is for disfigured people and single divorcees in their 50's trying to bag a toy-boy in his 30's. (You've got plenty of time before that :P) I remember that a-hole in the store who picked on you. Sweetheart, he didn't pick on you because of how you look, he picked on you because you gave off anxious and shy energy, like a prey animal. As frightening and awful as that experience was, and this will sound odd, it was a good thing that it happened. That was about the worst thing that could happen when you're waiting in line and you survived it. Sure it was upsetting, and you felt stupid and weak and ugly and horrible, but nothing actually happened. Maybe that experience was a little too much all at once but you have to expose yourself, put yourself outside your comfort zone. That's the only way to get stronger and less afraid; and you wont attract nasty people like that any more, and even if you do then you'll be able to deal with it.
I don’t recommend suddenly stopping medication tbh, it can be very dangerous. I’m trying to slowly get back on mine because when I’m off it, my compulsions get worse.
@@CrookedLady Medication should be taken when you are totally out of control, that being said as you gain more self control you should start to ween yourself off them so you dont become dependant on them.
