True. I’ve seen that before. There’s some sort of lying or lack of truth inside of laughing and silence as a response. It’s a weird way of getting others to go agree with them. But subconscious. I learned I can’t communicate well with people who laugh as a response because it’s extremely dis-genuine and oddly it has an air or dishonesty too.
it feels like she has an image of what she wants her relationship to look like and this is what she's shooting for and wants to create. It sounds superficial. "Power couples" create together in love and trust.
I don't see what is wrong with her description of a power couple though? She said that it means continuous improvement, which is what healthy couples do.
@@somethingstuffles9084 maybe, but not always, some people are very happy where they are and with their stability, no need to constantly move the goal post to the next achievement.
Her demands of her husband are too ridiculous. She wants him to be perfect it appears, what’s she bringing to the table? Because it just seems like a lot of immaturity and bullshit.
She only brings in her vag to the relationship. He's a workhorse for her. That's his only value to her. She doesn't care about him nor his happiness, she only wants him to work work work to provide her the life she feels she "deserve".
Power Couple = We both work, but he needs to make more money than me and engage in choreplay at a frequency I find acceptable without complaint. Otherwise he gets to see me powerwalk my way to divorce court. Fellas run far away from any woman who utters this term. Treat her like you’ll get the itchy scratchy just by looking at her.
I remember my husband telling me about being a power couple while I was battling breast cancer and sat their bald. I was blown away. Come to find out..he was banging a 22 year old, kid.
I wanted to date to marry but when I met my husband, I wanted to marry him because I couldn't imagine my life without him. It wasn't just because I wanted to get married. That's why I broke off my past few relationships was because they weren't what I was looking for. When I met my husband, I honestly could not stand being away from him. I still can't we've been married for almost 12 years. When he works from home, unlike a child jumping up and down😂😂
Agree, but it can be a problem if you've decided to commit to marriage before you even get to know that person. I know lots of conservative christian couples who have bought into this "courtship for marriage" idea, and that essentially means an unspoken commitment to get married before they've even really gotten to know each other. In that case you've put the idea marriage ahead of loving that person. But I definitely agree that you should be dating with marriage in mind, if that means, having an ear to the future and continually asking the question to yourself, "can I love this person for the rest of my life?", as opposed to dating because its fun in the moment.
Her husband should have married someone more mature if that's not what he was looking for. No idea why people pick spouses that have issues they're not okay with then complain about it after.
Oh yikes! This woman! I was married at 18, my husband was 21. We had our son very young and my husband worked during the day. I worked week nights and I also worked some weekends. My husband also went to school in the evenings. We did this to avoid daycare. Now that in my eyes is a team and a power couple. We have been married over 36 years , of course ups and downs but well worth it.
Beautiful story and a wonderful example of being a team. Thank you for sharing it with us. Unfortunately some marriages fail because they can't get through the difficult years of having young children, work, school and not having enough time with each other. It's so important to find a person who will get through everything with you just as you have. You're very blessed. ❤
@@aly_ko thank you. The first few years were tough financially but little things hikes, walks, or just movie night with friends that didn’t cost a lot of money was fun. Even now we don’t go on big vacations until it’s paid for ahead of time. and marriage at times is hard work, not all the time but even we can take each other for granted and we let each other know! We’re human.
The fact that she said, "Power Couple" already tells me she wants a social media marriage. It's about what their marriage looks like on the outside, rather than what actually makes her husband happy, what makes their marriage happy. How they appear on the surface (to others) is more important to her than actually having a happy marriage on the inside. This man is working a full time job and a side hustle to financially support her and yet she's still demanding more more more. She sounds immature and selfish. If she keeps going at this rate, her husband is going to reach the end of his rope and leave her.
@@tfernandez6806 I think a lot of people look at "power couples" or whatever "happy" people they see and just assume they are truly happy. They feel jealous or simply sad that they don't have what they seem to have. That's how I think she meant, especially when she said divorce was a driver for why she had that list.
I agree, that is such a weird goal, to become a "power couple". I would think that is something that happens somewhat naturally if they support one another. People also need to realize what gets posted on social media are only the good times. I had a friend that would always post when her boyfriend would give her flowers (supposedly for no reason). After she finally got away from him, she told me that was his "sorry" after his beatings. Don't believe everything you see on social media.
I don't think it's so much fault...it's just learning how to help/get help. She knew she's the one causing the issues in her marriage...knowing her husband said he's sick of her. And knowing she had a list and date to marry, etc. She was calling to find help/advice
I see advice from some conservatives about how you should date to marry and tell the person on the first date. If she grew up in a house hold like this and community then of course she will think that this is what she must do. If her parents put on a charade then she will think this is what you must do.
@@jeremygalloway1348 To know you want to get married is not the issue here. I mean, that is not how I would approach dating. But to each their own. he could have just said “no thank you” and left. Easy as that. But he stayed and he married her. Also, the things on her lists were “I want us to always better and improve ourselves and stay in communication of what we want” because she felt this is something that successful couples do. AND IT IS!!! My mind is honestly blown with people knitpicking that she had a list when it is a very reasonable list from what I can tell. If she felt frustrated because those things were not met, then she is clearly not the one with the issue. Furthermore “Go fix yourself” are not the words of a great communicator or one with much empathy.
He told her why when he said she was a bad communicator. All the likes and basicallys make her sound young, naive, and dim. My guess is she is none of those things. Hope she and her hubby can work it out.
I shared elsewhere I wonder if others here agree or have different views of it pls comment. I’ve seen that before. There’s some sort of lying or lack of truth inside of laughing and silence as a response. It’s a weird way of getting others to go agree with them. But subconscious. I learned I can’t communicate well with people who laugh as a response because it’s extremely dis-genuine and oddly it has an air or dishonesty too.
Having lightness in difficult situations is so it doesn't go sideways. It's to keep the temperature down and help repair any tears that pop up. Look into John Gottmans work to learn more about that. I was so wrong to get upset at repair attempts i wasn't aware of.
I agree. I don't always agree with his takes but his delivery is very compassionate and he's fairly good at reading between the lines of what callers are saying/feeling.
@@a.r.8954 I disagree. He's just trying to please his callers, so the harsh truth he's completely omitting, maybe doesn't even understand it. Instead he goes "you're perfect, and then you're not because nobody is perfect", that's just honey on the pig, just what the women want to hear. I doubt anyone here in the comment section understands what the harsh truth actually is. And that's another harsh truth.
@@venM9 ha! We didn’t have a choice since neither of us had the money to do that. It was 1986, we had 6 months to plan. Had it in a fire hall, got my dress new from a bridal store that closed for a hundred bucks. A maid of honor, a best man, no huge wedding party. Suits, no tuxedos so they could use them another time. Whole wedding cost $1500, we had a DJ and a disco ball, dinner and beer/mixed drinks. It was awesome! Honeymoon for two nights in the poconos 💗
Many get married for a marriage but maintaining a relationship is hard work personally, and interpersonally and they don’t have the tools. Rarely any one gets married for a wedding. I’m going to assume you’re not married
Sounds like she follows that Morgan person and the two conservative Christian sisters that preach purity gospel and intentional marriage and it isn't working bc OF COURSE IT ISN'T.
I dated someone like this for a couple of months, it was exhausting. She held me to a higher standard than she held herself to, even though her standards for herself were impossible to meet. If you're dating someone like this, you're going to get exhausted fast.
If a woman is incapable of selflessly sacrificing for your needs/wants (at times) it's unwise to stick with her. Any man or woman with the 24/7 "me me me" mentality is absolutely unsuitable for a serious relationship.
@@thaimuayshoo1171 this is why my gf is put on pause without promotion to wife. She always thinks I should be the one who should always make the effort to go see her, at any cost, put my relatives on the back burner. Then she says, "When we're married, you can't go out to exercise past 8 pm." "You can't have a dog," it's always a demand. "My money is my money, your money is my money." "My money is my money, your money is our money."
@@texan903 You sound like a jerk. “my gf is put on pause without promotion to wife”. Just break up with her so she can find a suitable mate. You know she wants marriage and it isn’t going to be you.
😂😂😂 same here, I almost gave up and wanted to go to next video at 5:00 but Dr. Delonay called her out for being not a good communicator and finished the entire video
3.5 minutes in, and I'm already sick of her. Props to the guy for making it 9 years. 🤢 This girl has some growing up to do. Hopefully they can go get some help.
Lol I truly believe she didn't get it as she sounded like she wasn't willing to accept her behavior is fueling her issues when Doc was calling her out.
My ex was similar. Very frustrating which is why she's an ex. I remember an argument where she said something along the lines of "well I see in movies...." I checked out shortly after lmao
Oh no! It’s scary when you realise some people believe what they see on the screen as reality. I dislike obviously scripted reality shows. These shows need to be relabelled. Movies, well let’s not go there! You dodged a bullet.
Her husband made a huge mistake marrying her. She’s not looking for a marriage, she’s looking for a lifestyle that’s he’s solely responsible for providing.
so, a traditional marriage ...she doesn't sound like a traditional wife! she will need to watch a lot of video on how to be classy wife ect. She can fix it if she want we never know
Wow!! She wants to be a power couple, however, she never mentioned anything about loving him. She giggles and laughs at everything. Oh my gosh...I'm surprised that he stayed as long as he has.
And what career is she pursuing to add to their finances, and to enrich their conversations? Vs, gimme gimme gimme, and baby pooped baby peed, and in 6 months I need to be pregnant again, move move I'm on a plan!
He was with her fir 6 year's then proposed....what's that about. They created 2 people post marriage. It's too late to be sick of her. He has to sit in it with her and they have to work on a compromise.
Dr John advises his callers all the time not to read the youtube comments? Why? because he wants to deprive his callers of all the information. Why does he want to do this? For control. That's why anyone wants to deprive someone who is reaching for help with additional information. What is John afraid of? Simple, losing control! Someone may have better advice than him? Sick, sick man. Shame on him!
@@thaneros thaneros, thaneros, thaneros, newsflash --> life can be pretty brutal. Just last month I was talkig to someone who home schooled their son. The son then goes to college and finds out he can't make straight "A" like he did at mommy and daddies home school. Well, welcome to life Jr...sometimes its brutal.
@@thaneros Well yes. Maybe Tyler Shultz should have kept quiet since the truth about Elizabeth Holmes and Thaneros was too "brutal" for the world to hear. Shame on Tyler for speaking up and shame on youtubers who don't agree with Dr John. Elizabeth was right to tell people not to listen to her detractors and Dr John is right to tell people not to read the youtube comments.
@@laurie.caserta My parents were divorced. My stepfather walked on eggshells to keep my mother happy. She was demanding and did not respect him. I disliked my stepfather, disliked his not standing up to her, and disliked the way she behaved toward him. It wasn’t a good example.
@@genxx2724 Amen to that. My parents stayed together until my Mother's death. From the outside we were a perfect 10 family, from the inside I'd say we were honestly about a 7. Many good times, but also times when we were all walking on egg shells around my mother and my poor father agreeing aimlessly to keep the peace.
As a husband, I can’t imagine the pressure a woman would put on a man by a woman that wanted to be a “power couple”. Sort of fantasy land thinking and not someone that would be able to handle when life gets tough
@@Leavetheguntakethecannoli I have plenty of empathy Einstein. But I’m human and I guarantee you Dr John is not always patient but he has to be because he’s being recorded. You should try common sense
She is clueless about what a real marriage is. You can tell she's not really listening to what he's saying. Who marries to be a "power couple"?! That's a superficial thing to say and her immaturity will lead the demise of her marriage.
She sounds like she has anxiety and intimacy issues which could come from her childhood thus the need to control the outcome. Some divorces are absolutely traumatizing on kids. Some people get married before they have a chance to sort out these issues. Glad she called in to seek help. Best to you.
She is a walking red flag. Everything is about her. She doesn’t want a real relationship, she wants Instagram posts to prove to everyone (who doesn’t care) how perfect her life is. She needs to grow up and so does he because he had to see this coming a mile away
What a sick, sick, sick man John Delony is. He tells people all the time...don't ready the youtube comments. Why? Because he's afraid someone will make a really good comment that doesn't conform to his agenda. So he wants to deprive his callers with some of the information. Shame on John!
The incessant giggling reflected immaturity; this is not a joke-they have at least one child together and owe it to that child to provide a safe, healthy home with 2 ADULT parents. She needs to grow up in a big way. A marriage is a partnership. BE a partner-try asking him what HE needs and what you can do better in the relationship, and then DO what he asks. It sounds like this man married an immature girl who focuses on her own needs only. I wish them well.
Not necessarily. Laughing can be a way to deal with intense or embarrassing confrontation. You've heard of a nervous laugh? Laughter can be a way to show that you're okay or that you're uncomfortable, but you are still feeling safe. Laughter was a way through evolution to convey to a group that the tense moment or accident didn't result in terrible consequences. It's to relieve tension. You know how you feel good after a good laugh after you've been feeling down? Linking laughter to maturity is why so many adults live in such stressful lives. They need to laugh more to remind their body that they're okay, but society demands that everything is serious and every event is the worst thing to ever happen.
I have asked my husband so many times what he needs and he always says idk… so maybe she asked him and he doesn’t say anything. I communicate my needs but he won’t tell me his so that’s not a me problem that’s a him problem.
@@rustymozzy She verbalizes herself in a child like fashion. One could excuse some of the laughs and giggles if she sounded more mature when she spoke. But, the overall combo creates an impression of immaturity.
He probably wanted a good marriage. She wanted the perfect facade and a marriage that's more of a performance than a relationship. She's also hiding a lot of resentment and trauma - you can hear it in her nervous laughter.
Women always get told to just tell men what we want in a straightforward list, then get called demanding and annoying when we do. This is why women don't just tell you what they want. There is a more sensitive, empathetic way to do it, if both parties have the emotional intelligence to handle the hard conversations.
No guys love clear expectations, but not if they're established in the context of an argument or emotional outburst. Usually what happens is people fail to set clear expectations and then get upset at their partner for failing to meet them and in the heat of the moment finally say it with their chest, but at that point it has so much emotional baggage attached to it that it falls on deaf ears.
I'm listening to this apparently one year too late to really have an active voice, but I'm sitting yelling at Dr. Deloney, "you aren't listening to her!" Honestly this is total cringe. I think he completely misunderstood everything she said.
That "oh" after he said that the admiration of others will come over time by working on the self and relationship felt real. This is clearly a young person with little to no healthy IRL examples of love and partnership, falling for the societal "expectations" of them is understandable. Her making this call shows she's ready to hear others and learn, which is all we can ask for.
My husband and I dated for years before we married (did not live together.) We knew exactly what we were getting. There was nothing to change. It made life so much easier.
Ugh… I think we’ve all known someone like this. I dated a man similar in that it was all about our image, how we appeared on the outside, how I could benefit his aspirations, how others saw us. Way too much “drive” and expectations for me. I’m not a society girl. Grew up on a farm in the country and the whole social scene is just too much for this girl. I thank God every single day that He sent my husband, a city boy throughout who gave up his sidewalk’s for woods, pastures, and a barn not to mention the kiddos! I am the luckiest woman alive, Blessed beyond comprehension.❤
If he didn't take "appearance" seriously, you wouldn't be with him to begin with! Sure, there is a fine balance of taking appearance with importance and not over do it or "keep up with Jonses", but neither extreme is good. "Nothing taken to the extreme is EVER good"
I think a lot people see marriage as good but don’t know how. Don’t yet have the skills to communicate well, serve and love. People come with a lot of hurt and dysfunction and then get to practice improving on eachother. I hope they can sort it out.
I respect her a lot for calling up, and being open to hearing what John was saying. It made me feel happy for her when I heard those light bulbs go off. She has just been doing her best with what she knows, through her past experiences, and through bad advice. It's brave to be willing to admit you've made mistakes and be ready to make changes for the better. Well done.
I respect your opinion, but I disagree. She called John to have him agree with her and tell her she is right. That big fight where her husband told her to fix herself, my guess is he really laid it on her and her massive ego was hurt. You can tell by the change in her tone when Dr. John calls her out too. By the end of the call, John was telling her straight up he didn’t believe her when she said she doesn’t nag. He had her figured out real quick. Textbook narcissist. Good luck to her and her husband.
@@ShaveItDown Nah. I think his advice is completely useless, and she went at some point "I see, okay..." after he said "you're perfect and you aren't and neither is he and that's what makes it blah blah blah"... It sounds to me like she has absolutely no idea what he's trying to say. Neither do I. Whether she's actually nagging or not I think isn't important, important is that something's wrong with her behavior, the husband is sick of it and activated the timer on the marriage and she's feeling it. She knows he's not gonna change, she has to. Up till now she couldn't fathom her behavior being worse than his, but it's starting to get in her head slowly. And the list for the power couple marriage, I think it's rather a list how not to get divorced like their parents. The fact that she handed it to him means she expected him to fix all the problems, while she was leaning back and refuted all accountability. It's like, the typical saying goes "two are needed for a good communication", but from what I see it's usually the woman who breaks the communication (for example with the silent treatment) and the man alone can't fix it. That's just as an example, apparently they do communicate, but she has to partake in solving other problems by adjusting her behavior. The doc doesn't get this, I think. He didn't call her out, he was guessing. When he said marriage shouldn't be a job interview, that was somewhat decent, but I wonder whether it helped her at all.
She's living in her head and forcibly projecting expectations on her husband based on her idealized vision of their marriage. Not a great way to start an enjoyable marriage when it's driven by a biological clock.
I don’t like list. When my husband left me list when we first got married 40 years ago, I intentionally did not do the list. I did start leaving him list. Guess what ? He didn’t like being left list either. No more lo do list!
I bet you anything she's reading ALL the youtube comments 🤣 She's focused on the end goal without knowing how to get there, but she's really confident she has the answers. She needs a new blueprint and ask her husband questions on what he's fed up with with details.
Dr John advises his callers all the time not to read the youtube comments? Why? because he wants to deprive his callers of all the information. Why does he want to do this? For control. That's why anyone wants to deprive someone who is reaching for help with additional information. What is John afraid of? Simple, losing control! Someone may have better advice than him? Sick, sick man. Shame on him!
@@sudhanvakashyap297 or...now here me out, he is projecting his own feelings on her. I don't want to disclose too much personal information on youtube, but I never said that I didn't do this professionally and I never said that I haven't been in the profession for over 17 years and possibly have heard more cases then him. I don't think he gives good advice and I think he is a smug man who truly thinks he is helping people but his training is clouded too much by his religious beliefs.
@@youart9797 I may not always agree with his advice(and I'm no professional--just a book reader on this subject from time to time)---but to say his training is clouded by religious beliefs is a bit of an overreach. If anything, his religious beliefs take too much of a back-seat. He's like a generic believer that barely mentions the Bible or anything in it on this show.
@@danilaroche1156 God never meddles with human affairs. You can pray, but all you'll get is a placebo feeling. She has to get over her pride, realize her behaviors cause problems and, like the husband said, fix herself and those behaviors. The problem is that society preaches to women how perfect they are (the doctor as well, he couldn't tell her the harsh reality, instead he told her "you're perfect and you aren't because nobody is perfect") and she probably never considered her behavior to be lackluster, until the husband slapped her with the ultimatum. Now she knows she has to change, and he's not going to, yet she doesn't even know what she's doing wrong and has to call psychologists to find out. And the docs advice was sh_t. Not the best prospects for that marriage.
Social media influencers taught me I should and you should and we should, STOP SHOULDING ALL OVER YOURSELF! 2 minutes of influencer scripts are not real.
OH goodness, harsh comments. She was reaching out for clarity and who in the world would not be nervous, with their voice raising to unnatural octaves, if you were putting yourself out there and knew you were being recorded while discussing a very, very private matter? These callers are brave. Mollie sounded as if she were very willing to try a new approach and rethink their negative patterns. That is a good example for everyone listening to the call. She sounded young, and most people have a mental marriage checklist until age 30 or so.
Not harsh at all. John speaks the truth and he has to get to the core of the problems quickly. Which he, amazingly, did. I hope Molly takes his wisdom to heart.
I'm annoyed by the fake Ahas,and constant not understanding what John says. She's immature, superficial, and not thinking. I suspect the marriage counselors saw she had a iron set superficial mindset, he will provide, be handsome and we will " show well" as a couple. So they ba ked off saying pleasantries, because nothing was going to sink into that concrete. She wants to be an influencer, and her husband is longing for neat, potatoes and a real life.
*Caller:* _"I can't land a rich Chad so I settled and married a guy who is not a rich Chad and I'm now riding him, demanding him to provide me the life I feel I deserve. I don't financially contribute anything to our marriage but I have a list of demands for my workhorse husband so he can work harder for the life I envision for myself because it's all about me and what I want"._
I hope it’s not in a year sitting in an empty apartment with a baby that she realizes the severity of her marriage and what’s going on. I feel for them both
I dated a girl like that, she gave me a list. The problem is that they are attached to a perfect idea. Nothing in life is perfect. We need to see that our spouses are perfect as God made them, not as what we want to make them.
@@kellharris2491 yeah, my parents marriage was bad too and, I been living on my own since I was a teen and rapidly realize that things don’t go as plan and is beautiful that they don’t. I keep my values intact and adapt my plans according to what life offers.
@@larissagonzales6075 hahaha! It was actually two girls that gave me a list. Some people get in love with an idea, not a person. Has happened to me 4 times with my last relationships. I’ve worked to be good husband and father material and women fall for what I can provide, not for me 😔
I don't know why people are bashing her in the comment section, clearly she's having martial problems and is looking for help. Especially considering both their parents were divorced. There's no cheating or abuse mentioned either. They just aren't perfect and need some guidance from the looks of it.
Weird how this call flipped around on the caller. I feel like tons more information is truly needed from both sides to make a better judgement to help tho. I loved the Spice Girls comment and busted out loud laughing at work!
I am confused. I know we're never gonna hear from the husband so we can't ask him, but what did he mean by, "You need to fix yourself?" What was it he wanted her to fix about herself?
She needs to get rid of making her marriage an image of something and actually live in her marriage and in reality She seems like a nightmare to deal with.
I told me husband that i was saving myself for marriage and that dating for me was a way too get to know someone not a way to get layed. I think that's a better way to frame the "dating for marriage" conversation. I tell my kids, when you're ready to fall in love and get married, then you can date. Save yourself for marriage and use dating as a way to get to know people and treat then well.
On a slight tangent, this is what happens when pastors and other church leaders start taking on marriage and other counseling. While they may have faith and mean well, they frequently aren't qualified or have the knowledge to provide effective counseling. This is especially true when there is trauma or complex mental health issues. Or, in this case a woman with underdeveloped communication skills and pretty serious control issues.
Yep. This is part of the reason why my pastor stopped doing counseling many years ago. He'll give wonderful life advice but once it gets past a certain level he'll recognize and acknowledge they need help from a professional.
There was no comment on what she is doing for work. I had been there and done that. He is frustrated he is busting his. It and she is taking everything and not giving anything back. I am near certain of it
Dr John advises his callers all the time not to read the youtube comments? Why? because he wants to deprive his callers of all the information. Why does he want to do this? For control. That's why anyone wants to deprive someone who is reaching for help with additional information. What is John afraid of? Simple, losing control! Someone may have better advice than him? Sick, sick man. Shame on him!
@@youart9797uh...he told her to avoid the comments because he knew she would get roasted. And roasted she got. She's being superficial and unrealistic.
Mollie, in case you don't follow Dr. John's advice and you're reading this; you can do it! All relationships have their challenges, and we are cheering you on! It will take a lot of growing up, but you got this. :)
Dr John advises his callers all the time not to read the youtube comments? Why? because he wants to deprive his callers of all the information. Why does he want to do this? For control. That's why anyone wants to deprive someone who is reaching for help with additional information. What is John afraid of? Simple, losing control! Someone may have better advice than him? Sick, sick man. Shame on him!
John should really stop saying he's "not good at this", it's not an effective way to calm down callers. If anything it should make someone more nervous to be vulnerable.
If I got a dollar every time she said "well basically" I would be a millionaire. She had an annoying communication style before they married yet hubby cemented himself to her permanently by having a child with her. Dude, you are stuck through your own actions. Don't complain, deal.
To all the men in comments condemning her, back off. At the end of the day, she showed dude EXACTLY who she was, from the jump!!!! She didn't hide her marriage performance expectations. Dude made a fully conscious decision to date AND marry a woman who handed him a damn list of requirements. Men have to take responsibility for picking with their peckers!
Completely agree. Many men's biggest peeve about women is that their expectations change after we marry them, either because of new "circumstances" or from dating deception. She was very clear and up front of her expectations, and if a man is foolish enough to explicitly or implicitly promise his bride the sun, moon, and stars in exchange for marriage, and he doesn't deliver, then she has every right to feel cheated.