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Me and my ex broke up last month ago because i got extremely angry at her and her family for not respecting the boundary of our relationship and my feelings, they even called the cops on me, but before that our relationship was doing great and we rarely even argue, i dont know if no contact rule will still work, i tried to apologize but she is always angry, blame or insult me, so i got tired of it and told her that im moving on and i accept the break up and before i said my goodbye she told me that she was happy and proud to have me in her life and remembered all the good times we had etc. Idk what she means by that but i'm still moving on.
What if she lost her feelings for few months before she broke up with me last week? She said she tried to bring back the fire that we had when we first started. And she wanna know what she really wants and will make her happy.
So I had a really good thing with a girl but when quarantine happened I overpursued, rushed things romantically, and simped over her and she lost all respect and attraction for me. We talk occasionally now and I want to try again after all I’ve learned but she never initiates contact but at least still isn’t giving me one word answers and such now anymore. I also don't want to drop her completely. If I give her space and show high value do you think she'll show high interest again like she did in the beginning (she reached out to me initially in the beginning)? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks
My soon to be ex wife said I was emotionally abusive, but my family said that she was abusive to me. I never said anything hurtful to her, in fact we never even fought during our 15 years of marriage. Until she emotionally pulled away and told me she was unhappy. I suggested marriage counseling she agreed reluctantly but it only made things worse between us, it made me stand up for myself and express my needs and wants which only made things worse. I started to react out of fear and frustration, of her pulling away and losing my family we have 3 children together so going full no contact will be impossible. Do you think there is any chance she will miss me once we are separated longer term. Our marriage was good for 14 years renewed our vows at 10 years and then this last year she changed and did a 180?
Ouch! I lost my ex on April 7 of this year. We were together for a year and a half. Watching this gives me little hope that no contact will work. Digging a little deeper, things could be perfect and then suddenly get bad. Tomorrow *being her birthday is a reminder of this. We were serious and talking about marriage in the first 6 months, texting, talking and dating really strong. Then on her birthday I had a very serious migraine and couldn't go with her to a crab feed. I am looking at the texts right now. She was done! I had to talk her into taking me back because it triggered memories of every guy who had let her down. We still got along great but over the next months things would come up again. Unfortunately I was very claustrophobic riding in her small car and that became a problem. She had a personal incident involving her daughter where she needed to take her daughter home and needed me to go with her. We couldn't all fit in my van and she didn't bother to borrow her Aunt's SUV so I waited at her Aunt's house for her to drive her daughter home and come back. My ex then called and told me to just go home because she would be late. Then my ex calls me at 3 in the morning about how she needed me to be with her and how every guy under the sun has let her down. Then there were more disappointments. Basically things like I couldn't visit sometimes because the windshield in my van would fog up really bad and I couldn't see out of it. Many small imperfections but each with a very logical explanation. There was never any cheating or anything serious on my part. Anyway she had threatened to break up with me on Christmas Eve because of another "incident" where I couldn't make it to meet her to do shopping for Christmas. Without saying anything she came to my house, gave me presents and then wanted all of her stuff including her Aunt's DVDs etc. I was floored! I pleaded with her but used reason with her and again told her that these things were triggering all of her past disappointments. We survived that but in Feb. she took her status on facebook down to single. I responded by doing the same and texting her that I wished her luck and let me know if she misses me and said Goodbye. That actually worked and she texts back that she's not sure she wants to break up. That was Feb 11. We seemed to be together on Valentines Day. We met for pizza at a place in town. Then the following week I landed a job and she was really happy for that. The weekend of Feb 24 and 25 we had a great weekend. Long story short (I know it's already long) she was hospitalized for depression and I saw her one more time on March 11. I felt her pulling away from me the following weekend so I went into a mini no contact period and didn't hear from her for 2 weeks. I shot her a text saying "haven't heard from you Are you OK? Miss you' she got back to me saying "You just now thought of me? Wow!" and the following Saturday she ended it. She blocked me on facebook saying it had been over for months she was moving on and she decided to see someone else. Told me not to contact her. She did say in her breakup letter that she didn't think I took us seriously or I would have tried harder. But you see I'm not like any of the guys who chase her or bombard her with texts and beg to have her back. I did respond by text negatively *after the breakup letter she gave me, and I posted a couple things on facebook that she found out about but they were not horrible things. One post read "18 months of great memories are not worth THIS. I didn't sign up for this." This is my 9th week of no contact and I'm not happy about the way things ended. I also probably shouldn't have done the no contact at all because her biggest complaint was that I wasn't there enough. Any hope? I see I'm the only one who had left you a comment and sorry it's so long..
First of all, sorry it took so long to respond. Don't beat yourself up for it too much. You are not even partially responsible for the way she is feeling for her past let-downs. Her expectations are clearly getting to her as she wants to have control over you. Another thing to point out is that you (being rational) does not coincide with her emotional state. She is dealing with some personal issues at the moment so it's best you let her be for now. Keep up the NC and let her reach out to you on her own terms. Stay strong and show no weakness just the way you've been going at it (no begging, calling). I doubt she's seeing someone else right now, as she can't even take care of her own well-being at the moment. If she is, it won't last, because she still has you on her mind and will constantly compare the two of you. She thinks you don't care about her enough, so when you talk again in the future, sat something among the lines of "Listen, I care about you and I want to make this work. I know I've been a bit avoidant lately so give me a call if you want to put in the work as well". And leave it at that. Sometimes all it takes is some time away from you to realize your good qualities. When you do get back together, make sure her emotional needs are being met by communicating with her properly. You will probably hear from her when she needs a shoulder to lean on. Best of luck!
Pretty much. Don't mistake emotional abuse for verbal abuse though. If you said some nasty words in the heat of the moment, it doesn't constitute to emotional abuse. Now if you were undermining and putting them down, preventing them from expressing themself, criticising, then you might want to learn from your mistakes and move on. They wouldn't want to go back to something that made them feel unsafe and worthless. The word "emotional" abuse is being thrown around like it's on bargain these days. Most of the time it comes down to bad behaviour and mistreatment, rather than abuse. To abuse would mean to take advantage of situation for your own benefit. I'm sure you had your best intentions at heart.
There's nothing more you can do. You've done the right thing by giving her the space to experience life without you. By kicking the ball in her court, you are letting her come to you on her own terms. Live well until she reaches out. Best of luck!
People don't let go of things unless they truly believe they are better off without them. It's possible she had another guy lined up. If it does, it could take up to 6 months for the honeymoon phase to end. Either way, 3 months is quite long, so you should find looking for a replacement, while keeping the doors ajar for her.
Interesting facts. I had blocked my ex for more then month she called with help of mutual friends but I didn't respond good. Finally I realised my mistake I went back now she is angry on me and lost all attachments and attractions. We are in long distance relationship from last 6 month never met but didn't get time. I screw up badly. I did everything you say so not to do after break up. Pleading guilty asking for another chance blaming crying and calling and texting her again and again. Moreover mutual friends made more damage. Now no Contact will work? Please help I love her and she loves me too. It's just I feel she had bad response that's why she is angry on me. Please help
My ex and I had an argument in Dec last yr and after that he started to pull away... He broke up with me in early March this year...I was very upset. For the first 2 weeks, I sent him greetings and he replied until one day he stopped replying. I didnt msg him since then and I followed the NC rule until now. He hasn't contact me....his birthday is coming soon next month...I'm not sure if NC is appropriate in this case?
Hey, read your comment, m going on contact with my ex, her birthday is coming up next month. I am not sure if i should wish her or should keep it low, any suggestions ? Am is the same situation as u.
me and my ex been together for 2 years we had a break up because she said i was too controlling and we argued too much and that I put too little effort in the relationship. so I begged and pleaded which annoyed her away form me causing her to block me. so I waited about a week and emailed her "hey im sorry for begging and being annoying. I'm here when you feel comfortable to talk too me again" and then I started no contact is this a good idea or did I mess up the hole situation?
Hi. A lot of people beg their exes into blocking them. You are not the only one. You've sent her an apology email, and told her to contact you when she is ready. You've done your part, so now you must wait for her to reach out on her own terms when she's ready. I've written an article for your situation: magnetofsuccess.com/ex-blocked-me-how-to-get-unblocked/ I also started working on a video, but that might take a while. Zan
If you were distant, you apologize once and say you realize how your actions have hurt your him or her and say you understand they may need space. Right after the breakup, tell your ex you understand his/her need for the separation and to contact you once they've gained some clarity. After that, it's time for some soul-searching and improvements.
@@MagnetofSuccess i mean she studying in different city and she said that she needs constant physical and emotional contatc. I cant move to her city so she decide to breakout. So sadthat she cant wait for 1-2 years til I finally can move to her city.
Your ex is emotionally independent and requires continuous emotional support. If that is the real reason behind the breakup, you've dodged the bullet, grenade and a meteor too.
Forcing your feelings never ends well. Once a person starts to detach, one thought will turn into more thoughts. Shortly after, thoughts create powerful emotions which often create the need for space. What you do is give your ex as much time as he needs. He has to figure out why he feels the way he does. He has to come to a conclusion on his own.
