'Regretful Parents' Subreddit Continues to Grow as More Parents Wish They Stayed Childfree 

I felt the same with my mom. Like we were a burden.

Same, it was like my very existence was a burden.

Resenting your kids will only make them resent you later on . Don't have them if you're not ready or don't have them at all.

Same, I'm 28 now and she's 46 and we can finally get along, but she made my childhood very miserable lol it's one of the many reasons why I don't want children of my own.

right? like me and my brother were our mom's world and she still managed to make a lot of the mistakes that our boomer parents made quite commonly. she constantly tried to get better, I can't even imagine growing up in a home where I was resented by the person who brought me into the world.

Lucky for the pets. They escaped bad pet parents.

Also we hear about animal rights more than children's rights. Parents see their kids as extensions of themselves, a part of themselves they can dominate and disrespect.

Your average person puts more though, planning and care into a Saturday night alone at home than they do into having children.

@@acegikm ...then they call child-free people "selfish", being totally oblivious to the irony...

😅 I never understood how these broke people thought marriage was more of a commitment than having kids. Also tons of bad parents.I know refuse to babysit.Other people's kids or hanging around kids and then ask surprise when they turn out as bad parents.

Cannot understand how people not know already the cliches of parenthood: not having a personal life, money consuming, sleepless nights... like how can this surprise you? It baffles me

​@@andrealinalfonso If everyone around you is having children and it seems to work for them, then you get the illusion that you can do it too

Exactly

@@realglutenfree all I heard since the beginning of my concious life was that parenthood is hard... maybe it is what we choose to hear. Or the things you think you need to do in order to be socially accepted. Was never my problem luckily

​@@andrealinalfonsome too I've never been somebody who cares too much about strangers opinions. But you seem intelligent so I'm sure you know you only need to care enough about strangers opinions in order to survive. It doesn't always matter how you're perceived. After all you would be the person living with the consequences of your actions not them!

EXACTLY!!! Other kids are NOT our responsibility.

don't be their donkey

Same My whole life, my miserable mother and talked trash to us Kids and threaten to delete us and she swore,I'd be the baby mother, but no, both my brothers. Both need help babysitting both try to use me for a babysitter and both are cut off because they took advantage of it and never could return the favor when I needed help ever.!

Yeah, and this is why parents call the childless selfish, because yall are. Just remember, the birth rate is plummeting. The kids are falling way behind in basic education. You got 7th graders reading at a 2nd grade level. There's going to be a lot more of us and a lot less of them. They are going to have had a lower quality of education. They are going to remember how the older generations treated them when they're working in an understaffed elder care facility. And you are going to remember when you're sitting in your own shit for an hour because Jessica has 15 other patients to attend to.

I only babysit for money. I’m not about to have a kid run rampant in my place and potentially break stuff. Yeah I love the little ones in my family but I’m not watching them all day for free when I have stuff to do.

What I have come to realise is that individualism and 'the village' aren't compatible. It seems everyone, esp. modern parents (people), want it all, but should you dare make some suggestions, tell the kid off for doing something dangerous, etc., then you're considered a piece of work. I've seen very giving/charitable people have no issues raising their kids communally, but that's not most people. And while this is a small part of the debate, I fear it's often overlooked.

Naa…I’m sure even when people lived in homes 3 generations deep there were people who had kids and regret it.

The rise of the social media is also one. We are able to see women from all generations talk about how difficult being a mother is and how you don’t get help from fathers because “it’s a womens job” some people in the video touched on being a married single parent. It’s not new and women aren’t willing to deal with it anymore. There been too many stories of husbands having a flip switched when they become fathers and don’t think any of the child raising is any of their responsibility.

well said, the rise of social media and how easy it is to get contraception and confidence that we can ask men to wear condoms @@Zxgrhexbj

As a parent I feel this 💯 and don’t think their regrets should be on social media because they could regret saying anything later. I do not regret my kids but as you stated I hate the lack of support that there is. I love my kids and they make me laugh and I don’t think we should normalize hating kids, it’s ok to be child free but it’s not ok to hate kids we need to keep them safe from these wicked thoughts.

Your dad sounds like a complete degenerate. Nine kids ruined his life… not one, but NINE!!! Like, the first, second, third, fourth were so awful he chose to more than double that number and then complain, lol.

Oh my goodness I am so sorry to hear that. He doesn't deserve to be a father.

Or get a vasectomy *shrugs*

It's an ego thing. He's "too good" to wrap it up. He regrets his kids, not constantly rawdogging it.

The kind of people who are patient and have big hearts who say they love kids make the best parents. I have patience and love to give too but I still don't want kids. So many people have kids on a whim without thinking about it and sometimes those people end up regretting it. Just because I am patient and kind I will not make a great parent, because at the end of the day I don't want it... If I had kids that would be like me shooting myself in the foot + the kid having to suffer my bad decision too. Just not worth it. When me and and a guy I dated for 6 months he said he wants kids and I said I don't... I still feel like he will make a great dad in the future. And I think he will get there soon. I said to him "in 5 years you are having 2 kids and a wife I bet you!". He just moved in with his new girlfriend and has gotten a dog together. I'm a bloody fortune teller, I knew it!!!!!

Everyone needs access to safe abortions.

Because it would give them good reputation for the family and the partner’s family, or they are forced by the family

⁠@@zebnemma. Most people who have kids don’t like them and they encourage others to have them because they want them to be as miserable as they are. But I can tell that you really love kids. That’s why you discourage people who are not ready to have them to not have them. The one caveat, that I have with this,is if someone thinks that they do want to have kids, but end up with Post Pardom Depression. As someone who has regular depression, I knew kids was not for me because I at hard to even fathom having kids while being depressed. So I have to ask you, what would you do if having kids suddenly made you depressed? Isn’t it too late to change your mind by then?

@@hallooos7585That’s definitely true. My family disowned me, and I think it’s partly because my husband and I don’t have kids. But we are homeless now and if our family had disowned us anyway, which they probably would have, my kids would be in a horrible situation. And so would I. So I’m glad that I never took that chance that my family would take us in if we had kids. Because if we aren’t good enough, what makes us (with kids) any better. I’m glad that I stuck to my guns and didn’t have kids. How would I explain to them that their grandmother was allowing them to be homeless. I never in a million years thought that my own mom would do that to me.

Misery loves company

cognitive dissonance

It happens all the time.

misery loves company. and also, i feel like a lot of people just get resentful that childfree people were brave enough to make that choice and they weren't. so they want to force you into suffering with them

@@bottomofastairwellthat’s how most people are on many different topics, comparison is the heart of envy and resentment

Omg this! That was also a contributing factor in my decision not to have kids!

right? it makes me laugh when MRAs are out here like "wE gIvE oUr boDiEs To WoRK" it's like what do you think women do having the 7 kids you wanted before you dumped her for "letting herself go"?

@@amandasullivan6599 Everyone ages and menopausal women have to do regular strength training with weights and diet adjustments. Getting older is inevitable however, I don’t want to have stretch marks, a mummy tummy, a possible c-section scar or my hips widened by birthing a child.

@@amandasullivan6599because no one cares about that lol. The point is having kids will change your body much sooner than not having kids will. So you doing all this talk about menopause and calling women shallow for not wanting to have their bodies altered by pregnancy shows you have some issues you need to work through. You also need a lesson in reading comprehension. Your line of thinking is what’s really shallow and leads to unhappiness lol.

@@amandasullivan6599 I think you assume I’m in my 20s and I’m definitely older than you think. No one was bashing older women‘s bodies and you can be beautiful and fit at any age.

That's rich for them to say when the average person is on 4 different prescriptions.

it's a reflection of them and their unhappiness, all 10 of them

Cope

@asr_____ Cope.. lmao. You couldn't afford my condo. I'm in NYC. Enjoy suburbia old man.

We all know men needs anti depressants as much if not more but they avoid doctors and dealing with their problems.

I’m sorry, that must have been really hard to read. I can’t even imagine what that was like. I hope you have found someone who truly loves you. ❤

Especially when there are families out there that desperately want kids and can't have them due to infertility.

​@@pinupgoblinthere are people like that who desperately wanted a kid due to infertility, fought hard to get one and feel the same way. It's lack of support, lack of community. "You need a village" they say. And it's true. Parents need breaks. Other family members should step in and help out. But in this individualistic society people are left to fend for themselves and that leads them to hating their lives. No one is immune to these feelings, not even people who desperately wanted a kid and got them.

Hey, at least your mom only wrote it in a diary. My mom said it to me everyday

@@non-applicable.Ah I agreed up until the “should” part. If my sister has a child and she needs a break she can hired a babysitter or ask our parents. I don’t ever want children however I would adopt a child over ten. It if I didn’t choose to have said child and didn’t make said child than I have no obligation or responsibility to that child at all or will ever. I should never have to watch a kid that’s not mine.

If he wanted to be irresponsible and not have safe sex, why doesn’t he just get a vasectomy? He clearly doesn’t want anymore kids and doesn’t use condoms lmao.

​@@strawberrytiramisuthe reason why guys in droves arent getting vasectomies is because pregnancy doesnt affect them so they just don't care. They only care about their degenerate lineage passing on 😂

We need this kind of shaming in society to make people realize their behavior and nonchalant attitude to the gift of bringing life into this world is not something small or light. Those children will grow up with the same empty hole I feel in my chest that I only found healing by finding Jesus in my life. And even then, I still have to ask forgiveness because I'm so angry. Why have me and then abandon me? Like be responsible with your reproductive organs because it's not a toy.

Many women think a child is a "couples decision". It is not.

​@@passionproject568there's many people who call it a "happy accident." That fact disturbs me. Kind of angers me FOR those children who didnt ask to be here and live a hard life. That they only exist because their parents wanted to get off and don't care about the conditions the innocent children will be in.

The doctor one hits hard, because just like being a parent you’re gambling peoples lives.

Thank you for sharing!

Sounds like you are childfree. Childless is usually referred to people who want kids but don’t have any for whatever reason, such as not being able to have them. Childfree is for people who choose not to have any.

PLEASE Stand your ground. DO NOT allow ppl to bully you into something that YOU, don't want. Those same ppl that are trying to guilt you into motherhood will be the same ppl, that WONT help, WONT pay for anything, WONT babysit, and will throw it up in YOUR face that YOU made the decision to have a child. DONT DO IT! Live YOUR life the way YOU want too!! Your reasons are very valid, and it's also valid to just not want kids. Let's normalize saying no to things is OKAY as well. Go live well sis 🙏🏾.

YOU DONT NEED A REASON fyi

"The amount of pressure that my friends, family, community, and complete strangers applied in favor of me having kids was OVERWHELMING." I grew up in the 80's and 90's when choosing not to have kids was much less acceptable than today. The pressure I got from people made me genuinely angry. I'm 40 and fixed now, still no kids, and while I no longer have to deal with "you'll change your mind someday," I now have to deal with jabs about being a spinster, dying alone and unloved, and having something "wrong" with me. Oh, also about how no man will ever want me- even though I'm in a relationship with one (who also doesn't want kids). The overall social pressure isn't as extreme as it was when I was young, but it's definitely still there, and is likely worse in certain communities.

Amen.

I was thinking the same thing. How awful would it be for someone to read that their parents regretted having them?

It's really the only people I feel sorry for. Poor babies.

😢same . Those children deserve so much better and they deserve to be loved 💜 It's bad enough their parents hate them but to put it on blast online is fcking disgusting.

@@dafni10565 I'd die if I heard this from my parents

both, they wanna be the main character

Yes this part. I love my children because I taught them how to act. But I can’t stand little unruly children with zero home training.

I whole heartily believe i have the best kids in the world. But I hate being a mom. It’s draining to know that you are responsible for this human life at all times for a very long time. That’s my personal experience.

No children SUCK

Exactly! This scream selfish and not wanting to put any effort into training their children.

Certainly some do I’m sure. But certainly not all.

@@samanthagowen7299we don’t need the “not all” statements

I've noticed that because I'm childfree, a great deal of parents seem to feel comfortable telling me how they really feel about having kids. I've heard so many regretful parent stories straight from the horse's mouth over the years.

That's the dumest reason i ve ever heard

A child is a duplicate copy of you and your spouse. If don’t like them, you are really not liking yourself and your partner.

This would 100% be the only reason I ever have a child, to make my parents happy. I’m not creating an entire human being just for that lol

this.

When I was unsure if I wanted kids my eldest sister told me she would love her kids to have cousins….that helped me make my decision of not wanting kids.

Mind your own business. Who are u to judge that they would better not exist at all? Wtf You think you are better yet u will extinct. Natural seletion knows better than your cope

I’m so sorry. I understand what you mean. Absolutely awful. While I understand what you are saying and no, not everyone should have kids, you are here for a reason. As someone who has a similar experience I decided to make my life worth living and found happiness in Jesus. I wanted kids so I could have the family I never had. Not that kids are for everyone but Jesus is. ❤ I found a purpose outside my parents and people who’ve let me down. You will find yours, too. I’m rooting for you!

This needs more likes because this is the real problem. These resentful parents are just people who fucked around unprotected with people they're not even compatible with because "feelings" when they needed time to be single and get therapy. Then they have kids they're not ready for with somebody they resent and the kids get all the blame. I had to realize that about myself, get help and wait for the right person to come along, not blame my child for existing.

​@@audrey6928 That's nice 👍

Sending you so much love, I really empathise.

Same

I have a 5 year old and 3 cats. I love being mom to all of them, but it’s been chaos since the two kittens came home. Every day I’m glad I didn’t have another child. Only children are the best ❤

@@ladyeowyn42 As an only child who had to raise an entire litter of kittens born in my living room, I both agree with you and am having PTSD flashbacks. Good luck.

I own two cats and those first few months of them getting used to me and my house were hellish, I couldn't sleep more than a couple hours at a time. Now they're two-years-old and whenever they get sick or start fighting or break something I thank the universe that I won't ever have to deal with human kids lol

Puppies are a better teacher. Cats can be left alone, can use the litter box. Puppies and dogs tie you down more. So a bit more representative of what to expect and even then pets are easy than kids

​@@Blondie77128Exactly. I'm on my 3rd pit bull. I'm getting a cat next because I need more freedom in the future.

talk about irresponsible

@@Halo4beatsB02shut up

Thank you for sharing this with us. It was very brave. You made the best decision for YOUR life, and that is all that matters. I wish you well.

As a mother of two very loved babies, I also never told my family about my abortion/miscarriages. I didn't want the extra grief added on to an emotional decision. Sometimes we have to do what's best for us.

I’d never tell my parents either. That’d be something I’d take to the grave because they’d hound me.

Wow o_o. I often hear parents say their kids drive them to drink or make them hide somewhere for peace and quiet 😬

At least they are trying to get help. Better than the alternative.

@@hlb9834children need boundaries. We don’t have to be attentive to the 24/7 (excluding the infant and toddler years). Parents these days submit and serve kids as if they are royalty. Never establishing, communicating that mom and dad are people to, the marriage is a priority. Not everything is about the kids. We were not the center of the world growing up. We were allowed to be bored, learn to entertain ourselves, go outside and play. This allowed our parents to have space and allow them to be themselves. Modern parents have the impression we lose ourselves to the children. This is how they burn out and then have these negative feelings. We need to find balance again. Take lessons from the boomer parents/gen x relationships mix with the best from current with some old school.

I work in maternity hospital in UK. I have a full time job asking women to please stop smoking during pregnancy. So many think they are stressed when they are objectively bored because they don't work or study, volunteer or bring any value to community.

I’m so sorry to hear that, Leslie.

This. I've been saying this forever.

You’re not alone. I’m now severely disabled & unable to work or attend college/votech. Lost all but 1 long distance friend because my kiddo was a threat to their kid(s). Don’t qualify for any assistance. Kiddo is SEVERELY disabled. They have zero friends, will never be able to drive, work, have a spouse, live independently, go to prom, none of it. They shouldn’t be left unsupervised, ever. They’ve become so massive, violent, & unpredictable that everyone has to walk on eggshells. Kiddo has tried to kill me & the animals several times. Once by locking the animals & I inside the house while trying to burn it down (with just me & the animals inside). I caught them as they were sneaking out the back door. They looked me dead in the eye. Laughed. Spit on my face. And said “You die tomorrow”. I probably should’ve called the police instead of the pediatrician. But at that time, kiddo was only 6 years old. Still no help. Still got blamed for it because I should’ve kept a better eye. They were napping (so I thought) & I was flaring & in the bathroom ummm let’s just say I was sitting on the toilet AND puking into the bathtub. I’ve begged & begged for help. Always got told I just need to parent better. I literally destroyed myself permanently doing everything I could for them & for what? Now neither one of us has much quality of life. Now we both have no future besides an assisted living facility. Separate ones for my safety & I don’t need a max security facility. I’m quite drama free unless provoked into self defense. I just. Parent. Better. Really? I did my best. Set myself on fire. Burned myself & my future to the ground for a human that would rather I cease to exist. For a human that will have to be institutionalized, permanently. There is no fixing things. There is no undo button. I did get a tubal ligation to ensure this never happens again. I wish I would’ve seen the multiple miscarriages as a huge, flashing, STOP signal to the oncoming train I walked into. But the grief & raging hormones blinded me. As far as do I regret THEM…that’s a sticky question, truth be told. I try my best to live my life without regrets. I try to count them as lessons learned instead. Because regret will eat at your very soul. And quite frankly. Regret doesn’t change anything. I do have a lot of…guilt? For giving society not one but two more disabled folks that can’t contribute. No shame towards myself or any other disabled person, in the slightest. But I CHOSE to bring a human in the world. And it bit me in the arse. If anything is a regret in regards to kiddo specifically. It would be that they have to suffer endlessly because of a decision I helped make. That I will be paying the price for, too, for the rest of my life. 💔

I'm disabled and so are both my kids.... (autism and delays) ... we struggle financially and we have comorbid medical issues... including me... I have cptsd, autism, anxiety, ocd, etc etc.... I have never 1x regretted having my kids... ya it gets hard but they are legit my whole life. I would never ask for anything different. Yes my life turned different than it should... but damn I'm glad it did

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Wow thank you for sharing!

they were hoping you'd be kidnapped

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I relate to you so much. I have given up on the idea that I’ll ever be a normal happy person. I remember once my mother took my brother on a little vacay. Didn’t say a word to me. I was alone for three days with no way to contact her. At one point I ate a raw potato. When she came home, I rushed to the door beaming, so glad she was back. She screamed at me that I didn’t even realize she was gone and that I don’t love her. stomped off to her room like a teenager. I was seven.

Poor babies 😢💕❤️💕

This. My mom had her grandparents to take care of us while she went to work and provided. Never had to pay for daycare. Had a super strong support system Now, after having MY baby, she has been a holy terror in my life. She constantly was berating me about choices such as vaccines, circumcision, and my boundaries. While in the hospital, she took my husband to a bar to try to get him to talk shit about me to him and told him that I was being dramatic (WHILE AND AFTER GIVING BIRTH), that she felt bad for my nurses, that I was just being negative and that I was UNGRATEFUL, for her buying me some pants after fat shaming me less than 24 hrs after giving birth. My legs were SO swollen because I was by MYSELF(my husband had to go right back to work) going up to the NICU over and over. Could barely even eat or sleep because I was taking care of my baby and my mom wasn't there. She CHOSE to go on a vacation and asked me to house sit for her and the dogs, who RAN OFF causing me to go into pre-term labor!!! I begged her not to go just in case because I wanted her there. She made it back to her street as we were getting admitted to the hospital. Then, she completely disrespected me by kissing my baby multiple times causing all of us to get covid, rsv, and strep within 3 months of his life when I verbally asked her NOT to kiss my baby. When I confronted her, everything blew up and she tried to tell me that she talked shit because 'you didn't care about anybody else while you were in the hospital!!!" We're no contact now and I plan on NEVER speaking to her again after those comments and actions she chose. She got to my family before hearing from me what happened, and idk what she told them, but my WHOLE entire side of my mom's family has me blocked. After 8 years and 7 pregnancy losses, I am STILL grateful and LOVE my baby. He's the only thing that keeps me holding on now... But now I'm almost completely without family or support system and my PPD is MUCH worse than it was before all that. If you dont have kids, are on the fence, and have extremely toxic family members, I would say just don't. Unless you're willing to go through this alone and isolated.

Thank you for sharing. This financial uncertainty is what prevents my mind from allowing me to think about having kids. In my experience, literally I cam go from broke to having money to broke again and jobless 6 times in 10 years . I just want to be stable for at least 5 years straight. Having kids to me means it needs to be a 20 years.

And fwiw... I regret my parents having me. I'd be astounded if they didnt......🤷‍♀️

I think that's why there's a lot more child-free people now. People realize they don't have to have kids.

Exactly. Our society wants to pressure women who don't want children to have children anyway, then society is shocked those same women are crying 😢 about their regret.

Just wait for the "but what if your HUSBAND wants kids? Don't you want to give him kids??" Argument. Exhausting. No man will change my decision. I control my uterus. Period.

​​@@Dani4Equality Husbands be asking for kids and doing jack sh_t for them. Women carry the full burden of having children I see it literally everywhere its so gross Having kids these days is like a lose/lose situation ong

Isn’t it funny how these people never use that argument in the opposite direction? If you said “yes, I want kids” they wouldn’t have said “you’ll change your mind”. Even when children say they want kids it’s encouraged. People tell them to wait, but they don’t try to talk them out of their decision.

Also, pregnancy takes a strain on women, not men.

None of the fathers I knew had to give up hobbies, jobs, time with friends or sleep to raise their child. Well. That's a lie - i know of one dad who gets up to feed his son in the night. It's harder on women for sure.

@@teacherella1338Strain is a very gentle word for what many women experience. For some it’s very damaging.

Amen to that! A Lot of males out there but no men. Womens burden was child birth, mens burden is work. What a bunch of lazy lions out there. God sees everything.

Sad, but, for many of us, true.

Saw a statistic from my country where something like 70% of divorces happen around the time the kid turns 2.

It’s always 2 for some reason

​@@ULuvJanaeTerrible twos. Toddlers are super bratty 😂

@@ULuvJanae It's because toddlers are horrid little monsters.

​@@Alex-mc5ynThere's a reason why they call the 2's terrible.

Most people skip all those prerequisites and just…. Have kids. It’s sad and pathetic

​@@whoome1638no it's not. It is just life. Everybody should be able to. And those who dont want, fine, but dont hate on others.

@@asr_____ we agree to disagree.

​@@asr_____some irreversible decisions that affect a person's life is worth hating on if it was irresponsible. If I created a horse somehow with no knowledge or money or resources to take care of the horse would I somehow be exempt from people disagreeing with me?

It all comes from a deep childishness, lack of vision and selfishness. People who don't ponder over life and what they want from it seem to be like this. My dad always asked me what I wanted to do. And I was 19 when he sat me down and asked me what I wanted the purpose of my life to be. What did I want my life to look like.

Sometimes you can have everything right and still not be cut out for parenthood, I guess your argument is that you can just get a nanny to replace you and I kinda agree

Hopefully now that her children are adults they can understand the weight she was carrying and what she gave up for them.

​@@TheOriginalScorpioBellebut us, the kids, didn't ask to be born.

​@@daisy_elle_ Yes. Thank you.

@@TheOriginalScorpioBelle It's not their fault. Anyone saying they regret their children to their face is truthfully not a good person.

​@@cyberspace7208buddy. No one trully good person. 42 here, my mom tell me she blames me bacause i was born made her cannot leave my father. For the 1st time? When i was 4 y.o. and she tought i wont remember that. Now, everytime she whines wanting grandchild from me, you bet i throw that back to her face. I love her, but i WONT HAVE CHILD BECAUSE SHE WANTED IT!

My grandma had many kids and grandkids and honestly I don't feel like she cares all that much about us. She had the older children caring for the younger too and because she was so young she never got to do what she truly wanted which was to be a teacher, in fact she pushed a lot of her kids to become teachers so it's obvious she was trying to live her dreams through them.

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Literally harder to adopt a pet I think it’s insane

​@@Tova0131- it's so true. They put so many barriers to entry to adopt a pet from the county pound.

I'm really glad you're in a better place now and decided to give it a chance.

@@plutotoad203 thanks mate, me too :)

God bless you and your son 🙏🙏🙏

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She made her child suffer because she's not a good person.

That’s my parents lol

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You do realize that alot of these regretful parents are the perpetrators of raised by narc parents. They are the narc parents. They hate their kids!! Fick sakes people use your head

Because misery needs company. They did not have the forethought to think like you did about what you knew you could or couldn't handle. So, instead of lauding you for having the intelligence and introspection to know yourself and the cost of living....they get jealous because when you lay it out like that, they wish they had thought about it like that before they had kids

@@ecclairmayo4153 Yep, that or they don't have a backbone or just think it's the thing you do. When I was a kid I was terrified of growing up because that meant I would have to get married to a man and have kids and I wasn't having it. Turns out I'm childfree and bisexual so that was fun. I can't even describe the intense relief I felt when I realized I didn't have to have kids.

They put more planning into a short vacation

ikr.. like it's a full blown human.. didn't think it would be hard??

Not even "worth" either -- after a woman becomes a "mother", that's all there is to her. While men's status got elevated once they become a "father", a "mother" gets ALL the bad end of the stick. Everything will be their fault and the frankly inhumane standard mothers are put on is simply brutal. ALL their pain are dismissed and even a TINY fault will get people MOB them. Sure they get an impression of a better treatment by the society, but behind their backs people talk vile stuff about mothers.

@@bloodmajesty414 Unfortunately you're right!😮

Removing the uterus will just cause premature menopause and carries a higher risk for osteoporosis and even dementia risks for women. Best not bother.

@@rsmith4407 Wrong! That is caused by removing ovaries, not the uterus.

Doh! Silly me. Yes…it can have a reduced functionality and cause complications but no, you’re right. I’m thinking of a full hysterectomy not a partial.

@@rsmith4407 That's ok. Full hysterectomy only happens when ovaries has no salvation. Partial is more comon to treat miomas, endometrosys, etc.

Tubes can regrow. I have gone to 3 babyshower of tubes surgery gone wrong 😂😂😂😂😂

Or as happens a LOT got drunk and didn't take precautions

I feel the exact same. I would love to be married someday and have a child free relationship

I can confirm it’s a good place to be. Married 23 years and early on we thought kids perhaps, certainly were encouraged and pressured and questioned when will we. It became alarming how invested strangers were in my reproductive narrative! It’s not for us though. And I’m so glad I didn’t cave

Same

Same but with summer. I live in texas and dread summer so much.

You sound awful.

That woman really ticked me off, if she hates her children so much she can just leave, her kids probably know how she feels about them anyway

I think my parents were ready to have kids I just think they chose to raise me in a bad environment( granted I do believe they had a lot of faith me and my sister would be strong enough to handle it) plus I think that's only a part of my issues.

Welp big shocker most people aren’t very smart 😬

Because they shouldn’t be their parents in the first place these people should not have to care for a child they don’t want and the child deserves a better parent to love them and choose them, they need to be placed in adoption and not kept custody of.

Yeah, like, the kids didn’t ask to be born

i feel kinda sorry for the paretns, but it's so easy to not have a child.. so i dont rlly feel bad for them. i feel bad for the child that is secretly resented by their mother and might not have any idea,

Don’t have kids isn’t an option in some states anymore

@@phiacraft338 Which states? The ones that are banning abortions and many reproductive healthcare options?

@@strawberrytiramisuyes in those states

Grandparents have to work nowadays and they are getting older/tired. I can see why they wouldn't do more. Its enough for them to focus on their own health to try and stay alive. I just don't see how that's selfish. I do think it's wrong for the kind that's constantly harping about wanting grandkids to not be more involved, though.

More like groomed into it... I remember being so weirded out being gifted baby dolls as a BABY myself 😵‍💫 my own mother calling me "mom" it was inescapable and the pressure to be a future wife/babymaker makes me sick to my stomach. Just wanted to live like a normal kid.

​@@piroshk1968I used to throw baby dolls onto the roof when I was little because I hated the dolls, I always found them to be creepy (and I much preferred dinosaurs)

#blessed

Not going to lie but that does feel kind of accurate to how I feel. As a 36 year old for me it's more like I am a teenager that gets to take advantage of all the adult advantages but without the stress and dissatvantages of being a teenager. Like for example if I want to come home after midnight on a weekday I am adult no one will stop me.

I feel like a teenager with adult money lol

No, i have no kids, but i still have to take care of my whole family, being the emotional and economic support of them. I feel like i'm the only adult in my house because my parents are realy bad at makeing decissions. I've already experience what being mom is since i took care of my sibling since i was 10, and i don't want to pass throught that again. I'm not even in my 30's and i'm already tire. I realy want those vacations.

Getting to sleep in on the weekends or just lay around the house and take a nap when you need is a blessing and a luxury only afford to people without kids

I agree it's the extra unpaid worl that has to get done NOW. I'm single with no kids spending time relaxing on RU-vid while I have a pile of laundry, tax documents, and meal prep I have been procrastinating about. I think if I had kids, there would be time to procrastinate and lay down like this

Then society should stop forcing ppl to have kids.

Their kids will know either way.

@shawnlove4502 how weak minded are you that you can't accept that people make their own decisions? Also, why the hell are you writing a snotty reply to me? Lol. Weird.

@@shawnlove4502no one is forcing folks to have kids. They may be forcing you to take responsibility for your choices. If you have sex, expect kids. If you don’t want kids don’t have sex or cut out your reproductive organs.

@Supersquishyawesomeness that's essentially what I said. They'll be traumatising their kids. They don't need to verbalise these thoughts though.

they don't hate their children. most posts go out of their way to state that. they hate parenting.

I'm sure there are people who genuinely love being parents. However, I'm certain that there are more who deeply regret it than anyone would like to think. I honestly believe it's a majority.

@AngryReptileKeeper yeah :( I know my mother loves me and my siblings but I'm pretty sure she feels she could done more with her life if she didn't have us so young, she was 17 when she had my brother and 19 when I was born and in her early 20s when my sisters were born. It wasn't easy being a young mother especially when my brother's father along with mine weren't in the picture. My mother did her best but I can't help but think she has deep regrets becoming a mother so young and has some resentment. I know being a parent is hard and a thankless job, but even at an early age I knew parenthood isn't for me, I'm Tokophobic and I don't have the patience

I have 3 kids and I genuinely love being a mom… I had parents who weren’t good but my mom tried her best. I grew up and knew I wanted to create the life I never had and I did it. I wanted the family unit and yes it’s hard. Nothing worth it comes easy. I do not regret it. So we exist. I agree many people should not be parents but I also understand the economy, world, family breakdowns in the systems contribute to this plus the high divorce rate. Jesus keeps us together. Also I was never raised a Christian. Found Jesus after I was married and had my kids. God bless everyone on this journey. Kids or no kids life is hard! Rooting for you all!

I think all parents have to mourn their old lives, but no, we don't. I do regret their dad, not them😂

I’m a parent and love my child. But I guess I knew what I was signing up for as my friends and siblings already had kids so I saw the good,bad and ugly. I admit it’s hard but I don’t have regrets. My heart goes out to the unwanted children. May they find peace and never know or find out how their parents truly feel.

I blame our society because we can't have it both ways. We can't be pressuring and demonizing people who don't want to have kids to have kids anyway, then when they are sh*t parents turn around and get angry at them for hurting their kids. When people say they don't want kids, they need to be supported in their decision just as much as people who choose to be parents.

I suspect that most men don't share because they can simply opt of being a parent. They go to work early, stay late, leave the house on the weekends, and feign sleep when they hear the kids crying. When their partners ask them to do anything for the kids, they do it badly so that they won't be asked again. For the woman, that's not an option. Most women, no matter how much they hate being a mother, are going to get up and see about their kids. The men know this so they can quiet quit being a parent, smugly knowing that their kids are taken care of.

It is hard for them because they learn from young age to not share their feelings and this has normalize a lack of self love and expression. It is very normal for straight men to not decorate, not care for personal and space hygiene, not care how they look unless it is to attract the opposite sex. All these behaviors in a woman it would instantly identify as depression and lack of confidence. But in a lot of male spaces, it is so widespread, that it becomes normalized, and there's a lack of acknowledgment of the emotional impact all these little actions are accumulating. That is why you see the rise of alpha male podcasts that lure people in by using helpful advices like "do workouts" , "have routines", "buy good clothes" and then make sure they stay as loyal lonely customers by advising them to abuse and hate women for their poor mental state. Somehow it is ot patriarchy's fault, not society's , nor their neglectful parents but the women that rejects to carry their emotional unresolved issues into a longterm relationship.