Some thoughts on MGTOW 

Women: we shouldn’t be forced into marriage. Mgtow: we agree. Men shouldn’t be forced into marriage either. Women: nooooooooo you’re sexists.

Monk mode all the way. No cohabitation. No support. No procreation. Let them be independent and strong all on their own.

Men Getting Tired Of Women

It is my business to be my brother's keeper. I can advise my brother not to jump into the fire, but if he jumps, he has to face the consequences of not heeding the warning. We can advise people not to marry but not force it on them. Marriage is a dangerous game.

Been married, been divorced, been a single parent. Been there, done that, not going back. I walked away in 1993 and have been living a quiet, peaceful life of abstinence ever since. No one has EVER presented me with a good argument that convinced me dating or marriage would be a good decision. Going my own way was the best choice I ever made.

I would never definitively say I’m walking away from love/relationships. But finding a woman with no baggage and decent communication skills is like finding a needle in a haystack.

Women: "Shame on you! Men are horndogs!" Also women: "Shame on you! You're not a horndog!"

Paul, you were the first man who unwittingly helped me wake up. When I did, I wasn't interested in MRM or MRA. I just went my own way. It's not ideal. But these days, it's the only path that makes sense to me and men like me. Thank you for your content. Although I don't agree with all of it, it helped me save my own life.

I was MGTOW before there was a word or acronym for it. They used to call such a man a "confirmed bachelor". The best job I could get was driving trucks,a job I deemed to be too much of a risk for divorce for me to pursue a relationship or marriage. Any job which calls for routine travel comes with a similar risk. It puts us men in a position of being unable to hold women accountable for fidelity. Few are the women who are capable of faithfulness in the absence of a man's constant presence. Much of the time, these same women,if they are the unfaithful variety,will be chafing if the man is able too present, but the name of the 'game' is to leave them no excuses.

I have not yet heard another voice on the issues of men that is as clear and concise as Paul Elam's is. The re-uploads are a treat. Thank you so much for your work!

Man, i miss this wisdom. Merry Christmas, fellas.

It’s not for everyone. You have to be ready to spend long periods of time alone. Even if you have hobbies with other men, that’s only a few hours/week. Holidays, birthdays, special events. Just understand that you’ll be riding solo.

I really appreciate these re-uploads Paul, thank you. I too am a man going his own way, but choose to enter relationships with women. It is unfortunate that marriage has now become too toxic to contemplate. Even a girl that complains I don't trust her enough can be soothed by the brutal truth that they can be convinced by their friends or the allure of hypergamy via a lawyer. Hope all is well with you sir and a very Merry Christmas to you and yours.

I'm now 44 years old, but I'm sure I watched this video in my early thirties. It was when I came across bar bar and stardusk

I hope you return to monologs someday Paul. I think I've wore out the replay button on all your other/older monologs. And if you have done more recent monologs please point me to where I can listen to them. Many thanks.

its crazy how awesome life can be once you stop focusing on helping them. still help and love of course! just start deciding whether their necessities require it and your ability permits.

Paul thank you a million man you'e a needed voice today

Great points. SMV is required for romantic love (see Sternberg's triangle). But, only the top 20% in looks are desired by the primary selector (females in humans). Personality (Intimacy per Sternberg) is important, but it only applies when Looks are there. Own Way is prevention of being MANipulated by narcissists and financial leeches which is all 80% will ever find. Many Own-Way types do occasionally get some action. They just insist on fair terms rather than delusion, shame and sanctified P4P. Wheat Waffles channel shows the underlying reason men are MANipulated. Peace.

Once blue Then red MGTOW Life is led

Thank you for that fine articulation, Paul. I’m going to catch up with you on Re Men this week, as I have something to talk with you about with other trusted men.

I went my own way in 1998. Never looked back. Was my decision - don't recall any youtube back then, and did not hear the acronym until 15 years later lol.

I enjoyed your talk. As you imply, MGTOW isn’t a movement, there are no meetings or demonstrations. Family Court brought this centrist into going my own way. The acronym, for me, means choose to fraternize or not but no cohabitation until family court law is made equitable.

I belive that once a man comes to it, that he, is the only 'unicorn' worth pursuing, a safe path to marriage or cohabitation exists. When I look back on the past 8 years of my second wife working, while I retired at 40, me homeschooling the kids and pursuing hobbies... I hadn't considered it until watching this clip but, at what point has she committed more then her share and stands to loose more then she may have gained in the event of a collapsed relationship? To be honest my second wife has been my only sheild in dealing with my ex. legally, albeit slowly, helping me to extricate myself from her insane demands. Of course my ex is furrious about the lack of child support and alimony and accuses my wife of being an "enabler" expecting me to return to a life of 14 hour days, 21 on 4 off in the oil feilds. Just for some perspective here. I'm a 5'7 man who was half bald at 24, barrel chested and not so easy on the eyes these days. Just sayin guys. There is a way, but it requires self control, self love and conscious awareness. Control the reigns of commitment. Control the reigns of sex. Take only what you give, and take up front where trust is lacking. Keep your word on everything and hold everyone around you to thiers. Promise little and then present a lot. You will make for yourself your own pillar within the family. Irreplaceable and non disposable... If what you're thinking here is "where can I find a unicorn" you need to go spend some time looking in the mirror and have the self control to not touch yourself (or a woman) for a good long while. Stop worshipping at the alter of gyno in actual deed rather then just in bitter word and thought.

"I've been with the same woman for 11 years" I wonder if anyone knows of a healthy relationship that is more recent than that, it seems that bout 10 years ago things changed. Also has anyone noticed women hanging around men's wear sections of shops, it's like they're starting to seek men out now.

Nice oratory on this rare subject!

MGTOW has been helpful for me. I have no regrets about my newfound freedom and happiness.

I have gone my own way for several years and it has allowed me to be financially comfortable and enjoy my hobbies, . I will use pay for play every couple of months which is legal here in Australia at nice venues, this allows me to enjoy my freedom and is well within my budget .Having been divorced some twenty years ago and never wantingto try again it is a great option for me

Keep up the good work Paul. Hope you'll keep producing the encouraging material.

Before getting married or having a child or cohabitating it is worth seeing how easily she will kick you to the kerb over relatively trivial matters like refusing her when she asks for a child or commitment or even liking a bikini photo on Instagram. If she is harsh in her treatment of you then you know that she will treat you like shit when children are involved and things become way more complicated and difficult.

Thanks for the great upload! Please keep up the good work.

Great speech, great conclusions. Thank You for that.

Paul Elam: men's advocate for decades

I remember hearing this years ago. Still an excellent essay on going your own way.

Men an go their own way and still be in a long term relationship, as I am. Keep all realestate in your name only. Do not share checking accounts or credit cards. Do not pay for anything you don't want to pay for regarding her kids from a previous relationship. Do not split or share your pension with her. Have you kids as the beneficiaries of your life insurance. They won't like it, but stick to your guns and remember, you are the prize.

Paul Elam is just plain simple fearless and men need to get their balls up and do the same

"Pure wisdom"

Women can fight the wars, fix the cars, paves their own roads and fix their own damned toilet.

Thanks Paul. ~peace

MGTOW = men going their OWN way. That means a man will go the way that best suits him. It does not mean one size fits all. Some are now going their own way out of the Western countries. I follow an attitude of indifference toward women and relationships, be it short or long term, will follow my own code of what i will or will not accept. I want a woman in my life as long as she behaves. If not I want to be able to go my way without any repercussions from anyone.

At age 10 I knew I would never marry or have kids (based on observations of the male bashing going on in the world), nor be entrapped, although they certainly tried, am now 47, a lifelong bachelor, would not say I'm "happy" but certainly not miserable.

Truth hath been spoketh by exalted venerable Mr. Paul Elam. Love from India

I won't lie. I thought you had done a Barbarossa and left the public sphere. When this popped up in my feed I was surprised. Pleased too as I'm not sure how much longer I'll keep chasing down the creators I've been following and supporting for years. I went my own way 20 years ago. Went through all the usual steps and I'm now finding myself frustrated that there is this 'Grass is Greener" mentality going on with what is being called the 'Passport Bros". As if suddenly women and the governments in other countries will not treat men the way they have in their home country. I guess you really can't fix desperate. Anyhow, good to hear your voice. I've subscribed. That is until RU-vid unsubs me.

Now that was a blast from the past.

I think it's a matter of understanding female nature and the gynocentric social order and behaving accordingly. As we remove the power of that social order by going our own way, things will necessarily change. I, PERSONALLY, do not eschew the company of women, but I do it on MY OWN TERMS using MY understanding of the above stated concepts. That is all ANY OF US can do, and, being men, we will feel the consequences in our lives as to what those terms are based on our own understanding.

Women have always been hypergamous, but it was always restrained by patriarchy. In gynocentrism, hypergamy is encouraged and celebrated, along with it's consumerist nature while male authority is reviled and made practically illegal. That's not deterministic, it's realizing that we cannot succeed in a system that outlaws masculinity.

Regarding male vs female determinism, I think there is a more simple explanation. Rather than thinking about evolution it's enough to just think of basic economics. Many men create a vast market for women to profit at the expense of the men in their lives. This is true whether it's through family court, marriage, or by any other means. In many cases, while some women are exhausting the resources of the current man in their lives, they already have the next one standing in line, waiting for his turn. This is not a rare occurrence. Some studies suggest that 50% of women have back up boyfriends. In some cases the back up boyfriend even assists in the effort of exhausting the resources of the current man. Simple economics is enough to explain this process. The process is very profitable for some women and this profitability alone is enough incentive to continue the minimum effort. This is something that is pervasive with many women though, even less materialistic women. Retirement is the dream for many people, both men and women. With men, they often have to wait for government programs or have overwhelming financial success. For women, the man is often her retirement plan, since many women want to "retire" as housewives in their 40's or earlier. This is not so much a gender issue though. If the retirement age for men was lowered to 40 then many men would retire as well. This is based more on survival instincts than social instincts though and is not unique to humans. Most life wants to use the least effort to get what they need to live. If the effort of getting food is always exhausting then the chance for survival diminishes. Humans, as well as animals often pick the path of least resistance when trying to gather resources. In the case of women, more men simply provide more paths with less resistance.

I do believe that hypergamy rules in nearly every woman and the chance of me not being bit by it to be slim to none. Not because women can't overcome it but because they are not taught or motivated to do so. As such, why would I take the risk of marriage and children? For the same reason I believe most men will still marry and have their finances, hearts, and mental health destroyed in divorce court. Being alone as a human being, man or woman, is not natural, not ideal, and often times hard. Going MGTOW is not a celebration of freedom, rather it is coming to the sad and rather depressing understanding that it is the lesser of two unideal situations.

The young modern woman is a whole other beast compared to the women of the past... it is foolhardy to generalize in either direction. Trust but verify.

If you live in a common law state, you are not going your own way while being in a long term r-ship. The state can rip you off at any time and there's nothing you can do about it. Whose business is that? Ask divorce courts and the legal system.

'' no marriage, no cohabitation, no kids'' , that's MGTOW. How hard is that to comprehend? Sex or no sex has nothing to do with it. MGTOWs do not consider you one of them because you flip- floped on that subject several times. Also, you've been advocating for men and women to work together towards change in the gender narrative. We believe that ship has sailed. Too much trust and goodwill have been squandered. I should be working with women towards a better future? How do I work with someone I expect to knife me in the back at her slightest inconvenience? Before MGTOW, the MRAs have taught me a lot, and you in particular. You have Charisma, and you know how to speak well; unfortunately that is far from enough. To put it simply we just don't trust you. MGTOW is on MEN's SIDE; not to fix society, not to reconcile, not to divide our attention fairly between the sexes and try help them both. We are for men. What women choose to do is up to them; they're independent aren't they? We are the 21st century version of the male space, and our only worry is to pull MEN out of the line of fire. If that process happens to benefit society good, if not: tough.

Men have no responsibility to engage the modern social contract.

Mr Paul Elam has been around way longer than that clown rollo

Appreciate that this is older and you may have changed your views but I think your main criticism/objection misses the mark. MG t o w men know they are going against their evolutionary programming and hence know it's a tough choice. We're not saying that we can override our nature but women can't, more that the rewards of overriding it are worth the dissonance and attrition. I'm not sure the same can be said of women in general. If the sexes become fully alienated I believe women will find it way harder to adapt and be content.

I have graced my Facebook page with this video. I hope you don’t mind!

MGTOW is Simple! Just do what feels Right for you..but be responsibility for your choice.

Men create complication in their life when they expect that a woman will love him the same way he can love. Once a man let's that guard down inside, he's doomed. Stay awake, men, avoid the pitfalls of letting down your guard over a hole or two.

It only takes a small percentage of medium to high value men to leave the marketplace to create awareness. We seen the impact in the last 10 years. For me, MGTOW wasn't a choice. It is the only viable pursuit of happiness. Once you adapt to the lifestyle, there's no turning back. Once you learn truth, you cannot unlearn it. The outcome for woman is a much smaller, and stricter dating pool, that holds women accountable. Women are rebelling, but they have no leverage.

MGTOW as a concept ->> YES MGTOW as a movement ->> NO

A man has every right to do as they please. But I’m more of the opinion that a man should do what’s best for himself. And having a good woman in his life is never a bad thing. Having the wrong woman in their life can be devastating. As a divorced father of 3 children… I can attest to that. But not all women are bad… just as all men aren’t good. It’s your job to look out for your best interest. Sometimes that’s being alone… Sometimes it’s being in a relationship. 😊👍🥃

He says that I would game the judge lol but doesn't this man not think that he is on the judges chessboard

Keep fighting the good fight Paul! WELL DONE!

I thought men going their own way were guys who were not going to permit a woman to put him to work for her.

Having relationships with women is something each man must make decisions themselves for MGTOW. Being fully cognizant of the risks vs reward and the cost vs benefit from entanglement for that man with that woman and his efforts to place safety mechanisms for himself. That is the essence of MGTOW. Red Pill is about knowledge of societal systems and how they've been weighted ahainst men. MGTOW is generally walking away from romantic entanglements. It is important, but it goea from PUAs to Monk to black pill intent on causing the system to burn down.

A friend looked at the marriages around him and decided that if the only benefit of marriage was sex when your wife agreed to it then the risk of losing everything he had worked for wasn't worth it. He said it was far cheaper to visit a lady of the night at a reputable establishment. An interesting story from his activities was that he conned one of his mates (not me) into going to the brothel with him and wait while he visited one of the ladies. Mate, "Do you do this often Fred?". Fred, "Nah mate, hardly ever.". They walked into the brothel and the madam looked up "G'day Fred, did you bring your son with you?". The names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.

Going your own way is a path all men should walk down at some point in life. I walked it for almost 4 years after my divorce, from 2019 to the end of 2022. I have been in a 9 months committed relationship ever since, and although it’s still early, I believe to have found my NAWALT. However, heed these words very careful gentleman. As I promise, the other women I came across in the time of me being single before her, weren’t even worthy of my sex, let alone a relationship. The good ones are so rare, you have a better chance of picking up a bottle of Pappy 15 at retail price, than you do finding a NAWALT. Good luck out there guys, and stay strong.

Off topic. The redpill mindset is now being conflated to a movement, and the worst examples are being used to define everyone. Heck of an uphill battle.

Game the judge? Lmao I wish he'd a gone into detail on that one.

There is a factor that may be of interest: Schizoid Personality Disorder. The symptoms are quite interesting and this affects more men than women. In the US, it affects around 3-5% of the population and among other symptoms, a lack of interest in sexual and other bodily experiences. I am a fucked up man. In my case, I have never been comfortable with attachment to a woman as my own mother was suicidal and homicidal throughout my infancy. The one girlfriend I had at 15, suffered from my inability to sit comfortably as I would suddenly get pissed off and leave her side in random situations. Once, I told something to a guy in my class and by lunch it became gossip that turned into "he is going to breakup with her" and I found her crying with her friends. I felt like a piece of shit and still to this day, I can't remember what I said but I can only remember how I could not get comfortable with her at all. Because of that and other factors that basically make me a loser, I have never taken any chances with girls. I have never approached them, always cringed at the idea of "game" and live in self-absorption trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. I think it would be very hard to differentiate me from a man who can't get a partner, but in my case I have had several chances throughout my entire life and I just can't take them. I am exploring these things with a male therapist, who suggested I might have the Schizoid thing, but I am friendly, attentive and enjoy deep conversations at the same time that I spend most of my time physically alone, there's something to be said about being accompanied by all this technology even though you're the only person in the room. MGTOW always made sense to me, as I am absolutely cynical due to how deeply fucked up both my parents are. In my case, I do suffer from the lack of perceived status that comes from being a single man, yet that doesn't motivate me to find companionship. That also counts for friendship, I am open to it but I don't seek it. Suffering is too broad to be put into categories so simple as "you can't get women" or "you don't deserve a woman". To me, all that does is reinforce my cynicism for people all the way from Jordan Peterson to any of these "have game" dummies online. In my case, the truest struggle is finding peace and calm on the inside. Whatever comes after that, I don't even have space in my mind to think of.

And people wonder why marriage laws since the beginning of time have being the strongest

If I may give a suggestion on good mgtow content. I strongly encourage monk on top of the mountain. He gives you what you need to here, not what you want

yes if its working for u great im happy for those that got good women and relationship mgtow is here just to be helpful for men

Classic manosphere 👍🏽

Question for anyone who thinks men should get married... Exactly when are YOU going to start fighting for the divorce laws, child custody laws, domestic violence laws and false accusation laws to be made fairer to men?

🤣😂🤣😂🤣 i'll game the judge

It's *_not_* MGTOW, the moment it gets an acronym.

I’ll start taking MGToW seriously as soon as they stop telling young women to get married if they want a good life. They don’t want women yet they want women to want them? Sounds like they are trying to fool themselves.

If and once I actually get divorced, it will be at least 10 years to get into another relationship, that I'm pretty certain of. The Christian in me feels compassion in that women in "developed" countries get really strong cues from society, on how to devalue, demean and blackmail their husbands. Blackmail especially is the most repugnant thing to me ie threatening to make knowingly false accusations to state authorities, to try and whip you into line, so to speak. I know for a fact there are very many women (perhaps still the majority?) who wouldn't stoop to such a low level, but now I've seen it happen or heard about it often enough to realise the core arguments of mgtow are definitely true. Women themselves ultimately will become the victims precisely from these kinds of cues in the long run, and to whichever women happens to be reading this, please seriously question where wives in particular get the cheek to say or suggest to their husbands, in any shape or form, threats to make false accusations against them, to state authorities? If Mgtow is merely men moaning like children, then why is it only women threaten their husbands to make false accusations that they know can compromise a man's good reputation and standing in his community and the wider world? Furthermore, what possible benefits can arise from such behaviour, in the long run?

MGTOW should not be pushed on young men. These youngsters should be educated as the nature of women and divorce laws because most men want kids and hey have to navigate things to hopefully have them knowing a lot can be lost. Wanting kids is the wild card and causes men to do things and interact with women which creates real risk . If you do not want kids or have had them already and been divorced, you should be MGTOW or at the very least just pay for sex as needed and not be in a relationship of any kind. The older you get you simply cannot bounce back from a bad woman and the laws that destroy you if you marry or have kids with them or even live with them in some states. Tough lesson to learn but I wish I would have been educated when I Was a younger man. Todays young men have no excuse for what happens to them.

Interesting thoughts here. The problem as I see it is that with the purposely instigated social engineering that has taken place a new social construct between hetero women and men has not had the time and effort put into developing and new way of living. So we get a lot of mudslinging and attempts at solutions (poly relationships et al) that are failed strategies from the get go. If women and men are to be equals then how this equality is to be achieved is the work at hand. Until then MGTOW makes perfect sense for the majority of men. If women want true equality then they will have to give up some of their feminine privileges as men will have to allow women to take an equal share of the burdens of current life in a cooperative atmosphere of shared responsibilities and decision making. This type of situation may harken back to an earlier time when women and men worked closer to achieve a stability in living, along lines of clear assignment distinctions but of equal value. This way of being of course needs to be modified for modern living. There will be a solution barring transhumanism but it is not getting much in the way of resources to find this solution.

"I'll game the judge" sounds like a child that wants to be right no matter what. STUPIDITY!!!

Gentlemen if you don't like what's on the Menu ( westernized feminists ) go to a different Restaurant ( country and stay there ). Monk Mode is the only Logical alternative.

Jeremiah 4:1 And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach

Nah, as a man, I definitely will tell you exactly how to be a man.

A man coming to the MGTOW realisation and a MGTOW are two different things initial MGTOWs are mad why shouldn't they be? Everything they have ever been told about relationships and how it works are being proven to be a lie so why wouldn't they be mad? to be on the receiving end of a massive practical joke wouldn't u be angry? However eventually u realise that being mad at women is as stupid as being mad at a shark or a bear or a wolf for acting according to their instincts and genetic programming nature is nature and u can stamp ur foot and shake ur fist at it all u want it is going to go right on being nature

An Ear for Men Would you be up for a discussion on this? Specifically the two angles that I believe could be summarized would be MGTOW and the Church.

MGTOW is misunderstood. All it really means, at least to me, is men will no longer put themselves carelessly at legal risk in relationships; engaging in spoon fed magical thinking that everything will be ok when all evidence says otherwise. That we are in control of our sexuality and not the other way around. That our personal goals are most important and that achieving them should be our primary focus. It's a Man centered philosophy for Men. It doesn't have anything to do with women. Or with celibacy. Or with misogamy. Those that say they are MGTOW and all they do is throw bombs at women aren't really MGTOW and should stop identifying themselves as such.

Many men will certainly benefit from establishing personal relationship with God. Outside of organised religion hopefully. Study the Bible, preferably KJV.

Your subs are creeping up. I wonder if recent events at the 'blue bird' have had a sobering effect on YTs back room.

A man who’s in a relationship talking about men’s issues holds about as much weight as me taking advice from a goldfish about breathing under water. At least you call out the hilarious irony of it 😂

EDUCATION IS THE KEY BROTHERS!!! I'm about to defy these historical adverse odds and get my children back....in a scenario that should normally be inconceivable... Read Isaiah 4:1 and take solace bros

Every man has a different life experience. I personally don't believe it's an either or. For some, not having anything to do with women romantically won't affect them like it would for so many others. Those men know who they are and have learned to live without. It's not even an issue of bad or good, it's just the reality they've lived. For others, they cannot function entirely without women (romantically) and it would have very negative effects on them even though the market is not in their favor. Then you have those that spend time and energy fixating on women in a negative way. But those who do don't represent one group or another, they simply represent themselves as individuals. I’m of the belief if the man in question really knows themselves, they should be supported in whatever path they choose provided they accept the consequences and have personal accountability. Whether it’s going monk, red-pilled or whatever. So long as it works for them and they're able to succeed it's not my business to judge which path they take. I have a few friends I know that are married with children and at least from what I see, their relationship with their wife is healthy/balanced. There are the EXTREME minority compared to others, but I am glad to see it when I do. I love and care about my friends so despite my own beliefs based on life experience I would never try and “poison their well”. The world the way it is, it’s good to see positive examples even if they are the unicorn exceptions.

Wow if you are a man please don't take any of this to heart. I know internet and pop culture feeds you a bunch of stupid crap but its really a very small percent of what is really out there. Just have some self confidence. Even as the biggest effing nerd, don't do nothing try for something new, always show appreciation for your other and things will be fine. The truth is women need you just as much as you need them. Its not like there is 3 men for every one women. There are more women then men and they don't wanna be alone even more then you. If you are a man and wanna be a loner then more power to you but don't feel you have to "cause the times are changing". Even if 5 million men are having problems that's less then 1% of the population in the US. Keep that in mind and only the sad and lonely scream into the ether of the internet.

I went willingly and forced even though married! Not all but most,majority modern weman do not RESPECT marriage. They try tempting me frequently.

Personally I am having difficulty shedding my simp chip, that is, a life without being a utility to women. It’s a challenge. Btw Matt Walsh is convinced men should be pursuing married and family life. SMH.